Work Text:
Song: One Ok Rock – The same as…
~I try to show you I'm strong
just get all along
umaku amaetai kimochi ga / Feeling like a spoiled child
hetakuso na tsuyogari ni shika kanarazu / With nothing but a useless show of courage~
It was pleasantly warm, the wind blew freshly through the green trees and gently made the leaves move with it. It was so incredibly peaceful on the banks of the Karusa River. Ichigo enjoyed standing here and just staring into the sky. And the laughter and singing of his friends and family behind him did not disturb the peace. On the contrary. For Ichigo, it was the most beautiful and peaceful day in a long time. Never was he happier than he was in this sight. He had his shinigami powers back, the world was saved, and his family was well. His friends stood by his side and celebrated his return.
Everyone had really come. Orihime, Chad, Tatsuki, Keigo and Mizohiro, Urahara, Jinta and Ururu, Tessai, his sisters Yuzu and Karin, Isshin and Ishida. They were all here, on the banks of this river, enjoying the sunset. They laughed and talked, they played and argued, just like Jinta and Karin. It was the perfect end to the day. Ichigo laid his head back and breathed the fresh air. Pulling it into his lungs until it stopped, he calmly released it.
"Kurosaki, catch!" - Just in time, Ichigo realized he was being spoken to and clumsily caught the soda can thrown at him. He blinked briefly and looked at Ishida. – "We brought some food and drink. Help yourself", Ishida replied to the questioning look and stood next to his classmate. – "Thanks", Ichigo mumbled and tapped the lid of the can with his index finger to calm the carbon dioxide down a bit before he opened it. He didn't look at Ishida anymore, but directed his gaze back to the river that was slowly drifting away. The light of the setting sun was reflected on the surface of the water, turning it a soft orange.
"And how does it feel to be a Shinigami again", Ishida broke the pleasant silence that had settled over her and with a skillful movement directed his glasses. Not that he really cared, after all he already knew the answer. But for some reason he felt the need to talk to Ichigo. They hadn't done that for a long time. It had been ages since they had talked alone, and that without being on the hunt for a Hollow or beating any other kind of enemy. – "How was it for you to be a Quincy again after you lost your powers?", Ichigo asked the counter question, interrupting Ishida's further thoughts. But the question was justified. For probably no one could understand Ichigo the way Uryuu did. He knew what it was like to suddenly be helpless and dependent on others. He knew what it was like to face the big question of who you really were. – "But you had to get along much longer without them. On the other hand, my situation was still a piece of cake" – Ichigo turned his head back to Ishida and looked at him. I guess he was right. He lived for seventeen months as a simple man, without spiritual powers, without knowing where the next danger lay.
Ichigo took a closer look at Uryuu. His gaze traced the contours of his face. Hanging from his glasses, over his hair to his shoulders, over his hands, to the Quincy Cross on his pendant, over his chest. – "You've had your hair cut" – Ichigo looked his classmate in the eyes again, but he snorted just disparagingly. – "More than six months ago. And we've run into each other several times since then" – "I know. It makes you look more mature", he answered, suddenly reaching out to Uryuu. What was that about? Was he really going to touch him now? Ishida did not take a step. For seconds he held his breath and waited for what Ichigo was about to do. And then he touched him. Only a fleeting touch of his fingers on his cheek as he reached for Ishida's hair. He carefully ran over the strand, letting it slide over his fingers like silk. – "I see it for the first time", were Ichigo's calm words. Ishida was sure they were no longer talking about his hair. There was so much going on here. – "For the first time in a while, I see it again" – Quickly Ishida turned his head to the side, thus removing the strand of hair from his classroom, which he had just caressed, and made an offended sound. But if you looked very closely, there was a slight blush on the Quincy's cheeks that was directly related to his wildly beating heart that threatened to jump out of his chest. – "Don't say such things!" – Ishida was trying to sound as usual. He wanted to give his voice the usual detached tone he always used when talking about Ichigo. But he didn't. He heard a suppressed laugh, and then they fell silent again.
Ichigo took a big sip from the can and looked up at the sky, which was getting darker and darker as the sun retreated. Ishida, on the other hand, looked at the ground in front of him. He enjoyed this silence immensely. It made his breathing calm and even. For a gentle pulse. – "I'm glad you're back to your old self" – Ichigo looked at Ishida. He looked at him again for a few moments. Did he hear a secret message from his companion? – "Otherwise I would still have to take care of the Hollows alone" – Ishida adjusted his glasses. Had he just thought the silence was soothing? Perhaps he would have to revise that now. According to his own words he had the feeling that he was about to burst with tension. Should he have kept that to himself? Did Ichigo perhaps hear the underlying message in his words? Then why didn't he say anything? Ishida didn't dare look in Ichigo's direction. But Ichigo didn't look at him either and kept his eyes on the grass instead.
"I know, I've been away for a long time", he said and was well aware that he had been more than present for the last seventeen months. But that did not change the fact that his words were true. For he had not been himself. He had lost his courage and the will to fight. He had rather sunk into his thoughts. Knowing that he could not protect anyone or anything in this situation. That he was useless. – "You know, all my life I'd wished for nothing more than to be a normal boy. I didn't want to see all those ghosts, feel all those things. I just wanted to go to school, get my degree and work. I wanted to live my life like everybody else. And when I did, I hated it. Suddenly I wished I could be myself again. Because without those powers, who am I?" – Ishida denied himself an answer to that even though he would have loved to throw it at him that he was nothing more than a weakling. Ishida had hated him for the last seventeen months, during which time Ichigo had been nothing more than a normal human being. For being so weak. For putting up with all this and doing nothing about it. For not being able to defeat him. He was no longer his equal and he had hated that! It had made him so angry that Ichigo pretended it was nothing. As if it was all a game and it didn't matter if he had his powers or not. That he behaved like a simple man! – But he said nothing of these things. He didn't want to argue with Ichigo now and most of all he didn't want to make him feel even worse than he already had. Because Ichigo was quite aware of that himself even without Ishida saying it again. – He had clearly become soft!
"But all that's about to change" – Ichigo smiled broadly. – "I'm ready to fight again for what I love!" – At these words, Ishida couldn't help turning his head back to his classmate, who looked him surprisingly straight in the eye. He almost forgot to breathe. What he hadn't forgotten, though, was the familiar tingling in his stomach whenever he looked into Ichigo's eyes this way. – "It was almost as if I hadn't been there for the last seventeen months. I've missed so much that I feel like I'm finally home again" – Ichigo now turned completely to Uryuu, the soda can in his hand was forgotten and was held unnoticed only at the top while Ichigo's arms dangled down his body. – "For the first time, I see how grown-up my sisters suddenly are. How serious Karin's expression has become and how motherly Yuzu is. How my old man is becoming truly like a father and how detached Inoue is from her problems. How strong Keigo really is. And you-" – Ichigo faltered in his words, just stared stubbornly into Ishida's eyes without finding the right words to express what he feels right now. All the events around him had just passed him by and he hadn't even really cared. He had lived his life and tormented himself with the thought of never being himself again. He had retreated into his inner world so much that he had forgotten everything that was. What he had felt before the fight with Aizen.
Ichigo came closer to Ishida again. And again he reached out his hand to him. He laid it on his cheek and slid his thumb gently over his skin. The dark hair tickled the back of his hand whenever the wind blew calmly through it. – "Don't do that" – Soft words, without any resistance they should have. This was not supposed to happen. They had always consciously avoided it until now. – "If Inoue-san sees this, she'll be sad" – It was no secret that Orihime was in love with Ichigo, even for him. But that didn't matter. – "I know" – Ichigo would not let that stop him. For it had taken him too long to remember the feeling he had always felt with Ishida. In his desperation and self-pity, he had simply forgotten. He had forgotten that he actually felt something for the Quincy. Something profound. – "It will shock the others" – Only Ishida realized that her friends had already looked at her one or two times. Ichigo still didn't seem to care. Should they be watching. It wouldn't change his longing that he suddenly felt again after so long. – "I know" – For so long, they've both felt something for each other, without ever admitting it to themselves. They knew there was something between them, they weren't stupid after all. And yet they never did anything to be close. For both of them it was a strange feeling and maybe it was just not the time for them yet. And so they had lived next to each other for ages. Trying to forget. And so did Ichigo. – "They may not understand" – But now he saw again. After a long time, he opened his eyes again and saw Ishida. He saw and realized how much he missed him. They were only a few meters apart. – Only a grumble came over Ichigo's lips until he closed them with Ishida's. He didn't want to forget anymore. Never again he wanted to forget how he felt for Ishida and how much this guy, whom he liked to call a moron, actually gave him. He would never let him go again, never to forget who he really was. He pressed his lips tighter on Ishida.
A shrill, hissing sound suddenly tore them both from the panting touch of their lips. Startled, Ichigo glanced at his shinigami deputy badge. – "A Hollow" – Ishida immediately took two steps back and looked around as he ran off as well. – "Oi! Ishida!" – Ichigo reached out a hand to him, even though he had already run too far to catch him. He was still slightly confused and clouded by her kiss, and looked after Ishida. But actually he should have known. After all Ishida had been Kurakara's protector for the last months. No wonder he jumped off as soon as a hollow was nearby. – "Come on, Kurosaki!", heard Ichigo the Quincy call. He was already standing on the sidewalk on the hill and waved him over. – "Or are you afraid?", he asked him provocatively, grinning broadly. Ichigo had just left his soda can on the grass when Ishida had already started running again. But Ichigo couldn't wipe off his grin either and grabbed his deputy badge. With a violent thrust, he was pushed out of his body and hurried after Ishida in his shinigami uniform. – "Wait, Ishida!" – Suddenly, Ichigo noticed how quickly he fell back into normal life. and he had never been so happy. Everything was back to normal, yet so much better. Ishida looked over his shoulder at the shinigami behind him. Yes, this one was definitely better.
~The shape of love is the same as your heart is
it doesn't matter who you are
so tell me my heart is the same as yours is.~
30.10.2014