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Alexis Davis woke up to a strange and foreign feeling. It had been so long since she had felt this way that she almost didn't recognize it. She couldn't even find the words to describe how she felt. Intellectually, she knew that words like joy, happiness, elation, and excitement were appropriate but none seemed to do justice to her feelings. Her feelings seemed bigger than each of these, even all of them together. In truth, she felt that she had finally come home after a long and arduous journey and she never wanted to leave again.
She turned over to look at the source of her feelings. His breathing was smooth and even and she felt the warmth of his body as her shoulder gently touched his. Neil was an exquisite lover. She knew that from their last encounter but although that had been wonderful and passionate, it had been marred by the shadow of the dark cloud looming over them. Last night had been a revelation. She had never had a man so focused on giving her pleasure and so attuned to her needs. Neil seemed to know her inside and out and it was incredibly addictive, in and out of bed.
As if he could sense her thoughts, Neil slowly opened his eyes and looked directly at her. Alexis felt herself turning red, as if Neil could read her illicit thoughts.
"I love that you can still blush," He husked, smiling, his hazel eyes gleaming with laughter.
"If you could read my thoughts, you would blush too," Alexis answered softly. Gently, because she couldn't resist touching him, she softly stroked a hand down his chest, gently smoothing the soft curly hair.
"How is it that you can look so beautiful in the morning?" Neil asked, huskily.
Alexis looked at him suspiciously. "Who's writing your script?"
"Excuse me?" Neil drawled, lifting an eyebrow.
"That is what every woman everywhere wants to hear from her lover when she wakes up."
"Lover," Neil said softly, "I like how that sounds. I just call it like I see it, Alexis."
"I like the beard, by the way, very much," Alexis smiled. "You're my first beard , you know. Why did you decide to grow it?"
Neil groaned as her fingers stroked down his chest, moving lower. "Actually, I didn't really decide. I just stopped shaving since I didn't have to go to the office. It was pure laziness, and as you can see, the hair likes my body. It didn't take long. Now that I know you like it, I won't think of shaving it."
Neil reached over and pulled Alexis into his arms, taking her lips with his own, pulling her up on top of him as he proceeded to make love to her with urgency and passion.
Alexis came up the stairs with two steaming mugs of coffee. Neil had dozed off after their latest bout of lovemaking. She sat down at the edge of the bed and begin to massage his feet. Last night, as she had massaged his feet and other areas of his body, Neil had moaned his satisfaction in a completely sexy way. Now, he slowly opened his eyes and looked at her intensely.
"What?" Alexis asked.
"I was just thinking..."
"Oh no!" Alexis smiled, thinking of their conversation in New York. Neil laughed, on the same page immediately.
"No, it's a good thing. Since Joanna died, I have always woken up with this sadness inside me. It eased up a little after our encounter in the elevator but this morning something has replaced it."
"And what would that be?" asked Alexis, her eyes brimming with tears. Whenever Neil mentioned Joanna with such love and sadness, Alexis was transported back to the elevator listening to his pain and feeling her heart breaking for this beautiful, kind man who had lost his daughter.
"Before I tell you that, there's one problem."
Alexis abruptly stopped rubbing his feet and asked in consternation, "And what would that be?"
"You're too far away, Alexis."
Alexis breathed a sigh of relief, as she said, "that is easily and oh so happily remedied." She quickly lay down in bed beside him, one leg over his, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his chest. "Is this better?" she asked huskily. Neil pulled her in even more tightly, as if she could not be close enough. She had only just realized that Neil loved to cuddle. They had not had time when they had woken up after their first night together since they had to be at the hearing. "So, now that I'm here, what has replaced your sadness?"
Neil smiled down at her. "i will always miss Joanna and think of her with love and regret. But part of the sadness I carried every day was my guilt. I made a decision to atone for Joanna's death by devoting myself to helping others with addiction issues and helping others, like Kristina, to escape cults. I gave up on happiness for myself because I thought that was all I deserved. Until," Neil paused and took a deep breath, "I began to fall in love with you."
Alexis stilled, her breath caught in her throat. This was the first time either of them had said that word. "Oh..." Alexis breathed, "Neil, I have been falling in love with you from the first moment we met at Charlies, when you looked at me as if I was some crazy woman and then within minutes, you began to look at me as if, well as if..." she trailed off.
"As if I wanted to make love to you right then and right there, but instead asked you out to dinner?" Neil smiled, his eyes glistening with tears. "Alexis, when I woke up this morning, for the first time since Joanna died, instead of sadness, I felt this huge tide of love and gratitude for you. You know I'm not a sentimental person given to emotional, flowery speech, but I wanted you to know how I felt."
Alexis had never received such a beautiful, more heartfelt and honest declaration of love from any of her former lovers. Tears running down her face, Alexis had no words. But she was able to show Neil how she felt, over and over again.