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They return to Fujian. Return to Pangzi, who had held down the fort for them, waiting for their return.
They don’t talk about Zhang Qiling’s equivalent of a breakdown. They don’t talk about Wu Xie’s words on top of the mountain at Medog. The distance between them was simultaneously non-existent and vast, churning with unspeakable things that could never be sealed or crossed.
Yet somehow, they still complimented each other like two hands, tacit understanding spinning delicate, non-verbal threads over the chasm between. A gossamer layer woven from denial and sheer exhaustion hid the holes and the edges, so that they could keep on going. Keep on moving. When they walked through the gate of their home in Rain Village they were crushed into a bear hug, and Pangzi’s voice vibrated through their bodies. “Took the two of you long enough! You fucking idiots! Never again, never again.” And something finally clicked into place for between them; the last brick carefully placed in a foundation that threatened to crumble with the slightest pressure. But here, crushed together with Wu Xie in Pangzi’s arms the last of the tension disappeared, doubts falling away into the chasm, replaced with bright joy. Zhang Qiling looked over to Wu Xie only to meet Wu Xie's unwavering gaze, eyes so gentle, a wide grin full of happiness. And oh; he was at home, with the two most important people in his life.
He was at peace.
…
“Xia Zi left about a week back, said he wanted to go somewhere a bit more modern,” Pangzi spoke, setting down plates of food on the dining table. Nodding in response, Wu Xie dug into the dishes with gusto while he took careful bites. “Eat more! The two of you look like twigs. I told you this before; you can’t survive on vegetables and tofu. Meat is the food of our people.”
Wu Xie looked up from his bowl, tears threatening to fall, “I have missed meat so much!” and shoveled more pork into his mouth. Zhang Qiling was silent, but his choice of food leaned towards the stewed pork and braised duck, chopsticks skipping over the vegetables.
“So, you guys sorted your stuff out?” Pangzi asked with deliberate casualness, between gorging on food and beer. Wu Xie froze for a brief second before continuing to shove food in his mouth, avoiding either of their eyes.
Setting down his chopsticks on the wooden table, Zhang Qiling looked at Pangzi, and answered the question. “Yes, we sorted it out.” Wu Xie almost choked on the pork, swinging his head around to gape at him, stunned that he actually answered the question. Pangzi’s brows rose, glancing at Wu Xie then back to him, and then took a long gulp of his beer. “As long as it is sorted, and we are not staging a re-enactment of a romantic k-drama. I cannot deal with that shit again.”
The atmosphere after that was pensive, careful – fragile. Near the end of dinner, Pangzi remembered his task. “Oh yeah, Xiao Hua asked whether we wanted to head to Shanghai; since he hadn’t seen us in ages.”
Wu Xie looked thoughtful, and after a few seconds nodded, “Yeah, let’s. I haven’t seen Xiao Hua in nearly a year.”
…
Shanghai, as always, was the bright, busy star of human technology and modernity. The joint Xie and Huo head office was located in the Shanghai World Financial Center; a towering glass skyscraper, suppressing all other buildings in its proximity. It embodied the presence of its masters. “How the hell did Hua Ye get two floors in this building?” Pangzi indignantly huffed, as he punched in level 88. Wu Xie shrugged, pushing a hand through his hair, “Something about a bet and an old man who liked Chinese opera. The details are sketchy and Xiao Hua is staying tightlipped, but rumor has it that the Shanghai branches of Google and E&Y were pissed.” As much as people forgot, Xie Yu Chen wasn’t just a pretty face who could murder you, but also one of the richest people in the world whose hobby included regularly pissing off international conglomerates.
They exited the elevator and arrived on level 88, escorted by one of Xiao Hua's personal aides directly to his office. They walked across the floor; an open space design, cubicles stacked adjacently, managers, and executive offices against one side of the wall. Giant glass windows on the other side of the office floor allowed in the natural sunlight. The view alone was worth a pretty mint. The three of them attracted curious looks; purely because none of them were really dressed for a business meeting. Zhang Qiling was pretty sure that their boots had tracked in mud across the gleaming polished marble floors. The aide firmly knocked on the door, and Xiao Hua’s muffled voice came through, letting them know he was free.
The aide opened the door and the three entered the large brightly lit office. Xiao Hua had already stood up from behind his large desk, moving towards them with open arms. He gave Pangzi a half hug, a nod towards him, and a full-body hug with Wu Xie.
"It has been way too long," Xiao Hua said voice uneven, laden with unsaid things. He looked at all three of them, right hand still on Wu Xie's shoulder. "Come, we must have dinner together. Xiuxiu won't be able to make it, unfortunately. She is currently overseas on business."
…
They ended up in a restaurant with no signage, highly exclusive if the careful inspection of Xiao Hua’s steel grey card was any indication. From the outside, it looked like a decrepit warehouse but the inside was highly modern. Grey polished concrete floors and walls offset by extremely comfortable high back couches, and carefully placed green plants around the edges of the walls and between patrons. They were led to the second floor where a private room awaited. Xiao Hua as usual was the consummate host; he avoided the pitfalls in conversation, not asking about what they did during those months of broken communication and radio silence. Halfway through dinner, Hei Xiazi joined them without any explanation as to how he was here or how he even managed to get into the place without a reservation. After that, the volume of alcohol consumed went up exponentially.
The depth of the night found them a Karaoke; discovered by Pangzi who kept playing with the remote buttons that controlled the temperature, lighting, and ambient music playing in the room. Coincidently, Pangzi had pressed a button that rolled up one side of the wall and behind it voila a shiny Karaoke machine. “Xiao Hua! You should have said something about this!” Pangzi delightedly shouted. Xiao Hua simply gave a small smile at his antics and continued typing on his phone. After that, it was a cacophony of shouting and fighting over the song selection controls. Pangzi and Wu Xie ended up in a harmonized screeching with different pitches while Xiazi laughed his ass off. Xiao Hua smirked, taking sips of his scotch while scrolling through his phone. Zhang Qiling leaned back into the red couch and observed the insanity. Wu Xie was perfect; laughing and joking, vibrant, moving like he always had.
There was no place for doubts.
At the end of the night, Xiazi and Xiao Hua had to haul a drunken Pangzi along while Zhang Qiling hefted a stumbling Wu Xie onto his back. Wu Xie’s arms automatically wrapped on his neck as he secured his arms under Wu Xie’s knees. The last thing they needed was for a plastered Wu Xie to wriggle free and slam his head against the pavement. Wu Xie didn’t fight, instead resting his head on his shoulder, trying to melt into his back. On the slow trek back to the hotel, Wu Xie softly hummed, always off-pitch. Something familiar, something he had heard of before; a tune on the edge of his memories -a woman's voice humming to a baby- but it was just a flash, then gone. The warmth and weight of Wu Xie's body pressed tightly against him.
It was a good night.
...
They spent a week in Shanghai, missed Xia Zi’s departure, and caught up with Xiao Hua a few more times. Each time Xiao Hua saw them he relaxed a bit more, the tension and fear he carried about them, about Wu Xie slowly fading. Zhang Qiling understood the need to be sure, to constantly check that Wu Xie was still there. To check the figure in the periphery of their eyes hadn’t vanished when they looked away.
The last night in Shanghai, Xiao Hua invited them to his home, a penthouse stripped of anything personal. The interior design being more suited to the cover of architectural magazines than a home. "This is a place to sleep, not home," Xiao Hua said, taking a sip of wine. "Where are the three of you headed now?"
"We are going to head to Beijing- Er Shu summons me," Wu Xie snickered. Xiao Hua nodded, looking at them with a small smile. "Well, visit more. Don't be strangers." Don’t disappear off the face earth again. Trust us more.
"We won't." Wu Xie grinned back.
…
They land in Beijing in the morning; the air cold and heavy with pollutants as usual. Donning face masks, they were greeted by a fleet of shiny black cars at the entrance of the airport. Standing next to the middle car was one of Er Shu’s followers, the man was perfectly groomed, not a single hair out of place.
"Welcome back, Xiao Sanye. Er Ye is waiting for you," the man opened the back door of the car for Wu Xie.
"I'll sit in the front with you!" Pangzi grinned. As Wu Xie slid through the opened door, Zhang Qiling followed into the backseat of the car. Wu Xie smiled at him as they settled into the leather seats. The drive was long and winding; slowly leaving behind the smog-covered city and the crush of humanity. The further they drove, the fewer signs of humanity there were, till eventually it was just the long winding road through green forests. They arrived at Er Shu's estate in the Shijingshan District around mid-morning, making good time considering the time wasted in Beijing traffic. The estate was built amid the dense forest, on the side of sprawling hills.
Security dressed in well-tailored black suits, lined up in the hallways and entry points. They bowed as the four of them made their way into the main building; a two-story sprawling mansion reminiscent of the Republic era architecture. They bypassed the double staircase in the main entry, guided to the left where Er Shu’s study was located. The man paused at the study door, looking at Wu Xie. "Xiao Sanye, Er Ye would like to see you alone."
Wu Xie raised an eyebrow, looked back at Zhang Qiling and Pangzi. Considering the situation for a few seconds, the two of them nodded to Wu Xie. Worst case scenario they could go through the windows, take down a few security personnel, take their weapons, and make a run for it. Er Shu wouldn’t use deadly force against the three of them. For a brief second, Zhang Qiling could see the cold amusement lurking behind Wu Xie’s eyes before melting into gentleness as if it had never existed. Wu Xie nodded back, before turning to the man and shrugging in compliance.
The man knocked on the study door and they heard Er Shu's voice telling them to come in through the thick wood door. Wu Xie entered the office alone. The man stood guard in front of the door, facing Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. Pangzi wandered around, softly whistling at some of the estimated prices the paintings on the wall that have cost to acquire. He leaned against the wall, closed his eyes and waited Tension brimmed under his icy exterior, but it wasn’t fear about Wu Xie’s safety. It was what Wu Xie could do to Er Shu if he pushed too hard.
They could hear muffled voices that rose and fell. About half an hour later the door to the study opened and Er Shu and Wu Xie walked out of the room. Er Shu had his right arm around Wu Xie's shoulder. It seemed whatever they had talked about had ended on a positive note. At least nobody was making threats. Or unconscious.
"Pangzi, Xiaoge," Er Shu greeted them with a nod and smile. "Come, join us for lunch and you can tell me what the three of you have been up to!"
Lunch was a relatively quiet affair. Wu Xie restraining the conversation to safe grounds; the stock market, what new tombs have been discovered, the fucking weather. Just not the past year. Just not the communication blackout.
"You might be interested, that little brat Li Cu and his two friends are making some big splash on the scene. So far they have skated through some dicey situations," Er Shu said, grin on his face as he recalled the three kids who was determined to replicate the same insane antics as the three men sitting opposite him.
"Of course they would," Wu Xie said in resigned delight, after a pause, as if trying to place the name to a half-forgotten story. Zhang Qiling fingers whitened, grip tightening.
Pangzi laughed, unrestrained, "Those three little shits were bound to cause a ruckus."
Zhang Qiling had met Li Cu a few years after he returned from the Gate. The young man had very much not been a fan. Truth be told Li Cu still didn't think much of him much, a streak of protectiveness of Wu Xie that only made Zhang Qiling like the child more. Li Cu is a firecracker, smart as a whip, and so very fearless. The young man had reminded him of Wu Xie at the beginning of it all.
The three left late in the afternoon. Er Shu, like so many men used to wielding power, tended to dislike things that didn't fall within his plans or control. Wu Xie wasn't going to get married anytime soon, if ever. And if they had stayed any longer Er Shu was going to run out of patience at the lack of answers. At the not so innocuous dodging. Er Shu hugged Wu Xie close, hand on his nape, and whispered words for Wu Xie alone. When Er Shu stepped back his eyes were red, but a smile had lightened his face. Zhang Qiling distantly wondered just how much Er Shu knew. The man held both trust and secrets close to his heart.
They stayed in Beijing for three more days. He ignored the messages from Zhang Rishan, and they left for their home without any interruptions from Er Shu or the Zhang Family.
…
The seasons passed, and the three of them continued their idyllic life in Rain Village. Making occasional trips to see Xiao Hua and Xiuxiu, visit Er Shu, and check up on Wu Shanju. In return friends came to see them whenever they were near; Xia Zi would randomly appear, stay for a few days and then disappear without warning. Pangzi had mentioned that this must be what it felt like to own an onerous cat.
Each year the three of them would pack up and leave the sleepy village for three to four months. They explored new tombs, helped Li Cu and his crew out of trouble a few times, and made sure that they didn't lose their edge. With each year, with each trip, it became increasingly obvious that age had Pangzi in its clutches. Wu Xie seemed to have stopped aging altogether; he was also much faster and stronger than he used to be. Pangzi didn't comment on the changes. Sometimes Zhang Qiling wondered at the words that Pangzi kept unsaid to ensure that their little family continued to function. Ensure the foundation did not crumble under the chasm of secrets and monsters. He had no room to criticize Pangzi for his silence. He had been silent since Medog; had chosen a path, no matter where it may lead.
Four years down the track, Pangzi rescued an archaeology professor called Li Bingxue on her first tomb exploration. There had been blood corpses and several dead colleagues by the end of it. Besides the initial panic, the professor had been the only one who kept her cool under pressure; instead of questioning every action that the three of them took she followed their instructions. Potentially the only reason she out of everyone had made it out relatively unscathed.
Somehow through that hell of an experience, Li Bingxue and Pangzi ended up bonding and exchanging contact details. They messaged each other with random things, making each other laugh, talking about things that only two age-appropriate adults who lived through the same decades could. Their chats online slowly evolved into short trips together. Wu Xie watched with gentle amusement and teasing, but everyone could tell he was delighted for Pangzi, at having finally found someone. There were no lies or pretenses, Li Bingxue knew what Pangzi did. Hard to miss when their first meeting starred Pangzi decapitating a blood corpse to save her. A year of their developing relationship, and the next thing they knew Pangzi was contemplating proposing.
"I think it might be too soon," Pangzi grumbled as he paced back and forth across the living room. Wu Xie looked heartily entertained; kept throwing sunflower seeds at Pangzi every time he walked past him.
"Are the two of you even listening?" Pangzi shouted in exasperation. Zhang Qiling nodded from where he was leaning against the wall, and Wu Xie snorted in mirth. "Yes, we are listening. We have been listening to you worry yourself for the past half an hour."
Wu Xie walked up to Pangzi, clasped him around the shoulders, and looked at him in the eye. "Look, we all know you love her, and she at the very least likes you enough to have introduced you to her family. Hell, she is asking you to visit her family during Chinese New Year in a month. Of course, she is interested in you and wants to marry you. She is inviting you to join her and her family for New Years'. Get your act together and propose to her!"
Pangzi looked shocked and then crazy, his face breaking out in a large grin. "Fuck yes!"
…
"She will say yes, and the two of you will be ridiculously happy for the rest of your lives," Wu Xie whispered into Pangzi's ear, hugging the man close. "You deserve to be happy, and any spawn you have will be glad to have you as a father." Pangzi sniffled, pulled back, and gave Wu Xie a watery smile. “What the fuck are you being so emotional for? I'll be back in a month and you will be the best man!" Pangzi grabbed both of them into a hug. "You guys are my best friends, and I'm so fucking happy."
Zhang Qiling silently apologized to Pangzi.
...
The two of them started cleaning up the place not long after Pangzi left to see his girlfriend for New Years'. Zhang Qiling has been counting down the seconds, for eleven months now. He delayed for as long as he could, but the silent demand in his mind was getting louder; he had to leave soon to make it on time.
Wu Xie looked at him blankly one morning, not a week after Pangzi had left, before taking a long deep breath. "When do we head out?" Wu Xie asked resignedly.
"A week at most," he breathed. He wished it could be different. Wished they had more time; wished this would never happen again in Wu Xie's lifetime. But it was never his choice to make, it never mattered what he wanted. Wu Xie nodded, finished his tea, and silently started packing for cold weather.
They left Rain Village three days later. They covered up all the furniture with plastic sheets; Wu Xie left a letter for Pangzi on the dining room table. Wu Xie locked the door of their home and the two of them left their home.
…
They don't delay. They drive to Fuzhou and take the flight direct to Changchun. Zhang Qiling thought about calling their friends, but then what would he say? What could he say that hasn't been already been said. He thought about leaving Wu Xie back in Fujian, but Wu Xie didn't give him a choice, trailing behind him every step of the way. They arrived in Changchun and took the train directly to Changbai Mountain. On reaching their destination, instead of resting in one the hotels filled with tourists, they kept on going.
Like they could outrun the coming devastation. Like they were running to their salvation, not their doom.
They were retracing the same steps they had two decades ago. They didn't sleep, the path to their goal was dangerous but this was almost a habit now for the two of them.
Six hours in, freezing cold wind blasted against them, snow distorting their vision. It was becoming too dangerous to keep on going. They cleared out a space to set up for camp. Beyond the most basic forms of communication, they hadn't spoken to each other in over a day. Zhang Qiling couldn't really formulate anything, his thoughts rushing at the speed of light. The outcome was clear. The same decision twenty years ago circled back and blocked their path now. There was no other choice. There was no other option.
A mug of hot tea appeared in front of his eyes. "Drink this before your body follows your face and become an ice block," Wu Xie sipped his hot tea. He carefully sampled the tea, breathing in the hot fumes, and tried not to think. Just enjoy these moments with Wu Xie, enjoy the uncomplicated silence.
"I keep on waiting for you to either ask me more questions or knife me in my sleep," Wu Xie said evenly. Zhang Qiling froze, hands tightening around his mug, and kept his eyes on his tea. "I'm glad you didn't. I cannot offer you answers you'd want to hear, and I really don't enjoy being knifed," Wu Xie shrugged. "I'm glad for these past few years. I have craved it for so long that I don't even remember what it was like not desiring you close to me."
Shock rippled through him as his eyes snapped to Wu Xie’s face. He knew those words to be true, but he never anticipated the unflinching certainty with which Wu Xie spoke them. Wu Xie smiled gently at him, "Don't look so shocked, I don't want to waste another ten years not having said anything. A person only has so many ten years," a half-amused smile stretched his face. "Well, unless they are you and I, then they have too many ten years to count," Wu Xie let out a sigh. "I wish you trusted me like before, it isn't your fault, but I would have liked the last few years to have been uncolored by the doubts you can't truly bury," a long thoughtful pause and then a careless shrug. "Well, you trusted me enough for certain things."
Something was wrong. He felt sluggish. He couldn't think properly or move. His body felt as if it was being anchored down by rocks. Disbelief, devastation, despair roared through his system as he realized – muffled under an exhaustion dragging his bones to the earth. He was so tired; the mug slipped from his hand and hit the ground with a soft thump. His eyes widened as he turned towards Wu Xie who looked so remote and distant.
Wu Xie poisoned his tea and now it was too damn late. It was getting harder to keep his eyes open. He tried, but his body had no strength. He couldn't even muster the energy to bite his tongue in the hopes of waking himself up. Finally losing the battle his body began to slide sideways. Before he could hit the ground he was surrounded by soft warmth, Wu Xie whispered his mind. Fingers gently brushed through his hair on his forehead, Wu Xie's soft murmurs carried to his ears.
"Zhang Qiling, you must live a life full of happiness and joy. We owed you a debt. We will be even very soon. I know I'm not what you wanted me to be, what I was, but no matter which me, know that you have always been the most important thing to me," his breath shuddered and a long pause filled the screaming silence. "Xiaoge, I love you." A soft gentle touch of lips against his forehead and then he couldn't feel anything else as darkness swallowed him completely.
…
He woke up inside their tent, he was wrapped up in the warmth of a sleeping bag, and for a brief second all was well with the world. Then reality struck. He scrambled out of the tent uncaring of the mess he caused. He snatched his backpack, his black saber, and ran. He has made the journey countless times. He knew the fastest route to reach beneath the ground, into the cavernous chamber. He couldn't have been asleep for more than eight hours. Wu Xie had a head start over him, but he knew the fastest way; the safest way. He ran faster than he ever had, throwing caution to the wind, trusting his body to avoid the dangers. He slid, fell, got bruised and bloodied but didn't slow down. He kept on moving.
He knew Wu Xie was right, these years seemed beautiful and perfect but deep down he still doubted. Couldn't let go of the betrayal he had committed, that he had fallen for this facsimile when the real Wu Xie most likely had died years ago. Except he doesn't know what the truth was anymore. The Wu Xie he spent these past years with was real and beautiful, wasn't just a copy, a fake. This man he had spent these years with was a flesh and blood person, with a horrible sense of humor, who was kind and gentle, but could be so coldly cruel and uncaring, but never towards those he loved, never towards him. And at the end of it, his heart couldn’t choose, didn’t care if the Wu Xie he had spent these years with was real or not, because Zhang Qiling loved this Wu Xie as fiercely, as deeply as he had loved the Wu Xie of before.
He ran, lungs burning, lead legs screaming and he kept running. Hi heart thundered in his chest and his mind howled at him to move faster. He climbed down the entry to the depth of hell, tried to go faster, feeling the time nearing. The counter ever closing onto zero. He doesn't know how long he had been moving but finally, finally, he made it into the chamber. There was the tomb, guarded by the monstrous giants that slept, and between it and the slight figure in front of the Bronze Gate, an army of undead waited.
He stumbled towards the figure, ignored the waiting dead. He pushed through with no fear. He has been here before; he knew what to expect, what was to come. It felt like an eternity until he made it to the only other living human in the cavernous chamber. He fell forward till his head thudded against Wu Xie's back, arms tight around Wu Xie's waist. He felt Wu Xie's body tense and then relax as he realized who it was that held onto him with such desperation.
"Wu Xie," he said, his throat burned, his body almost at its limit. And he was so deeply glad he had made it on time. "Don't leave me alone," his head felt light and he was so tired, "Together." It was a prayer, a plea. The moment stretched forever in a few seconds, and then he felt hands tightly grasp his own.
"Together," Wu Xie said.
The sounds of a thousand horns blasted through the caverns, vibrating through his bones, and the Bronze Gate opened.
Zhang Qiling had never been so at peace.
.
.
.
.
.
CODA.
The doorbell rang, and Xiao Ying knew she wasn't meant to answer the door on her own. But she was eight now, she was a big girl, and she wasn't home alone. Daddy was in the kitchen, but the radio was on really loud and this wouldn't be the first-time daddy didn't hear the doorbell.
The doorbell rang again. Xiao Ying decided. All heroes had to be brave and made choices to do the right no matter the consequences- that's what daddy said in the stories he told, about him and his two friends. The three of them went on adventures and did awesome stuff. When Xiao Ying got older, she was going to find herself two best friends and they were going to go on adventures together.
Xiao Ying hopped off the couch and made her way to the door. She unlocked the front door but didn't unlock the screen door. She wanted to be a hero, not an idiot.
"Hello!" A pretty and slightly plump-faced uncle looked at her from behind the screen door. He sounded surprised but also excited as he punched the person next to him. Xiao Ying looked at the silent man next to the uncle, dressed in black and extraordinarily handsome. After a second of concentration, realization struck and she shouted in excitement. "DADDY!"
The sound of a pan crashing to the floor, a flood of bad words, and then her daddy was out of the kitchen with the kitchen cleaver in hand.
"Sweetie, what is it?!"
"Daddy, look! It is your friends from the photos!" Xiao Ying shouted excitedly, hands waving to emphasize her point.
The cleaver clanged onto the floor, as Daddy saw the two men standing behind the screen door.
…ENDO…