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One of the great things about living in an underground Bunker in the middle of rural Kansas is that nobody knows they're out there. That means no mortgage payments, no HOA breathing down their necks about an unmown lawn, no nosy neighbors with too much time on their hands taking note of their comings and goings. It's awesome.
One of the shitty things about living in an underground Bunker in the middle of rural Kansas is that nobody knows they're out there. So when the local kids decide that the "vacant" lot behind the "abandoned" power station is the perfect place to congregate and drink and fuck around and set off fireworks every night for a goddamn week, the Winchesters don't have much recourse. There's no simple way to say, "Hey youngsters, you're blowing shit up and yelling about it, like, directly over our beds. That's right, the beds where we sleep in our secret underground Bunker full of magical artifacts and a couple powered-down angel types. So anyway, could ya keep it down, or at least tie it up every night by eleven?"
Left to his own devices, Dean would deal with these aggravations by shoving a pillow over his head and cursing up a shitstorm but otherwise just waiting for the kids to move on to a different party spot, or at least run out of money for explosives. His husband, however, is pissed and only getting pissed-er as each night's pyrotechnic festivities commence. Cas hasn't been able to smite people for years, but Dean's starting to worry he might spontaneously regain the ability through sheer force of rage.
"Fireworks have a profound effect on wildlife, Dean," he's ranting as the eighth successive night of explosive drunken bullshit kicks into full swing above their heads. "Birds and small mammals abandon their nests in fear, sometimes becoming too disoriented to return to their homes. The babies they leave behind face starvation or fall victim to predators. Deer and other animals flee into roadways and can be injured or killed by passing cars." He's pacing now, arms windmilling as he tries to illustrate the pervasiveness of the danger. "The debris left behind from fireworks can entangle animals, and poison them if they ingest it. That's not to mention the increased risk of fires, Dean. The prairie behind the Bunker is drying out this time of year. A fire could spread for miles, endangering nearby houses. Those children are being reckless, selfish, and heartless. And what about-"
Dean wraps his arms around Cas from behind and holds him tight for a minute. "I get it, babe. What can we do about it? Any ideas?"
It takes them the better part of a night in the library, but they manage to devise the perfect spell. If the local teens of Lebanon suddenly find that they can't so much as watch a sparkler burn without feeling an urgent need to poop, well, score one for the local wildlife.
