Archive of Our Own

The airport floor feels sticky, and Ten doesn’t even want to begin to know why; he would kindly like to leave the throw-up bags provided on the plane unused when he gets on the aircraft. He isn’t late for the flight, so why he’s running across the duty-free shopping is a mystery, even to Ten himself. Eventually, it’s time for boarding, and lots and lots of people crowd by the gate. Ten nervously taps his foot against the floor. He doesn’t really fancy crowds. 

While onboard the plane, he finds his seat almost right away and quickly makes himself comfortable, it’s a window seat, after all.

“No fucking way.” A voice says, and Ten doesn’t even know who this person is addressing. That is before he looks up to see him. 

Whatthefuck? 

Nonononono.

No fucking way, indeed.

Ten can’t believe his eyes at first, out of all the people in the world. Out of all the people that could sit next to him on a five-hour charter flight to the Bahamas, it’s him; The man Ten despises the most. And he can’t help but feel dizzy when he sees a face that is so familiar yet so strange; A face he thought he was done with.

“Hi, Ten, you look better than ever,” he greets him with a sly grin, and Ten stares out the window without answering him. Instead, he observes those guys, who look so tiny as they load the luggage into the aircraft he’s sitting in and curses himself for the eleventh time. Not Johnny. 

Now, who is Johnny? Shh, we’ll get there, promise.

He tries, he honestly tries to be positive, just this one time, but he can’t, it’s impossible. Johnny is the Monday of his fucking life, that’s why Ten gags at just the thought of having to share airspace with this guy for even a few hours, his eyes already tearing up. Johnny says something along the lines of, “you didn’t change one bit,” to which Ten replies, “wearing Hawaii-shirts isn’t a ‘change’” referring to Johnny’s superiority complex. Johnny hasn’t changed either, Ten promises himself, to protect his own self-confidence. 

Like a glimmer of light in a sad world, a face pops behind the seat in front of Ten. 

A round face framed by dark but golden bangs is now looking directly at the two with intrigued eyes saying, “What’s going on here?” It’s a boy, a kid, or a teenager to be more precise. Headphones are resting around his neck as he looks at them stupidly for not replying right away. “Well?”

He leans on the top of the backrest and slowly tilts his head to eye them both.

“So what happened is-” Ten starts but gets interrupted by Johnny’s much deeper and grounding voice.

“I’m stuck with this son of a bitch for god knows how long.”

“Son of a bitch? If so, you are the son of the devil!”

“C’mon the devil isn’t even that mean.”

“Yeah, cause you are worse.”

The boy’s eyes keep darting between the two as he watches them exchange insults.

“I never even did anything!”

“You called me a brat!”

“Yeah, an-”

“Wowowow, hold on -” The boy reacted, cutting them off, leaving Ten glaring at him with big eyes.

Johnny let out a huge breath, gesturing towards the teen. “Thank you, I’m telling you he’s overreacting-”

“-No! You called him a what?” The boy finished with a snap to his words, pointing directly at Johnny before turning his finger towards Ten, then back at the taller of the two. He looks puzzled and brings his hand up to scratch his chin before his eyes widen. “The B-word!?”

He says it like it’s forbidden, shall not be said, or were to curse him if he uttered the word, and it makes Ten chuckle.

“Oh my god yes, the B-word!” Ten moaned in agreement, lifting his back from the seat and sitting up straight.

“That’s very low, not gonna lie,” He shakes his head in disappointment and turns to face Johnny. “What the fuck, man?” 

The ‘fuck’ he has no problem of saying, however. Johnny blinks a few times, very slowly, before letting out both a confused and nervous laughter. He looks away, leans back in his seat, and relaxes his tensed-up posture.  This is the first time Johnny gives up before him, and Ten has never felt so thankful.

The boy reaches out his hand, allowing Ten to shake it while introducing himself. “I’m Donghyuck. Now spill the tea about mister six foot.”

Their feud goes way back; to high school, senior year indeed. Ten has to focus all his brain-power on recovering the repressed memories of Johnny Seo. 

It started when Ten made taking the school bus a part of his routine. His stamina only grew worse and worse, and he no longer felt like walking. It was laziness at its finest and he would listen to some shitty music that everyone on the bus could hear from his headphones as he chewed gum loudly, Ten was like that.

But on that one particular day, Ten had left his headphones at his house, and only hearing the sounds of the engine and some girl’s chattering was making him incredibly annoyed. He sat in the back alone and didn’t even bat an eye when a guy from the sports team Ten didn’t know the name of sat down next to him. The smell of cologne instantly hit him and he chewed on his gum with a little more aggression, just to avoid snapping. The dude was tall , and he placed his own bag in his lap to look for something when the bus took a sharp turn, causing the guy to lose his balance and falling way too far into Ten’s personal space. Ten got pushed rather vigorously on to the window by the sports guy’s body weight, and that was it for him.

“What the fuck is your issue? First, you walk in here smelling like a goddamn Axe commercial, giving me a headache, then you decide to sit your ass next to me. After all that, you manhandle me into the fucking window!” Ten shouted, almost spitting his gum out in the process. He noticed how everyone had turned in their seats and was now looking at them. The guy looked shocked as ever before his face relaxed.

“Wouldn’t have sat next to you if I knew you were such a brat,” he answered while shrugging his shoulders. Sure, Ten had been called the B-word before, several times , actually. But not in front of the entire school bus, on a Tuesday fucking morning at seven o’clock by a random jock who looked like his name could be Chad. Or Brad. Speaking of names.

“You know what ? What’s your name? I need to know so I can make sure to never interact with you or anyone named the same.” 

Ten was petty, he will admit, and he grabbed his backpack to prepare an exit everyone would remember as the bus came to a stop.

He smirked from where he looked down on Ten, said; “Johnny Seo, but feel free to call me daddy.” And made sure to put great emphasis on the father part, before bursting out in mocking laughter that echoed. Ten gestured a gag with a finger in his mouth, tossed the bag over his shoulder, and walked off. What a fucking douche. Daddy? Really? His blood was practically boiling at that point, but it was only going to get worse. (Ugh, is that why he developed that daddy kink?)

“Ten, you can’t say stuff like that! I’m a minor!” Donghyuck comments.

“Sorry!”

Every time Ten would run into Johnny, he could feel anger stirring inside of him, and he saw him every day . In the cafeteria, on the bus, and even when Johnny was half-naked in the locker rooms when Ten didn’t think twice before walking in.

They went to the same school and even had a few classes together, not that Ten had noticed him before the bus incident though, he was just on the football team, no one special in his eyes, and Ten had only hooked up with maybe half of the team at that point, (one guy, it was one guy and also they just kissed). A thing to note is that Johnny wasn’t a bully, he would just constantly press Ten’s buttons, and oh boy, did he know exactly where those were. 

His best friend, Hendery, fucking laughed when he told him about Johnny.

“Why don’t you like, go to his house, and commit arson?” He suggested while shoving a snack bar into his mouth. Ten actually considered it for a moment before he shook his head, crossing one leg over the other. The classroom was anything but quiet, and the teacher who wore jeans paired with a dress had given up a long time ago. 

A paper plane flew by dangerously close to them, and Ten immediately tossed his gaze in its direction. Arson. His attention shifted back to his best friend, who was still sitting with his knee pulled up against his chest in the same position as before.

 “Yeah, no , we shouldn’t be friends,” for our own good, he wanted to add, but Hendery got the memo and threw the snack wrapper at Ten. Hendery was a strange guy. He was also a skater kid, which would explain that. He mostly spent his free time at the skatepark, thirsting over some girl who occasionally came by. Girl, yeah that doesn’t even sound right, Ten thought so too and constantly told him he was too funny to be straight. Hendery would laugh.  

Hendery was a nice fucking friend to be around. Kisses to him. They used to play video games in his basement almost every evening for hours, or at least until Ten’s mom called him and cursed him out in Thai to come home. Ten loved him, cause there was only one heterosexual Ten felt loathe towards. Cough, Johnny Seo.

Moving on to college, things changed, Ten partied, a lot, and fucking guess who happened to transfer to his college after the second year? Johnny . (Great, Ten’s life is like a drama plot.) And turns out, he didn’t dip after high school, as his other jock friends had. He almost looked like a changed person, wore berets, beige flannels, and seemed like a genuinely calmer and more mature man.  Ten didn’t want to be that guy that held onto high school drama, so he walked up to him, just to attempt to be nice, at least. They had crossed paths and Ten greeted him, with a slight smile even. Johnny had smiled back, thank god , but then he looked puzzled.

“Wait, do I know you?” He questioned while lifting his eyebrow. The campus was huge and never-ending, and Ten was on his way to English. God fucking damn English. He got lost every time.

“I’m Ten, from highschool? You used to be a dick to me?” He rushed to say, with a joking tone at that last part. “Well, maybe I was a dick too,” he added, thinking Johnny’s mind just went blank for a moment. Ten stared up at the sky to avoid awkwardness. It was plenty cloudy that day, the blue nothingness almost completely covered up by thick clouds in different shades of white and gray. Johnny looked taller if that was possible, and a few pings indicating new messages on his phone sounded from his pocket. He was thinking but got distracted, Ten could tell.

He chuckled and looked away before answering; “Sorry, I don’t remember you.”

And just like that, he disappeared again, as quickly as he came. And for a moment, Ten thought he was mistaken, that it wasn’t Johnny, but the tone of his voice still lingered in his head and yep, it was definitely him. Ten was more than shocked. It mortified him. Johnny must’ve been joking, or suffered long-term memory loss. Right? Right . He convinced himself and made his way to the lecture. 

He didn’t see Johnny for a while after that. It was a few months later, at a frat party, that they had another encounter. Ten was going to arrive a little tipsy, he decided. So he and his friends had tried mixing drinks back at the dorms, and he downed a few failed and sugary cocktails there. His friend group consisted of two dudes by the names of Taeyong and Jaehyun. Jaehyun was someone who definitely peaked in high school and had crazy rich parents but actually turned out to be pretty chill. And Taeyong was super weird, in the best way possible. Like in the Would Unironically Wear Cat Ears In Public-way-possible . But the two of them had a thing, sort of.

“Ten, do you think I have a chance with him tonight?” Taeyong ran up to him and asked with gigantic eyes just when they were on their way to the frat house. Taeyong’s breath was visible in the icy air as he spoke carefully. Winter was approaching. And he was talking about Jaehyun, who was walking just a few feet behind them, playing games on his phone. Taeyong looked back at Jaehyun, noticeably a bit nervous when he clutched tightly onto Ten’s arm, searching for approval. 

“ Honey , you spent three hours getting ready while he played Mario Kart, and I do think he likes you,” Ten promised and watched the way Taeyong’s face lit up. “Wasn’t Jaehyun straight, though?” 

Dead and soggy leaves created a carpet on campus where they walked. Long pauses of silence between sentences accompanied by Jaehyun’s heavier footsteps from not far behind the pair was all there was, except the wind’s steady grip on the trees. Ten’s nose was cold, probably red too, if he were to check. He met Taeyong’s gaze again and watched his expression shift into a slight smirk.

“Before he met me? Yeah.” 

They high-fived and Ten told him some words of encouragement before they entered the house with loud music pumping out from it. The party had already started, Ten could tell from the endless amounts of red plastic cups tossed on the lawn in front of the fraternity. Sigh, what about the environment? 

When they entered a wave of air hit their faces, hot air, alcohol scented air, college party flavored air, and it didn’t take long before Ten saw his two friends run up the stairs when they thought he wasn’t looking. They looked like a high school couple, on their way to kiss in the host’s bedroom while curious eyes try to catch a glimpse through the keyhole. Ten patted his own shoulder, Operation Taeyong getting Jaehyun’s D: successful . But then it hit him; it would likely take them a while, and he’d have to spend time at this party without them. And damn , he surely did like them, but he also missed Hendery. Being friends with a straight virgin was an experience Ten surely missed. Not that they weren’t friends still, but you know how it is. He went to a different college in a different city. They still met every few weeks, however, and Ten still FaceTimed him when he was on the toilet. He wondered how Hendery was doing. He should text him later.

Ten scanned the room for alcohol and quickly made his way over when he found it. He grabbed a big red mug and poured himself some beer, right up to the brim. And chugged it. He repeated the process until his head was plenty foggy and then squeezed himself through the mass of dancing people. The temporary dizziness didn’t last long, and he sobered up rather quickly. He should grab a soda from the kitchen, he thought.  Just when he entered it he bumped into a girl. He quickly apologized, and she assured him it was fine. He recognized her from one of his classes, but couldn’t quite pinpoint the name.

“You don’t look too good, Ten, want to join for a smoke?” She offered and gestured out the back door. Her movements were sloppy, but Ten got the point.

Ten let out a sigh of relief and said, “ Please , that is exactly what I needed.” 

They exited through the door into the backyard and it was rather dark, but Ten could make out a few people sitting in a circle on the lawn and laughing. The group silenced when the pair stood in front of them. They quickly made space for the two and one guy passed Ten the joint. He thanked him before taking a hit.

“This is Ten, he’s in my whatever class, he’s funny as hell, date him,” she slurred while hooking her arm around his neck. Ten giggled and patted her hair. She had very soft hair, he noticed, and let his hand rest in it for a little while.

The others greeted him, and he almost instantly noticed a familiar face when he lifted his gaze to look. It was Johnny; Face flushed, from what he could tell in the dark, and his eyes heavily lidded. His hair pushed back, and he was wearing a short-sleeved button-up with some weird pattern Ten’s eyes couldn’t register, (slightly unbuttoned though), and Ten had to look away. He’d glowed up, Ten really pushed himself to admit. He felt like a straight dude complimenting another dude, rightfully so though, because maybe a second or two later Johnny started making out with a girl next to him. She had introduced herself as something Ten couldn’t remember, and her hand never left Johnny’s knee. His hand, however, was now caressing her jawline as she tugged at the collar of his stupid flower-patterned shirt. Stupid Johnny and his disgusting kissing scenes in the middle of the weed circle. The motherfucker is ruining the mood. Their lips were moving together rather gracefully as the girl who invited Ten applauded and encouraged them with incoherent phrases. Ten felt a tingle make its way up his thighs and he blamed it on the pot, cause that’s what it was, he decided. Yet he couldn’t tear his eyes off her and Johnny. The kiss almost felt like his own. Thank god it was dark or else Ten’s face would’ve been shining a bright red. They must’ve stopped kissing, thankfully, because she was now resting her head in a girl’s lap.  Ten quickly searched for him with his eyes. There.  Johnny looked right at him, from where he was sitting, almost right across the circle, and ran a hand through his hair. Ten swore he almost felt a little tingle, barely noticeable, but it was there. 

“Do you guys like, know each other?” The girl who brought in Ten asked after a while of intense staring and stilling tension, pointing in between them like there would be some sort of physical connection. Ten blinked a few times and was about to answer when Johnny cut him off.

“No, why would I know him?” he answered with a stinging coldness in his voice, still keeping eye contact with Ten. “I have better taste.”

Ten squinted at Johnny in response but said nothing. A slight snicker echoed around the circle and eventually, Ten joined in as well, to keep his cool.  What a fucking asshole . Better taste, seriously ? He hit a few more times until a pleasant feeling surrounded his body. Jaehyun and Taeyong were long gone, and Ten spent the rest of the night with the stoners. Including you know who , sadly.

Not only that, but when Ten worked part-time as a yoga instructor to earn up some cash, Johnny fucking showed up at his yoga classes. He would roll in every Wednesday, dead serious, and just stare at Ten for the entire hour, still pretending to not know him. There must’ve been something seriously deranged with Johnny, Ten always thought. Who even does something like that? It really got on his nerves and he pleaded to his supervisor to let him kick Johnny out. 

Things like that kept happening throughout college, and it felt like a massive weight got lifted off of Ten’s shoulders when he graduated. Not just because of Johnny, but he played a part too. 

Ten took his yoga money and moved to the city where Hendery lived. He had missed him, honestly, and getting away from the town where he grew up felt like a turning point. There, he kept working as a yoga instructor, since the profession had stuck with him. Maybe he wanted to keep studying, go to law school, or something similar, but he needed some time. Some time to just work and hang out with his friend whom he hadn’t been close with for a while.  Hendery was the same, really. He had some dope stories from college too, and maybe he wasn’t a virgin anymore, (despite Ten’s disbelief.) But in all honesty, he was the same guy Ten knew in high school. 

It wasn’t a busy city, and Ten really liked it. He texted Jaehyun and Taeyong, asking how they were doing, even though it hadn’t been long since he moved. Jaehyun replied with a picture of the two. Great, that they’re still friends , Ten thought, but the picture followed with a text message informing him they were engaged.

“Dude, engaged? We’re like twenty-three!” he later said over the phone. Obviously he had called right when he got the text.

“I don’t know man, I think this might be it. He’s the one,” Jaehyun said with nervousness in his voice on the other end before he chuckled. Ten could feel his genuineness and almost shed a tear. Apparently they already shared an apartment. Damn , they got so far, and Ten is still a yoga instructor with his high school bestie living next to him.

“By the way, do you want to go to the Bahamas?” Jaehyun asked just when Ten was about to hang up.

“The what? ” 

“The Bahamas. I was supposed to go next week,” he explained with a tired tone.

“Okay, but why would you want me to go?” Ten questioned suspiciously. 

“I was going to meet my parents who live there, but they didn’t approve of the... you know... engagement, ” he sounded a little sad, and almost whispered the last part. Ten frowned, it pulled at his heartstrings. 

“Of course, Jaehyun. But you know I don’t have the money for that,” Ten chose his words carefully and sighed into the microphone.

“Don’t even worry about it, my parents have already paid for that ticket.” 

“Really? Are you sure? Cause that would be awesome,” he said and waited for Jaehyun’s response.

He assured him he was, and suddenly, Ten was going on a one-week charter vacation to the Bahamas. His heart still hurt a bit for Jaehyun. He can’t imagine having your own parents disapprove of your marriage. And the fact that they booked him a charter vacation. 

Ten really sucked at packing stuff. Like, what does one even bring to a vacation? Clothes: sure , phone: definitely , charger: could be necessary, and lastly an enormous pile of snacks for the flight. He stared down at the suitcase where it was lying on his living room floor. What if he had missed something? It doesn’t matter; he needs to leave now anyway, Ten thought. It was going to be pleasant, getting away for a while, and being alone too. He sure loved Hendery but he would always show up on his doorstep like a stray dog even if he had a perfectly fine home himself. Ten laughed, how was he going to survive now?

And that is Ladies and Gentlemen, how Ten ended up here. Sitting next to the person he has dreaded for years now. It must be some twisted fate, someone playing a trick on him or even a very sick joke. What are the chances? They even have seats next to each other! For a moment he thinks it could be the fault of Jaehyun, but quickly dismisses the idea; he has no reason to do something like that.

“ Damn , that’s tough,” Donghyuck confirms after Ten has ranted for maybe an hour or so, he’s listening while stuffing his mouth with chips from a small carton he’s balancing in his hand. “You’re a drug addict, a yoga teacher, and gay? Pick a struggle, the fuck.”

“I did it like three times in college!” Ten defends himself while waving both of his hands in front of him.

“Which one?!”

Ten learns that Donghyuck is traveling with his two parents, but they had ended up getting tickets for themselves in business class while he’s stuck in economics. He mostly plays a racing game on his phone while Ten tells him stories about Johnny, what adult life is all about, and very detailed theories as to why the world they live in is a simulation created by futuristic aliens living in another galaxy. He throws in a nod and a slight hum now and then, to assure Ten that he’s still listening. Donghyuck is in highschool. It still feels like yesterday , is what Ten says to that in which the younger rolls his eyes.

“Why did Johnny pretend to not know you in college?” Donghyuck is clearly invested in this story now, Ten notices.

“I still don’t know!” He whines, in which Johnny, who’s sleeping soundly beside him, opens his eyes slightly before turning around and falling into slumber again.

That is the truth. He doesn’t have a single clue. And the thing is, it wasn’t the annoying comments, or the dirty glares, or the calling each other names in highschool that got to Ten, it was the ignoring. Because that is what Ten hated; being ignored. The fact that Johnny pretended to be a stranger for several years is what made his skin crawl the absolute most. Is he still in character? Ten can’t tell. But when Johnny turns over and looks at him with soft and sleepy eyes, Ten can tell that he’s definitely not a stranger to him .

“I feel as if it’s fate, somehow,” Johnny remarks sometime when they’re about to land. Ten looks at him before ignoring him. Johnny repeats himself and Ten rolls his eyes, telling him to shut up. He truly finds Johnny repulsive.

But he can’t lie. A warm feeling surrounds him when he looks down at the clouds, forming a soft blanket underneath the plane. It feels safe, as if the plane were to crash, the clouds would catch it.

Sooner or later, they land, and the plane passes through the many layers of clouds, much to Ten’s disappointment, and is now back on steady ground. 

He gives Donghyuck a big hug and writes down his phone number in the teen’s hand. “If we don’t find each other at the hotel.” 

The ride from the airport to the hotel isn’t long, and Ten finally unlocks his door with the keycard they gave him in the lobby. He lazily leaves his suitcase by the door and kicks off his shoes. It isn’t late, but spending that amount of hours next to his long-time enemy was mentally draining. Ten feels the tiredness capture him and it doesn’t take long before he gets under the covers of the bed, putting up a fight with the tucked blanket and then falling asleep.

Morning light stings in Ten’s eyes as he wakes up, kind of late. He looks around, and can finally get a good look at the room he’s staying in. It’s a lot more luxurious than he thought, and he makes a mental note to video call Jaehyun and show him later. He must have placed himself in the bed properly yesterday because he finds himself to be neatly tucked into the sheets of the immense bed. A well-detailed bedframe climbs up against the wall behind him and several cushions lay on the bedroom bench by his feet. A few paintings dress up the light beige walls and he notices another door beside the entrance. It’s the bathroom, and Ten really feels the need to take a shower, so he does, and damn that’s a shower. Bright tube lights illuminate the enclosed space comfortably and several scented candles are placed on the counter. He should steal them, Ten thinks, and grabs the provided soap and shampoo to bring inside the shower. The shower itself is gigantic and water rains down on him like it’s coming from the entire roof. This is fancy, nothing like Ten has ever seen before.

He finishes up and wraps a fluffy white towel around his waist and exits the bathroom. An amazing view awaits him since a gigantic window reveals a turquoise sea that seems to blend in with the sky, while white sand decorates the edges of the ocean, and people are already settling down for the day. He decides to do so too, changing into swim shorts and bringing a towel down to the beach.

The water feels lukewarm on his bare feet when he first lets the small waves wash upon them, and it doesn’t take long until he can’t reach the seafloor anymore and swims. The rest of the day goes on pretty quickly, and his fingertips are pruned up when he sits down at the hotel restaurant for dinner. It almost feels a little eerie, being on a resort by yourself, while tons and tons of people around you talk and talk and continue to talk. It’s such a huge resort, Ten can make some friends. He falls asleep with anime still lighting up his computer screen and with the nightstand lamp still turned on. It feels like in college, only now he doesn’t have late night roommates who are up doing late-night activities late at night, he also can’t tell if that is a good thing or not.

He wakes up earlier the next day, feeling slightly more energized than he did yesterday while stretching out his limbs on the sheets that feel clean but he knows aren’t. He has watched those YouTube videos where they shine a black-light onto hotel bedding. It lights up like a goddamn Christmas tree. But for some reason, he can still lay comfortably on the bed while knowing it might as well be a sperm bank he’s sleeping on. He shakes off the thought, too gross.

Ten spends some time in his bed scrolling through his phone before he gets dressed and heads for breakfast. He will admit that he went a little overboard with the pancakes, but they were just so incredible. He stacks up a few more pancakes on his plate before he strolls back to his room. Lazy hands search through his still unpacked bag for his sketchbook and pencils. Ten isn’t an artist, exactly, but drawing is one of his favorite things to do. Plate in one hand, sketchbook in the other, he pushes the balcony door open with his foot and takes a seat in one of the two straw chairs. He peeps over the small fence separating his space from the neighbors, and it looks to be vacant, still. With his feet propped up on the tripod table, he begins drawing, only losing focus to stuff his mouth with bites of syrup-drenched pancake. There are only a few pages left in his sketchbook and that, he is proud of. It has taken him a while to fill it up and he will sometimes look back just to study his own improvement. Another presence fills the empty balcony next to him and Ten lets his eyes linger a while longer on his now finished drawing before he checks who this person might be. And to put it precisely, Ten’s life must be a fucking sitcom at this point, because there is no living way the person who sits down at their own balcony table is no other than Johnny fucking Seo. He has placed a mug of coffee on the table and is reading a book with his legs crossed. His gaze shoots up at Ten’s sudden gasp and he flashes a faint grin. 

“Oh! Hello there Tennie.”

Ten doesn’t even hesitate to stand up, so hastily that the chair falls back behind him, and he storms back inside. He forcefully shuts the door behind him and tosses his phone onto the king-sized bed.  Anger is boiling inside of him as one of the hotel pillows falls victim to his violent punching. He wants to laugh because it’s ridiculous, comical even, that this seems to happen every time.

Ten avoids the resort for the entire day. He tells himself it’s not because of Johnny, that would be absurd, but he knows that it is the reason. He saunters along the beach, and it is quite relaxing. He watches how children and teenagers play together in the sand while their parents are drinking cooling alcoholic beverages by the bars. Even people that are in Ten’s age range are enjoying themselves, he sighs. The sand burns at his bare feet and so he walks along the shoreline to let the water cool him off. That’s when his phone starts buzzing.

“Hello?” A small voice on the other end says.

“Hi, hi?”

“It’s Donghyck, from the plane. My parents confiscated my phone since I wouldn’t stop playing that game, that’s why I didn’t call.”

“Oh, my god! I’m happy to hear from you. I thought I scared you off.” Ten laughs, grateful to have someone to talk to again.

“Never… Hey, where are you? I’ll come and hang out if you buy me a slushie.”

Ten sends Donghyck the location after hanging up and lets his phone slide back into his pocket.

“No alcoholic drinks, Donghyck!”

He whines, “But I’m seventeen, and I won’t tell anyone!” 

“I’m pretty sure that’s a crime. Now order your slushie.” Ten dictates while the teen pouts. 

Ten orders a slushie as well, one that looks suspiciously blue with a mini umbrella stuck into it. The drink feels cold in his hand and the air conditioning gives them temporary peace as they sit at a table that is way too big for the two of them. 

Donghyuck sips his slushie when it arrives, it’s pleasantly red and several slices of strawberry decorate the contents of the glass. A lukewarm breeze from outside reaches the two of them and causes Donghyuck’s bangs to cover his eyes. The blue sky hurts to watch and so does Ten’s cheeks; he shouldn’t have skipped the sunscreen. The teen seems to be coated in it, his face shiny and a white cast around his nose is visible. Ten presses his hand against his sunburned skin, feeling it sting.

“50 SPF, have some,” Donghyuck laughs and tosses a bottle Ten’s way.

“Thanks.” Ten applies it to his face when the younger’s phone starts ringing.

“Shit! My mom is calling. I need to go!” He disappears in a second, leaving the older by the bar. 

He doesn’t stay for long, and when he steps outside again a slight water droplet hits his nose and the blinding sun gets hidden away by clouds as families gather their belongings to head inside. The rain thickens and is now creating a prickly pattern on the surface of the water as well as the sand. Good thing he didn’t leave any clothes outside, Ten thinks, and that is when it hits him. His sketchbook, his very much beloved and precious sketchbook. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Tears prickle at the outer corners of his eyes as he realizes that the rain could ruin all his work. He practically runs back to the resort to try to savor anything that might be left of it. Ten has to stop to catch his breath outside of his door, and he can feel his heart sink because the rain is intensely showering the earth at this point and it’s too late. But when he stumbles through his hotel room leaving wet footprints across the floor, he cannot see his book lying on the balcony table through the glass door. Confusion strikes him as he frantically looks for it everywhere: under the table, behind the chair inside, nope. Ten throws his gaze over at Johnny’s balcony to see that his stuff is neatly tucked away right inside of the glass door. He takes a deep breath. Fuck; he has to do this; it’s a life or death situation.

He places a nervous knock on his neighbor’s door, silently cursing under his breath. He looks around and is relieved to see vacant halls since he wouldn’t be caught fucking dead on Johnny’s doorstep. Steps approach on the other side and when the door flings open, Ten realizes he hasn’t thought of what to say.

“What a surprise to see you here,” Johnny exclaims ironically. 

Ten gives him a death glare and says. “Not right now.”

“Huh?”

“I hate to do this, but have you seen my sketchbook?” Ten feels desperation in his own voice as he gestures towards the balcony, “I had it earlier but then it started raining and I can’t find it.”

Johnny looks unamused and raises both eyebrows as he folds his arms together.

“Please, Johnny.” Ten nearly begs.

Johnny tells him to wait right there before he disappears into his own hotel room and returns with Ten’s sketchbook in his hand. Who lets out a sigh of relief upon seeing it in one piece and immediately cries out about twenty thank-you’s. Ten hugs the book tightly like it is his long-lost lover.

“I saw you leaving it, and when it started to rain I felt like I should bring it inside, and you’re actually great at drawing,” Johnny lets go of his cocky persona for what feels like the first time in forever.

“Did you look through it?” Ten questions with suspicion and shifting his weight from one leg to the other.

“Sure did, and you have a drawing that resembles me, plenty of them, in fact.”

Ten feels heated all of a sudden, despite the cold rainwater his hair had collected now dripping down his forehead. He stares down at the ground with nervousness. It had only happened once, maybe twice, or three times max, that he ran out of inspiration when drawing. And he knows Johnny’s face too well. It must have something to do with his hatred for him (and there’s probably a scientific explanation for that). It’s just so easy to let his pen do the rest, to let his pen carefully sketch out Johnny’s defining features. Like his dark eyebrows, his hair that’s always styled perfectly and seems to fall in the right place at all times, his pinkish lips and deep eyes. Also, the way his muscles soften his edges and how tall he looks when he glances down at Ten like that, how it makes him feel so small in the best way possible. Ten feels like he’s going to fall back out in the corridor that is yet to be filled with another presence. The tension that always seems to show up unnoticed when the two of them talk is the only other one in their space.

 It’s this feeling, the one Ten can never pinpoint, the one that appeared every time Johnny denied knowing him in college. Johnny can read Ten’s mind, he’s pretty sure, and he breaks the silence by letting out an unnaturally loud chuckle.

“Are you interested in me, Tennie?” He then accuses. 

“Never.”

Johnny leans against the doorframe, reaching up to remove his bangs from his face, then letting his hand fall down beside him. He’s wearing one of those shirts again, like the one he wore at that frat party, Ten recalls. And he feels so put in place just now, like he had denied stealing from a cookie jar, with crumbles around his mouth. Only, he didn’t steal from the goddamn cookie jar. But then why does he feel this way?

“Let’s hang out tomorrow, I don’t know anyone else here and you owe me one.” 

Ten slowly nods and clutches his book even closer, turning around to leave.

“Tomorrow at four! PM!” He then shouts after Ten who waves his hand in the air as approval without turning his back.

What the fuck was that about? Ten shakes his head and closes the door behind him. His phone vibrates in the back pocket of his shorts and he pulls it up with quick hands. It’s Hendery. 

“Hendery guess what,” Ten begins. Hendery laughs at the other end since he already knows about Ten’s whole situation; that he is stuck here with his life-enemy. He goes on to explain what just happened back at Johnny’s. How he asked Ten if he was interested in him.

“Well, are you?” Hendery interrogates while sounding like he’s eating something.

“ No! I- I would’ve told you if I were!” Ten defends himself and hears his best friend snort out loudly. “But why did you call?”

“I wanted to say that-” a loud crisping noise echoes through the line “-you need to try this new Pringles flavor, it’s fucking amazing dude!”

“Was that it?”

“Yeah.”

Ten then takes, as one would say, a thoughtful shower. A shower where many thoughts are being thought. So he can think of thoughts alone.

 Yeah, that was a joke. Everyone knows what dudes do in the shower.

But after that, he actually does think, because he has plenty of things on his mind. And by plenty, he means Johnny. Johnny is plenty, he decides. He still can’t figure out why their conversation made his knees weak and head spin, out of anger, Ten, out of disgust. He feels the need to convince himself over things that had been obvious before. It is too late to call Hendery, right?

He wakes up late the next day and gets dressed rather quickly; a pair of black athletic shorts and a white t-shirt. Flip Flops when he leaves for breakfast, too. 

When the clock Ten is not paying attention to approaches four he’s on his way back to the room. Sweat is dripping down his temples and he wipes it with his shirt. Ten just need a few minutes of air conditioning and a glass of cold water and some alone time. Wasn’t he supposed to meet Johnny today? Yeah, but Johnny had probably forgotten, and unless he finds Ten personally, Ten can avoid him. His mother taught him an important thing: Never exchange numbers with your enemies because when you’re stuck with them at a resort and accidentally make plans with them, you can pretend to have forgotten about the plans. Or something like that.

Ten is proud of himself until a second pair of smacking flip flops joins him and he has to look up, a tall figure he can’t quite see because of the blinding sun is walking beside him. Ten groans, almost tripping over himself, his legs weak from the intense heat.

“It’s easy to spot you, you know,” Johnny says, taking a long sip from his own water bottle before offering it to Ten, who’s too thirsty to decline. This could contain arsenic, he thinks, but still drinks. 

“I know. I’m sexy. ” 

Johnny scoffs but doesn’t argue. “Let’s play some beach volleyball.”

“Please let me shower and change first,” Ten sighs, still walking towards the elevator to head back to his room. He will just lock the door and not come back out. Fuck beach volley.

“Great, I’ll come with,” Johnny smiles, bursting Ten’s ingenious plan.

Ten tries, he really tries to escape Johnny as he trips around in his sloppy flip flops in the hotel hallway. But Johnny has long legs, and he’s always right behind him, no matter how fast he walks.

“You’re not coming in the shower, right?” 

Ten feels the need to ask. Not that he would let him, anyway.

“ Boundaries, ” he clicks his tongue. “I’ve got them.”

“What a gentleman.”

Because he would never let Johnny in his shower.

Johnny waits on the bed, looking at his phone while Ten intensely cools his body off with freezing water. Letting it sting at his skin.  Why wasn’t Johnny being mean? He really wonders. 

They take the elevator down, and the air feels so thick that cutting through it with a knife seemed possible. Ten struggles to inhale the dense oxygen until the doors slide open and they make their way to the beach. The time Ten spent in the room showering and ‘not finding’ his clothes to make sure that he’s stuck with Johnny for as short as possible consumed a great amount of the afternoon. Darkness is eating at the blue skies and the sun is blending it all into a pleasant orange light. A light where Johnny’s skin glows and his eyes glimmer and where Ten is no longer suffering from the burning heat.

“I can’t believe I’m actually hanging out with you like this,” Ten voices while stuffing his hands in his pockets. They’re walking along the shore, not daring enough to look at each other. Are they friends or enemies? Ten doesn’t even know anymore. The beach is mostly empty by now, and the restaurants are starting to crowd instead.

“Better believe it.”

Ten is the first one to lift his gaze from the sand to face Johnny, who does the same not long after. It feels weird, so familiar yet so strange. They have known each other for many years, but they haven’t known each other for any time at all.

“Don’t look at me, ugly ass-” 

Ten gets cut off, not by words but by getting swung into the air by Johnny. He easily tosses him over his shoulder and Ten playfully hits him to get him to let go. He carries him in a direction Ten can’t process until he feels his hands getting dipped into the ocean.

“Johnny! It’s cold! Fuck you! I’m gonna kill you!” 

Johnny just laughs as he carefully lets Ten slide down from his shoulder, against his own chest until he’s placed in the water in front of him. They’re standing there, fully clothed, cell phones hopefully discarded safely on the beach, in the water. It reaches up to Ten’s rib cage and a little lower on Johnny, and he can’t stop laughing while Ten curses. Ten too bursts out in bubbly laughter after recognizing the randomness of the situation, and that is when Johnny stills, his eyes finding Ten’s.

Johnny speaks because Ten can’t seem to find the words, “Don’t you realize? We’re having fun. Together. ” 

Ten wants to deny it so badly, he really does. And he knows that if he says ‘no’, the tone of his voice will fail him, so he stays silent instead.

“What if I tell you something, Ten,” His voice is shaky and betrays his usually cold image, the playful smile he held in his last sentence has faded already. “I’ve always liked you.”

What in the fuckest fuck did Johnny just say? Ten slaps his hand over his mouth before he turns around to escape. The water stops him, however, and almost causes him to splash face first into it, like it wants him to stay. Johnny is quick to grab his arm and pull him up before that happens, and his eyes are pleading for the first time. Pleading for Ten to be serious and listen for just a moment.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s true! Ever since high school, I’ve liked you, and then we started hating each other and I didn’t know what to do.”

“Why did we?” is all Ten manages to press through his air pipes that feel as if they’ve closed up. And suddenly, the water doesn’t feel cold anymore. “Hate each other.”

He sighs and looks down at the ripples in the water caused by Ten, letting his hand glide through it by his side. He takes a deep breath and speaks. “I- I don’t know. But we did have algebra together, and one time I’m pretty sure you made out with my friend at a party. He never shut up about it, and I don’t even think he’s gay.” 

Ten chuckles. “I do remember that”

“I recall looking at you in that way before he told me about you, but when he did, I was so jealous.” Johnny splashes some water while grinning. “But I was going to ask you out that day.”

“What? When?” 

They are standing with plenty of space in between them, but Ten has never felt so close to another person before.

“On the bus. That’s why I sat next to you. I had a note in my backpack, I was gonna give it to you but then I fell into you and you got so mad and I got so mad,” He reaches into his chest pocket of his white shirt and pulls out a crumpled up piece of paper.

“Johnny-”

The note gets placed carefully in Ten’s hands and not dropped into the ocean like Ten is afraid of at first. It Isn’t just crumpled up, it has been through a lot, many years. Ten slowly unfolds it and it reaches the size of a normal printing paper. Neat and blue handwritten letters cover the page from top to bottom, and Ten immediately starts reading.

Hii, Ten!

I really don’t believe that you are real.

I saw you in class today and I couldn’t stop staring. We’re in algebra together, my name is Johnny. Though you might remember me as the guy who helped you with an equation that was way too hard for anyone in that class to understand. I tried my best. I’m a friend of Lucas, I heard that you’re friends with him, or met him at a party. I’ve never felt like this before, not for another guy, not for anyone. I’m questioning my sexuality even: Do I like men too now?. I also don’t dare to talk to you, and I don’t have your number. So I wrote this. I want to get to know you Ten, and I really don’t mean it in a creepy way. 

Yours truly, Johnny.

PS: please don’t show Lucas this note!!!

Yeah, so tears are streaming down Ten’s face, and there’s no point in holding them back anymore. How can he be so stupid? And so self-centered he didn’t even notice that someone liked him. What if he hadn’t gotten mad that day, and just laughed it off like a normal person? Sure, Johnny accidentally falling onto him wasn’t a big deal, so why did he make it into one? It begins to hurt, the water, not that it’s cold, it just feels as if it’s rejecting his body. He neatly folds up the note and hands it back to Johnny, who’s speechless, and runs for the shore. There, his belongings have been tossed into a small pile next to Johnny’s, and without looking back, he grabs them and runs back to his room.

His shorts and the bottom half of his T-shirt are drenched and dripping all over the lobby floor, but he just doesn’t care. Too emotional to care, he is a Pisces after all. He shuts the door behind him before sliding down against it. He feels stupid, but there is one thing he still wonders. Why did Johnny ignore him?

That question will soon be answered as a knock is placed on the door followed by the handle being yanked a few times. He can’t face him, he feels. The man that had a crush on him is on the other side of the door and Ten can’t help but think, did his own stupid monkey brain confuse his intense emotions for the other as hate when it was in fact… 

He unlocks the door and lets Johnny in, who is also soaking wet with a worried look on his face. The piercing love letter still lies in his hand as he discards his tote bag on the carpet. Ten cringes. The sperm-circus carpet. 

He closes the door behind him. “I’m sorry.” 

For what, Ten thinks, but the tears streaming down his own face is probably the answer to that. 

“Why did you ignore me in college?” Is all he says in disregard for the obvious truths he could have told, like; ‘I didn’t mean to yell at you on the bus’. But it feels unnecessary, more of a truism than anything.

Ten leans against the small table where bottles of water are piled up in a pyramid shape, they look warm and are probably not even free. What a scam.

Johnny sighs, his lip blue and shuddering, “It was so exhausting; fighting you every day. I didn’t feel like hurting you anymore,” he rubs his eye and looks away to avoid eye contact. “Even though that was probably worse.”

Ten nods, agreeing. Taking a step closer, he says; “What if I told you I liked you,” his legs are shaking, if it’s from the cold or his own nervousness, he can’t tell. “What if I said I’ve liked you all along?” 

He isn’t sure. How could it happen so fast and how come he didn’t realize sooner? It is now, when Johnny stands in front of him, that it all makes sense. Hate can’t fuel somebody to be so intensely obsessed with another being. Even if he excused it as such. And oh, the jealousy. The jealousy he felt every time he heard rumors about Johnny dating someone, and not to mention the time he made out with a girl in front of him. So that’s why he got so mad; Ten has a moment of realization, the pieces are falling into place. Okay, back to reality.

“Are you serious?” 

“I’m serious. I mean- I don’t know ! I’m pretty sure.” Ten stutters while squeezing at the hem of his wet shirt, causing water to dribble from it.

Ten can sense that Johnny is considering something, something he doesn’t know, and he paces back and forth in the room while Ten observes, wide-eyed. He then stops. Something in his eyes has changed, they’re sucking him in, like black holes. It reminds Ten of that time in the stoner circle when Johnny kissed that girl. But only this time, he has made a different decision.

“Why don’t we find out?” Johnny says, with a tone that sparks with familiarity in Ten. Though the teasing twist to it is what makes him lift his gaze. The taller looks him up and down with greedy eyes, blinking dreamily. He shifts his weight a few times, from one leg to another, betraying his self-proclaimed confidence. Johnny is not the only nervous one.

When his words hit Ten, he doesn’t know how to interpret them. His heart is beating at a fast pace and his face feels warm all of a sudden. He breathes. “What?” 

The wall is only a few inches behind him, so if he feels like he’s about to pass out, he can. Ten mentally writes that down, ‘passing out wouldn’t be fatal ’. That is when Johnny steps in closer, relaxing his posture, before bringing his hand up to push Ten’s bangs to the side. Perhaps a little fatal. Ten doesn’t even flinch, almost leaning into the touch. But instead of pulling his hand away after, he leaves it in his hair, allowing Ten’s eyes to fall shut. Johnny lets his hand drop to caress his neck, slowly letting it glide down towards his collarbone.

Ten’s head is throbbing as he rests his own hand on top of Johnny’s, “But I hate you, I’ve always hated you.” Ten tries to convince himself, more so than Johnny. He holds on to the water-bottle-pyramid table for some kind of support, as the wall that his back is pushed up against isn’t cutting it anymore.

Johnny grins and leans in close. “I don’t believe you.” He says it in a low voice, almost sing-songing, which causes Ten’s breath to hitch.

His hand feels so warm against his neck, and when he rubs circles with his thumb on his tender skin, Ten can’t take it anymore. 

“ Johnny- ”  Ten’s voice breaks through the silence and Johnny, who seems to be in a trance, immediately drops his hand and takes a step back, snapping out of it.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

It’s now his turn to get cut off by Ten. A gasp of surprise leaves him when the shorter stands up on his tiptoes and presses his lips against Johnny’s. His body jolts from the contact, but only for a quick moment before he realizes; it’s happening. After so many years, it’s finally happening. Ten has a firm grip on each side of the other’s face who’s hands quickly grasp at his sides to pull him in closer, causing Ten to hit the wall behind him again. He leans against the wall, with his hand placed slightly over Ten’s shoulder to support himself. They have broken apart from the kiss already, instead, heavy breathing covers the sound of Ten’s pounding heart, that he’s scared Johnny can hear.

“Are you okay?” Johnny lifts Ten’s chin, asking for permission.

His eyelids feel heavy, and his blinking seems to be in slow-motion, he smirks. “Never felt more okay.” 

And he’s not even lying.

Sparks of excitement shoot through Ten’s body as their lips meet again, this time with less hesitation and more lust. The hotel room is dimly lit, or maybe it just feels that way right at this moment. Everything is so quiet but yet so loud, and Ten almost loses his grasp of reality. Johnny’s soft lips are showering him with heat and passion, and Ten’s knees are soon starting to give in. He glances over at the door, in between the embraces. The chances of it being locked are slim to none, but Ten would be fucking crazy to interrupt a moment like this. But never in a million years did he think he and Johnny would end up like this, or perhaps he did. ‘Never in a reasonable amount of years,’ sounds more believable.  Gentle hands caress his hair and kisses are placed down his neck, it sends shivers down his spine and he’s quick to let his hands wander up Johnny’s shirt. 

Suddenly, the door swings open, interrupting the heated moment.

“Room service, haha-” Donghyuck’s smile quickly fades “ -Fucking shit .”

Ten stumbles away from the taller while an awkward look reflects on both of their faces. Donghyuck’s mouth hangs open as he points between the two, Ten tries to spare him an apologetic glance, but it’s no use.

The younger covers his mouth with his hand before stuffing it in his pocket. “First of all, I knew it! I fucking knew it. Second, you guys have scarred me for life.” 

A strained chuckle escapes him and Ten looks over at Johnny, his acquaintance, who does nothing but fix his gaze on the floor, leaving Ten to handle the conversation himself. He can’t deny it. That would be absurdly funny, though. ‘No, you didn’t see anything’.

“Just walk out, Donghyuck, go play Kartrider,” he says instead, accompanied by the deepest sigh ever, waving his hand in a shooing motion.

And so he does. He rests his hand on his hip, before grabbing the ‘do not disturb’ sign from the door handle. “You might need this,” he warns, pointing it at the pair before swinging the door shut while backing out, hopefully hanging it on the outside.  Ten erupts in laughter, and so does Johnny. His eyes crinkle and he has to lean on the table to keep steady. Slight tears decorate Johnny’s round cheeks after a while of hysterical laughing. Ten’s eyelashes feel damp too, and his ears warm. It fades out, and Johnny stills, straightening out his button-up and pushing his hair back.

“Our clothes are wet... Still ,” Ten says and fixes his necklace. “We should take them off.”

Johnny nods slowly while reaching for the top button of his shirt. “Lock the door, Ten.”