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“All the numbers are in, and your season was the highest-rated in Bachelor history,” Meng Yao tells his future brother-in-law when he runs into Lan Wangji one morning at the Lan house.
Lan Wangji, who is sitting on the couch reading a book, looks up and says, very seriously, “That is because people really like Wei Ying.” Wei Wuxian, who is napping with his head in Lan Wangji’s lap, opens his eyes and says, “Bullshit! It’s because Lan Zhan’s perfect,” and then goes back to sleep.
It would be understandable if Meng Yao, who didn’t sleep for a week while doing the initial edit pass on the season, wanted to claim some part of the success of the show for himself. He’s spent the last four months under immense pressure from his father; from the moment filming ended until the moment it became clear that the “twist” was a ratings hit, Jin Guangshan had insisted it was all Meng Yao’s fault things went down the way they did (as if Meng Yao had somehow forced Lan Wangji to fall in love with his cameraman). He’d even told Meng Yao that if his decision to bring Wei Wuxian back or show Wei Wuxian’s questions during the interviews, he would fire Meng Yao on the spot.
Now that it’s a hit, of course, Jin Guangshan can be heard around the JGS Productions offices bragging about his role in all of it. So, Meng Yao thinks, it would be nice if anyone at all bothered to notice his contributions …
(“I notice your contributions,” Xichen says, that night, but they’re in bed at the time and Xichen isn’t exactly in a position to say otherwise.)
Anyway, he’s used to these two lovesick fools by now — Meng Yao still hasn’t entirely accepted that he’s going to be living in the same house as Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian once he and Xichen are married — and so instead of arguing, he just nods and heads out for the first day of shooting on the Qin Su and Mo Xuanyu season.
###
Running a Bachelor season with two leads is something Meng Yao’s been interested in for a while, and he knows, rationally, that their storyline from last season makes Qin Su and Mo Xuanyu the perfect pair. That doesn’t make it any less awkward; if their family reunions are catastrophes right now, he can imagine how much worse they could be if he’s instrumental in one or both of them breaking their heart (again, in Mo Xuanyu’s case).
The only cure for this particular concern, in his opinion, is maintaining an iron grip over the course of the season.
“No surprises this season, right?” Meng Yao says to Nie Huaisang, as they pull up at the beach house to film intros. “I have zero tolerance for surprises.”
“Definitely, definitely, Yao-xiong,” Huaisang says. It’s not his most convincing tone; Meng Yao glares at him, and Huaisang smiles innocently.
But the first three episodes go smoothly; Meng Yao, always with an eye out for future seasons, is glad to see that Nie Mingjue is behaving himself. His plan is to use this as a test run for Mingjue, since he assumes, based on Huaisang’s stories about his brother, that Nie Mingjue won’t be interested in either the soft-spoken and mild-mannered Qin Su or the artsy and erudite Mo Xuanyu. If everything works out, Mingjue can finally take a turn as the Bachelor next season.
The rest of the men — all the suitors are bi or pan men, because Qin Su is straight and Mo Xuanyu is gay — are, perhaps, a little bland, but that’s nothing Meng Yao hasn’t worked with before. There’s lots of time to encourage attempts by the suitors to win the hearts or attention of both Bachelor and Bachelorette.
The only unusual thing about the season is that Nie Huaisang has insisted on doing more interviews with the leads than he usually does, and attending more of the dates, with the argument that “there’s two of them, they need more guidance than usual.” Meng Yao agrees only because Mo Xuanyu — who is turning out to be something of a closed-off Bachelor — seems to open up a bit around Huaisang.
After one interview, at the end of the third episode, Meng Yao turns to Huaisang in the production van and says, “We’re friends, Huaisang, right? You’d tell me if there were going to be any surprises like we had last season?”
Huaisang shakes his head. “No surprises, Yao-xiong, I promise.” He turns and stares out the window, then turns back. “I don’t think he’s really over Lan Wangji, anyway. He’ll probably choose no-one.”
This pleases Meng Yao, because it would definitely end his career at JGS if he had to tell his father about another romance between a Bachelor and a member of the crew. “You couldn’t find someone he’d fall for on camera?” Jin Guangshan had complained, after Lan Wangji’s season. “Are you that bad at casting?”
It does not please Nie Huaisang, but he keeps that thought to himself. Nie Huaisang is a professional; he’s been hosting this show for years now, he’s not going to lose his job over a crush. Anyway, unlike Wei Wuxian, he doesn’t get to spend time alone with the Bachelor, so it’s not as if he can do anything more than spend a little extra time around Mo Xuanyu during interviews and otherwise keep his struggles to himself.
###
In the fourth episode, Qin Su gets a one-on-one date with Nie Mingle to go river rafting. Qin Su has been interested in Mingjue ever since they met at the After the Final Rose live taping (it’s not the moustache, she tells herself; well, it’s not just the moustache, alright?), but this is their first time spending real quality time together during the season. Both of them are enjoying the date: Nie Mingjue finds that Qin Su radiates a gentle energy that helps him feel calm, and behind her quiet exterior is a smart, determined woman. Qin Su is finding that there’s a soft core behind Nie Mingjue’s brusque charm.
While they’re running the rapids, though, the guide makes a mistake that ends with the raft flipping. That normally wouldn’t be too dangerous, except that Qin Su gets bumped on the head by the camera as they flip and is briefly knocked unconscious. Nie Mingjue’s protective instincts kick into overdrive; he dives down, grabs her, swims her to shore, and gets her coughing out the water she inhaled.
“Are you alright?” Mingjue asks, as she opens her eyes. “Are you alright, A-Su?”
Well. Maybe it’s the bump on the head — Mingjue, who knows about head injuries from boxing, will later run a concussion test, and conclude she’s okay — or maybe it’s adrenaline, but Qin Su sits up and says, kind of breathless, “I’m fine, Mingjue, I’m fine … except I think I’d be better if you kissed me?”
Well, Meng Yao thinks, watching them make out on a riverbank while sopping wet, that didn’t go according to plan! It looks like he might lose the possibility both of Nie Mingjue as a Bachelor, and of any real competition between the two siblings for suitors. But at least he got a moment worth swooning for. (He’ll have to point that out when Jin Guangshan inevitably yells at him for “wasting” Mingjue on Qin Su instead of giving him his own season).
Giving Qin Su and Nie Mingjue up as a sure thing, Meng Yao turns his attention to the Mo Xuanyu plot line. Watching the dailies, he decides that Mo Xuanyu is oblivious to Nie Huaisang’s extra attentions, although grateful for his friendliness. Meng Yao can also see that Mo Xuanyu isn’t entirely checked in for the proceedings, emotionally. (Lan Wangji, who also wasn’t invested in the process of wooing his suitors, had naturally seemed liked he cared during his interviews during the first half of the season because of who was asking the questions.)
“I get it now,” Mo Xuanyu says, in one talking-head interview. “It’s hard to open up with someone that you’re always meeting in front of a camera. I probably never had a chance with him.” (He doesn’t say who him is, but of course Meng Yao knows.)
Meng Yao throws all the arty dates he can think of at him: Mo Xuanyu stays overnight at the Shanghai Museum with three suitors! A group date with a scavenger hunt at the National Library! He goes on the unused ballroom dancing at the Paramount date that was leftover from Lan Wangji’s season! He does a body-painting lesson with two suitors, which is obviously sexy, but Mo Xuanyu doesn’t seem to care.
Oh, Mo Xuanyu makes an effort to act as if he’s enjoying himself, and he does kiss more suitors than Lan Wangji ever did, but in a dutiful, “I guess I should do this” sort of way that makes it clear that nothing is managing to break through the tough outer skin of his apathy. Meng Yao considers bringing in Lan Wangji to give Mo Xuanyu a “go out and find your man” speech, but after discussing it with Xichen gives up on the idea.
“I know Wangji apologized to Mo Xuanyu, privately, for keeping him on the show as long as he did,” Xichen says. “He didn’t mean to inadvertently lead him in deeper on his feelings. But I don’t think he’d want to talk to him about it on camera.”
So Meng Yao is left to make the best of a bad situation, television-wise. They make it all the way to the meet-the-family episodes, with only four suitors left, and there’s no sign Mo Xuanyu is truly into anyone. Xuanyu has selected three suitors to meet his family (apparently at random, Meng Yao thinks: Xuanyu doesn’t have anything in common with any of them) and Qin Su has (reluctantly) selected two. (She wanted to only bring Mingjue to meet her family, but compromised, at Meng Yao’s insistence, by selecting one of the three suitors Mo Xuanyu had already decided to bring to the final episode. Meng Yao does get his “competing for the same suitor” plot line, but since Qin Su is so obviously smitten with Mingjue it’ll be hard to sell it as real competition.)
The meet-the-family shoot with Qin Su’s family goes very well (her father — not Jin Guangshan, but the man who raised her — is aware she’s not his biological daughter but, he always says, she’s his daughter anyway). Everybody loves Nie Mingjue, who sings the praises of Qin Su throughout the dinner.
But Mo Xuanyu is different. He’s not on speaking terms with the Mo family, whose house he grew up in — he won’t say anything about it on camera but Meng Yao suspects Mo Xuanyu was bullied badly growing up — and so it’s decided that Jin Guangshan will be the “family” for the shoot.
(Clarification: Jin Guangshan decides this, because it’s been a while since he’s been on television and he likes the ego boost. Mo Xuanyu, who really only considers Qin Su his family at this point — and maybe, tentatively, Meng Yao — had suggested he could go without the meet-the-family segment. Meng Yao, sympathetic to this desire, had advocated for it but failed to sway Jin Guangshan.)
When he finds out, Nie Huaisang immediately insists on being invited to dinner, too.
“You need more people,” he tells Meng Yao. “You’ll need someone to keep conversation flowing.”
“Fine,” Meng Yao says, because he’s nervous about Jin Guangshan appearing on the show and feels like he could use some backup. He’s struggled to handle his father this season, even more than he usually does. Jin Guangshan has always been prone to haranguing Meng Yao about the Bachelor (alternately bossing him around, threatening to fire him, and taking credit for his successes) but it’s been ten times worse this season.
(Last time he complained about it at dinner at the Lan house, Wei Wuxian said “That’s kind of a toxic working environment, you know,” and Lan Wangji said “Mn. Agreed,” and Xichen keeps sending him cute little texts throughout the day to pep him up, but, yeah. Meng Yao is stressed.)
Meng Yao is also nervous that the season is going to turn out kind of boring, which isn’t helping with his stress. So, sure — let’s bring Nie Huaisang along, because why not? Can’t make things worse.
The meet-the-family segment with the first suitor is filmed at Jin Guangshan’s big house in Siheyuan, Beijing. Jin Guangshan has the meal catered, really splashes out on an impressive showing. The suitor (who, let’s be honest, is just there for the exposure), is polite. Mo Xuanyu is withdrawn. Jin Guangshan gets pretty drunk. During a break in shooting Nie Huaisang comes over and whispers to Meng Yao, “Nobody at that table cares about Xuanyu! It’s ridiculous!”
Meng Yao sighs and says “Nobody other than you?” and Nie Huaisang blushes, nods, and mutters “I hate it.” But what’s he going to do? He’s the host, not a suitor.
When dinner’s over, Jin Guangshan asks the suitor what he likes about Mo Xuanyu. The suitor hems and haws and is visibly trying to think of something to say. (To be fair, Mo Xuanyu selected his final three by purposefully choosing people he thought wouldn’t like him, because he lives in dread of having someone fall for him that he doesn’t fall for in turn.)
Nie Huaisang, who desperately wants to interject with a list of great things about Mo Xuanyu, instead watches with horror as Jin Guangshan laughs and drunkenly leans over to the suitor.
“I understand your problem! Xuanyu’s never seemed that impressive to me, either, but maybe you’ll find he’s at very least good in bed — I like to think that runs in the family.”
Three things then happen all at once: Mo Xuanyu breaks into silent tears; Meng Yao hisses “Cut film, cut film, we’re not doing this on camera;” and Nie Huaisang stands up, says “You, sir, are an asshole,” and punches Jin Guangshan in the face.
Nie Huaisang has a surprisingly strong right hook: all those times Mingjue forced him into the boxing gym have paid off. He knocks out two of Jin Guangshan’s teeth, so that Jin Guangshan is forced to stand around spitting out blood and teeth while Huaisang launches into a rant about how wonderful Mo Xuanyu is and how the world is missing out by failing to notice how he’s smart and funny and gorgeous — have you seen his fingers, they’re so long and delicate! — and when he’s thinking he makes this pretty little scrunched-up face, and …
Mo Xuanyu stops crying and stares at Nie Huaisang, stunned.
“Do you believe all that?” he says.
“Yes,” Nie Huaisang says, for once not stuck with an urge to say “I don’t know.”
Then Jin Guangshan, having found his teeth, pulls himself together and yells “You’re fired!” at Nie Huaisang.
“Good,” Huaisang says, calm, “I don’t want to work for you, anyway.”
And he stomps out.
Guangshan turns to Meng Yao and says, “You! This is your fuck up! Fix this! How do you have so little control over your employees? Where’s the respect?”
Maybe Meng Yao is overwhelmed by brotherly sympathy. Maybe it’s an excess of feeling about his own relationship with his father, and how Jin Guangshan has never once said a nice thing about Meng Yao, either, even when Meng Yao’s work has made him shine bright. Maybe it’s that Meng Yao could use a little free time to plan his upcoming wedding. Or maybe he’s inspired by Huaisang — whatever it is, he says, “Okay, if I’ve fucked up, you try making this show without me and see if you can do better,” takes off the radio he uses to boss around the crew, and follows Huaisang right back out.
Then he pops his head back and says, “Oh, Xuanyu! Want to come with us? We’re going to take the train back to Shanghai.”
And so Mo Xuanyu walks out, too. (Apologies to the nameless suitor. Hope you like watching the drunken rages of Jin Guangshan!)
###
So, does Jin Guangshan manage to pull everything together in the aftermath of this disaster? Of course not! He hires temporary producers and editors to put together a season of The Bachelor with what they have so far — Qin Su and Nie Mingjue do film their proposal, too, although it’s pretty apparent that he’s already asked her to marry him before they filmed it, which takes some of the impact out of the scene — and the result is a watered-down product that gets very low ratings and is a blow to the reputation of JGS Productions.
Meanwhile, Mo Xuanyu, feeling rather like his eyes have been opened to a romantic prospect from an unexpected direction, starts dating Nie Huaisang off camera. On their fourth date, Mo Xuanyu realizes that he hasn’t thought about Lan Wangji in more than a month, and that Huaisang punching Jin Guangshan in the face was maybe the first time in his life — besides Qin Su quitting Lan Wangji’s season, which he has complicated feelings about — that somebody put their own happiness on the line for him.
It’s kind of a heady feeling. Mo Xuanyu thinks he could get used to the idea that somebody likes him that much. (Cut to them kissing against the bookshelves in Nie Huaisang’s private library and attending rare book and fan auctions together, and Mo Xuanyu slowly finding that he does get to have the happy ending he dreamed of.)
Also, Mo Xuanyu and Meng Yao and Qin Su start having regular sibling lunches with Jin Zixuan, and now the Nies are part of the family, and of course the Lans and Wei Wuxian are part of the family too, through Meng Yao, so suddenly Mo Xuanyu has a big family! (And there’s also Jiang Cheng and his boyfriend Wen Ning and, through them, Wen Qing and her wife, Luo Qingyang, and suddenly there are monthly dinners at the Lan house that strain the bounds of the dinner table.)
As for Nie Huaisang and Meng Yao’s job prospects: inspired by the success of Wei Wuxian’s decision to just start making what he wants to make, they start a production company together, and as their first production do a season of The Amazing Race: China.
Ten months later, SangYao Productions has a bona fide ratings hit on their hands.
“Let’s do a survival show next,” Meng Yao says.
“Ah, I don’t know, I don’t know, I’m no good at the wilderness …”
“It’ll be fine, A-Sang, you’ll see!”
And that’s the end: The Bachelor is no more; Jin Guangshan, the true villain, got what he deserved (or at least got punched), and everyone else got their deliriously happy ending!