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The late October had arrived with blasting winds, floating colourful leaves everywhere and turning the Hogwarts grounds into a sea of red and gold. It looked like the whole world was counting on the Gryffindor Quidditch team and their first match of the school year tomorrow, which Sirius felt oddly smug of as he realized that, hovering fifty feet in the air.
James was going from one end of the stadium to the other, instinctively adjusting his glasses or Captain badge far more often than necessary. He blew into a whistle every few minutes to point out flaws in someone’s tactic and how to fix them, reminding the players to follow the game plan he’d spent sleepless nights making.
Sirius felt proud of him, watching his brother in his element, and proud of himself for now getting to be a part of it. He was even wearing James’s old robes, which still read POTTER across the back – a perfect fit for him, and McGonagall had given him permission to use them.
James had chosen Sirius to fill an open Chaser’s position at the beginning of the semester, making him one of three new additions to the team. He was eager to show what he was capable of and had been working hard for weeks to prove himself being worthy of the name on his jersey, that he wasn't on the team only for being the Captain's best friend.
But there was, as James expressed it, one little Problem.
Sirius making it to the team had brought an unpredicted guest to the stands surrounding the pitch.
Remus Lupin’s sudden interest in their Quidditch practices after years of refusing to attend even the matches was odd enough, and at first, Sirius didn’t understand why James was complaining – he was more than happy to have Remus there. To keep him company... for him to stare at...
He'd soon realized that was the Problem.
One would think it’d be easy to ignore him, for he almost blended into the autumn foliage, the colourful leaves scattered on the seats, but only the knowledge of his presence was enough to make Sirius steal careless glances at his direction even in the heat of the game.
Sometimes their eyes locked across the pitch, and sometimes it would make Sirius crash straight into a goalpost. He’d make dumb mistakes, trying too little or trying too hard in an attempt to impress him – at least he’d made him laugh.
Crushing on your best friend was hard enough even when you weren’t a closeted queer kid. And staring at the little dot that Remus became when he was flying high, waving up at him with the sweetest smile, made Sirius’s mission not to fall in love with him more with every heartbeat impossible.
He didn’t know who’d given Remus permission to look mesmerising in his ridiculous layered jumpers and a thick Gryffindor scarf. Had Remus been at the try-out, Sirius probably would never have made it to the team.
A Problem.
James had had to pause their practice because of Sirius and go pull his head from the clouds countless of times.
“You’re playing your first game tomorrow,” James told him for about the hundredth time. “So you might wanna pay a little more attention to the action, we’re gonna have to ask Moony leave for causing too much distraction.”
Sirius muttered his apologies, following James to the other side of the pitch where the rest of the team was gathered. He took his place in the circle and raised his head to the clear sky.
The moon would be full that night. Remus had talked James out of joining him this month, knowing how important the matches were to him, wanting to let him sleep. But Sirius had stood his ground – game-day or not, he would not leave Remus behind – he and Wormtail would still join Moony as they had for almost two years now.
In all years of knowing him, Sirius had never seen Remus up and walking at this point, only hours to the moonrise. Even though Remus would likely start to develop some of his common symptoms like fever and possible wolf-driven impulsiveness at any time, seeing Remus at the stands – smiling and sitting up on his own – was a hopeful sign.
It was way better to have him there than alone and in pain in the Gryffindor Tower. Despite the Problem.
———
Sirius had mixed feelings about the upcoming match. He was satisfied with his own flying – in the rare moments he forgot Remus’s presence, he actually performed rather impressive moves. Everyone on the team played well together, and although the other two fresh team members were still kind of hopeless, their skills had improved massively after weeks of James’s coaching.
Still, James had to interrupt the practice because of them more often than not (and more often than because of Sirius, which he took as a win) and advice them while the rest of the team killed time playing tag.
In those moments Sirius would fly down over to Remus and steal the beanie from his head in a swift movement, then speed past him multiple times and ruffle his curls. Remus tried to grab his hand and pull him down every time he flew by, teasing, secretly cherishing the feeling of Remus’s cold fingers brushing against his skin. He always gave him the beanie back soon, though, because Remus’s ears tended to get cold fast. Remus would stick his tongue at him as a thank you.
“How are you feeling?”
Sirius slid off his broom, hanging from it like a sloth, slowly circling Remus. He imagined kissing Remus that way. He’d kiss every mole and scar, all the things Remus would mark as flaws about himself. There were no flaws in him. He looked like a dream.
“Good,” Remus said, “Apart from this fucking headache.”
“You should rest.”
“No, I think the fresh air helps.” Remus leaned his elbows to his knees. Sirius knew he was more tired than he led on. “And you.”
Sirius felt warm in his chest, and he smiled. Remus was so good at casually saying nice things like that.
He turned his back at him to squint across the pitch to see if it maybe was time for him to go back. He hoped James would let them go soon.
“I’m so bored,” Sirius said, looking back at Remus. “This is taking forever. Are you not bored? You never cared about Quidditch before.”
“No, I just enjoy watching you ride a broom.”
Sirius almost fell at those words. Remus laughed.
“Listen, Pads, I actually want to talk to you—”
A sharp whistle echoed to his ears from the pitch behind him. James had started to gather all the teammates in their positions.
“No,” Sirius whined. “We aren’t making any progress anymore. Please save me. I’m not going. My arse hurts.”
Remus laughed. “Drag your dramatic ass over there,” he said, pushing him by a leg, the only place he could reach. He offered him a smile that did wonders to Sirius’s heart. “It’s not that bad. At least the weather is still beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful,” Sirius muttered under his breath as he flew back to the centre.
———
Sirius hadn’t gotten another chance to go back to Remus and tried his best to ignore him from the distance, knowing how much it mattered to James to see them all giving their best, and ending up getting hit by a Bludger only once.
The sun had already disappeared behind the Forbidden Forest when James finally called it quits. He had kept them in the sky for over three hours, and the whole team – James himself included – was starting to get too hangry to function.
“Good job today, folks,” James said, holding the door to the changing room open, offering an encouraging pat on everyone’s shoulder as they walked in. “McKinnon, keep the Quaffle out the goals like that tomorrow and Slytherins won’t stand a chance. Longbottom, not gonna lie, there’s room for improvement but you’ll do just fine if you keep a cool head. Alright, everyone – rest! We’re all waking up early for final warm-ups.”
The room emptied in minutes, most players deciding to go to dinner first and shower in their dorms. James and Sirius were the only ones staying behind, but even James hurried off, his stomach growling loudly, while Sirius was still getting dressed.
He tried to hurry through his routine – they’d have to leave to the Shack soon, and Sirius wanted to be in the castle to make sure Remus ate enough before the night. He’d just managed to get his jeans on when he heard a shy knock from the door. His heart made a cartwheel when he saw Remus standing in the doorway, half hiding in the shadows.
“Hi, Moons,” Sirius said, reaching for his shirt from his locker. “Are you okay? I thought you’d headed back to the castle already.”
“I wanted to wait for you. And talk, still.” Remus leaned his back against the door, and it closed with a soft click. He was silent for a moment, watching Sirius pull the shirt over his head. “You were great. You’re totally gonna kick Slytherin’s ass tomorrow.”
“Thanks,” Sirius said, a pleased grin spreading on his face. “Just a fair warning though, James might try to beg you to not come, he says you’re too distracting to me, calls you ‘a Problem’ -- lovingly, of course! But just don’t listen to him, okay?”
“Mm.” Remus took hesitant steps forward, gathering his jumper sleeves in his hands. “Maybe it’s a good thing then that I can’t come to the match tomorrow.”
“What? How come?” Sirius stopped on his tracks as the words hit him. “Oh, shit. Yeah.”
He didn’t know how he hadn’t realized that before. Of course Remus couldn’t come. He’d still be recovering from the full moon and Madam Pomfrey never discharged him before late afternoon.
Remus smirked. “Yeah. So. This is probably the only time we get to be alone before the game. Wish you good luck...”
Sirius looked into the bright, hazel eyes he loved so. He had no idea what the boy was talking about. Was he feeling guilty for missing Sirius’s first match?
Remus’s eyes were darting all over Sirius’s face anxiously. He was close enough for Sirius to take both of his hands and pull him closer, holding them in the space between them.
“Why do we need to be alone for that?”
“For this.”
Remus was moving closer.
Sirius’s brain took a moment to register what was happening. He tightened his grip on Remus’s hands, now trapped between their chest, and he could feel both of their heartbeat. Remus’s lips were rough, but the way they brushed against his was the softest touch he’d ever known.
Remus was kissing him.
Until he wasn’t. Remus pulled back just an inch, their noses still bumping, foreheads resting together.
“Is this okay?” He whispered into his mouth.
Sirius barked a laugh. He couldn’t remember when things would’ve been more okay. “Yeah, I – yeah, of course. Merlin, Re, you—”
The words got stuck to his throat when Remus freed his hands from Sirius’s and took his head between them. The world around him seemed to slip far away when Remus pushed his hair from his face, still damp from the shower.
Sirius pressed his palms on Remus’s hips, bringing their bodies closer together.
“Good luck,” Remus mumbled, sounding just as breathless as Sirius felt.
“Thanks,” Sirius said faintly.
He felt dizzy. Remus was bending down to reach his mouth better, his hands exploring his body, touching his shoulders, his arms, his chest...
Sirius felt like his heart might give out.
“I love you, Moons,” he said the next time their lips separated. He felt Remus shiver in his arms. “And I never was sure if I just imagined or if you were—”
The rest of his sentence was cut short by a yelp escaping his own mouth when Remus suddenly fisted his shirt front and pushed him.
Sirius wasn’t expecting it, and he swayed, tumbling on the ground and pulling Remus down with him.
Remus giggled. He heaved himself on top of Sirius, pinning him to the ground.
“Was flirting with you thickhead,” Remus finished. He leaned down for a bruising kiss. “Constantly.” A kiss. “For fucking ages.” A kiss.
Sirius heard the leaves crumble under their weight. His heart was pounding faster than ever, feeling drunk with happiness when Remus’s fingers cradled his cheeks.
“Are you gonna say it?”
Remus smiled, leaned closer, only softly pecking Sirius’s lips with his own, “I love you too.”
Sirius had never felt more content than in that moment. He still held onto Remus’s hips, digging his fingers into the wool of the jumpers. Remus’s lips were trailing down his jaw, and Sirius could feel him clinging to him more by the minute.
Then suddenly, Remus flinched. His head snapped up to the door, and he cursed loudly. He stumbled on his feet and reached his arms to pull Sirius up too. “James is coming.”
Sirius frowned. “How did you—”
“You know I can hear and smell everything from two hundred feet away on the days around the full,” he said. A smirk rose on his face, and he pressed his hand over Sirius’s wildly racing heart. Sirius gasped silently. Remus kissed his open mouth.
With that, he slid away from the backdoor the same moment Sirius began to hear stomping footsteps and the door next to him opened, revealing exhausted-looking James.
“Oh, you’re still here,” he said, marching right past Sirius and to the broom closet. “Came back… not gonna leave this were on the night before the game. You remember how Slytherins hexed my broom when I left it down here last year? No, I’m taking this to the dorm, and I suggest you do the same.”
James kept talking, but Sirius didn’t hear a word he was saying. He was still staring at the back door, behind which Remus had disappeared. His face still felt hot, his lips cold without Remus’s against them.
“Pads, are you listening? I asked if Remus seemed to be o—” James dark eyes landed on him, and his mouth fell open. “What the hell happened to you?!”
“Did someone attack you? Was it the Slytherins? I’m gone for five minutes and—”
“Nobody attacked me, idiot,” Sirius laughed. He strode across the room to a large mirror hanging on the wall. He stilled at the sight of his own reflection.
His face was shining scarlet, his usually sleek hair now mussed up, tangled and dusty from lying on the floor, a few yellow leaves still stuck on here. His shirt was hanging off his shoulder, rumpled and covered in dirt patches. All in all, James’s suspicions very seemed fairly justified.
Sirius cleared his throat and walked back to his locker, pulling out his socks and shoes, sitting down to put them on.
“I fell,” he said in a casual voice, taking his wand and tapping at the shoes to tie the laces. James’s eyes narrowed, and Sirius knew he’d went with the weakest excuse possible.
“You fell.”
“Yep.” Sirius pointed at the Sirius-shaped, clean area on the muddy floor. “So slippery.”
The boys stared at each other in awkward silence for thirty full seconds.
“You know, you are right, I better take my broom with me too,” Sirius said quickly, gathering his belongings from the locker on his arms and pushed past James to pick up his own broomstick, then heading for the door without giving him a chance to say anything. “Come on, we’re so late, Remus must’ve been waiting for us at the Great Hall for ages.”
———
Remus had been right to say they wouldn’t get another chance to be alone that evening. His fever had started to rise shortly after dinner and they had to leave to the Shack just a moment later. It was easy enough to change secret glances behind Peter’s back as they’d walked down the tunnel, but that’s all they could do. Remus had never seemed happier on the night of the full.
The night had been as easy as it could get, and Sirius’s mind was at peace when he stepped on the pitch on his firey robes the next morning. His eyes scanned the crowd, instinctively looking for something he knew was hundreds of feet away in the castle, safe, and sound asleep.
Remus’s injuries had been minimal when he’d left him in the Shack, and Peter would skip the game that day to keep Remus company in case he woke up. Sirius would hurry beside him the second the game was over. Right after they’d win.
He would be fine. They would be fine.
“Conditions could be better,” James sighed, glaring up to the sky, grey and cloudy that morning. “I’m afraid rain’s gonna ruin our chances, Slytherins are more prepared for that.”
“I don’t know about that, Prongs,” Sirius said, mounting his broom beside him. He glanced at the sky, too – if would likely be pouring soon. He didn’t care. No amount of rain or cold could wash off his smile today. “I’m feeling pretty lucky.”