Chapter Text
The sounds of the lakeside’s water crashing upon the shore’s gravel is just barely enough to distract from the distant, roaring fires that were the gravesite of their kind. The smell of smoke was still poignant, but it was easy to tell the last of the flames were beginning to die out at last.
They had no choice. It was kill, or be killed, and they were not willing to listen to reason. That’s what Esidisi and Kars had justified to themselves anyways, and perhaps there was truth in those sentiments. But it would never justify robbing these infants of their parents, to kill off the people they had grown with.
Their clothing had been washed in the riverside, hung out to dry while the two men were occupied with cleaning themselves and the infants. Esidisi had been able to warm the water around them to a comfortable temperature, scaring off the fish to make it a somewhat tolerable experience.
Aside from their exhaustion, it had been an interesting experience to say the least. Wamuu ( as he was named by his birth parents ) had proven to be the louder of the boys, having sobbed and wailed for hours even while Kars attempted to wash him clean.
But the other boy… He had only been born a mere few hours ago during their slaughter, his mother was someone Esidisi had married alongside the boy’s birth father. She had passed during birth, Esidisi being complicit in the slaughter of his own husband before either had the chance to be present for the birth.
Does he have any right to hold who was legally his son? Does he have any right to call him as such? The boy was so small, even by their race’s standards. Not even the size of his forearm while Wamuu weighed a hefty 25 pounds. To think the very same hands that slaughtered his family was capable of holding such a delicate creature.
Blue eyes look upon the tiny newborn with such sadness to them, watching the boy squirm in silence as Esidisi is careful to scrub the remnants of birth off of him. Calloused, warm fingers are grabbed by tiny, soft fingers which snap the elder Pillar Man back into reality. Red eyes stare into blue, bright red tufts darkened by the water and that’s when it hits him hard.
How his son is the perfect mixture of his parents, the blue birthmark under his eye symbolizing their connection. This boy, so unaware of the sins Esidisi had committed, simply stared up at him without knowing anything.
The weight of everything that occurred finally hits him, Esidisi unable to stop his eyes from watering as he stares at the innocence born during a time of death. The hold on his fingers by the boy brings the warrior of 85,000 years to tears and he doesn’t stop it.
Not when Kars is snapping at him, the words never quite reaching Esidisi’s ears as he holds his son close to his chest. What had he done to be blessed with such a gift? When he was the one that robbed these children of a normal life to be lived with their families?
“Esidisi!”
The noises of nature return to him. The crickets, the sound of them moving within the lake’s waters, Wamuu’s sobbing. Kars’ voice finally hits him, Esidisi turning to look at him through tear stained eyes and he can hardly stop now. It wasn’t silent crying, not anymore. Sobs so thick and ugly, snot in his nose and his breathing heavy.
“Give me the infant before you dirty him even more with your incessant sobbing,” Kars approaches with the larger, much fussier child. Not that he’d admit it, but concern was hidden beneath those red hues of his. “Wamuu is cleansed, you are in no state of mind to be holding a newborn.”
A heavy sigh as Esidisi is quick to splash and clean his face with the water below them. Crying, as he was taught, was a way to process such ugly emotions he felt. But no matter how much he seemed to cry, the pain he’d feel would never alleviate.
“I can handle him. It’s fine.”
That causes Kars to raise a brow, though his attention is swiftly brought back to the fussy blond within his arms. His own focus is given to him, though he still speaks to his dearest friend.
“...He needs a name, Esidisi. He is your child, it’s best you give one to him.”
The way in which Kars had spoken was surprisingly, almost eerily gentle and soft. Almost like a whisper gone unnoticed if Esidisi’s hearing was not heightened due to their use of the mask. But he already knows of an answer, it was one he discussed with his late husband and wife many times the moment they found out they were expecting.
“Santana. That’s… That’s what Guns and Roses decided with him if he was a boy.” How his heart squeezes like it was trapped in a vice at the mention of their names. “Santana and Wamuu.”
Though Esidisi still grieves, perhaps he will for eons, he looks upon both of the boys with nothing but fondness in his eyes. He never expected to be a father nor did he expect to become one in such a manner, but he knows he will care for them as long as he lives.
It’s when he thinks upon fatherhood that he frowns immediately, though it’s comical in the way in which he does so.
“The nearest human trader’s outpost is days away…”
“Hm?”
Esidisi is sauntering after Kars as they leave the lake, cleansed of blood, dirt and sweat. He allows the elder to stay close as he radiates the heat of his mode to dry them off more.
“We don’t have that many clean diapers for the boys—“
“You can spare your headwear for them. As you imply, the outpost will have more material we can obtain. The gain will outweigh the losses.”
Esidisi gawks at his best friend, Wamuu having fallen asleep in Kars’ arms while the freshly named Santana simply stares between the two strange men without a single peep.
Oh, how he argues against the soiling of his favorite hats! Kars, ever the convincing one that he is, has no qualms debating over such matters.
Though the air between them is light for that brief moment, the weight upon them, the guilty consciences and sins they had committed will forever be on their shoulders. They will walk upon miles, the two infants will grow further and further away from their birth place and the resting place of their families.
Never will they know of the tragedy that befell their predecessors.