Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

BOB: We’re in for a good one tonight, Dick. Don't you think?

DICK: Absolutely, couldn’t have said it better myself, Bob. The MSBY Black Jackals and EJP Raijin. Neither team ever disappoints.

BOB: Before we get started, let’s review the starting lineup. The MSBY Black Jackals are represented by Bokuto, Inuaki, Hinata, Meian, Miya, and... another Miya?

DICK: Haven’t you heard? The MSBY’s setter, Miya Atsumu and a wing spiker, Miya Kiyoomi, formerly Sakusa Kiyoomi, were married in a small ceremony just a few weeks ago.

BOB: Wow! You heard that right folks. Miya Atsumu and Miya Kiyoomi officially tied the knot.

DICK: I gotta say, I’m a bit surprised by the name change- a bit unusual in the world of professional sports and not to mention it’s a tradition that is getting rarer and rarer each year.

BOB: I can’t argue with you there but, hey, who are we to judge?

DICK: Alright, let’s move on to the EJP Raijin is represented by Arumaki, Ebata, Iawase, Komori, Washio, and... hold on a minute, am I reading this right, Bob?

BOB: Indeed you are, we’ve got ourselves a plot twist folks. The final starter tonight for EJP Raijin, is none other than Miya Rintarou, formerly known as Suna Rintarou.  

DICK: A third Miya, what are the chances of that?

BOB: It’s crazy, that’s for sure. 12 players on the court right now and a quarter of them are Miyas.

DICK: Word on the street is-

BOB: By the street he, of course, means Twitter.

DICK: Yes, word on the tweet is, Miya Rintarou, Miya Atsumu, and Miya Sakusa are brother-in-laws. 

BOB: Wow!

DICK: You can’t make this stuff up.

BOB: No, you can’t Bob. No, you can’t.

DICK: Well this ought to make for an interesting game.

BOB: It sure will, speaking of, it looks like we’re about to get started. 

BOB: I don’t know about you Dick, but we’re only halfway through the second set and I think I’ve said ‘Miya’ at least 100 times. 

DICK: I couldn’t have said it better myself, Bob. I’ve said the name ‘Miya’ so much it no longer sounds like a word. 

DICK: Luckily, the Miyas aren’t the only family members on opposite sides of the net tonight. 

BOB: Oh?

DICK: Miya Kiyoomi of the MSBY Black Jackals is, in fact, EJP Raijin’s libero, Komori Motoya’s cousin. 

BOB: Let me get this straight

DICK: Sure

BOB: It’s not a volleyball match we’re watching here tonight, but actually a family reunion. 

DICK: Indeed we are. 

BOB: Most family reunions are tense but I think we’d be hard pressed to find a family reunion with so much tension.

DICK: That’s not tension, Bob. That’s sibling rivalry. Totally different. 

BOB: I’ll have to take your word for it. I’m an only child. 

DICK: And it shows, Bob, it shows. 

BOB: I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean. 

DICK: Don’t worry about it, back to the subject at hand. 

BOB: Right, so, what are the chances that so many in one family would become professional volleyball players? 

DICK: I’m glad you asked Bob. There’s a lot to unpack here. 

BOB: Unpack away

DICK: Let’s start with the cousins, Miya Kiyoomi and Komori Motoya. 

BOB: Alright

DICK: They played together throughout childhood. In high school, both Miya and Komori played for Itachiyama Institute. 

BOB: Wow, Itachiyama has quite the reputation.

DICK: Indeed

BOB: While at Itachiyama Komori and Miya were regulars at nationals .

DICK: Komori was considered the top libero in the nation during high school.

BOB: And Miya Kiyoomi was one of the top three aces in the country.

DICK: Quite the athletic family. 

BOB: Speaking of athletic families, Miya Kiyoomi married into an incredibly athletic family. Miya Atsumu, current setter for the MSBY Black Jackals, was also a star in high school and the number one setter in Japan

DICK: Wow, it’s a whole family of volleyball-playing monsters.

BOB: That's one way to put it and, get this, we’re not even through yet.

DICK: As we mentioned before, Miya Atsumu has a twin brother, Miya Osamu.

BOB: Not too much is known about Miya Osamu beyond his high school career at Inarizaki with his brother. He was a wing spiker if I recall correctly. 

DICK: Ah but you forgot, Inarizaki was also where Miya Osamu played with his now husband.

BOB: His husband!?!

DICK: ha ha ha, indeed, Bob, indeed. Who did you think Miya Rintarou was married to?

BOB: Huh, so we’re looking at cousin against cousin, brother-in-law against brother-in-law squared? 

DICK: Right you are.

BOB: Wow, no wonder the tension is so palpable tonight.

DICK: Speaking of, it looks like the third set is just about to get started here. 

BOB: It all comes down to this.

DICK: Match point

BOB: And what a journey it’s been to get here.

DICK: You’re telling me.

BOB: Nothing like a little family- uh, brother-in-law, rivalry to make things interesting.

DICK: It’s the Black Jackals with the serve and... Miya serves... it’s over the net.

BOB: Oh! Miya receives it effortlessly. No surprise there. 

DICK: And it’s right back over the net!

BOB: but OH MIYA IS ALREADY THERE. MIYA SETS THE BALL TO MIYA AND...

BOB & DICK: MIYA SCORES 

BOB: It’s the Black Jackals taking home the win tonight! What a game, Dick, what a game! 

DICK: It looks like we aren’t the only ones who think so. What’s that going on down on the sidelines?

BOB: Now Dick, correct me if I’m wrong but is that a fourth Miya?

DICK: If you’re talking about the man who just slam-dunked an onigiri into the floor, then yes, that is indeed another Miya.

BOB: Wow, three Miyas on the court and a fourth at the onigiri stand!? Never seen this before!

DICK: We certainly haven’t. 

BOB: Looks like things are about to get more interesting, eh Dick?

DICK: Let’s cut to the courtside for a closer look.

MIYA OSAMU: FUCK YOU, MIYA!

DICK: And there goes another onigiri.

BOB: Miya Osamu spikes the onigiri and IT SHATTERS into hundreds of grains of rice.

MIYA RINTAROU: BABE, WHAT THE FUCK? 

DICK: Uh, oh

BOB: A lot going on here.

MIYA ATSUMU: Aw shut up, Sunarin, ya know he didn’t mean you Miya. He meant me Miya. 

MIYA RINTAROU: Atsumu, you know full well my name isn’t Sunarin anymore.

MIYA ATSUMU: Or didja mean him Miya? Ya know, the one who scored the match point? What do you think, Sunarin?

DICK: For those listening, ‘him Miya’ refers to Miya Kiyoomi

MIYA RINATAROU: Call me the wrong name one more time and I swear-

MIYA ATSUMU: OR WHAT? WE ALREADY WON. YOU CAN’T HURT ME IN ANY WAY THAT MATTERS

MIYA RINTAROU: You know what?

MIYA ATSUMU: WHAT

MIYA RINTAROU: Fuck YOU Miya

MIYA ATSUMU: NO, FUCK YOU, MIYA

DICK: Miya Rinatrou is crossing under the net. OH- Komori is following. He looks anxious. I can’t blame him.

BOB: It’s certainly getting heated. Should someone- 

DICK: Shhh, it’s just getting good.

MIYA OSAMU: EXCUSE ME 

MIYA ATSUMU: EW NO ya know what I meant. But also, fuck you, Miya!

BOB: Miya Atsumu is advancing on Miya Osamu.

DICK: Miya Osamu seems unbothered by this development.

BOB: Indeed, Miya Osamu has armed himself with an onigiri in each hand.

DICK: This just got more interesting.

MIYA ATSUMU: SHOOT ME...DON’T BE A COWARD, MIYA

DICK: Miya Osamu takes aim

BOB: Oh but WAIT who is he aiming for!

DICK: IS THAT

BOB: IT IS

DICK: Miya Osamu is aiming the onigiri at none other than Miya Kiyoomi 

BOB: This isn’t going to end well, Dick

DICK: Yes, I think you’re right, Bob

MIYA ATSUMU: you wouldn’t 

MIYA OSAMU: Is that a gamble yer willing to take? 

MIYA RINTAROU: Babe, are you-

MIYA OSAMU: I know what I’m about, Miyarin!

MIYA RINTAROU: Godspeed, Miya Kiyoomi

DICK: Miya Kiyoomi is a deer caught in headlights; he’s backing away slowly but there’s no way he can avoid Miya Osamu’s vengeful onigiri grenade at that rate

BOB: Miya Osamu winds up and...he launches the onigiri into the air.

DICK: It’s moving with frightening speed, Bob. BUT OH WHAT’S THIS- Miya Atsumu is running- he’s jumping- 

BOB: Is he?

DICK: HE IS 

MIYA ATSUMU: NOOOOOooooooo

DICK: Miya Atsumu jumps between Miya Osamu and Miya Kiyoomi. 

BOB: IT CONNECTS. THE CROWD GOES WILD. 

DICK: Miya Kiyoomi is safe but Miya Atsumu is hit but WOW what a save!

BOB: He’s down, Dick. That’s for sure. Tough to recover from a direct hit like that. 

DICK: Need I remind you, onigiri are not volleyballs, I’m sure he’ll be fine. 

BOB: Now you've done it, Dick. The whole thing is jinxed now. Mark my words, we'll have medics down there by the end of this. 

DICK: Whatever you say, Bob. 

KOMORI MOTOYA: Um 

MIYA KIYOOMI: I’ll-I’ll

DICK: Miya Kiyoomi is backing away from the scene. Can't say I blame him. It's looking like it's about to really heat up down there.

MIYA KIYOOMI: I’ll never forget you, Miya Atsumu, and the sacrifices you made here today. But-

BOB: Miya Atsumu is trying to stand up but Miya Osamu tackles him back to the ground.

MIYA ATSUMU: Osamu, ya annoying piece a- 

DICK: He tries to push Osamu off of him but to no avail.

MIYA ATSUMU: OMI WAIT

MIYA KIYOOMI: I love you, Miya. I’m sorry but, uh, gotta go fast!

KOMORI MOTOYA: You’re just going to leave him here to die alone?

MIYA KIYOOMI: Yes. 

DICK: And there goes Miya Kiyoomi.

KOMORI MOTOYA: Kiyoomi!

BOB: Annnnd there goes Komori Motoya chasing down Miya Kiyoomi. 

DICK: Godspeed Komori, Godspeed. 

BOB: Meanwhile Miya Atsumu is up. HE’S HEADING FOR THE ONIGIRI STAND. 

DICK: Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Bob?

BOB: If you’re thinking that we’re about to witness an encore to tonight’s game, then I’m definitely thinking what you’re thinking. 

DICK: The MSBY Black Jackals might have won tonight’s game but the jury is still on out on who will come on top.

BOB: It looks like the rest of the Black Jackals are getting restless.

DICK: Right you are, Bob.

HINATA: Bokuto-san, we’ve gotta get out of here!

BOKUTO: Don’t you think I know that, Shoyo? 

DICK: It looks like Bokuto and Hinata are trying to make an escape before the fray gets too out of hand.

BOB: Meanwhile, Miya Atsumu and Miya Osamu are armed once again, onigiri in each hand

DICK: Talk about Mamma... Miya... amiright, Bob?

BOB: Oh yes, here we go again. 

DICK: Here we go again indeed. 

DICK: Miya Rintarou has walked off the court- oh wait- he’s back and it looks like he’s dragging a chair behind him. Is he-

BOB: Yes, Dick, yes he is.

DICK: Miya Rintarou is pulling up a chair and taking a seat as Miya Osamu and Miya Atsumu continue pelting each other with onigiri.

BOB: I’m surprised he isn’t trying to stop them.

DICK: Well, Bob, Miya Rintarou has known the Miya twins for nearly a decade now, I’m sure he’s quite used to this. Sometimes siblings are just...like that.

BOB: Again, I suppose I’ll have to take your word for it

DICK: And they’re off! Bokuto and Hinata are making a run for it!

BOB: Plot twist, Dick, one of Osamu’s onigiri missed its intended target and struck Bokuto across the face.

DICK: Only the good die young, Bob. Only the good die young.

HINATA: BOKUTO-SAN

BOKUTO: GO ON WITHOUT ME SHOYO

HINATA: I’ll remember you forever, Bokuto-san, and everything you taught me. Even all those years ago during training camp. Forever grateful to be your number one disciple.  

BOB: Wow! What a touching goodbye. Are you crying, Dick?

DICK: NO! There’s just something in my eye

BOB: Right, obviously. 

BOB: BUT WAIT- Hinata has been hit as well. He’s down, Dick, he’s down!

DICK: Another one bites the dust. 

BOB: Indeed

DICK: What’s this? A newcomer? 

AKAASHI: ALRIGHT

BOB: Woah

AKAASHI: THAT. IS. ENOUGH. Look around! 

DICK: Who is this guy?

BOKUTO: Akaashi!! Are you here to rescue me?

AKAASHI: Bokuto-san, please. I’m trying to take care of this. 

AKAASHI: Look around you! You are professional volleyball players! Miya Osamu and Miya Atsumu, you are wrestling each other in a bed of rice!

BOB: It’s an admirable try, but it doesn’t appear to be working

MIYA ATSUMU: It's JOHN MIYA

BOB: Oh, that's got to hurt. Miya Osamu just took an onigiri to the face.

AKAASHI: Alright, you leave me no choice. 

DICK: We don’t know who this Akaashi person is but, much like Miya Rintarou right now, he has us on the edge of our seats. What will happen next is anyone’s guess. 

MIYA RINTAROU: Shit

AKAASHI: I’m gonna say it.

MIYA RINTAROU: He’s going to bring out the big guns. 

AKAASHI: What would Kit-

BOB: OH and the newcomer takes an onigiri right in the face too!

DICK: His glasses go flying! 

BOKUTO: AKAAAAASHIIII NOOOO

BOB: Ooof, who knew an onigiri could send someone to the ground like that? 

DICK: Did you catch who threw that one? 

BOB: I didn’t, Dick, we’ll have to go to the instant reply for that one.

AKAASHI: Bokuto-san, I’m fine

BOKUTO: WHy, why, why... Akaashi

AKAASHI: Bokuto-san you have to calm down or you’re going to-

DICK: Bokuto seems to be really worked up.

BOB: Very worried indeed.

DICK: This Akaashi must be very important to him.

BOKUTO: Someone get a medic

AKAASHI: I don’t need a-

BOKUTO: AKAAAASHI! I HIT AKAASHI! WASHIOOOO!!! WHAT DO I DO?

WASHIO: This takes me back.

DICK: Oh no, Bob, it’s not looking good out there

BOB: Akaashi is down. This is not a joke folks, Akaashi is down. 

DICK: And Bokuto is losing it. 

BOB: Shit we really do need a medic down here.

DICK: Not to worry, Bob. They’re on their way.

BOB: Bokuto, in his exuberance, appears to have accidentally knocked Akaashi out with an accidental whack across the back of the head.

DICK: Couldn’t have predicted this.

MIYA OSAMU: Ya think yer such hot shit. 

MIYA ATSUMU: Yeah, that’s because I am. 

BOB: The Miya twins are still wrestling in a mess of smashed onigiris. It’s unclear if they’ll give it up anytime soon. 

DICK: Oh but what’s this? 

BOB: Komori Motoya has returned, Miya Kiyoomi reluctantly in tow. I suppose Miya can run but you can’t hide from family. 

DICK: Like sure would be easier if you could, don’t you think so?

BOB: That sounds like a trick question, Dick.

DICK: Maybe so. 

BOB: Where is Komori going? 

DICK: Well, Bob, it looks like Komori has a second target in mind. 

KOMORI MOTOYA: Miya Rintarou

MIYA RINTAROU: Hmm, yes? Care to watch the show? 

KOMORI MOTOYA: You have 12 seconds to get up and go get your Miya before I call him. 

MIYA RINTAROU: They don’t make TV like this anymore. 

KOMORI MOTOYA: Don’t pout. Akaashi might have failed but I won’t. 

MIYA RINTAROU: You wouldn’t dare. 

DICK: Do you know who Komori is talking about?
BOB: Not a clue, Bob, but judging from how pale Miya Rintarou’s face just went, it’s not somebody I’d ever want to meet. 

DICK: For sure, anyone who can instill that kind of, what, fear? Respect? Into a professional athlete isn’t someone I want to mess with.

KOMORI MOTOYA: I can and I will. 

DICK: Komori has his phone out now. This is not a drill. 

MIYA RINTAROU: Okay! Fine! How did you even get Kita-san’s phone number, what the hell? 

KOMORI MOTOYA: That’s not your concern. Now, go. And take this one with you. 

BOB: Miya Kiyoomi and Miya Rintarou are heading for the melee. Will they be able to stop them? 

DICK: Place your bets now folks.

MIYA ATSUMU: Omi, let go, I gotta take care of this! 

MIYA KIYOOMI: Believe me I would if I could. 

BOB: Miya Kiyoomi is dragging Miya Atsumu by the foot. Oh- he’s off of Miya Osamu but he’s still fighting with everything else he’s got. 

DICK: Meanwhile, Miya Rintarou has Miya Osamu in a fireman’s carry, flopped over his shoulder like a 50lb bag of rice. 

BOB: Well, that was easy. Makes you wonder why they didn’t interfere in the first place. 

MIYA OSAMU: Rin, ya gotta let me fight my own battles. Just because ya can bench press me doesn’t mean I can’t handle Atsumu on my own. 

MIYA RINTAROU: Oh, I have no doubt. 

MIYA ATSUMU: HEY

KOMORI MOTOYA: Ah-hem. 

MIYA RINTAROU: Oh, right. If you guys don’t cut it out, Komori has Kita-san on speed dial. 

MIYA ATSUMU AND MIYA OSAMU: WHAT

KOMORI MOTOYA: You have five minutes to clean up all the rice. 

BOB: It’s super effective! Whoever Komori knows certainly has these boys’ respect or fear because that has to be the quickest I have ever seen a mess that large cleaned up. 

DICK: You’re telling me, Bob. 

BOB: I guess Komori is the winner here tonight. A real surprise I have to say. 

DICK: I couldn’t agree with you more. Let’s head back down courtside to see if things are starting to calm down. 

MIYA RINTAROU: Next time you guys miss each other, could you maybe just call each other instead of starting an onigiri fight at one of our matches? 

MIYA KIYOOMI: That would make all of our lives easier. 

MIYA ATSUMU AND MIYA OSAMU: EXCUSE ME

MIYA RINTAROU AND MIYA KIYOOMI: You heard us. 

KOMORI MOTOYA: For the love of all that is volleyball, please just take them home already. 

BOB: And there goes Miya Osamu.

DICK: Back over Miya Rintarou’s shoulder like a rag doll. 

BOB: As for Miya Kiyoomi, his method is a little more unorthodox but it appears equally effective. 

MIYA ATSUMU: I’m goin’, I’m goin’, Omi! Ya don’t have to keep kicking me in the back of the calf. 

MIYA KIYOOMI: That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard in my life. 

MIYA ATSUMU: Ya know me so well, Omi-omi. 

DICK: Well, that certainly was an interesting game. 

BOB: Never thought we’d get such an exciting encore. 

DICK: I barely even remember the actual match now. 

BOB: Same, Dick, same. 

DICK: Well, that’s all we have for tonight folks but before we go, we’d like to give a quick thanks to all of our sponsors for this evening. 

BOB: And for those wondering, yes, Akaashi is doing just fine. 

[pls enjoy these memes of kita rolling up to smack these boys that give me life. thank u ghosty.]

Chapter Text

Daichi doesn’t care for cities. They’re fine for a day or two but any longer and the fluorescent haze and cacophony of sound start to weigh him down. By the third day, a dull headache throbs behind his eyes and aspirin makes no difference. It’s not the ideal situation when he’s supposed to be in town for a conference but at least Osaka isn’t as bad as Tokyo. By the end of conference day three all he wants to do is kick back, watch the MSBY vs. EJP game, and enjoy some dinner and maybe a beer or two. 

A recommendation from Akaashi leads him to a nondescript, little hole-in-the-wall bar that Akaashi assured him is quaint, quiet, and comfortable. A perfect combination. True to his word, the bar is blessedly quiet with only the low murmur of a few other patrons and, of course, the MSBY vs. EJP game on every TV. He orders his dinner and takes a seat at the bar as the announcers begin to speak, IPA in hand. 

“Sawamura? Is that ya I see? What brings ya to Osaka?” 

Daichi looks up to find none other than Kita Shinsuke, former captain of Inarizaki High two seats away. “Oh, yes, and a conference actually.” 

Kita nods. “I see. Are ya here to catch the game?” 

“Yep, what gave it away?” 

“I’m here t’ do the same. Mind if I join ya?” 

“By all means.” 

Kita slides down a barstool and orders another drink. “So, Sawamura, why aren’t ya at the game?” 

Daichi huffs a laugh. “I could ask you the same question but, uh, to be honest, I’m just a bit too tired for all the noise and excitement. These conferences really wear me out. I figured I’d be better off watching somewhere quiet. What about you? Don’t you have former teammates on MSBY?’ 

“Oh, actually I have former teammates on both MSBY and EJP. Miya Atsumu is MSBY’s setter and Miya Rintarou, though you probably know him better as Suna Rintarou, is on EJP.” 

“Right, the middle blocker.” 

Kita smiles. “Mhm, while I love t’ see ‘em play in real time, sometimes it’s nice t’ have a drink and relax while I watch. And with a game like MSBY vs. EJP, I know I’m gonna need a drink.” 

“Oh?” 

“Those boys sure do know how to create a ruckus.” 

Now that Daichi can relate to; growing up with four younger siblings and then leading rowdy, boisterous team to Nationals will familiarize anyone with chaos. 

“Sawamura,” comes a voice from behind them. 

“Ushijima?” Daichi’s head swivels around. 

“Yes.” 

Daichi blinks to get his bearings. Ushijima Wakatoshi is the last person he expected to run into at a little hole in the wall bar in Osaka of all places. 

“Want to join us for a beer? We’re catching the MSBY vs. EJP game.” 

Ushijima looks between the two of them then carefully sits on the stool next to Kita. “Sure, it could be nice to catch up with familiar faces.” 

Daichi laughs. “Just what I was thinking.” 

The bartender returns, Ushijima orders sparkling water just as the announcers pick up again. 

DICK: A third Miya, what are the chances of that?

BOB: It’s crazy, that’s for sure. 12 players on the court right now and a quarter of them are Miyas.

“That’s got to be confusing,” Daichi says.

Kita laughs. “Ya have no idea.” 

The game is intense. By far one of the most intense professional games Daichi has caught in a long time. The tension between the two teams undoubtedly amped up by the, uh, unique dynamics across the net.

DICK: It’s the Black Jackals with the serve and... Miya serves... it’s over the net

BOB: Oh! Miya receives it effortlessly 

DICK: And it’s right back over the net!

BOB: but OH MIYA IS ALREADY THERE. MIYA SETS THE BALL TO MIYA AND...

BOB & DICK: MIYA SCORES 

“That was an impressive spike there,” Daichi says. 

Ushijima shrugs. “Miya Kiyoomi is capable of a better spike than that one.” 

“But still, it won them the game, didn’t it?” 

Ushijima hums. 

“I don’t envy those announcers though.” 

Kita laughs. “Me either. Ya can only say Miya so many times before it doesn’t sound much like a word anymore. 

BOB: Now Dick, correct me if I’m wrong but is that a fourth Miya?

“That ain’t good.” 

DICK: If you’re talking about the man who just slam-dunked an onigiri into the floor, then yes, that is indeed another Miya.

Daichi has seen a lot of chaos erupt on a volleyball court but this...this is new.

“Miya Osamu, that’s no way t’ treat rice,” Kita mutters. 

BOB: Looks like things are about to get more interesting, eh Dick?

DICK: Let’s cut to the courtside for a closer look.

MIYA OSAMU: FUCK YOU, MIYA!

DICK: And there goes another onigiri.

BOB: Miya Osamu spikes the onigiri and IT SHATTERS into hundreds of grains of rice.

MIYA RINTAROU: BABE, WHAT THE FUCK? 

Correction: this is a lot. 

MIYA RINATAROU: Call me the wrong name one more time and I swear

MIYA ATSUMU: OR WHAT? WE ALREADY WON. YOU CAN’T HURT ME IN ANY WAY THAT MATTERS

MIYA RINTAROU: You know what?

MIYA ATSUMU: WHAT

MIYA RINTAROU: Fuck YOU Miya

MIYA ATSUMU: NO, FUCK YOU, MIYA

DICK: Miya Rinatrou is crossing under the net. OH- Komori is following. He looks anxious. I can’t blame him.

“Are they always this way?” says Daichi.

Kita nods, grim. 

Ushijima shudders. “I am concerned. That is no way to treat the floor of a volleyball court. They should know better. They are professionals.” 

“I can’t say yer wrong.” 

BOB: Miya Atsumu is advancing on Miya Osamu.

DICK: Miya Osamu seems unbothered by this development.

BOB: Indeed, Miya Osamu has armed himself with an onigiri in each hand.

“Shouldn’t, I don’t know, somebody do something about this?” 

Kita shakes his head, defeated. “There’s only one person that can.” 

DICK: It looks like Bokuto and Hinata are trying to make an escape before the fray gets too out of hand.

Does Daichi believe in no win scenarios? No. Not on an average day. But even he knows that there is absolutely no way Hinata and Bokuto are making it out of there unscathed. Not today. 

DICK: Miya Rintarou is pulling up a chair and taking a seat as Miya Osamu and Miya Atsumu continue pelting each other with onigiri.

“Add Rintarou to the hit list,” Kita mutters. 

“The what?” 

Kita turns to him with a grin. “Don’t ya worry about that.” 

Daichi swallows. This is not how he envisioned this evening going.

“Sawamura, you should get your hearing checked. Kita was quite clear. ‘Add Rintarou to the hit list.” 

Daichi blinks, waiting for the punchline. It doesn’t come. “Right. Okay.” 

DICK: What’s this? A newcomer? 

AKAASHI: ALRIGHT

It’s no surprise when Bokuto gets hit with Hinata following not far behind. Akaashi’s arrival on scene, however, is. 

AKAASHI: Bokuto-san, I’m fine

BOKUTO: WHy, why, why... Akaashi

Daichi grimaces when Akaashi goes down, taken out by Bokuto’s own backhand. “Yeah, that seems about right.”

BOB: The Miya twins are still wrestling in a mess of smashed onigiris. It’s unclear if they’ll give it up anytime soon. 

Kita grips his whisky glass with white knuckles. Daichi is beginning to worry that it will burst right there in his hand. 

“You alright there?” Daichi asks. 

“Fine. Just fine.” 

Daichi has never seen a less fine person in his entire life. 

KOMORI MOTOYA: Don’t pout. Akaashi might have failed but I won’t. 

MIYA RINTAROU: You wouldn’t dare. 

DICK: Do you know who Komori is talking about?

BOB: Not a clue, Bob, but judging from how pale Miya Rintarou’s face just went, it’s not somebody I’d ever want to meet. 

“Do you know who Komori is talking about?” 

Ushijima shakes his head. “I’m afraid I do not.” 

“Kita?”

Kita’s mouth is twisted in a frown, an image of a man who’s seen things he’d really rather not. 

“Oh, I know who he’s talkin’ about.” Kita pulls out his phone. He waits. It does not ring. 

Daichi hazards a look at the TV screen where Osamu and Atsumu are on their knees, cleaning up the shattered onigiris under the watchful eye of Komori Motoya. 

Kita slaps some money down on the counter. “Well boys, I have some important, uh, business, to take care of that’s rather time sensitive.” He nods. “Pleasure catchin’ up with ya.” 

Daichi watches as Kita’s retreating back until he exits the bar and is gone. “Hey, Ushijima?” 

Ushijima hums. 

“Do you think we should go after him?” 

“Kita is a grown man. I think he can handle himself. He only had two drinks.” 

Daichi shakes his head. “I’m not worried about that,” he hisses. “I’m worried he’s about to go murder the entire Miya family.” 

Ushijima frowns. “In that case, yes, we should go after him.” He steals a look at the door that Kita exited moments ago. “Quickly.” 

DICK: Now I don’t know about you, Bob, but I am really looking forward to today’s post-game interviews. 

BOB: Really couldn’t have said it better myself, Dick. 

DICK: Are you nervous after what we saw down there on the court? 

BOB: With you here, how could I be nervous? 

DICK: Gotta say, Bob. That’s a lot to take in. A lot to take in indeed. 

BOB: If they start throwing more onigiris I will, of course, use you as a human shield. 

DICK: Obviously. 

BOB: But what are the chances of that? 

DICK: Impossible to say with the Miyas. 

BOB: If nothing else, we certainly learned that this evening. 

DICK: Oh- it looks like they’re coming in now. 

BOB: Hinata, may we have a word? 

HINATA: You can have as many words as you want!

DICK: Right, thank you. 

BOB: Tell us, were you worried? 

HINATA: About winning? No, I don’t worry about stuff like that. I just go out there and play as best as I can. 

DICK: Sorry, we should have clarified. 

BOB: Were you worried when Onigiri started flying?

HINATA: I’m always worried when there is more than one Miya in a room. 

BOB: But-

DICK: There are two Miyas on MSBY. Does that mean you’re worried all the time?

HINATA: Yes, wouldn’t you be worried? 

BOB: Um

HINATA: If you aren’t a little concerned then you have no sense of self-preservation. 

DICK: Uh, alrighty then. Thank you for your time, Hinata. 

BOB: Always great talking with you. 

HINATA: Thanks! 

DICK: Oh here comes the man of the hour.

BOB: Komori Motoya

DICK: Komori, if we may-

BOB: That was some impressive Miya wrangling out there. Where did you perfect your technique? 

KOMORI: I grew up with Miya Kiyoomi. Or as I like to call him, the most dramatic man I’ve ever met. 

BOB: Really? 

DICK: I surely would have thought that title would go to Miya Atsumu. 

KOMORI: Miya Atsumu wishes he could hold a candle to Miya Kiyoomi. 

BOB: Right, okay then. 

DICK: Congratulations on, uh, successfully managing all those Miyas out there today. Can’t imagine what the state of this place would be if you weren’t there. 

KOMORI: Not what I wanted to win tonight, but I’ll take it, I guess. 

BOB: That’s the spirit.  

BOB: I think. 

DICK: Lovely chatting with you, Komori. 

BOB: And may the rest of your evening be far more relaxing. 

KOMORI: Thank y- Oh shit. 

KITA: Excuse me. 

BOB: Uh-

KOMORI: Well, I gotta go. They’re on their way out of the locker rooms. Or at least Rintarou is. Bye!

KITA: That saves me from having to ask you two where the Miya clan is, now if you’ll excuse me, I have some business to attend to. 

DICK: Wait, are you- 

BOB: -the one Akaashi and Komori threatened to call? 

KITA: Yes. 

DICK: Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Bob?

BOB: Are you thinking that the show isn’t over? 

DICK: Why, Bob, it’s like you read my mind. 

BOB: Ah Kita, right?

KITA: Yes.

DICK: The Miyas are due for their after-game interview any moment now. 

KITA: Is that so? I suppose I’ll wait here for ‘em if it’s all the same to you.

BOB: It would be an honor. 

--several moments later--

DICK: And here they come now! The men of the hour. 

MIYA ATSUMU: WAIT

MIYA OSAMU: Is that-

MIYA KIYOOMI: Yes. 

MIYA RINTAROU: Oh my god. 

MIYA ATSUMU: Omi, Samu, Miyarin, IT’S EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!

BOB: Hold it there Miyas.

DICK: After the scene out there the least you can do is give us two minutes of your time for the post-game interview. 

KITA: Sounds like a reasonable request to me. 

MEIAN: I agree. 

MIYA ATSUMU: Holy shit when did ya even get here? 

DAICHI: Oh thank god he hasn’t killed them yet. 

USHIJIMA: They are indeed still alive. 

KITA: Ah, hello again, gentlemen. 

DICK: Who are you? 

BOB: Dick, get your head in the game, that’s Ushijima Wakatoshi

DICK: Yes, thank you but I meant the other one. 

DAICHI: Oh uh

HINATA: CAPTAIN! 

MEIAN: Uh-

HINATA: I didn’t know you’d be here! 

MEIAN: I’ve been here the entire time. Did that onigiri rattle your brain? 

HINATA: Not you captain. Him captain! 

BOB & DICK: Captain?
DAICHI: Ah, I think that’s me. Hinata, you know you don’t have to call me 'captain' anymore, right? It’s been almost ten years. 

HINATA: No can do. You, Ennoshita, and Yamaguchi are captains for life. I don’t make the rules. 

DAICHI: Right, okay. 

MIYA ATSUMU: Aww, that’s adorable. Ya still all yer captains ‘captain?’

DAICHI: We have this conversation twice a year, without fail. None of us have ever been able to convince him, or Kageyama, otherwise.

MIYA ATSUMU: Like I said, adorable. 

DAICHI: It’s something. 

USHIJIMA: Don’t sound so defeated, Sawamura. You should be honored. 

USHIJIMA: Hinata From the Concrete, it is good to see you. Many familiar faces today. 

HINATA: Hi, Ushiwaka!

BOB: What the hell is going on? 

DICK: I wish I knew, Bob, I wish I knew. 

BOB: What will happen next is anyone’s guess. Nothing about this day has been predictable. 

KITA: Right, that reminds me. 

KITA: MIYAS 

MIYA ATSUMU: SHIT SHIT SHIT RUN 

MIYA RINTAROU: I’ve done enough running. I’ve accepted my fate. 

MIYA OSAMU: Why are ya like this?

MIYA KIYOOMI: Let’s just get this over with. 

MIYAS ATSUMU & OSAMU: IT WAS HIS FAULT

BOB: I don’t know about you Bob but I’m starting to feel like we’re intruding on something. 

DICK: Buckle up Bob, I think we’re in for a ride. 

KITA: Whose fault, did ya say? I didn’t catch that. 

MIYA RINTAROU: RIP

KITA: Zip it, Miya. 

MIYA RINTAROU: You got it, boss. 

MIYA OSAMU: Don’t give in that easily!

MIYA KIYOOMI: Some of us have a sense of preservation.

MIYA ATSUMU: What’s that supposed t’ mean!

MIYA KIYOOMI: Exactly what it sounds like, Miya.  

KITA: That’s where yer all wrong. 

KITA: Both of ya could have stopped these two from treatin’ my rice like that but what did ya do? 

KITA: It’s not a rhetorical question. I’m waitin’ for an answer. 

MIYA RINTAROU: I pulled up a chair. 

KITA: And?

MIYA RINTAROU: And watched. 

KITA: That's what I thought. 

KITA: And you?

MIYA KIYOOMI: I ran away. 

KITA: Ya ran away. 

KITA: Yer gonna have to accept the same consequences as them. 

MIYA RINTAROU: Samu- 

MIYA OSAMU: Yeah, Rin?

MIYA RINTAROU: It’s been nice being married to you. Sorry, it has to end this way. 

MIYA OSAMU: Over spilled rice. 

MIYA ATSUMU: I’m sorry too. 

MIYAS OSAMU & RINTAROU: No one asked you. 

MIYA ATSUMU: HEY! There's no need t’ be rude about it!

KITA: Miyas.  

DICK: This has taken a turn.

BOB: I’ll say. I’m starting to feel like we’re watching an execution. 

DICK: This is some really touching stuff. 

BOB: Are you crying? 

DICK: Yes, how can I not, we’re about to lose a third of the Japan National Team to an onigiri fight! 

BOB: Take my hand, Dick. Together we’ll make it through this. 

DAICHI: What the fu-

USHIJIMA: Sawamura-

DAICHI: Right, Shit, Kita you can’t kill them over spilled rice. 

KITA: Kill them? 

USHIJIMA: Sawamura is right. We need them for the national team. 

DAICHI: That’s not the poin- you know what, okay, that’s also a reason why you can’t kill them. 

MIYA ATSUMU: Can ya hurry up and get it over with, Kita-san? I don’t think Bob and Dick over there can handle much more of this tension. 

BOB: He’s not wrong. 

KITA: Kill ya? I ain’t gonna kill ya. 

MIYA KIYOOMI: You’re not? 

KITA: No! 

DAICHI: Then why did you power walk out of the bar like you were about to do just that? 

USHIJIMA: You did say something about consequences. 

DICK: It’s really heating up in here. I am on the edge of my seat. 

KITA: That’s right. The next weekend ya’ll have off, yer comin’ down to the farm and yer gonna learn how to treat and respect rice. Eight hours, out in the field, with me. Do. You. Understand. Me? 

MIYAS FOUR: Yes, sir, understood, sir. 

KITA: Good. Now go home before ya cause these nice fellas any more trouble. 

MIYAS FOUR: Yes, sir. Goodbye!

KITA: Now, Sawamura, Ushijima, I’m thinkin’ it’s about time for another whisky if ya would like to join? 

BOB: Well that sure was...

DICK: Something? 

BOB: Couldn't have said it better myself. I don’t know about you Dick, but I’m exhausted just from watching all this go down this evening. 

DICK: Me as well, Bob, me as well. I’d say it’s about time we turn in. 

BOB: Well folks, that’s all we have for you this time. Stay tuned. If there’s one thing we’ve learned tonight, it’s that nothing in Japanese professional volleyball is predictable on or off the court.