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Daisy had been so out of it lately. I mean hell, she died, and then came back to life. Sure she joined the ‘Died and came back club’ but she didn’t think that was much of an accomplishment. Looking around the base, she saw just how happy everyone was.
Coulson and Daniel were gathered in a corner, probably talking about SHIELD history or something. Jemma and Fitz were introducing Alya to everyone in the team. Mack and YoYo were sitting on the couch together, just happy to be back home. Everyone seemed so happy, so why couldn’t she be happy.
She stepped out of the room, knowing that nobody would even notice. She walked ally he way to her bunk, thinking that she was safe. Daisy had sat down on her bed, looking at everything one last time. She got up, and rummaged around in her drawers. When she found what she was looking for, she went straight to the gym, because it was on the other side of the lighthouse, far away from her team.
She got to the gym, and took one long look around. Breathing in deep, trying to keep the tears at bay. She placed the gun up to her temple, waiting to pull the trigger. She was about to, when a concerned voice interrupted her.
“Daisy, put the gun down”
Daisy turned around. Seeing May, she freaked out.
“May, I can’t. I can’t cause you anymore pain. All I do is cause pain.”
May had tears in her eyes now. She walked up to daisy, and took the gun out of her hands.
“Daisy, you don’t have to do this. We can get through it together.”
And as soon as May said that, Daisy collapsed, crashing into Mays arms, tears streaming down her face.
“Your okay baby. No one is gonna hurt you. It’s all gonna be okay. I’ve got you. Breathe in, breathe out”
Daisy listened to May, calming down a bit. Once the whiling had stopped, she was able to start talking to May.
“Daisy, honey. Is everyone okay? What’s going on in that head of yours?”
Daisy doesn’t know how to comprehend what she is thinking out into words. But the truth had to come out at some point.
“It’s just that ever since we got back from space, I feel like I just don’t feel like I’m good enough, that I will never be happy.”
“Daisy where is this coming from? Did something happen while you were facing Malick?”
Daisy averted May’s gaze, contemplating what to say next. She didn’t think May was ready to hear what the truth was, but she didn’t want to lie to anyone anymore.
“Ever since Coulson died, I’ve felt like part of me is missing, like nothing will be while again. Seeing you die in that temple proved that. I thought I had moved on, and put it behind me, but turns out I didn’t. That night, I thought I lost everything, but then we jumped back in time, and Coulson was there again. I realized that no matter what, I would always be dragging someone down, just because I want to be noticed. I can’t keep causing you pain, you don’t deserve to be dragged down with me”
Daisy had started crying quietly again, but May still noticed. Trying to comfort the girl, she started rubbing circles up and down Daisy’s back, whispering soothing words in her ear.
“Daisy look at me.” May put her finger under Daisy’s chin, forcing her to look up at her. “You will never drag me down. I am always here for you, no matter what. You are the closest thing I have to a daughter, and I don’t want to give that up. You mean everything to me. I know it seems impossible to get through now, but it will get better. I promise. But please don’t ever think for a second that I don’t care about you.”
Daisy had started crying again, pulling at May’s shirt, trying to keep her hold on this world. May understood where all of this was coming from, because she felt the exact same way after Bahrain. Pushing everyone away so that nobody drowned in her wake.
After what seemed like hours, daisy finally got the courage to tell May what was on her mind, since the day she got back from Afterlife.
“Do you remember when you told me that you hoped Jiaying was everything I hoped for her to be? Well she wasn’t, she never was. I just thought that since she was my birth mother, that we would have a connection, but that never happened. You told me that you hoped she was everything, but that spot was already filled, by you. You were my mom. Even tho you didn’t get me till I was 24, you still have always been my mother. You have been there for me in every situation. You have comforted me when I am upset, and you have always been by my side. You died in that temple, and I thought that my world was gone forever. I already lost my father, I couldn’t lose my mom too.”
May had started to tear up at that, but kept her emotions in check, not wanting to make Daisy more upset.
“Daisy, you will always have me. No matter what, I am always here for you. I love you so much baby”
“I love you too mama.”
After a couple minutes of just sitting in a comfortable silence, they got up, and headed back to the common area, where the rest of the team was still gathered. Daisy still had a couple tears running down her face, but May had wiped them away with her thumb. As soon as they caught sight of Daniel and Coulson, they had walked over to them. Daisy had wrapped her arm around Daniels waist, placing her head on his shoulder.
“Daisy are you okay?”
“Yeah I’m fine, just been an emotional roller coaster, but it’s all good”
May gave Daisy a small smile, just happy that she was alright. They didn’t know what life had in store for them next, but one thing was for sure, that they would be there for each other every step of the way.