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She’s not sure what woke her, but then again, considering how much her mind had been racing with questions, Beau was surprised she had even dozed off in the first place. Glancing around the interior of the dimly lit dome, Beau saw five other slumbering forms and slowly sat up, lifting a hand to rub her fingers over a bleary eye. Blinking to clear the haze of sleep, Beau took a deep breath in through her nose, holding it for a second as she took account of who was present, and more importantly, who was not.
Exhaling softly through her mouth, Beau rubbed her hand into her under cut, pushing her loose hair over to one side of her head and slowly stood up, grabbing her cloak as she went.
Deftly climbing over Fjord and exiting the dome, Beau pulled the cloak around her shoulders and held it cinched closed at her abdomen with her hands as the wind picked up immediately, sending a chill down her spine. The sky was clear though, and she could see a seated form on the top of the knoll they were tucked in against. Walking quietly up, she sighed as she approached, knowing Yasha may not have heard her, and wanting to at least give her an opportunity to know she was no longer alone.
Yasha didn’t react to Beau’s approach, and Beau didn’t want to overstep, so she remained standing, running a hand through her hair to flip it over to one side again after it had been ruffled by the wind.
“I’d ask if you’re okay, but I don’t really feel like any of us have the energy to keep up appearances right now,” Beau sighed as she spoke, her voice rough with sleep and emotional exhaustion.
“I would agree with that,” Yasha replied softly, turning her head to glance up at Beau. Her brow furrowed as she took in the monk and how she was dressed, “You should go back to the dome where it’s warmer.”
Beau smiled gently and dipped her head before replying, “I appreciate the concern, but I don’t think any of us should be alone right now.”
Glancing away from Beau and out into the darkness, Yasha straightened her back and rolled her shoulders before replying, “I’m not sure I’m the best company to be around at the moment.”
“We don’t have the talk, yunno,” Beau answered quietly, trying to find a way around being told off.
Yasha turned her head back and quirked an eyebrow at Beau’s wording. Beau felt a flush creep up her neck as she realized and stumbled into her next sentence, “I….fuck…” Sighing, she ran another hand through her hair nervously, “D’you wanna go for a walk?”
Yasha allowed a glimmer of a smile to appear before tilting her head in conciliation and stood up, grunting slightly as she rose. Beau wasn’t sure if Yasha was humoring her, or actually wanted to be around her, but was glad for the company either way. She didn’t want to be left to her own thoughts at the moment, and knew that if she could identify that it wasn’t healthy to be on her own, than Yasha definitely shouldn’t be. Walking down the hill and past the dome, they made their way towards the path they had trekked through the grass when leaving the main road.
As the minutes ticked past, and they quietly walked beside one another, Beau could feel nervous energy buzzing within her to say something, anything, really, and knew that if Yasha wasn’t too deep in her own head, she would probably notice. As it was, Yasha didn’t speak, and Beau felt like a spring was slowly coiling around them. Maybe it was all in her head.
She honestly didn’t want to crowd Yasha if the barbarian needed space, but was finding it increasingly difficult to stay away.
She felt a little like a moth. She was pretty sure the flame wouldn’t burn.
Exhaling deeply through her nose, Beau dropped her hands from hugging her sides and intentionally tried to make her body relax as they walked. Tilting her head back a bit to look up at the sky, she focused on listening to the crunch of the dry grass beneath their boots. It was comforting to hear; two sets of boots, walking nearly in tandem, the night sounds hushed around them, a world away from the day’s events.
It was then that Beau felt a hand slip into her palm, fingers threading between her own. She folded her fingers down almost instantly, tightening her grip without looking, and felt the tension that had been building ebb slightly.
Her shoulders loosened, and Beau felt as if her limbs unlocked as she relaxed into the touch, hearing a sigh come from Yasha. Out of the corner of her eye, Beau watched Yasha’s head dip forward, her eyes shut for a moment before opening again as they continued walking.
They finally came upon the main traveling road the Nein had steered off of to bed down for the night and came to a stop. Beau knew travelling south would bring them closer to Molly’s grave, and she desperately didn’t want to walk that way, so she tugged gently on Yasha’s hand and they turned north.
Their pace wasn’t fast, and the change in sound was almost more hypnotic, as they had now fallen into step together, the packed earth of the road a softer sound under their boots. Beau slowly tuned out the crickets, night creatures, and the wind as she focused on their footsteps.
Here they were, up to their eyeballs in questions about the Eyes of Nine, fairly certain they were the newest recruited group sent off to die for Vess’s goals, and hours away from learning that Molly’s body wasn’t underground anymore, but walking around, with who knows which personality setting active, and all she could focus on, in this moment, was that fact that Yasha was holding her hand.
It was torture.
Sighing to relieve some of the rebuilt tension in herself, Beau felt a reflexive squeeze at her hand, and glanced over at Yasha again.
Yasha looked over at the movement, and slowed to a stop in the road.
“Some days are harder than others,” Yasha spoke softly, her gaze over Beau’s shoulder, “But I think it’s easier with you all.”
Beau nodded encouragingly, not wanting to disrupt the barbarian’s thoughts.
Turning to face Beau more fully, Yasha continued, “I’ve been alone a long time, but the Stormlord…” She broke off, sighing, dropping her gaze to Beau’s shoulder, “He seems to want me here, with all of you. And I think being here is good for me. So I’m trying,” Glancing up finally, Yasha made contact with Beau’s gaze, and Beau inhaled sharply at the emotion in them, “It’s not easy, but I think it’s working.”
Beau exhaled shakily, feeling emotion prick at her. “I think it’s working for all of us, Yash.”
Yasha rolled her lips inward, a nervous tick, and Beau suddenly felt like the space between them was too charged for the moment. She was too emotionally tapped out to even insinuate anything, but felt like their world was a swinging pendulum, and she desperately needed grounding.
“Can I…” Yasha began, only to falter, and Beau flicked her gaze over Yasha’s face, trying to understand what the barbarian was struggling to put into words. She felt like Yasha was trying to grapple with a similar need, and suddenly thought that maybe being around each other really was making them better.
Dropping her gaze to Yasha’s sternum, Beau released Yasha’s hand from her grip and stepped forward, letting her body sink against the taller woman, feeling arms come around her almost immediately. Sighing deeply, Beau wrapped her own arms tightly around Yasha’s midsection, one hand lifting to clasp onto a strong shoulder blade. Beau felt Yasha’s hair tickle against her undercut, and then a cheek was pressing against the top of her head. Beau felt Yasha relax into her, holding Beau tightly to her body, a shuddering exhale blowing out over the top of her head.
The tension Beau had kept sensing seemed to vanish, it’s cloying tendrils dissipating nearly instantly, and in its place, Beau heard a softly murmured, “Thank you, Beau,” near her ear.
Closing her eyes, Beau felt herself settle. The pendulum slowed, and she held on.