Archive of Our Own

It was a late Friday afternoon, and Seungmin was staring at his roommates empty bed when a knock sounded on the door, startling him out of his thought process. Oh that’s right, Jeongin would come over, he thought as he stood up and opened the door, greeting his friend. 

“Yo.” Jeongin greeted him back, stepping inside. “Hyunjin not here?” 

“No.” Seungmin shook his head. “He’s on a date.” He did his best to stay neutral saying that, but he had the feeling Jeongin saw right through him. 

“Again? With the same person as last time?” His friend questioned.

“No, they rejected him… You know how it goes.” Seungmin sighed. 

Hyunjin was his roommate and he was objectively very handsome, so naturally he got asked out a lot. Hyunjin, being the absolute sweetheart he was, was too nice to reject them, always agreeing to a date to see if things would click or not, but apparently that wasn’t what his dates wanted, because he always came back dejected because he got turned down. There were always dumb excuses like that he was being too serious, too dramatic, too open, too emotional, wanted to go too slow, that kind of nonsense. Seungmin didn’t understand those people, all the reasons Hyunjin got turned down for were all the reasons Seungmin liked his roommate so much. 

Hyunjin was unapologetically himself even though he cared so much about what other people thought, you’d think those two things didn’t go together, but somehow Hyunjin made it work perfectly. Seungmin hated how all those rejections made his friend feel insecure about himself, because no matter how many times Seungmin would tell him he would have rejected them otherwise and they were just looking for a hot boyfriend to show off, Hyunjin couldn’t help but overthink things sometimes. It made Seungmins chest tighten painfully every time. 

“So you’ll have to comfort him again tonight?” Jeongin pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Probably, Hyunjin mentioned the girl wanted to meet at her place, so yeah…” Seungmin nodded.

“Ah, I see.” The younger made a face and plopped down on Seungmins bed. “So when are you going to ask him out? Show him how it’s done?”

“ Me ?” Seungmin felt heat creep up his neck even though he knew this question was coming. He sat down next to Jeongin and sighed. “Why?” Was all he could bring out.

“ Why? ” Jeongin looked at him as if he just asked what one plus one is. “Because you actually care about Hyunjin as a person! You just can’t shut up about how amazing his personality is, and you know him better than anyone else. You know how to make him happy! You always manage to cheer him up after his failed dates, you listen to his worries and can talk for hours with him about deep stuff to stop him from overthinking things by himself… Do I need to go on?” 

“No, no, that’s enough.” Seungmin felt himself get warmer thinking about it. “But those things don’t mean he likes me in a romantic way. It just means I’m a good friend. He doesn’t owe me or something.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m just saying it’s worth a shot to ask him out, you’ve been pining for long enough.” Jeongin shrugged casually. “It’s not like he’ll say no, he never says no.”

“I know, but…” Seungmin fidgeted with his sleeves a bit. “But I’m his roommate. That’s different. If I screw things up, things might get awkward or something. And if I hurt him… I’d never forgive myself.”

“You think you’ll hurt him? I have to laugh.” His friend let out a fake laugh. “But really, you two are so damn close, you understand each other through and through. I can’t imagine you won’t find a solution.”

That was a valid point, but still Seungmin didn’t feel completely at ease. “But if he likes me, or already likes someone, why would he agree to go on all those dates?”

The younger let out a deep sigh. “You two think too much… I don’t know, maybe he thinks you don’t like him, maybe he doesn’t realize he likes you, maybe he just doesn’t want to reject people although he doesn’t plan on getting something serious out of it, maybe he’s waiting for you to say something, maybe he needs courage to ask you out but it gets crushed after every date. You pick, you’ll never know if you don’t ask.”

Damn it. Why did Jeongin have to be right sometimes? Seungmin let out a sigh too. 

“I know, it’s just… I feel like if I ask him out after he gets rejected, I’m, like, taking advantage of the situation, you know?”

“Then don’t ask him then .” Jeongin said simply. “And don’t say he’ll have found another date by then. There’s room for more than one date in one’s schedule, and who knows, maybe he’ll even cancel everything for you.”

“Ugh, don’t get my hopes up…” Seungmin groaned and shook his head. “Enough about this. Let’s do some homework, which is what you came here for.” 

“Boring…”

After Jeongin had left, it was already well into the evening and Hyunjin hadn’t returned yet. Hyunjin usually texted when he was on his way back so Seungmin knew he was okay. It wasn’t like they didn’t trust the people Hyunjin went on dates with— although one time Hyunjin almost got robbed on a date— it was just to be sure. They always both said, better safe than sorry. 

It was getting late when Seungmin finally got a text from Hyunjin. 

‘Hey, I’m omw back now, sorry it has gotten a bit late but you can already go to sleep if you want.’

‘If you weren’t sleeping already.’

Seungmin stared at the texts for a moment, feeling conflicted. Maybe the fact that it had gotten late meant that it had gone well? On one hand Seungmin hoped that that was the case, but another selfish side of him hoped that it had been fun, but it wasn’t worth repeating— and that they hadn’t done… things . 

Seungmin quickly discarded those thoughts and typed out a reply to Hyunjin. 

‘Okay, thanks for letting me know!’

‘I’ll wait for you, it’s no trouble.’

He closed his phone and let out a sigh before getting up to wash up before bed. It wasn’t the first time a date had gotten late, but still every time Hyunjin told Seungmin he could go to sleep and every time Seungmin declined and waited for him. 

When the door slowly opened, it was a sight Seungmin unfortunately had gotten used to. Hyunjins head appeared to see if Seungmin was sleeping already and he let out a small ‘ah, you’re still awake’. Seungmin could already see the, unfortunately all too familiar, sad glint in his eyes that told him how the date had gone, but still he would ask. 

“How did it go?” He walked over, ready to take his friend into his arms as always.

“Oh, yeah, uhm, you know… same as always...” Hyunjins whispered, carding a hand through his long hair, letting out a shaky breath, and Seungmin saw all the signals that he had to hug the other right now, so he did.

Hyunjin immediately returned the hug and tucked his head in the crook of Seungmins neck, making the younger stumble backwards a bit before squeezing his friend tight. They stayed like that for a while, Seungmin softly stroking over Hyunjins back while the taller warmly breathed on his skin. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Seungmin asked after a moment. 

Hyunjin loosened his grip and backed away a little. “Oh, uhm… it’s late, we don’t have to.” He smiled apologetically and Seungmin knew he was saying that because he felt like a burden, which made Seungmin just want to punch a window or something. 

“You know I don’t mind talking, right?” Seungmin tried to catch Hyunjin’s gaze to convey his seriousness. “I’m not that tired, so if you want to talk about it, we can.” 

“Yeah?” Hyunjin looked at him and Seungmin smiled and nodded.

“Of course.”

“Okay, uhm, I’ll just wash up real quick. I’ll be back in a minute.” The older rushed towards the bathroom, and he was right that it only took a minute— or had Seungmin been spacing out?— before he returned.

Seungmin opened his arms as he lay on his bed, inviting Hyunjin in his arms, and Hyunjin gladly accepted, cuddling up in Seungmins arms and laying his head on his chest. 

“Tell me how it went, Jinnie.” 

Hyunjin sighed. “Well… at first I thought it was going pretty well, we were just watching a movie she had picked out, which was a movie I happened to like a lot— so I thought that was good, but then she seemed to be kind of bummed out that I liked the movie and was excited to watch it..? She said I was paying too much attention to the movie and not her, but when I wanted to talk to her about the movie, she didn’t seem that happy either…”

Seungmin nodded and hummed throughout the story to signal he was listening.

“Anyway, I thought the date would be over after that, but she insisted I would stay over for a late dinner, so I did. We just ordered something, and I thought it would be nice to get to know each other a little more, and she seemed relatively fine with just chatting for a while, but it looked like she wasn’t really paying attention. Then she suddenly tried to kiss me, but I wasn’t ready for that yet…”

Ah, there it is… Seungmin thought, the inevitable sign they were just drawn to Hyunjin by his looks and nothing else.

“So I thought the date would end there , but the food had just arrived so I guess she let me stay to be polite. Then she asked if I wanted a drink because she ‘definitely needed one’, but I said I don’t drink, and you know what she then said?” 

“No, what did she say?”

“She said ‘so everyone was right.’.” Hyunjin let out a dry chuckle. “I asked her to elaborate, and she went on a whole rant about how everyone told her I was boring but not boring enough at the same time, I couldn’t get hints, would talk way too much, but still be frustratingly beautiful. She said ‘I thought I could maybe make a difference, but damn you’re difficult’ and the only thing I could think of was to just apologize, but then she asked what I really wanted with all these dates, and I said that I just wanted to give people a chance and see if things clicked, and she was like ‘so you really don’t do it to just make out with people or get some action out of it?’ and I was like ‘no?’, and she was like ‘are you sure?’ and looked at me like I was some crazy guy or something.” Hyunjin was just rambling, and he sighed before he continued again. “She said I was even worse than the stories made me out to be and said that this wasn’t how I was going to find someone. She then left me alone while I finished my food, saying ‘I have suffered enough today’ which I think I wasn’t supposed to hear? So I, like, ate it as fast as I could and then she kicked me out, already on her phone with her friends to tell them how things went, and I, uhm, like almost got lost on my way home, but yeah. That was it.”

Seungmin was quiet for a moment, processing the horrors of that story. He absolutely couldn’t believe people could treat Hyunjin like that, that people were so close minded that they couldn’t even give Hyunjin a chance, even if they intended to have, like, a one night stand or something at first. 

“I just feel like… I don’t know, like I’m a hopeless case or something.” Hyunjin whispered, tightening his grip on Seungmin. Seungmin could tell he was close to crying.

“No, Jinnie, don't say that…” He stroked his hand over Hyunjins arm. “You’re absolutely not a hopeless case, whatever people say. Those people just want you for your looks and then are surprised there is a real person with feelings and a personality involved. You and those people just want different things so it doesn’t work out, but that absolutely doesn’t mean you’re hopeless. You’re amazing, Hyunjin, you really are.”

“Thanks, that makes me feel a bit better, but you don’t have to lie for me, Seungmin.” Hyunjin mumbled. 

“No, I’m not lying— Hyunjin, look at me.” Seungmin sat up a little and gently cupped the others face to make him look at him, and he felt himself soften when he saw Hyunjin's curious look. “I really think that you are amazing. It’s the loss of those people to reject you immediately, because you’re an amazing friend and I bet you would also be an amazing boyfriend. You’re funny, you’re a good listener, you’re sweet, you laugh a lot, which always brightens up the room, you’re a hard worker, you’re open and not afraid to be vulnerable, which makes you strong, you’re passionate, and a lot more. Yeah, you can be naive sometimes, or be a little dramatic, you overthink things sometimes and you sometimes care too much what other people think, but no one is perfect, and your flaws are what make you you, and what counts is that you try to work on them and that’s exactly what you do. So no, I’m not lying when I say you’re amazing, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

Hyunjin looked at him in awe, and in the faint light Seungmin could see and feel that Hyunjin's cheeks were as warm as Seungmin's own. It was silent for a while as they just stared at each other, Hyunjin's awestruck look slowly morphing into a grateful smile, mirroring the fond smile on Seungmin's lips. 

“Seungmin…” He whispered leaning into the hand that was unconsciously stroking over his cheek, and Seungmin wondered if he was hallucinating the stars that shone in his eyes, or if they were just reflecting the stars in his own eyes. 

Seungmin blamed Hyunjin's natural pull on him and the fact that his eyes were just too easy to get lost into for making him slowly move closer. When there was only a tiny sliver of air left between them, Hyunjin lost his balance above him, making their faces hit each other in a not so elegant way. They immediately shot back. Shit—

"Sorry, sorry, uhm—" Hyunjin stuttered. 

"No! Uhm, it's okay, uhm—" Seungmin wasn't doing any better. "I'm sorry too?" Why did that come out as a question! 

Hyunjin gave him a confused look before he snorted out a laugh, causing Seungmin to let out a not-so-flattering snort of confusion, which made Hyunjin bark out a laugh, starting a giggling fit for the both of them. Seungmin didn't really understand what happened, but he was more than glad that his friend was laughing. 

"Why are we laughing?" He asked. 

"I don't know. Just— the situation, I guess." Hyunjin shrugged and hugged Seungmin again. "Thank you so much, Minnie. I feel a hundred thousand times better now. You're the best." 

A big smile sneaked up on Seungmin's lips as he felt Hyunjin snuggle up on him, engulfing him whole and making him feel all warm. 

"Anything for you." He whispered, letting fate decide whether or not Hyunjin would hear it, and if they fell asleep in each other’s arms that night, that was only for them to know.

The next morning Hyunjin woke up feeling, warm, comfortable, but a little bit stiff, as if he had slept in the same position the whole night, and he felt someone beneath him..? Oh right — Hyunjin jolted up, throwing himself off the bed.

“Oh my— Are you okay?” Seungmin quickly sat up too, he seemed very awake.

“Uh— yeah! I’m sorry, uhm, I didn’t mean to sleep on top of you the whole night.” Hyunjin awkwardly scratched his neck as he mentally reprimanded himself. You just realized last night you like him and you already manage to screw up, nice one Hyunjin. 

Yes, last night as Seungmin went off on a tangent about how amazing he thought Hyunjin was, which Hyunjin couldn’t really believe, Hyunjin realized that the one he was hoping to find every date had actually been right in front of him the whole time. Suddenly it had just clicked, and when it did, it felt right, and Hyunjin felt a little dumb he hadn’t realized it sooner with all the overthinking he always did.

“It’s okay! I was comfortable.” Seungmin chuckled and extended a hand to help Hyunjin up. “Did you sleep well despite last night?”

“I slept better than I have in a long time.” Hyunjin softened when he took Seungmins hand and felt Seungmins warmth spread to him. Of course he’s fine with it. He’s Seungmin, he seems to be fine with everything , although that doesn’t mean he would be fine with me liking him…

Despite all the kind words Seungmin always provided, Hyunjin couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t really deserve Seungmin. He felt like Seungmin was always helping him, but he could never return that. And all those dates that told Hyunjin he was absolutely not what they were looking for… No, stop Hyunjin. Pitying yourself is exactly why Seungmin has to help constantly — and Seungmin is the opposite of all those dates, he gives people a chance. He told you you would be an amazing boyfriend.

That’s right, Hyunjin decided he shouldn’t give up before even trying. He would try to keep all the advice Seungmin had given him in his mind and try to be a little confident for once.

“So, uhm, do you have any other dates planned in the future?” Seungmin asked after a while, he seemed hesitant. 

“Oh, uhm…” Hyunjin hadn’t expected the question, so he quickly grabbed his phone to check his agenda. “Oh, that’s right. I had planned a date tomorrow with one of Chan’s friends, uhm, I think he’s always at Chan’s parties?”

“Oh.” The younger nodded with a blank expression. “Uhm, maybe it’s a bad question, but... are you going to go?”

That was a good question. Hyunjin was actually kind of fed up with all the dates, he had been for a while, but especially now he realized the only one he wanted to go on dates with was his roommate. 

Thinking about it suddenly made Hyunjin very nervous. Should I just cancel everything because of this? But what if Seungmin doesn’t like me back? God… 

“Uhm… Chan mentioned he had set the date up for his friend, so I’ll feel bad if I cancel it.” Hyunjin decided on saying, it was the truth and this way he could let his realisations settle in for another day. It wasn’t like the date would work out anyway, right? 

“Yeah, okay, of course.” Seungmin nodded and gave a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I just— just keep in mind what I told you, okay? You are amazing whether your dates think so or not.”

Hyunjin couldn’t help but smile widely, hoping it would ease his friend. “I know, you finally convinced me about that. Something finally clicked for me.”

“Really?” Seungmin seemed genuinely surprised, and now his smile did reach his eyes. “ Finally .” He teased with a chuckle. “No really, that’s good, although I was ready to tell you a thousand times more. I still am.”

“Gosh, isn’t that tiring? Being so sweet and encouraging all the time?” Hyunjin laughed.

“Hmm? Pfft— It’s no effort…” The younger waved off, and Hyunjin found it really cute how his cheeks reddened. “You’re the one with the tiring job, being too nice to reject people and trying to make something of every single date, no matter how many times it has gone wrong already.”

Hyunjin shrugged, feeling his own cheeks get warmer too. “Anyway, I have some homework to do, so let’s have breakfast now.”

As they ate their breakfast, Hyunjin noticed Seungmin was being more fidgety than usual. That meant there was something on his mind.

“What’s up?” He asked.

Seungmin jumped a bit in surprise and quickly shook his head. “N-nothing! It’s nothing.”

Hyunjin pouted a little. “Come on, I can tell there’s something on your mind. Let me help you for once too?”

Seungmin’s expression immediately softened as he let out a sigh. “It’s really nothing important. Uhm, I was just thinking about how I might be able to cheer you up more, although you seem fine, but just— I don’t know, and you said you had homework so…”

“No, that’s so sweet, Minnie!” Hyunjin felt himself melt a little. Really, what did he do to deserve Seungmin? “If you want, we can do something after I finish my homework?”

“Yeah? What do you want to do?” 

“Doesn’t really matter, you can choose.” Hyunjin shrugged.

“No, you can choose for once.” Seungmin insisted. “You always have to go along with what your dates choose for you, so now you can choose— uhm, outside of the dates you can choose.”

Hyunjin was a bit taken aback by the fact that Seungmin had kind of almost referred to it as a date. Jeez, Hyunjin, he was just correcting his choice of words. “Oh, well, I don’t really mind if other people choose because then I see what they like, but in this context… Uhm, would you be okay with watching that movie I kind of watched yesterday on the date?”

“Of course! And you can tell me all about the things I might’ve missed or the things you liked after.” The younger fondly smiled and Hyunjins stomach did about five flips. 

“Okay! Then I’ll quickly do my homework so we maybe can do something you want after!” Hyunjin jumped up, feeling sudden adrenaline pump through his veins from his giddiness, his giddiness amplifying when he heard Seungmin chuckle at his sudden determination to do his homework. He could have never guessed he would feel this good after last night.

After Hyunjin had quickly finished his homework, they just watched the movie while cuddling, Hyunjin feeling comfortable enough to comment throughout the whole movie and give an elaborate speech about why he found the movie so great. About halfway through his rant he was suddenly overcome with a fear that he was totally boring the heck out of Seungmin, so he stopped mid-sentence. At this point in a date— although this wasn’t a date— the other would usually get bored of Hyunjin.

“Hm? What’s up?” Seungmin tilted his head to the side. 

“Uhm, I’m not totally boring you, right? You can tell me if I am.” 

“What? No, of course not. I want to know why you think Sasha is such a deep character.” The younger chuckled. “It’s actually really interesting what you have to say.”

“You think so?” Hyunjin gaped at his friend, could Seungmin be any better?

Seungmin nodded. “Yeah, now continue!” He urged with a laugh.

Hyunjin gladly continued his rant, and Seungmin gave his input once in a while, after which the younger was reminded of one of his own favorite movies, which they had to watch of course. So they spent their Saturday watching and talking about their favorite movies, and Hyunjin wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

“Wow, this was better than all those dates could have ever been. This is the most fun I have had in days.” Hyunjin sighed after their dinner. Seungmin always made him feel so comfortable and happy and appreciated and good , he made him feel like he wasn’t a burden or boring or everything he always felt when he was on those dates. 

“Me too.” The younger smiled, cheeks a little rosy. 

“This will definitely give me the strength to get through tomorrow if it’s the same as always.” Hyunjin decided. Seungmin had once told him that mentality is a big factor in how you feel, so Hyunjin decided that if his date would make him feel bad, he would think about all the sweet things Seungmin had said, and that he would see Seungmin after, which would definitely cheer him up. 

“That’s the spirit!” Seungmin cheered. “Wow, something really clicked last night?”

“It did! It really did.” Hyunjin agreed, sighing lovingly. 

It was sunday and Hyunjin had just left for his date. He had told Seungmin his date would be at the date's place again, but this time they were to meet in the afternoon, so Seungmin hoped this time it wouldn’t be someone hoping to get laid. Hyunjin would probably return a little after dinner.

Things were looking up, though, because the date, Jisung was his name, Seungmin remembered him from a few parties, had been set up by Chan because he and his friends wanted Jisung to go out more. Seungmin also remembered from the few times he had seen the guy that Jisung was a bit shy around strangers, but when he opened up he could be really funny and expressive, and he remembered Hyunjin laughing a lot at parties because of him. Some quirks he had seen had reminded him a bit of Hyunjin when they first met, not sure how to really interact with people, but very willing to try once they got more comfortable. Those were all good signs, and as much as Seungmin was glad things looked up for once, he couldn’t completely ignore the unsettling feeling in his stomach.

Especially after the fun they had yesterday— it had almost felt a little bit like a date— Seungmin was afraid he wouldn’t be able to handle it if Hyunjin came back excited, second dates planned and all, because yesterday had rekindled Seungmin’s hope that Hyunjin could maybe like him back. Hyunjin had been so sweet and clingy yesterday, and Seungmin knew that was just Hyunjin, but still, it felt like there had been something extra. Extra soft looks which made Seungmin feel extra warm, extra cuddles to make Seungmin extra comfortable, and extra laughs which made Seungmin extra happy.

He sighed as he sat down on his bed. There was no use in getting his hopes up nor in dwelling in his selfishness, so he decided to kill time by taking a walk and calling Jeongin to distract himself by annoying the younger. 

Jeongin seemed to see through Seungmin's act of trying to distract himself, because he had asked what was wrong and wouldn’t let things go until Seungmin spilled everything, like he always did. Jeongin seemed to know Jisung indirectly too, and confirmed that he seemed like a nice guy with no bad intentions. Seungmin was mostly glad for that, because Hyunjin’s happiness was what counted, but Jeongin of course knew Seungmin wasn’t all happy, so the younger took him out for dinner, and although Seungmin would never say it out loud, he was very grateful for the younger.

“...so then Felix totally obliterated me for the fiftieth time, and—” Jeongins story about losing games to Felix was interrupted by a buzz of Seungmin's phone. “You don’t have your phone on silent while we're out for dinner? Rude.” Jeongin put on a fake offended look.

“Shut up, you don’t have it on silent either.” Seungmin shot back and checked his messages. He froze— it’s from Hyunjin. 

“What is it?” Jeongin tried to lean over to see what was on the other's phone. “Is it Hyunjin? Read!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Seungmin waved off, trying to conceal his rapidly pounding heart. “Uhm, he says ‘Hey Min, it’s going to be a little later because we’re having a lot of fun. Just letting you know so you don’t worry. I'll text you when I'm omw back.’ .”

"... Ouch." The younger made a face, but Seungmin shook his head. 

"No! No , I'm relieved." Seungmin forced a smile. Damn it why don't I feel happy? 

"Come on, Seungmin. You don't have to fake it for me." Jeongin said. "You can't help it that you feel the way you feel, however much you beat yourself up for it." 

Seungmin sighed, Jeongin was, again, right. "I know, it's just… Yesterday felt so, like— like there could be something else between us besides friendship…" 

"There still could be! This could just as well mean they're having friendly fun, who knows." His friend tried. "Look at it as if I was set up on a date with Hyunjin. We would have friendly fun and he'd definitely stay over longer because of that." 

Seungmin snorted, okay, that made him feel a little better. "Maybe, but maybe not." 

They talked a little more about everything and nothing before Seungmin headed back. When he arrived, he still hadn't gotten a message from Hyunjin, and now he was alone, which meant he was free to overthink things and wallow in the awful feeling that settled in his stomach. 

There were a few options, Hyunjin could still be at Jisung's, not thinking about going home yet, he could have forgotten to text, he could have been robbed or murdered— okay let's not go that far. Whatever it was, it wasn't looking good for Seungmin anyway so he hoped things were as good as possible for Hyunjin. 

Seungmin shook his head and decided to distract himself, if he thought about what Hyunjin was doing any more he would probably go insane. 

Time ticked away as Seungmin scrolled some on his phone, watched some videos, and even eventually got ready for bed because he felt tired, but still nothing from Hyunjin. It wasn't that late, his date on Friday had been later, but Hyunjin had been at Jisung's for about twice the duration of his usual dates and it was Sunday, they would have class tomorrow again. Seungmin sighed and opened his messaging app again, although he knew there would be nothing because he had already checked a minute ago. Hyunjin said it would be 'a little longer', but it had been an hour since he texted that. 

Seungmin sighed. Call or message him or not? Definitely not call, he didn't want to interrupt Hyunjin's date, so message? He also didn't want to come over as an overly worried roommate, Hyunjin was his own person, but what if he was in trouble? But then texting wouldn't be very helpful, would it? 

"Gosh…" Seungmin breathed and sat down on his bed, hugging his knees and burying his head in them, trying to stop overthinking, but he couldn’t help it. He was supposed to be glad that someone had broken the chain of bad dates for Hyunjin, but Seungmin was selfish and wanted it to be him to do that. Yes, they had fun yesterday, but that wasn’t a date, Hyunjin probably didn’t see it that way, and now Seungmin was too late— Okay, let’s stop that right now. Focus on Hyunjin’s happiness, not your own, he thought, but easier thought than done. 

He didn't know how long he sat like that, trying to think about nothing and not really succeeding, but apparently he hadn't heard the door open, because he suddenly heard it close. 

"Minnie? Is everything okay?" 

Seungmin immediately straightened himself and shook his head. "Yeah I'm okay! I was just, uhm— bored, yeah. Uhm, you're back! How was it? I totally missed your text—" Seungmin wanted to grab his phone to check, but Hyunjin already spoke. 

"Oh yeah, about that, my phone had apparently died during the date and I didn't notice until I was already on my way home. Sorry, I had totally forgotten to check if I had enough battery." Hyunjin gave an apologetic chuckle. "I hope you weren't too worried." 

"No, not really. As I said, I would have probably missed your text anyway." Seungmin lied, maybe he hadn't heard the door open, but he would have definitely heard the buzz of his phone. "It's good that you had so much fun. That's why you forgot about it, right?" 

"Yeah! I had so much fun." Hyunjin's expression brightened as he began about it, leaving a bittersweet feeling for Seungmin. "At first it was a bit awkward, but when I began about my favorite dramas he got loose . And I mean loose because we talked for hours about it. He's really a sweet guy, and not to mention funny. You remember him at the parties right? He had been funny there, but it seems he's just naturally really funny or something? I couldn't stop laughing. I think I'll have aching abs and throat tomorrow, that's how much I laughed. And you know what's even funnier? We both—" Suddenly Hyunjin stopped. "Huh? Minnie are you sure you're okay?"

Seungmin had tried to nod and smile throughout Hyunjin's story, but he couldn't help but feel worse and worse as it progressed, and feeling worse made him feel even worse because he knew he shouldn't. And now Hyunjin was asking if he was okay and he was worrying about him instead of being happy about the date, which made Seungmin feel even worse. 

"Yeah! Just— just tired." He could barely speak with the lump in his throat. Damn it, why couldn't he keep it together? 

"Oh… you really didn't have to wait for me, sorry that I didn't text you." Hyunjin seemed to not completely believe him, but he didn't say so. 

"No, it's really okay." Seungmin did his best to give a reassuring smile, but when he looked in the other's eyes, something cracked inside him. "I'm— I'm glad you had so much fun—" Shit. His voice cracked too. 

"Minnie—" No, not the nickname again. That only hurt more. 

"I— I need some air." He managed to shakily get out as he walked past Hyunjin. 

"Wh— Seungmin, wait!" Hyunjin called and he was probably following him, but Seungmin didn't look, he was too occupied with getting outside with his vision blurred by tears. 

Once he got out of the dorm building he sagged down against the wall and buried his head in his arms, trying to calm his breathing and clear his head. 

"Seungmin, please talk to me. Why are you upset?" 

Of course Hyunjin had followed him all the way. 

"It's— it's not important. I— I just need a moment to get over myself." Seungmin said into his arms. "You go back— be happy about your successful date." 

It was silent for a moment, but Seungmin sensed Hyunjin was still there. 

"Don't downplay your worries, that's what you always tell me, remember?" The older sounded closer, as if he was sitting or crouching next to him. "Is… Is it something I did?" 

"No!" Seungmin looked up for a second, but it was a bad idea because he saw Hyunjin's worried face, so he quickly looked away again, leaning his chin on his arms now. "No, it's… It's no one's fault— or my fault— as I said, it's dumb. I just need to get over it." 

He felt a hand be tenderly placed on his arm. "Do you want to talk about it? That always helps for me. Maybe I can even give some comforting words, like you always do." Hyunjin's voice was so soft and gentle, it was almost unbearable. 

Seungmin knew Hyunjin was right, but he didn’t know if he could say it. "I… It's— I don't want to bring your mood down…"

"You won't." Hyunjin grabbed his hands and let out a little chuckle. "I get the feeling, though. No matter how many times you tell me I'm not a burden with my feelings, I can't help but feel like I'm bringing your mood down, but now I really see what you mean, because right now the only thing I want is to listen to what's on your mind and try to help."

Seungmin softened and let out a breath, Hyunjin was just too sweet, it was both comforting and, right now, it hurt a little. But Hyunjin was right, if it was the other way around, Seungmin would have said the same, but then again, Seungmin did feel differently about Hyunjin than Hyunjin did about him. 

"If— if it's none of my business, that's okay, but just know that nothing you're feeling is unimportant, however stupid the reasons may seem." The taller continued when Seungmin kept silent. "I won't judge, really, just like you never do."

Now Seungmin couldn't help but smile, however anxious and mad he was at himself, Hyunjin always managed to make him feel comfortable, even though he was basically feeding his meltdown without knowing. He had to just say it, get it over with so Hyunjin could go back to his own thing, and maybe it would even help him get over his feelings. 

"You're right, talking will probably help." He said, but he was suddenly overcome with nerves again. "It's just— it's kind of about you, uhm. Yeah, I like you, Hyunjin. A lot, and like, not only as a friend." He took a quick look to see Hyunjin looking surprised before he continued, feeling the tears return. "But! Obviously you don't feel the same, which is okay, but I just really want to stay friends with you because you're amazing, and I promise you I'll get over it—" 

"Seungmin." Hyunjin stopped Seungmin before he spiralled into a panic attack. Seungmin froze as Hyunjin cupped his cheeks and gave an apologetic smile, wiping away a tear that had fallen down. "I'm sorry, I'm really dumb aren't I?" 

"Huh..?" Seungmin frowned at his friend for a second, blinking away his tears. "I don't know what you're talking about, but you're not dumb." 

Hyunjin chuckled and shook his head, still cupping Seungmin's cheeks. "I am. God, I totally didn't even stop to think about how you would feel if I told you all about my successful 'date' in case you liked me back." 

Seungmin's mouth fell open. "Wait— 'back' ? You… feel the same?" 

Hyunjin smiled a dazzling and warm smile and nodded as he softly stroked his thumbs along the younger's cheeks. "I do.” He confirmed and pulled Seungmin into a hug. “I realized it way too late, only during our talk Friday, that’s what clicked among other things, but I know I've felt it for a lot longer." 

Seungmin couldn't believe it, was he dreaming? He sure felt like he was with how Hyunjin was caressing the back of his head. He just had the mind to hug the taller back, and when he did, he felt all of his pent up emotions from today resurface, so he cried into Hyunjin’s shirt and gripped him even tighter, but the tears weren’t sad tears, they were tears of relief. 

“I’m sorry I worried you so much, Minnie. I’m sorry I let you wait so long.” Hyunjin muttered as he rubbed soothing circles over the other’s back. Seungmin shook his head.

“It’s not your fault.” He pulled back and managed a smile. He wiped at his wet cheeks, feeling a thousand times better now that he let everything out, now he could fully accept that Hyunjin liked him back—

"Wait. But what about Jisung?" 

"Right, I wanted to tell you about that before I stopped myself, but maybe I should've started with it…" The older answered, and Seungmin could tell he felt a little guilty. "After we had gotten a bit more comfortable and talked about dramas, I decided to tell him that I wasn't going to be romantically interested in him and I would leave if he wanted, but he laughed, because he wanted to tell me the same thing! Can you believe that? We were both on a date with each other while we like someone else, so we just bonded about that and had a fun time, and he made me come to terms with my feelings for you more. I was actually really reluctant to go because I didn’t want to go on dates anymore, but luckily Jisung is super nice. And we decided it wasn't really a date, but a friendly hangout. I think for me yesterday was more of a date than today." Hyunjin chuckled, but frowned a little after. "But still, I’m sorry. I could've handled this better."

“No, enough apologizing.” Seungmin shook his head with a small smile and cupped Hyunjins cheeks, mirroring what Hyunjin had done before. “It went how it went and the thing that matters is that we talked to each other. I’m glad you had so much fun with Jisung that you forgot about everything else, and you couldn’t have predicted that I would react this way.”

“Luckily you still wanted to tell me.” Hyunjin sighed, his gaze roaming all over Seungmin’s face. 

“Of course. I trust you, and deep down I knew you could never react badly...” Seungmin trailed off, distracted by the overwhelmingly fond look on Hyunjin’s face. He is so beautiful, Seungmin thought. Every part of him was beautiful, and not only his looks, Hyunjin as a whole was just breathtaking. Seungmin thought he could look at the other all day long as he let his thumbs stroke over Hyunjin’s soft cheeks. 

“Can I kiss you, Seungmin?” Hyunjin whispered softly, and a small nod from Seungmin was all it took for him to close the gap between them. Seungmin was glad Hyunjin was less thinking and more action at this moment, because he didn’t know how long he would have been stuck staring at Hyunjin otherwise, despite having his hands ready to pull the other closer, and Hyunjin’s soft lips felt heavenly as they moved over his. 

He moved his hands further back until they were tangled in the other’s long locks and he felt Hyunjin’s hands come up to cradle his face and pull him even more into the kiss. They kissed until they were breathless, and after they stared into each other’s eyes for a moment more. They were pulled out of their trance when Seungmin suddenly shivered. Oh, right. We’re outside.

“Maybe we should go inside.” Seungmin chuckled and helped Hyunjin up, not letting go of his hand as they walked back to their room in comfortable silence.

When they arrived, Hyunjin quickly washed up and joined Seungmin in his bed after. 

“Huh?” Seungmin laughed confusedly when Hyunjin crawled on top of him. 

“I have the theory that I sleep better like this.” The taller mumbled sleepily, and Seungmin felt overcome by sleepiness too now that the adrenaline of the confession had faded. 

“Hmm. We’ll have to test that theory then.” Seungmin mumbled back, swinging his arms around the taller. He kissed his cheek. “Good night, Jinnie.”

“Good night, Minnie.” Hyunjin smiled and returned the kiss before collapsing on top of Seungmin. 

Seungmin smiled as well. He had Hyunjin in his arms, knowing he felt the same, and they probably had made a new friend, and that all had happened in about one weekend. He was happy, and with that feeling he slowly drifted off to sleep.