Work Text:
A summer night, stars shining bright, the night sky covers Yokohama like a big black blanket.
Yokohama, it truly is a beautiful city, filled with lights that shined at night, people who came out for late night walks, and it’s serenity. It’s dark side…it’s beautiful too. Beautifully dark. Yokohama’s dark side looms over the whole city. People not going only for a late night walk, but for a late night kill, among other various illegal acts.
One can view all of this from the highest rooftop. The one viewing tonight is, Nikolai Gogol. His eyes watching the city while he sits at the edge of a rooftop of a red brick building. However, he isn’t here on any of Dostoevsky’s orders tonight. The city lights seemed as if they were glaring at him, he averts his eyes to the sky.
“When am I ever going to be as free as a bird?” he asks the night sky. He knows it cannot reply, but is there really anyone else around to ask that question to? He watches how the stars shimmer. ‘Are those stars actually free? Or are they just being held prison by the sky?’ he asks himself internally. He comes off as sadistic and ruthless, a clown who laughs at others misery. His hands are stained with blood. But is that how he wants to be seen?
He claims that he does feel guilty after killing people, mercilessly. It haunts him every night, the blood, the screams of people he tortured, the gore. Is that what a free bird should feel? Should a free bird hear such agony filled screams? ‘Maybe, I don’t deserve to be a free bird.’
He is not a free bird. He is a caged bird. He stuck in a cage. locked by an invisible force. He is a bird who is weighed down by guilt and various other heart-wrenching feelings. ‘I am not free.’ He looks on in yearning to be free of all this, to be free. When is he going to be able to spread those wings and fly into the never ending freedom that will embrace him? He envies those who fly in the sky, only because he wishes for the same, yearns for the same.
The stars that he stares at, they’re held in place for the rest of their long lives. But what if they’re enjoying the serenity? This night will be the only serenity he enjoys. ‘What a painful existence it is, to not be able to fly freely.’ he thinks.
He is kept in a cage, too small and it’s suffocating him. He tried to be free once before, but never succeeded. ‘Why must I live, no exist in such a world where I cannot have freedom?’ he sighs.
Nikolai feels his side vibrating, it’s his phone. He takes it out of his pocket and looks at the screen. “Dos-kun…” “Hey, Dos-kun!” he says feigning optimism. “I have a job for you to do Nikolai.” ‘Of course you do’ he says in his mind.
He listens to what ‘job’ he has to do and says goodbye to Dostoevsky for now, of course with a cheery tone. He sighs heavily and puts the phone back in his pocket. Standing up, he looks once more at the sky. He leaves the rooftop and becomes a part of the dark side of Yokohama. Knowing he has to assassinate someone, he also knows he’s a caged bird.