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“Place into microwave,” Pickles read.
“Like...all of it?” Nathan, holding a bag of pizza rolls, asked as he stared at the open microwave.
“No, because wes can’t eats all of thems,” Skwisgaar said.
“I’m pretty hungry,” Murderface said.
“There ams 500 per bag! How hungry ams you, fatty?” Skwisgaar scoffed.
“You don’t have to be an asschole about it! I juscht think we should make enough so that we don’t have to make more later!”
“But wes might be hungry later,” Toki said. “Thens we makes more anyway. So it doesn’t matters!”
“Okay, okay,” Nathan said. “We put the whole bag in, and save what we can’t eat, okay? Is that good enough for everyone?”
Nods all around.
“Alright,” he sighed gruffly, and shoved the bag into the microwave, forcing the door of it to shut. “Now what?”
“Their website says ya gotta put it on for fifteen minutes for the whole bag,” Pickles continued to read off his phone.
“Got it,” Nathan pressed the corresponding buttons on the microwave’s side, and stood back as it started. “So, do we wanna like watch something while we eat?”
“Wes could talk,” Skwisgaar offered.
“We’re talking now,” Murderface said. “How much talking do you need to do in a day? Jeschus, this guy...”
“You ams just mads I calls you out on wantings to eat 500 pizza rolls!”
“I’m scharing them with you jack-offs! How could I eat them all if I’m scharing?”
“Oh, excuse me, so you woulds be eating 495 pizza rolls,” Skwisgaar replied with a roll of his eyes.
“That doesn’t smells like pizza,” Toki interjected, peering towards the microwave. “Smells like plastics.”
“Maybe that’s part of the process!” Nathan said. “The plastic melts away, and then the rolls come out and-”
Their ears rang as the microwave exploded, the door popping off its hinges, the plastic of the bag of pizza rolls flaming.
A klokateer swept in to put out the fire with an extinguisher, then swept out with the mess of the pizza roll bag and the microwave in his arms.
They stared in silence for a moment.
“What a dick,” Nathan grumbled. “He didn’t even offer to make us any other food.”
“Well, we got four more microwaves,” Pickles said. “If he doesn’t come back, we’ll try again! We got a bag of bagel bites we could try instead...”
---
Upstairs, Charles frowned and sighed at the note from the klokateer:
Please place an order for five more microwaves. The first one from the kitchen is destroyed, and I believe the other four will be destroyed shortly as well. Thank you.
P.S: Why haven’t we just taught them how to order pizza? I’ll volunteer to do it, even. Please let me teach them, for the sake of the kitchen.