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Iwaizumi had been pacing from kitchen counter to sofa to front door for the last ten minutes; teeth worrying his bottom lip as he waited for Oikawa to arrive. This night was a long time coming, they needed this and it would be perfect...
He released a heavy breath.
Oikawa had left the training gym thirty minutes ago, he knew this only because Hinata had posted them catching the train together.
Counter, sofa, door. Routine pausing only slightly to adjust a cushion, an obnoxious alien piece normally banished under the stairs. He had had the set up laid out for around an hour, but he was just making sure. He ran it through: the bread from the specialty place on market street, his corner of their sofa plumped out with blankets and Iwaizumi had even brought out their ancient DVD machine to play those conspiracy videos they had watched together as kids.
Yes. This would go well.
Oikawa hadn’t been able to come home the last couple of weeks due to away training, sponsorship meets, and then of course various media commitments popped up. And of course those had to be attended by Japan’s starring setter. It couldn't be helped.
Thoughts startled at the sound of another set of keys jangling against the apartment door, Iwaizumi felt briefly frozen to the spot before quickly righting himself and assuming an ill-balanced half-lean against the countertop. He barely winced now as he heard the predictable crash of the door handle against the increasingly dented wall, the poor hinges squeaking in protest. A muttering Oikawa steps into the apartment.
He is toeing off his trainers and kicking them haphazardly by the doorway as Iwaizumi takes him in. He had on a coat that he hadn't seen before wrapped tightly around his frame, probably by some upcoming designer, but of course he hadn't a clue which. It looked nice. Although some may say the intended professional effect is somewhat ruined by the handmade scarf clumsily wrapped all the way from lower neck to just above his nose; Iwaizumi’s breath still caught at the sight of him.
Oikawa lets out a short huff of a laugh ‘Ah, I always forget how light the doors in this place are.’
After spending a few moments unravelling himself from his travel clothes, Oikawa finally turns to face Iwaizumi properly.
‘I’m back’ he announces alongside that signature dazzling smile: all bared teeth and stretching wider than some well-trained dental model, it made Iwaizumi half-flinch.
Despite this hesitance, his chest on instinct still lurches towards Oikawa, as if the two were irreparably magnetized.
Iwaizumi clasps onto him, letting go of a breath he hadn't known he'd held onto. His hands looping together around Oikawa’s back in a firm and reassuring lock. In turn arms wrap loosely over Iwaizumi’s shoulders, leaning into him. Iwaizumi only briefly registers the other's touch, busy pressing himself against his boyfriend’s chest in the silence of their rarely shared apartment.
Oikawa breaks it.
‘God I’m exhausted’ he sighs out, extracting himself from Iwaizumi’s grip and navigating towards the kitchen; not that he'd helped stock it in weeks. The fridge light washes the dimmed room white. Iwaizumi just stands and watches as those perfectly calloused fingers grip a bottle and tip it into that perfectly pursed mouth. It feels as if he’s watching an advert. One of the one's Oikawa had become known for. And now here he was getting the same view. How lucky.
The finished bottle is put down where Oikawa knows Iwaizumi will move it to the recycling later.
Heavy-lidded eyes then turn to him and the two regard each other for a moment; in the light. The volleyball player takes the first step forward. Iwaizumi tracks Oikawa's hands as they come to rest around his waist and knows if he looked up Oikawa would be looking down at them too. He had always liked Iwa's waist.
‘I’ve missed you… Hajime’ is breathed out in a whisper above him before that mouth quickly descends on his neck.
- 'At least this is always familiar' was the thought that crossed Iwaizumi's mind.
Later, between the space of their entangled limbs he wonders if he had really had missed him. Any tears are excused in-between their bedsheets.
Afterwards, Iwaizumi moves to get out of the bed, prompting a half-lucid Oikawa to grunt lightly - though any protest is quickly assuaged by Iwaizumi’s promise to be right back. Collecting his previously-pressed clothes off of the floor he moves toward their attached bathroom. The clothes are neatly hung up on a rail before he turns towards himself in the mirror. Red marks track from inner thigh right up to a spot under his ear; a place only Oikawa has ever touched. He finds himself pressing onto that one, unconsciously trying to feel out something through the mark. When he can’t find it, he presses harder, now digging for sign that it still holds a part of them there. He huffs a short laugh at his reflection before dropping his hand.
His chest then tightens as he inhales shuddering breaths between his choked laughter. There is no need for this, it's not practical to be upset- is the mantra repeated to himself. Splashing his face with water and shrugging on the t-shirt and boxers, he left the reflection to itself.
Keeping his head down, Iwaizumi pads past his boyfriend's sleeping form and into the kitchen living space. Turning on the lights above the sofa area, he pauses briefly at the set up as if just remembering it was there. Nodding slowly to himself with eyes closed he realigns his steps towards the sink to pour himself some water. Once the glass is half full he brings it up to his lips, hand quivering slightly with his shortened breath. He sets it down untouched.
Then, as if moving on automatic he turns back to the living area and takes apart what was left of the evening. The old school DVD player is put away first, back in the carboard box to put under the bed. Then he finds himself diligently unmaking the sofa corner and blankets. It’s not until he lifts the stupid alien cushion off the seat that he notices the tears falling onto the fabric. Though he doesn’t make a move to wipe them away. Finally, he picks up the plate of milk bread intending to put it aside for another time. However, as he turns back to the kitchen, arms full, his eye catches on that poorly knitted scarf thrown around their coat stand; a gift his grandma had given Oikawa years prior for ‘looking after her grandson’. And he just can't stop his knees giving out under the weight of it all. The plate crashes to the ground, ruined. Iwaizumi clutches at his chest, still trying to hold in a long-building broken sob.
Oikawa runs into the room, clad only in boxers and eyes wide with concern. Upon seeing Iwaizumi, collapsed on his knees in the middle of the floor, he scrambles over- pushing the ceramic shards away from the heaving figure whom had either not noticed or more likely, didn't care.
‘Hajime? Hajime, babe? What happened?’ Oikawa pulls him in close to his chest and cups his face in one hand .
What had happened? Iwaizumi’s brain supplied. What had happened - to them? This wasn’t what they were meant to be. He had always been able to keep up with Oikawa, matching him pace for pace towards whichever victory was next. He's sure that's how he had kept the brunette's attention for all these years. Of course, realistically he had known that Oikawa could pull ahead without him, go places Iwaizumi couldn't follow. Now, Iwaizumi felt as if he could barely make out the back of that stupidly styled hair as it faded into the distance and Oikawa wasn't even hesitating or thinking to look back. His breath started coming in shorter bursts as he folded into himself tighter.
‘Shhh it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. See me? Hajime, I’m here. I won’t go anywhere. Look I’m here’ Oikawa repeats placing Iwaizumi’s hand over his heart.
-Flashback-
The two are laying across a tiny dorm bed, legs tangled together. Oikawa is playing with the spiky tufts of hair on his boyfriend’s head- which is currently resting heavily on his sternum.
‘You still awake Iwa-chan?’
Iwaizumi huffs in response before pushing himself up slightly, so that he could look into his boyfriend's mirthful eyes and soft smile.
‘I can’t sleep because your heart is beating so obnoxiously loud. Idiot.’ he says poking Oikawa's chest, but there was no malice behind the words, only that familiar teasing, built up over years of toying with one another.
In response, Oikawa rests his hand on top of Iwaizumi’s and presses it down firmly, above his heart.
‘Only for you.' And, despite the ridiculously cheesy line, his eyes conveyed the sincerity of his words, alongside that special wonky smile that Iwaizumi knows is only kept for him. The shorter man leans effortlessly forward and kisses him deeply before pulling away with a small laugh ‘You’re gross’. He puts his head back on Oikawa’s chest and listens to the heartbeat, considering it...For him. Iwaizumi then silently puts Oikawa’s hand to his own chest and presses it there, mumbling back ‘Only for You’. They fall asleep there; hearts given to one another.
-End of Flashback-
Iwaizumi’s breathing slowly evens out as he comes back to himself, wrapped in Oikawa’s arms. Then, while keeping his head tucked, he tentatively reached for Oikawa’s hand between their bodies and brings it to his chest. Pressing it there, in a small voice he promises again, ‘Only for You’.
Iwaizumi then raises his head to match level with Oikawa. Oikawa's chest lurches at the sight of Iwaizumi’s tear-streaked face but more than that he's caught by the the almost defiant stare directed at him. It was a clear message, but not one Oikawa had seen coming. He was waiting, challenging him to not say it back and offering a way out, as if already leaden with the assumption Oikawa had had enough.
At this realisation, Oikawa's brow knitted together in self-frustration, chest dropping and tears pricking at his eyes. He had done this. Lost sight of Iwaizumi as he pulled ahead, something he had repeatedly assured his partner he wouldn't do, letting this slip by him. And now look at them. He knows that he hadn’t been around as much, he’d said yes to extra practice whilst Hajime was waiting and didn't even think to push against the company’s decision to up those silly foreign publicity stunts. But it had meant taking him overseas, sometimes for weeks at a time. He had been so excited to be living his dream and playing volleyball on a world stage, that he'd forgotten about his dream of doing it all alongside Iwaizumi. Instead he was here, faced with a rigid stare, unyielding despite the tears tracking down his love's cheeks, feeling his own heart crack.
Oikawa stretches out, bridging the fractured gap between them to lift Iwaizumi’s hand and press it firmly into his chest. Trying to convey as much as he could through his firm hands, resolute eyes and the watery smile, he rasps out ‘Only for You’. Iwaizumi's body wracks out a relieved shuddering sob at the response, matched by a stuttered exhale from Oikawa. They collapse inwards, their foreheads leaned against one another and breathing unified. Although knowing that this would take time to mend, as Oikawa’s hand lifts to stroke Iwaizumi’s face, wiping tears aside with his thumb, and capturing Iwa's mouth in a kiss, they knew they'd get through this. After all, their hearts are only for each other.