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The sun was lazily rising over the horizon, and Obi-Wan closed his eyes to take in the warmth that met his skin. It was a beautiful planet that he had settled on. One of peace, of serenity…
Of loneliness.
Obi-Wan sighed deeply as the sorrow in his heart flared, his ever-present grief after That Day making him feel even more hollow than usual. He could still feel the loss in the Force, the many lives that had helplessly been snuffed out. It ached to think about how many friends and allies he had lost on that day.
But it ached even more to know he couldn’t even see if his son was alright.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes against the grief, one hand going to stroke his beard. It had been three years to the day since he had lost his son to the Dark, to a monster that had forced him in chains. It had been three years since Obi-Wan had been unable to save the child he had raised.
Three years since he had last seen Anakin.
He didn’t even know if Anakin was even alive , their bond having snapped just a little after Obi-Wan left Mustafar. He didn’t know if it was Anakin himself who did it, or the interference of the Emperor. If it had been the latter… Obi-Wan would loathe to think of the pain Anakin - his son - would be in.
Obi-Wan let his face rest in the palm of his hand, a shuddering breath leaving him. The last moment he’d seen Anakin, had been when he’d held his son in his arms after cutting off his legs . It was still a moment Obi-Wan loathed, that he’d been unable to protect the both of them from harm. That he’d hurt his son, even if Anakin had forced his hand so neither of them would die.
It was all so cruelly messed up, and Obi-Wan didn’t even know how to deal with all of this. He was tired and aching, and the Dark kept creeping in at him in moments like these. It was both a familiar comfort by now, and a lull that threatened to pull him deep within its pools.
Some days, it was terrifying. Other days…
Other days he halfway longed to let it consume him, let his eyes forever stain yellow. But that was a choice he couldn’t yet make. He had things to do, and a duty to uphold. He could not lose himself to his grief and the ache deep within his chest.
He needed to keep his promise, no matter the cost.
«Grandpa?»
Obi-Wan’s head snapped up at the sound, before he turned to look at the front door of the house. His golden-blue eyes softened at the sight, and he gave the child a soft smile. «Hey there, little one. Are you not supposed to be sleeping?»
The child shook his head, instead toddling towards Obi-Wan, who was currently seated comfortably in his chair. «Nuh-uh. Felt you were upset, so wanna stay with you.» As the child reached the chair, he held his arms up to signal he wanted to be picked up.
«Luke, I appreciate the thought, but you need to sleep. You’re a growing boy, you can’t be waking up this early,» Obi-Wan said softly as he gently picked Luke up and placed him on his lap. The child instantly cuddled up against Obi-Wan’s side, his little Tooka plush clutched in his small hands.
«But you’re sad . Don’t like it when you’re sad,» Luke responded easily, a soft frown on his little face. Obi-Wan briefly cursed Anakin and his empathic Force abilities, and how it seemed to be a Skywalker trait. Of course the one thing both Anakin and Padmé passed down to their child was their empathetic and honest natures.
«Yes, I was sad, Luke, but I will be alright.» Obi-Wan knew he very much wouldn’t be - far from it - but that was not something he wished to tell a child. Especially not one as young as Luke. If there was one thing the boy didn’t deserve, that would be having to carry the Galaxy on his shoulders.
That was one thing he had watched Anakin do, and he loathed how he’d been unable to help his son from crumbling under the pressure.
«Grandpa shouldn’t be sad…» Luke’s voice was soft as he spoke, his face pressed gently against the fabric of Obi-Wan’s robes. It tugged at his heartstrings to see his grandson like this, and Obi-Wan placed a gentle hand atop of Luke’s golden locks.
«Grandpa has gone through many things, little one. And some days, that hurts a little more,» Obi-Wan explained, his tone soft yet pained. It was always difficult to speak of this, to even hint at the past cruelties he’d experienced. Luke deserved a life away from pain and hurt, which was one of the reason’s Obi-Wan had chosen to stay on this almost completely deserted planet. It was a peaceful place for a child to grow up.
«Is it ‘cos it was my Birth Day yesterday?»
Curse Skywalkers and their perceptiveness.
«Yes, little Lukka. Today marks three years since I lost my son, and that loss hurts,» Obi-Wan slowly explained, trying to phrase it properly. «I miss him very much, your father…» It hurt to speak of him like this, but one thing Obi-Wan learned from these past years, was that Anakin was lost to him. Their bond had been snapped, and no matter how much he searched the Force, he could not find his son.
It had made the hole in his heart even greater, not knowing what had happened to Anakin. He had lost so much in those few days, even if he gained another grandson.
«Don’t be sad, Grandpa… Daddy wouldn’t want you to be sad…» Luke said after a moment of silence, one of his chubby hands going to rest against Obi-Wan’s beard. «Cal says Daddy would want us to be brave.»
Obi-Wan cannot help the wet chuckle that left him at those words, and he closed his eyes as he leaned into the child’s touch. «He says so, hm? Your brother is a wise one, and not incorrect. Your father hated to see his family sad…» Obi-Wan swallowed thickly at the memories that sprung forth, remembering how Anakin would try his best to cheer him up in those early years of his apprenticeship.
He may have hidden it over the years, but he had always had a kind heart. And whilst Luke had adopted many of his mother’s mannerisms...he still had that kind hearted and honest expression Anakin had worn as a child.
«Then let’s not be sad, Grandpa. Daddy wouldn’t want us. You said to remember him, ‘cause he’s never truly gone…» Luke continued, his face as determined as a three year old could be. «Mommy’s not truly gone, so Daddy isn’t either…»
To be as young as he was, Luke had a brilliant mind. He picked up on his lessons fast, and was always curious. He was a gift, and Obi-Wan was certain that if he did not have Luke and Cal with him, he would have been swallowed by his grief a long time ago.
«You are correct once more, young one. We should remember him, not grieve him. He is always with us, in the Force.» As he spoke, he placed a gentle hand against Luke’s chest, against his heart and the pure light that was his core. «He will never truly leave us if we carry his memory. Thank you, Lukka, for reminding me.»
Luke grinned wide at that, before he wrapped his arms securely against Obi-Wan’s neck. His grandson knew exactly what he needed, and Obi-Wan wrapped his own arms just as securely around him. «Always, Grandpa. You shouldn’t be sad…»
He could merely nod at Luke’s words, his chin going to rest on those sandy brown locks. «Sadness is a part of life, Luke. Sometimes, I will be sad, and I will miss the people that have left. But, I will remember them, and carry them with me.» He smiles warmly down at Luke, before chuckling and ruffling his grandson’s hair. «And, I have you to brighten my day, little sunshine.»
The actions caused Luke to giggle in response before he pressed his face against Obi-Wan’s tunic. They sat there for a while, just quietly enjoying each other’s presence and the slow rise of dawn.
It did not, however, take long for Luke to fall asleep. His soft snores broke the silence of the morning, but it was a welcome break. It was another proof that Anakin lived on, even if he was not here to witness it.
«You and Padmé created a wonderful little sunshine, Anakin. I wish you were here to see him, to see how much he takes after you…» Obi-Wan’s voice was just merely above a whisper, his head tilted upwards as he spoke. «You would have loved him, I am certain. Maybe, one day, you can finally see him…»
But for now, Obi-Wan would raise Luke and Cal, and keep them safe from the Emperor’s grasp. They would live a happy and peaceful life, away from all of the grief and the pain that was just outside of reach.
And hopefully...it would remain that way, with both of them out of harm’s way.
«I will protect them, Anakin. That promise, I will forever keep.»