Archive of Our Own

Seungmin was fairly sure that he could be doing at least 10 things that were more productive than hanging out here.

Parties at the CEOs house weren’t usually what he considered a fun Saturday evening, but here he was at this obligatory event for all artists under JNB Entertainment.

Even after almost eight years under JNB, he still wasn’t comfortable making small talk with other people. Whether it was about his band or how his tour was going or how he was handling it all along with the stress regarding his personal life. He knew that being a celebrity came with a lot of exposure to the public, but paparazzi were already enough. He didn’t need his nosy labelmates all up in his business as well.

“Can we leave soon?” Seungmin whined to his friend and bandmember Chris. The older was busy shoving one hors d’oeuvre after the other into his mouth and didn’t look like he wanted to leave this place any time soon. The drummer merely chuckled at his friend and pointed out that the CEO hadn’t even flaunted his new boyfriend yet and that there was no way for them to leave before that had happened.

Seungmin rolled his eyes, annoyed. He had absolutely no interest in the new young man the CEO was dating this month. They weren’t friends, so it was none of his business.

“Oh my god babe, you need to try these!” Chris exclaimed cheerfully, holding an hors d’oeuvre out to his boyfriend Minho.

“No, thanks. If I eat anything else, I will burst and ruin your boss’ pretty house,” Minho declined, feeding the appetizer to Chris instead who ate it happily. Seungmin chuckled at the couple.

They were so disgustingly in love, even though the fans seemed to ship Chris with Seungmin. If they knew that Chris and Minho were more than just best friends maybe the fans would change their minds but the two of them insisted that it was best to keep their relationship as private as possible.

Seungmin couldn’t help but envy them for that. His last relationship had been over for several years, yet it still seemed to be the most talked about topic in the tabloids (which was one of the main reasons why he avoided those cursed things).

“But seriously, can that CEO Nam finally show off his boy so we can go home?” Minho complained. Seungmin laughed, silently agreeing with his older friend. Minho was a professional backup dancer, though he rarely got to work with Seungmin’s band, Scene of Panic, considering they were a rock band.

Just as Minho finished speaking CEO Nam made his way down the stairs with a young man on his arm, both of them smiling. Seungmin’s eyes widened when they fell onto the man next to CEO Nam and he promptly hid behind a very confused Chris.

“What’s up with you?” Chris questioned; his mouth still full with the hors d’oeuvre Minho had fed him.

“Do you see that guy over there?” Seungmin hissed, though he doubted that anyone could even hear him.

“Who? CEO Nam’s boyfriend? Of course, I see him, that's the whole point. What’s your problem?” Chris asked. He looked at the young man again. “Damn, he really does seem much younger than him. Our age, maybe. He must be around...”

“Twenty-eight,” Seungmin finished his sentence for him, still hiding behind his friend’s broad shoulders.

Chris and Minho gave him weird looks.

“Do you know him?” Minho asked.

Seungmin peeked at the CEOs new boyfriend again. He knew him, alright. He just hadn’t expected to see him here of all places.

Hwang Hyunjin was the man the CEO had dating over the past few weeks?

Rumors had been going around for weeks among the artists but all everyone had said was that he was gorgeous and could be an idol if he wanted to be. Nobody had ever mentioned a name.

If they had Seungmin wouldn’t have come here.

“Seungmin!” Chris snapped him out of his thoughts, trying to turn around to face his friend but Seungmin held on to his shoulders, determined to stay out of Hyunjin’s sight. “Do you know him or not?”

Seungmin sighed and finally spoke up: “We were married...”

“WHAT?!” Chris exclaimed, effectively catching everybody’s attention. Including Hyunjin’s. His eyes locked with Seungmin’s and recognition danced across his face.

Seungmin wanted to die.

“Uh, sorry...” Chris apologized sheepishly, and the crowd soon went back to minding their own business.

“Shit... I have to go,” Seungmin said once he was sure that Hyunjin was no longer looking at him.

“You okay?” Minho asked, slightly concerned.

“Yes, I should really get home anyway,” he quickly said before storming off. He was so quick to get out of here that he almost ran into a waiter. Seungmin apologized to the poor guy and proceeded to head to the wardrobe in order to get his jacket.

He had just thanked the staff who handed it to him and was in the middle of putting it on when a voice called out to him, causing him to freeze. He slowly turned around and found his ex-husband standing there in all his glory.

“Uh... hi,” he greeted him awkwardly, cursing himself for not making it out faster.

“Long time no see,” Hyunjin said. “I was wondering when I’d run into you, considering I’m with... uh...” he trailed off.

“The CEO of my record label? Yeah, I guess it was just a matter of time,” Seungmin finished his sentence for him.

He did not want this. He hadn’t seen Hyunjin in years and this was not how he had imagined them to meet again. Um, not that he had imagined it or anything!

Hyunjin opened his mouth to say something, but Seungmin beat him to it.

“Sorry, I really have to go. Something urgent came up!” With that he was out the door, without looking back at Hyunjin.

~

Seungmin got a text from Chris just as he pulled up in his driveway.

Chris: You okay?

Seungmin: I’m okay, just surprised...

Chris: You should really read the tabloids more often

Seungmin: No, thanks

I’m not interested in that kind of stuff

Especially if it’s about my ex-husband!

Chris: I still can’t believe you never told us that you were freaking married!

Seungmin: It was a long time ago.

Chris: You sure you’re okay?

Want me to come over?

Seungmin: No. I have to relieve the nanny. Night Chris.

Seungmin didn’t wait for an answer and got out of the car, pocketing his phone before heading inside. The part-time nanny, Jeongin, greeted him at the door.

“Good evening, Mr. Kim. How was the party?” he questioned.

Seungmin took off his shoes and shrugged off his leather jacket. His hands flew up to loosen the choker around his neck and he carelessly threw it onto the sideboard right next to the wardrobe.

“Mostly really boring. I left a little early. I assume Jiyeon is already sleeping?”

“I put her to bed, but she usually doesn’t sleep until you tuck her in,” Jeongin answered.

“Alright, then. Thanks, Jeongin, you can go home now,” Seungmin told the younger man with a tired smile. He reached into his back pocket and got his wallet out, handing Jeongin 50 bucks, despite knowing that the boy would get paid soon anyway.

“Thanks, Mr. K! Good night.”

Seungmin chuckled as he watched the young nanny leave the house. He then made his way upstairs to Jiyeon’s room, carefully opening the door and peeking inside. The ocean colored night light was still burning and therefore allowed him to see properly.

Upon hearing Seungmin enter, Jiyeon sat up in her bed way too excited for someone who should have already been asleep.

“Daddy!” she exclaimed happily. Seungmin chuckled and sat down on the edge of her bed.

“Shouldn’t you already be sleeping, baby?” he asked her in a mock-scolding manner, causing Jiyeon to giggle.

“I wanted to wait for you!” the five-year-old answered.

“For me? To tuck me in?”

She giggled again. Seungmin’s favorite sound in the world. “No! To tuck me in!” she corrected him. Seungmin smiled at his precious little girl.

“Alright, then! Let’s tuck you in, princess,” he said fondly as Jiyeon lay back down and let Seungmin pull the blanket over her body.

“Can you tell me a bedtime story?” Jiyeon asked, already reaching for the book of fairytales underneath her pillow. Seungmin laughed and took the book from her.

“Sleeping Beauty again?” he asked, already knowing the answer. It was Jiyeon’s favorite fairytale after all. He had lost count of how many times he’d read it to her already.

As expected, Jiyeon was asleep within the first ten minutes. Seungmin chuckled fondly and carefully put the book on Jiyeon’s nightstand. He then leaned over her to press a kiss onto her forehead.

“Good night, my sleeping beauty,” he whispered before tip toeing out of her room and gently shutting the door behind himself.

Seungmin headed to his bathroom in order to get ready for bed. His mind wandered back to tonight’s events. He still couldn’t believe that his CEO’s boyfriend was Hyunjin of all people.

Seungmin would be lying if he said that he hadn’t wondered what had become of Hyunjin over the past few years. How had he wound up with a man almost 30 years older than him?

Seungmin shook his head, trying to rid himself of the thoughts about his ex.

He entered his bedroom and climbed into bed, ready to shut out the rest of the world when his phone rang, ruining his plans. Seungmin sighed excessively and looked at the caller ID.

It was his manager Dohyun.

“What is it?” he questioned, rubbing his temple as a headache started to announce itself.

“Since you left the party early I’m just calling to remind you to be at the radio station at 8:30am sharp tomorrow,” Dohyun said in his usual annoyed tone of voice.

“Tomorrow?” Seungmin asked, his eyes widening slightly. “I thought that was on Monday!”

“No, it’s tomorrow and you’d better be there on time!” Dohyun warned. Seungmin rolled his eyes at the empty threat.

“How am I supposed to do that? I have to drop my daughter off at her mom’s tomorrow at 9!”

“That’s hardly my problem, Seungmin. Drop her off early, call her nanny to do it. Just be here! I mean it!” Dohyun said.

Seungmin sighed and hung up without any word of goodbye. Now he definitely couldn’t sleep anymore. He knew that Jeongin wouldn't be free until 11 tomorrow so he was out of the question.

He had no choice but to call Jiyeon’s mother, which was always something he dreaded. He would prefer to keep Jiyeon away from her as much as he possibly could.

Reluctantly, he dialed Heejin’s number, almost wishing for her not to pick up.

“What?” Heejin’s loud, annoyed voice came from the other side of the line. Seungmin heard loud music and people shouting and he rolled his eyes. “This better be important, Seungmin!”

Seungmin huffed. “Wow, you sound like a concerned mother right there. Yes, Jiyeon is fine! Don’t even worry,” he said sarcastically.

“Shut up, what do you want?” Heejin snapped.

“I need you to take Jiyeon an hour early tomorrow. I have an early schedule,” Seungmin told her through gritted teeth. He hated asking Heejin for favors, knowing that she would just use it against him any chance she got.

“Got your schedules mixed up, huh? And you call me the irresponsible one,” Heejin replied smugly. Seungmin rolled his eyes once again for what felt like the millionth time today.

“I’m not the one slurring my words right now!” he retorted. “You know what, just forget it. I’ll figure it out, you sleep it off first!”

He hung up, again without any further words and even more pissed off than before. He wondered why he had even bothered calling Heejin in the first place. The woman was a mess since she had started partying and doing drugs again. Seungmin couldn’t wait to sue her for sole custody because Park Heejin was no role model for a little girl.

Unable to sleep, Seungmin scrambled out of his bed. He made his way downstairs and to his basement slash studio where he picked up his guitar. He sat down on the old barstool he’d stolen from a junkyard three years ago.

Seungmin started playing, though he didn’t have a specific melody in mind. Sometimes just strumming his guitar calmed him down enough. It helped him pass the time and just let go of all the problems he had.

~

Before Seungmin knew it, it was 7am. With a sigh he put his guitar aside and ran a hand through his red hair. So much for going to sleep...

He decided to let Jiyeon sleep for a few more minutes and decided to shower and brush his teeth first. By the time he finished it was 7:30am, so he decided to wake his daughter. He figured before he let Heejin’s drunk ass pick Jiyeon up he’d rather take her along to his radio interview. She was always excited to play in the dressing rooms and the band’s team all loved her.

Jiyeon was a morning person, so it didn’t take Seungmin long to wake her up and serve her breakfast. She made an excited noise at the sight of bacon and eggs which was her favorite. Seungmin watched her eat with a fond expression on his face.

“Jiyeon, do you want to come along to work with me today?” Seungmin asked her. She looked up from her plate, her big brown eyes curious.

“With your band?” she questioned and Seungmin nodded.

“It’s been a while since you’ve seen uncle Jisung, right? Do you want to see him today?” he asked her. Jiyeon nodded enthusiastically.

Jisung was the band’s bassist and something like Jiyeon’s unofficial godfather. Jiyeon absolutely adored him and while Seungmin knew that his friend was of rather wild nature he trusted him with his daughter. He trusted all of his members with her.

“Okay then, let’s finish breakfast and get you ready to go!” Seungmin said.

~

Once Jiyeon had finished her breakfast and Seungmin had brushed her hair and dressed her the two of them made their way outside. The band’s van would come pick them up and take them right to the radio station. Later, the group would have another schedule in Incheon but by then Jeongin would hopefully be free to take Jiyeon.

“Jiyeon!”

Seungmin froze in the middle of his doorway when he saw who was staggering up his driveway. His jaw tightened the next moment. Jiyeon made a noise of excitement.

“Mommy!” she shouted, running off towards Heejin who looked like she hadn’t even slept and had just come straight from whatever party she had been to. Heejin crouched down in front of her, almost loosing her footing, especially when Jiyeon gave her a hug. “You smell weird, mommy,” she said with big innocent eyes.

“Sorry baby, mommy came straight from work,” Heejin said. Seungmin had to suppress a snort. Work. Right.

“Heejin, what are you doing here?” he asked instead, rubbing his temple in annoyance. He saw the group van pull up and Jisung peeking his head out curiously.

“What do you mean? I’m here to pick up my baby girl!” Heejin said, ruffling Jiyeon’s hair.

“You’re–” Seungmin cut himself off, throwing a glance at his daughter. “Princess, can you go wait in the car? Look, uncle Jisung is over there!” he addressed her, unable to hold back the fond smile when Jiyeon squeaked at the sight of her favorite uncle. Jisung stepped out of the van and caught the little whirlwind as she ran towards him in excitement.

Seungmin faced Heejin again, his expression turning serious again.

“Are you seriously still drunk?” he hissed at her.

“I’m not fucking drunk, Seungmin! I came here to take my daughter home!” Heejin argued, staggering a little as she rose back to her full height.

“Did you drive here?”

“Uh, obviously? I live in another part of town; do you expect me to take the subway?” Heejin snapped. Seungmin almost couldn’t believe his ears.

“Un-fucking-believable. I’m calling a cab for you. Go home and don’t even think about coming back here before you’re sober, I swear to god!”

“Seung–”

“No, I mean it, Heejin! What you do with your own life is your business, you've made that clear to me, but I’m not putting our five year old daughter in the same car as you when you’re drunk off your ass!” Seungmin interrupted her sharply.

This was exactly why he didn’t trust her. She needed help, that much was clear. She had already been to rehab once before Seungmin had met her but ever since she had relapsed, she had done a 180, insisting on not needing to go back and having things under control. Seungmin had tried everything to salvage their relationship, mostly for Jiyeon's sake and partly because he genuinely cared for Heejin's well-being, but eventually he had reached his breaking point.

Seungmin called a cab before finally also getting into the van where the guys were entertaining Jiyeon. All eyes fell on him when he sat down next to Changbin, the keyboardist, with a grumpy expression.

“You okay?” Chris asked him. He nodded wordlessly.

“Where’s mommy?” Jiyeon questioned. 

“She wasn’t feeling well, so she’s going to come back another time,” Seungmin told her, reaching out to squish her cheek. Jiyeon pouted but Jisung immediately took it upon himself to pull one funny face after the other so it didn’t take long for her to laugh again.

“Are you really okay?” Changbin asked in a low voice, only loud enough for Seungmin to hear.

“I’ll tell you about it later. I don’t want Jiyeon to overhear,” Seungmin whispered back. Changbin nodded and faced Jiyeon again, giving Seungmin time to sink back into his seat, heaving an exhausted sigh.

~

When the van stopped in front of the building of the radio station, Seungmin got out first before picking Jiyeon up into his arms. He wanted to shield her from the paparazzi as much as possible; his protective instincts taking over.

Moments like these; cameras clicking, strangers shouting questions about his child or her mother at him, trying to get as many pictures for their stupid tabloids as possible, they reminded him that this was why he mainly kept Jiyeon out of the public eye.

Heejin liked to show her off like a new piece of clothing or a fancy sportscar. Seungmin liked to keep her safe.

He breathed a sigh of relief when they had finally made it inside and he could set Jiyeon down on the floor, taking her hand.

“We need to go into hair and make-up. Can you ask someone to keep an eye on her?” Chris questioned, looking around for the staff that had followed them. The band's assistant seemed to appear out of nowhere, smiling down at Jiyeon.

“I can take her until you’re done with the interview,” she told Seungmin who nodded gratefully, crouching down to get on Jiyeon’s eye level.

“Go with this nice auntie and be good, alright princess?”

“Where are you gonna go, daddy?” she questioned, not seeming too pleased at the prospect of having to part ways with him.

“I’m going to get pretty for the interview, darling. It shouldn’t take too long, okay? Go have some fun; can you do that for me?” he asked, taking her little hands into his own. Jiyeon smiled and nodded before giving him a cute little peck on the nose that had everyone around them cooing. Seungmin chuckled and gave his daughter a hug before entrusting her to the assistant.

“Alright, let’s go,” Seungmin said turning back to the rest of his band who looked at him fondly. “What?”

“Nothing, you’re just adorable with her,” Changbin said, patting his back and keeping his arm around Seungmin’s shoulders.

~

The interview went smoothly and when they were done, Jiyeon was already waiting for Seungmin in the dressing room. His manager pulled Seungmin aside before he could get to her though, a stern expression on his face.

“Did you have to bring her here?” he asked in a scolding manner.

Seungmin raised a bemused eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. “You said I should take care of it. My nanny wasn’t free, and her mother is unreliable as hell. My daughter always comes first, Gunho, you know that,” he retorted sternly.

He walked over to where Jiyeon was already occupied with Jisung who had her in his lap, tickling her with one of the makeup brushes.

Her joyous laughter filled Seungmin’s heart to the brim and part of him wished he could bring her along to work more often. Another, more reasonable part, however, kept telling him that this was no environment for a child. When he thought about what the industry had done to Heejin, who used to be a sweet girl not unlike her daughter, Seungmin wanted to shield Jiyeon from the world forever.

Seungmin shot a text to Jeongin, asking him if he was free to pick Jiyeon up. The boy seemed surprised but luckily, he wasn’t busy.

“Jeongin is going to come pick you up soon, princess. I already asked him to take you to the amusement park. Would you like that?” Seungmin asked, taking a seat next to Jisung.

To his surprise, Jiyeon pouted. “Why aren’t you going there with me?”

“I’m sorry, baby... I would love to go to the amusement park with you but I’m really busy today,” Seungmin told her, feeling apologetic. He hated having to leave her behind, but the band had to go to Incheon for a jacket shooting and he really couldn’t take her along there. Those places were much more hectic than radio stations and he’d much rather have someone look out for her in a more suitable environment.

“How about we go to the amusement park together when we’ve got our next day off?” Jisung offered, promptly getting the little girl to smile again.

“Are you gonna come along, uncle Ji?” she asked enthusiastically.

“You bet! I’m going to buy you all the cotton candy you can eat!” Jisung promised. Seungmin wanted to throw in that promising to buy her too much cotton candy probably wasn’t the best idea but, he let her have at least that little triumph.

“Seungmin?” The assistant peeked her head into the dressing room. “Your nanny is here now.” She shot a small smile at Jiyeon before leaving the room again.

“Did you hear that? Jeongin is here,” Seungmin said, getting up and reaching a hand out for Jiyeon to take once she had slipped off Jisung’s lap. “Say goodbye to everyone,” he said, smiling as Jiyeon waved goodbye to the band and the staff.

He led her to the lobby where Jeongin was waiting, looking like he had just gotten out of a lecture. Jiyeon ran towards him excitedly, all her earlier dismay about Seungmin not being able to spend time with her long forgotten when she spotted the college student.

“Thanks for taking her today. Her mother was... otherwise occupied,” Seungmin said, trying not to sound too bitter at the thought of Heejin.

Jeongin smiled and waved off. “It’s no problem. I had time to kill anyways,” he said. Seungmin hardly believed that, considering he was a college junior but he was grateful to the boy for making time anyway. He reached into his back pocket and fished out a $50 bill.

“Here for the amusement park and a little extra for you for taking her last minute,” Seungmin said.

“You don’t always have to pay me extra, Mr. K. What’s my paycheck for?” Jeongin laughed, taking the bill nonetheless.

“You’re doing good work, Jeongin. And I can hardly let you pay for the amusement park out of your own pocket!” Seungmin retorted before addressing his daughter. “Alright, have fun at the amusement park today. I’ll see you at home later,” he told her, crouching down to kiss her cheek and hug her. “And don’t eat too many sweets!”

He watched with a little ache in his heart as Jeongin led her away, wishing that he could just ditch his responsibilities and be with her. His manager was ushering them back into the van, still seeming pissed off about literally everything but visibly relieved of not having a five-year-old around any longer.

Once the band was all set inside the van all Seungmin wanted to do was to lean back and maybe get some shut eye, he hadn’t slept all night after all. His bandmates ruined those plans for him though.

“So,” Chris spoke up, causing Seungmin to open one of his eyes again, “what happened with Heejin this morning?”

Seungmin sighed, not wanting to think about that woman any longer than he had to. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the stunt she had pulled this morning, although he supposed he shouldn’t be too surprised. Drunk driving unfortunately wasn’t the wildest thing Park Heejin had ever done in all the years he had known her.

“I called her last night because I originally wanted her to come and pick Jiyeon up an hour early because I’d forgotten about this stupid radio interview. She was out partying, so I gave up on that. This morning she showed up and she was still drunk, so I called her a cab and sent her home,” Seungmin explained curtly.

“Wait she drove to your place drunk and had the intention to take Jiyeon with her?” Felix asked disbelievingly. Seungmin nodded grimly.

“That’s fucked, dude. Is she really not going to go back to rehab?” Chris questioned.

“She’s convinced that she’s fine and that she doesn’t need to go back. I’ve tried being reasonable with her, I've tried tough love, I've tried everything you could think of but nothing has helped. At this point getting sole custody is going to be easy, I just don’t want to break Jiyeon’s heart by keeping her from her mother. Because as much of a train-wreck Heejin is, Jiyeon still loves her...”

“It’s better this way though. In the long run,” Changbin reasoned. “And I mean you could still let her see her. Under supervision, of course.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Seungmin answered. “Can we talk about something else, though? I’m really not in the mood to discuss Heejin any further...”

“Right, there is something else I’m curious about,” Chris started and Seungmin sent him a dreadful look, already knowing where this was going to go. “You see, guys, our dear Seungmin has kept a secret from us!” Seungmin glared at Chris but it was too late; he already had the band’s attention.

“Fine,” he sighed, “I was married once, happy now?”

“What?!” Jisung, Felix and Changbin shouted in unison, making Seungmin flinch.

“To Heejin?” Felix asked in disbelief.

Seungmin furrowed his brows in irritation. “No, what the fuck. You guys were there throughout that whole thing, remember? I was married when I was 18... to our CEO’s new boyfriend...”

“WHAT?!”

Seungmin felt a migraine coming on and he regretted not getting any sleep the previous night. He almost wished he had never spilled the beans. But seeing Hyunjin again after so many years... it had simply slipped from his tongue.

“How could you keep this from us?” Jisung asked.

“Give us details!” Felix shouted at the same time.

Seungmin rolled his eyes but complied. “I don’t know what you want me to say. We lived in the same neighborhood when we were like 10 and therefore went to school together. We got together in our freshman year of high school and were deemed like the school’s cutest couple or some shit. So, on graduation day, Hyunjin was like ‘let’s get married’ and I was like ‘yeah sure’ –”

“Oh my god, can you not tell it like it was a boring movie you watched on a bad date?” Changbin interrupted him, making Seungmin roll his eyes again. It seemed as though there was no way out of this. He would have to dive head-first into the past.

“Alright, alright... so as I said, it was the day of our graduation...”

-Flashback-

“Where are you taking me?” Seungmin asked, giggling when Hyunjin only sent him a secretive wink. They had snuck away from their parents’ garden party to celebrate their graduation. It was a beautiful summer day, not too hot, just comfortable enough for a nice grill party... or a stroll through their neighborhood.

Hyunjin didn’t stop until they reached the old playground. Kids barely played here anymore. The mothers of this neighborhood had deemed the place to unsafe for their children to play. The swings had gotten rusty and the sandboxes were mainly public cat toilets by now. Seungmin took a seat in one of the swings, looking at Hyunjin expectantly.

“Marry me.”

Seungmin froze, eyes widening. Had he heard that right?

“W-what?” he asked.

Hyunjin smiled, getting down on one knee in front of the swings, even going so far as to pulling a ring from his jeans pocket. It wasn’t very fancy, just a plain silver ring but it was real. Hyunjin wasn’t kidding.

“We have been together since freshman year and I know it might seem silly to do this right now. We’re only 18, after all but I know that you’re the love of my life. I want to spend forever with you, Seungmin,” Hyunjin said. “What do you say? Will you marry me?”

Seungmin was still shocked, to say the least. A proposal on his graduation day was the last thing he would have expected but it wasn’t a negative surprise; not in the slightest.

“Yes... I’m saying yes!” Seungmin finally answered, not missing the relief washing over Hyunjin’s face before he was promptly pulled into a hug. He felt tears of joy brimming in his eyes, still disbelieving of the fact that Hyunjin, his Hyunjin, had just proposed to him.

“What are we going to tell our parents? They’re never going to allow this,” Seungmin asked once they had pulled out of their hug.

“Then we don’t tell them until it’s too late,” Hyunjin answered, grinning wide. Seungmin felt both excited and scared at the prospect of eloping. However, it made the most sense to him in that very moment. Their parents would urge them to wait until after college and now that he had the engagement ring on his finger, there was no way Seungmin could wait even a minute longer.

They were going to elope.

~

“Kim Seungmin, you did what?!”

Okay, so maybe waiting to tell their parents about their sudden marriage hadn’t been the best idea. Or maybe they should have waited until they were halfway across the country to break the news to them.

Seungmin had been too optimistic, waking up the morning after he got married to his high school sweetheart, sneaking out of Hyunjin’s place to tell his parents.

“I got married,” Seungmin said again. His mother looked like she was about to faint.

“You are 18 years old, are you out of your mind?” his father shouted at him.

“Last time I checked 18 was the legal age to get married in this country. We didn’t want to wait until after college,” he tried to explain himself, sneaking a dreamy look at his wedding ring. A plain but powerful symbol of his and Hyunjin’s love.

“Darling, we’re just concerned. You’re both still so young... it’s not going to last!” his mother tried the softer approach but Seungmin wouldn’t have any of it.

“Only because we’re young, doesn’t mean it won’t last. You were my age when you met dad! You were only three years older when you two got married!” he argued.

“But those three years made all the difference!” Seungmin’s father said. “We were more mature, we knew what we wanted in life!”

“Oh, and only because I’m 18, I don’t know what I want? I love Hyunjin. We’re going to be fine!” Seungmin said, full of conviction. His parents shared a look, like they were dealing with their petulant child. Seungmin knew they didn’t understand, and it honestly just fueled his desire to finally start college with Hyunjin.

~

The newlyweds moved into a small apartment just off campus. It wasn’t very much but it was homey, and it was theirs. Seungmin immediately loved it. He even had the perfect space to film his guitar covers which he would upload on YouTube. He didn’t expect much to come of it, but it was a hobby he was passionate about. Hyunjin even helped him editing his videos.

Not far into their first semester, Seungmin’s videos began to gain more attention. People on campus even recognized him, praising him for his voice.

Like a strike of destiny, his faculty’s band had an opening after their previous vocalist left and soon Seungmin was standing on small stages at college gatherings or in bars that had hired them. And Hyunjin would attend all his gigs, always with a proud smile on his face and a bouquet of purple roses; Seungmin’s favorite.

“I’m really proud of you, you know? My little star...” Hyunjin praised him one night as they were walking back to their apartment arm in arm.

“It’s no big deal,” Seungmin waved off, chuckling.

“No big deal? Everyone loves you; you’re gaining a literal fanbase. And I can see how much you love performing. It’s like you were born to do it,” Hyunjin said. “I honestly don’t know how you balance it with college. I can hardly manage my job at the café on top of dance classes and assignments...”

Seungmin made a face, guilt settling in his stomach. Truth be told, he had skipped some of his classes lately, handed his homework in late more often than not.

Practice took up a lot of his time and he was serious about music, had even started writing his own songs. Sure, his parents had always wanted him to study law but he was blooming on stage as Hyunjin had observed correctly.

“Just don’t forget me when you’re famous,” Hyunjin joked, pecking his cheek.

“How could I ever forget about you? You’re my favorite person in the world,” Seungmin assured him, stopping in his tracks to face Hyunjin completely. The way the moonlight shone onto his husband’s wavy black hair made him want to write a million songs about him. Hyunjin closed the distance between them, locking their lips together in a way that made Seungmin feel butterflies every time, like it was their first kiss all over again.

“I love you...”

“I love you, too.”

~

By the time sophomore year ended, Hyunjin had less time to attend Seungmin’s gigs. Seungmin’s grades were only so-so since he was only doing the bare minimum and Hyunjin had started to pick up on it. They’d had a few minor disagreements about Seungmin getting his priorities straight, but he thought after their latest argument he had finally made Hyunjin understand that music was what he wanted to do in his life.

“Kim Seungmin?”

Seungmin had just gotten off the stage after one of the band’s bigger gigs at a local nightclub. A man, seemingly in his late thirties approached him. He was wearing a suit and carried a briefcase. To Seungmin it appeared like he was trying to make himself look important. He certainly didn’t fit the rock-ish nightclub’s atmosphere.

“Yeah, who are you?” Seungmin questioned.

“My name is Cho Youngil. I work for JNB Entertainment, the record label. We are interested in you,” the man said, handing Seungmin a card that confirmed that he was indeed working for one of the biggest record labels in the country.

“For real?” he asked, shocked that they had found him here in this insignificant nightclub.

“Yes, for real. We would like to offer you the chance to sign with us and tour as the opening act for one of our bands starting next month,” Cho Youngil told him. The seriousness in his tone made every last inch of Seungmin believe that this was real, and he wasn’t getting pranked.

“W-which band?” Seungmin asked, hoping that the answer would be...

“Day6. I take it you’ve heard of them?”

And if that wasn’t the understatement of the year.

Seungmin almost squealed in excitement, barely containing himself. Day6 had been the reason Seungmin even got into making music. He worshipped them like gods and now he was offered to be their opening act? Seungmin had to resist the urge to pinch himself.

“You’re not pulling my leg here, right? Holy shit...”

“This is your big chance, Seungmin. If you need to sleep on it for a night that’s alright. But don’t think for too long,” Cho Youngil said.

Seungmin figured that he should at least talk it over with Hyunjin before he made any rash decisions. So he thanked the agent, still in a haze of disbelief and made his way home where, to his surprise, he was greeted by candlelight and a set table. His husband exited the kitchen with a bouquet of purple roses.

“Welcome home. I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it to your gig tonight, but I made this as compensation,” Hyunjin said, pointing at the decorated living room. Seungmin smiled and greeted Hyunjin with a kiss.

“It’s lovely, thank you,” he said, taking a seat at the dinner table, smiling at the sight of his favorite dish. Hyunjin had really put lots of effort into this.  

“I figured it was necessary for us to get some couple time. We’ve kind of been fighting a lot recently,” Hyunjin said. “What do you say we go somewhere during our semester break? Just the two of us. Maybe we could fly to Jeju? I have enough money saved up for a week-long trip!”

Seungmin gnawed on his bottom lip. The agent’s card felt like it was burning in his pocket.

Don’t think for too long...

“Darling... there is something I want to talk to you about,” Seungmin spoke up hesitantly. Hyunjin was right. They really had been fighting a lot and something told him that Hyunjin wouldn’t like what he was about to say.

“Today, after the show this man approached me...” he began. Hyunjin raised an eyebrow, his interest clearly piqued. “He said that he works for JNB Entertainment and they’re interested in signing me as an artist.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened and a smile broke over his face. “That’s amazing, oh my god! I always knew you could do it!”

Seungmin smiled at his encouragement but it just made his next words all the more difficult to say. “I was also offered to uh...” he paused, taking a deep breath, “to go on tour as an opening act for Day6. Um, next month...”

Hyunjin, who had just been about to take a sip from his drink, stilled. “Tour? What about school?” he asked.

“You know my heart hasn’t been in it. This could be my big break!” Seungmin tried to reason. Hyunjin’s expression had soured significantly.

“What about us?”

“You could come along!”

“Seung, I actually like it here. There’s no better dance program in the entire country,” Hyunjin said bitterly.

“I know but what if they take you on too?” Seungmin tried. He desperately wanted to avoid fighting with his husband.

“And what if they don’t? Do you expect me to just drop everything to go and live your dream?”

“It wouldn’t be forever...”

“Please, Seungmin. I know you want this badly, but I think it’ll put a strain on our relationship. It already is,” Hyunjin told him.

“You said you supported me...” Seungmin mumbled.

“And I do! But... can’t it wait? At least until we finish college?” Hyunjin asked, seemingly trying to sound reasonable. Seungmin raised his brow.

“Like our parents wanted us to wait before getting married?” he asked. “You’re asking me to put a hold on my dreams when you know full well that this might be the only opportunity I’ll ever get?”

“If you believe that, you don’t seem to have much faith in yourself! You’re talented Seungmin. Every agency would be blessed to have you. I just don’t want our marriage to suffer from it...” Hyunjin replied.

Seungmin rose from his chair, starting to pace around. “Isn’t it already? Look at us.”

“Don’t say that. I want us to work out, don’t you?” Hyunjin questioned.

“Of course, but we need to support each other’s dreams in order for it to work out. And you clearly only support mine to a certain extent,” Seungmin retorted.

“Don’t you think you’re being awfully selfish right now?”

“Selfish?”

“Yes, all I hear is my dream this, my dream that. Have you ever stopped to consider that I might have dreams of my own? Dreams that actually involve you? Just look at us, Seungmin. We live together but we hardly see each other because I work at the café and the convenience store and you have a gig every single night. We’re married but I feel further away from you than ever. And now you want to give up school?”

“Becoming a lawyer never would have made me happy...” Seungmin muttered. “I just... I have to do this. It’s not going to be forever,” he repeated.

“Is it not? You think after that tour your life will go back to normal? Like they won’t let you record an album and go on your own tour? If you do this now, your whole life will change,” Hyunjin told him, also getting up from his seat.

“I’m sorry, Jinnie. I can’t pass up on this. You know I love you and I want to share this with you.”

“You may love me. But you love your dreams more...” Hyunjin said accusingly before walking over to the door and grabbing his jacket. He turned to face Seungmin once more. “Just do what you must do then...”

He didn’t slam the door when he left and Seungmin knew that Hyunjin wasn’t angry, but disappointed. Somehow that made him feel even worse.

~

‘I’m sorry. I love you.’

Seungmin had written and crossed out the words over and over again, trying to figure out whether he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

He had packed his bags, ready and all set to go on tour. Hyunjin was staying at a friend’s place. They had barely spoken since that night but Seungmin had taken the initiative and called Cho Youngil.

He eventually placed the note on Hyunjin’s pillowcase and grabbed his bags, taking one last look around what had been his home for the past two years before shutting the door and heading towards his dream. Away from his love.

~

Tour life had been hectic so far but Seungmin loved it. He loved being on the road, writing songs in a tour bus in the middle of the night. He loved jamming with his favorite band.

He did miss Hyunjin though. He had gotten a text from him a day after he had left college telling him that he accepted Seungmin’s decision and that he loved him, once again reminding him not to forget him once he was famous.

It felt weird to text with Hyunjin like this, not knowing where they stood; were they still together or had Seungmin doomed his marriage for good by choosing his music?

The answer showed itself halfway through the tour when one of the staff members brought him an envelope. He was in the middle of songwriting in the bus, but he put his stuff aside to open it anyway, curiosity piqued.

When he pulled out the paper, he was greeted by the words ‘Application for Dissolution of Marriage’ in bold printed letters.

His heart stopped for a second when he pulled the rest of it from the envelope. Hyunjin’s signature already sat at the bottom of the document. A little note fell out of the envelope along with the divorce papers.

‘I love you. Now you can be free of me.’

Seungmin dropped the contents of the envelope onto the table, burying his face in his hands. He felt the silver ring on his finger press into his temple, reminding him of what he had just lost. Of what he had given up.

He supposed he had it coming.

Hyunjin had been right. He was selfish. He had left without so much as a proper goodbye, so really, what had he expected?

This was the only right thing Hyunjin could have done. It wasn’t that Seungmin wanted to be free of Hyunjin but rather that he wanted Hyunjin to be free of him. He deserved better.

So, with a heart as heavy as a rock, he picked up his pen.

And he signed the papers.

-Flashback End-

“I was 20 back then. You can probably imagine that my parents weren’t too thrilled to have a 20-year-old divorcee, college drop-out rockstar as a son. We haven’t really spoken that much since I told them. They were right. Hyunjin and I wanted too much at a too young age. I would tell Jiyeon the same if she wanted to get married at 18,” Seungmin closed his story.

“I met you guys two years later. Then I had the PR-stunt-turned-real relationship with Heejin, then Jiyeon happened. Time flew so fast. I haven’t seen Hyunjin in eight years... and now he’s back.”

The others were speechless, seemingly not really knowing what to say. Seungmin couldn’t blame them. He had just dropped a huge bomb on them, and he didn’t expect them to comment on it.

Thinking about this whole ordeal made his heart ache again. He would be lying if he said that he hadn’t asked himself what would have happened if he had stayed with Hyunjin.

For one, he wouldn’t have Jiyeon and he certainly couldn’t imagine his life without her anymore. Heejin may have been a mistake but Jiyeon most certainly wasn’t.

The band eventually reached their set and were immediately ushered into hair and makeup. Seungmin didn’t really feel like going through all of this today.

Usually jacket shootings were his thing, he loved the preparations for new albums because it meant that soon their fans would get to hear their new music. He was excited to find out which song they liked most and more than anything, he was excited to perform again.

“You’re not here with me, Seungmin. I need you to focus!” the photographer said, mildly annoyed. Seungmin could imagine that she had expected better of him.

“I’m sorry, it’s been a long day. I’ll do better,” Seungmin promised. He tried to get his mind off Hyunjin and his past but the more he tried to forget about him, the more he couldn’t.

He managed to pull through the shooting, although he knew that the pictures would probably turn out mediocre at best. Once they were back at the dressing room Seungmin pulled out his phone to check in with Jeongin.

“Jiyeon is fine. We just got home but she had the time of her life today,” Jeongin assured him. Seungmin could hear Jiyeon’s excited laughter in the background. “Do you want me to put her on the phone?”

“That would be amazing. Thanks again for today, Jeongin!”

Jeongin only chuckled and Seungmin could imagine him waving off nonchalantly. A few moments later, Jiyeon was on the other side of the line.

“Hi daddy!” she said excitedly.

“Hey princess, did you have fun today?” Seungmin asked, immediately feeling a little better upon hearing her voice. She proceeded to tell him about all the rides she’d dragged Jeongin on, the ice cream he had bought her and the plushie she had won all by herself.

“Wow, sounds like you’ve had a great day, darling. We’ll go together again soon, okay?”

“Promise?” Jiyeon asked.

“I promise.” He heard Jiyeon yawn and smiled fondly. “Sounds like you’re tired,” he pointed out.

“I’m not...” she argued, promptly yawning again.

Seungmin chuckled. “Go to bed, sweetheart. You’ve had a long day,” he said.

“But when are you coming home?” Jiyeon asked and he could practically hear the pout in her voice. He checked the time.

It was already 8. He doubted that he would make it home before she was asleep. Something he told her full of regret. She wasn’t pleased about him not being able to tuck her in tonight but unfortunately, despite his best efforts, it wasn’t the first time, so she accepted it.

“Good night, princess,” Seungmin said.

“Good night...” Jiyeon replied.

“Can you put–” But before he could finish asking her whether she could put Jeongin on the phone again she had already hung up. He chuckled and opted for texting him instead.

‘I’ll be home pretty late. You can take the guest room if you like.’

A knock made him look up from his phone just as he had received a thumbs up reply from Jeongin.

A staff member was peeking her head inside. “Sorry to disturb you, Mr. Kim. Someone is here to see you,” she informed him before promptly leaving again. Seungmin furrowed his brows. He couldn’t imagine who could possibly be here for him right now.

A second later a figure appeared in the doorway and Seungmin’s heart all but stopped.

It was Hyunjin, looking as amazing as he had when he had seen him at the party. He was dressed in all black; skinny jeans that hugged his muscular legs perfectly, a white shirt tucked into the front of his pants and a washed-out denim jacket. He wore a necklace too but Seungmin couldn’t see the pendant as it was hidden underneath his shirt.  

“W-what are you doing here?” he asked without any kind of greeting.

Hyunjin ran a hand through his black hair, smiling. Seungmin liked how he wore his hair slightly longer than he used to. It really suited him a lot and it made him look so much more mature.

“I had a modeling gig nearby,” he explained. “Junhee told me that you guys were here too, so I thought I’d stop by.”

Junhee was the name of their CEO, and Seungmin couldn’t help but flinch when he remembered that Hyunjin was dating him.

“Why?” Seungmin asked dumbly.

“Because... I wanted to see you. We haven’t seen each other in so long and you were in such a hurry at the party. I just... I thought it would be nice to catch up. Maybe over coffee? If you have time, that is...”

Seungmin’s shoot was over, so technically he was free. He contemplated whether it was such a good idea to catch up with Hyunjin though. He bit his lip, looking at his phone for a split second. Jiyeon was taken care off, so one coffee couldn’t hurt, right?

“I do have time,” Seungmin finally agreed.

~

They went to a café within walking distance. The awkward silence almost crushed Seungmin and he desperately wanted to find something to talk about but the more he wracked his brain, the less he came up with.

“U-um...” he started once they had each gotten their coffee order and sat down in the far back of the little café. “I didn’t know you modeled...” He cringed at his own awkwardness.

This was Hyunjin, for heaven’s sake. The one person he had once known better than himself. But, then again, that was before he had ruined their marriage...

“Well, this sounds awful, but I got the opportunity through Junhee. It wasn’t something I looked for,” Hyunjin replied, once again running a hand through his hair. It was a rather distracting gesture but Seungmin couldn’t find it in himself to really be bothered by it.

“I, um, I followed your music. You guys are really good.” Hyunjin sounded almost shy when he said it.

Seungmin couldn’t hide a small smile at his  words. It warmed his heart that Hyunjin had kept up with his career path despite everything. He also felt a little flustered.

“So... you and CEO Nam, huh?” he said to divert the attention from himself. “How did you guys meet?” The question seemed to make Hyunjin even more sheepish than he was before.

“We met... um, we met at a club...”

“A club?”

CEO Nam didn’t seem like the type of guy to go clubbing. Hyunjin lowered his gaze, not answering right away. Seungmin was about to switch topics again in order to avoid making him uncomfortable but Hyunjin beat him to it.

“My life didn’t go quite as smoothly as yours after we broke up. I lost my scholarship and eventually dropped out of college. I found a job at a club that paid pretty well,” Hyunjin explained.

“Oh, as a bartender?” Seungmin asked.

“No... as a stripper.”

Seungmin spluttered. He had definitely not seen that coming! Hyunjin? A stripper? Well, he did have the body for it, Seungmin realized, a blush promptly spreading on his face at the realization.

“Oh... I mean, not oh as in oh, I’m disgusted! Because I’m not! I...” he cut himself off, exhaling. “I’m sorry. I mean, I’m not judging you.”

Hyunjin chuckled, much to Seungmin’s surprise. “You still do that.”

“Do what?” Seungmin asked dumbly.

“Rambling uncontrollably when you’re flustered. It’s really cute,” Hyunjin told him. Seungmin blushed again. He hadn’t expected to still get that certain flutter in his chest whenever Hyunjin called him cute.

Before he could reply, though, his phone rang. His eyes widened slightly when he saw Jeongin’s caller ID on the display and he picked up so quickly he almost knocked over his coffee.

“Is everything alright?” he questioned before Jeongin could even get out a greeting.

“Everything’s fine, don’t worry, Mr. K! I was just wondering whether you were alright since you’re not home yet,” Jeongin said. Seungmin heaved a sigh of relief since Jiyeon was fine.

“Sorry, I lost track of time. I’m still in Incheon. I’ll be home soon. Just go to bed, Jeongin,” Seungmin told him.

“Alright Mr. K. Get home safely.”

They hung up and Seungmin pocketed his phone again before looking at Hyunjin who just looked at him, cheek resting in the palm of his hand.

“Sorry about that...” Seungmin apologized.

“No worries. Your boyfriend, I assume?”

Seungmin snorted at the thought of  dating a 21-year-old college student. Jeongin was a little bit of a little brother to him. He definitely wouldn’t pay anybody else to look after his daughter.

“My nanny, actually. It’s getting rather late, so I should get home. I’ll call an uber.”

“I’m here with my car. I could give you a ride if you like,” Hyunjin offered. Seungmin wanted to wave off but Hyunjin ran a hand through his hair, again, and smiled. “It saves a lot of money and gas. And I’m heading to Seoul anyway.”

Seungmin chuckled, figuring that he couldn’t really argue with that logic. “Alright. Thank you.”

They finished their drinks before heading back to where Hyunjin had parked his car, a pretty fancy two-seater. A gift from CEO Nam, Seungmin supposed. The old geezer liked to make four-wheeled gifts. They got in and hit the road, once again in silence but this one much more comfortable than the last.

“By the way, I never got to say congratulations on becoming a father. I remember how badly you wanted kids,” Hyunjin said about 10 minutes into the ride. Seungmin smiled and nodded in acknowledgement. Then he leaned his head against the window and sighed.

“I just wish her mother wasn’t such a mess,” he mumbled. He hadn’t even meant to say it out loud but Hyunjin had still picked it up.

“Your breakup was really public, wasn’t it? It must have been hard for your daughter,” he said.

Seungmin shrugged. “She was really young. She still is. I think she just doesn’t understand why her parents aren’t together.”

“Did you love her?” Hyunjin asked. Seungmin looked over at him and Hyunjin made a face like he regretted asking the question. “Sorry. That’s personal. You don’t have to answer that.”

“Nothing’s personal when it comes to Heejin,” Seungmin said with a bitter laugh. “I did love her a long time ago. Our relationship started out as a PR stunt to, I don’t know, distract from the fact that I’m bi, I guess? Not that it did much because everyone already knew anyway. I wasn’t really trying to hide it. Well, I also didn’t mind faking a relationship with one of the prettiest models in the industry. Then things turned real... and then things turned bad,” he recounted.

His mind went back to the happier days. Their first real date, how happy she had been for him when Scene of Panic had gotten their first win, how happy he had been for her when she had scored a very important, career-defining shoot. He remembered how open she had been about her troubled childhood and her struggles with addiction and trying to stay on the right track.

He remembered the day she had told him that she was pregnant. The day of Jiyeon’s birth. The tears of joy they had shared about being presented with such a gift.

Then he remembered how she had started to change. How she had started to neglect Jiyeon for parties, drugs and booze. How Seungmin had tried to salvage their relationship but eventually he couldn’t take it anymore, so he had taken his little girl and moved out.

His lawyer had assured him that he was in the right since Heejin was clearly unfit to be a mother in her state. He had encouraged her to go back to rehab, to get help. She had refused and further proven that Jiyeon was no longer the most important thing in her life.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Hyunjin answered, pulling Seungmin from his thoughts about the past.

Seungmin waved off, smiling meekly. “It’s fine. I’m long since over her but we have Jiyeon together and I have to deal with her although I have primary custody over Jiyeon. Heejin is her mother so I can’t really stop her from ever seeing her again.” He paused, then leaned back in his seat again. “I’m sorry. You didn’t offer to drive me home to listen to my sob story...”

“Maybe not but I’ll still listen to you if you’re upset about something,” Hyunjin told him, throwing a brief glance at him before refocusing on the road. Seungmin didn’t really know how to feel about all of this. His feelings had gotten really confused since Hyunjin had reappeared in his life. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Seungmin replied.

“Did uh... did you ever think about me over the years?” Hyunjin asked sheepishly.

Seungmin didn’t answer right away. The truth was that he’d thought about Hyunjin almost every day, especially around the time Jiyeon was born. Despite that still being during his and Heejin’s happier days he had always pictured himself having children with Hyunjin. He had been his first love after all.

“I have. I’ve also regretted how I left things between us. I should have handled things better back then. I’m sorry...” he finally admitted.

“We were young, Seungmin. And your dream was coming true. I understand that now,” Hyunjin reassured him with all the kindness in his voice that Seungmin didn’t feel he deserved.

“Still, I was really selfish. You asked me not to go and I still did. Without so much as a proper goodbye...”

“Let’s be honest, I probably would have acted the same way. Sure, it hurt a lot but in the past eight years I’ve come to understand your reasons a lot more. If you get a chance to live your dream you can’t pass it up. Ever.”

There was something in his voice that made Seungmin think that he had experienced quite some things since their breakup. Like he had his dreams within arms’ reach, but something happened, something got in the way. Seungmin hesitated but ultimately decided to ask:

“What happened to you? You mentioned you’d lost your scholarship. Why?”

Hyunjin hesitated with his answer a pained expression flickering over his face for all but a millisecond before he schooled it back into neutrality.

“I participated in a dance competition one night... drunk,” he admitted.

Seungmin’s eyes widened. Hyunjin had always been a responsible drinker. He wouldn’t even touch a glass of alcohol days before a competition. He couldn’t imagine him ever entering a stage anything but sober.

“What?!”

“I know it was really stupid. But I was drowning in self-pity after our divorce was finalized. I thought I could do it anyway. Turns out I couldn’t. I fell off the stage mid-performance and fractured my knee. Dance scholarship goodbye,” Hyunjin said with a regretful sigh. “I was still good enough for the pole though, so I got by.”

Seungmin’s gut twisted with guilt. He knew how much dancing had always meant to Hyunjin. He had always been amazing at it too. Seungmin used to enjoy nothing more than to watch Hyunjin dance. He would always get so immersed in the music. Like his head had an off switch that was flipped as soon as the music started. It was mesmerizing to watch.

And now all of it was ruined. Because of Seungmin.

“Seung. Please stop making that face. I didn’t tell you about this to make you feel guilty,” Hyunjin said, even managing a small chuckle, although the topic was probably anything but fond memories for him.

“What face?” Seungmin asked, pouting a little.

“That cute frowny face you make whenever you feel bad about something,” Hyunjin clarified with another chuckle.

“Y-you keep calling me cute. Wouldn’t your boyfriend be upset if he knew?” Seungmin retorted, not wanting to give in to his flusteredness.

Hyunjin huffed a laugh at that. “Do you think I’m the only young guy he’s with? I’m just his arm candy of the month. His pretty thing to show off at parties. We’ve never even had a real conversation because he thinks I’m a brainless model.”

“Sounds pretty degrading to me...” Seungmin muttered but once again Hyunjin picked it up anyway.

“Well, I can’t just snatch a modelling contract from him and then break up with him! That’s cheap.”

“Sorry, it’s none of my business...” Seungmin apologized.

“It’s okay. You’re right anyway. But right now, this is what gets me by,” Hyunjin told him with a shrug.

They had reached Seoul by now so the only conversation they had was Seungmin giving Hyunjin directions to his place. Once they had reached it, Seungmin turned to face Hyunjin.

“Thanks for giving me a ride home,” he said.

Hyunjin smiled at him, the way he used to when they were teens and he had just dropped him off at his front porch 2 minutes before Seungmin’s curfew. It made Seungmin feel all the things he had felt when he was 16 and quite frankly, it scared him shitless. Still, he couldn’t help but return his smile.

“Let’s not wait another eight years to get coffee again, alright?”

Seungmin laughed and nodded. “Alright. Now that we’re labelmates it should be much easier to find some time to hang out,” he told Hyunjin.

He was inclined to lean over and kiss his cheek, but he quickly got rid of the thought. Hyunjin had a boyfriend and whether they were exclusive or not, Seungmin wasn’t about to weasel himself into a relationship.

“Good night,” he said instead.

“Good night, Seungmin.”

Seungmin exited the car and waved at Hyunjin when he pulled out of the driveway. He waited until he was out of sight before going inside.

He almost jumped three feet into the air when he found Jeongin sitting on the living room couch, sipping on some orange juice and typing away on his laptop. Seungmin put a hand on his chest while Jeongin only threw him a Cheshire grin, still with the straw between his teeth.

“If you’d told me you were going on a date, I wouldn’t have called to rush you home,” he said, wagging his eyebrows.

“It wasn’t a date. I was just catching up with... um, with someone from my past. Why are you still up?” Seungmin asked. It was way past 1am by now.

Jeongin shrugged, taking another sip from his juice. “Couldn’t sleep, so I figured I could work on my assignments. Jiyeon’s still fine though. I checked on her 20 minutes ago and she’s fast asleep,” he assured Seungmin.

“Alright. I’ll stop by at her room and then I’ll head to bed as well. Don’t stay up too much longer,” Seungmin told him. Jeongin nodded before refocusing on his laptop. Something told Seungmin that the young boy wouldn’t listen.

Seungmin went upstairs and snuck into Jiyeon’s room, taking a look at his little girl sleeping peacefully. He smiled fondly, his heart warming at the sight as it usually did when he saw that she was safe and sound. He leaned down to kiss her forehead before making his way to his own room.

It wasn’t until he was changed and in bed that he realized how tired he was after not sleeping in almost 48 hours. It didn’t take him much longer to finally drift off to sleep, although his dreams were filled with images of Hyunjin and himself during better times...

~

Seungmin was glad to see that Heejin was sober when she stood on his doorstep the next day. She still regarded him with a nasty glare, probably still pissed because Seungmin had refused to let her take Jiyeon yesterday.

“Heejin,” he started. Jeongin was upstairs helping Jiyeon pack her overnight bag, so they had a moment alone. “I’m begging you to please stay off the substances for as long as she’s around. She’s just a little girl and she needs her mother 100% sober, okay?”

Heejin rolled her eyes. “Don’t talk down to me, Seungmin. Contrary to your belief, I know how to take care of my daughter!”

Seungmin wanted to scoff at her words but he refrained, wanting to keep this as civil as possible.

“I’m just saying. She’ll be with you for two days. I just don’t want to take any chances...”

“One might think you’re her mother,” Heejin snapped at him.

Seungmin wanted to bite back and tell her that he practically had to be Jiyeon’s father and mother at the same time because her real mother had abandoned her but again, he refrained. It would do nobody any good if he started a fight with her when their daughter was right upstairs.

“Can you just humor me for once? Please?” he asked instead.

“Fine. Stop pissing your pants,” Heejin answered with another roll of her eyes. Seungmin didn’t feel very reassured but it was better than nothing, he figured.

Soon enough, Jiyeon came downstairs with Jeongin in tow, carrying her overnight bag. Seungmin crouched down to her and gave her a hug.

“Did you pack everything? Toothbrush? Jammies?” She grinned and nodded. Seungmin shot a look at Jeongin who gave him an affirmative nod as well. “Alright. Be good to mommy and take care, okay?”

“Okay, daddy. See you soon!” Jiyeon said and hugged him again. Seungmin almost didn’t want to let her go but he got a grip of himself and pulled back, ruffling her hair before entrusting her to Heejin.

“You’ll call if anything happens?”

“Yes, I’ll call. Can we go now?” Heejin asked, sounding unnerved. Jiyeon took her hand and looked up at her with big, excited eyes. Jeongin offered to carry the bag to Heejin’s car, saying goodbye to Seungmin in the process.

Seungmin waited until Heejin and Jiyeon had gotten into the car and pulled out of the driveway before closing the front door and leaning against it with a sigh.

Of course, it wasn’t the first time that Heejin had taken Jiyeon, but he just couldn’t help but feel worried every time. He just hoped that Heejin still had enough motherliness in her to keep Jiyeon out of harm’s way.

~

“Your ex-husband is out there,” Chris pointed out as he walked backstage.

Seungmin almost choked on his water. They had one of their smaller gigs today to promote their upcoming album to 100 lucky fans. He couldn’t explain to himself why Hyunjin would be here.

“You’re kidding!”

“Nope, I just saw him. He’s in the far back but he’s there,” Chris said, grinning. “Did you two start something again?”

Seungmin spluttered before glaring at Chris. “Who do you think I am? He’s dating our boss, in case you forgot!”

“Would you start something with him again if he wasn’t dating our boss?” Felix spoke up.

“That doesn’t matter. He’s dating CEO Nam and that’s that,” Seungmin replied before getting up and checking his appearance in the mirror one last time.

He tried to calm his nerves but the thought of Hyunjin attending one of his shows after such a long time made it really difficult to do so. He took a deep breath and stood up straight.

“Alright guys, you’re on in two minutes!” a stressed staff shouted.

Seungmin shook off the nervousness the minute he stepped on stage. This was something he was good at; something he had always been good at.

He couldn’t spot Hyunjin in the crowd, no matter how small it was but he stopped looking for him as soon as the band started playing.

Time always seemed to be flying whenever they performed but it also seemed to stand still. It was a weird sensation, but it was one that Seungmin wouldn’t ever grow tired of.

He loved performing, he loved his fans, he loved his band. He knew that this was what he was born to do because every time he left the stage, he felt fulfilled.

~

“Good job, you guys killed it out there!” their manager praised them as soon as they came running backstage, out of breath and absolutely ecstatic. “Seungmin, you have a visitor in the dressing room,” he added.

Seungmin furrowed his brows in question before he remembered their surprise guest. The members all gave him looks, wagging their eyebrows like teenagers. Seungmin flipped them off, unable to hold back a chuckle at their antics as he made his way to the dressing room.

Thanks to Chris’ earlier warning he expected Hyunjin there; what he hadn’t expected, though, was the single purple rose he was carrying with him.

“Hi...” Hyunjin greeted him sheepishly.

“Hey,” Seungmin replied, taking the rose when Hyunjin held it out to him. “T-thanks. Um, don’t get me wrong but... what are you doing here?”

Hyunjin luckily didn’t seem to take offense. He smiled and did that distracting running a hand through his hair thing again. “I wanted to see you in action, I guess,” he explained. “When Junhee told me you had a gig today I couldn’t resist...”

“And the rose?” Seungmin asked, smelling it absent-mindedly.

“Ah... that was... I just didn’t want to show up empty handed...” Hyunjin said, blushing a little. Seungmin smiled at him, not missing how his heartbeat sped up at the sweetness of the gesture. “You guys were great today.”

“Thanks, I hope the album will be a success.”

“Oh, you bet it will! It’s an amazing album, Seungmin. People would be stupid not to buy it,” Hyunjin said, sounding sincere.

“Flattery will get you absolutely everywhere with this one!” a new voice suddenly spoke up from the doorway. The rest of the band had decided to barge in.

“Shut up, Chris,” Seungmin mumbled.

Chris only cackled as Changbin walked up to Hyunjin, stretching out his hand. “Pleased to make your acquaintance. We’ve heard so much about you!” he said in a mock-fancy tone.

Seungmin elbowed him in the rib. “Stop it, would you?” he hissed before turning to Hyunjin. “I’m sorry about them.”

Hyunjin only grinned widely. “Don’t be. I must admit I’m the slightest bit star struck right now. I really am a pretty big fan of you all...”

“Oh, he’s a gem, we’re keeping him!” Jisung announced.

“You like everyone who compliments you,” Felix pointed out, causing Jisung to stick his tongue out at him. Seungmin covered his face with his hand.  

“Are you guys done now?”

“Not by a long shot. What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t thoroughly embarrass you in front of your–”

“Chris, I swear to god I will throttle you!” Seungmin hissed. Chris raised both of his hands in surrender. Seungmin fake-glared at his bandmates for acting like embarrassing parents. Hyunjin seemed amused by the whole display.

“So, Hyunjin,” Jisung started, ignoring the warning look Seungmin shot him, “what brings you here?”

“Oh, I was going to ask Seungmin to get coffee with me.”

Seungmin gave him a surprised look but he couldn’t find himself opposed. At least not entirely. “How about drinks instead? I need one after dealing with that wild bunch all day!”  

“Hey, you love us!” Felix protested, pouting cutely and Seungmin would be a fool to seriously deny that he did indeed love them all.

“In your dreams,” he replied, playfully pinching the guitarist’s freckled cheek. He turned to face Hyunjin again, “I’m just gonna change and meet you outside?”

“Perfect!”

~

“So, this might sound straightforward but how about we get drinks at my place? These days the cameras can’t seem to leave me alone...” Seungmin suggested.

“Sure but what about your daughter?” Hyunjin asked.

“She’s at her mother’s until tomorrow evening...” Seungmin couldn’t deny the pang of uneasiness that overcame him once again. So far he hadn’t gotten any calls from the police or the hospital so that was a fine indicator that Jiyeon was alright so far.

“Alright then. Your place it is.”

Half an hour later they sat on Seungmin’s living room couch each with a glass of red wine in their hand, the bottle sitting on the table.

“You were really good tonight,” Hyunjin told him again. Seungmin smiled faintly and brought the glass to his lips to avoid an awkward answer. “You know, I thought about what you said the other night. About Junhee and my relationship...”

“I was out of line with that,” Seungmin said quickly.

“You were right though,” Hyunjin said, taking a long sip from his own glass, emptying it. Seungmin reached for the wine to pour him another one. “I mean it’s not like we have anything in common. I don’t just want to be somebody’s plaything. But if I dump him I might as well just become a stripper again...”

Seungmin’s heart ached for him. Hyunjin deserved much better. “I’m sure he wouldn’t just kick you out! You’re a great model. He’d be stupid to let you go,” he assured him, placing a comforting hand on his knee.

Seungmin had indeed checked out some of Hyunjin’s modelling work. He was really good at it and he could have a bright future ahead of him, Nam or not.

“You don’t need to be dependent on some old geezer in order to make it. You just need to get your confidence back,” Seungmin continued.

Hyunjin’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears, breaking Seungmin’s heart even more. “You think?” he asked, his voice sounding uncharacteristically small.

Seungmin gently took the wine glass from his hand and set it on the table along with his own. He faced Hyunjin again, taking both of his hands into his own.

“If anyone can make it it’s you, Hyunjin. I’ve always believed that you could do anything you wanted and I still believe it. You’re amazing...” Seungmin trailed off, blushing when he realized that he’d probably let too much of his lingering affection for Hyunjin shine through. Hyunjin looked at him, his teary eyes slightly widened.

Only now did Seungmin realize just how close they were sitting. If Seungmin leaned in just a little closer...

Hyunjin seemed to have the same trail of thought, slowly moving to close the distance between them and god, did Seungmin want to kiss him.

“Wait,” he whispered when their lips were but mere millimeters apart. Hyunjin stopped and pulled back a little. “As much as I want to kiss you right now, I can’t when you’re still seeing someone...”

“Right, I get it. I’m sorry,” Hyunjin apologized sheepishly. He scooted a few inches back in an attempt to dissolve the lingering tension between them. It didn’t really work but Seungmin appreciated the effort.

A short, almost awkward, silence followed. Hyunjin let his gaze wander around the living room. Seungmin watched him, admiring his features as he often used to when they were still together.

Suddenly, Hyunjin got up  and walked over to a cupboard beneath the TV. He picked up one of the pictures standing on the surface. From what Seungmin could see it was a picture of himself with Jiyeon on his lap, grinning widely.

“She looks just like you,” Hyunjin pointed out.

Seungmin smiled and went to join him, also admiring the picture. It was taken on Jiyeon’s fifth birthday almost exactly one year ago. They both wore ridiculous Disney-themed party hats, showing almost identical smiles to the camera with the exception that Jiyeon was missing one of her front teeth.

“Would you like to see more pictures?” Seungmin questioned, excited at the prospect of talking about his daughter to someone who wouldn’t exploit it and use her for stupid headlines.

“I’d love to,” Hyunjin agreed, clearly having picked up on Seungmin’s excitement.

Seungmin grinned and opened a drawer, pulling out a small photo album. Hyunjin chuckled and followed Seungmin back to the couch where they began looking through the pictures; Seungmin explaining most of them with Hyunjin listening intently.

With a start Seungmin realized how late it had gotten. “Damn, I’m sorry for talking so much...” he apologized, sheepishly rubbing his neck.

“It’s alright, I don’t mind. It’s cute, to be honest,” Hyunjin answered, grinning when Seungmin blushed at his words.

“There you go again with the c-word...” he mumbled, although he didn’t really mind at all.

Hyunjin only laughed. “I should head home,” he then said.

“You’d better call a cab though. You had more than one glass,” Seungmin ordered.

Hyunjin nodded, already pulling out his phone. “When should I pick up my car?” Hyunjin asked him as he put on his coat.

“How about tomorrow afternoon? I’ll be home all day,” Seungmin offered.

“Sounds good. I’ll be there,” Hyunjin assured him. A honk outside indicated that his cab was here.

Seungmin smiled up at him, reaching out to take his hand. “We should do this again some time.”

“Definitely...” Hyunjin agreed before promptly pulling Seungmin into a hug. “See you tomorrow...”

Seungmin hoped that Hyunjin couldn’t feel how fast his heart was beating. He wrapped his arms around Hyunjin’s waist and only barely stopped himself from burying his face in the crook of his neck.

Another honk eventually caused them to pull apart. Hyunjin smiled at him once more and took off.

Seungmin sighed and leaned his back against the front door, trying to will the dumb grin off his face.

He couldn’t help but be reminded of their very first date back when they were 15 or 16 years old. They had been friends before, crushing on each other for who knows how long. The awkwardness had been minimal back then but once they had started easing into the unfamiliar situation it practically evaporated. Seungmin remembered not being able to stop smiling all night, much like right now, after Hyunjin had dropped him off that night.

Seungmin was no idiot. From the moment he had seen Hyunjin at CEO Nam’s party his heart had started to remember all the feelings he had pushed back over the past eight years.

Hyunjin was Seungmin’s first love. His person. He may have temporarily gotten over him, but it was easy to claim to have moved on as long as he hadn’t seen him, talked to him, almost kissed him.

Seungmin made his way down to his basement studio, picking up his guitar. He felt inspired, like he could write a whole song about Hyunjin – he had written many songs about Hyunjin.

In fact, one of the band’s biggest hits was about him – although he had never actually admitted to it publicly.

For now Seungmin was just playing around with random chords and words. He didn’t think he would write a hit tonight but this was a pretty effective way to deal with his feelings at least.

~

Chris greeted Seungmin with a smirk when he walked into the company meeting room the next morning. The band was set to discuss a few last promotion details in here but so far Seungmin and Chris were the only ones here.

“Whatever you going to say, don’t,” Seungmin warned him.

Chris chuckled, clearly set to ignore him. “Are we planning your second wedding?”

“Shut up, nothing happened!” Seungmin said defensively. “Besides, he’s literally dating our boss!”

“Oh please, Seung. He showed up to our gig with heart eyes and roses...”

“...one rose...”

“My point is, at the party with Nam he looked like it was a job or a chore,” Chris continued, unbothered by Seungmin’s interjection.

“Hey, what are you implying here?”

“Seung, stop being defensive! I’m saying that he looked entirely different with you. You can’t tell me that there isn’t any lingering tension between you two!”

“Are you done now?” Seungmin asked, leaning back into his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not saying that I’m not a little affected by him anymore but he is with someone and I have Jiyeon to worry about.”

“Excuses. I’ve known you for quite a few years now and I can tell you’re more than just ‘a little’ affected. You still have feelings for him, don’t you?”

Damn Chris and his observant nature. Seungmin didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. Of course, Chris was absolutely right. But he couldn’t allow himself to act upon his feelings.

“Either way, he’s trying to get back on his feet. He doesn’t need a single father in his life...” Seungmin mumbled the last bit.

Chris put an arm around his shoulders and gave him a pat. “I joke around a lot, but you know you can always talk to me, right?” he said. Seungmin nodded. He didn’t feel like unloading his problems right now but he appreciated Chris’ support.

The others started to pile into the room one by one.

“You okay?” Jisung asked when he spotted the two of them, causing Seungmin to nod once more.

“How was your date?” Changbin questioned. Seungmin saw Chris shoot the others a warning look and Changbin backtracked.

“It’s okay, Chris. It wasn’t a date, we’re just friends. That’s all I’m going to say,” Seungmin told them.

The officials finally came in and the meeting commenced. Seungmin was thankful for the opportunity to keep his mind off his love life and focus on his music for a few hours.

~

After the meeting, Seungmin received a text from Hyunjin saying that something had come up and that he wouldn’t be able to pick up his car that afternoon so Seungmin spent some time with the others. Heejin was supposed to drop Jiyeon off at his place at 6:30pm, so he went home first.

He was just about to start dinner when the doorbell rang. When he opened, he was immediately greeted by Jiyeon throwing herself at him. Seungmin laughed and picked her up for a moment.

“Hey baby, did you have a fun weekend?” he asked.

Jiyeon nodded enthusiastically. “I wanted to show mommy the new toy uncle Jisung got me!” she exclaimed.

Seungmin put her down again and watched her storm up the stairs to her room. When she was out of sight he turned to Heejin.

“Would you like to come in?”

Heejin furrowed her brows suspiciously. Usually she never set foot past the doorstep, only dropping Jiyeon off quickly before leaving with nothing but curt words for Seungmin.

“Why? Are you going to cross-examine me?” she snapped.

“No, I’m not,” Seungmin said, stepping aside to offer her entrance. “Can’t we just talk like normal adults for once?” Heejin hesitated but eventually came in. She still looked a little weary, though. “Can I get you some coffee?”

“What has gotten into you all of a sudden?” Heejin asked.

Seungmin didn’t really know it himself. It wasn’t that he suddenly wanted to buddy up with Heejin again but for the sake of Jiyeon, maybe it was best to put on a friendlier face. They had been friends once before, after all.

“We don’t have to hate each other, Heejin. Come on, you had her for two days. How was it?” Seungmin questioned, leading her to the kitchen where he got started on making some coffee.

“I took her to the park for some ice cream and then we went shopping. But most of our time we spent at my place. She’s such a special little girl,” Heejin told him, smiling faintly. It had been a while since Seungmin had seen her smile. It reminded him of better days.

“That she is. Surely the best thing we ever did,” Seungmin joked, causing Heejin to chuckle and nod in agreement. She sat down at the counter when Seungmin set down a cup of coffee in front of her.

“You know, I’d love to take her more often,” Heejin said, wringing her fingers together in an almost nervous manner. Seungmin grew more serious at her words.

“Heejin...” he started, causing her features to grow more guarded again. “You know I don’t want to keep her away from you, but you also know what you need to do–”

“I don’t need help, Seungmin!” she exclaimed, jumping up from her seat, coffee long forgotten.

“Yes, you do! Please, come on, sit back down!” Seungmin pleaded.

“No, I knew you had an agenda!”

“Believe it or not, I actually care about your wellbeing! You’re the mother of my daughter, for heaven’s sake! She needs you! Is this really, truly the type of role model you want to be for her?” Seungmin almost shouted.

To his surprise Heejin started tearing up. She flopped back down onto the stool again and buried her face in her hands. Seungmin rounded the counter and carefully wrapped her up in a hug.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he muttered.

“I can’t go back there,” Heejin sobbed. Seungmin understood that there meant ‘rehab’. “It was terrible and painful, and I felt so damn ashamed of myself...” She was clutching the back of Seungmin’s shirt as he patted her hair in consolation.

“You could do it once, Heejin. I’m sure you could do it again. You’re really strong when you want to be...”

She pulled back and looked up at him, sniffling. “You think?”

“Of course.”

Jiyeon came running into the kitchen, her doll in hand. Heejin quickly wiped her tears as Seungmin brought some distance between himself and Heejin.

~

“Daddy?” Jiyeon asked when Seungmin tucked her into bed that night.

“Yes, darling?”

“Why isn’t mommy living with us?”

Seungmin froze but managed to school his expression into a smile. “You know, sometimes adults need to live apart from each other...” He said, unsure of how to explain his complicated relationship with her mother.

“Is it because you fight a lot like today?” Jiyeon questioned, her eyes wide in curiosity. Seungmin flinched, regretting his earlier outburst. He never meant for Jiyeon to overhear. “Do you hate mommy?”

“No Jiyeon, I don’t hate mommy... she’s just...” he trailed off, struggling to find the right words.

He couldn’t very well tell his daughter that her mother had a drug and alcohol problem.

“This is really hard to explain, baby. Your mother will always be special to me because she gave me you... but we don’t get along very well anymore. Look, the most important thing is that your mother loves you very much and so do I!” Seungmin explained.

“I love you too!” Jiyeon said, making Seungmin smile. He kissed her forehead and adjusted her comforter before reaching for her storybook.

“Want me to read you one?”

Jiyeon nodded enthusiastically. “Sleeping Beauty, please!”

~

Over the next few days Seungmin and Hyunjin continued to text. They only saw each other once, very briefly, when Hyunjin finally came by to pick up his car.

Seungmin was becoming more and more aware of his stronger-growing feelings for his ex. And it didn’t take a genius to see that Hyunjin felt the same about him...

They often talked about getting dinner but Seungmin was still adamant on taking things slow because of Jiyeon and because of Hyunjin’s relationship with the CEO.

Seungmin was mostly scared that things wouldn’t work out between them. He had lost Hyunjin once and sure, they had matured a lot but that was no guarantee...

If he and Hyunjin got back together, Seungmin wanted it to last. He wanted Jiyeon to meet and love him and he just... wanted to be with him again.

“Let’s go out tonight. Are you free?” Hyunjin asked on the phone about a week after picking up his car.

“I can’t tonight. I don’t have a babysitter for Jiyeon,” Seungmin told him regretfully. He remembered something and perked up. “We’ll see each other tomorrow, though, right? At the album release party?”

“True, but I’ll be Junhee’s arm candy... I would have preferred dinner and a movie,” Hyunjin replied, a pout audible in his voice. “I should end things with him so I can formally ask you out.”

“I know you’re scared it might backfire but remember what I told you, okay?” Seungmin said encouragingly, trying to ignore the way his heart fluttered at Hyunjin casually talking about asking him out. Hyunjin hummed in acknowledgement. “See you tomorrow?”

“Can’t wait. Good night, Seung.”

“Good night, b-... good night,” Seungmin answered, mentally cursing himself for almost falling back into old habits. They hung up and Seungmin sighed, picking up his guitar where he’d set it down next to the couch.

“Daddy?” Jiyeon’s tired voice came from next to the armrest.

“Oh hey... why are you still up, princess?” Seungmin asked.

“I can’t sleep...” she said, climbing onto the couch. “I had a bad dream...”

Seungmin set his guitar aside again, allowing Jiyeon to climb onto his lap. “Do you want to tell me what it was about?”

She shook her head. “Too scary.”

Seungmin cooed and wrapped his arms around her protectively. “It’s okay, Jiyeon. You’re safe now,” he told her.

“Who was on the phone?” she asked suddenly.

“My old friend. You haven’t met him yet though,” he replied truthfully. He didn’t want Jiyeon and Hyunjin to meet before he wasn’t absolutely sure where their relationship was going.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, my darling?”

“You won’t go away, right?”

Seungmin looked at her in surprise. Where was that coming from all of a sudden?

“Of course not, Jiyeon. What makes you think that?”

Jiyeon looked at him. “Mommy always goes away. She also has a friend and she sees him all the time but she doesn’t come to see me often. In my dream you were going away... and I was alone with all the monsters...”

Seungmin tightened his protective hold around her. It was no wonder Jiyeon had picked up on Heejin’s dating habits, but he hadn’t been aware that it was affecting her that much.

“I promise you that I will never, ever leave you, okay? I will fight every monster for you too. You’re my favorite princess, Kim Jiyeon.”

“Do you know any others?” Jiyeon asked curiously.

Seungmin chuckled, involuntarily thinking about Hyunjin again. He could be a bit of a princess sometimes, at least back in the day.

“Maybe,” he answered. “I love you, darling. Don’t forget that, okay?” he reminded her.

Jiyeon nodded. “I love you too...”

She grew more and more sleepy in his arms and it didn’t take much longer until she had drifted off into a more peaceful slumber. Seungmin smiled down at her fondly, remaining in this position for a while before ultimately picking her up and proceeding to carry her upstairs.

~

“Can’t I come with you to the party?” Jiyeon asked the next day from her throne upon the bathroom counter as Seungmin got ready.

“I’m sorry, Jiyeon, but you can’t. The party will go on until very late and it’s going to be really boring,” Seungmin told her regretfully. On top of that they had rented out a nightclub which was hardly a place for a little girl.

Jiyeon pouted. “Then why are you going?” she asked, causing Seungmin to chuckle.

“Well, it’s a party for the band. I have to be there,” he told her. “You’re lucky you get to play with Jeongin. But, hey, you know which party is going to be fun? Your birthday party this weekend!”

That caused Jiyeon to light up. She would turn six on Saturday and start school the very next week. Seungmin didn’t know how to feel about his little girl starting school but it would definitely be more convenient for her to be busy throughout the day.

The only downside was that he would probably have to hire someone to drive her there and pick her up every day.

He didn’t trust just anyone with his daughter, but he knew that Jeongin didn’t have time to be a driver and unfortunately neither did Seungmin.

Sometimes he felt regretful about not always being able to be a simple father to Jiyeon. He already made more time for her than his manager liked to see but there were some things that he simply couldn’t do for her.

He had enrolled her in a private school and had to have her driven around because he feared something possibly happening to her. Stalkers, haters or even some of Heejin’s fans who held a grudge against him might have it out for Jiyeon. Maybe he was too paranoid in that regard, but he wasn’t going to take any chances when it came to his daughter.

“Are you excited for your big day?” he asked her.

“Yeah! I’m excited to go to school to!” Jiyeon exclaimed. Seungmin chuckled and ruffled her hair. “Can Jeongin come to the party?”

“Of course! We couldn’t celebrate your birthday without him!”

“Will mommy come too?”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t miss it,” Seungmin told her. He hoped she wouldn’t. “Alright, I have to go now, baby...” Jiyeon pouted again as Seungmin lifted her off the counter. “I’ll miss you,” he said, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

“I’ll miss you too, daddy...”

~

It didn’t take Seungmin all that long to spot Hyunjin. He, surprisingly, wasn’t hanging off CEO Nam’s arm but instead lingered around at the bar.

“Hey, enjoying yourself?” Seungmin asked him, watching Hyunjin down a shot and pull a face afterwards.

“Getting there,” Hyunjin replied, promptly downing another one.

“Are you okay?” Seungmin noticed the worry lines on his forehead and assumed that it had something to do with his boyfriend.

“I might have just ruined my career before it even began,” Hyunjin told him.

“You ended it with Nam?” Seungmin asked, surprised.

“Yeah, around 20 minutes ago. He...” Hyunjin cringed, “he called me something very objectifying and I just couldn’t wait any longer. He didn’t seem all that mad but that doesn’t mean he isn’t.”

“I’m sure you’ll be alright. He’s usually very professional,” Seungmin tried to reassure him.

“I hope you’re right...” Hyunjin swayed a little on his feet, causing Seungmin to grab his arm.

“Maybe you should get some fresh air? Come on...”

Hyunjin followed Seungmin outside where he sat him down on a wooden bench next to the entrance.

“I’m alright...” Hyunjin assured him. “That stuff in there was just a lot stronger than I’d expected...”

Seungmin chuckled and let Hyunjin rest against his side. He sincerely hoped that CEO Nam wouldn’t let any personal grudges cloud his judgement. From what he’d gathered, Hyunjin had already been through enough.

“I’m sorry, you must think I’m such a train wreck...” Hyunjin apologized. He sat up straight and ran a hand through his hair to get his bangs out of his face.

“I don’t think you’re a train wreck. Believe me, you’re doing amazing,” Seungmin assured him, patting his thigh in comfort. “Maybe I should take you home, though.”

Hyunjin smirked at his words. “At least buy me dinner first.”

“I will once you’re sober, don’t test me!” Seungmin mock threatened. Hyunjin chuckled and let Seungmin help him up.

“Won’t you be missed at your party?”

“The formalities are over. I’m no longer needed there.”

They got into Seungmin’s car where Hyunjin gave his address to him. The drive was relatively quiet, although the silence wasn’t awkward.

“So...” Hyunjin started once Seungmin had pulled up in front of his building. It was an apartment complex in the fancier part of town, no doubt one of Nam’s generous gifts. “Now that I’m newly single, will you finally grant me the chance to go out with you? Maybe this Saturday?”

Seungmin chuckled. “You know I’d love to... but I can’t on Saturday. It’s my daughter’s birthday.”

“Oh, I didn’t know!” Hyunjin said.

Seungmin smiled faintly. “I’ll call you, though, okay?” he offered. “No drinks this time though. I feel like we should do this sober,” he added, causing Hyunjin to laugh and nod in agreement.

“Tell you daughter happy birthday, okay?” Hyunjin said, still smiling before getting out of the car. “See you,” he added.

“Sweet dreams,” Seungmin said. He waited until Hyunjin had safely made his way inside before taking off.

Seungmin decided to head back to the party for a bit longer just because it felt like his duty to do so. He chatted with his members most of the time though, evading questions about himself and Hyunjin whom they had, of course, seen him with earlier.

He was glad when he could finally go home. Jiyeon was fast asleep when he checked on her.

~

Jiyeon’s sixth birthday came around quickly and soon enough Seungmin found himself surrounded by screaming and laughing children. He had rented an arcade for the day much to the kids’ excitement.

“Is Heejin coming?” Chris asked him.

Seungmin threw an absent-minded look towards the door. “She said she would.”

And really, in that moment, Heejin came in – with a strange man on her arm. Seungmin tried his best not to groan in annoyance.

“Hey, where’s the birthday girl?” Heejin questioned, not even bothering to introduce the guy she was with.

“She’s somewhere over there, playing with her friends. Can I speak to you for a minute?” Seungmin asked, not waiting for an answer. He got up and motioned for her to follow him to a quieter spot. “What are you doing?!”

“I brought my new boyfriend to meet Jiyeon!”

“Why?! How many of your boyfriends has she met since we broke up? Cause it’s really messing with her!”

“It’s only been a few. Not everyone can be a prude like you, Seungmin,” Heejin told him.

“If putting my daughter over my love life makes me a prude then fine. She’ll get confused if you keep introducing her to new men all the time! Can’t you at least try to keep it down until you settle down with someone?” Seungmin almost pleaded.

“This one is it, Seungmin! He’s a good man!”

“What makes you so sure. You can’t have been dating him for more than two weeks!” he retorted.

“I just know, okay?! Stop getting on my case for everything I do!” Heejin snapped. “Now excuse me, my boyfriend and I are going to say happy birthday to my daughter!” With that she turned on her heel and stormed off to collect her boy toy.

Seungmin made his way back to Chris and Jeongin, sitting down with a sour expression. “That woman is getting on my last nerve,” he complained.

“She scares me,” Jeongin mumbled. Chris chuckled and patted the young nanny’s shoulder comfortingly.

“I just don’t understand how she can be so irresponsible,” Seungmin said. “I’ve never introduced anyone to Jiyeon before because I don’t want her to get attached to anyone who might leave again.”

“Well, to be fair you’ve barely dated. And if you did, it was never particularly serious in the first place...” Chris pointed out.

“My point exactly!” Seungmin said vigorously. “Do you think any of Heejin’s relationships in the past were meant to be serious?”

“Probably not. But on that note, are you going to introduce Hyunjin to Jiyeon?” Chris questioned. Seungmin tried not to blush at the sudden shift of topic. Jeongin perked up at the question, looking at him with a grin on his face.

“Is that the guy you went out with that night when you came home late?”

“We didn’t go out. We just... he simply drove me home,” Seungmin stammered. He didn’t know why he had to explain himself to his twenty-one-year-old nanny.

“They were married,” Chris told Jeongin in a not-at-all-convincing whisper.

“Married?! When?” Jeongin asked, thoroughly surprised.

“Let’s just say I was already divorced again when I was your age. Can we change subjects now?” Seungmin pleaded, ignoring Jeongin’s gaping expression.

“If you answer my question. Will you introduce Jiyeon to Hyunjin eventually?” Chris asked again.

Seungmin wasn’t sure why Chris was so invested in his love life as of late, but he found himself indulging him by shrugging.

“Maybe eventually. I want to see where things might go first,” he said, regretting it instantly when Chris and Jeongin immediately broke into sly grins.

“So things are going somewhere?” Chris questioned.

“We’ll see! I’m done with this interrogation for now!”

Jiyeon came running to their table, giggling loudly as she pulled Seungmin to his feet. “Play with us!” she exclaimed, excitedly dragging him along. Seungmin had to admit that he was kind of grateful to be pulled out of that situation, even if he had to play the monster for a bunch of five-and-six-year-olds.

~

“Did you have fun today, princess?” Seungmin asked his sleepy daughter several hours later as he carried her to Heejin’s car. She would be staying with her for the rest of the weekend. Her boyfriend had luckily taken off a while ago.

“I did. Thank you, dad...” He chuckled and put her in the backseat, carefully buckling her up.

“Sleep well baby, I’ll see you on Monday!”

“Good night...” Jiyeon mumbled. Seungmin kissed her forehead and closed the car door before turning to face Heejin.

“Yes, I’ll drive safely; no, I won’t act irresponsibly and yes, I will call should anything happen – which it won’t,” Heejin said rolling her eyes before Seungmin had the chance to even say anything.

“Thanks, that’s all I ask. And please,” she groaned but he continued anyway, “no more strangers.”

Luckily, Heejin didn’t put up a fight. She simply muttered an annoyed “yeah, yeah, whatever...” and got into her car, driving off.

~

Seungmin wasn’t entirely sure what had compelled him to call Hyunjin first thing Sunday morning to ask him out for brunch, but here he was. In a quiet little diner near his place. With his ex-husband.

“So, was your daughter’s party a success?” Hyunjin questioned, graciously accepting a coffee refill from the waitress.

“Oh, yeah. She had lots of fun yesterday. I let her mom take her home...”

“That explains the worry lines on your forehead,” Hyunjin pointed out. Seungmin rubbed his own forehead at his words, growing sheepish.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to bother you with my parent issues all the time,” he apologized.

“Not at all,” Hyunjin quickly waved off. “I wouldn’t have asked if I was bothered by it.”

“Still, let’s talk about something else for now.”

“Alright,” Hyunjin agreed, “so I can’t say I wasn’t surprised when you called so soon. You seemed intent on taking it slow,” Hyunjin said, albeit not in an accusatory manner.

“I still am. But I do want to spend time with you,” Seungmin answered.

“As what, though? Don’t get me wrong, I love that you want to hang out... but you can’t deny that there’s still something between us,” Hyunjin said. He proceeded to pour a shit-ton of sugar into his cup which Seungmin watched with amusement before answering.

“I’ll be honest with you then... I still have feelings for you. They never completely vanished, and they keep getting stronger every time I see you...”

Hyunjin looked back at him with slightly widened eyes at Seungmin’s blatant honesty. “That... was really honest, though I do feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming.”

Seungmin nodded timidly. “But, I have more than just myself to think about now. I’m scared that if we try again and fail again it would be too much for me. But if I were to do this with you again... I wanna do it right.”

“I... wow, that was a lot. Look, I get where you’re coming from. But we’ve matured and I think the fact that our feelings for each other are still there speaks for us...” Hyunjin said, pushing his coffee aside to reach for Seungmin’s hands. “And I want to do it right as well,” he added.

“So... are we really doing this?” Seungmin asked, staring at their intertwined hands.

Hyunjin smiled. “If you’ll still have me...”

Seungmin looked back at him. “Of course, are you kidding? But Hyunjin... are you really sure you want to be with me? I mean I’m a single father after all.”

“Why would that bother me?”

“I don’t know, I figured it might be a problem,” Seungmin mumbled self-consciously.

“Seung, I was always aware of the fact that you have a daughter. Do you think I would try to start something with you again if that bothered me?”

“I don’t know... it’s just that I haven’t really had a serious relationship in a while, and I don’t want to overwhelm her...”

“We can still take it slow. This doesn’t have to be rushed or public. And if you think you’re ready to introduce us, then I’ll be ready too. And I’m willing to wait until you are ready.”

Seungmin couldn’t deny that it was relieving to hear that. He wanted to be with Hyunjin, but his fears made it hard to listen to his heart. It was comforting to know that Hyunjin understood.

“Come on, I’ll take you home,” Hyunjin said eventually, once they had finished their drinks.

“Are you already trying to get rid of me?” Seungmin joked, causing Hyunjin to chuckle as they rose from their seats. He tried not to get flustered when Hyunjin reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers.

“So, does this count as a first date?”

“Since you paid for our drinks, I think it qualifies for a first date,” Seungmin agreed. They reached Hyunjin’s car and made their way to Seungmin’s place. It felt much like the last time only this time Seungmin gave in to the urge to kiss Hyunjin’s cheek.

“Thanks for today.”

Hyunjin faced him, their lips now only inches apart. “Can I kiss you?” he asked, his tone barely above a whisper. Seungmin only nodded, waiting for Hyunjin to close the gap between them which he did.

Whatever Seungmin had expected from this first kiss in literal ages, Hyunjin exceeded all of it.

Seungmin certainly hadn’t forgotten how Hyunjin’s lips felt on his own, but somehow it still felt like a whole new first kiss. Maybe it was a cheesy thing to say but Seungmin felt like everything simply clicked back into place. Like he had been out of sync until now.

Seungmin cupped Hyunjin’s cheek, deepening the kiss. It wasn’t the most comfortable position since they were still in the car but Seungmin couldn’t be bothered to care. He had missed this too much and he never wanted it to end.

Unfortunately, though, it did end eventually.

Hyunjin pulled back, his face flushed and his lips red and glistening. When he opened his eyes, he seemed out of it for a second. Seungmin was sure he didn’t look much better.

“You’ve certainly learned a thing or two since we last did this,” Hyunjin said, slightly out of breath. Seungmin fell back into his seat, laughing.

“So have you.”

Hyunjin grinned and reached out to caress Seungmin’s cheek with his thumb. “We should do this again soon.”

Seungmin leaned in to kiss him once again. It was much shorter this time but certainly not less amazing. When he pulled back Hyunjin giggled.

“I meant going out in general but thanks for this anyway.”

Seungmin chuckled. “I know, I couldn’t resist. I should go now, though,” he said, albeit reluctantly. “I’ll be busy with promotions, so I’m not sure how my schedule will look but I should be free next on the weekend if you want to do something.”

“Sounds perfect, I don’t have any shoots coming up until next week,” Hyunjin told him. Seungmin kissed him on the cheek once more before getting out of the car.

“See you this weekend,” he said.

“Can’t wait,” Hyunjin replied, smiling widely. It almost made Seungmin get back into the car and kiss him once more.

Now that he finally could kiss him again he never wanted to stop.

~

Over the coming weeks Seungmin was busy with band promotions and taking care of Jiyeon, so he could only go on very few dates with Hyunjin.

They really were taking it slow, though. Dinner dates, timid hand holding, almost shy kisses – very different from the ones they had shared in the car – and simply just getting reacquainted with each other.

Heejin seemed to be making a little progress as well. Her dating scandals decreased, and she seemed a bit more put together. Of course, Seungmin knew better than to trust her blindly but he did appreciate her efforts. He allowed her to regularly take Jiyeon twice a month on the weekends, which he then spent with Hyunjin.

He hadn’t introduced his boyfriend (damn, it felt good to call him that again) to Jiyeon yet.

It was important for Seungmin to get used to being in a relationship again, checking how things would work out between them. And of course, things were great. Not quite like they were before but that wasn’t a bad thing. They had both changed and grown.

Maybe in a few weeks Hyunjin could meet the other love of his life.

Tonight, however, the two of them were alone at Seungmin’s place once more. This time things were a lot more comfortable than they had been the last time Hyunjin was here. They were sitting on the couch, Hyunjin was leaning against Seungmin’s side, with his head resting on his shoulder as they were watching a movie. Seungmin’s arm was loosely slung around his waist.

“This is nice,” Hyunjin mumbled contentedly. Seungmin hummed in agreement, gently squeezing his waist. Hyunjin, ever so ticklish, giggled and squirmed a little which promptly caused Seungmin to do it again. Hyunjin yelped and tried to move away, but Seungmin’s arm tightened around his waist.

“You’re so mean,” Hyunjin complained, although with absolutely no bite in his voice.

“You love it,” Seungmin retorted, chuckling.

“I love you,” Hyunjin blurted out, immediately tensing afterwards. “I-I’m sorry. I know it’s too soon and I agreed to take it slow. It... it just came out...”

Seungmin detached himself from Hyunjin to face him. “I love you too. I’d be a fool to claim otherwise...” he said.

And yes, maybe it was too soon after his constant wish to take it slow but at the same time it came way too late considering their history.

Hyunjin smiled and promptly lurched forward to kiss Seungmin as if his life depended on it. The latter returned the kiss with an equal amount of fervor, adjusting their position so that Hyunjin was now straddling him. Seungmin’s hands found Hyunjin’s hips, squeezing them and causing the older to gasp deliciously as he pressed his body closer to Seungmin’s.

“D-do you want to go upstairs?” Seungmin asked, out of breath and barely keeping it together.

“What’s wrong with the couch?” Hyunjin asked with a smirk, leaning down to mouth along Seungmin’s neck and – yeah, what was wrong with the couch again?

“Generally nothing but,” he cut himself off, inhaling sharply when Hyunjin sucked on a particularly sensitive spot on his neck. That little shit still knew his weak points.

But two could play that game. Seungmin’s hand trailed up Hyunjin’s back and neck before curling itself into hair, tugging gently. Hyunjin’s reaction was instant - small whimper before he lay his forehead on Seungmin’s shoulder, completely pliant. Good to know that still worked.

“But,” he continued. “I have everything we need upstairs, plus... my bed is way more comfortable.”

“You play dirty, you know that?”

“Is there any other way?”

They hurried upstairs to Seungmin’s bedroom which Hyunjin only acknowledged briefly before aiming for the bed where he sat down, beckoning Seungmin over. The younger complied and kissed Hyunjin again.

“I feel like this should go,” Seungmin said, tugging on his boyfriend’s shirt. Hyunjin smirked and pulled it over his head, tossing it aside. Seungmin’s eyes fell on a flash of silver on his chest. He had noticed that Hyunjin was wearing a necklace, but he had never seen the pendant as he kept it under his shirt.

“Is... is that...” He reached out, taking the pendant into his hand carefully.

“My wedding ring...” Hyunjin confirmed, looking at it. “I kept it...”

Seungmin looked up from the ring at him. Then, he leaned in and kissed him. Hyunjin seemed surprised but not opposed, laying back and pulling Seungmin down on top of him.

~

“I can’t believe you kept it...” Seungmin said later as they were cleaned up and cuddled up under fresh covers. Seungmin was playing with the ring, a feeling of happiness and content, the kind he hadn’t felt in eight years, overcame him at the sight of it.

After a few more moments, he reached into his bedside drawer and pulled out a small jewelry box. He opened it and showed it to Hyunjin. His own wedding ring was sitting inside it. Hyunjin beamed at him before pulling him close for a kiss.

“You know, I never wanted to break up. It’s just... at the time, I thought it was for the best. I didn’t want to be in your way...” Hyunjin explained. Now he was the one fiddling with the ring.

Seungmin caressed his cheek. “You never would have been in my way.”

“But you saw what all of this did to us. I don’t think we understood the responsibilities that came with marriage. Like, don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret marrying you, but I regret how it ended. Now I understand you better. And I love you,” Hyunjin said.

“I love you too,” Seungmin replied. Hyunjin kissed him once more, sweet and chaste, before cuddling up to him again.

Suddenly, loud knocking came from downstairs. The doorbell rang twice in quick succession. Seungmin frowned in confusion. It was past midnight. Who would want anything at this ungodly hour?

The only reasonable explanation was: Jiyeon.  

He scrambled out of bed and hastily put on some clothes before hurrying downstairs to open the door. He came face to face with a policeman.

“Are you Kim Seungmin?” he asked, his expression unreadable.

“Yes, what can I do for you?” Seungmin asked, panic rising up in his chest.

“We have your daughter with us. Her mother...?” he checked his notes, “Park Heejin was arrested tonight for driving under the influence of alcohol while your daughter was in the car with her.”

Seungmin’s heart all but stopped. There was no way he had heard that right. “Is my daughter alright?” he asked, throwing a frantic look over the officer’s shoulder in the direction of the parked police car. He saw the backdoor open.

“Daddy!” Jiyeon exclaimed, running towards him.

“She’s fine. Simply a little shaken up from tonight’s events,” the officer said. Seungmin picked Jiyeon up when she’d reached him.

“Thank you for taking her home.”

The man nodded and took off. Seungmin set Jiyeon down on the floor again, crouching to get on eye level with her.

“Are you alright, baby?” he questioned.

“Mommy was driving funny, so the police took her away...” she said, not answering his question. She teared up, looking at him. “Will she go to jail now?” she asked. Seungmin pulled her into a hug, trying to calm her down again.

Hyunjin peeked down the staircase, looking concerned and confused. Seungmin motioned for him to wait, not wanting to scare Jiyeon with the presence of a stranger.

“It’s gonna be okay. Mommy’s gonna be okay. Come on, I’ll take you upstairs to your bed, okay?” Seungmin said. Jiyeon nodded and let him carry her to her room.

It took a great deal of time and comfort – and about three fairy tales – but eventually Jiyeon fell asleep. Seungmin watched her for a few more minutes before he headed to the kitchen, clutching the counter tightly.

He took a shaky breath as the situation began to really sink in. Hyunjin carefully entered, taking in the shaken-up state of his boyfriend.

“Seung, what happened?” he asked, wrapping the younger up in a very much-needed hug.

“Heejin was arrested because she was driving drunk with Jiyeon in the car...” Seungmin said, still unable to believe it himself.

Hyunjin pulled back to look at him, his eyes wide with disbelief. “What?!”

Seungmin exhaled shakily and began to rummage around the kitchen for some supplies to make tea. His hands were trembling as all kinds of horrible scenarios came to his head. Tonight could have gone so wrong!

“Seung, you’re shaking. Here, let me do it. You should sit down,” Hyunjin spoke up, taking the tea pot from his hands. Seungmin complied. He would only end up dropping something at this point. He sat down at the counter and buried his face in his hands for a moment.

“Drunk driving... I’m the worst parent ever,” he mumbled defeatedly.

“Hey, last time I checked it wasn’t you behind the wheel. It’s not your fault,” Hyunjin assured him as he set down a steaming cup of tea in front of him.

“I should have known better! I know full well that Heejin has a problem! It almost happened once before! How could I have been stupid enough to trust her?!” Seungmin exclaimed, not mad at anyone but himself. And of course Heejin.

He had half a mind to lower his voice in order not to wake Jiyeon again. “She was pulled over this time but what about next time? What if–”

Hyunjin cut him off with a hug. “Don’t even go there! You trusted her because you see the best in people. But Jiyeon is upstairs, she’s unharmed and she’s safe!”

Seungmin nodded, slowly but surely beginning to calm down. “God, I’m a mess right now. I’m sorry...”

“It’s about your child, I can only imagine how you feel...” Hyunjin told him. “But I’m here for you.”

“Thank you, you’re the best,” Seungmin said gratefully.

Hyunjin hugged him again. Much longer this time. It felt good to rely on somebody else for once. Being a working single parent didn’t really give him much time to focus on himself. Sure, his bandmates were there for him when he needed them, but it wasn’t the same as a partner. As a Hyunjin.

“I should call my lawyer tomorrow, to see what I should do now. There is no way I’m ever going to allow Jiyeon near her again without supervision,” Seungmin said, slowly finding his strength again.

“That sounds like a plan! For now, you should get some rest though. I can come back tomorrow if you like,” Hyunjin offered. Seungmin looked at him quizzically.

“Do you have to be somewhere?” he asked.

“No... I just figured...”

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s like 3am I’m not going to kick you out.”

“But what about Jiyeon?”

“It’s okay. I think you’ve more than earned it. Tomorrow at breakfast we can introduce you as a friend first,” Seungmin told him.

Hyunjin smiled. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“I am. But only if you want to.”

“I’d love to,” Hyunjin answered, even sounding a little giddy.

“Great, then you can cuddle me to sleep now and meet my precious daughter tomorrow!” Seungmin said, standing up. “Seriously, thanks for being there. Sometimes it gets too much and having you here really helped me tonight,” he added. Hyunjin smiled again and brushed Seungmin’s hair out of his face.

“Let’s go to sleep.”

~

Seungmin woke up first the next morning. He rolled onto his side, eyes falling on a sleeping Hyunjin. He smiled fondly and his heart picked up the pace at the all-too-familiar sight. He never would have imagined being able to call Hyunjin his again.

Hyunjin stirred and groaned softly before his eyes fluttered open, blinking a few times to get used to the light.

“Good morning,” he muttered, his voice heavy with sleep.

“Morning,” Seungmin said, still smiling.

“What time is it?”

“Almost 8. I should get started on breakfast soon,” Seungmin informed him.

“Are you still sure you want me to stay?” Hyunjin questioned, looking sleepy but unsure.

“It’s okay, Jin. You don’t have to be nervous. I want you to meet her,” Seungmin said, reaching out to brush the messy bangs out of Hyunjin’s face.

“Alright... then you’d better get started on breakfast while I get dressed...”

“If you don’t want to wear yesterday’s clothes, my closet’s all yours,” Seungmin said. He pecked Hyunjin’s nose and got out of bed. He went down the stairs and was about to head to the kitchen when he heard the TV running in the living room. He frowned.

“Jiyeon?” he asked, surprised when he found his daughter curled up into a ball on the couch watching a cartoon. “What are you doing up already, sweetheart?”

“I had a bad dream again. I didn’t want to wake you...” Jiyeon mumbled, sitting up and tightening her comforter around herself.

Seungmin sat down next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. “Jiyeon, you can always wake me. Do you want to tell me what your dream was about?”

“It was about mommy again...” Seungmin couldn’t suppress the bitterness he felt at the mention of Heejin. “Daddy?”

“Yes, princess?”

“Did you have a sleepover?” Jiyeon questioned. Seungmin froze.

“Um, why do you ask?”

“Well, I saw you and a man when I looked into your room...”

Seungmin closed his eyes for a second. He was glad that he and Hyunjin had gone to bed dressed. Still, he had wanted to carefully introduce Hyunjin, not have her see him sleeping in her father’s bed.

“Do you remember the friend I told you about? The one you haven’t met yet?” Seungmin asked, brushing through her dark brown locks with his hand. She nodded, eyeing him curiously. “Well, that’s him. It got really late last night, so I invited him to stay over.”

“Oh, is he going to stay for breakfast?” Jiyeon questioned curiously.

Seungmin smiled. “He is. And on that note, I should probably fix us some, shouldn’t I?” he asked, picking her up with him. He sat her down on her usual stool and ruffled her hair before getting started on breakfast.

Jiyeon watched him cook, eyes attentive. Eventually, Hyunjin entered the kitchen, surprised to see Jiyeon already downstairs. Her attention shifted from the food to the newcomer.

Seungmin gave him a once-over, smiling at the kind of ratty Scene of Panic shirt he had chosen to wear along with a pair of black jeans. He looked just too good in Seungmin’s clothes. Maybe he should sleep over more often.

“Hello,” Jiyeon greeted him.

“Hello,” Hyunjin replied.

“Jiyeon, this is Hyunjin. I’ve known him for a very long time. Hyunjin, this is my lovely daughter Jiyeon,” Seungmin introduced the two of them.

“Nice to meet you, Jiyeon. Your dad has told me a lot about you,” Hyunjin greeted her with a warm smile on his face.

“Are you a model?” Jiyeon asked, surprising both her father and Hyunjin.

“How did you know that?” Hyunjin asked her.

Jiyeon grinned widely. “You’re really pretty, just like my mommy.” Seungmin had to suppress a snort at his daughter’s blatant honesty. She wasn’t wrong, although Seungmin wouldn’t have compared Hyunjin to Heejin. But he sure was pretty.

He was pleased to see that the two of them seemed to get along well. Hyunjin made Jiyeon laugh several times as Seungmin prepared their breakfast. It warmed his heart to see the two people he cared about most click instantaneously.

“Alright, you two. Breakfast is served.”

~

Hyunjin stayed until noon, even agreeing to play princess with Jiyeon until he received a call from his manager. Jiyeon only let him go with much reluctance.

Seungmin chuckled when he saw Hyunjin off at the door. “You know, you should really wear pigtails more often,” he said, nodding at his boyfriend’s hairstyle curtesy of Jiyeon.

Hyunjin reached up to touch his own hair, smiling. “Suits me, doesn’t it?”

“Very much so... I just wish you didn’t have to go already,” Seungmin told him, pouting slightly.

Having Hyunjin spend the night and watching him with Jiyeon today made him miss the times when waking up next to him every day and having him around all the time was a normal occurrence.

“Me too but I’m glad Junhee didn’t kick me out, so I’d better be there on time,” Hyunjin said. Seungmin nodded in agreement and leaned in to kiss him goodbye.

“I love you.”

Hyunjin smiled at him and pecked his lips once more. “I love you too,” he said before eventually taking off.

Seungmin closed the door and leaned against it with a sigh. Somehow, he felt like a teen again, but it wasn’t exactly the same feeling as before. It was better, more defined.

18-year-old Seungmin had been in love, alright, but he hadn’t known what he wanted until it was gone.

28-year-old Seungmin was in love too and he knew that this time he wouldn’t let go of it, no matter what.

“Daddy?” Jiyeon suddenly spoke up, making him jump in surprise.

“Yes, princess?” he asked.

“When is Hyunjin coming back?”

Seungmin chuckled. “You like having him here?” he asked, leading her into the living room where they both sat down on the couch.

“He’s funny. And he loves you, daddy!”

Seungmin’s eyes widened a little at her words. “What makes you say that?”

“He kissed you,” Jiyeon said, grinning knowingly. Seungmin hadn’t realized that Jiyeon had been watching them. He had never really discussed his attraction to guys with his daughter because he wasn’t sure how much she would understand.

However, she had known Chris and Minho all her life and therefore wasn’t a stranger to same-sex relationships.

“Do you love him too?” Jiyeon asked.

“You’re asking the deep questions today, huh?” Seungmin said, ruffling her hair fondly. “But yes, I do love him. Very much.”

“Will you marry him?”

“Um...”

Well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t married him once before. But to try again? The thought had crossed his mind after he had seen that Hyunjin still wore his wedding ring on him.

“We’ll see about that, baby. You know, Hyunjin and I have known each other for a long time and we have a lot of history together. It’s very hard to explain...”

Jiyeon tilted her head. “You have history with many people. With mommy, too...” she pointed out.

“You’re right. Relationships can be very complicated. You’re lucky you haven’t reached that age yet,” he joked. “And you better take your time with that!”

Jiyeon only made a face. “My friend Gahyeon says boys are yucky!”

Seungmin laughed and put an arm around her shoulders. “They are, aren’t they?”

~

“She knows?” Hyunjin asked the next evening. Seungmin nodded and leaned back on his boyfriend’s couch while bringing the wine glass to his lips.

“She’s perceptive in general but she also saw us kiss.”

“So, the cat’s out of the bag. Are you okay with that?” Hyunjin questioned, looking slightly worried.

“I’m fine. She took it well, so there’s no need to panic,” Seungmin reassured him. He was glad that Jiyeon hadn’t reacted badly to him kissing anybody that wasn’t her mother even though it hadn’t been planned for her to find out about her father’s new relationship so soon. “Anyway, how did your photoshoot go?”

“It was alright. Although I think I’ll be scrubbing glitter off my body for the rest of the week. I don’t think I got everything yesterday...”

“Want me to check?” Seungmin offered, smirking. Hyunjin swatted at him unable to stifle an exasperated laugh.

“Seriously, though. Modelling is fun... it’s just not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life,” Hyunjin told him, taking a sip of his own wine.

“Does your knee really not allow you to dance professionally ever again?” Seungmin questioned, throwing a glance at Hyunjin’s knee which peeked through the rip in his jeans.

“Well, technically...” Hyunjin trailed off, sheepishly. “Back then the doctor gave me an all-clear for dancing. I just felt like I didn’t deserve it anymore. I’d lost all motivation to ever get on stage again. Then, after I was kicked out of college, I started to reconsider but I was lacking the confidence...”

Hyunjin paused, emptying his wine glass. “I thought that becoming a stripper might help with that. And to some extent it did. But not enough to try going professional again. And then I met Junhee,” he explained.

“Hyunjin... it’s not too late for you to do what you love, you know that, right?” Seungmin pointed out.

“I’m not so sure. I’m nearing 30... what if I’m not good enough anymore?”

“You’re still in great shape and you’re talented. 28 isn’t too old. You just have to want it enough,” Seungmin said.

“I do want it...” Hyunjin mumbled. He averted his gaze from Seungmin, seemingly thinking about it. Seungmin dug into his pocket for his wallet, fishing out a card.

“Here, this is the number of JBN’s former lead dance instructor. He opened his own company a while ago. He’s always looking for new talent, regardless of age or backstory. Call him once you make up your mind.”

Hyunjin took the card, examining it for a moment. After a while he set it aside and looked back at Seungmin, a small smile on his face. He scooted closer, cupping his face and kissing him.

“Thanks, Seung, really,” he muttered against his lips.

“You’d do the same for me,” Seungmin replied, grinning before pulling Hyunjin closer by the waist. Hyunjin giggled as he wrapped his arms around Seungmin’s neck and kissed him again.

~

The following week already started on a stressful note. Seungmin met with his lawyers on several occasions, discussing Heejin’s recent behavior and arrest. He was most certainly going to be granted sole custody which, in itself, was amazing. The downside was that they insisted on talking to Jiyeon about her mother’s behavior.

Without him present.

She handled it well but Seungmin was still worried about her, gnawing on his fingernails the entire time she was in with them. If it hadn’t been for Hyunjin, taking both his hands in his at some point he would have chewed them down to the bone.

As if that whole ordeal hadn’t been enough a ring on his doorbell on the evening of a way-too-long Thursday made his week all the more peachy.

“Mom!” Seungmin exclaimed when he opened the door to see who had graced his doorstep.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” she asked. Seungmin, still stunned, stepped aside and let her enter. “Now, hi my dear,” she greeted him, standing on her toes to kiss Seungmin’s cheek.

“Hi... um, please don’t take this the wrong way... but what are you doing here?” Seungmin asked her.

He hadn’t seen his mother in person since Jiyeon’s fourth birthday what with her being the only reason he and his parents had even resumed contact.

Still, he couldn’t really get the falling out that had followed his divorce out of his head whenever he saw either of his parents.

-Flashback-

“Mom, could you pick me up from the station?” Seungmin asked, only barely managing not to let his emotions overwhelm him at being back in his hometown after what felt like ages.

“You’re home?” she asked, surprise evident in her voice. She hadn’t expected Seungmin at home until... well, she hadn’t expected him at all, actually.

“Yes...” he replied.

“Okay, sure. Stay put, I’ll be there soon,” his mother said and hung up.

Seungmin sat down on the old bench in front of the station, wrapping his arms around himself. His tour would resume in five days and he had been encouraged to spend Thanksgiving with his family.

His first thought had been Hyunjin, but their divorce had just been finalized. They were officially separated.

Divorced.

He hadn’t even managed to say it out loud yet. Not even to himself let alone anybody else.

Luckily, it didn’t take his mother very long to come by. Their drive home was silent, and he was inclined to disappear to his old bedroom first thing. Unfortunately, though, he still had some explaining to do. Lots of it.

“Is dad here?” he asked.

“In his study. He was surprised to hear you’re here,” his mom answered. It wasn’t exactly planned, Seungmin thought. “Why didn’t you bring Hyunjin?” she asked.

Seungmin bit his lip, again trying to keep his emotions in check. “Could you just get dad, please?”

She looked concerned but went to get his father. Meanwhile, Seungmin took a deep breath, preparing himself to break some pretty big and disappointing news to his parents.

“Seungmin, good to see you! How’s college?” his father immediately greeted him. Seungmin felt guilt creep up his spine when his father hugged him. “Where’s Hyunjin?” he asked, looking around like he expected Hyunjin to hide behind the sofa.

“That’s uh... kind of why I’m here...” Seungmin started. His parents exchanged worried glances.

“Did something happen? Did you have a fight?” his mother questioned.

“Why don’t we sit?”

“Seungmin, stop stalling,” his father said sternly but they all proceeded to sit down anyway. “Now, what’s going on?”

Seungmin shut his eyes for a second, exhaling sharply. “Hyunjin and I got a divorce, I dropped out of college and went on tour with a world-famous band,” Seungmin blurted out everything before he could chicken out and come up with some kind of elaborate lie.

The room went completely silent for what felt like hours. Seungmin barely dared to breathe. His parents stared at him like they waited for him to burst out laughing and inform them he was pranking them. When he didn’t, his mom clutched her chest in shock.

“Excuse me, what?! A divorce? And why on earth would you drop out of college? Are you out of your mind?” his father yelled at him.

“Hear me out first! I started to gain recognition as a singer in college. People wanted me to play at clubs and events with the faculty band and before I knew it, this guy handed me a card and offered me a record deal–”

“A what?! Seungmin–”

“Mom, please. I’ve already signed with them and I don’t regret that part,” Seungmin told her firmly, interrupting her before she could go off on him. “But... Hyunjin and I got into a fight over it and I left for the tour without a word. Our divorce was finalized last week and I could really just use some support right now,” Seungmin finally closed his story, throwing his parents and almost pleading look.

“Support? We told you getting married so young wasn’t a good idea!” his father yelled. Wow, an I-told-you-so... how very helpful, Seungmin thought bitterly. “You said you loved each other and that you could make it work... and now barely two years in you get a divorce over a minimal fight?”

“It wasn’t minimal, dad! I’m touring the country despite knowing that he was against it. I knew our relationship was suffering and I still went ahead and dealt it the final blow!” Seungmin defended himself.

“Why did you have to drop out of college though? You were on such a promising path,” Seungmin’s mouther complained. Seungmin rolled his eyes. “Now what? Huh?! Now you’re a divorced, college drop-out wannabe rockstar?!”

“I’m–”

“Disgraceful! That’s what you are! We’ve raised you better than that!” his dad shouted. “What’s so bad about attending college and becoming a lawyer? Is it the financial stability? The promising future? The countless opportunities?”

His father was getting really worked up over this but Seungmin wasn’t going to just sit there and take it. He jumped to his feet, fury bubbling in his chest. He couldn’t believe the reaction he was getting.

“Has it ever occurred to you that I simply don’t want to do something that makes me miserable? Am I a bad son because I followed my dream?” he asked, his own voice now raising as well.

“Dreams won’t get you anywhere in life, Seungmin! You’re too young to understand that!”

“You have disappointed us, Seungmin,” his mother added.

Seungmin huffed. “Gee, thanks. I came here to celebrate Thanksgiving with my parents and find some comfort in my family but if that’s the warm welcome I get after telling you about my problems I think it’s better if I spend future holidays elsewhere.” He snatched his duffle bag off the floor and turned on his heel, ignoring his mother calling after him.

He made his way back to the station, despite the fact that the next train wouldn’t run until morning.

-Flashback end-

“Can’t a mother come by to visit her only son?” she questioned before starting to look around. “Where’s my lovely granddaughter?”

“She’s out with–” he cut himself off.

Hyunjin had agreed to take Jiyeon today. An ultimate show of trust on Seungmin’s side. Hyunjin had been over a lot between shoots to be there for them in the midst of the custody thing. Jiyeon had taken a real shine to Hyunjin which made things a lot easier.

Either way, he wasn’t sure whether it was best to tell his mother about Hyunjin first thing.

“She’s out,” he simply said again.

“That’s too bad, I have gifts for her,” she said and lifted up the bag she was carrying with her. “But this way I can get right to the point of my visit,” she added. “Though some tea would be nice after such a long trip...”

Seungmin sighed but motioned for her to sit down as he made his way to the kitchen to fix up some tea. He wondered what “the point” of her visit was, hoping that she wasn’t just here to add more stuff to his plate.

A short while later he returned to the living room where he handed his mother a cup of tea before sitting down in the armchair opposite to the couch she had picked.

“Now, what really brings you here, mom? Is dad okay?” A sliver of worry flashed through him at the thought that something might have happened to his father.

“Oh, he’s alright. He’s sorry he couldn’t make it... he would have loved to see you.”

Yeah right, Seungmin and his father had grown very distant over the past decade. He loved Jiyeon, though, so if he showed up it was for her sake.

“Alright, now for the unpleasant details,” she started, taking a sip of tea. “Your baby mama is all over the news.”

Seungmin raised his eyebrow, waiting for her to go on. “Is that the sole reason you drove halfway across the country? What’s your point?”

Seungmin’s mother gasped in exasperation. “My point? You never told us what kind of problems she had!”

“I don’t remember telling you much of anything since I became an adult,” he retorted.

“How could you get someone like her pregnant?” she said in a scolding manner. His parents had never thought very highly of Heejin but, like him, they usually stayed away from gossip newspapers.

“Pretty much the usual way. Besides, she doesn’t have custody of Jiyeon. Not anymore, at least,” Seungmin informed her.

“Still, Jiyeon is growing up in a very unhealthy environment.”

“I– ... what are you saying?” Seungmin asked her, not liking the direction in which this conversation was heading.

“I’m saying that her mother is addicted to practically everything there is, and her father is a musician! I don’t read these cursed tabloids usually, but our neighbor showed us quite the interesting article about Heejin and you were mentioned quite a few times as well! You can’t tell me you’re making enough time for Jiyeon,” Seungmin’s mother accused him.

“I am making more than enough time for her,” Seungmin argued vigorously.

“But this is no environment for a child! The press, the rumors, the hectic lifestyle...” she said. “Look, your father and I were discussing that in light of her mother’s recent scandal, maybe it would be best for Jiyeon to move in with us.”

Seungmin froze. There was no way in hell he had heard that right. “I beg your pardon?”

“Think about it, Seungmin,” his mom said calmly, not at all thrown off by her son’s sharp tone. “She would be growing up in your old neighborhood. In a stable family environment. I’m retired so I can take care of her 24/7!”

“What the–... I don’t care, you’re not going to take Jiyeon away!” Seungmin snapped. He was trying his damned hardest not to lose his cool in front of his mother but after the week he’d had it took every ounce of willpower.

“It’s just an offer,” his mother told him, still so disgustingly calm.

“Well, it’s a shitty offer, mom!”

Her features hardened like they always did whenever he cussed in front of her. “Language!”

“Okay with all due respect but I’m not 15 anymore! And what you’re not gonna do is come into my house, unannounced – after two years, no less – and try to take over!” he snapped.

She set her cup of tea aside and scooted to the edge of the couch. “Where is this gonna go? Your dad and I are really worried!”

“There’s no need for that! I’m doing the best I can! I always have, especially with Jiyeon! I sat through sleepless nights of sickness, I’ve dealt with every tantrum, I comforted her after every nightmare. I was there when her mother left her for booze, parties and men. I ensured her safety! And I constantly take time off even though my manager would like to have my head on a stick for it. But you know what? I’m doing it because I love it! I love her and I love being a parent!” he ranted, unable to hold back any longer.

All the stress he’d been dealing with; general, band related and Heejin related just got too much with his mother added to the mix.

“I had two working parents and I turned out fine!”

She scoffed almost disdainfully. “Oh yeah, look how fine you turned out! You’re a 28-year-old divorcee with an illegitimate daughter! Her parents are a rockstar and an addict! Don’t you think the girl deserves to grow up like a normal kid?”

Seungmin rose to his feet, glaring down at his mother who was several inches shorter than him. “And you think ripping her away from her father will make it feel more normal for her? Look, you know I love you, ma, but I won’t let you barge in and take away the most precious person in my life,” Seungmin said sternly, dead set on standing his ground.

She sighed, leaning back into a couch cushion. “So what, you’re just gonna raise her alone? Or are you just going to date another deadbeat model?”

Before Seungmin could answer and tell him that he was doing just fine as a single (although not anymore) father, he heard the front door open. An excited squeak sounded through the house and seconds later Hyunjin appeared in the doorway with Jiyeon on his shoulders smiling from ear to ear.

Seungmin’s mother took in the picture with widened eyes, clearly not having expected her former son-in-law in the doorway. Maybe Seungmin should have told her after all.

“Hyunjin?”

“Mrs. Kim...” Hyunjin replied, equally as surprised.

“Grandma!” Jiyeon exclaimed cheerfully. Hyunjin put her down so she could greet her grandma who chuckled and hugged the little girl.

“Finally, someone who’s happy to see me! My, you’ve gotten so big, my dear!” she cooed. Seungmin tried to school his pissed off expression into a smile but it must’ve looked very tight-lipped for Hyunjin raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Jiyeon, would you like some orange juice?” Seungmin asked.

“Yes please!”

“Okay, grandma’s got some gifts for you, I’ll go get you your juice,” Seungmin said. He took Hyunjin’s hand and led him along to the kitchen.

“Alright, what happened?” Hyunjin asked, stopping Seungmin before he reached the fridge, wrapping his arms around his waist. Seungmin relaxed almost immediately into his hold. He reluctantly told him about his mother’s agenda, relieved to find Hyunjin siding with him on the matter.

“Just... why can’t I ever catch a break?” he asked. Hyunjin stroked Seungmin’s hair, pulling his head closer to make it rest on his shoulder. “I won’t let her take my kid.”

“Of course not. You’re a great father, Seung. You should hear the way Jiyeon talks about you. You’re her hero.”

Seungmin’s heart warmed at his words. He never would have thought that he would become a dad so early in his life but from the moment he had first heard this little girl’s heartbeat when she was barely the size of a sweet pea he had sworn to himself that he would do anything in his power to keep her safe from any kind of harm.

“Let’s go back,” Seungmin said. He reluctantly pulled out of the hug, however, not before pressing a chaste kiss to Hyunjin’s lips. He grabbed the juice for Jiyeon before taking Hyunjin’s hand as they headed back to the living room.

“Daddy, can I visit grandma and grandpa over Christmas?” Jiyeon asked excitedly. Seungmin glared at his mother who simply shrugged.

“We’ll see, baby. Come on, drink your juice and then it’s off to bed. It’s a school night,” Seungmin said. She pouted but complied. “I’ll come upstairs in a minute, alright?” he promised her. She skipped upstairs to brush her teeth and put on her PJs.

“So, you two are back together, huh?” Seungmin’s mom spoke up as soon as the child was out of earshot. Seungmin felt Hyunjin squeeze his hand reassuringly.

“We are,” Hyunjin confirmed.

“Getting remarried any time soon or are you actually going to be reasonable this time?”

“Look, I know you didn’t approve of the fact that we eloped back then but if you’re only here to destroy this family–”

“What family? You think he’s not just going to leave you again once an opportunity knocks?!” she interrupted Hyunjin harshly. Seungmin didn’t appreciate being spoken about like he wasn’t in the room but before he could protest his mother continued: “Please, Hyunjin. I always knew you weren’t the brightest, but I never thought you’d be so stupid!”

“Okay that’s enough!” Seungmin finally interfered, “you’re leaving. Right now. And I don’t want you or dad back here any time soon.”

She looked at him, surprised. “You’re kicking me out?”

“You’ve crossed so many lines in the hour you’ve been here so yes, I’m kicking you out. Good night!”

She got up, shaking her head slowly before looking back at Hyunjin. “See how he values his family?” She headed for the door but turned around once more. “Tell my granddaughter good night for me, will you.” With that she finally left. Seungmin exhaled and flopped down on the armchair again.

Hyunjin sat down on the armrest, putting his arm around Seungmin’s shoulders. Seungmin sighed and rubbed his temples in an attempt to get rid of his oncoming migraine.

“Sorry you had to witness that. And I’m sorry she said that to you,” he apologized after a few moments of silence.

“Babe, I’ve seen you fight with your parents since we were like 13. I just didn’t remember her to be like... that...”

“They’ve grown rather icy towards me since I showed up on their doorstep and told them we’d gotten a divorce and I’d dropped out of college to go on tour. Imagine their reaction when I called them and said ‘hey mom, hey dad. My girlfriend is four months pregnant, you’re gonna be grandparents!’”

Hyunjin made a face. “It probably didn’t go too well...”

“They asked me to ‘at least marry her.’ When Jiyeon was born and they saw her, they warmed up to her, but they still looked at me like I had permanently tainted to good family name or something.” Seungmin laughed humorlessly. “Parents of the Year, right?”

He rose from his armchair, stretching his exhausted limbs. “I’m gonna go check on Jiyeon. I’ll be right back.”

“Take your time,” Hyunjin said, smiling. Seungmin let his fingers brush over Hyunjin’s shoulder as he passed him. Once again, he was beyond grateful for his presence.

It felt good to not have to deal with his stress alone and in return to help Hyunjin with his own worries. It felt good to be in a relationship again.

~

Once he had tucked an already half-asleep Jiyeon in, he made his way back downstairs only to stop in his tracks when he found the lights dimmed and candles lit. Hyunjin was currently lighting the last one before standing back up. When he saw Seungmin he jumped in surprise then chuckled at himself.

Seungmin grinned at him. “What is all this?” he asked.

“I figured you could use some relaxation. I was going to whip out the wine but that’s probably not the wisest idea, so I got grape juice,” Hyunjin explained, causing Seungmin to laugh when his boyfriend poured grape juice into wine glasses. Hyunjin then sat down on the couch, beckoning Seungmin over.

Seungmin gratefully took one glass from his hands and sat down next to him, leaning into his side. “Will you stay the night?” he questioned.

“Sure, you know how grape juice gets to me, I really shouldn’t be driving tonight,” Hyunjin joked. “Besides, you look like you’re in need of serious cuddles.”

That was probably true. Hyunjin’s touch tended to have a pretty relaxing effect on Seungmin so he really wouldn’t mind having his worries cuddled away for just one night. Hyunjin’s arm circled around his waist as the latter relaxed further into his side.

“Are you feeling a little bit better now?”

Against his expectations (and his will) Seungmin felt his eyes starting to burn with tears at the question. He mentally cursed himself and sniffled, seemingly alarming Hyunjin.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” he asked, sitting upright with his arm still around Seungmin who tried to wave off. He wiped his eyes – to no avail.

“God, I’m sorry... I don’t even know why I’m crying all of a sudden,” Seungmin apologized.

“Seung...”

“I’m okay, I’m okay...” Seungmin tried to reassure him, feeling guilty at the look of worry in Hyunjin’s eyes. “It just tends to get too much sometimes, you know?” A few stray tears escaped his eyes which he wiped away vigorously. Hyunjin’s hand came to a rest on Seungmin’s shoulder, squeezing it once.

“Sounds to me like you’re not okay.”

Seungmin sighed, pressing the balls of his hands onto his closed eyes in an attempt to stop the tears. He exhaled shakily. “I just...” he started. “God, this is so embarrassing.”

“It’s okay. I told you I’d be there for you. I even made a vow once, remember?”

Seungmin let out a choked laugh. “Right... alright. I just love my daughter so much, you know. But sometimes it feels like that’s not enough. Like I’m not enough.” He removed his hands from his eyes to look at Hyunjin.

“You’re an amazing father, Seung,” he said earnestly.

“Everyone seems to believe that Jiyeon deserves better, though. Heejin, my parents...”

“Well, they don’t know shit! You’re balancing a career, fame and a six-year-old and you’re doing great! I admire you so much for all of it. You’re certainly allowed to feel overwhelmed, especially considering what’s been going on lately,” Hyunjin told him. “You know I’m right here to help you unwind.”

Seungmin reached up to caress his boyfriend’s cheek. “And I love you so much for that. I’m so sorry, though. You didn’t sign up for all of this baggage,” he said.

“I signed up for you. All of you. Including the stress, your mother and of course, your lovely daughter,” Hyunjin retorted, putting his own hand on top of Seungmin’s which still rested on his cheek. “I love you.”

He pulled Seungmin into a hug which the younger gladly returned. “I love you too,” Seungmin muttered into his shirt. They stayed like that until Seungmin had stopped crying and his chest finally felt a little lighter. He smiled faintly.

“Earlier, you referred to us as a family,” he pointed out. He hadn’t missed that part when Hyunjin had told off his mother and quite frankly he wasn’t opposed to the idea at all.

“I’ve always felt most at home when I’m with you. Even before we got married. You’ve always been family to me, Seung. And now that includes Jiyeon too,” Hyunjin explained.

Seungmin’s smile widened; he shifted to rest his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder again. “She really likes you, you know.”

It was heartwarming to see how excited Jiyeon always got when she heard that Hyunjin was coming around. He had even managed to kick Jeongin off his throne because he made a “prettier princess.” Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she knew that Seungmin and Hyunjin had a special relationship, but she definitely seemed fond of him.

“She’s an angel,” Hyunjin said. “Just like her father,” he added, pressing a kiss to Seungmin’s temple. Seungmin whined at his boyfriend’s cheesy remark, causing him to chuckle.

“I just realized that I promised her an amusement park day. Why don’t we all go together this weekend? Are you free?”

“I have something on Saturday but I’m free all Sunday. Amusement park sounds great!”

Seungmin smiled again and nuzzled his face into the crook of Hyunjin’s neck. He smelled kind of flowery.  “Are you using a different cologne than usual?” he asked, voice muffled because he didn’t bother to lift his head.

“I’m modelling for a new fragrance and they gave me a sample. I’m just trying it out. Do you like it?” Hyunjin asked. Seungmin just hummed in confirmation.

“You smell really good,” he mumbled. Hyunjin’s fingers started drawing random patterns into the skin of his shoulder.

“So do you,” he replied. Seungmin finally lifted his head the slightest bit, reaching up to turn Hyunjin’s face in his direction. They were so close that Seungmin went a little cross-eyed looking into his eyes. His gaze trailed down to his lips albeit for no more than a second. He felt Hyunjin’s breath fanning over his lips and he leaned in even closer; lips not quite touching Hyunjin’s yet.

Eventually, Hyunjin seemed to be losing his patience, cupping Seungmin’s face and closing the distance, kissing him. Seungmin made a surprised noise at the sudden change of pace but eased into it fairly quickly. It only took one gentle nibble on Hyunjin’s bottom lip for Seungmin to take over. Hyunjin whined when Seungmin climbed onto his lap, deepening the kiss.

“Wait, we should stop... we can’t do this here,” Hyunjin said between kisses.

“I know... I know...” Seungmin agreed, slightly out of breath, leaning in for one more kiss before getting ahold of himself.

“You’re...” Hyunjin trailed off. “You’re really something, you know that?”

“Right back at you,” Seungmin replied, grinning. “This is your fault for smelling so good.”

Hyunjin laughed. “Then maybe I should go wash this off,” he said. He lifted Seungmin off his lap, so he was now half-laying on the couch before kissing him once more, effortlessly making Seungmin crave for more. Being the meanie he was, though, he pulled back and disappeared upstairs to the bathroom to wash up (and cool down).

Seungmin sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It wasn’t necessarily easy for either of them to keep their hands to themselves once they got too into it; it had always been like that. That usually wasn’t a problem but Hyunjin tended to get quite... loud. So they normally held back when they weren’t alone.

Hyunjin emerged from the bathroom just as Seungmin emerged from his room. He was dressed in some of Seungmin’s clothes again which made him look extra cute. A huge contrast to what he had looked like 20 minutes ago.

“I’ll go wash up,” Seungmin said, grabbing a fresh set of clothes before heading to the bathroom.

When he got out of the shower Hyunjin had already snuggled underneath the covers. He opened his arms for Seungmin with a smile on his face. Seungmin got in next to him, finally claiming his well-deserved cuddles.

“Good night, my love,” Seungmin mumbled into Hyunjin’s (his) shirt.

“Good night, babe.”

~

Seungmin was woken up by the sound of his phone ringing the next morning. He lifted his head groggily, trying to untangle his limbs from Hyunjin’s. Somehow their positions had shifted overnight so that Hyunjin’s head was now laying on top of his chest. Seungmin felt around for the phone on his nightstand.

“What – I mean hello?” he said sleepily.

“Mr. Kim? This is Sohyun; CEO Nam’s secretary. Um, the CEO would like to speak to you. He said it’s urgent. Could you come down to the office in, say, an hour?” she questioned.

Seungmin rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “Did he say what it was about?” he asked her.

“No, I’m afraid not. One hour, okay?”

“Sure, okay,” Seungmin agreed before hanging up.

He let his head drop back into the pillows with a groan. What could Nam want? Promotions were over and Seungmin hadn’t really gotten around to writing anything in the past few weeks. Hyunjin stirred awake, blinking a few times before closing his eyes again.

“Who was that?” he muttered into the fabric of Seungmin’s shirt.

“The company. I have to go there for something...” Seungmin told him.

“What for?”

“They wouldn’t say,” Seungmin answered. “I should go and call Jeongin to see if he’s still free to take Jiyeon after school today,” he added, pressing a kiss to Hyunjin’s forehead before rolling out of bed.

“I wish I could take her, but I have a shoot later...” Hyunjin murmured.

Seungmin smiled at him, rounding the bed to head for his closet. He grabbed a few clothes and went to sit down on the edge of Hyunjin’s side of the bed. Seungmin ran a hand through Hyunjin’s hair, causing him to stir again.

“Get a little more rest before you go...”

Seungmin showered and got dressed before preparing breakfast for Jiyeon and waking her. He had texted Jeongin somewhere along the way and his phone beeped just as Jiyeon started her meal.

“Jeongin’s going to pick you up from school today,” Seungmin told his daughter when he’d read the younger’s confirmation.

“Awesome!” Jiyeon exclaimed happily. She looked around.

“Where’s Hyunjin?”

“Still asleep. He has to work later so he’s getting some rest first,” Seungmin told her. She pouted a little but proceeded to finish her breakfast. “Good news is, I’ll drop you off today!”

“Really?”

“Yes, I have to head out now, so I’ll take you along. Are you ready to go now?” Seungmin asked her, chuckling when she scrambled off her seat to fetch her bag.

~

“Seatbelt,” Seungmin instructed, checking the time on his phone before pocketing it. He turned in his seat to check if Jiyeon had buckled up before starting the car. He still had 20 minutes to get Jiyeon to school and head to his CEO’s office. He would probably be late but, to be fair, only giving him one hour was a little short notice.

“Have a great day at school today sweetheart. I’ll see you tonight at the latest!” Seungmin told her once he had pulled up in the school parking lot. Jiyeon snatched her bag up and opened the car door.

“Bye dad, see you later!” she exclaimed happily before exiting the car. Seungmin watched her catch up with some friends, a small smile on his face. A beep from his phone reminded him of his appointment. He cursed under his breath and took off, heading towards the company.

~

CEO Nam didn’t say anything about his tardiness. In fact, he didn’t say anything at all. He only motioned for Seungmin to take a seat which he did. A few moments passed in which neither of them spoke.

Eventually, though, CEO Nam sighed and leaned his elbows onto his desk. “Your name has been popping up in the tabloids lately...”

“So I’ve been told,” Seungmin mumbled, displeased when he thought about his mother’s unpleasant visit. “I’m sorry about this matter with Heejin, sir. I’ve taken necessary steps to–”

“I’m not talking about Heejin!” Nam interrupted him fiercely. He slammed a crumpled-up magazine onto the desk. “Page 6.”

“Page 6...” Seungmin repeated, opening said page. He froze. A blurry picture showed him and Hyunjin kissing in front of a coffee shop. It must have been from some time last week when Hyunjin had taken him out for coffee to cheer him up after a long sit-down with the lawyers. Above the picture was a horribly tacky headline Seungmin didn’t even bother to read. He looked back up at CEO Nam.

“Picking up my sloppy seconds, are we?” the CEO asked.

Seungmin’s features darkened at the remark. “Don’t disrespect him like that!”

Nam scoffed. “Are you the reason he left me?”

“No. You’re the reason he left you. With all due respect, sir but most people don’t like being treated as a piece of property. Besides... Hyunjin and I go way back,” Seungmin answered.

Why was this geezer acting like Hyunjin was the one that got away?

“What, like high school sweethearts or something?” Nam said mockingly. Seungmin couldn’t help himself. He smirked and leaned back in his seat.

“More like childhood friends turned high school sweethearts who got married before college.” Nam paled, clearly not having expected their relationship to be this deep-rooted. “Come on, don’t you run background checks on your artists?” Seungmin questioned, knowing full-well that he did no such thing.

The CEO glowered at him. Five years earlier Seungmin probably would have been scared of him but he knew that this guy was all talk and no game.

“Either way, sir. Why did you call me here? My contract states that I’m allowed to date freely after three years. It’s been eight. So, what seems to be the problem?”

“Have you read the article?” CEO Nam questioned, clearly suppressing his anger.

“No, sir. I have not. I usually don’t engage in gossip,” Seungmin answered truthfully. He had never bothered with tabloids and he certainly wouldn’t start now.

“Well, it doesn’t reflect the company all too well!” Nam snapped. Seungmin only barely held back a huff. What he probably meant to say was that the article reflected him badly. It probably didn’t look too good when one of your artists was seen with your ex-boyfriend.

“Sorry to hear that,” Seungmin answered. “Look, sir. I’m sorry that your relationship didn’t work out, but I still don’t quite understand why you called me here for this...”

The CEO leaned back in his chair and folded his hands in his lap, regarding Seungmin with an unreadable look.

“You know, it’s funny you mentioned your contract earlier. It’s expiring soon, right?” he asked. Seungmin raised an eyebrow. “We have options here. You’re a great musician, Seungmin. It would be a shame for you to leave us once it does expire. And you know how much I like getting what I want. I’m sure we could meet somewhere in the middle.”

“Are you threatening me?” Seungmin asked, his tone icy at the implications.

“I wouldn’t dream of it. I’m merely suggesting... an exchange, so to speak. A stable career for you and your band... in exchange for you convincing Hyunjin to come back to me.”

~

Seungmin tried his hardest not to burst through the door of Chris’ studio. There had been way too many incidents of Seungmin running into rather steamy happenings between him and Minho to last for a lifetime. Instead, he knocked, still fuming, and only entered after hearing a muffled “come in~”

Chris was sitting in his chair, hitting pause on the song that was currently playing. Seungmin spotted Minho in the recording booth. The dancer waved at him and he curtly waved back.

“Oh hey, Minho’s just helping me with some...” Chris trailed off, his excited smile dropping as soon as he laid eyes on Seungmin and he quickly motioned for Minho to come out of the recording booth. “What’s wrong?” he questioned.

Seungmin let himself fall into the empty chair next to Chris only to jump right back to his feet, too furious to sit still. Minho came out of the recording booth and proceeded to take a seat in Chris’ lap.

“I just almost punched our CEO in the face!” Seungmin finally said. Saying the words out loud did nothing to calm his anger. Chris and Minho stared back at him with widened eyes.

“What? Why?” Minho asked.

“Because he’s a disgusting piece of shit, that’s why!” Seungmin snapped. That only seemed to worry his friends further.

“Seung, he didn’t try to do anything to you, did he?” Chris asked carefully. Seungmin stopped in his tracks, looking at the two of them. He was so angry that he didn’t understand the implication right away but when he did, he was quick to wave off.

“No, god, no! He called me into his office because he was pissed about me and Hyunjin and–” he cut himself off, getting more furious the more he thought about it. “He literally told me that if I don’t give Hyunjin back to him he wouldn’t let us renew our contracts next month!” Seungmin was still pacing around the room in a futile attempt to blow off some steam.

“Give Hyunjin back?” Chris asked, seemingly unsure whether he had heard that part correctly.

“Yes, he called it an exchange, like he’s some kind of fucking object! God, I should have punched him; why didn’t I punch him?!”

Minho got up and walked up to Seungmin, putting his hands on his shoulders to make him stay in place. “I know this is infuriating but you need to calm down first. Deep breaths. It’s a good thing you didn’t punch him, or he would have busted your ass for aggravated assault,” he said.

Seungmin exhaled, trying to calm down. He knew Minho was right, but it was hard for him to stay grounded when it was about his family. He took a deep breath, feeling only the slightest bit calmer.

“I’m sorry...” he addressed Chris.

“Seung, don’t apologize to me,” Chris told him.

“But I’ve jeopardized the future of the entire band! A band we put our everything into!” Seungmin argued. He felt terrible about how everything had played out. Minho made him sit down in the chair from before.

“Think about what you sacrificed to even get here, Seung,” Chris pointed out. Seungmin halted. He had given up being with Hyunjin before, in favor of his career. And now he was faced with a similar choice again. “You should go talk to Hyunjin first.”

“Right, you’re not bargaining with his ass!” Minho told him sternly.

“Of course not. That’s completely out of the question!” Seungmin agreed. “I just don’t want to lose him again. He’s so supportive of my career so what if he does something irrational to protect the band? Or what if he thinks that I’ll leave him again?”

“Okay look, you need to calm down first. I don’t know Hyunjin all that well but from what I’ve seen so far, he loves you very much! You just have to explain the situation to him and talk to him about it,” Chris advised him.

“But you guys–”

“I’ll get the rest of us together tomorrow and we’ll discuss everything then. For now, go home. You look like you’re going to collapse,” Chris said, giving his younger bandmate a concerned look. Seungmin sighed and slumped back into the chair. Some rest really would be nice but with everything going on in his mind right now, he doubted that he could find a peaceful second.

“I’ve had a really stressful week. This shit is just the tip of the iceberg...” Seungmin told the two of them. Minho patted his shoulder comfortingly.

“Why don’t I take you home then? I’m not sure you should be driving,” the dancer said. Seungmin nodded and reached into his pocket to hand him his car keys.

~

“You and Hyunjin are getting pretty serious, aren’t you?” Minho asked him on the car ride back to Seungmin’s place.

“We’ve been serious from the beginning,” Seungmin pointed out. “I wouldn’t have gotten back together with him otherwise...”

Minho smiled faintly. “I want what you have,” he said almost longingly. Seungmin furrowed his brows in confusion and turned in his seat to look at him.

“Don’t you have it already? With Chris?” he questioned.

“In a way, yes... but I’m not sure if Chris would ever want to marry me. It feels great with him now, but I don’t know if it will last...” Minho explained. Then he shrugged his shoulders and shook his head dismissively. “Sorry, forget I said anything...”

“Minho...” Seungmin trailed off. “I’m here if you want to talk.”

“I’m just overthinking. We’re getting older, you know? I’m 30 years old and I guess I just feel like I want to settle down, maybe start a family,” Minho told him.

“And you don’t see a future with Chris?” Seungmin questioned.

“That’s the thing. I only see Chris in my future. But I don’t know if he feels the same because every time I subtly bring it up he either dodges the subject or doesn’t pick up on it at all,” Minho said. They pulled up in Seungmin’s driveway and Minho sighed, leaning back in his seat. “What do you think I should do?”

“I think you need to be upfront with him about what you want. We’re not teenagers anymore so if we pass up our chances now, we might never get another one...” Seungmin advised him. “All I know is that you two just make sense. A world without Minchan is unthinkable at this point.”

Minho laughed at his words. “I always knew you were the president of this ship,” he teased.

Seungmin grinned proudly. “That’s correct. So go follow your own advice and talk it over with him,” he said. “I gotta go...”

He got out of the car and was about to close the door when Minho spoke up again. “Thanks, Seungmin. You have so much on your plate already and I didn’t mean to bother you with my stuff too...”

“Don’t worry about it. You always make time for me. It’s only natural I do the same.” Minho smiled at him and closed the car door, making his way inside.

He found the house empty, figuring that Jiyeon was still at school and Hyunjin was working. Seungmin headed to the kitchen, pouring himself a drink before sitting down on the couch in the living room. He took a deep breath trying not to let the weight of the events of the past week crush him.

Seungmin took a long sip from his glass and leaned his head back on the couch. His earlier anger had been replaced with exhaustion. And a migraine. Why did stressful things always come as a package?

He didn’t know how long he sat there for so he jumped when he heard the front door open and shut again.

“Seung? Are you home?” It was Hyunjin’s voice, a soft and gentle cure for Seungmin’s migraine.

“I’m in here, babe,” he called back. Hyunjin entered the living room and sat down next to him, throwing an arm around his shoulders. Seungmin immediately leaned against him. “How was your shoot?”

“Great! It was fun! But Seung... do you want to tell me why you’re day-drinking alone at two in the afternoon?” Hyunjin questioned, sounding concerned.

“I only had one. I’m saving up my getting drunk when Jiyeon’s visiting her friend for a sleepover...” Seungmin mumbled.

“Babe, what happened? You’re kind of worrying me...” Hyunjin said.

“Can we just get married again and move far, far away from all of this bullshit?” He felt Hyunjin freeze up a little and realized what he had just said. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to say this out loud...” Seungmin added and sat up straight.

“Do you really want to marry me again?” Hyunjin asked, eyes wide.

“I’ve thought about it more often lately...” Seungmin admitted. “I love you and I want to be with you. And I need guys like Nam to know that that’s not going to change!”

Hyunjin leaned away and gave him a confused look. “Woah, wait. What does Junhee have to do with us?” he questioned.

“He said something when I was there today...” Seungmin replied. This was not how he had wanted to approach this subject, but his brain wasn’t really the best at following orders today.

“What did he say” Hyunjin asked wearily.

“Don’t freak out, please. I told him to go to hell...”

“Seung, what did he say?” Hyunjin asked, his voice growing colder. Seungmin sighed in defeat and proceeded to tell Hyunjin about his conversation with the CEO. Hyunjin had tensed up and was staring angry holes into the coffee table.

“So let me get this straight,” Hyunjin started once Seungmin had closed his story, “Junhee tries to blackmail you into some kind of fucked up trade and your response is to ask me to marry you? As, what, some kind of technicality? For convenience? Possession?” he snapped.

“No, I’m–... this isn’t what I mean,” Seungmin exclaimed. “I’m going to tell him that I won’t agree!”

“You haven’t told him that yet?” Hyunjin asked disbelievingly.

“I was angry! I would have punched him in the face if I had stayed any longer. So I told him to go to hell and left. It was implied. I’ll be talking to the guys tomorrow. There’s no way he’ll get his way.”

“No shit, he won’t. I can’t believe you’d even...” Hyunjin trailed off furiously, rising from his seat and distancing himself from Seungmin.

“Will you just listen to me please?” Seungmin pleaded, eyes widening slightly when Hyunjin turned to leave. “Jin, please. Can you wait a second? Please?” Seungmin got up and followed Hyunjin into the foyer where he was putting on his jacket.

“I can’t do this right now, Seung. I just need to be by myself for a bit. It’s probably for the best if I sleep at home tonight,” Hyunjin told him without looking at him.

“I worded it wrong earlier. We should talk about this,” Seungmin countered.

“And we will. But not right now!” Hyunjin replied. He turned to Seungmin; his eyes unreadable. “See you tomorrow...”

With that he left Seungmin behind in the foyer.

~

“Daddy, are you sad?” Jiyeon asked a few hours later at dinner. Jeongin had dropped her off two hours ago and despite Seungmin’s attempt to put on a brave face, his little girl was nothing if not perceptive.

“I’ve just had a few tough days, sweetheart. Nothing to worry about,” he told her honestly, yet with a small smile.

“Where is Hyunjin?” Jiyeon questioned next.

Seungmin swallowed thickly, thinking back to his earlier conversation with Hyunjin. The cold disappointment in his eyes. Like he had expected this thing they had to be too good to be true and Seungmin had just proven him right.

“Hyunjin is spending some time at home.”

“Oh... can’t he live here?”

“I... if he wanted to, he could.”

“Can we ask him?”

“Soon, sweetheart,” Seungmin told her.

Jiyeon seemed content with that for now and continued to finish her plate. Afterwards Seungmin listened to her talking about school and her friends for a while, grateful for the distraction. He was also glad to see that she seemed to be doing okay despite all the troubles with her mother.

“Okay, time for bed, my darling,” Seungmin said with a chuckle when Jiyeon yawned for the fourth time in a row.

“I’m not tired, though...” Jiyeon argued; her eyes were getting droopier by the second, though, defeating her point.

“Yeah right, come on. Let’s get you to bed, princess,” Seungmin said, getting up and picking her up. She squealed in excitement as he carried her up the stairs. She brushed her teeth, put on her pajamas and got into bed.

“Want me to read you something?” Seungmin asked her, ruffling her hair.

“Daddy, don’t you think I’m a little too old for fairy tales?” Jiyeon asked sleepily, surprising Seungmin.

“One is never too old for fairy tales, princess. But if you don’t want to, I’ll just...”

“No! Can you read me my favorite?” she caved. Seungmin chuckled and reached for the book of fairy tales.

~

Once Jiyeon had fallen asleep Seungmin decided to pour himself one more drink before heading downstairs to continue distracting himself through music. Unsurprisingly, he wasn’t inspired at all, though. He finished his drink way too quickly and just ended up staring at his guitar until he almost fell off his stool, tired as he was.

He decided to head to bed and hoped that Hyunjin would be willing to talk tomorrow. He couldn’t lose him again. Not because of this.

Seungmin crawled into bed without bothering to change first and his sheer exhaustion made it easy for him to fall asleep almost instantly.

He was woken up a while later by the feeling of his bed dipping behind him and an arm wrapping around his waist.

“Hm...” he mumbled sleepily.

“It’s just me, go back to sleep,” Hyunjin’s soothing voice murmured into his ear. Seungmin, however, opened his eyes and turned around in his hold.

“I thought you were mad at me,” Seungmin said, his voice raspy from sleep. He, too, now wrapped his arm around Hyunjin, unwilling to let him go any time soon.

“I couldn’t stand sleeping alone knowing things were like we left them...” Hyunjin admitted.

“I didn’t mean to make it seem like you were a business deal. I wanted to approach the situation differently. I’m really sorry...” Seungmin apologized, reaching up a hand to stroke Hyunjin’s hair.

“No, I know. I gave you shit for wording it wrong, but you know my past, especially with him...”

“That’s why I’m so sorry. I was determined to never make you feel like an object. Because you’re not...”

“I know, baby. Don’t worry about it anymore. Let’s just move forward, shall we? I went to Junhee and terminated my contract. It was borderline sexual harassment to want “me” in exchange for your future. You’ve got your renewal if you want it,” Hyunjin explained.

Seungmin stared back at him. “Y-you... how?!” He felt Hyunjin shrug.

“It was either that or me reporting him and going to the tabloids. He’s not the only one who can blackmail someone,” he replied, tightening his grip around Seungmin’s waist.

“I love you, you know that?” Seungmin said, cupping his cheek and kissing him. Hyunjin smiled into the kiss and pulled Seungmin on top of him, wrapping both arms around him tightly.

“I love you too,” Hyunjin replied.

~

“Alright guys, our renewal is back on the table, but the question is... do we want it?” Chris asked when the band gathered in Seungmin’s living room the next day.

“I mean, we’ve always known that Nam was a sleazeball but after what he pulled I’m not sure we should represent his company anymore,” Jisung spoke up, casually leaning against Seungmin’s side, like the affectionate person he was.

“Agreed. Besides, we knew our contract was expiring and had some different plans for the future anyway,” Changbin spoke up. Seungmin recalled Chris, Changbin and Jisung discussing the possibility to open their own label and go independent.

“Yeah, but those were just plans... nothing truly set in stone,” Chris reasoned. He faced Seungmin. “What do you want, Seung?”

“Well, I definitely want to keep making music. But I have thought about focusing on my family a bit more. If we were to go independent, it would be easier for me to do that...”

“We’re definitely staying together, though, right?” Felix asked, earning himself a round of agreement.

“So... we might have to go on hiatus for a while. Building up a company isn’t something you can just do in a week,” Chris reasoned. “I’ve looked into some things before but even if we work really hard it might take us a while...”

“Our fans will understand. They sat through Seungmin’s Heejin troubles and they’re still here,” Changbin joked.

“Fuck off!” Seungmin shot back, chuckling.

“So are we really doing this?” Jisung questioned.

“I think we should. I want to make music with you guys until I’m 80!” Seungmin told them. “I kind of love you all... sometimes...”

That earned him lots of cooing and a group hug.

“Ooh, we’re hugging, let me join!” Hyunjin’s voice suddenly sounded from the doorway. He was happily added to the hug-pile. “Alright, not that I’m not thoroughly enjoying this but... why are we hugging again?” Hyunjin asked, voice muffled by somebody’s shirt.

“Seungmin went soft on us,” Chris informed him.

“Oh, right. He’s always pretending to be a hardass in front of people he’s not whipped for,” Hyunjin teased.

“Once I’m not getting squeezed to death anymore, I’ll kick your ass!” Seungmin mock-threatened.

“Kinky!” Jisung commented and since he was within reach Seungmin poked his side, earning himself a squeal.

“Okay, guys that’s enough affection for the next decade!” Seungmin exclaimed. The others backed away, laughing but Seungmin grabbed Hyunjin’s hand. “Not you,” he said and pulled him onto his lap.

“By the way, where is my lovely unofficial goddaughter?” Jisung asked.

“She’s at her friend’s house,” Seungmin said.

“Man, I remember when she was barely the size of a football and now she’s out alone,” Jisung aid with a fake sniffle. “Felix, I want a baby!”

Felix pointed at himself, confused. “I don’t know what you’re hoping to hear from me, dude...” he said. “Besides, buy me dinner first!”

Seungmin laughed at his friends’ bickering, glad that he had these chaotic people in his life. He wrapped his arms around Hyunjin’s waist and for the first time this week, he just let himself bask in the moment.

~

The next day Seungmin, Hyunjin and Jiyeon finally went to the amusement park. The little girl was beyond excited, walking between them, one hand linked with each one of them. They looked like a real family.

“So, what do you want to do first?” Hyunjin asked Jiyeon who looked around excitedly.

“I think I want to go on the carrousel first! Can we?” Jiyeon asked.

“Sure! Do you want to go with her now? It might get you off the hook for the rollercoaster later,” Seungmin asked, only loud enough for Hyunjin to hear.

“Good thinking,” Hyunjin replied, pressing a kiss of gratitude to Seungmin’s cheek before heading in the direction of the carrousel with Jiyeon by his side.

Seungmin watched the two of them fondly as they lined up for the carrousel. It wasn’t too cold, considering it was nearing December, but Jiyeon still looked cute in her thick coat and wool beanie.

Seungmin reached into the pocket of his own coat, feeling for the small box he had slipped in there this morning. He took a nervous breath, trying to calm himself down. He had had told himself he would do it today but there was no denying that he was scared Hyunjin might reject him. He might ruin everything.

Seungmin grabbed his phone and looked for Jisung’s contact, pressing call once he had found it.

Jisung, ever the responsible friend, picked up after the third ring. “Hey, aren’t you in the middle of an adorable family outing right now?” he asked, the grin audible in his voice.

“I’m kind of freaking out,” Seungmin admitted.

“Why, is everything okay?” Jisung questioned, suddenly sounding concerned.

“I bought a ring...” A squeal on Jisung’s end made Seungmin hold the phone away from his ear. “Yes, exciting. But I’m scared to ask him. Last time I mentioned it we had a fight,” he said, once Jisung had calmed down.

“That wasn’t because he didn’t want to marry you, though. From what you told me it was because your dumbass implied that you wanted to get married as a technicality,” Jisung told him, surprisingly serious considering that he had been squealing in Seungmin’s ear 20 seconds ago. “Ask him, Seung. You two were always meant to be. He’s going to say yes.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Let’s just say falling in love has made me an optimist~” Jisung chirped.

“Wait, what? Have you met someone?” Seungmin asked, surprised. Jisung chuckled.

“I gotta go now. You have a proposal to pull off. Love you!” he said.

“Hey–” Seungmin exclaimed but got cut off by Jisung hanging up. He pouted, really wanting to know who had stolen his friend’s heart.

“Daddy!” The sound of his daughter’s excited voice made Seungmin look up. Hyunjin and Jiyeon were approaching him with matching wide smiles on their faces. Seungmin’s heart warmed at the sight. This was it. He loved those two beyond everything. Jisung was right. Hyunjin would say yes and this time Seungmin would do right by him.

“Hey, did you have fun?” Seungmin asked. Jiyeon grinned and nodded excitedly. “What do you want to do next?”

“Can we go on the rollercoaster next?” Jiyeon asked. Hyunjin grimaced, causing Seungmin to laugh.

“Of course we can. I’ll go with you this time!”

“And afterwards, the Haunted House?” Jiyeon asked.

“Oh boy, I’m starting to regret this,” Hyunjin murmured. Seungmin chuckled and squeezed his shoulder in comfort.

“I’ll hold your hand the entire time, don’t worry,” he half-teased. Hyunjin pouted but couldn’t hold back a grin at the prospect of getting to hold his hand.

~

Once Jiyeon was done with all the big rides they decided to get some food. Seungmin and Hyunjin had gotten quite a few stares already and he had spotted a few people pointing their phones at them but so far nobody had really bothered them in their booth. He tried to shield Jiyeon from the cameras as best as he could, though.

“What do you want to do when we’re done eating?” Hyunjin asked Jiyeon who was happily munching on some fries.

“Jeongin wanted to go on the Ferris wheel with me last time but it was closed...”

“So you want to go today?” Seungmin asked her, causing Jiyeon to nod. “Alright then, that’s where we’re headed next!”

A tap on his shoulder made him look up to find a young woman looking at him. “Can I bother you for a second?” she questioned.

“Actually...” Seungmin trailed off, but she continued speaking.

“Is it true that you originally left Heejin for your ex-husband which caused her to spiral like she did?”

“What?!” Seungmin asked, too stunned by that ridiculous theory to even try denying it.

“Didn’t she relapse because you left her?”

“I left her because–” Seungmin cut himself off, not wanting to discuss his ex-girlfriend in front of his daughter in the middle of an amusement park food court, and with a complete stranger no less.

“If you don’t mind, I would like some privacy with my family,” Seungmin said, ostensibly calm.

“Don’t you think your daughter finds it confusing to see you with another man?” the woman asked.

“I’m not confused!” Jiyeon spoke up, suddenly. Seungmin put a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t talk to her, baby.”

“My dad told me that he loves Hyunjin very much! That’s not confusing at all!” Jiyeon said, her little face scrunched up in a determined expression that Seungmin had never seen on her before.

“Where’s your mother then?” the woman asked and that was it for Seungmin. He rose to his feet, towering over the woman who took a step back.

“It’s best if you left now. You don’t get to come here and ask my daughter personal questions. She’s six years old, for heaven’s sake!”

“I’ll get my story in the end!” she promised before storming off. Seungmin sat back down and ran a hand through his hair.

“Daddy? What’s a relapse?” Jiyeon asked him. Seungmin exchanged a glance with Hyunjin. His good mood had evaporated.

“I’ll explain it to you when we’re back home, alright?” he told her. “Just don’t take that woman seriously.”

“I won’t...”

“Should we get on the Ferris wheel now?” Hyunjin suggested, clearly wanting to lift the mood again. Jiyeon seemed a little hesitant but nodded anyway. She looked in the direction the woman had disappeared into before taking Seungmin’s outstretched hand.

Luckily, by the time they’d reached the Ferris wheel Jiyeon’s spirit seemed to have lifted again which also significantly helped Seungmin’s mood. He didn’t want her to get caught up in media drama. It was already bad enough that Heejin used to flaunt her like a Gucci bag. He didn’t want her to be a media circus attraction anymore.

The worker let them onto the Ferris wheel and Jiyeon immediately headed for the window.

“Are you excited?” Hyunjin asked her, crouching down next to her.

“Yes! I’m going to see the whole world from up there!”

Seungmin chuckled and crouched down on her other side. “Maybe you’ll see our house,” he told her, just as the wheel started turning. It was rather slow but that didn’t dim Jiyeon’s excitement in the slightest. Hyunjin and Seungmin sat down eventually; Hyunjin threw his arm around Seungmin’s shoulder as they watched Jiyeon excitedly point out one thing after the other.

“Can you see the house yet?” Hyunjin asked her fondly. Jiyeon got on her tip toes and craned her neck, trying to get a better view.

“No,” she eventually said, pouting, “everything is so small!”

“Aw, that’s alright. Just check out this view!” Seungmin encouraged her.

It was just starting to get dark and the city was starting to light up. It was always fascinating for Seungmin despite having seen that kind of sight in hundreds of different cities. Jiyeon stared outside in awe and Seungmin ended up just watching her, leaning against Hyunjin’s side. On their way down Jiyeon stood up on her tip toes again to keep being able to see as much of the city as she could.

“Can we go again?” Jiyeon questioned once they had reached solid ground again.

“Maybe another time, sweetheart. It’s getting late. You’ve got school tomorrow,” Seungmin told her, chuckling fondly at her immediate pout.

“Fine...” she caved, once again taking his and Hyunjin’s outstretched hands as they proceeded to make their way home.

“You still had fun, though right?” Hyunjin asked her.

“Lots! I can’t wait to tell all my friends about today!” she exclaimed. “Can we come back here next week?”

Seungmin chuckled at her excitement. “Maybe not next week but definitely soon, alright?”

Jiyeon nodded and skipped around between them for the rest of the way. The excitement got to her eventually, though, and she ended up falling asleep in the backseat on the way back home. Hyunjin picked her up when they got home and she stirred slightly, clinging to him.

They got her ready for bed, tucked her in and she was out like a light before either of them even had the chance to offer her a bedtime story. Hyunjin gently ruffled her hair and Seungmin pressed a kiss to her forehead before taking Hyunjin’s hand and leading him downstairs.

“God, I’m getting too old for amusement park days,” Seungmin said, stretching his limbs as he and Hyunjin got comfortable on the couch.

“You sound like you’re 50!” Hyunjin teased him.

“Sometimes I feel like I am,” Seungmin agreed, laughing. He pulled Hyunjin closer, wrapping his arms around him so he was almost completely on top of him. “You know, I thought I already loved everything about you but that was before I saw how good you are with Jiyeon. She absolutely adores you...”

Hyunjin smiled at his words and nuzzled his face into Seungmin’s shirt. “I adore her too. She’s got all of your good qualities...”

Seungmin chuckled. “She wants you to move in, you know?” Hyunjin lifted his head, looking at him. “Really. She was really bummed out when you weren’t here for dinner the other night. She wants you to be here all the time.”

Hyunjin moved so he was sitting on Seungmin’s thighs now, a light smile on his lips. “And what do you want?”

Seungmin gulped, feeling nervous. He reached into his pocket; he had slipped the ring from his coat into his sweatshirt when Hyunjin had carried Jiyeon upstairs earlier.

“I want you to marry me again...” he said, presenting the ring to Hyunjin whose eyes widened. He got off Seungmin’s lap, hands shakingly reaching forward to take the box in his hands, inspecting the ring. “Y-you do?”

“Last time it came out wrong. Like I wanted to marry you as some sort of technicality to keep the geezers at bay. I didn’t mean to say it under those circumstances, but I did want to marry you again. I still do. You have always been it for me, Hyunjin,” Seungmin told him. “My first love, my one true love. This time I promise I’ll do right by you. So will you...?”

For a few agonizing moments Hyunjin said nothing. Seungmin felt panicked; if he said no, would this mark the end of their relationship? Or would they just laugh it off and move on?

“What if it doesn’t work out?” Hyunjin finally asked, his voice small.

“I can’t guarantee out future... but I know that I made a huge mistake by ever walking away from you in the first place,” Seungmin told him.

Hyunjin smiled faintly, looking at the ring again. “I love you, Seung.”

“But...?”

“No buts,” Hyunjin said, “I love you and I think there’s a reason we found each other again.

“So, is that a yes?” Seungmin asked hopefully.

Hyunjin’s smile widened. “Yes, that’s a yes!” he answered, laughing as Seungmin pulled him closer to kiss him. Once they pulled apart again Seungmin took the ring out of its confinement and slipped it onto Hyunjin’s slender finger.

“I love you,” Seungmin told him, taking his hand and bringing it to his lips.

“I love you,” Hyunjin said. He smiled again and Seungmin thought he could see a few tears glistening in his eyes. He suddenly let out a wet chuckle. “How am I going to explain this to my parents,” he said.

“Oh god...” Seungmin hadn’t considered that part. “Mine are going to throw such a fit... but I don’t care,” he said, pulling Hyunjin close again. “Let’s tell them together?” Hyunjin nodded, connecting their lips.

~

“And we’re driving down this weekend to tell them,” Seungmin explained to his excited bandmates.

Felix wiped an imaginary tear from his face. “This is the best day of my life...” he said, causing Jisung to pout.

“I thought you said the day I confessed to you was the best day of your life,” he complained.

Seungmin raised his eyebrow at Jisung’s words. So Felix was the guy he had “fallen in love” with? He wouldn’t have expected that but looking at them he had to admit that they were kind of cute together. Felix wrapped his arms around Jisung’s neck and pecked his cheek.

“Sorry babe, you’re a close second,” Felix said, patting the bassist’s shoulder before letting go of him. Seungmin chuckled at Jisung’s mock sour expression.

“Anyway, Seung, we’re really happy for you,” Chris interrupted his younger bandmates’ playful bickering. He came up to Seungmin to pull him into a hug. Changbin followed his example and soon Seungmin found himself in the midst of yet another group hug.

“How did Jiyeon react?” Jisung questioned, once Seungmin had wriggled himself free again.

“She was ecstatic. The first thing she asked me after she found out about us was if I would marry him. When we told her, she was absolutely over the moon,” Seungmin recounted.

“When did you plan on getting married? You’re not gonna elope again, are you?” Chris asked.

“Not this time. Jiyeon is too excited so we have to do it right,” Seungmin said. “We’re not going to wait too long though. Probably early to mid-January. We’ve already wasted enough time not being married...”

“I’m really happy for you. You deserve this, Seung,” Chris said, his voice genuine. Seungmin smiled, touched by his bandmates’ support. “I’m hoping we can play at the wedding?”

“Are you kidding?! Absolutely!” Felix exclaimed.

“I’ll write a new song just for this occasion!” Chris announced.

Seungmin didn’t doubt for a second that with these guys he had his wedding pretty much covered.

~

“Why am I so nervous, we’ve done this before...” Hyunjin mumbled a few days later. They were parked outside Hyunjin’s old family home. Jiyeon who sat in the backseat, was looking out of the window. She hadn’t been to many small towns before and Seungmin’s and Hyunjin’s old neighborhood was nothing short of small and homey. It felt kind of good to be back after so long.

“Yes, but last time we told them afterwards,” Seungmin pointed out, causing Hyunjin to chuckle, albeit nervously. “It’s gonna be alright. I just hope they’ll accept me...”

Seungmin couldn’t deny that he had been a little worried as to how Hyunjin’s parents might react to seeing their ex-son-in-law on their doorstep after so many years.

“They literally adore you, Seung. Hell, I feel like sometimes they liked you better than me!” Hyunjin joked.

“Still, wasn’t that before... everything?” Seungmin questioned.

“Actually, not at all. They would sometimes casually tell me when they had seen you on TV. They’d tell me to think about reaching out, they cared about your well-being. Believe me, they love you, Seung.”

That calmed Seungmin down a little bit. He didn’t know what he would do if Hyunjin’s parents resented him.

“Can we go inside now?” Jiyeon questioned impatiently. They both chuckled and finally moved to get out of the car. Jiyeon skipped up the three little stairs that led up to the front door and rung the doorbell before either of them had a chance to collect themselves.

Hyunjin’s parents were expecting them. It would have been rude to show up unannounced. They already knew that Hyunjin was seeing Seungmin again but all of that didn’t stop Seungmin from being more nervous than he ever had been in his life.

The door opened and for the first time in over eight years, Seungmin was faced with Hyunjin’s mother. She smiled brightly at them.

“It’s good to see you kids, come on in,” she said, stepping aside. They all came in and Mrs. Hwang promptly pulled both her son and Seungmin into a tight hug before looking at Jiyeon. “And you must be Seungmin’s daughter Jiyeon. Look how pretty you are,” she said in that motherly tone Seungmin still remembered so fondly.

“Nice to meet you, Hyunjin’s mommy!” Jiyeon greeted her. Mrs. Hwang chuckled, endeared, and ruffled her hair.

“Let’s go to the living room, shall we? I made cookies!” Jiyeon made an excited noise as they all followed Mrs. Hwang to the living room. Seungmin looked around. The place was still the same as it used to be back when Seungmin had frequented it – right down to the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.

“Where’s dad?” Hyunjin questioned, looking around when he didn’t see his father in the living room.

“In the garage. He’ll be right out,” Mrs. Hwang answered, motioning for the three of them to take a seat before sitting down as well. “It’s really good to have you here, Seungmin. How have you been?” she asked.

“I’ve been good, Mrs. H. Busy but good,” Seungmin replied.

“It feels kind of surreal, to be quite honest. You’re so famous now and to have you here in our living room...” she trailed off.

Seungmin quickly waved off. “Please don’t look at me as a celebrity. This is home. I’m just Seungmin here,” he told her. The back door opened and Hyunjin’s father stepped inside the room.

“You’re here already!” he exclaimed when he saw them.

Hyunjin got up. “Hi dad, good to see you,” he said, pulling him into a hug before gesturing at Seungmin and Jiyeon. “You remember Seungmin?” he asked jokingly. Hyunjin’s dad chuckled and approached Seungmin who got up as well, suddenly nervous again.

“Sir...” he greeted him awkwardly.

“What’s with the formalities, come here,” Mr. Hwang said, beckoning Seungmin to give him a hug. He then proceeded to greet Jiyeon who was happily munching on her second cookie.

“Now, what’s the joyous occasion to which we owe this visit?” Mr. Hwang questioned, sitting down beside his wife. Hyunjin smiled and took Seungmin’s hand.

“Well, as you know, Seung and I got back together,” Hyunjin said.

“Finally, it certainly took you two long enough,” Mrs. Hwang commented, making Seungmin chuckle quietly.

“Anyway,” Hyunjin said, his smile widening, excitement evident on his features. “We have decided to get remarried!”

Silence followed in which Hyunjin’s parents shared a look as Seungmin and Hyunjin anxiously waited for a response.

“Seriously?” Hyunjin’s mother questioned after a while. “You’re–” she teared up, “you’re really...”

“Mom, don’t cry,” Hyunjin said, letting go of Seungmin in favor of walking over to take both her hands in his.

“I’m sorry, darling. It’s just... you’re really getting married again. It’s what I always wanted for you...” she sniffled.

“And Seungmin,” Mr. Hwang spoke up, “you’re sure this time, right? We’d love nothing more than to have you back in this family but... you need to know that Hyunjin was heartbroken the first time...”

Seungmin lowered his head. “I know and I don’t intend on ever leaving him again,” he said. “And if you’ll have me back, I’d be honored to call myself part of the family again.”

“Me too!” Jiyeon exclaimed happily. Hyunjin’s parents chuckled at the enthusiastic little girl.

“I hope you’re alright with a step-granddaughter too,” Hyunjin told his parents. His mother was still sniffling before going to embrace all three of them.

Lots of crying and hugging later they all had dinner together. Seungmin had almost forgotten how amazing Mr. Hwang’s cooking skills were.

“Do your parents know already?” Hyunjin’s mom asked, as she put some more food onto Jiyeon’s plate.

“Not yet. We don’t get along all too well these days. We were going to stop by the house tomorrow...” Seungmin replied, feeling queasy about having to face his parents soon. Especially after how his last encounter with his mother had gone. “It’s mainly because I want Jiyeon to see her grandparents...”

“Why don’t we invite them to brunch tomorrow? This way you’ll have some backup,” Mr. Hwang offered.

“Would you do that?”

“Of course, we do miss their company. They’ve distanced themselves from us a few years ago,” Mrs. Hwang said with a frown.

“They didn’t take the break-up and my career choice too well. We’ve been distant with each other, too...” Seungmin explained, once again thinking back to their fallout years ago. He missed having a good relationship with his parents but he couldn’t bear being judged for his life choices all the time, so cutting them loose had been the better option.

“That’s just awful... it must have been hard for you by yourself,” Mr. Hwang said.

“It was alright. We managed,” Seungmin said, sending a fond look in Jiyeon’s direction. “I’m just nervous to tell them about the engagement. My mother has already implied that she’s not too keen on us being back together when she found out,” he explained, making a face.

“Oh, I’m sure once she hears about the engagement she’ll be delighted,” Mrs. Hwang said optimistically.

~

Seungmin’s mother was not delighted.

“I knew you would end up being irresponsible again!” she exclaimed once they had broken the news mid-brunch when she had asked what the sudden occasion was.

“Come on now, isn’t it great that the kids have found their way back together?” Hyunjin’s father tried to reason. Mr. Kim only huffed in response, clearly not impressed. “I don’t understand your problem, honestly.”

“Really? Did you forget how it turned out the first time?” Seungmin’s father snapped, shooting Seungmin a distasteful look. Seungmin remembered the feeling when his parents had called him disgraceful instead of showing him support when he and Hyunjin had gotten divorced.

“It’s different now,” Hyunjin threw in. “We’ve had a decade to grow and work on ourselves. And our feelings haven’t changed over the years.”

“Yes, and we’re definitely going to go through with it. We simply figured that this time we would let you know beforehand,” Seungmin added, taking Hyunjin’s hand, both to underline his point and to ground himself.

“Think about your daughter, Seungmin,” his mother said, almost pleadingly. Seungmin looked at Jiyeon who had already finished eating and was playing on the living room floor with some of Hyunjin’s old toys that Mrs. Hwang had dug out for her. “If this fails, how is she going to deal with it? Hasn’t she been through enough?” Mrs. Kim, who had followed his gaze, asked.

“Don’t feign concern when your best answer is to take her to live with you!”

“What?” Hyunjin’s mother asked, confused. “You want to take her away from him?”

“We still think it’s for the best,” Seungmin’s father said, barely acknowledging Hyunjin’s mother. “The child should grow up in a normal environment. Otherwise she’ll only turn out to be a drug addict, like her good-for-nothing mother!”

“Well, it’s not going to happen. Heejin is out of her life for now. She’s staying with us and she will be fine. I’m not discussing this with you now. I’m telling you that you can either come to the wedding or stay away.”

Seungmin’s parents stared back at their son for a while, both seemingly still wanting to argue.

“Why don’t we finish brunch first?” Hyunjin’s mother intervened before the staring contest got too intense.

After a very tense and uncomfortable brunch Seungmin’s parents left the Hwang’s place without giving a definitive answer as to whether they would attend the wedding. Seungmin didn’t sweat it too much. At least now they knew about it. The ball was in their court.

Seungmin and Jiyeon were currently spending some time with Mrs. Hwang in the living room while Hyunjin and his father were out. Mrs. Hwang was eager to get started on the wedding planning.

“Why waste money on a wedding planner, am I right?” she reasoned. Seungmin chuckled. He knew that she had some experience in this area, having organized her sister’s as well as her own wedding.

“You’re absolutely right. We don’t want it to be too grand anyway. Just family and friends.”

“I want to bring the rings!” Jiyeon suddenly exclaimed. “I saw it on TV and I want to do that!”

Seungmin ruffled her hair fondly. “That’s a pretty big responsibility, princess. Are you sure you’re up for that?”

“Of course!” Jiyeon answered excitedly. “I can do it!”

“Alright then, Jiyeon is our ring bearer,” Seungmin said laughing.

“This is all so exciting,” Mrs. Hwang said, sniffling again. “Seriously, Seungmin. It’s so good to have you back in the family again.”

Seungmin smiled at her. He remembered that Hyunjin’s parents hadn’t been too happy about them getting married so young, much like his own parents. However, Mrs. Hwang had been the first one to warm up to the idea. She had regularly sent them cookies to college. Seungmin remembered one particularly cozy Christmas sweater she had hand-knit for him one year.

“It’s for good this time. Thanks for welcoming me back so warmly,” he said.

“Like I said before... it’s what I always wanted. For both of you,” she said, patting his hand before looking at Jiyeon. “Would you like some more juice, sweetheart?” she asked.

“Yes, please!” Jiyeon replied politely. Mrs. Hwang got up and went to fetch a new can of juice.

“Daddy? What did Hyunjin’s mom mean when she said you’re back in the family?” Jiyeon asked, looking up at him curiously.

Seungmin made a face. He wouldn’t have expected her to ask this question so out of the blue. “Well, you know, honey... remember how I told you that I’ve known Hyunjin for a very long time?” She nodded. “Well, before I met your mom and before you were born, I was married to Hyunjin for two years...”

She tilted her head. “You and Hyunjin were married?” Seungmin hummed in confirmation. “Then why aren’t you married anymore?”

“It’s all very complicated and I’ll explain it all to you when you’re older. But in short, I didn’t realize how great everything was,” he tried to explain.

“And now you do?”

Seungmin smiled just as Hyunjin and his father came through the front door, having picked up a few things for dinner from the store. Hyunjin’s mother had also returned with the juice, pouring a glad for Jiyeon.

“Now I do,” Seungmin answered, meeting Hyunjin’s eyes and earning himself a wink before he went to help his father put the groceries away.

~

In the afternoon, Seungmin and Hyunjin took a walk around the neighborhood. Since it was rather cold today there weren’t many people out on the streets. They strolled around their old hangout spots and even went by their old school for a second, reminiscing about old times.

Eventually, the two of them ended up at the run-down playground. Seungmin looped his arm through Hyunjin’s and rested his head on his shoulder, smiling fondly at the thought of one of the best memories of his life which had been created right here.

“It feels like a lifetime ago since you proposed to me here,” he said. “But at the same time, it’s a little bit like it was yesterday.”

Hyunjin laughed and pulled him closer. “God, I was so nervous that day. I thought there was no way you’d say yes...”

“I’m glad I did say yes. Despite everything... I really liked being married to you,” Seungmin said.

“So much you want to do it again?” Hyunjin asked playfully. Seungmin faced him and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, wrapping his arms around Hyunjin’s neck and just taking him in for a moment.

A few months ago, he never would have thought that he would have the chance to call Hyunjin his again. Never in a million years would he have guessed that he would end up having his own little family with the one man he had loved since he was a teenager.

He was done thinking about the what ifs. He had everything he wanted now, a beautiful daughter, a gorgeous fiancé, his singing career. Despite the detours, all of his dreams had come true.

“‘Till death do us part, my love.”