Work Text:
Two words. Two words, that was all it had to take. By uttering out just two words, it would've all been over. One could say it would've been better even. However, he wasn't was able to get himself to say those two words. He knew it wasn't actually up to him to say those words. If the man sitting next of him didn't feel the need to do it out of himself without being requested to do so, they wouldn't be able to feel happy in the long run.
So... there he sat, on stairs made out of concrete, looking at the small park in front of them, in silence.
x
The day started off by being called awake at 5 am with terrible news; he hadn't felt this disheartened in two years. The call contained the order for him to get to work as soon as possible because they had to arrest one of his colleagues. He and their captain turned out to be drug dealers using the confiscated drugs from their previous operations.
Their team captain had turned himself in the night before, but as Zhao Zi went home early that day, he didn't know about that until this morning. It broke his heart to know that the people that worked along with did something illegal. They were policemen just like him! He couldn't wrap his head around it. Their job is to keep the public safe, to arrest criminals, not to misuse their power and be criminals themselves! They had betrayed his trust.
And so it happened again... Again, he was left by the people he cared deeply about. His parents were the first ones that abandoned him, then his grandmother left him behind, and now his captain and a colleague, whom he deemed a friend, were the ones to do so.
Which meant that once his shift was over, he couldn't go out to eat with any of his other teammates because he had a lot to think about. And yet... The thought of going back to his house to do just that appeared to be an even worse option. So his last possibility was to go to a bar on his own, drink his problems away. Alcohol will make things better, right? Alcohol causes you to forget things, so it would help him to forget about all the betrayal, right? Even if it was only for a day, he wanted to disremember all of it. And that was how he got at this point.
x
Drunk out of his mind, he went up the concrete stairs only to stand still halfway through once he heard someone call for him.
"Shorty! What are you doing here?"
Profusely wiping his eyes, he answered, "I just didn't want to go home yet."
"Are you... Are you crying, Zhao Zi?" Tentative steps were taken towards him as if his mood would worsen once approached too quickly. Two hands were placed on his shoulders, only to be retracted again after the man took a whiff. "Woah, Shorty! You're drunk!"
"So what? I drink when I'm happy, and I drink when I'm sad," was the defensive answer the man got back.
"Why are you sad?"
"I'm not sad! I'm happy, see?" he answered while putting up an obviously fake smile, scrubbing away his tears that didn't want to stop falling. A few steps further onto the stairs were made before Zhao Zi continued, "Why wouldn't I be happy to find out that my captain and one of my colleagues, people I considered family by now, turned out to be criminals? This means that I won't get more attached to them. It also taught me to never trust anyone anymore, that everyone has two faces. That alone is enough for a celebration." He turned around at the end of his sentence to face the other man and let himself fall down on the stairs.
The man let out a troubled sigh at his explanation. He lowered himself to sit next to Zhao Zi, taking a few seconds before he wrapped his arm around the shorter guy. Zhao Zi's hair went between his fingers as he gave him a gentle push so the shorter guy would lay against his shoulder.
"Say, Jack. Do you have two faces too?"
A few comforting rubs against the other's arm happened, and Jack inhaled a deep breath before he started to talk. "Zhao Zi... I came here today to tell you that I'll be leaving the country soon, it's a dangerous mission. And I... I might not come back."
A miserable laugh escaped Zhao Zi as he pulled himself away from the redhead at those words. "Of course, you're going to leave me now too," he laughed yet there was no trace of happiness to be found in the sound, "you're no different from the rest of them."
Hesitation flashed over Jack's face, something Zhao Zi never saw before. "If you'd... want me to stay, just say it and I will," the redhead said carefully.
Zhao Zi's faced cracked open in a big grin. Not one of joy, but one of disbelieve. Two words. Two words, please stay, that was all it had to take. By uttering just two words, it would've all been over. Jack wouldn't leave if he communicated those words. Please stay, I want you to stay. However, he wasn't able to get himself to say those words. If Jack didn't feel the need to keep being by his side without being instructed to do so, he would regret it in the long run. They would always hold it against each other. They wouldn't be able to be happy together.
So... he looked into Jack's eyes in silence. The taller of the two seemed to comprehend that he wasn't going to say anything. A flash of confusion went over Jack's face and was that... pain? He pushed himself up to stand on the stairs again. He gave Zhao Zi one last glance before he walked away.
There he sat, on stairs made out of concrete, looking at the small park in front of him. His tears multiplied, sobs racked through his body. He buried his face into his arms that laid on top of his pulled up knees.
In broken whispers, he kept telling himself, "It's for the best, it's for the best, it's... it's for the be-best," not sure if whether meant what he kept repeating or if he only tried to convince himself of so.