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Tup survives the extraction of his chip. He doesn’t know how, because he had been sure that he’d be marching on the next time that he opened his eyes, sure that the nightmares and the fighting was finally over. He’d been sad, of course, that he was leaving his brothers behind - leaving Fives behind in particular, because they’d latched onto each other after he’d transferred into Torrent, and Tup didn’t want him to be alone again. He doesn’t want to be alone again.
He had been a Corrie before he joined the 501st; he and his batch had been young, too young really, but some of the best - good enough to catch the attention of the Chancellor, and be assigned to Commander Fox himself. They’d served on Coruscant with pride, because they had known that the Coruscant Guards were the best of the best and they’d been so kriffing proud of that - until they’d gotten to see what being a Coruscant Guard was actually like. It meant painful, cruel touches from people they couldn’t say no to, and lost time and missing memories that they couldn’t talk to anyone but Commander Fox about or risk being labelled as defective. He had lost his batchmates on Coruscant, and the being who had murdered them got away with nothing more than a slap on the wrist and a fine for damaging Republic property.
Tup could still remember the sadness in Commander Fox’s eyes when he offered to have Tup - alone and hurting and unable to sleep without the images of his squad’s deaths swimming to the surface - transferred to another garrison off of Coruscant. Tup could never thank his first Commander enough for seeing what Tup couldn’t say and getting him far away from the planet that had killed the rest of his batch. Commander Fox had always been good to them - not gentle, he couldn’t afford to be gentle with his men, but always good . He had tried to shield them from the worst treatments, often enduring them himself, and Tup would always be grateful, even if he was no longer one of Commander Fox’s boys.
He had stayed in contact with his former commander after transferring, updating him on his progress and the bonds he had been forging. He told him about the 501st and Torrent, about General Skywalker and Commander Tano. He told him about Dogma - fresh from a penal battalion for not following orders and an anxious mess of a brother who just wanted to do good - and Kix, Jesse, and Hardcase - three batchmates who had somehow managed to stay together as the War progressed, and how torn up Kix and Jesse had been after Hardcase’s death - and Captain Rex, who reminded Tup so much of Commander Fox; overworked and exhausted and just doing what he could to pull as many troopers through to the next engagement as he could.
He tells him about Fives. Fives who was fresh off the mission that had killed his last squadmate and was floundering. Fives who kept looking over his shoulder for someone who was no longer there, and who no longer had someone watching his back. He was one half of an ARC pair and didn’t know how to fill that gap once his partner was gone.
At first, Tup had only seen him from a distance - he was only a fresh-faced transfer off of the Core, after all, and Fives was an ARC - but that changed the moment Fives had found him during a bad night. Tup had folded himself into a dark corner of the armoury, a blaster gripped desperately in his shaking hands and pressed against his chin. He still saw his brothers’ broken bodies and the sickening grin on their killer’s face in his dreams, and the face would twist and distort into a sickenly sweet smile and heavy touches he couldn’t escape - he wanted to escape, he had to get away, but there was nowhere to run .
Tup had been seconds away from pulling the trigger when Fives had walked in, looking to end the nightmares, but Fives had torn the blaster from his hands and gathered him into a tight hug. He had let Tup sob and scream into his shoulder, and sat with him until he was calm enough to fall asleep. He had woken up hours later, well-rested for the first time in a long time, and still curled up in Fives’ arms. He hadn’t known it then, but Tup had saved Fives that day, just as much as Fives had saved him, and they had been nearly inseparable since then. They ate together, washed together, slept together, and they carefully kept each other from those darker thoughts. They recovered together after bad missions - missions like Umbara that haunted everyone in the 501st - and they made sure the other was never alone.
Tup had realized, the moment everything was slipping away from him, that he was leaving Fives alone, and it hurt . He would march on and Fives would be alone again. He could only hope that his ori’vod would find someone new to fill that hole in his life. He hoped that Fives would live on, even if Tup couldn’t be there with him.
He hadn’t had the chance to tell Fives this before he died.
But then he had woken up - had he woken up?
He’s tied down, his head shaved, and all he can hear is the beeping of the machines he had been hooked up to while he was unconscious. The light above his head is blinding, and everything is a harsh white that makes it hurt to open his eyes.
He’s alone.
He panics. Machines shriek as Tup fights desperately against the restraints and the wires, looking desperately for someone to help him as he tries to squirm away from the mask over his mouth. His breath comes out in harsh pants, his heart pounding in his ears as his skin crawls and his eyes roll. He’s alone. He doesn’t want to be alone -
- and then he’s asleep.
Tup drifts, disconnected from his body and almost unaware of the world around him. He’s barely aware of the beings moving around him, rarely feels their poking and prodding or hears their voices talking above him as he blinks in and out of consciousness. He drifts, and he dreams.
In his dreams, Tup can’t escape from his memories; he sees his squad’s bodies, and smells the overwhelming perfume. He feels their touches and hears their laughter, and everywhere he turns he sees his squadmates, riddled by the blaster holes that killed them and they stare at him, accusing him for abandoning them. He sees Dogma, pale-faced and standing over Krell’s body before being dragged away into the shadows by bleached hands - he must have been reconditioned, this far into the War it would have been too expensive to decommission him, and he’d already proven that a penal battalion wouldn’t ‘fix him’. He sees his fellow troopers dying in droves on Umbara and on every planet they’ve been on since. He sees the explosion that killed Hardcase, and it blends with the one that took Echo away from Fives. He hears Fives begging him not to go, not to abandon him, but Tup can’t fight back the gray wave that’s dragging him under-
- “Tup!” -
He feels warm hands on him, and he fights against them, begging to be let go. He won’t tell anyone, they wouldn’t believe him, but he doesn’t want to do this again -
- “Kriff, don’t touch him.”
“Tup, wake up! You’re safe!” -
“You know,” Fives says, hands brushing gently through Tup’s long hair as he braids it, “Echo always wanted to grow their hair out - would have done it too if they weren’t so anxious about breaking regs.” His fingers snag, and Fives’ hands are replaced by someone else’s, pulling harshly until Tup drops to his knees and -
Tup wakes up with a sob, water blurring his vision, and gentle hands catch his face. Callused thumbs brush away the hot tears that tumble down his cheeks. They trace the tattoo under his eye as another hand moves to gently toy with his shaved hair. A familiar face leans over him, head shaved, but distinctive tattoo and goatee still there.
“As bald as a shiny.” Fives says wetly - like a complete hypocrite - a small, shaky smile on his face, and Tup stares at him, desperate.
“Fives?”
His older brother chuckles, leaning forward to kiss his brow then tap their foreheads together. “Yeah, Tup’ika - it’s me.”
Tup’s eyes burn, and he swallows around the cotton in his throat, heart fluttering a hopeful tune. “You’re here?” He reaches forward, tangles his fingers in the gap of Fives’ armour and he pulls him close, afraid that if he lets go, he’ll be alone again.
“‘Course I am, kid.” Fives promises, voice choked. “You’re safe. I’m not leaving you ever again.”
Overwhelmed, Tup sobs and holds his brother tighter.