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Taehyung likes the weekends. Mostly because that’s when he’s not forced to get out of the house. Not that he has been going out much recently, but some of his classes are not skippable, unfortunately.
In the last few weeks, the boy has gotten into a dark path that seems endless and stronger than ever before. Yes, he has struggled before, but not the way he is right now. Never this bad.
Which is why he seems to be unable to get out of bed most of the days to do his simple tasks, much less to go to class or talk to his friends. And that makes him feel even worse about it all, because he knows they care, he knows they’re worried, but he can’t get around the situation and reach out to them.
He has been able to avoid crossing paths with them in the few times he went to the university, except for yesterday. When Taehyung was getting out of his lab class, hoodie zipped up, hands shoved inside his pockets, he bumps into a familiar chest. He goes to continue his walk, but a hand grabs his wrist and finally he lets his eyes look up to the face he knows like the palm of his hand.
When they lock gazes, Taehyung feels himself break even more. There’s worry inside Jungkook’s eyes, sadness flowing through them and it makes Taehyung feel sick. Makes him feel guilty.
“Taehyung” Jungkook breathes out. Taehyung closes his eyes. “Where have you been? Why are you ignoring us?” his voice is shaking. “Are you okay? Please, talk to me.” Taehyung closes his eyes. “Taehyung, please.” and his voice is filled with pain. Taehyung can’t take it.
“No.” the older boy exhales.
“What? Taehyung, you don’t have to tell me anything just, please, don’t distance yourself. Let us help you-“ Jungkook keeps on talking, his voice getting more and more distressed. Taehyung interrupts his speech.
“No!” his voice a bit louder than he planned. “Just. Please, let me go. I can’t do this right now.” and that’s how he frees his wrist from the younger’s grip and runs, tears already spilling involuntary from his eyes.
Sighing out loud, Taehyung rolls in bed, covering himself more with the bed’s sheets. He hates that he’s making his friends hurt, he hates himself for hurting Jungkook. The look in the younger boy’s eyes is haunting his mind and he’s unable to breathe properly.
Taehyung’s not sure how much time passes since he rolled into a sadness burrito, but suddenly he hears the door being unlocked and goes into panic mode. No one has access to his key and for a second he thinks he’s being mugged. However, his fears don’t last more than five seconds.
“Hyung.” Jungkook’s voice echoes through the quiet room, trembling and unsure. Taehyung hears the soft pad of his feet getting closer. Seconds later, the bed dips and Taehyung shrinks even more, staying silent the whole time. “Taehyungie, please. I’m here for you. I can just listen to you, I can talk about how i wore a glove for a sock today by accident, we can just sit here in silence, I can do anything you want. Just... Don’t shut me out.” his voice sounds so small, like he’s trying not to cry and Taehyung starts panicking again. His breathing gets quicker and sharper and Jungkook immediately notices, putting his hand on top of the ball that Taehyung is right now.
Silence, once again.
Then, Taehyung sniffs.
And later, he starts sobbing.
“Jungkook.” his voice comes out choked out. “If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.” he manages to say, almost inaudible, muffled by the sheets and his sobs.
However, Jungkook is quick to react, putting his arms around the small ball of blankets. Taehyung can feel his warm through the layers of fabric, but it’s not enough. Not enough to keep him grounded, so he sits up abruptly and rips the sheets away from his body, falling into Jungkook’s arms once again, free of any barriers besides their clothes.
“It’s okay, hyung. I’m here for you, I’ll always be. You’re not alone, I promise.” the younger boy whispers against his hair, one hand stroking Taehyung’s hair and the other wiping at his tears softly.
They stay like this for a while, and when Taehyung finally manages to calm down, he backs away enough to look into Jungkook’s eyes. There’s worry settled into his orbs, but there’s so much fondness and that’s what pushes Taehyung to speak up.
“I’m so sorry, Jungkookie.” he says, voice still weak. Jungkook tries to complain, but Taehyung holds his finger up to the other boy’s mouth. “I know you’re gonna tell me I don’t owe you an apology or an explanation, but you deserve that much.” he pauses, touches Jungkook’s face with the tip of his fingers. “I have been feeling really down recently. Like, really fucking bad to the point I couldn’t get out of bed to shower, to eat. I know I should’ve asked for help, but I felt so bothersome and like I was being dramatic I decided to just swallow it all and get through this. But I couldn’t and it got worse and...” he trails off, tears pooling in his eyes at the thought of what he felt, what he still feels. “I was stupid, hell, I am stupid, but I didn’t want you to see me like that. All of you, but specially you. You always told me I was your happy pill, the reason you kept strong and smiling and I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t... I couldn’t take that away from you. I couldn’t take your smile away from you. Because that’s the best thing I have in my life, you know? Your smile, your silly jokes, the way you laugh so loud you squeak. That’s what keeps me going, that’s why I manage to be the happy Taehyung all the time, because I want to make you happy.” he pants, catching his breath after the rambling he did. “I’m sorry Jungkook... I didn’t want you to worry. I didn’t want to see this look in your eyes, I didn’t want you to worry, to lose that sparkle in your eyes when you smile at me. And now I ruined it and I’m so sorry.” he finishes, lowering his head and letting his hand fall from the younger’s face.
There’s a beat of silence and then Jungkook’s hand comes up to the teary eyed boy to lift his chin. Jungkook smiles softly, the fondness still present in his eyes. It’s heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.
“Hyung.” his voice bears the same fondness as his eyes and Taehyung’s heart breaks a little more. “I said this and I’ll say it again. I’m here for you. Through everything, through thick and thin. I’m here when you’re happy, all smiles and hugs and eyes filled with joy that makes everyone feel at peace, but I’m also here when you’re not so cheerful too. I want to be by your side in all your stages and moods because, even when you don’t think so, you always shine so bright, Taehyungie. Your existence is so bright, so intense, so beautiful and pure.” he whispers, soft smile on his delicate lips. “You’re here for me when I’m down, you make me smile and feel so content. I’m here with you when you’re cheerful and joyful, when we just make each other laugh and laugh. But I’m also here for you when you’re the one that’s feeling down. I wanna be able to give back what you give to me, I wanna be able to comfort you and to make you feel less lonely, even if it’s just a bit, the way you do to me. So please, let me. Let me hold you and put together all your pieces, let me help you, hyung.” his voice now bearing desperation, but his eyes still soft, still kind, loving.
“Okay.” Taehyung breathes out, after a moment. “Hold me, Jungkookie. Hold my fragile heart, it’s yours, you know that? It’s not much and it’s broken, but it has always been yours.” the boy’s voice is weak, scared.
“And mine is yours. And you make it so happy. So let me make yours happy too. I won’t let you fall apart.”
And he doesn’t.