Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“THIS WAS A BAD IDEAAAAAAAA!” He heard somewhere above him. 

Damian snapped his head up to see a girl in a black and red mask falling towards him. She was falling fast. 

He yelped as he jumped out the way, and she hit the ground. 

He had expected a sickening crunch sound. 

There was no sickening crunch sound. 

“Ooh, that looks like it hurt.” A blond girl in black and yellow gently lowered herself down next to the red one. She flicked her wrist, and what looked like a spinning top zipped into her hand. 

“And this is why you were made to be bulletproof.” An orange girl sighed. “Because you two pull stupid stunts that would make mortals into street pancakes.”

Mortals? Made to be bulletproof? The fuck was she talking about?

“I am never doing that again.” The red girl groaned as she climbed to her feet. 

“So you say.” Orange girl snorted. “We both know you’ll be jumping off some other tower with no landing plan again in, like, less than two hours.”

“True.” Yellow girl snorted. “You always were ever the dramatic.”

“I’m sorry, but what the fuck just happened?” Damian asked. They all three blinked back at him in surprise. 

“You can see us?”

Chapter Text

“Does anyone else have Dance Monkey by Tones And I stuck in their head right now?” One of the hostages asked, looking around at her friends as she spoke. 

They stared at her blankly for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. 

They sure seemed amused for having their hands tied behind their backs and sitting next to a bomb. 

“I mean, it’s not even the whole song, it’s just that one line.” The girl grinned. She couldn’t have been more than… sixteen? Seventeen?

“Just like a monkey I’ve been dancing my whole life, and you just beg to see me dance just one more time .” She bopped her head around as she sang the one line. The laughter rose up again. 

“Oh my god, Marinette.” One of the other guys rolled his eyes as he grinned at her. 

“I mean really!” The girl switched to a faux serious face as she insisted. “What can you do? You try and retire form this dumb hero shit, and two days later this fuckass Riddler shows up and says ‘no fuck you no retiring for you’. I mean honestly .” She sighed, and Red Robin blinked. 

She must have no idea he was monitoring them on the computer. 

“Ok boss, what next?” A dark skinned girl with thick rimmed glasses asked. The girl who had been cracking jokes a second ago went serious for real this time. 

“Tikki, are they gone?” She asked someone he couldn’t see. She nodded a few seconds later, and stood up. 

“We transform in here. Max, you get us to the roof, make it look like we just showed up. Alya, you make a mirage pretending we’re still in here. Kim, I want you, QB, and Adrien on the civilians. Juleka, you get the rest of the Quantic Kids-” Quantic kids? She knew the Quantic Kids? Who on earth was this girl? “-on a group call, let them know the situation. Rose, you stand guard over Alya while she works to build out covers. Myléne, you get in the vents, hunt Riddler, and tell me where he goes. Alix, you monitor us from a distance. Max, once we’re up there, you de-transform, then confer with Juleka about the kids, see if they need to arrive anywhere by portal. I’ll take care of that dipshit Batman in case he tries to get in our way. Everyone got it?” This kid was worried about Batman getting in her way? Who the hell did she think she was?

Everything was getting more and more confusing by the minute. 

The class chorused ‘yes ma’am.’ And they all stood to their feet. 

Brightly colored lights flashed, and he had to look away from the screen for a second. 

When he looked back, the room was filled with masked heroes. 

The Parisian branch of the Quantic Kids. 

“Holy shitballs, Batman.” He mumbled. 

“What?” Bruce said on the other end of the line. 

“Uh, incoming. Incoming, and backup. Incoming backup. And lot’s of it. And I think more coming, by the sounds of it.”

“What?” The youngest Robin asked. 

“Red, who the hell is coming?” Dick asked in a warning tone. 

“Um, the Quantic kids.” He said nervously. 

“Why the hell do the kids want with this?”

“The hostages.”

“Wait…” Dick figured it out first. 

“Red Robin? What is the meaning of that?” Damian asked impatiently. 

“The hostages are Quantic Kids. Ladybug, Chat Noir, Rena Rouge, all the Parisian kids. They’re all in there. And they’re pissed.”

Chapter Text

They were sitting at Batburger, the place they normally went for ‘secret’ meetings. 

It was the one place they could all go and not be prone to fistfighting each other. 

It was going as normal. 

Actually, it was going badly, but badly was the normal at this point. 

He was bored of all the arguing, so he took a look around. 

You know, just in case. 

He noticed three couples on dates, two families out for lunch, and… a girl dressed in all black and wearing sunglasses hiding behind a stack of boxes. 

She was mumbling something. 

She was wearing a hoodie that her black hair was spilling out of. Her bangs were pushed to one side. 

He tried to lip read, and noticed she was speaking in french. 

Then he noticed someone behind him quietly responded. In french. 

He got up to get a straw, and tried to discreetly check out who was behind him. 

A boy in a green zip-up hoodie and matching glasses to the girl. 

He had bluetooth headphones in, and was talking into them. 

He decided to eavesdrop on them. Out of sheer boredom. 

‘Oh no he did not.’ The girl said. 

‘What? What did he do?’

‘He fucking tried to tuck her hair behind her ear. Oh my god she giggled.’

So they were spying on one of the dates. 

After a while, he figured out it was one of a jock and a blond girl. 

They looked like something out of a cliché teen romance movie. 

Blech. 

“Wait a second.” The blond girl stood up, and stared at the girl dressed in black. 

“Is that-” The jock boy never finished his sentence. 

“DUPAIN-CHENG I WILL END YOU!” The blond ran at the black-haired girl, who leaped up onto the table. 

“WE’VE BEEN COMPROMISED, LAHIFFE!” Dupain-Cheng yelled, and the boy behind him bolted for the door. 

She jumped from one table to another, avoiding the grip of the blond by doing a handspring over her head. 

She slipped out the door at record speeds, and he couldn;t help but laugh. 

It was so stupid, but also so funny. 

“Did anyone else just see that?” Dick looked around in confusion. 

“I did.” Damian snickered. "It was almost impressive."

Chapter Text

Of course he was in some sort of hold up while out getting groceries. 

What else would his day consist of?

Peace and quiet?

He sighed as a man held a gun to the head of a girl who seemed completely unbothered. 

“Can I pay for this, or are you going to continue to scare the poor cashier out of doing his damn job?” She snarked in a Parisian accent. 

He sighed internally. 

She was going to get herself killed. 

And his father would probably get upset with him about it. 

It wasn't like he could actually do something about her attitude. 

“What did you say to me?” The man with the assault rifle growled. 

She huffed and slammed her milk down on the counter. 

“I called you a pussy ass bitch.” She grabbed the barrel of the gun, and held onto it. 

This… didn’t seem normal. 

There was something off about everything about this woman, now that he looked closely. 

Her eyes were a little too bright. 

Her hair a little too blue. 

Her skin a little too pale. 

“You will regret this.” He snarled as he pulled the trigger. 

She didn’t even blink. 

Her nose wiggled a little as the bullet bonked her in the face. She sniffed, but was otherwise unbothered. 

He looked to the floor.

“I…” The man froze. 

“You? You what?” The woman taunted him further. 

The man looked down at the ground. 

“That’s my bullet.” He said stupidly. 

“No it isn’t.” the girl deflected. 

“Yes, it…”

“Oh, this?” She reached down, and picked up the crunched bullet. “This is my, uh, lucky rock?” She tried. “Yeah, it’s my lucky rock. No bullet here. No sir.”

“But I pulled the trigger.” 

“Did you?” She challenged him. 

Another woman pushed past him, and stood next to the freay girl. 

“Seriously? We’ve lived her all of one week and you get outed in a fucking grocery store.” She sighed. “Welp, Fu is not gonna like this.”

“Fu?” Damian couldn’t help but ask.

They froze, and remembered they weren’t alone. 

“I’m… my soul is fused to a god.” Freaky girl shrugged. 

“Seriously?” Blond woman glared at her. 

“What? I clearly just proved I’m not any less bulletproof out of the suit, so what’s the point of a bullshit secret identity anymore? It’s not like there’s anyone left for someone to hold as ransom or anything, so don’t even start on me with that argument-” She grabbed her groceries, and started to walk out of the store. “And none of that ‘oh but love’ bullshit, we both know that doesn’t work out, so-” He never heard the rest of her sentence as she walked out the store and the door closed.

“What the fuck.” Someone whispered. He agreed. 

Chapter Text

Tim frowned at the link Dick sent him.

It was sent along with, 

‘THAT GIRL YOU LIKE IS IN THIS’ and then ‘QHAT THE FUCK TIMBO’

He scrunched up his eyebrows, and opened the link. 

It was to a youtube video. 

The title was called ‘First Ever Video!!!’ And the user was ConfessionsOfAnExSuperHero.

He started the video, and the screen was filled with the face of Chloé Bourgeois. One of the most recognizable faces in Paris. 

But not the girl he liked. 

He liked Marinette. 

He wondered what on earth Dick was talking about. 

He played the video. 

“Good morning! I’m sure most of you know who I am, but if you don’t, I’m Chloé Bourgeois, my daddy is the Mayor of Paris, and my mother the Style Queen.” The camera was sitting on a glass table, and she was fully feeling herself as she looked confidently into the camera. 

“Chloé, why the fuck am I here?” A male voice asked from the other side of the camera. 

“Yeah, what the fuck is up?” Marinette’s voice. 

“Hey! This will be a wholesome fucking video!” Chloé snapped. 

Marinette came onto the screen, looking at the camera confusedly. 

“Wait, are you doing some interview thing again? Like that assignment in middle school when you-” Chloé all but punched Marinette in the face as she tried to keep her mouth shut. Marinette looked extremely confused. 

“Seriously Chlo?” Adrien took a seat next to her, and checked himself out in the little screen that was next to the camera. 

“Yeah, I’m interviewing you guys.” She waved a little set of cards. “I have really good questions! I promise! Not like that Ladyblogger.” She huffed, and Marinette finally decided to take a seat. 

The camera jumpcut, and Kagami Tsurugi was sitting with them, looking unamused. 

Chloé did not seem to give a fuck. 

“Ok! First question is for Multimouse.”

“Shoot.” Marinette nodded. 

“When you split yourself into multiple versions of you, how hard is it to see out of all your different versions all at once? Is it like, split vision, or can you switch between you, or what?” Marinette listened carefully, and then nodded. 

“Yeah, ok, so it’s like, imagine you’re watching multiple different tv shows on different screens, you can hear everything at once, you just choose to focus on one screen at a time, or focus on none of them and rely on peripheral vision.”

Tim was extremely confused. 

First of all, this video was from two years ago.

Second, she had never said anything about Multimouse, whatever that was. 

Third, why would she post about it online?????

That was extremely dumb. 

He watched the rest of the interview, Chloé answering questions as Queen Bee, Kagami as Ryuko, and Adrien as Aspik. 

They compared notes on their transformations and physical changes, answering the same questions from different points of views. 

“Ok, how did Ladybug choose you?” was the final question. 

“I was the only one who was present and not currently dead.” Adrien shrugged. “That’s it, that’s the whole reason.”

“Damn.” Marinette snorted, looking guilty as hell about something. “I, uh,just so happened to witness the crime I was needed for firsthand, and had a better sense of who I was fighting because of that.” She shrugged. 

“I was needed to fight because of my sword expertise. There was a sword akuma, I was the best option.”

“Well, I was chosen because Ladybug needed someone not affected by authority and I was, embarrassingly, the best choice.” Marinette snorted into her drink, and had to set it down. 

The video ended, and he set his phone down. 

Marinette had been a hero.

A superhero named Multimouse. 

She had powers. 

There were more videos. 

She was in the thumbnails of a few of them. 

‘Superman Can’t Throw A Damn Punch To Save His Life’

‘Robin Stole My Fucking Cat If You See This Please Give Him Back’

‘Update: Superboy Saw My Video And Brought Me My Cat Back’

‘Marinette Won’t Stop Doing Backflips Off Of Everything Send Help’

These were just a few of the ones she was in. 

He wondered how many more she was in. 

So he watched all of them. 

The whole entire series. 

It was… interesting. 

He learned she thought she had on reason to worry about an identity because Ladybug cycled through so many partners that many of them ended up getting exposed over time, and no one was dumb anrough to fuck with Ladybug and her helpers. 

He also learned she stopped talking about Multimouse after moving to Gotham just in case.

Chloé stopped aggressively talking about being Queen Bee, but not entirely. She was still very proud of it. 

And by the looks of it, she could fight well. 

Really well. 

He had never seen Marinette in a fight before, but… she kicked ass on the fake dummy man. 

He had… more than a few calls to make. 

Chapter Text

“DAMI’S GOT A CRUSH ON THE NEWWWW KIDDDD!” Jon crowed as he invited himself into Wayne Manor. 

This earned him a few weird looks from said boy's family. 

“I’m sorry, he’s got a what now?”

“Shut up. All of you.” Damian glowered at everyone. 

“NO!” Jon responded cheerfully. “So basically, the window in the classroom was open, and a bee flew in, and everyone was scared of it, and then this girl stands up, in the back of the classroom, and-”

“Shut up!” 

“And she grabs a rubber band out of her binder, and then pulls it back, and aims it at the bee, and she snaps it! Right out of the air! Boom, one shot, and the bee’s dead!”

“Oh?” Jason raised an eyebrow. They had all been playing some sort of card game before the two came in. 

“And then everyone started clapping, and she took a bow, and then Dami-”

“SHUT UP!”

“D said she was super cool and he was so flustered, and it was hilarious!”

“Oh no way.” Barbara smirked slightly. 

“And then she got all blushy and then he got all nervous and it was like a scene right out of a movie and then she sat back down and it was awesome.”

“You don’t say.” Dick smiled into his hand of cards. 

“And her name is Marinette and she’s from Paris and she has a super-cute accent and she’s adorable.”

“If you think she’s so cute, why don’t you ask her out?” Damian scowled. 

“Are you kidding? You would kick my ass.”

Chapter Text

“No.”

Tim was sitting on a bench, waiting for a bus to come, in New York City. 

The girl next to him was on the phone, and talking in french. 

‘Oh come on, it won’t be that dangerous. ’ Whoever the girl was talking to insisted. 

She pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“Fine. I’m in.” She glared at nothing through her bangs, her long dark hair in a messy low ponytail.

‘Yay!’ She quietly hissed the next line,

“But if this mission gets me killed, you owe me 200 bucks after my past self brings me back, you got it?”

That caught his attention.

Too bad, though, he couldn’t spy on her, because her attention was snapped upwards. 

“That the plane?”

‘You can hear the sounds, can’t you?’

“Fuck you.”

‘No.’

“I can’t believe I’m gonna miss my bus because you’re dumb ass can’t save one fucking person from a dude in an airport. When am I gonna stop being your fall plan? It’s not fucking fair.” She snapped as she grabbed a bag, and walked off. 

What the hell just happened? 

Chapter Text

“What on earth are you doing?” Nightwing asked a girl in dark sunglasses as she kicked her feet back and forth over the side of the Gotham Public Library. 

“Playing a game.” She said, quietly. 

“What… what game?” She didn’t seem to be doing anything in particular.

“Hide and seek.” She smiled. 

“What?” That threw him off. She wasn’t even hiding. Just sitting. 

“It’s very fun.” She nodded. 

“No, I know what hide and seek is, I just… you’re hiding in plain sight. It’s kinda very obvious right now.” She shook her head. “No?”

“My name, the suit name, is Lucky Star. I have the power to create portals, and my seeker is Uncanny Valley from United Heroez. I used to be in Paris, which is where she is looking for me. When she finds out I’m not inParis she will search the whole world for me. It is a very fun game. Her record is three minutes when I portal-jumped from Shanghai to Panama.”

“Oh?” Nightwing was… a little impressed. “She can do that?”

“We consider it to be like search and rescue training, for when she gets a system update. I run off somewhere, she uses her search and rescue protocol to try and find me.”

“Oh, that’s… pretty cool, actually.”

“Isn’t it?” She smiled. About thirty seconds later, sure enough, Uncanny Valley appeared in the distance. 

“Ha! I found you!” She cheered. Lucky Star gave her a high-five, and opened another portal to go back home. 

“Bye, Mr. Man In Blue!” Lucky Star waved. “Maybe I’ll see you again some time!”

“Bye, Kid.” Nightwing chuckled as Lucky Star disappeared. He shook his head, and went on about his weird, weird, night. 

Chapter Text

“Alright.” Tim gave her an evil smile as he held a credit card just out of her reach. “This is it. The final test.”

“Test? I’ve been being tested?” The newest partially-adopted kid stared at him quizzically. 

“I mean, not really, but the phrase kinda didn’t work any other way.” Dick pointed out. 

“Oh.” Marinette nodded. Technically, when Sabine had gotten married, and Tom adopted her, that really waived any right that Bruce would have had, had he known she even existed. However, he did not. And she was willing to get to know him anyway. 

“So what is it?”

“Think of the absolute worst thing you could buy. Something so weird, so concerning, that it makes him have to ask you what the hell you were thinking and makes you give a reasoning.”

“Is that difficult?” Marinette frowned. She had known her new brothers only about a week, and she loved them already, but sometimes…

“You have no idea.” Damian snorted over the top of the book he was reading. “I've bought some pretty weird shit with one of those, he still has no idea. Or doesn’t bother to ask.” Damian was about three years older than her, the closest to her in age. 

Everyone had quietly expressed concern to how he would react to her when they thought she wouldn’t be able to hear them. But she could. 

They thought he would try and kill her so he could remain Bruce’s only biological child, or hate her and try to make her run away, or at the very least scare the fuck out of her. 

So far, none of them had been right. Because as soon as she met him, she challenged him to a sword fight. She won. He then proceeded to hug her for nearly two hours straight, and cried about ‘oh finally, some good fucking brains in this family’ and she still didn’t know what to make of that. 

“The worst thing, huh?” She snatched the card away from Tim, who gave her an offended look. 

“Or most confusing.” Duke supplied. 

“Or most concerning.” Jason reminded them. 

She tapped the edge of the card to her chin a few times before she grinned. 

“Oh no.” Damian recognized that grin. 

The evil grin. 

The evil planning grin. 

“I have an idea, but you might not… get it.”

“Get it?”

“Ok, so, you know the teenage superhero team Quantic Kids, right? And how their base of operations is in Paris, but they technically have members all over the world?” All five of ehr brothers hesitated, wondering where this was going. 

“Yeah?” Dick said, confused. 

“And you know how, like, for identity purposes they have the outed members handle all the legal work?”

“Yeah?”

“And I’m sure you are aware that Chloé Bourgeois does most of all of that, right?”

“Right?” Damian asked, warily. 

“And I know Chloé Bourgeois.” She crinkled her nose in giddiness. 

“You do know Chloé Bourgeois.” For being a bunch of smart people, they really had no idea where she was going with this. 

“I’m gonna buy the QK headqauters.” She grinned, and pulled out her phone. 

“I’m not really sure that that’s totally a good idea bec-” Tim was cut off. 

“What do you want, Cheng?” Chloé snapped. 

“Oh holy shit.” Duke whispered. Tim was staring at her phone in slight horror. 

“Chloé, did you get those pineapples I sent you last week?” It was code. Code for ‘Don’t talk about hero stuff there are others present.’ 

“Yes, I got them.”

“Cool. Also, you’re on speakerphone, and my brothers are here. All of them. But on a completely unrelated note, I need to buy something off of you.”

“It better not be my new shoes, Cheng, I paid good money for those.”

“I need the building.” There was silence on the other end. 

“Speakerphone, you say?” Chloé said hesitantly. “How fast can we get off speakerphone?”

“Not possible, they won’t believe me. Anyway, let's just say, I, uh, recently came into some funds and I need that building.”

“What the hell.”

“We’re changing some things up a bit.”

“We? This is in no way a we situation, here, Cheng, I really thought you-”

“Just do it.” She put her boss-mode voice on. Chloé sighed. 

“Yeah, Princess Peach, I got it. I’ll check with some… people.” She hated that nickname, but honestly secretly kinda liked it. 

“See to it that you do. How late can I expect to be waiting?”

“Give me info on your supposed sudden funds, and I’ll see what I can do about today.”

“Lovely. It’s gonna be under my fathers name, and you can’t let people know it was me. This is… think of it like a prank gone wrong. Actually, you know what, while we’re at it, I think I’ll buy the whole Quantic Co.”

“The whole freaking thing? And do you mean Tom? You know we can’t bring the- They can’t bring, in, um, people like, hi-”

“Not Tom, you idiot. I meant my bio father.”

“Oh. Send me the… the thing and I’ll get on it.”

“Cool.” 

“You are one strange-ass person Mars Bar.”

“I know.” She grinned as she hung up, looking at the four shocked and one mildly interested faces around her. 

“What?” She asked sweetly. 

“You’re seriously going to buy the Quantic Kids HQ.” Dick stated flatly.

“Is anyone else concerned about the whole idea of that awful super-kid being so willing to just up and hand the title over?” Damian frowned. 

“Nope, I’m concerned about that too.” Duke frowned in thought.

“Why would she give in so easily? She didn’t even fight you a little bit on that.” Tim agreed. 

“She’s suspicious as fuck.” Jason nodded. 

“I did say everything legal was handled by former heroes, didn’t I?” She smirked. “Congratulations, you’re talking to the old Multi-Mouse. Chloé knows me because I’m a freaking Quantic Kid.” She crossed her arms and sat back. 

“Wait-” Loud yelling ensued. 

She slipped away from the rest of them, the black card in her hand. 

“Ok, they're gone.” She said. 

“Boss what the hell.” 

“I know, I know, but it’s… it’s all part of a game, Queen. I promise, nothing serious could possibly come out of this.” She insisted. “We can change it back next week, if something super awful happens.”

“Fine.” Chloé sighed. “I probably look like a dickhead to those guys, just giving the hq away like that.”

“It's fine. You know I trust you, right?”

“Yeah, I know. Now, give me our numbers, we need to get this set straight.”

“Cool. Oh, and Queen?”

“Yeah?”

“The name will be under Bruce Wayne.” There was silence on the other end.

“You're kidding, right? You’re not faking Bruce Wayne buying out QKHQ , right?”

“I’m not kidding. That’s my prank.”

“You are evil, Dupain-Cheng. Truly evil.” 

“I know.” She gave her the credit card number, and told her to charge a reasonable amount. 

“Like, not so little it looks suspicious, but really not a whole lot, either.”

“Cool.” Chloé completed the transaction. “We are good to go. The papers should be emailed to you for you to sign.”

“I’m on it right now.” She printed the papers out, and ran into Tim’s room

“Little Bean?”

“Quick, I need you to forge Dad’s signature. Before anyone notices.” She handed him the papers. He grinned, and snatched up a pen. “Ooh, ooh, do it in pink.” She grinned. He grabbed a pink pen, instead. 

“Let me know if you need it again, sometime.”

“Oh I will hold you to that.”

“Cool.” 

“Hell yeah.” 

She scanned the papers on her printer, and sent them back to Chloé.

‘Wayne Enterprises officially own the Quantic Co.’

‘Lit.’

“What’s this I hear about you being a member of the Quantic Kids?” Her father found her in her room later that night. 

She froze. 

“I thought you knew?” She tried. 

“No, Marinette.” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I did not know.”

“Oh. Sorry.” She shrugged. “I, um, I thought everyone knew. After the, uh, Kwamibuster incident, and I kinda got very exposed and it was pretty bad, and then Ladybug had to take the power back, but it was too late, and now I just kinda train with them, but not like full-time, so I might be able to… get, like, a new suit a new name, you know.” She shrugged. “Well, you don’t know, but still.” She wiggled uncomfortably. 

“Let me get this straight.” Bruce frowned, and took a seat in her new room. “You used to be a different hero.”

“Yes.” A half-truth.  

“And you’re planning on being a different one in the future?”

“Yes.” A full lie. 

“And you did not mention this before why?”

“The rules?” She shrugged. He stared at her blankly for a second. 

“Huh.” He mumbled. 

Just once Brue would like to have a normal kid. 

Not a McFucking Quantic Kid, a normal kid. With a normal life. A normal daytime routine, and no funny nighttime business. 

That night, she got nervous. 

What if her prank didn’t work out?

What if it went totally haywire?

What if her family found out she wasn’t as retired as she claimed to be? And then got pissed? And hated her?

What if-

She stopped. 

That was dumb. 

She was spiraling again, and that was never a good thing. 

If anything, they would probably be impressed, or something. At worst case scenario, they would be offended that she lied. But it wasn’t that big of a lie… was it?

She huffed, and the fourteen year old climbed out of bed. 

She grabbed her stuffed cat plushie, and marched down the hall. 

She threw open Damians door, and climbed into his bed. 

“You ok, Feisty?” He asked, and she hugged his warm arm next to her cat stuffy. 

“No.” She mumbled. 

“Why? Feel guilty about your little prank?”

“Maybe.” He used his free hand to mess up her hair. 

“You’re silly. It’s a lovely prank, I’m sure the heroes will be so confused.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. What if they don’t find it funny? What if they hate me and think I’m dumb and then they-”

“That’s stupid. Stop panicking.” She stopped talking. “Plus, I heard from Jon that Kid Mime and Mercury have a bit of a soft spot for you when they deal with trouble at the school.” He poked her in the nose, and she giggled as she relaxed slightly. They weren’t who she was worried about, she was worried that word would get back to Batman and he would kick her out of his city and then her new family would hate her forever. 

Argh, this sucked. 

It was funny as hell, and would make a great prank, but it sucked at the same time. 

The next morning, she walked down into the dining room to a round of applause. 

“Congratulations, Marinette.” Tim grinned. “You have officially confused the fuck out of Bruce to a level none of us could ever achieve.”

“I’m fully impressed, Feisty.” Damian nodded in his weird approval. “He was worrying like an idiot this morning. I am very pleased with what you have done.”

“Oh.” She yawned, and sat down at the table, rubbing her eyes. “Nice.” 

She didn’t fully understand what she had done, but she was also tired and hungry and stressed and hungry and tired. 

“Can I have some waffles? I feel like shit.”

“Sure, kiddo.” Jason handed her a plate of waffles. Two minutes later, her phone rang. 

Mercury. 

“I don’t have time for this.” She sighed, and declined the call. 

Then Gavroche. 

Then Alya. 

Then Nino. 

Then she just shut her phone off completely. 

“Who on earth keeps calling you?” Duke narrowed his eyes as he tried to read her notifications upside from the other side of the table before she shut it off. What she didn’t know was that he had the ability to manipulate light and could still read them long after the screen was off. 

“I think I panicked a lot more than just Bruce last night.” She confessed. “I think I scared the whole team.” They all  looked at her blankly. 

“You have… their phone numbers?”

“Yeah?” She had told them about being multi-mouse, they were fully aware of her one-time great act. “You know I work with them, right?”

“Yes, but you have their phone numbers?” Damian reiterated. 

Ah. 

That was the flaw in her plan. 

A part-timer probably wouldn’t have their numbers. 

“I get in trouble a lot.” She blurted out, then shoved an awful amount of waffles in her mouth. 

“You what?” 

“Don’t worry about it.” She said through her mouthful. 

“Oh god.” Tim mumbled. “She’s concerned us all now.” She choked, but managed to swallow the whole bite. “I think this is a record number of people panicking over one silly prank.”

“Thank you?” She phrased it as a question. 

“Pixie is the holy god of us all.” Jason deadpanned. “The holy motherfucking god .”

Chapter Text

“Uh, hey, Babe?” Tim yelled at his wife who had just come back from what was supposed to be a small shopping trip.

“Yeah?” Marinette yelled back. 

“Why did you buy a bunch of kids pool toys?” He yelled, looking through her shopping bags from some store she hadn’t said she was going to. 

“Because we have a pool?”

“Yeah, but we don’t… we don’t have any kids.” He reminded her. 

“I know!” She popped her head into the doorway of the living room, where she had dropped all of the bags so she could sort through them. 

“So then why on earth did you buy a big toy boat?”

“Duh.” She shrugged and rolled her eyes. “So I can stick chicken nuggets in it, and they won’t sink.” He stared at her for a few seconds before realizing where she was going with that. 

“Oh my god you’re a genius.”

“I know, right?”

Chapter Text

“I think I just had the scariest moment of my life.” Jason was on speakerphone, not really caring if the other people in the room listened in on his conversation.

“Damn, the scariest?”

“I’ve seen some scary as hell things, but absolutely none of them are compared to the shit I just went through.” It seemed to be a young woman on the line, but Jason kept everyone saved as weird names in his phone so it was hard telling who it really was.

“Really? What happened?” He asked, not seemingly really all that invested in this conversation. Tim was pretty interested, though. 

“I think I just got hella judged by Wonder Woman.” Everyone in the room froze, Dick and Bruce included.

“Wait, what?” Jason was suddenly interested in what she had to say. 

“Yeah, ok, so I’m walking down the street, right, and fucking Wonder Woman zooms past me, stops dead in her tracks, backs up, and stares at me. Directly at me, in a crowd, no less. And I mean she had this really intimidating stare on her, I literally almost cried right then and there. But then she stands there, on the ground now, she’s standing right in front of me, and you know how short I am, she leans over, like, I have to lean backwards because of how terrified I am of this woman’s glare, and she’s super close out my face, and then… hold on, my hands are shaking, I’m still crying.” She paused for a second, and a few shuffling sounds came from the phone. 

“You good?” Jason asked her. 

“Yeah, no, ok, so, I’m standing there, Wonder Woman herself is literally glaring at me, I’m freaking out, and then she just suddenly goes… ‘how on earth are you not dead?’ and I swear to god I almost collapsed out of shere fear of this woman, and she stops glaring and just looks so confused and my dumb brain thought it would be a good idea to respond with ‘I’m running on nothing but pure spite’ and she says to me, ‘that is not healthy. You need to stop.’ And then she gives me this knowing look like she knows about… you-know-what, because I needed to have multiple of them on me for this-” At the phrase ‘you-know-what’ Jason panicked, and snatched his phone up off the counter, taking it off speakerphone before squeezing it between his shoulder and hs ear to continue with his sandwich. 

It was hard to hear what she was saying then, and then he went and made it even quieter as the girl rambled about getting scared by Wonder Woman.

He walked out with both the sandwich and the phone, and none of them ever knew who she was or why she was panic calling Jason. 

Not up until a few months later, anyway, when Diana brought up her concerns for the young girls safety as well as being immensely impressed with her ability to withstand so much power. 

Chapter Text

“Hey, guess what?” Tim grinned at everyone as they all stood around the kitchen counters. 

“What?” Jason asked sarcastically. “What could possibly be interesting coming from you?” Tim ignored him.

“You know how we all had that iCloud thing where whenever one of you takes a picture, it pops up on every other device?” Everyone got his attention after that. “I think Damian forgot that he never disabled it because he was all like ‘I never take pictures anyway’ but…” 

“Oh no way.” 

“Did he send or receive? Is it nudes? Please tell me it's nudes.”

“No, Jason, it’s not.” Tim rolled his eyes. “It’s not even him.  It’s something he saved. A video.” Tim flipped his laptop screen around, and pressed play. 

The first thing they saw was the face of the girl who seemed to be holding the camera. She had black hair held up in a red scrunchie, and looking angst-y. 

‘I’m not typing this out because I literally do not have the mental capacity to right now. So I’m filming instead because I’m too lazy to use talk to text and correct it. But anyway, ok, so, we were in class, right? And fucking Lila, that stupid bitch, she’s all like “Ok but what does Rena Rouge have that Volpina didn’t” and Alya, was literaly Rena Rouge, just strisaght up fucking goes “Eyebrows” and then Lila starts crying and going all “How dare you I was the one who influenced Ladybug to choose you in the first place” Because, you know, the weird Miracle curse or whatever it was that happened that forced her to expose herself, I told you about that, anyway, then Alya rolled her eyes so hard I swear I thought she was gonna get a headache, and then says “Bitch the Bug hates you, when will you get that through your thick skull” and Lila started crying even harder, saying she was going to tell Ladybug on her like some sort of toddler or something, and Alya goes “Oh, let me think about it. Uh, you still a bitch” And then deadass in less than a second she switched personalities entirely and starts telling Alya she’s gonna do a bunch of awful things if she ever dares try to cross her, and you know how Alya is, so naturally she grabbed a pair of scissors and held them up to Lila’s throat and I tried to intervene by saying the rat bitch wasn’t worth getting a detention and probably a suspension over, except the teacher heard me use those exact words right as she walked in, and that’s basically the story of how all three of us are stuck in an in-school suspension together.’

There was a silence after the video ended. 

“So he was sent this video, and he saved it? Why would he save it?” Dick tried to confirm. 

“No idea.”

“So he clearly knows this person.”

“Yup.”

“And all the other people mentioned in it.”

“Yup.”

“Damn. What the heck has he been hiding from us?”

Chapter Text

“That bitch has the audacity to lie about knowing my family.” Marinette laughed hollowly as she wiped blood coming out of her nose off her face. “Such an unbelievable lie. You can tell by the way she acts it’s a lie.”

“The way she acts?” Tim had a bruise growing above his temple, but it was still fresh, barely visible. “How does she act?” Marinette snorted, pushing leftover debris out of her way to get to the theatre door. 

“People love to tell me I look like my mother. But the truth is, the only thing I got from her was her fiery anger. Deep down, I've always been my father's kid.” She wiped her hand on her pants, and left bloody fingerprints on the round door handle as she swung it open. “And if she knew even the slightest bit about what kind if an attitude I got from my father, she wouldn’t dare fuck with me.” Tim nodded slowly. 

She had learned his name a total of five minutes prior, but she had a feeling she was going to know it for a very long time. 

“Is that the last dramatic thing you’re gonna say before yelling and taking care of the issue, or do I get to learn about what kind of a person you are?” He asked her sarcastically. She chuckled slightly, a little amused by this kid. ‘This kid’ being the same age as her, probably.

“My mom is very slow to anger, and would prefer to stay gentle. But when she gets mad, she gets mad. But my father will not hesitate to throw down if he thinks I’m in trouble. Always been right there, always right behind me, ready to jump in at any second. I'm the same way, always listening, always keeping an eye out for my friends all the time. My mother's rage I may have, but her patience I do not. You know what that makes me?”

“What?” He played along. 

“Someone who will knock your lights out at a moment's notice with no regrets and no patience. But more importantly, someone who will go to danm near stupid legths to knock a bitch down a peg or two.”

“You know, Marinette? I think I believe you.” He laughed as he used his thumb to wipe at blood coming out of his split lip. “I’ve only known you about ten minutes, and I could like you already.”

“I think I could like you too, Tim.” She jumped up and started climbing a fire escape. “If you can keep up.” She smirked, and headed to the rooftops. 

“Oh, you are so on.” He chased her up the side of the building, not realizing what they were doing until they already got there. “So, Miss Ladybug, do you have a plan?” He asked, seemingly more curious to her preparedness than her plan itself.

“Never leave home without twenty.” She grinned, catching a glimpse of her reflection in a window of the next building over. The stain of blood remained, but other than that, her ‘feisty and frazzled’ look was pretty hot, if she did say so herself. "Alright, I'll tell you what I've got so far, but you'll need this." She took off her thumb ring, and handed it to him. He frowned, accepting, but confused. "Figured you would want to stick with a red bird theme. Sorry it had to be rooster, though."

Chapter Text

Jason had never been in her Paris house before. 

Marinette walked into the medium-sized apartment, taking only a few steps inside before freezing. 

She gazed around the room, calculating everything. 

Jason frowned. She didn’t look robbed, everything seemed to be in place, so what on earth was she looking for?

He watched as Marinette slowly walked over to a small end-table lamp, and picked it up. 

She inspected it, and set it back down. 

She pulled out her cellphone, and made a call. 

“Hey, Kagami?” She asked, innocently. “Where did the sword on my wall go?” There was a moment of silence, and then the girl on the other end of the phone, apparently named Kagami, finally answered. He didn’t know exactly what she said, but she paused a lot in her sentences for whatever she was saying. 

“Uh-huh.” Marinette seemed to be completely neutral in tone, but he knew better. “And the gun under my counter?” She said something else as she explained away the disappearances. “And I noticed my painting has been moved, do you think if I reach behind it, there will or will not be identical sparkly knives? No? Want to tell me why?” Another pause. “Oh, interesting. And lastly but most certainly not leastly, want to tell me why you replaced my lamp?” The longest pause so far. 

“How can you even tell the lamp was replaced?” He mumbled out loud to no one. She winked at him, saying she would tell him later. 

“You know, that’s actually a pretty interesting story. Maybe I won’t kick your ass over this, then.” She hung up without saying goodbye, and shook her head. 

He took a look around as she messed with some other things in the house. 

“Hey, Marinette?”

“Yeah?”

“Why the hell is your apartment a literal arsenal in disguise?”

“That’s a funny story, actually.”

“Huh. People seem to be telling a lot of those today.”

Chapter Text

“Punch me.” Marinette stared hard at Alya.

“I’m sorry, what?” Alya frowned. They were walking on their way to the neighbors house in the new neighborhood they were in for a stakeout. 

“I said punch me.” Marinette repeated. 

“No, I know what you said, I was wondering why you wanted me to punch you?” Alya frowned, and Marinette pulled her out of view of the security tapes somewhat aggressively. “Hey!”

“We can’t just go up to the house acting like ‘we’re new to the neighborhood and are introducing ourselves’ kind of people, we’re not like that and it has potential future faws. We need a better plan.”

“That wasn’t the plan?” Ala pointed out. “I thought we were just going up and knock and say ‘hey we’re here and we’re wonierng why the fuck you’re on our case’ was it not?”

“No!” Marinette looked at her like she was stupid. “They could just pretend to not be home, or shut the door on us! We need a better plan! So punch me!” Alya just made a weird face at her, and she huffed. “Fine. I’ll start this myself.” She took a swing at her best friend, who instinctively ducked, and swung back.

“Hey! What the hell?!”

“I told you to start it, you didn’t!” Marinette pointed out, and they got into a real fistfight. 

“Ok, ok, that should be good.” Marinette nodded after a few hits. 

“Oh no!” Alya snapped. “You don’t get to just start this and stop it when you please!” Alya took another hit, and Marinette wasn’t ready. She took it full force to the face. “Ok, now I’m good. What next?”

Conner tried to hide a smile as he stared at his phone. 

“Something funny?” Dick frowned at him. 

“On here?” 

“Yeah.” 

“No, but out there is hilarious.” He pointed to the wall that led outside. “Also, we’re about to have company.”

“Wait, what?” Dick said a second before a loud crash sounded from the front door. 

‘What do I do?!’ He mouthed at Conner. 

“Let them in.” Conner responded quietly. “Trust me, this will be hilarious.”

Dick scowled, but dropped it a second before opening the door to see a bruised and bloodied girl on the other side of it. 

She was choking and breathing heavily, leaning on the door for support. 

“Sorry to bother you, but can you help me?” She coughed. “My friend and I, we were attacked, and I really…” She ran out of breath. 

He stared. 

Really? This was supposed to be funny ? He failed to see the humor in this situation. 

“Yeah, kid, come on in, where’s your friend? Is she ok?” he looked past her to see a wincing girl who had a large bruise starting to form on her cheek. She waved slightly, still wincing. 

“Thanks.” The girl choked out, and he helped her inside. The friend followed awkwardly. 

Dick shut the door behind them, and helped the girl into the kitchen where he grabbed a set of band aids to help her with her face, and get the other girl an ice-pak. 

“Did you get a good look at who attacked you?” Maybe our mystery criminal?

“Not really, I mean, I was more worried about not letting my friend get hurt, I was so nervous. I didn’t pause long enough to try and get a good look at him before he got away.” She held still grimacing as he used a warm paper towel to wipe smeared blood off her face. 

He swore under his breath. 

“Well, you don’t seem to need stitches, and you look cleared for a concussion, so I don’t see a need to rush to the hospital, but… you probably shouldn’t immediately go home in this condition, and I can call this in to the police to look out for a guy bruised and bloodied running around.” She nodded slowly, and her friend silently watched them. 

She seemed to be looking around the house, taking everything in. Looking for something, even. 

He tried not to let it show on his face as he slowly made the connection. 

Conner said this was going to be funny. The friend was looking around as if interested, looking for something but seemingly anything in particular. But definitely something . Probably something incriminating. 

He took another look at the girl on his counter, and it hit him full force this time. 

He had seen her in the local precinct a few days ago, as Nightwing. She was a cop. This girl was her partner. 

Dick pretended to know nothing, though, and proceeded to look her over again. 

“Hey, you got a name?” He asked her. She raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, Marinette.” She nodded slowly. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng, I moved here a couple days ago. Five, actually. My friend and I are still getting, ah, settled in.”

“Picked a rough neighborhood, huh? Bet you’re regretting your decision, now, hm?” She blanked at him, and then shrugged. 

“The lady who sold us the house never said anything about crime, I didn’t really ask. Figured it looked safe enough, but it’s not like I have kids or anything.” She chuckled softly. 

“I'd be more scared if I had a real kid, and not a kid partner.” The friend finally spoke. 

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow at the word. 

“Alya Césaire.” She stuck her non-ice-pack hand out, and he shook it. “And that idiot dragged me halfway around the world for a damn project.” She nodded her head at Marinette. 

“Hey. You followed me, I did no such thing.” Mairnette stuck her tongue out at Alya, who rolled her eyes, and then looked down at the floor. 

Marinette was wearing a dark red shirt under a black leather jacket, and her hair was up in two french braids incorporated with red ribbons in them. Her pants were black skinny jeans and her shoes were rose-embroidered Doc Martens. 

Her friend was wearing an orange flannel under an acid-washed jean jacket and over a black crop top. 

“Ok, Marinette and Alya, I’m…” Hecontemplated telling them his real name. 

He figured he better, if they really were cops they could search him up easily. And he hadn’t had time to prepare a fake identity online. “Dick Grayson.” Marinette nodded, and Alya stood up from where she was leaning. 

“Hey, hate to intrude, but do you have a bathroom?” She asked, cringing slightly. 

Marinette stared at the guy in front of her. 

He was handsome, and tragically so. 

She had seen cop movies before. Bitchy girl in a black jacket sees a hot guy, falls in love with him, they don’t work out because she has a tendency to sacrifice herself (or jump into dinosaur mouths *cough cough*) and leaves them both broken hearted because she thinks she can’t risk hurting him, boo hoo, neither of them can move on despite trying, and they live miserably forever trying to date other people and make everyone else upset around them because of their stubborness. 

But that wasn’t the only thing she had noticed about this guy. 

This was so obviously Nightwing it was painful. 

She guessed that made the guy in the other room one of the Superboy’s. 

“So, I take it you haven’t lived here long either?” She noticed him flinch slightly. 

“Yeah, pretty new around here.” He opened a medicine cabinet, and she cringed. Had this been a bad idea? It probably had. “Could you tell easily?”

“You have no pictures up on the walls, minimal things around, your counters are spectacularly clean. Normally, one could leave that up to cleanliness, but you don’t have a single knickknack lying around. I hit my leg on the cupboard shelf, and it echoed pretty loudly, meaning there’s nothing in it. Your table has not a single thing on it, despite that being most people’s favorite place to dump things besides the counter. Another thing is your furniture. You seem to have basically no furniture, and for what you have it’s not a lot. Whether you have the world's weirdest OCD, new in town, or you’re extremely boring.” She stared at him, and he was trying not to look impressed or surprised. “What I’m finding odd here is, for someone who has a whole lot of nothing, and moving in… where are all the boxes?” 

“Why do you care where my boxes are?” He almost laughed. 

“If you moved into a whole new house without a single box lying around, you didn’t bring them from wherever you were before. That leads me to believe you’re either running from something, or…” She jumped off the counter, and pulled out her phone. No messages. “You don’t plan on staying here long.” 

“Huh.” He looked somewhere between amused and annoyed. 

“No one leaves everything behind when they run away. Maybe you lived in a furnished place and had to leave everything the building owned behind, but you didn’t buy a single mug at your time wherever you're from?” She challenged him further. 

“Damn, she’s got you.” A guy appeared next to her, and she shrugged. 

Long gone was the panting and choking and sputtering kid, here was someone who looked proud of what they’d done.

Normally, he was cool, calm, and collected through an entire interrogation. 

But this girl was somehow pushing his buttons. Getting under his skin. 

This never happened. 

He never made mistakes. 

Ever . 

“What I’m concerned with is how a cop managed to get in a fight with someone and not notice what he looked like.” He shot back, without thinking. 

Marinette got a shit-eating grin on her face, and he realized what he did. 

I’m chronically lucky.” She answered him. He scowled, and Coner started laughing. 

“Lets go.” Alya appeared. “I got what you needed, and I don’t plan on doing that ever again.”

“Hold the fukcing phone-” Dick was cut off as Marinette calmly marched towards the door. “You can’t leave, I know literally nothing about you, and-”

“Oh darling Oiseau Nuit .” Marinette smirked at him as she poked her head out from the other side of his door. 

He froze. 

Oiseau Nuit. Bird of the Night. Night-bird. Nightwing. 

“I already told you everything about me.” She cooed, and disappeared. 

Dick stared at the shut door, blankly. 

Everything? What the hell did that mean?

“Conner, what the hell?”

“Yeah, there was never a fight.” Dick looked over at the grinning kryptonian. “They hit each other for a cover story. It was great to listen to, made for wonderful entertainment as the tiny asian one kept yelling at the other girl she needed to hit her harder to make it believable and Alya kept feeling guilty about hitting her friend who was screaming at her. So funny.” Dick stared at him blankly. 

“You knew. The whole time, you knew.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I wanted to know why they were looking into us. Turns out, they’re working the same case we are, and were scoping you out for potential collaboration.”

“You asshole.”

“You should probably call the number she slipped into your pocket, she has more information on our suspects background than you do.”

Chapter Text

No one knew anything about “Little Bug”. 

Sure, they knew her favorite macarons were lavender and honey, and her favorite color was green, and she had black hair and blue eyes and she wore mostly black all the time. 

And the older Wayne’s knew she lived with them. And she knew their secret.

But they didn’t know her name. Or her birthday. Or where she came from. 

All they knew about her was that one day Damian dragged the slightly older girl into the manor one day after being gone for nearly a month, both of them covered in blood, and one looking significantly more pissed than the other. 

“This is my Bug.” Was all he gave for an answer. “And she’s staying.” They let it happen, even if they did try to find out more about her. 

Their efforts were futile. 

Damian made damn sure to keep as much as he could about her a secret. All they knew about her was that she spoke perfect french and went by the nickname Little Bug. 

Until one day she stressfully let something slip. 

Robin was standing before a large screen with a laser pointer and a layout of the LexCorp building, explaining a mission in french. 

She was squinting at the screen, and Damian continued to ramble to his audience of two. Superboy, and Little Bug. Little Bug wore nothing but black spandex, no outfit theme of any kind on herself. 

“Are we all clear?” Robin finished. 

Superboy nodded in agreement, but Little Bug was still confused. 

“Bug? What’s wrong? What part didn’t you understand?” he asked, in French, of course. 

But she responded, surprisingly in perfect english, 

“Some days I really wish you left me under that pile of rubble where you found me.”

Everyone was taken aback. 

Had she spoken english this whole time? And understood everything they had been saying?

And rubble? He had found her under a pile of rubble? Why has she been under rubble? Had there been a fight? Who won? 

What?

Robin sighed. 

“I was not going to let that man kill you, Little Bug, he would have destroyed the universe with your power.” He snapped. “Now, are you coming with us, or do I have to rework my entire plan?” She nodded slowly. 

“I guess I’m in.”

Everyone stared silently as they watched the three teens make their way out of the Batcave. 

What a sight that was. 

“What the fuck?!” Jason was the first to say anything. 

Chapter Text

“My one goal in life is to be so weird to people I meet only once that they consider it an ‘encounter’ and that’s the truth tea sis.” A random girl in a black zip-up hoodie said rather loudly, her voice on edge as she sat down at the booth behind them in Bat Burger. 

“I’ll consider this an encounter if you do.” Dick yelled over Damian’s head, who scowled at his brother. 

“Litty!” The girl yelled back at them, and gave him a thumbs up. “If you vacuum jello up, it makes weird noises!” She yelled as one last thing before lowering her head and ehr voice again to talk to her friends. 

A girl in an orange flannel and thick glasses looked like she was about to muder the girl in the hoodie. 

“Marinette, what the hell?” She mumbled, but the guy she was sitting next to giggled and high-fived her. 

Dick never saw her again. 

Until the next day, when she dropped a large stack of papers in the hallway of the Wayne Tower building. 

She looked straight up the ceiling, let out a high-pitched shriek for a few seconds, and then picked up her papers before continuing her day as normal. 

That was a real encounter. 

But he then tried to honor her wish of trying to never see her again after the encounter. 

It didn’t last very long after she befriended Tim. 

Every time he saw her, he tried to not interact. 

She wanted to be a cryptid, he found it funny that she thought she was a cryptid. 

So he tried to leave her alone. 

But it got more and more difficult as she kept doing random shit in random places, each one weirder than the last. 

But whatever. 

If fate wanted this, then fuck it, fate wanted this. 

It honestly became a game of how far he would go to leave her alone. 

Marinette knew what he was doing. 

She knew he saw her. 

She knew everything. All of it. 

And she was running out of ideas to try and freak him out. 

It was becoming one of her worst self-issued challenges yet.

Chapter Text

“THIS IS GONNA BE SO COOL!” Marinette yelled as she sat perched on the end of a grocery cart in the Walmart parking lot. 

Tim could only watch his stupid friends in resinged agony. 

“Ten bucks says I can launch Gar farther than Aeon can launch you!” Kori yelled back at her, and he sighed. Deeply. 

This could only end in broken bones. 

“You are so on!” Aeon yelled back. 

Ever since the Titans joined as another sub-group of the United: New Generation, it had been… chaotic, to say the least. 

Sure, having like 20 new super awesome friends was pretty cool, but…

Well, things like this happened more frequently. The new kids gave them a chance to act like real teenagers, which was relieving, but acting like real teengers when you have superpowers was a bit concerning. 

“Please don’t die.” He offered weakly. 

“Wait, hold on!” Jessaca ignored him. “Gar and Adrien in one cart, Marinette and me in the other!” She hopped into a grocery cart behind Marinette, who let her wrap her arms around her waist. 

“I’m not holding your waist, man.” Adrien said as he climbed into a cart behind Gar. 

“Fine by me.” Gar responded, and Kori readied herself as Aeon lined them up at the end of the aisle.

“Alright, the rules!” Alya stood between them like a flagger girl. “Both of you push at the same time. At the red pickup truck, you both let go, and whoever’s cart travels further wins. If both of them reach the end of the parking lot, whoever gets there first wins! Got it?”

“Yes ma’am!”

“I have got it!”

“Alright!” Alya raised both of her hands. 

Tim wondered if he should even watch. 

“Three!”

Maybe he should call Alfred and warn him there might be an emergency…

“Two!”

He wondered if Bruce would be proud of this, or not. 

“One!” 

Nino was standing next to him, looking equally nervous. 

“Go!” She threw both of her hands down, and the alien and the robot zoomed off at ridiculous speeds. 

He heard Marinette scream, and the two girls fell backwards, having not prepared for the force. 

The two girls pushing the carts let go at almost the same time. 

Gar and Adrien reached the end of the aisle first, but Marinette and Jess ended up winning because the boys clipped a barrier and ended up flying through the air onto a patch of grass on the other side of the road. 

Gar was to disoriented by the speed to change into a bird and both boys hit the grass, hard. 

Adrien yelped, his ankle bending in a way that it shouldn’t, and Tim hit call on his phone for Alfred. 

Chapter Text

He forgot her phone was dead. 

Marinette’s phone was dead, and she was in the bathroom. 

And Tim, being the idiot that he is, got distracted from waiting for her, and walked off to go look for an HDMI cord he needed for his laptop. 

He was trying to decide what length he needed it in when a voice over the speaker said, 

“Tim Wayne your child is at register ten.” 

He frowned, and wondered what the hell was going on. 

So he discreetly made his way over to the checkout, and saw his very sad-looking girlfriend sitting on a bench and pouting. 

“Oh my god I forgot about you.” He blurted out, and immediately regretted his words. “Phone! I meant your phone! I forgot it was dead! I forgot that your phone was dead! I didn’t forget about you!” He rushed to cover up his mistake.

She giggled a little bit, still looking a bit upset, and he hugged her to make up for it. 

“I know.” She offered, but continued moping. 

“Can I buy you a chocolate bar to make up for it?” He tried. 

“And a hot chocolate?” She asked, and he nodded. 

“Sorry. Yes. You can have whatever you want, I’m so sorry for forgetting you.” 

“You better be.” She grabbed two chocolate bars, and he paid for them and everything else they got before heading to a nearby coffee shop for that hot chocolate.

Chapter Text

“I don't claim to know what you’re thinking, but whatever it is, it’s probably wrong.” A random girl was chilling on Duke’s fire escape. “Oh shit, you have house guests.” She grumbled, and that was when Tim noticed she was near tears. “Fuck. I’ll, uh, go, and then I guess, um-” She flickered her gaze between Bruce, Tim, Duke, Dick, and Jason rapidly. 

“I saw the news articles.” Duke cut her off, calmly, and she slouched at that. 

“You know.” She mumbled, deflated. 

“I may have people around, but my goodness Marinette, please come in.” Tim raised an eyebrow at this, as the tiny girl practically collapsed into the room, and turned to shut the window behind her. “How are you?”

“You are probably the only person who can ask me that without getting punched in the face right now.” She hissed, and pushed past Jason, a little more aggressively than necessary, and ripped a mug off of a shelf to fill with water. “Other than Nino, honestly.” 

“Oh?” The people she didn’t know judged her silently, but they could also tell she was too distressed to give a flying fuck what they did. 

“No one’s asking me how I am because they care!” She yelled, and gently set the mug down before aggressively crossing her arms and glaring daggers at the floor. “No one cares about me for real! They’re only asking me how I am in hopes that I have a mental breakdown and spill my feelings dramatically so they have something juicy to say when my name eventually gets brought up in all this mess!” The evenness of her voice slipped, but slowly. Carefully. “No one wants to really know if I’m ok, and I’m not! I’m not ok! I’m a damn mess over here, but it’s not like I can tell anyone that, not even my own mother, without seeing what I said or did in the damn magazines!” She eventually just started crying. “But Kim, Alix and Max are off in way-northern Canada for some science experiment, Alya is seriously stressed out with her work right now, and Nino’s… busy.” She looked down to the floor sadly. 

“Let me guess, Nino is gonna be a major part of the wedding, and despite him being your best friend, you’re conflicted between helping him out and staying way the hell away from his mess?”

“Yes.” She breathed. “I’ve known Nino since we were little kids, I want to be able to talk to my damn best friend, but I can’t do shit without…” Tim watched as she waved her hand about, aggressively, before looking him right in the eyes. Her stare was steely, and almost chilly. “Hi. I’m Marinette, by the way. Local Parisian disaster.” She said in a snappy tone that didn’t make him feel like she was snapping at him directly, just snapping in general. 

“I’m Tim.” He offered, stupidly and unmoving. 

“Hi Tim, I hope your day is going better than mine.” She sighed, and picked the mug back up again, dumping the water in it into a machine that Duke had on his kitchen counter. 

“What’s this about?” Dick finally asked. 

“Open any fucking social media app, I bet you’ll find out in less than five minutes.” She grumbled, and then snarkily added, “Supermodel Adrien Agreste proposes to olympic fencer and long-time girlfriend, Tsurugi Heir.” 

Mairnette scowled as she messed with the setting before slamming her fist down on the counter after getting it to finally work. 

“And so you flew halfway around the world to cry on my kitchen floor?” 

“Yes.” Marinette said, a little bit louder than necessary. “You are the only person I know right now who gains nothing out of me crying on your floor. And I’m sorry about all the nothing you get out of all this, but to be quite frank, I don’t give a fuck.”

“No, no, it’s fine, but you might want to at least consider calling first next time.” She got a guilty look, and the tears started to form all over again. 

“Sorry.” She whispered. 

“Marinette, right?” Jason sat down on the floor across from her. 

“Yeah.” She nodded slowly. 

“Hi, Marinette, I’m Jason. That asshole behind me is Dick, and the old old man is Bruce.” He informed her. She blinked, not really caring. “And since that asshole-” he was referring to Duke “- didn’t bother telling us about you, do you mind filling us in? Like, I don’t know, how you met? And why he seems to know who all of your friends are?” The girl on the floor looked at the only person she knew as if asking permission to tell the story. 

“Um… stuff.” She offered. 

“Reasons.” Duke added. 

“Things.”

“Y’know.” 

There was a slight silence as the other four looked between the two. 

“She knows, doesn’t she?” Was the first thing Bruce has said since she had shown up. 

“About that freaking thing he does with his eyes? Yeah, I know about that.” She stood up, washed her plate in the sink, and opened the fridge for some grapes. 

She resumed sitting in her spot on the floor, and tossed a grape in the air to catch in her mouth. “But no one said I flew here on a man-made vehicle, either, so it’s not like I can say anything about weirdness.” She said before tossing up another grape. 

This one Duke snatched out of the air before she could catch it. Marinete shrieked at him, and he laughed at her before eating the grape. 

“They’re my grapes, Mars Bar, I can eat however many of them I want.” He rolled his eyes. She threw up another grape, and this one was stolen by Jason. 

“So what you’re saying is that you’re weird too?”

“In a way.” She shrugged, and gave up on tossing them up in favor of eating them normally. 

They wondered what to make of that answer. 

“Like Superman level weird, or like…” Tim trailed off. 

“You realised I’m gonna be vague as hell, and not answer you for literally every question, right?” She raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Yeah, true.” 

“Can I go back to my mental breakdown now?”

“Yeah, what’s up?” Duke took a seat on the floor somewhat close to her, and she slammed her head backwards into the cabinet door. 

“I don’t want to talk about feelings. Feelings suck.”

“I know they suck, but you’re the kind of person who shoves shit deep down until you internally explode. And with you, a lot more than just feelings can quite literally explode.” That was… an odd thing to say. 

“Fine.” Marinette scowled. “You wanna know how I feel? Because I’m feeling like I really wish you hadn’t pulled me out of that damn building and just fucking let me die so that I don’t have to live through this right now.” She snarked, and then shoved another grape in her mouth.

Ok, so she was in a building that… exploded? Burned? Got destroyed? 

What?

“Technically you were already very dead when I  found you, you can blame being alive on CaraBug fusion.” Duke pointed out. She shook her head slowly. 

“Knew I should have gone and complained at Nino’s.” She mumbled. 

“But then again, if you hadn’t been found…” Marinete got a guilty look on her face as he reminded her of whatever happened further.

“No one would have made it out.” She finished for him. 

“Bingo.” Duke snapped. 

“Fuck you for being right.” 

“My sincerest apologies.” He messed with her bangs, and she bit her lip trying not to smile. “Now, other feelings. Tell me about them before you go and murder your partner and get away with it.” She snorted. 

“I’m just… really pissed he told her. He wasn’t supposed to tell her. And now, I swear, it’s like… I don’t know how I feel about Kagami knowing, honestly. Like, we have our own issues, between the two of us, and that asshole took it upon himself to go fuck around and make them worse.”

“Wait, he told her without asking you first?”

“Ok, you’re not one to judge.” Mairnette pointed out sarcastically. 

“Hey. Fuck you for being right.” She giggled at that. 

“No, yeah! He just straight-up was like ‘oh yeah by the way I told my girlfriend who we are so that she doesn’t get suspicious of me’ and it’s like… dude, what the fuck? Not to be that one paranoid bitch, but like she’s been basically forcing herself on him ever since we were kids, and he’s just stupidly let it happen, and now he’s gone and fukcking gotten engaged to her without even really-” She stopped. “There are so many things wrong with that sentence, I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Maybe with alcohol?” Jason tried. 

“No.” Duke gave him a warning look.

“With wine at least?” Marinette asked hopefully. 

“This is America, and you’re French.” Duke pointed out. “I don’t have anything, and if I did, you wouldn’t like it.”

“You need to go grocery shopping anyway.” She looked sideways up at him as she leaned over to bump into him, basically trying to ask to make a late-night grocery run. 

“The last thing you need right now-” He switched his gaze over to Jason, “Either of you need right now is wine.” Marinette sighed dramatically in protest. “OH MY GOD, FINE!” He slammed a palm into the floor, and all three of them stood up. “I guess we’re headed out, then, B, if you want to get whatever it is you wanted and go back… wherever it is you were going. Tim, you coming too?” 

He contemplated it. 

This mystery girl seemed to be a hero of sorts, and Duke knew exactly who she was, and he could get some interesting information out of her. 

But that might seem… assholish. 

“Sure, why not.” He grabbed his jacket, and followed them out the door. 

“Ok, so, clearly you and someone had, like, a thing going on, right? That’s why you’re so upset?” Jason asked from the back seat up to the front seat. 

“Yeah, so, basically, the story is kinda weird if you don’t know literally every side of it, but basically, Adrien was kinda like my middle school crush that just… never went away. Ever. I’ve literally been obsessing over this guy for ten years.”

“Oh damn.” 

“Yeah, and then we’ve kinda had this thing going for us ever since we met, like we've been best friends ever since that first day, we’re stupidly close. Problem is, he’s only ever seen me as a friend because I didn’t want to ruin what we had and now he’s gone and gotten engaged to a girl who literally doesn’t even like me.”

“So that’s what this is about.” Jason nodded in acknowledgement of the shittiness. 

But she hesitated. 

There’s more, Tim noted. Probably a lot more. 

“Yeah. Another thing is, like, literally the entire damn city of Paris knows I like him. Seriously, I’m not kidding, I’ve been pulling off grand schemes to try and get his stupid affection for as long as I’ve known him, and anyone who hasn’t at least seen one of my stupid plans in motion is just dumb or really lucky.” She chuckled awkwardly. 

That can’t be the more. It has to be something else. 

“That is a truly shitty situation.” Tim nodded. 

“Yup.” 

“So now you’ve gotta deal with the whole city practically being like ‘wow sucks to be you today’ huh?”

“Yeah.” She breathed quietly. “And it sucks. Everyone reminding me at every damn possible moment that I wasn’t good enough. That I messed up, that I failed, that I… That I lost out and she didn’t.” There was a silent pause. 

“Yeah, we’re gonna need a lot of wine for this one, boys.” Tim found himself mumbling. The other three people in the car burst into laughter.

Chapter Text

“Marinette, tell him he’s stupid.” Chloé whined from the other side of her room while she worked on a commission. 

“Ok. Adrien, you’re stupid.” She complied. 

“Ha!”

“And Chloé, you’re stupid, too.” 

“What?!”

“You tell ‘em, Bean.” Tim mumbled into his coffee from where he sat behind her, halfway partaking in her friends conversation but not really. 

“You’re an idiot too, Tim.” She wasn’t really paying attention to what any of them were talking about, but whatever it was, it could not be intelligent. 

“Marinette, do you even know what’s going on right now?” Adrien asked. 

“Nope.” She responded, truthfully. 

She abandoned her project, it was driving her crazy anyway. 

“What’s up?”

“We were arguing over who would have the best luck stealing the batmobile.” Chloé huffed. 

“Alix.” She answered, immediately. They all three blinked at her. “She could just take it to another dimension, bim bam boom no more batsy mobile.” She shrugged. 

“Marinette.” Tim gave her a blank stare. “What the fuck.”

“It’s true.”

“We mean out of us, dumbass.” Chloé rolled her eyes. “I think I could come up with the best plan, Adrikins here thinks I’m wrong.”

“I think she’s wrong, too.” Tim whispered. “I think it’s you.” Everyone let that sink in for a second. 

“Ugh, Dupain-Cheng would just have a panic attack and drive it into the ocean.” Chloé huffed. 

“No I wouldn’t.” Marinette argued. “I may panic, but I’m not stupid. There are probably  a hundred trackers in that thing, one of them’s got to be waterproof. Hell, the whole thing’s probably waterproof.”

“Oh really? How would you do it, then?” Tim seemed amused by this. He would be. 

“Depends, what are the rules?”

“The rules?” Adrien frowned. 

“Yeah, the rules. If we’re saying this is a planned heist, what do I have to go off of? How long in advance am I planning this out? Are friends allowed? How many friends?” She prompted. 

“Three friends to help you.” Chloé started. “You plan this a month in advance. Only rules. Go.”

“Ok, for starters, my three friends would be Kim, Max, and Alix.” She spun ehr chair around, leaning forward onto the back of it. “Kim and Alix to actually help me hijack the damn thing, Max will be waiting at a garage at a predetermined location with tools at the ready.”

“Tools?” Tim asked, intrigued. 

“Well, obviously, I’m doing this to get away with it, right?”

“Right.” Adrien nodded. 

“So we can assume that ‘stealing it’ and ‘getting away with it’ are two different objectives. The next thing we can assume is that getting rid of the evidence is a time-sensitive problem, and the trackers cannot be disabled for any reason. So clearly, I need to take it all apart. Strip that thing down in record time, load them into four different trucks, driven by the three friends and yours truly, to four different scrap metal return places. Dump the evidence all over the city, never return to that location again, no one is any the wiser.” She shrugged. “Boom.” 

Her friends stared at her for a second before Adrien actually applauded her. 

“And how do you plan on the actual Batman not finding out your identity and, you know, getting evidence anyway?” Tim challenged her further, curious. 

“Disguises.” She offered. “Look different the entire heist. Have multiple looks on hand at all times and be ready to make my grand escape at any moment. If caught by the big bat himself, sweet talk and ask for Red Robin.” Tim choked, but covered it up pretty quickly. 

“Why Red Robin?” Chloé was thoroughly confused. 

“Because he’s the most likely to think I’m cute and forgive me instantly while hiding me from Batman.” She drove her toes into Tim’s back. 

Of course she knew. 

She knew just about everything. 

“And what if that doesn’t work?” Tim tried, looking a little nervous. 

“Nah.” She winked at him. “Trust me, it’s foolproof. I know he'll love me.” 

Chapter Text

“Hey, maybe the next time we do one of those special educational trips abroad like London and New York City, we should ask Mr. D to take us to Gotham.” Dick heard a kid say behind him in the small café he was in in Paris. 

“Dude. Nino.” A girl gave him an almost offended response. “Have you met our classmates? Or are you just dumb?” He wondered what that meant, and hoped she would elaborate. Thankfully, she did. “Kim and Alix make dumb bets over every littl thing they do. Adrien and Marinette turn every little athletic challenge into an olympic-class fight. Max maked everything worse by calculating his predictions of the winners of thor dumb games, and starting an illegal gambling ring in school. You have got to be dumb as hell if you think those five in Gotham fucking City wouldn’t suddenly become a game between the bigger four to see who could get arrested first, and Max egging them on in the background.” The girl predicted. 

“Huh.” The boy seemed to be genuinely thinking that over. “Nah, you know what they really would do?”

“What? What do you think they would do?”

“They’d probably make up, like, a points system for something. Like, Gotham has all those bird-themed vigilante’s, right?”

“Oh my god you’re so right.”

“So Marinette would probably, like, give the different people different points, see how many points they all could wrack up in a single weekend depending on who caught them doing what. Intentionally try and get caught for more points, that’s totally a Marinette thing to do.”

“Yeah, you’re right, we should keep all of Francoise Dupont away from Gotham, for Gotham’s sake. They do not want to deal with a competitive Marinette.”

Dick made a mental note of the school he said the name of. 

He did too want to deal to deal with a competitive Marinette, whoever the hell that might be. 

Three months later, one Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Alix Kubdel, Adrien Agreste, and Lê Chiến Kim sat next to his desk in his GPD precinct. 

The girls were grinning like madmen while he made them answer his questions, having just won the game by getting punched by Batman himself. The boys were scowling, pissed that their plan had failed and they lost. 

Chapter Text

They don’t cancel other plans… 

“Tim, what the hell are you doing?” Marinette tried to bite back a laugh as she opened her front door to see her bestfriend laying upside down on her couch. 

This seemed to be a habit of his, apparently. Sticking his feet up over the top of the backrest, and dangling his head towards the floor. Dick said he stopped doing it pretty soon after his parents died, but was acting more childish again now that she was around. 

She let him do all the dumb shit he wanted in her house, as long as it made him smile. 

“More like the question is what are you doing?” He frowned at her. 

“Tim, this is my house.” She sighed. “I can come and go as I please, I pay for this place.”

“Not what I meant.” He righted himself fairly quickly, and leaned forward. 

“What? You texted me you were bored, I said I had a new movie that came in from netflix that I wanted to watch and popcorn in the cupboard.” She reminded him. 

“You were going to watch that with Alya.” He pointed out. “Don’t think I forgot about that. And I don’t want to be the one that Alya murders when she finds out you watched it without her.” His tone was somewhere between ‘warning’ and ‘scared’.

She laughed at him. 

“Alya will survive if I watch one silly romcom without her.” Marinette rolled her eyes, and dug out the microwavable popcorn. 

“If you say so.” Tim grumbled, unconvinced. 

Truthfully, if it happened only once, Alya would be stoked af. 

She would cheer and fangirl at the one and only incident, but then immediately threaten her to never let him ruin their girl-time. 

It didn’t take a genius detective to figure that out. 

Have conversations with nothing but their eyes…

“Does someone want to tell me who broke this?” Bruce asked in his Tired Dad™ voice. 

Marinette happened to be walking in the door at that exact moment, and Tim saw her eyes go wide as she stood behind Bruce. 

Somehow, miraculously, he didn’t seem to notice her. 

But clearly, due to her reaction, she clearly did The Thing. 

Tim took a closer look, and realised it was a broken Batarang.

“You guys know better than to break these things, and if something seriously wrong happens, which should be the only explanation for this, you need to tell me.”

Tim raised an eyebrow at where Bruce still couldn’t see Marinette. 

What happened?

She made a cringey yet earnest face. 

It was an accident!

But then she switched to guilty. 

But an avoidable one, and I don’t want to explain why I didn’t avoid it…

He bit chewed on his lower lip, and squinted slightly. 

Ok, what’s our cover story here? What do we do about this? 

Her eyes widened for a split second, raising and lowering her eyebrows at the same time she did that, and she shrugged.

Not a fucking clue.

He sighed. 

Great.

“Tim? Do you have something to say?” Brice gave him an expectant look. 

“Not really, no, but I’m sure Jason would love to tell you all about the one that he took to the local arcade, and-” He was cut off by Jason’s hand slamming over his mouth. 

“You know what B, I take full responsibility for Timbo’s mistake here. My bad, my fault, I am so deeply sorry and apologetic for whatever Tim did to the Batarang.” Jason said, flashing the fakest smile.

Marinette sighed in relief, and continued her walk in. 

“Joining us so soon, Miss Dupain-Cheng?” Bruce gave her a softer smile than the rest of them. She nodded, keeping her head down.

Bruce finally left, and the moment he was gone, chaos ensued. 

They don’t hear each other's name and forget to concentrate… 

“So how was watching my movie with Tim?” Alya teased her three seconds after walking in the front door. 

Oh, right. I forgot I did that. Watched the movie. With Tim. 

Ah, Tim. 

Soft and warm Tim. 

Who shared a big fluffy blanket with me. 

And ate my popcorn. 

And fell asleep with me on my couch and hugged me and-

“Earth to Marinette!” Alya waved a hand in front of her face. 

“Huh?” She snapped out of her daydream. 

“Damn, I didn’t realise saying his name was gonna trigger you to go into a state of hypnosis. Do I need to call a hypno-therapist? Did someone else call a hypno-therpist on you?” She joked, an eyebrow raised in suspicion. 

“What? Oh, no, I’m fine, no trigger words that make me faint or start quacking around here.” She giggled awkwardly. 

Hits a nerve and lights you up like dynamite…

“Hey, Timmy, you got a second?” Jason asked from the doorway. 

“Huh? Yeah, what’s up?” He leaned back in his desk chair, scrunching his nose when he turned his head and his hair fell in his face. 

“What’s the deal with you and Marinette?” Jason asked, arms crossed. 

Marinette. 

He wanted to know about Marinette. 

Marinette who was always so creative. 

Who jumped around her apartment whenever she got a good idea, literally unable to contain her chaotic energy. 

Who got a wild look in her eyes when she was thinking up a plan, usually staring at a blank canvas, but also at the occasional Rouge while coming up with a stupid-long plan to take them down with nothig but a simply lucky charm. 

Beautiful Marinette who grinned when she had paint on her face and her pigtails were falling out. Who could bake perfect pastries but had no idea how to boil an egg. Who stuck her tongue out at little kids. Who-

“Yo, Tim, are you ok?” Jason frowned at him. 

“What? Oh, yeah, I was just trying to figure out how to answer your question.” This baffled Jason, which in turn baffled Tim as to why Jason was baffled in the first place. 

“Question? Question singular? Tim, I’ve asked you like seven questions about Marinette, and you just keep giving me this big dumb goofy smile in response.” Jason scoffed at him. “I guess that tells me all I need to know, then.” He shook his head as he walked out.

“Wait, Jay?!” Tim yelled, a little nervous. “What does it tell you? Jay, what does it tell you?!” He got no answer. 

Friends don’t call you in the middle of the night, couldn’t even tell you why, they just felt like saying “hi”... 

Tim groaned at the sound of his phone ringing, until he realised that the buzzing had started before the song, and he recognized what song was playing now that a few seconds had passed. 

‘Oh I want a hippopotamus for christmas… only a hippopotamus will do…’ That was Mairnette’s ringtone. 

Don’t ask, it’s a long story. 

He found himself diving out of his chair to grab the phone. 

“Hey, what’s up?” He tried to sound chill. 

He was not chill. 

“Nothing.” He could hear the shrug through the phone. “Bored.”

“So you called me?” He tried not to pride himself too much in that. 

“Oh don’t get an ego.” She deadpanned. “I would have called Alya, but I saw her earlier today.”

“And you’re still alive after that, good to hear.” He joked. 

“I might be a pre-recording, you never know.” She joked right back. 

“Is that you saying I should facetime you, then?” He tried. 

She paused.

“No, my phone is so far away and it took me like five minutes of yelling at Siri through my bluetooth headphones to even call you in the first place. I don’t wanna get up.” She sighed. 

“Oh. Ok.” He slowly got up from where he had fallen over, and went back to his laptop. 

But then she started to tell him some story, and he found himself unable to work and listen at the same time. 

Usually, he was very good at that. At pretending to listen to Bruce with his full attention while actually making small notes in his head about what he was saying and working at the same time. 

But everytime he started to tune out Marinette he stopped everything he was doing and listened with intent. With intent to do what, he didn’t know, but it was intent nonetheless.

“So, are you going to Chloé’s silly costume party? She keeps reminding me about how she’s always wanted to have one and no one in Paris appreciates the good holidays .” MArinete mocked Chloé’s voice, shittily. “I think that’s the only reason she agreed to move here with the rest of us, she’s only here for the halloween parties.”

“I’ll go if you want me to.” He offered, and then bit his tongue. 

He was supposed to patrol.

It was halloween, after all. 

Really, the others should be patrolling, too, Marinette and her gang included, but…

There was no force on earth that could stop Chloé from having this party this year. 

“Really?”

“Yeah really, I think hanging out with you is better than most things I could be doing.”

Friends don’t stand around playing with their keys finding reasons not to leave…

“Shit.” Tim scowled at his phone. 

“What?” Marinette blinked up at him. She looked cute as hell in her Ladynoir costume from that time her and Chat Noir had accidentally switched powers. 

He was glad she had decided against the green eye contacts, they had thrown him off a bit when he had first seen them. 

“Ah, Dick’s found some trouble.” He wondered if he could ignore it.

Probably not, they would give him hell for a month if he just straight-up didn’t respond, but…

He would much rather be having fun with Marinette than chasing down Nightwing. 

“Ah. You should probably… get on that, then.” She frowned, disappointedly. 

“Yeah…” He knew he should go. 

It was the right thing to do. 

Yeah… It was… 

He grabbed his car keys, and decided to inspect them. 

Waste a few more seconds. 

“Tim stop fiddling with the car keys, and just go already.” Marinette grumped. “Your dramatic pouting is getting on my nerves.”

“Huh?” He realised she was right. 

She stood up, huffed, and pulled him to his feet. 

But she had been sitting right next to him, and he almost crashed into her as he was yanked forward. 

…Trying to hide the chemistry…

Can I have a goodbye kiss first?

She wanted to ask him. She wanted to do it anyway, with him standing so close. 

Then again, he was only so close because she had pulled him over here. 

He wasn’t standing there willingly, she was holding onto him. 

SHe quickly let go, but he didn’t move away like she expected him to. 

He just kept staring at her. 

Marinette felt a blush creeping up on her face, and she finally gave him an awkward shoulder pat before walking away to let him leave. 

He shifted a bit before finally coming to terms and leaving. 

Drive a little too slow, take the long way home…  

“Hey, Marinette?” Alya asked from the backseat. 

“Yeah, Alya?” She shot back. 

“I noticed something a little odd.” Marinette hummed in response. 

“What’s odd, Alya?” 

“You’re following traffic laws today.” Alya pointed out. 

“And that’s odd?” Tim was sitting in the passenger seat, and turned to give her a weird look. 

“It’s odd for Marinette, yeah. Usually she goes like twenty five over the speed limit, and doesn’t stop at stop signs.” Nino snickered. 

“Marinette!” Tim gave her an offended look, but was cackling internally. She gave a look of great offense at the road in front of her. 

“Hey! I will risk your lives, but I’m not risking Tim’s!” She yelled. 

He tried not to blush at the very odd… compliment? Did that count as a compliment? It wasn’t a direct compliment, just a… flirtatious comment? Was that even flirting? Or just… he needed more coffee. 

“Suuuuure, that’s why we’re going so slow.” Alya drawled. 

“Hey, don’t tease the driver.” Nino warned. “She’s smart enough to crash the car and only kill you.”

“She is.” The driver agreed. “But I won’t. Not… today.” 

Get a little too close…

Marinette looked over at her exhausted friend on the couch next to her. 

She fought the urge to reach up and play with his hair as he blinked rapidly, fighting to stay awake. 

But then he slouched forward, and she erupted in a fit of giggles as he got frosting from her coffee cake on his face. 

He sighed defeatedly, and she reached to grab a paper towel from the kitchen. 

“I don’t know how much more of this bullshit I can take.” He grumbled, and she sat back down to help wipe the frosting off of his chin. 

“What bullshit?” She asked, and he started to fall asleep on her before he could answer. 

“All the bullshit.” He yawned, and started to fall sideways. 

She gave up, and leaned back, wrapping her arms around him to take him down with her. 

He was asleep in seconds. 

She grinned at the top of his head, and waited a few minutes before caving on herself and trying to braid his longer hair into two little french braids. 

She wished she had some elastics on her, preferably the tiniest ones, but alas she did not. She would just have to take a picture while holding them in place with her hands.

We do, but friends don’t…

He watched her twirl dramatically in the short but very poofy pink dress. 

She went to keep twirling, but still wasn’t used to the heels she was using, and tripped. 

“Ah!” She yelled, and he jumped over to catch her. 

Alya burst into laughter, and Nino just facepalmed. 

“Ridiculous, Dupain-Cheng, utterly ridiculous.” Chloé sighed, trying to hide her small smile. “What would Mommy say about you breaking your ankles the day of an event?” 

But Marinette paid them no attention as she tried to right herself. 

“Thanks.” She looked up at him, even in her heels. They were only five inches, he was still two inches taller than her at five ten.

Oh fuck I love her.

He wasn't laughing at her. 

The rest of her friends were chuckling, and thinking something along the lines of ‘oh classic Marinette, always tripping on air’ or whatever else. 

But Tim was frowning down at her, eyes full of concern and worry. 

She felt herself choke, and tried to cover it up. 

“Thanks.” She mumbled as he held onto her long after she was already standing upright and stable. 

“Are you ok to walk? You don’t need different shoes? You’re sure you can walk with those ones?” He almost reminded her of herself with the rambling and panicking. 

Oh no I love him . 

They don’t almost say “I love you” when they’re downtown somewhere, just a little drunk… 

Jason had dragged him out for a ‘post-fight party’ or whatever the hell this was. 

“This is not a good idea.” Tim sighed, but followed anyway. 

Two hours later, he was calling Marinette, more than a little stressed. 

“Marinette, help.” He said into the phone.

“Tim? What’s going on?”

“I need help?”

“What? What happened? Where are you?”

He gave her the name of the bar. She sighed. 

“Ah. That kind of help.”

“Please come get me.”

“Alright, I’m coming, don’t move.”

“Easy promise. I haven’t moved in a while.” She hung up on him to drive, and twenty minutes later someone was tapping his shoulder. 

He grabbed their hand, and went to flip them over, but realised it was Marinette and pulled her into a hug instead. 

“Oh yay, it’s you.” He said into the top of her head. 

She smiled awkwardly, hesitantly hugging him back. 

“Are you ok?” She asked, not specifying what exactly she was asking about. 

“I missed you.” He started rocking her back and forth, and she sighed, trying to get him to stop. 

“Yeah, but are you ok? What’s going on?”

He sighed. 

“I just… Can I go home? I don’t think Jason will let me go home.” Marinette paused for a second, squeezing her eyes shut in stress.

“Yeah, buddy. But you look like a mess so you’re coming to mine so I can watch you and make sure you don’t die.” Tim hummed in acknowledgement as she pulled him out to her car. She waved at Dick as they left, and he cheerfully waved back, seeing nothing wrong with the scene in front of him. 

The fact he didn’t even ask a little bit concerned her. 

They arrived back at her apartment building, and he leaned on her as they went upwards. 

She went to walk off, but he grabbed her hand and squeezed before she had to pull him to walk forward. 

She dragged him into her apartment, and then tried to let go so she could go put pajamas on and go to bed. 

But everytime she tried to let go, he’d start whining and hug her again. 

This is like watching a toddler. A very needy toddler . 

She was blurry. 

She was very blurry. 

But he coils still tell it was her. 

It smelled like her, it looked like her, it sounded like her, it acted like her, and it felt like it was her.

“Come on, Tim, I have to put some pajamas on. I can’t sleep in jeans, and I can’t take my clothes off with you clinging to me like a koala. It’s not happening.” Oh yeah. The was 100% Marinette.

“Fine.” She snapped, and started to walk towards her room, not caring if he followed or not. 

She flicked the lights on, and shut the door. 

She used ehr one free hand to struggle with opening her drawers and pulled out a pajama set. 

“Ok, the door is closed and if I promise not to go anywhere, would you please let go of my hand so I can change my damn pants?” He scowled. 

“But I don’t want to.” He mumbled. 

“Why?” She huffed. 

“Because…” Because I love you. “I just don’t want to. I like your hand. It’s a nice hand. You should be proud of your nice hand.”

She groaned, and then hands be damned she fell face-first onto her bed. She dragged him with her. 

He fell down next to where she was, and held their conjoined hands up close to his face. 

She snorted at him, and then laughed. 

“You look stupid.” She said quietly, and he hummed in agreement. 

He woke up confused. 

“Hello?” He asked, loudly. 

He seemed to be in Marinette’s room.

How the hell did he get there?

“Ah, you’re up.” Alya yelled from the kitchen.  

He was still wearing clothes, that was a good sign. 

“What the fuck?”

“Hey bitch.” Marinette popped up from where she was sitting on the floor. He sat up to look down at her, and she had been stretching on a yoga mat on the floor. “You refused to let go of my hand long enough to let me change into pajamas and I fell asleep in jeans last night.” She reached over and gently slapped his cheek. He scrunched his nose up at her touch to his pounding head. “So fuck you for that.”

“Why was I holding your hand?” He had very little memory of what had happened the night before. ALl he remembered was Jason saying ‘this is gonna be a good idea’ and then… here he was.  

“You called me because Jason wouldn’t let you leave and I didn’t want to let you stay home alone. So I took you here.” She shrugged, and Alya leaned on the doorframe. 

“Don't worry, you didn’t do anything sketchy.” Alya smirked, and Marinette threw a sneaker at her. 

He sighed, and leaned backwards, still propped up on one of his elbows. 

“Alya, shut the fuck up. Tim, you literally refused to tell me why you were holding my hand, you just wouldn’t let go. You just followed me all around my house, not letting me use my hand to do anything. I had to wait until this morning when you finally let go of me to pee.”

“Sorry.” He apologized, wishing he could remember what holding her hands had been like. 

“Don’t be, it was adorable.” She avoided looking at him after saying that, and he figured he better leave. “I have bagels, if you want some bagels.” Or maybe not. 

They don’t talk about the future and put each other in it…

“Then this bitch was like ‘where do you see yourself in ten years’ and I was like… bitch I can barely see myself eating dinner tonight, the fuck are you talking ten year’ but like with less swearing of course and-”

“You ate spanish rice for dinner that night.” Tim reminded her as she ranted to Jason, not looking up from his computer. 

She blinked. 

“How do you remember that?” She marvelled. “I’d say ‘I don’t even remember what I ate for breakfast’ but you would probably tell me that too.” She said, somewhat jokingly.

“Bagels.” He gave as a response. She shook her head at him. 

“Anyway, she asked me what my long term goals are and I had no idea, I barely have any goals other than punching bitches and painting, like, why isn’t that good enough? Why can’t things just stay the same as they’re going right now when what I’m doing right now is totally working for me?” She waved a hand about, and grabbed another carrot off the vegetable tray. “I mean, sure, maybe I could stand to drag Tim out of the house more frequently, make him come on some sort of vacation of sorts with me, but other than that I think I’m fine.”

“Uh-huh.” Jason nodded, intrigued and also amused. “Interesting.”

“What?” She frowned. 

“Oh, nothing.” He waved it away, shittily hiding his smile. He was just so used to not having to hide his expressions when the helmet covered his whole face, but wasn’t wearing that helmet right now. His enjoyment was completely visible. 

Tim stopped his typing suddenly. 

She didn’t know why. 

Was it something she said? What did she say? Did Tim have something against vacations or something?

“I’m gonna let you two talk that one out.” But Jason was only grinning as he walked out, leaving her confused in the middle of the kitchen. 

It was silent for a moment. 

“Do you really think that?” He asked her after a few moments. 

“Huh?” She frowned at him. “This what? What did I say?” He was fighting a blush, clearly. 

“Someone asked you about your future, yeah?”

“Yeah? And I said I was happy where I am?” She still didn’t get what the big deal was. 

“And that given the opportunity, the only thing you would change about your life is that you wish I would be in it more?” She realised what he was getting at. 

She truly was happy, really. 

She loved where she was at in her career with artwork. 

The only thing she wanted to change about her life was… Tim. 

She wanted to change how much time she and him were together. 

She thought it had been a mistake, thinking that she loved him that day. That it had been an odd moment of vulnerability, and that her feelings weren’t real. 

Invalid. 

Clearly, the rest of her had not gotten that message and had been slowly falling in love without her. 

She really really did love him. 

And that was a problem. 

“Huh. I guess.” She offered, and turned away from him to grab a glass before she could mess up any further. 

Before she started stuttering like a mess. 

Before she started to act like a crazy stalker and did something everyone regretted.

Before she started acting like… well, herself. 

Before being too ‘Marinette’ became too much for him. 

“Like… like how do you-”

“Bye, Tim.” She cut him off loudly, patting him on the head as she headed for the door. 

“Marinette, what does that mean?! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, MARINETTE?!” He yelled as she transformed, jumped off his apartment balcony, and headed back home via rooftops. 

And get chills with every accidental touch…

“Sorry.” She said to the floor as she pushed past him in the office space. 

“Don’t be sorry, Marinette, that’s dumb.” Tim sighed as she walked away. 

She missed him. 

It had been a month, and she had avoided him as much as she could stand to. 

And she couldn’t stand to be away from him too much, so that really wasn’t saying a lot. 

But it was noticeable. To both of them. 

Marinette ignored him a little more as she walked away without saying much more after accidently bumping into him. 

She felt like she was going to explode. 

He had been right there. Right there! And she had bumped into him! And-

She forcibly stopped her spiraling, standing frozen in the empty hallway in Chloé’s party. 

She almost dropped ehr drink on the floor from sheer stress. 

She was doing it again. 

Acting like a total idiot and a stupid child because of a dumb guy. 

Acting all giddy from accidentally running into him. 

They were friends, damnit. 

The kind of friends who called each other over everyone else when they got upset, who fell asleep in eachothers arms, and…

Who was she kidding. 

Friends didn’t do that. They had passed friends a long time ago. She was just making a fool of herself about it now . 

Marinette wondered if Tim had felt it too. 

Like they were more than friends. 

She wondered how long he had considered her more than a friend. 

She wondered if he felt lied to. 

You know, for thinking that they were equally flirting and falling for eachother, without all the idiocy. She wondered if he would feel betrayed by all the childishness she was trying to hide from him. 

“I miss you.” She nearly jumped out her skin at the sudden voice behind her. 

She should have heard him coming, the hallway was nearly empty. 

But she jumped anyway, turning around so fast she spilled the contents of her red solo cup, to see a very sad looking Tim. 

She blinked rapidly, wondering what to do now.

“I haven't gone anywhere.” She tried, smiling awkwardly. 

“Yet somehow I’ve been missing you for a while.” He took a few steps closer to her, and she leaned against the wall, pathetically. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” She said to the floor, crossing her ankles lazily as she leaned backwards. 

“No, I don’t think you do.” He stood over her, and she looked anywhere but up. “I don’t think you really do know how much I’ve missed you.”

She hummed for a reply. 

“Alya told me, you know.” She hesitated at that. “She told me all about how you acted when you guys were kids. She told me all the ridiculous tricks and plans you almost pulled off.”

“Damnit, Alya.” She mumbled, still avoiding Tim, despite the fact that he was in kissing distance. 

“She told me because I called her panicking, wondering what I had done wrong. What I did that hurt you. Turns out, nothing. I did nothing.” She flickered her gaze slowly upwards, blinking a lot and awkwardly, forcing herself to make at least brief eye contact. 

She was shaking from fear. 

“She said you were avoiding me because you were scared you were gonna become the kind of person you worked so hard not to be, and that you were afraid you were gonna hurt me in the process.” He cupped her face in his hands, and she melted. 

She let all of her stress fall away into his oddly-soft-for-a-vigilante hands, staring up into his pale blue-gray eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” She tried. He frowned slightly at that. Unimpressed. 

“For what? For thinking that I would just give up and move on if you stayed away long enough? That if I even tried to forget about you, things would go back to the way they were?” Wait, what? Move on? Way they were? No! I don’t want that! What I want is not to act like an idiot everytime i see you so that you hate me forever! “News flash, Marinette.” His grip on her face tightened ever so slightly, not anywheres near hurting her, just pulling her closer to him.  “Maybe I like you too. Maybe I want you around. Maybe I don’t care if you get a little silly when you love someone. Maybe…” He paused, and she was at a complete loss for words. “Maybe I don’t care if you get silly when you love someone because it’s me. Maybe I’d like to see what you look like when you love me.” There was a moment of silence again as he calculated her reaction to that. 

“I do love you.” She blurted out like an idiot who had no control over her mouth.

No, not like an idiot who had no control over her mouth, because she was an idiot who had no control over her mouth. 

“And I’ve loved you for a very long time and I was just too stupid to realsie and I never acted like an idiot because I didn’t realise and now that I’ve realised i do I’m afraid you’re gonna stop liking me because of my attitude change and I feel like you won’t like the sudden shift in my personality and I just…” She ran out of words. 

“Can I do something stupid?” She didn’t get the reference, and scoffed, 

“We’ve been doing nothing but stupid things for the last month and a half. Nothing you could do right now could make it worse.” He blinked for a second, and then the next thing she knew her head was pinned between him and the wall.

Ah, yes. 

That stupid thing. 

He could do this kind of ‘stupid thing’ anytime. She probably wouldn’t mind. 

We do, but friends don't. 

Chapter Text

Red Robin was used to grateful smiles when he pulled people out of burning or exploding buildings. Maybe the occasional person who was too traumatized to be thankful, sure, but for the most part, people loved it when he saved them. 

This girl seemed to be an exception. 

She glared daggers at him, absolutely seething with rage as the fire burned in the background. 

“I hope you're damn proud of yourself.” She snapped. 

He noted the french accent. 

“I hope you’re so proud of your little detective skills that apparently aren’t very good if you bust down the door in the middle of a fucking interrogation. Dumbass.”

Ooh, not the skills. Don’t roast the skills. 

“Interrogation? You know, most people don't try to interrogate someone by getting kidnapped and blown up.” He shot back without thinking the statement through. 

She scoffed at him, 

“Seriously? You have the audacity to look at someone you don’t know and assume they don’t know what they’re doing?” She was shaking from trying to hold herself back from physically fighting him, he could tell. “Newsflash, motherfucker, I’ve been doing this longer than you.” She stormed off into the smoke-filled night, growling about something gone wrong. 

He wondered who the hell she was. 

He found out two days later when Ladybug punched him in the face for seemingly no reason, and followed it up with ‘he knows why.’ when pressed for details. 

Chapter Text

“YO BITCH GUESS WHAT? I FOUND A-” a random girl threw open Jason's front door, and then cut herself off with confusion as she stared at the wall she had just thrown the door into. “Well that's a new sound.” She mumbled, and peered behind the door to investigate. “Get a door stopper?” She test-threw the door into it twice more just to make sure.

She didn’t seem to notice everyone staring at her, slightly freaked out a bit by the sudden appearance of the stranger.

“Smart move, I do tend to throw this thing open more often than I should.” She nodded slowly, and pushed past them all to get to the kitchen. Dick stared at the back of her head in extreme confusion, but Tim just shook his head and went back to his phone. “Oh, and did you grab the thing I asked you for? That black and pink thing that smells like… Ah, what’s the american word? Candy floss? Flossing something?” She waved a hand around, and helped herself to the fridge. Her eyes lit up with joy as she grabbed something labeled ‘Bang’. “You did!” She read the can label. “Ohhhhh, cotton candy. I forgot that was what it was called.” She shut the fridge door, and bounded over to the couch where Jason looked a little embarrassed. “Wish I could stay, but I’ve got a meeting to get to and I just wanted to steal your food real quick before I go. Uncle Jag gets mad when I have to reschedule on him.” The mystery girl gave him a kiss on the top of his head before she practically bounced out of the room. “Oh, and tell your mystery friends they ain't slick.” She winked at Dick before slamming the door as aggressively as she had opened it. 

“What the hell was that about?” He asked as soon as she was gone. Jason just sighed deeply in response, 

“You don’t want to know. Trust me.”

Chapter Text

She blinked as she suddenly found the tip of a sword less than an eight of an inch from her nose. It was blocking her vision to her memes she was looking at on her phone. 

“Are you seriously going to kill me over one slice of cheesecake?” She grumbled, and the sword didn’t waver. “Cassie, baby, I love you, but if you kill me I don’t think Nino would like it very much. And he runs most of those dance shows you enjoy so much.” She pointed out. 

The sword disappeared, and Marinette gave her a mildly amused look as her girlfriend scowled at her. She couldn’t see her face, but she could just feel the scowl. 

“I will spare you for the shows.” Black Bat mumbled through the mask before ripping it off to reveal Marinette was right about the scowl. 

“Alright.” She stood up from where she had been sitting on the couch. “I’ll buy you a new one to make up for the slice I stole.” She kissed her temple. Black Bat scrunched her nose up at that. “And throw in some Marinette Soup to go with it.” Cass nodded sharply, and Marinette knew she was forgiven as she made her way to the kitchen to make dinner. Cass did fall in love with her for the soup, after all.

Chapter Text

“Hey, you guys didn’t tell me Jason had a tik tok!” Jon burst out randomly, confusing everyone in the room. 

“We… didn’t know?” Tim set down his laptop, and moved over to look over Jon’s shoulder. Dick followed, and Damian pretended not to be interested while watching out of the corner of his eyes. 

The video looped, and it showed a girl sitting in the passenger seat of a car, and grinning as she leaned to show Jason driving. And singing Fergalicious and wiggling as he drove. 

A caption popped up, only for a few seconds, but it was long enough read before it disappeared, 

‘His dumb ass gon crash us.’ 

But they watched as the girl in the passenger seat watched him jam out with a soft and fond expression. 

“Holy shit.” Dick said over the sound of the video. “Wait, what’s the username?”

“SauceyStone.” Jon answered. 

The video looped again, and he opened the account. 

“Wait, this isn’t Jason’s account.” Tim pointed out, and they noticed he was right. “It’s the girls account.”

“Marinette Stone? Does that sound familiar to anyone?” Barbara came over to investigate as she walked in to find everyone looking over Jon’s shoulders. 

“Yeah, actually.” She said, and Dick gave her a confused look. “That’s the girl who’s adopted by Jagged Stone the singer, right? She’s the head of Red Turtle Studio’s art and design stuff.” 

Everyone blinked at her for a second, and then immediately pulled out their own phones to find out what the hell was going on. 

Jon played more of her videos. 

Many of them had Jason in them. 

One was captioned, ‘Chilling in the studio, ran into these dipshits.’ It consisted of her trying to dance to a song, but was interrupted by the artist T-Shell as he ran in front of her camera and started aggressively yet shittily dancing. 

Marinette, as the header on her profile called her, doubled over with laughter, but it wasn’t audible because of the song that was playing. 

Jason ran into the frame next, dancing as stupidly as Nino was. Marinette laughed so hard she fell over,and out of the frame. Then the video looped, and Jon moved into the next one. 

She was back in the car again, but this time she was talking as Jason drove. But she was talking on french, and Damian had to translate for Jon. 

‘So I was in the bakery the other day, my parent’s bakery, and the miraculous court member Ryuko walked in, and she’s, you know, the total blank-faced one, right?’ She looked to her left, and they heard someone who was very obviously Jason despite the french accent say, 

‘Yeah, I know who you’re talking about.’ And the girl continued, 

‘So my mother was behind the counter, and she looked this girl up and down, and just says to her, “Nice sword!” And then Ryuko stares at my mother for a second then just goes-’ Marinette made a face completely devoid of emotion, and said in a gravely tone, ‘“Thank you. Ladybug gave it to me.”’ She grinned and continued, ‘And then she just grabbed a bag and left like nothing had happened. It freaked me right the fuck out.’ The video looped, and they looked at another one.

This one was in english. 

‘YOU THINK YOUR CHILDHOOD WAS SHITTY? HA! WELL TO THAT, I HAVE TO SAY-’ She smiled softly. ‘All of us have different perceptions of pain and what’s one thing to you is different to me and we may have different experiences and I’m not gonna make you feel bad about yourself because of our differences.’ They expected the video to end there, but it didn’t. ‘HA! JUST KIDDING! I WAS HELD HOSTAGE FOR SIX YEARS AND ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY HAVE BEEN MAGICALLY BRAINWASHED INTO BECOMING SUPER VILLAINS WHO TRIED TO KILL ME AT LEAST ONCE EACH, MANY OF THEM TWICE, INCLUDING MY OWN GRANDPARENTS.’ She threw on a pair of sunglasses aggressively. ‘TRY AGAIN BITCHES, NONE OF YOU CAN COMPARE TO BEING KILLED AND BROUGHT BACK ON A DAILY BASIS FOR NEARLY TEN YEARS. TRY THE FUCK AGAIN.’ She revved the engine, taking off like a shot, and the video looped. 

Jon hit pause, and they all let that sink in. 

“She must be Parisian, then?” Tim frowned. 

“Huh?” Jon frowned at him. 

“Paris. Where the akuma situation was. That was what she was talking about, with the whole…” He tried to explain how the akuma’s worked, and the others in the room stared at him in slight horror. “Some people have been killed an insane amount of times. Apparently, this girl was one of them.”

“Huh.” Jon mumbled, and scrolled to the next video. 

The band Kitty Section was playing some odd version of The Final Countdown, and Marinette sat on a stool, nodding along. Rose was singing the building-up, but then paused as Marinette yelled, 

‘It’s a men-tal breakdown!’ And Rose burst into laughter as the rest of the band kept playing for two more seconds before the video looped again. 

Dick giggled, and Jon scrolled again. 

She was filming Jason sitting in his chair sideways and reading a book from a distance. 

She was using the microphone from headphones, obviously, as her voice sounded a bit loud for whispering. She was talking in a shitty australian accent,

‘And here we see, with our own eyes, a wild nerd in his natural habitat.’ Jason pretended not to notice her, but squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt not to laugh. ‘We must be careful not to spook the nerd, seeing as they can quite often use nearby books or action figures as projectile weapons when interrupted.’ The camera shook, purposefully, as she scooted closer. ‘ As you can see here, this nerd is reading Shakespeare. This makes him a huge nerd, of the arrogant genus and the literary species.’

‘Nettie, what are you doing?’ Jason couldn’t hold back the giggles anymore. The girl gasped. 

‘We’ve been spotted!’ The camera shook for real as she turned to run back through the house. ‘We must run, before he catches us!’ The shaking was stopped suddenly and the camera flipped around to show Jason holding her around the waist. 

‘You have some nerve calling me a nerd while wearing a Chat Noir hoodie and a Rena Rouge t-shirt!’ He used his free hand to grab her zip-up’s hood and pull it down over her nose. She shrieked with laughter, and yelled, 

‘That’s different! I know them! They are literally my friends! This isn’t me being a nerd, it’s me being a supportive friend!’ 

‘You have GOT to stop saying that out loud.’ 

The next one was a duet. 

Nino was saying, 

‘Various quotes from Hamilton as my friends, part four. ’ He said into his headphones microphone, and the camera cut to Adrien Agreste in a restaurant booth as the line ‘My dog speaks more eloquently than thee’ played, and was captioned at the stop of the screen. Adrien was entirely oblivious. The Adrien in the duet gave an offended look as he reacted to it for the first time. 

The next shirt clip was of a pink-haired girl, and the line ‘I hadn't slept in a week, I was weak,’ Was played and captioned. Everyone in the duet laughed, but silently, because of editing. 

The next was Marinette, who wiggled nervously in the duet, but original-video-Marinette was giving Nino a very confused look while ‘I’ve seen injustice in the world, and I’ve corrected it’ played. Duet-Adrien clapped in agreement, and Marinette blushed, hiding her face in her sweatshirt. 

The next two were labeled ‘Alya and Marc’ and the line ‘Why do you write like you're running out of time? Write day and night like you need it to survive,’ was put on the screen, over their respective heads. The people in the original video were oblivious to the fact they were being filmed at all. 

They got called down to discuss something, and they figured they had time for one more video. 

‘Everyone keeps asking me how I met Jason, and when I tell people I met him in a coffee shop everyone expects some weird cute “Coffee Shop AU” stories, but I don’t know if it’s cute how I made a very shitty joke that made him laugh so hard he choked and I felt bad so I bought him a cookie. I don’t think that qualifies as a cute story.’ 

This one left everyone confused. 

They finally decided to call it quits on virtually stalking some stranger, and just head downstairs to the batcave… to find Red Hood and Ladybug had some vital information they needed to hear from Paris.

Chapter Text

Jason Todd had not a single solid clue his wife was keeping a secret from him until he saw a mysterious blond man climbing in through his hallway window at three in the morning. 

He wasted no time trying to fight him because hey, this was a total stranger, and he was breaking and entering via the fire escape in the middle of the night. 

“Who the hell do you think you are?” He snapped as he slammed the guys head in the wall. 

“Jay?” Marinette called out from the kitchen area, where she had been hunting for a phone charger for nearly five minutes. “What's going on?” She walked out, nearly-dead phone in hand, and stared at the scene. 

He did not expect her to burst into laughter. 

“Oh my god, I have to get a picture of this.” She cackled, and quickly snapped a photo of him holding the intruders head against the sheetrock. 

“Well hello there, Princess, long time no see.” The blond man said sarcastically. Jason slammed his head again at the nickname. Blondie cringed. “Mind telling whoever the hell this is to let me go?” 

“No, this is quite funny, if I’m being totally honest.” She shrugged. 

“Marinette, you know this asshole?” He frowned at his lovely wife. 

“Know him?” She snorted, and leaned against the wall, admiring the scene. “Quite unfortunately. And Adrien, buddy, I know for a fact you could have kicked his ass five minutes ago. What’s the holdup for?” The two men eyed each other warily, and Jason decided to somewhat aggressively let go of him. 

“You’re not supposed to be here.” Marinette suddenly switched her demeanor from mildly amused to confused and slightly pissed. 

“Yeah well neither are you, if we’re both being honest here.” Adrien shot back. 

“I live here!”

“You know what I meant.” The two got into a staring contest, and Jason had to wonder how they really knew each other. “You know I’m right.”

“Yeah well guess what? I was fine before you showed up. I was better than fine, really, for a grand total of six years.” She waved her hand in Jason’s direction. “No one was gonna be any the wiser, but thanks to you showing up, people are gonna find out.” Adrien narrowed his eyes slightly. “News flash, Agreste, nobody knows . Literally not one person in this entire city has any reason to believe I am who I was. And now that you’ve popped back up in my life, which you are only supposed to do if the world is on the verge of collapsing, I have to explain away why.”

“Explain what? What don’t I know?” They both turned and stared at him blankly. 

“You gonna tell him, or just pretend like this whole interaction never happened?” Adrien looked back to Marinette, who was looking terribly stressed out. 

“Adrien, that’s Jason.” She mumbled. “Jason Todd. My lovely husband.” Adrien’s face slowly morphed into one of both fear and agitation. 

“Oh my god Mairnette, what the fuck have you done?” Well that was… an odd reaction. 

“Done what? Why are you making that face? What?” Jason was starting to get more than a little freaked out this point. 

“You literally had one fucking job.” Adrien completely ignored him, and Marinette stared at the floor. “One. And you probably just messed up fifteen years of operations.” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Jason insisted. 

“I know, I messed up on that end, but come on, Chat!” Marinette was apparently also ignoring him as well. This was not fair. “You can’t just send me into a whole new city and expect me not meet people!” She waved her hands around, defending herself, and Adrien looked at her disappointedly. “That’s just ridiculous!”

“Yeah, sure, you’re allowed to meet people, that part is obvious. What you shouldn’t be allowed to do is just straight-up get married to the people you're supposed to be, oh I don’t know, avoiding at all costs?” Adrien snapped. 

“SOMEONE JUST TELL ME WHAT’S HAPPENING!” Jason lost it, and they both stopped their arguing. 

Marinette took a deep shaky breath. 

“Seven years ago, an ancient magical artifact went missing.” She started, looking guilty as hell. “Six years and six months ago, I traced the magic to Gotham. Six years and four months ago, I moved here to hunt down the evil bitch, take back the power, and restore it to where it belonged.” She paused, and squeezed her eyes shut. 

“What, are you like some sort of reverse Indiana Jones?” The woman in front of him seemingly disappeared, and was replaced with an absolute stranger. 

“Yeah, if archeology is the box in the back of your closet.” Adrien snorted. 

“Six years and three months ago, I found her.” Marinette ignored them both. “I followed her to a bar, where she was meeting with some guy, he didn’t even turn out to be important, just a potential victim. But she wasn’t as good as she thought she was, and I intervened. I played distraction while she thought he was a no-show and… left.” She finally looked him in the eyes. “Turns out, the person I was trying to distract was a little but cuter than I planned on.” 

The first time they met hadn’t been a coincidence. She hadn’t just randomly bumped into him and spilled stuff on her shirt as an accident, it had been on purpose. She had thought he was going to be in trouble, and messed up his day to try and save him. 

He blinked in confusion. 

“Two days later, you asked me out, I couldn’t come up with a reason to argue with myself that it wouldn’t be a good idea, and I said yes.” She smiled a little bit. “Best decision of my life.”

“Yeah, yeah, we get it, you’re a hopeless romantic.” Adrien was frowning as they both turned to glare at him. “Get on with your story, Alya will be pissed with me if I don’t have all the details.” Mairnette rolled her eyes, but continued. 

“Fine. Just about six years ago, I had a hold on her location and her plan. Five years, and eight months ago, I called in one Lila Rossi to have arrested for a laundry list of crimes. Two days later, I was supposed to leave.” She looked away from both of them. “I was supposed to disappear mysteriously, take the powers, and go back home. Reassemble the team to its fullest power, and… be the leader I was supposed to be.” He almost detected a bit of shame in her voice. “But the day before I was supposed to go, you…” He did the math in his head. 

“I asked you to marry me.” He frowned. That whole entire time, she had been planning to leave? To just run away, never see him again, and head back to her base of operations?

She even had a base of operations? She did operations?

“I couldn’t do it.” Marinette whispered. “I was supposed to finish my stupid mission, but I couldn’t leave you .” There was a tear forming in her eye, and he reached over to wipe it off of her face. “I loved you too much to leave, I didn’t have it in me to go anywhere.”

“Man, I should have recorded this. Alya would kill to have been here.” Adrien seemed to be insensitive to the mood of the room.

“I am going to stab you.” The soft and sad look faded, and Marinette glared at her friend. 

“I know.” Adrien grinned. 

“So what about that artifact? Have we just had that evil magic in our apartment this whole time?” She made a guilty face. 

“Actually, we’ve had a lot more than just one.” She confessed. “Including my earrings, we should have about nineteen in total. But we only have around seven because some of them are in use, under my direction.” She shrugged. He frowned. 

“Your earrings have been magic this whole time?”

She took another shaky breath. 

“I really- I just- I don’t know how to-” Adrien cut her off, 

“Ever heard of Ladybug and Chat Noir?” He grinned. Jason scowled at him, again. 

“Yeah, they were heroes in Paris, who had powers of creations and destruction, and they-” He stopped short. You know, if you squint hard enough, your wife looks like Ladybug, A voice in the back of his mind whispered. 

“Congratulations, Red Hood, you married someone who also liked to wear black and red and hurt people who break the law.” Adrien sarcastically informed him. “And I've been her partner since we were thirteen.” He said it as if it were a fact he was holding over his head. 

He tried to process this information, but it was taking a second to load in his head. 

“You've been in Gotham for a mission this whole time?” He mumbled, trying to wrap his head around the idea that she had a whole other life outside of the one she had told him. 

“Look, Jay, I know it’s a lot to try to understand, but… If it makes you feel any better, I lied to my team just as much as I lied to you.” She confessed. 

“Yeah you did.” Adrien said under his breath. 

“Please explain.”

“When I was supposed to return to Paris and I didn’t, they needed a solid excuse for me staying. If I told them anything about you, they would have forcibly extracted me, thinking it wasn’t safe. A bad idea. I told them I was here investigating something, gave them odd weird information every once in a while, pretended I was still playing along with the whole thing.” She sighed, and Adrien made a funny yet pretty unreadable face. “Eventually, Max asked for more information, so I pretended like I was investigating you. From a distance.” Jason snorted. 

That would be a total Marinette thing to do, now that he thought about it. 

“Tell them anything good?” He resisted the urge to say something that would ruin the moment they were having. 

“A lot.” She made a guilty face again, “I might have said that the basis of my investigation was trying to figure out about… When you disappeared, and all the…” She left the rest of that sentence unsaid. He nodded, understandingly. “Yeah.”

“Yeah. No, that was… actually pretty smart.” He agreed with her. She gave a small smile. “Pretending to be secretly investigating the person you live with as a cover is something I’ll have to add to Bruce’s little playbook, it’s much easier to fake evidence on people you know rather than you don’t.” 

“Thanks, Jay.” She walked over from where she had been guiltily trying to keep her distance, and wrapped him up in a tight hug. “Are you mad at me?” He thought about that for a second. 

“Seeing who you are now? No, not really.” He shrugged. “You had your reasons to be scared seeing who I’m connected to, and I’m not gonna tell you your feelings were wrong. That would be unfair.” She sniffled, and then started to cry. “But that still doesn’t really explain why Blondie here is in my living room.”

“Oh, I, uh, I can make my way out now.” Adien squirmed uncomfortably, seeing the mood shift to one he figured he wasn’t welcome in for real this time, and made his way back to go out the way he came in. 

“Wait, Adrien, why are you here?” Marinette realised Jason was right, and turned her head away from him to squint at her partner. 

“Oh, well, you see since we, on our end, thought you were for some reason stalking the person you happened to not actually be looking into and turned out to actually be living with, I was sent to come and make sure you weren’t getting too close and wound up getting murdered on accident.” He confessed. “ I thought that with your fewer and fewer updates, you were getting into trouble. But you know, since you’ve turned out to be married to a fake mark this whole time, I don’t think a forced emergency extraction would actually be all that welcome.” Jason snorted. 

“Try and take her away, I dare you.” It was a joke, but he sounded so serious Adrien actually fidgeted with discomfort. 

“I don’t think I do.” He mumbled, and sat on the windowsill of the window he was desperately trying to leave through. “But, do I have permission to tell everyone else about this? The fact you’ve been lying, I mean? I think Alya will be mad confused and also just regular mad if she thinks I abandoned you in a fight, or something.” Marinette nodded. 

“You get to ease hyer wrath before I eventually come back, yes please.” She snorted, and Adrien gave her one last awkward wave goodbye before a green glow came from the fire escape and AstroCat zoomed off into the night. 

There was silence for a moment, the two just taking a moment to let everything sink in, and mellow a bit before they decided what to do next. 

“You know, I technically never told an un-truth, I just left out an insane amount of truth that was not deemed necessary,” She said into his shoulder that she was leaning on. He snorted. 

“Yeah, I know.” He shifted so he could pick her up and press his forehead against hers. “You want to know what all of this is really making me think about?” 

“Yes.” She said, earnestly, but not moving away from him. 

“It makes me think I want to marry you all over again.” She blinked, and then slowly grinned. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.” He continued, a bit over-excited. “And you can invite all your real friends, who are probably very upset they didn’t know about the first one, and I can meet all your childhood friends, and all your teammates, and then your parents get to finally be allowed to talk about me to all your friends, and then-” She threw her head back laughing, and then just smiled at him as he listed all the reasons they should have a second ceremony. But then she got nervous all over again. 

“You’re thinking about what Bruce is gonna do when he finds out, aren’t you?” He asked, quietly. She nodded. “You know, in all honesty, I would be much more terrified of Dick right now over Bruce.” He shrugged. 

“What? Why?” Marinette narrowed her eyes slightly. 

“Seriously? You’ve had a magical girl transformation sequence this whole time, and you think Dick won’t lose his goddamn mind you’ve been hiding your magical-girl stuff from him?” She gave a small laugh, knowing he was a little bit right. “And Tim, ugh, don’t even get me started on Replacement. He’ll be pissed when he finds out he missed something right under his nose, ranting about how he should have figured it out years ago, and never did.”

“Yeah, he might get a little pissy, but-”

“And Damian might try and force you to spar him now that he knows you’re ca[able of fighting. And Cass might cry a little, but if we’re being honest here she probably knew all along.” Marinette cracked a smile at that. “And best case scenario, Bruce just sighs and says he owes Diana ten bucks.”

He had totally been joking. 

But all of his predictions were spot-on (pun intended). 

Even Bruce’s. 

Who learned she was Ladybug, and immediately got pissed he now owed Diana ten bucks for mis-identifying her true civilian identity.

Chapter Text

A cracking, tired, voice started singing in the pitch black of the cold cement room, 

“I just took a DNA test, turns out, I’m a hundred percent~ that bitch-” A muffled crack cut him off. “LB, what the hell?” He sighed. 

“Sorry, Cara.” She mumbled, and it went back to being completely silent. 

Nightwing frowned. 

Did they not know he was here. 

The voice, 'Cara' apparently, kept mumbling, 

“Even when I’m crying crazy, yeah I got boy problems that’s the human in me.”

“You are literally straight.” ‘LB’ spoke up again. 

“As far as you know.” Cara pointed out. A small silence followed. 

“Dude, are you bi?”

“No, you were right, I’m straight.” He let out a soft giggle, and LB snorted. 

Nightwing shook his head silently, and tried to use their talking as an excuse to try and ‘echo-locate’ his way around the room.

“Bling bling then I solve them, that’s the goddess in me-”

“You coulda had a batch bitch.” LB joined in the singing. 

“Non-Committal.” Cara’s voice picked up sound slightly. 

“Helped you with your career-”

“Just a little!” As they picked their voices up a little bit more, he finally made the connection in the back of his mind. 

Cara. LB. Carapace and Ladybug. 

He was trapped in a damn dungeon with Carapace and Ladybug. 

This was… not the worst his weekend could have gone. 

“Ya supposed to hold me down, butcha-” 

“He’s gone.” Ladybug interrupted, and he heard them shuffled to their feet. 

A slight glowing washed over them, and he could see for only a moment. 

“Did you see that too?” Ladybug whispered. 

“Hey, mister man?” Carapace ignored her in favor of yelling. 

Dick contemplated answering. 

“Yes?” He decided on answering. 

“How the hell did you get in here?” There was a pause. 

“You’re guess is as good as mine.” He finally offered. 

“Huh.” Ladybug mumbled, and he heard footsteps, they moved his way. “One can assume you can’t see in the dark as I can?”

“You can see?”

“Clear as day, now that I’ve used up a power-enhancer.” She started to glow, and he noticed her suit looked a little abnormal. The bruise on his face started to heal, and she held a hand out to him. 

“Man, my wife is gonna be mad pissed if we’re late busting out of here.” Carapace sighed. Ladybug let out a short laugh. 

“Come on.” She extended a hand down to him. “You don’t look too terribly sketchy. Let’s get the hell out of this prison.”

Chapter Text

“A brother of mine tried to race a panther once.” Officer Dupain-Cheng snorted as she started to stick ehr gear away in her locker. 

“Huh. Is that the same brother that tried to fight you for saying Chat Noir was cooler than Ladybug?” One of the other officers asked. She shook her head.

“Nah, different brother.” She had recently transferred to the GCPD from Paris for a special joint project she was working on. 

“The one who took your side in the argument that Chat Noir was cooler?”

“Yet a different one.”

“Oh, then it’s the one who built a functioning AI, then?”

“Nah different brother.” She smirked at the box she was messing with. 

“The one that was on TV? As a DJ?” Another officer asked, now very confused. 

“Nah. Still a different one.” There was a silence that followed. They started to ask more questions, but she walked out before she could answer them. 

“Alright. That has to be a new sibling.” Someone pointed out when the coast was clear of Marinette. 

“Are we gonna pull out the old Grayson chart? From when we used to bet on how many siblings he had?” A detective was already on it. 

“I’m grabbing the chart now.”

Chapter Text

Bruce sighed as he walked into his livingroom to find all of his kids playing a video game he had never seen before. 

Dick was in town for a case that had led him back to Gotham, Jason was around to visit Alfred and Alfred only, Tim was in the manor for the weekend while he was moving from one apartment to another, Duke was there again for a few months as he figured some things out, and Damian… well, Damian just lived there. 

He made his way from the doorway to the other end of 

“Evening, Jason. Good afternoon, Dick. Lovely to see you as always, Tim. Greetings, Damian.” He said as he walked past them all, sitting in order. “And-” He stopped short, realising he counted more people than he should have. 

He frowned down at a boy who seemed to blend in with the rest of them, black hair blue eyes and all, but stuck out enough because he was actually smiling un-menacingly. 

“And who might you be?” He asked, but the boy was staring at the TV screen, determined to win. A pair of sunglasses rested upside down on his head, and he had pierced ears. 

He spoke in a thick yet unplaceable accent,

“I am Marionetto. But everyone either calls me Mars or Netto.” He answered, his voice a little high-pitched for his age. 

“Huh. Well, it’s wonderful to meet you, Mr. Marionetto. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone with that name before.” He gave Duke a nod as a greeting, and Mars kept talking as he played. 

“You have never heard it because my Nonna Gina was convinced I was going to be a girl, and tried to name me Marinetta, but then it turned out I was not a girl, but she was already attached to the name, so she mashed up the names Marinette and Manetto to make Marionetto.” He informed him excitedly, and Bruce noticed he was winning. It wasn’t very difficult to figure out, he was the only one grinning while the other players were scowling from getting their asses handed to them by this young man. 

“Well, that certainly is quite the story you got there-” He stopped, realising what the kid had said. 

His Nonna Gina. 

Alfred had an old friend named Gina, from italy. The names the kid had mentioned were certainly italian, but the accent threw him off a bit. “Say, Marionetto, are you winning?” He tried to play off his hesitation. 

“Oui!” He answered cheerfully. French… hadn’t Gina been married to a french man, for a time? “I am kicking Jason's butt!” But there was a hint of italian in the accent as he failed to pronounce the soft ‘i’, a common italian trait. 

“Huh. People hardly ever manage to beat them in a game, I am quite impressed.” Bruce complimented him for real. 

“Thank you, but I have a good practice. I used to play competitive, when I lived in Paris.” The match ended, and Marionetto did a little victory shimmy. 

“You used to live in Paris?” 

“I did! I miss it very much, especially Chat Noir, I miss him the most, but I think travelling with my Nonna is very fun too!” He seems to radiate positive energy to the point it was almost suffocating.

“Damn you, Mars.” Dick sighed as he pulled out his wallet and handed the youngest a five dollar bill. “Remind me to stop making bets with you.”

“You’ve made more than one?”

“Netto bet him ten bucks he couldn’t do a move that Beetle Boy could, and Dick was sorely mistaken thinking that he could. He could not. And then Dick said he also thought Mars couldn’t do it either, and then he proceeded to replicate it perfectly. Netto now has thirty dollars in Grayson Money.” Duke brought him up to speed. 

Ok, this little french-italian boy was starting to scare him a bit. Smarter and more agile than his sons? A bit suspicious, if you asked him. But no one did. 

“Master Bruce.” Alfred and Gina appeared in the doorway. Ah, finally, he might get some answers here. “I’m sure you remember my good friend Gina. She was travelling with her grandson, Master Dupain-Cheng here-” Mars made a sour face at the name, probably the formality of it, “But needs to attend to some urgent business on her own, and cannot take Master Dupain-Cheng with her. She has requested his allowance to stay here until another adult may come and take care of him in the meantime.”

“I believe Miss Penny Rolling will be available sometime next week to come and take him, but out schedules don’t exactly line up so well.” Gina Dupain made an apologetic face at him, and Bruce played it off. 

“Of course he is welcome to stay here, he may stay as long as necessary.” He went to ask why he could not simply return home, but figured he should ask later. Maybe when the boy wasn’t around. 

“Nonna, I thought taking me out of Paris was supposed to be for the purpose of helping me fix the bad stuff in my head. I don’t think leaving me with strangers neither of us know qualifies as helping me in any way.” The boy rattled off in rapid-fire italian. 

Ok, maybe he wouldn’t have to ask as many questions as he thought he would have to. 

“Don’t be silly, my little Marionetto. You know you can’t come with me to this place, it is the safest option we have.” She shot back. Marionetto frowned, but relented. 

“D’accord.” He sighed, and looked back at the TV screen. 

Bruce noticed Damian looking at the teen, who seemed to be about two years his senior, in a curious way. 

“Dupain-Cheng.” He snapped, but not in a mean way. The sad older teen raised an eyebrow at him. “Would you like to hear more of my Robin stories?” 

Oh my god, what the fuck do I see in front of me. Is that Damian trying to comfort someone by telling them silly stories?

“Oui, please do.” A small smile tugged at Marionetto’s mouth, and Damian got an almost proud-of-himself look as he started to tell him about the time he ‘totally saw Robin do a backflip off a moving vehicle downtown once’ and the story of how that happened.

Holy shit that IS Damian trying to cheer someone up with Robin stories. He was proud of how far the youngest son had come. 

“I once saw Nightwing push Red Hood off the top of the Wayne tower, that was pretty funny.” Tim added when Damian was done. 

“I think I watched Red Robin get smacked upside the head with a lawn chair by an old lady once.” Jason smirked slightly. Marionetto missed the look that was shot at him by Tim.

“I saw Black Bat sneak up on a guy talking to himself and talk back to him right before punching him in the face. That was funny.” Dick offered. 

Pretty soon, Marionetto was laughing at them all, and sharing stories of his own. 

“Gavroche blasted himself in the face with his own magic beams once.” “Kid Mime one hit Beetle Boy in the back of the head with an invisible hammer after forgetting to tell him where it was, his face was priceless.” “Last year when I was in New York, Chat Noir forgot Sparrow couldn’t actually fly and pushed him off of a huge tour bus going fifty down the street. That was my favorite memory of the whole trip.” 

By the second week, the boy had finally gotten Bruce to call him Mars. Too bad it was  a day before Penny and Jagged came to pick him up. 

“You can come back anytime you want, kid, ok?” Bruce gave him a paton the head, and he grinned. “We’ll be here. Or, someone will be, anyway.”

“Ok! Thank you, Mr. Bruce!” Mars wiggled with nerves. 

“All set to go, Little Rock and Roller?” Jagged helped him with his backpack. 

“I’m all good, Uncle Jag.” They were almost out the door, when Mars turned back around, and said in perfect arabic, 

“Oh, and Dami? You might want to stop being so proud of the fact you are Robin. Your pride is so painfully obvious and it’s gonna get you into trouble some day.” The entire family froze at his comment. “Maybe some day you’ll get as good at hiding a secret as me. Or maybe you won’t. Who knows.” He winked, and shut the door. 

“I’m sorry, what did that kid just say?” Jason was the first to say something.

Chapter Text

“I will utterly destroy you.” Marinette glared at Damian as her ruined homework she was supposed to be handing it sat demolished in her hands. 

“Destroy, my ass.” He hissed back, under his breath.

“I’ll do that too.” She shot back, unblinkingly. He started to choke on his water that he had mistakenly been beginning to drink. She continued to stare at him aggressively as he fell out of his chair onto the floor, unable to regain his posture. 

She had done it. 

She had rendered the ever-poised asshole useless.

Jason owed her five bucks for that.

Chapter Text

“Hey, Aunt Marinette?” Dick frowned from where he was sitting at the bat-computer. “Can I ask you something?”

She had her feet kicked up on a toolbench Bruce used for fixing gear, and had her nose in her sketchbook. 

“Your twenty-five, Dick.” She snorted, and he felt the sarcasm dripping off her tone. “I think I’ve lost count of how many questions you’ve asked me.” He took that as an invitation to go ahead. 

“On a scale of one to ten, how weird was it when I first started calling you my aunt?” He asked out of nowhere, and she paused her sketching. 

“What prompted that question?” She frowned over the top of her book at him. 

“Well, I’ve just… been thinking about how I call Jason my brother but Jason refuses to see Bruce as a father figure, but I also kinda don’t really see him as a real dad just like a stand-in dad, and then there’s the whole thing with Tim’s dad still being alive before he became Robin, and technically Manon isn’t your daughter but I call her my cousin since she acts like your daughter, and then-” 

“Dick.” She cut him off sharply. “You’re starting to sound like me. Stop.” She stated bluntly, but he sensed the joke that was hidden in it. 

“Ok.” He sighed. She shifted, so her book was lying on the table and he could see a drawing with his own logo being subtly twisted around for a zip-up hoodie design. 

“Everyone in this family has a weird story as to how they ended up in this house in the first place.” She started. “Well, everyone except for my idiot brother who was born here.” She waved a hand. “But he doesn’t count. He’s Batman, and that makes up for the rest of the weirdness he’s catching up on.” Dick snorted at her. “But even I’m not supposed to be here.” She got a serious expression, and frowned at the table. “My parents… are alive. They own a bakery in Paris. But I haven’t talked with them in nearly forty years. Sure, I check back up on them every once in a while, my father is getting old and needs to hire-on help, but they’re ok. They’re…. Completely normal.”

She never talked about her past. 

Dick always assumed it was too tragic to mention. But then he met people who came from exploded plants, or were the last of their kind, or just had some really fucked up shit, and she always… looked guilty. 

Finally, after all these years, a thought finally occurred to him: Maybe she felt guilty because her story wasn’t as sad as everyone else’s. Maybe she was just regular-sad. 

“But I’ve told you the story of the man in the crosswalk a hundred times, yes?” He nodded. 

“You saved a guy in the street as some sort of test and as a reward he cursed you with powers?”

“Blessed.” She gave him an amused look. “But cursed works too. Because a stupid girl transferred into my class in middle school, and… and she was a meta.” He knew his aunt Marinette had a soft spot for meta’s. But he never knew why. “She had manipulation powers, she could lie ehr way through any sort of mess. Almost like Number Three, from the umbrella academy.” Huh. “She decided she didn’t like me, and she targeted me. She made everyone I ever thought liked me turn against me. Hate me. Exile me. Make me some sort of social pariah in the entire city of Paris, and then somehow the world after I got into fashion.” So that was the reason for her ever growing list of secret identities. Hm.

“And then what?” He prompted after she stopped. 

“And then my parents decided it would be best to send me away.” She mumbled. “My grandmother loved to travel the world in her old age, she took me on adventures with her. I travelled the world for two years, learning a bunch of random shit, and… trying to fight Hawkmoth at the same time.” She got a distant look in her eyes. “And then we came here. So my Nonna could reconnect with Alfred for a little bit. That was when I met Bruce.” She leaned back in her chair, and stared up at the ceiling. “He was finally the weird little brother I always wanted. He was so cool, teaching me all kinds of odd rich-people-things.” She snorted, but didn’t look at him. “And then my grandmother had to leave suddenly. She had an… issue, and apparently I couldn’t go with her.” So this was his aunt’s tragic backstory. Or a part of it, anyway. 

“What kind of emergency was it?”

“I never found out. She said she would be gone a week at most, and then come back for me to take me home.” She shook her head. “Thirty-some-odd years later, she hasn’t come back for me yet.” Marinette let out a painful laugh, like it wasn’t funny but she still wanted to laugh. 

Dick nodded slowly, seeing where she was going. 

“My point is, Dickie, that sometimes… sometimes family is two parents who have a bunch of kids who lead completely normal lives, and sometimes a family is a kid who was created in a test-tube, a runaway who blackmailed you into becoming a family member, a kid yanked off the street without warning, an dancing assassin, and a witness-protection-turned-sidekick.” She shrugged. “Sometimes, family may be odd, but that does not change the fact that it is a family whether they like it or not.” He let that sink in. 

“Thanks, Auntie.” he said before getting up to talk out. 

He almost made it to the door when he heard her mumble, 

“You know, I almost wonder if Nonna was actually a stork who left me on the wrong doorstep and corrected her mistake seventeen years too late.” He suppressed the urge to laugh, and shut the batcave-door behind him.

Chapter Text

Nova sighed as he facepalmed at the girl in red’s grinning. 

“No, please, LB, not again.” He sighed. 

Robin (Tim Drake) looked back and forth between the girl on his right and the boy across the street, confused that they already knew each other. 

But Ladybug got an awful grin on her face as she started to sing in the rhythm of the teenage mutant ninja turtle theme song, 

“It’s mo-ther fuck-ing bucket boy, It’s mo-ther fuck-ing bucket boy, It’s mo-ther fuck-ing bucket boy, fucker in a bucket hat!” She started to dance, waving her hands around like jazz hands. 

Robin could only stare. 

Nova looked to be about on the verge of tears.

“Stop calling me that!”

“Oh please, I know you secretly love the theme song I made up for you! It’s your fault, anyway, you were pissy about me having one and you not, it was only fair I made you a song!”

“You ripped off the teenage mutant ninja turtles!”

“Yeah, so?”

“I’m sorry, you know each other?” He finally interjected after Ladybug slowled her dancing. 

“Yeah.” Nova deadpanned. “She saved new york from the Leaper a while back, and dragged his ass back to a french prison.” Ladybug ignored his snark and kept grinning whilst looking like a fool. 

“And you will forever be in my debt.” She bowed dramatically. 

“Thanks.” Nova sneered at her, but Tim could tell his heart wasn’t really in it. “Good one.”

“I certainly thought so.” She rigged herself. “And you getting thrown through that window may have been part of my plan, but please-” She waved a hand around, “You were hardly the worst off and the lucky charm saved your ass in the end.”

Robin blinked in confusion. Again.

Chapter Text

“You are ridiculous.” Marinette rolled her eyes and laughed at the same time as Jason held the door open for her. She walked into the milkshake shop, but heard a very tired Tim slam into the door Jason had clearly not continued to hold open for him. She rolled her eyes a second time, and turned around to open the door for the very tired Tim. 

“We could have left him out there, you know.” JAson sat down next to her at a booth table.

“No, we couldn’t have.” She sighed. “Bruce would have been pissy for a week if he found out.” He sorted at her response. 

“Let him be.”

When the milkshakes came, she got lost in thought. 

She was abruptly brought out of her train of thought after the windows exploded. 

Marinette started to panic, not because she thought she was going to die, but because she had no idea how to fight whoever exploded the window and then explain it away to Jason and Tim. 

‘Oh, yeah, I kinda Just So Happen™ to be very good at fighting people, especially Techno Pirate, it’s no biggie don’t worry about it’ Didn’t seem like an appropriate response. 

Jason was torn between watching Marinette’s rection and watching the fight to keep her safe. He somehow managed to do both at once. 

He noticed she started to panic at first, but then relaxed when Knightowl and Uncanny Valley showed up to take him down. Huh. So she has a lot of faith, presumably gained trust, in those two in particular. Interesting. 

But then he noticed the curious look, mixed with dare he say mild amusement as she focused on Knightowl. 

But Jason didn’t question it. Not right then, at least. 

The fight was over in a matter of minutes, and when the tall hero wasn’t busy, Marinette practically sauntered up to them. 

“Hey there, big bird.” She snickered, and Knightowl turned their unreadable face down towards her. Jason cringed internally, and Tim just looked flabbergasted. “Baby Wing finally get that promotion they wanted?” The masked hero leaned down to Marinette’s level, and had Jason been able to see through the solid helmet he would have guessed they were scowling. 

“I am this close to stabbing you.” The electronic voice modifier growled out as the owner of the voice held two hands very close together. Jason almost intervened until marinette said, 

“You know, you said that last time too. And the time before that.” Oh wow. So she really did know them personally. “And yet, no matter how many times I piss you off, those hands never get any closer together whenever you say that to me.” She leaned dramatically against the table Knightowl was standing next to. 

“Funny.” The voice snapped again, “They’re getting closer in my mind.” Marinette just laughed before leaning closer and saying something much quieter. Knighowl nodded sharply, and the two went their separate ways, Marinette skipping back over to the people she came in with. 

“You know the person under there, don’t you.” Tim blurted out. Marinette just shrugged. 

“Maybe I know, maybe I  don’t.” She waved him off. “Maybe I;ve known for a very long time, and maybe I haven’t. That’s not your problem to worry about.”

“Maybe you don’t think it’s something I shouldn’t worry about, but with you I worry about everything.” Jason threw an arm over her shoulder, and she sighed. 

“We’re friends.” She confessed, a little bit. “I met Sparrow when we were both fourteen, and my friend accidentally killed her friend and I saved her friend. Absolute hatred turned to begrudging mutual existence and in a dire time of tragedy turned into newfound respect and then eventually friends. Kind of a long story, but that’s the breakdown, I guess.”

“Huh.” They walked out the door, processing this new information. 

“Maybe you’ll get the whole story some day, I’m sure Uncanny would love to tell you how she survived a magic cataclysm to the face, but that's really not my place to say.”

Chapter Text

“Come on, it’s a homecoming parade.” Jon tugged Marinette down the hill to the main street in Smallville. 

“They throw candy at these things, right?” She spoke with an accent, but not one that was so thick she wasn’t understandable. “I’m only here for the candy. And the pretty streamers.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” He gave her a gentle whack, and she feigned great offense as she threw herself down the hill. 

“Oh how I have been injured!” She fake-wailed, grinning up at him. 

“You are ridiculous.” He jumped down the hill, and landed next to her, beginning to stretch out a blanket for them to sit on instead of the grass. 

“Let me guess, utterly ridiculous?” She waved a hand around, doing her best Chloé impression. He found it considerably less funny than she did. 

“Jon, be considerate, and help your grandmother down this hill.” Clark sighed, and Jon jumped back up to at least pretend to be a nice person. 

He sat back down next to her, and she leaned on his shoulder. 

“Explain to me again what the purpose of the homecoming parade is?” Marinette asked, and Jon complied.

Later that night, after dinner, she could hear the older people talking downstairs. 

“I don’t understand why it had to be a fancy city girl.” One of the older men complained. 

“I think she’s just lovely. You don’t like her because you think she’s too pretty.” Ma Kent snapped back. Marinette smiled to herself, sadly, from where she sat eavesdropping from the stairs. 

“I think she’s gonna use those looks of hers to get into his head and try and change around his way of thinking so that-”

“Clive, you sound fucking ridiculous.” Clark interrupted him. “All of you sound ridiculous. You just think that because she’s attractive, has an accent, and grew up in a foreign city she’s gonna flip this own upside down. You all sound stupid. She's just as normal as the rest of us.” Fat lie and you know it, Mr. Kent. But thanks anyway.

“It is a possibility.” One woman piped up. “I’ve heard what those foerign cities do to their kids, maybe you ought to-”

“Or maybe you’re just racist.” Lois deadpanned. Marinette tried not to choke too loud, they would know she was listening. Yeah, go Lois. She cheered in her head. “And for fucks sake, I grew up an army brat in Metropolis, and you all like me just fine.” There was a pause. 

They jumped on that, going off all the reasons these old people didn’t like her and the Kents trying and failing to point out how wrong they were. 

Eventually Marinette got up from where she sat on the stairs, and marched out the front door, truck keys in hand. But instead of climbing into the driver's seat despite holding the keys, she picked the passenger seat. 

“Get out here.” She grumbled, and a few moments later Jon in a red hoodie popped up in the driver's side window. 

“Sorry it took me so long, I couldn’t find my pants.” He stared at her, cringing, across the bench seats in the ancient truck. 

She just blinked slowly before bursting into laughter. 

“What? What’s so funny?” He couldn't help but smile at her laughter, even if he didn;t know why exactly she was laughing. 

“Just take me somewhere.” She shook her head, and looked out the window as he threw it into reverse, and they took off out of the driveway. 

She noticed the curious faces in the window, but ignored them. 

“Gonna tell me what was so funny now?” He pulled onto a dirt road, and drove… off of it. Into a large flat field. 

“I think I’ve told you before… I grew up going to private school.”

“Yeah, I recall. You told me all about your... adventures with those kids.” He shrugged, and she unbuckled as he stopped the truck in the middle of the field. She twisted herself so she sat cross-legged on the wide bench seats. 

“It’s funny to me how… back then, I wasn’t anything nice. I was just the bakers kid, I wasn’t.. I didn’t act rich enough for the kids I went to school with. I wasn’t fancy enough for Gabriel when I hung out with his son.” She shook her head in disappointment. “And now I’m here, and they all think I’m too nice for you.”

“Yeah, well, they’re stupid.” He snarked. He had gotten good at snarking after being friends with Damian for ten years. 

“Nah, let me finish.” He shut the truck off, set the keys on the dashboard, and scoot closer to her. “It’s funny to me, how wildy my life changed after…” 

“That day?” She shook her head again. 

“After you.” He jammed his hands in his hoodie. “I went from being that one problematic kid in class, the one who had the least and was worth nothing, and then I met you, and you… think I’m so much cooler than I really am.”

“You are very cool.” He insisted, frowning at her. She smirked slightly, and reached up to play with the curly hair that was falling out the front of his hood. 

“Thank, Babe.” She gave him a small smile. “And you know what? I think you’re cool too. But…” She sighed. “That doesn’t change the fact that… In Paris I’m a few tax brackets too low to be good enough, and here a few too many high. There’s no winning, at least not with the people I give a shit about.” Jon inspected her face though her fingers as they ran through his hair. She accidently knocked his hood off as she picked at his head, but he didn’t really care. 

“Do you give a shit about me?” He tried. She snorted. 

“Obviously, that’s why I’m here.” She responded in confusion. 

“Then give a shit about me saying they don’t matter.” She closed her eyes, knowing he was right but still having a hard time accepting it. “They’re just old people. They want something to gossip about all the time, that’s the only way they feel validated in their useless age and mind.” She choked at his response, wondering if it would be awful of her to laugh at that or not. 

“Jon!”

“What?” He defended himself. “It’s true! They’re gonna find a way to talk shit about you no matter what you or I do, it’s in their nature.” She threw her head back laughing, and he pulled her closer to himself. She uncrossed her legs and he moved her so she was sitting on his lap. “You know I’m right.”

“That doesn’t make it less mean.”

“They were mean to you, I get to be mean to them.” He insisted. Marinette just snorted at him. 

“Whatever.” She sighed, in a vain attempt to stay mad. But she always found it hard to stay mad whenever he was so close. 

“You know, speaking of Paris,” He kissed her cheek, and she frowned.

“We weren’t?”

“Speaking of Paris,” He repeated, kissing ehr other cheek, “I did a project on that city in middle school.”

“Oh?” That was news to her. 

“Yup.” A forehead kiss. “It was all about how the City of Lights-” A nose kiss interrupted the sentence, “-Was taking action on light pollution.” Her chin was next. “And one of the facts I included was that a large percentage of people who grew up in cities-” He kissed the bone under her eye. “-Never get to see the stars at night.” She waited for him to finish the thought, but he never did. Instead, he moved her off of him, and opened the door to climb out. “Come on.”

“Why?”

“You’re gonna see the stars.” He said, as if it were obvious. She gave him a quizzical look as she jumped out the door. 

“But we have stars in Paris. You have seen them.” She pointed out. 

“Nah.” He jumped into the truck bed, and she leapt in after him. “You have, like, an eight of the amount of stars that qualify as a starry night.” He popped open a tool box to reveal not tools but a large pile of blankets and a huge comforter. 

She looked up at the sky, still slightly blue in hugh, and frowned as Jon spread out blankets. 

“I don’t see any?”

“That’s because it’s still only, like, nine. The stars don’t come out until about ten, maybe. It’s Late August, the sun is still up pretty late.” 

“Huh.” She mumbled. 

"But fortunately, I planned for this.” He snapped his fingers, and she was yet again confused. 

“You were planning on old people being racist and hurting my feelings?”

“No, god, no.” He tried not to laugh at her. “I was planning on showing you the stars, just not after you dramatically threw yourself out the door. That was not planned in the slightest.” She let the comment slide. 

“So what did you prepare for?”

“Snacks!” He had opened up another compartment in the toolbox, and pulled out a box of snacks. “So many snacks! In case, you know, you didn’t like the snacks.” She grinned, and grabbed a bag of pretzels from his bucket of snacks. 

“I like your snacks.” She confirmed, smiling as she munched away on the pretzels. “You have some nice snacks, and- ooh, are those oreo’s?” The pretzels were ditched for cookies. “I love oreo’s.”

“I know what you love.” He said, cheekily. 

“Oh really?” She responded with a matching attitude. “Tell me what I love, then.”

“Me, cookies, cookies, macarons, me, cookies, cake, cookies, me again.” He held up a hand and pretended to tick them off like a list he was very seriously going down.

She laughed, losing her balance, and crashing into him. 

They stayed there, laying in the cold back of the truck over fleece blankets under a giant comforter, and talking about the most random of topics. Everything from the necessity of ketchup on tater tots to the climbability of the steel beams that made up the Eiffel Tower. 

Eventually, Marinette noticed the sky had gone dark when she struggled to see his face still. She finally looked up, and saw the sky above her. 

The millions of stars twinkled like a blanket of shining silver over them, and she almost cried. 

This was nothing like she had ever seen in Paris. Maybe the brightest of them all she had seen, shining through the smog, but this was absolutely spectacular. She could see millions upon millions of little tiny twinkling stars, and hundreds of brightly shining ones.

And to think she had been up there, years ago. Floating among those very same stars. 

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” She put her head back down on his chest, and thought for a second. 

“What do you remember me telling you about the Startrain incident?”

Chapter Text

He could sense her discomfort from a mile away. But he wasn’t actually a mile away, he was standing right next to her. 

“Oh, of course, with my long-term absence a few things got out of disarray but now that I’m back, we’re working the issues out.” Gabriel waved a hand dismissively, and Marinette almost flinched. Jason instinctively pulled her closer. 

“Interesting.” She almost whispered. “And what kinds of issues would those be?” Gabriel frowned down at her. 

“The natural ones, of course.” A blow-off. “I would love to go in-depth but we really must be going.” He moved away, Emilie at his side. 

Marinete stared at the back of his head with a murderous glare and yet insane amounts of fear. 

“Hey, Emmie, are you ok?” Jason whispered in her ear. 

“Mh.” She waited until they were completely gone, and then pulled him to the side. And then to the back of the room. And then out a door. 

“Hey.” He tugged on her arm slightly, and she dropped her pace to hang back for him. “Please tell me what’s going on?” She blinked, and bit her lip. 

“Not in front of people.” Mairnette shook her head, and found her way outside. She climbed into the driver's seat of her car, and grabbed the steering wheel without going anywhere. He just raised an eyebrow from the passenger seat. Then she slammed a fist into the dashboard and screamed a few words Jason would rather not repeat. 

“Hey.” He offered as soft as possible. She sniffled, and tipped her head back. 

“I can’t really… You’re gonna have to trust me a lot on this one, ok?” Tears started to fall, and she just kept gripping the wheel to hold herself steady. “And I don’t really want to tell you how I know, but that man was not Gabriel Agreste.”

Ok, but… it had been. Jason had met the awful man before, and that was definitely him. He wondered if his girlfriend was slowly going crazy. 

“Alright… So you’re saying he’s an imposter?” She cringed slightly. 

“Either he’s an imposter… or a lot less dead than he was six months ago.” She squeezed her eyes shut again, and he used his sleeve to try and get some of the tears off of her face.

“I thought he just went missing?”

“That’s the official story.” She opened her eyes again, and grabbed a box of tissues from some hole in the dashboard. 

“The official story? What the hell does that mean?”

“I don’t… I don’t have time for this.” She shook her head, and started the engine. “I have to find out who the hell is posing as the Agreste’s and what the hell they want.”

She threw the vehicle into reverse, and took off out of the parking lot. 

“Ok, we have a few options here.” She mumbled to herself. “One is alien shapeshifters, that seems the most obvious. Two is someone stole the peacock miraculous again and created senti-monsters that are Agreste-look-alikes.” He could only stare in mild confusion as she mused to herself. “Three is plastic surgery, but he looked so damn similar to the real one I’m putting that one on the backburner. Four is… someone thinks Gabriel is still alive, like the plan said to, and that he thinks imitating him will force him out of hiding. Five is someone is just messing with me to be pissy.” 

Ok, she had officially lost it. 

“How are you even sure they didn’t fake their death? I mean, I could help you here, I just really need to know the whole story, because if they're supposed to be dead, then how on earth did-” She slammed on the brakes as she reached a stop sign, and he almost hit the dashboard, having forgotten a seatbelt in the mess. 

“I KNOW HE’S DEAD BECAUSE I KILLED HIM, JASON, AND I’M NOT ONE FOR MAKING MISTAKES.” She snapped, and then threw a hand over her mouth. “Shit.”

Chapter Text

“Come on, try it.” Jon waved the fork in front of her face like a toddler. Marinette batted it away, and the tater tot fell on the floor. “Damnit, Emmie.” He sighed, and she rolled her eyes. 

“Maybe if you gave it to me like a normal person and not a two year old, I might actually take it.” She grumbled. 

“Funny, you certainly act like a two-year-old.” Damian said without looking up from his book over in the corner. 

No one needed to look at her to see the daggers she was glaring at him from the breakfast bar stool. 

“Yeah, and  you’re so much better mister ‘I-judge-people-like-books’.” She snapped. 

“The phrase is judging a book by it’s cover.” Jon stage-whispered to her. She smacked him upside the back of the head. He just grinned in response. 

“Fuck you.”

“No.”

“Just give me the tater tot, man.” She conceded, and he stabbed another one before dipping it in ketchup and helping it out to her like a lollipop. 

Marinette eyed the ketchup suspiciously, but tentatively at it. 

She chewed slowly, realising she had been missing out this whole time. 

“Oh my god.” She mumbled. “This is some really good shit.”

“I told you!” Jon cheered, glad he had won. 

“I mean, the ketchup, in theory, is fucking nasty, and on literally anything other than this it can burn in hell for, but… I hate to admit it, but potato and ketchup is actually kinda good.” She frowned at the marble table top. “I’m so confused, yet so… satisfied? Is that the word?”

“You sound ridiculous, Dupain-Cheng.” 

“Fuck you. It’s how I feel.”

“How you feel?” Jon tried not to laugh at her. 

“Yeah! It’s like… I feel like ‘wow this is awesome but also kinda weird and disgusting’ at the same time. You know?”

Six Months Of Plot Progression Later:

“Why do you hate me so much?!” Marinette snapped at him, soaking wet and one foot in a mud puddle. Despite the pouring rain, Damian somehow managed to remain completely dry. Not for lack of offering his umbrella to Marinette, she just for some reason refused to take it. 

“That is preposterous. I do not hate you.” He remained as blank-faced as ever as she glared up under the edge of the umbrella at him. 

“Then why are you such an asshole to me, huh?” She waved a hand around dramatically, having enough emotion for the two of them. “Why do you say shit that doesn’t make sense, like underhanded compliments or just… being straight-up mean all the time?!” he sighed, slowly. 

“Because you confuse me.” He stated simply. “You confuse me, and I don’t like it.”

“Oh really?” She crossed her arms. “What’s so confusing about me, huh? Do you not like that I put the cereal before the milk? Is that a problem to you? Is that what this whole thing is about?” She was doing her best not to just disappear and never come back, she was filled with so much rage. 

“You confuse me because being around you makes me happy.” He finally scowled at her, as a response. She froze. 

“I’m sorry, I what now?” He rolled his eyes and huffed.

“I don’t like you because you make me feel a way no one else ever has before, and it’s scary and confusing, and at the same time it’s amazing, like-” The words still were not registering in her brain. “Tater tots.” He nodded sharply, hoping she got it. 

“Huh?”

“You are my tater tots, Marinette.” It finally clicked in her head what he was trying to say. 

“Oh.”

“I feel the same way about you that you feel about tater tots.” He finally confessed it out loud. Marinette blinked slowly, her gaze seemingly looking at something behind him as she got lost in thought.  

“Oh.” She repeated again. “Ok.” 

Damian messed with the scarf and the collar of his jacket. 

“Come on. We’re late.” He gently pulled on her shoulder, and Marinette, still confused as ever, just let him. “Maybe you’ll finally let me share my umbrella, now.”

Chapter Text

Jason was having a bad fucking day. An absolutely awful day. A terribly atrocious day. 

He slammed his phone down on his coffee table and sat down on the couch, putting his head in his hand, wallowing in his misery.

His phone buzzed. 

He ignored it. 

It buzzed again, a few seconds later. 

He groaned and picked it up, a little aggressively. It was two messages from Alya. One was a picture, one was a text. He opened it, and looked at the picture. It was of Nino laying on his back on the couch, asleep, and hugging the sleeping Marinette on top of him. It was captioned, 

‘Aren’t our two little beans adorable?’

He gave it a small smile as he saved the picture to his camera roll. 

Ok, maybe his day wasn’t that terrible.

Chapter Text

Ok, so, um, I kinda owe everyone an explanation. 

I write super randomly. I upload a metric fuckton of content at once, never finish any of it, and never seem to have any real end to anything I post. 

That's because I have DID. Dissociative Identity Disorder. 

I have several different people in my head, they take over randomly, and they all have their own names. 

More than that, they all have their own lives. Likes, dislikes, interests, hobbies. They kind of are their own people. 

I'm so random because only one of these people likes fan fiction. Most of them like stories, but only one of them writes and posts. 

I apologize that these are so random, but my excuse is that I'm only posting when that one alter is in charge of the body and what it's doing. 

One day one of these alters may up and delete the whole account if they decide it's necessary, and the alter who created it will be absolutely livid lmao, but the one who delete's it won't be the one who created it. 

And one day one of the other alters may delete a work if they think the dedication to it is taking too much space in my head, and I can't control that. 

These people in my head, they exist to decide what's right and wrong, and quite often they disagree. 

I'm sorry this is so weird, you don't really have to understand it, this is just me giving an explantation as to why I seem to disappear so often. And why when I come back, I come back and post things all at once. 

My bad. 

Sincerely, someone who is definitely not named Jae lmao. 

Chapter Text

I had an idea, but no motivation to give it plot and/or dialog so here goes,

Magic-less AU where Marinette is called the Ladybug because she actually has bug-based powers. 

She and her cousin Bridgette were visiting Star City the night the Particle Accelerator went off, and she had left the window to the kitchen open, and she got blasten while cutting up jalepeños and onions, having a lot of sulfuric acid and other chemicals on her skin and in her system when the blast hit. Because of this, she has powers to turn the air around her toxic with chemicals found in spicy plants, unlike The Mist (Kyle Nimbus) who can turn his body into gas. 

Because Ladybugs can secrete deadly pheromones from their joints, and Marinette can summon deadly poison gas, she becomes The Ladybug after returning to Paris. 

Her partner, Chat Noir, is an assassin trained from birth by his billionaire father, to be a living deadly weapon. Perfect son by day, perfect soldier by night. They work together to stop The Butterfly, a deadly biochemist trying to develop small deadly bugs, mostly butterflies, and uses these bugs for bio terrorism and attacking people from a distance with these programmable tiny bugs.

Chapter Text

It was common knowledge that the only people who gave a fuck about not letting other house’s into their common rooms was Gryffindor, which was why Jason was completely unsruprised to walk into the ravenclaw common room and find a miserable looking slytherin girl sitting next Tim as he poured over a notebook, an exrtemely focused look on his face. 

“Uh, Marinette, right?” She looked up at him, and wiped tears off her face. 

“Yeah.” Her voice cracked, but she tried to put on a brave face for him. It was almost adorable, but he was kinda hoping to get some work done. That wouldn;t be very easy with the sound of crying in the background. 

“What’s up?” He offered. The faster he could get this over with, the faster he could get to working on his project. 

“Adrien broke up with me.” She sniffled, and he realised this was not going to be as easy as he thought it was going to be. 

“Oh. Sorry.” But then she peered to look over Tim’s shoulder as he paused on a page. 

“Ah ha!” He yelled, and stood up from the couch. 

“What?” Marinette got a faint smile on her face, but it quickly disappeared. 

“I found my page on him.”

“Your page?”

“I’ve got his bank account, social security, entire background information from both the ministry of magic, and the pentagon, his tax return information, and… uh, let’s see…”

“What about his, you know, current information? I’m not sure how much damage I can do with his tax returns as a student, but if you’ve got something a bit more relevant…” She looked at the page, frowning, and Tim flipped the page. It was an enchanted book, able to hold a lot more information than it looked like it could. Like five pages per page. 

Jason knew that. He knew that very well. Tim could do an insane amount of damage with that notebook, and he had before. 

“Alright, I’ve got all of his passwords to his netflix, hulu, amazon prime, tumblr-”

“Amazon prime.” She stated firmly. Tim blinked, and then grinned. “And if you’ve got his bank accounts, I’m assuming you’ve got his credit card info?”

“Oh hell yeah.”

It was also common knowledge that Amazon Prime had a secret wizard side of it, meaning they could mail by post or by owl. 

He sighed inwardly, already seeing that mountain of detentions these two kids were gonna get from whatever they were about to do. 

“Guys, please tell me whatever you do, it will be harmless?” He tried. The little slytherin girl gave him an empty stare. 

“No.” She stated flatly, and then looked back at Tim. “We’re gonna give it a few days. Give him time to get his nerves worked up, waiting for whatever he knows I’m about to pull, and then… I’ll bring you a list.”

“A list?” 

“Alya said she needed a new potions book and couldn’t afford one, Max says he lost his scales but I think someone stole them, Nath needs new coloring pencils since he’s worn his almost out, and Rose… Rose can do so much damage with glitter.” She started to leave, but added before she left, “It’s about to be christmas at Hogwarts.”

Sure enough, the next few days were quiet.

Like a calm before a storm. 

A storm only three people knew were coming. 

The fourth day later, it was like a storm of owls had come in at dinner. Sure, it was quite normal for so many owls to appear, but not… this many. 

This was utterly absurd. It was like every single person in the school had received at least two packages, each. 

Kids on quidditch teams from three houses, everyone except gryffindor, got the fanciest newest nicest brooms, some kids got rare snacks, others toys like firecrackers or fanged frisbee’s. 

Jason just sighed, knowing if he was gonna be asked if he knew anything about this. And that he might have to lie. Whatever, the brat kid probably deserved it anyway. 

He was most surprised when a box of chocolates ended up in front of himself, with a note saying ‘thanks for saying nothing <3 M’ . He looked up to see where the little fifth-year was, amongst the chaos, but couldn’t see her anywhere through the, well, chaos. 

That was when he saw Tim, grinning like an idiot, get up from where he was sitting farther down the table and leave. 

He decided to follow him, see where he went. 

But on his way out, he bumped into a tiny first year with a red scarf. He went to apologize, and noticed she was sniffling. 

“I- hey, kid, are you ok?”

“Huh?” She looked up at him, and man this kid seemed way too tiny to be here. “Oh. I’m ok.” She gave him a small smile, and was slightly struggling to hold her huge box. 

“Are you sure?”

“It’s just…” She squirmed. “My mom, she runs a small newspaper, and is a reporter, and she had to work both a witch job and a muggle job to pay for bills, and it’s just me and her, and we could barely afford stuff for me to go here, and someone just… gave me everything I couldn’t have.” She started crying, but they seemed to be happy tears. “They just gave the books to me, brand new. Not worn out, they’re brand new, and they were free.” She smiled through the mess, and he started to realise exactly what Marinette had done for a lot of these kids. 

It wasn’t petty revenge, no meeses from a nasty prank, no broken bones form a fight, no injuries from a stupid deul. It wasn’t an obvious attack, it was thought-out. She got her revenge by stealing money from an asshole kid while doing a lot of good with it instead of being hot-headed and selfish. 

“Hey, what’s your name?” He knelt down, to look her in the eyes. 

“Manon, I’m new here. I transferred from Beaxbaton, like a lot of other kids did.”

“Hi, Manon, I’m Jason. If you ever need help, with learning, I’ll help you, ok?”

“Ok. Thank you.” She nodded, and walked off, to go put her books away. 

He found them sitting and laughing amongst themselves in the library. 

“Alright, spill.” He crossed his arms, and leaned on the frame to a bookshelf. 

They whipped their heads around, but were visibly relieved it was just him. 

“I figured you would just get a few things for your friends, not, you know… most of the damn school.” Marinette got a guilty look, and stared at the floor. 

“I might have lied and said I was volunteering for a non-profit that was helping out students, and asked people to tell me what they needed, and… some people told me what their friends needed… and some people I might have just known?” She wiggled in her seat, wondering if he was going to turn her in. 

He just shook his head, and smirked. 

“You have got to be the nicest asshole I’ve ever met.” 

“Hey.” Tim frowned, but Marinette just laughed. 

“So I have been told.”

“Really? Do you do things like pretend to be Robin Hood often?” Her eyes lit up. 

“You know the story of Robin Hood?”

“Of course! My mother used to read me stories all the time, and she was… you know, normal. Human.”

“That’s cool. Most people here have no idea what I’m talking about when I talk about, like, Disney and Pixar and stuff like that. I sang Let It Go last week, and someone called me insane.” She punched Tim in the arm, and he gave her an offended look. 

Now that she wasn’t crying and glaring all the time, she was… really pretty. He liked this look a lot more than the other one. 

“What a heinous crime.” He shook his head, maintaining a serious face. “A criminal act, truly, to not sing along to Frozen.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Some of us grew up cultured, and not in a big-ass mansion never interacting with only magic people for years.”

“Rude.” Tim scowled at them. “Rude, the both of you.” 

“Hey.” Marinette gently whacked him on the arm this time. “I say we take the tv in the muggle studies room, and have a movie marathon.” 

“Really?” Tim looked doubtful, but Jason didn’t care. 

“Totally, we won’t even get caught.” Marinette rolled her eyes, and grabbed her bag. “They don’t have class today, and the professor is doing some sort of conference thing today. As long as we can block out the volume, no one should have a reason to go in there, we’ll be fine.” she started to walk out, and the two followed her. 

“Can you believe they still use a vcr?” Jason asked, snorting. 

“Oh, it is atrocious.” Marinette agreed. 

Chapter Text

“Come on, Damian, it won’t be that bad.” Alya assured the rather small eleven year old, who begrudgingly took her up on her offer. 

“Alya, why is my little brother crying under the kitchen table?” Marinette asked her, ten minutes later. 

“Uh… I might have convinced him to take one of those ‘which member of the miraculous team are you’ quizzes on Buzzfeed.” Alay confessed. Marinette fought back a smile, trying to keep her disappointed face on. 

“And? Who did he get?”

“Chloé.” Marinette snorted, but quickly covered it up before squatting down next to him on the floor. 

“Awe, buddy, I’m so sorry.” She tried to comfort him. “It’s no fair, I know, but what do those silly people at that lame company know anyways?”

“Nothing. They know nothing.” The tiniest Wayne sniffled.

“That’s right, buddy. You are not Chloé. You will never sink that low, I promise you.”

“Rude.” The blond deadpanned from the couch, where she munched on crackers. She went completely ignored.