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Sakusa doesn't know what love is nor he cares what it is. What he obsessively cares about is keeping germs off his body. He doesn't want any oily hands touching him, sweat-clad towels on his skin or not thoroughly washed utensils. That is his first priority, eliminating any signs of germs that is near him.
So why are his eyes searching for you at the crowd instead of going to a corner and maintain his cleanliness? Why is he troubling himself with standing in the middle of busybodies who probably accumulated thousands of germs by just sitting on an equally dirty seat? He doesn't know.
But what he knows is he can't stop until he sees you.
Sakusa met you for the first time in a practice match with Fukurodani. At first, he didn't actually care. All he wants at that time was to finish the practice match, have a bath, remove all bacteria, stay away from people, especially from Bokuto, and go home. It was his routine every match, it shouldn't be disrupted because of a first year manager.
But how can he not?
He saw you move away from Bokuto as he keeps on running around the court being the hyper idiot he was. Smart move, he thought. But what caught his attention is your the hand sanitizer hanging at your sling bag. That's his favorite brand. It guarantees germ protection, proven and tested more than 50 times. It's contents include-
"Hey Sakusa! Don't be a grunch and come here to greet them!" his cousin, Komori, yanked him towards your direction. He glared at his cousin for touching him. He heard him mutter a 'Sorry' as he brings out his own sanitizer to disinfect. Sakusa knows his cousin is cleaner than others, but he's certain he just saw him touch the metal doors.
Now, there's a problem. He knows he pocketed his sanitizer, but why is it missing? Sakusa shoved his hands in his pocket as if not believing what is happening.
How is he supposed to survive the day? That bottle is brand new so he didn't bother bringing an extra. Will he have germs all over his body at the end of the day? Oh my God, he will die today. No doubts about it, this is the day that he will meet his-
His internal ramblings was cut off when he felt someone holding his hand and liquid being sprayed on it. He looked up and saw you, alcohol spray in her right hand, the other holding yours. You proceeded to bring out two sanitary wipes, one for you and the other you gave to him.
He stared at his hands as if it's a foreign thing. Everybody else in the room is silent as if waiting for Sakusa if he's going to lash out to the girl.
"You look like your ready to face your death when you didn't have your sanitizer on you, so I gave you some of mine. Don't worry about the germs, I sanitize every 20 minutes." was all you said before turning your back on him. He contemplated a bit before saying,
"Thank you. You saved my life." Sakusa monotonously said. He turned his back on the occupants in the gym to hide his pink cheeks. Why is he blushing?
"What do you mean she saved your life? I'm not a deadly virus!" he heard his brother shout but he paid him no mind. His mind is busy trying to comprehend what just happened.
He thinks he met an angel.
After that meeting, Sakusa kept remembering that day. He tried not to think about you but even if he does a hundred serves, clean his whole dorm room, jog for 2 hours straight, he still finds himself thinking about you after.
What was wrong with him? Maybe it's some sort of fascination or interest because of how you offered him, of all people, sanitary wipes. He has been distracted days after he met you, and if his teammates noticed, they didn't mention it. They probably thought it's him freaking out about his low stocks of cleaning supplies.
Which he is, and this leads us to the current situation.
Sakusa went out to the grocery to buy his much needed cleaning supplies before it ran out. Komori isn't with him this time unlike all past times that you went together, considering that he is your roommate. He didn't mind it one bit, after all, it's easier to shop if you don't have someone to argue with over brands.
A surprise it was, when he saw you crouching in front of the aisle for toilet cleaners. You were holding 2 bottle of different brands. You look as if you are torn on what to buy.
He walks toward you while convincing himself that he's not doing this because he wants to talk to you, but because he wants to aid you after the help you gave him last time. He grabbed the bottle in your right hand, your fingers slightly brushing.
"This brand is much better than the other one" he muttered. You looked shocked seeing him in the grocery store so you just stared at him. He, in turn, continued to look at you with no expression in his face.
He may look calm on exterior but inside he's been chanting numerous phrases to berate himself. What are you, a creep? For sure she thinks you're nosy, or worse, she might think you were stalking her. Should I just walk away and act as if nothing happened? No, that's not right. How about I just wait for her to leave and pretend that I'm looking for other materials? Who am I kidding, my basket's already complete.
"Uhm..." he directed his attention to you as he heard the sound, "I don't think I introduced myself last time. My name is [LastName] [Name]" you brought out your alcohol and sanitized for about 20 seconds and then after, you held your hand out, asking for a handshake.
Sakusa stared at your hands thinking of what he should do. He knows your hands are clean, you literally sanitized in front of him, but he can't help himself to be cautious. It has been a second nature to him. You felt that he might not receive the handshake so you began to lower your hands when suddenly Sakusa grasped your hand and shook it.
"Sakusa Kiyoomi" he said. What to say next? "The other brand has reviews of it not being effective enough, it's better if you choose this one" he handed you the bottle he took earlier. Great, nice conversation.
"Oh! Thank you!" you happily muttered. You looked at his basket and saw its full so probably he finished his grocery shopping.
"I'm almost done with my grocery... as thanks, how 'bout we go for a snack? My treat." Sakusa, in a matter of fact, doesn't like dining outside. Who knows what equipments did they use to cook those food? How much germs? But one look at you, he found himself agreeing. What is happening to him?
Sakusa doesn't like crowds. At all. That's why he doesn't go to fast food chains, but there he was. Standing beside you who's looking very giddy on the thought of purchasing burger, fries and giant cokefloat. Who was he to say no? Well, he's Sakusa freakin' Kiyoomi, he thinks everybody knows he doesn't like crowds or germs.
Seeing you almost twinkle at the menu looking like a dog waiting for its owner to put dog food in her plate, he doesn't have the heart to say that he doesn't want to eat there. Sakusa is having an internal conflict because surely, he thinks he actually can. If he can do it to his own cousin, then he can say it to you.
He faced you again, a sentence in his mind. I don't like to eat here. But when he did face you, you're already looking at him. You have a troubled and worried expression.
"I'm sorry, you probably don't want to eat here right? Let's go somewhere else" you said with a small smile. But he knows better, your mood become slightly sad. Are the burgers here that good?
Sakusa released a sigh and pulled his mask down a little,
"I was about to say my order. I don't mind eating here." he said in a nonchalant manner. What a liar. He cursed himself. So what if you weren't happy? Why does he have to care? Wait no. He doesn't care at all.
Seriously, what is happening to me?
Maybe you want her to be happy.
A voice whispered in the corner of his head. Make her happy? Why? It's not like they're close. He just brushed the thought off and followed you in the line.
Sakusa is convinced he's going insane.
"It's okay for you to call me by my first name" he said to you.
Now why would he say that? He doesn't like random people calling him by his first name at all. But you weren't just a random person.
The whole meal, he was observing you. The way you're considerate of his preferred distance, always offering you sanitizers every 20 minutes and cleaning your table before sitting. At first, its just your actions related to hygiene, but after that he begins to observe your quirks. The way you bite the straw while drinking, your unusual way of eating fries, you picking out the vegetables on your burger and your laugh.
He likes your laugh, though he doesn't want to admit it. He had just heard it this day, but he doesn't mind hearing it everyday. Is that normal?
No, definitely not.
"Sakusa-san, do you-" He cut you off in the middle of what you are saying,
"It's okay for you to call me by my first name"
You were shocked, of course, but if he says it's alright, then she would.
"Okay! Then call me [Name] too!" you said with the brightest smile you can muster.
Sakusa froze. What was that?
He blinked once. twice. thrice. It's so bright, your smile highlighting all your features perfectly. You look beautiful.
Sakusa can hear his own heart beating rapidly. Heart attack? he thought. But he can breathe just fine.
So the reason,
Must have been you.
Sakusa can't sleep that night. His memories about you can't stop replaying on his mind. Why don't you stay out of his mind? Every time he remembers your laugh and smile, he'll feel his heartbeat going fast.
Is this some sort of illness?
He hastily whipped his phone out and opened his search engine
'If my heart beats abnormally fast, what illness do I have?'
Multiple results showed up, but being the meticulous person he is, he clicked the number 1 ranked result.
If your heart beats fast:
- You may have a heart disease - If your heart beats fast and together with that you have a difficulty in breathing. You have chest pains and you gasp for air.
- You might be in love - If your heart beats so fast but you don't have any breathing problems or chest pains. If your heart beats fast when you're thinking of someone, or seeing her, her smile, her face. If your heart beats fast because of her and you want her to be always happy, then you are in deep sh-t. I mean, you're in love.
Sakusa almost dropped his phone. What? That's impossible. He read it again and again. He even looked for other search results but all have the same diagnosis.
'You're in love'
He's in love with you.
"Hey Kiyo! What are you spacing out for?"
Sakusa snapped into reality as he heard your voice, he looked straight into your eyes as if he can read you in and out. After what he reminisced, he berated himself for being so stupid. He may not know what Love is for other people, but for him it's clear as day. His heart only beats for one girl.
You.
"Hey [Name], have I told you that I love you?"