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The neighborhood was loud tonight, and it made me twitch with annoyance as a headache began to grow. Even though Halloween was still two weeks, away parties had been in full swing all night. Characters of every shape and size dressed in every conceivable way wandered the street drunkenly calling out to each other.
In the past, I may have been one of those drunken idiots dressed as whatever sexy costume was popular that year, but that was the past. I knew tonight would be bad, it always is, and I had made preparations for myself to get through it. The porch light was off as were all of the other lights in my house, and I had set up the bathroom, the one with no windows, to be my little sanctuary.
Candlelight flickered throughout the place and the mattress on the floor sat pushed against the tub as a makeshift headboard which had been piled with many pillows. A little nest for myself to get me through tonight.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I closed the bathroom door and most of the noise seemed to deafen if not disappear entirely. I sat there just for a bit and closed my eyes letting what peace I had found wash over me. For a moment, it seemed as if everything had disappeared, like you were floating and everything else had shut off.
The moment didn’t last as a scream came from my next door neighbors pool deck followed by rapturous laughter and a splash.
“Are you fucking serious?” I groaned as the music was turned up and the bass began to shake my house.
“Fuck this.” I threw the blankets from the bed, the peacefulness I had wished to escape to completely ruined.
I found myself slipping on some shoes grabbing my keys and bolting to my car. I peeled out of the driveway so fast my tires screeched, causing some of the party guests to look at me in annoyance.
Good, serves them right.
I really didn’t have anywhere to go or anyone to go to, not that I would want to see anyone tonight, so I just drove. I would take a turn here my headlights creating shadows on the road that would have been menacing if I were the superstitious type and then I would make another turn and forget about the shadows. I did this for about an hour and I took great comfort in knowing that I couldn’t be bothered in my car, that nothing could disturbed me here.
My wheel suddenly jerked to the left and without warning and without reason I was suddenly in a ditch. My airbags deployed and I felt myself thrown back with so much force the air rushed out of me. I stayed still for a minute as the rumbling of the car came to a shutter halt and my headlights dimmed.
“I really hate this night.” I muttered pulling myself from the car kicking at the tires as I distanced myself from the wreck.
I looked around for any sign of help, but I was in the middle of forest covered road with no other car in sight. It would mean I would have to walk to find whatever help I was going to get. There was no use waiting, so I began to walk.
I hadn’t been walking long when I realized I had come upon an entrance to somewhere. The stone sign sat eerily on either side with a gate in the middle, the lettering on the sign read, “Kingdoms Dove Cemetery.”
My heart stuttered and I felt an icy lump form in my stomach and I tried not to let it end up on the asphalt at my feet. This was impossible, more than impossible even, it was not fathomable. There was no way I could be here, I should have been thousands and thousands of miles away from this precise location.
I thought about turning around and running, I should have turned around and run, but I couldn’t.
Or maybe.... I wouldn’t.
Something was calling to me and I felt compelled to follow. So, I took a step forward and then another and walked into the impossible unfathomable cemetery that should have been thousands of miles away.
I don’t visit cemeteries often, in fact I make it a point not to go near them. The dead and I are not friends and I do not wish to keep them company. I remember I used to be a researcher with one of my jobs involving reading tombstones and I was always afraid of stepping on someone.
The quietness of the graveyard did not fill me with the same peacefulness the car had or even my bathroom had and once again I thought about running. But, I knew where my feet were taking me. I recognized these various headstones and found my eyes scanning for the newest one among the bunch and found it quite easily.
I felt my eyes water and yet I couldn’t look away and I couldn’t stop myself from sitting down next to the headstone with my grandmother's name on it.
I sat there for a moment feeling the cold granite dig into my shoulder as I leaned against it and in that moment everything changed.
I began to talk, to tell my grandmother of my year and all the things she had missed. I had been considering getting a pet, probably a dog, and I told her the name I had picked out.
Percy.
I chuckled thinking of her reaction to the name. “Very non-conventional of you,” she’d nod with a knowing smile.
I told her of my work, of the books I had read since she was gone, and the new guy that I had met at the cafe. I laughed as I told her how I had spilled my coffee all over him and awkwardly apologized trying to quickly help clean it up and offering to do his laundry.
I swore I could hear her laughing along with me, and for a moment, the cemetery seemed brighter and safe and warmer. It went on like this for some time, the sky never changed so I couldn’t tell the exact time, but I didn’t care. It was cathartic to be talking with my grandmother again.
I must have fallen asleep at some point, I must have, because when I remember jarring awake at the sound of a voice calling to me. A voice I recognized called out to me and I searched around the cemetery my eyes darting left and right trying to find the source.
Then I saw her or maybe I saw something resembling her, my grandmother was there, but she was younger than I had last seen her. She smiled at me and held out her hand, perhaps I should have felt afraid, but I reached for her instantly. The sensation was something I can’t describe, but it didn’t feel like I was touching a normal hand and yet it was still comforting.
“Look at you, look how much you’ve grown.” She said warmly eyeing over me.
I choked out a laugh. “It’s only been a year.” I said through my tears.
She nodded. “Yes, and yet you have changed. I wonder how you ended up here alone tonight?” Her eyes twinkled with mischief as she spoke.
“Listen, I’ve been watching you. I’ve seen how lonely you’ve been this year and how much you have been hurting.”
I tried to interrupt, but she gave me a stern look and I closed my mouth immediately.
“I do not have a lot of time, so let me speak. I want you to be happy, little one, and I can’t stand watching you holed up in your house.” She looked at me knowingly.
“You aren’t here.” I sobbed.
She rolled her eyes, “Yes, we all die, but you are alive. You are smart, talented, and a ray of sunshine, and I want you to live. That is an order from me, you can’t really argue with a ghost little one.” She chuckled.
I could feel her leaving the warmth in my hands was fading and I grasped them harder not being ready to let go.
She just simply smiled and squeezed my hand one last time, “I mean it, crying is all well and good, but get the dog you told me about. Find someone to make you happy in whatever way they can.”
She started to fade and the cemetery began to dim again. “Oh and I think Percy is a wonderful name.”