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“Sometimes I ask myself if you were more trouble than you’re worth, Creampuff,” she said in her drawling way, despite the reality that Laura couldn’t hear her at this point. “The answer to that question of course is a definitive yes and a resounding no. And to be honest, that’s the part that’s getting to me. Too much trouble, and yet I’d brave a lot more.... Although there’s not much more to weather at this point.”
“You really love talking to yourself, don’t you?” came a new voice, the voice of a girl that gave Carmilla both the urge to smile as well as the urge to groan exasperatedly. “Not much has changed then, I see.”
“No, not much has changed, Ell,” Carmilla replied. “I’m still falling in love with flesh despite being made of stone.”
“And you actually believe that you’re stone, Carm?” said the voice of the girl doubtfully. “You’re more alive than most humans will ever be.”
“Not for long,” Carmilla said, her hands shaking as the sword she held grew hotter and hotter. “Quite anti-climactic, honestly. I’m centuries old and this is how I die. For a human too, no less.”
“Story’s the same, times are different,” Ell said, coming into Carmilla’s line of vision. She was wearing that same white dress, her hair flowing over her shoulders and her eyes bright as she knelt beside her old love. Bright and sad and maybe a little bit exasperated. “Except that you’re not going to die. Or have you truly become so stuck in your misery to believe that, Carm?”
With the hand that wasn’t holding the sword, Carmilla reached out towards Ell, locking their fingers together. Ell, of course, had been dead for a very long time, although her consciousness had remained in tact. The mind and soul were always much harder to destroy than the body.
She decided to voice the thoughts that next rang through her mind. “The sword consumes all who wield it, and so I shall be consumed. The light will devour what is left. Survival is a distinct impossibility.”
Ell’s hand reached towards Carmilla’s cheeks. “You’ve been crying,” she said.
“Don’t remind me.”
“Crying for me, and for her. She’s lucky to have you. Since I left…” Ell paused for a second, the words slow and painful. “Since I abandoned you… since we abandoned each other… you’ve saved yourself. You didn’t let your heart get away from you so easily again. But she was able to do it, make you be vulnerable again. Surely, that’s someone worth dying for.”
Carmilla was silent.
“So I promise you, Carm, that you will live for her.”
Ell pulled away from Carmilla and wrapped both hands firmly around the red hot sword, wrenching it out of Carmilla’s grip. Carmilla let out a gasp as if a tidal wave had hit her.
“Wait!” Carmilla said, seeing the sword burn brighter in Ell’s hands. Ell did not flinch, although Carmilla knew that is was sapping Ell of the little form she had left. “Please -- wait -- no…”
“You have done so many cowardly things, you useless vampire. But you are not a coward. Now get the hell out of here,” Ell said, beginning to back away into the core of the towering chasm of light.
“But… no! No --” Carmilla gasped, falling forward in an attempt to follow the girl as she stepped farther away. “I… I can’t leave you now… I don’t want to leave.”
“The light is hungry. Don’t add yourself to the number of girls you’ve fed to it,” Ell spat back at her.
“But… I… I don’t know how…”
Ell stepped forward again, freeing one hand from the sword to take Carmilla’s hand. “Let me see if I can get this through to you. Do you know what happens when I let go of your hand?”
Carmilla shook her head, feeling so much like a small child.
“When I let go of your hand is when you will decide if you’ll live or die. Because that is when the light will devour everything and the sword will finish its work here. The world around you will shatter and explode and whether or not you crawl through the ruins up to the top is your choice. I’m not making the choice for you. On three.”
“Ell.”
“One.”
“Wait, Ell --”
“Two.”
Carmilla lunged forward and placed a gentle kiss on Ell’s cheek. It was warm despite not being truly there -- not being a true form.
Ell’s voice was somewhat breathless as she said the next word, “Three.”
The girl in the white night dress let go of her hand and had disappeared a second later as Carmilla’s world went up in flames. Everything, everywhere was burning and roaring and the heat was searing into her and as Carmilla tried to figure out which way was up and which way was down she thought that she was already dead. She was really dead and this was surely Hell.
Where else could she be destined for but Hell?
*******
Staring at the camera was definitely not as easy as all the other times. But for all the other times, Laura wasn’t holding in tears. Every other time she switched on the camera it was to give an update on the search for Betty. But Betty was gone now. All the other times, it was to continue the story, but the story seemed to have come to an end. This time, when she switched on the camera, it wasn’t at all like the other times. It was to pay tribute to someone. Someone very special.
“She… she was my terrible roommate. But she made the biggest changes for me…”
Laura didn’t want to keep up with this one. She usually was so eager to make updates, but this time it just wasn’t in her. She didn’t shut the camera off, though.
“I don’t know what I can say to thank her for what she did,” she went on, her sentences forming without her thought. “It hasn’t even really registered yet. It doesn’t feel like she’s gone anywhere.”
Legitimate thoughts of Carmilla lurking around the corner had been constantly running through Laura’s mind, like things were just the way they were a few days ago.
“I keep thinking she’ll come walking through the door right now... and start calling me creampuff, or cupcake, or cutie, or --”
“Laura.”
She froze in front of the computer. Did she really hear what she think she just heard? No, it wasn’t possible. It was a figment of her imagination. It was another one of her stupid dreams, chasing her in the daytime. It was a cruel, cruel dream. Slowly, she turned around.
Despite knowing exactly who it was standing before her, she still didn’t trust it. It could still be a mirage.
Carmilla stood with most of her weight supported on one leg, the other leg covered in raw, bloody patches. Her clothes were torn and singed. Her eyes were wide and fearful, vastly different from her usual cool gaze. Her entire posture appeared rigid, although Laura could see the tremors running through the other girl’s body.
“Laura,” Carmilla said again, taking a small step towards Laura. Laura felt cool hands gently run over her arm and suddenly it clicked that the girl in front of her was not just another nightmare, and she threw her arms around the vampire’s shoulders.
“You stupid, stupid vampire! You idiotic, imbecilic, moron!” Laura was raging beneath her breath into Carmilla’s ear. “I hate you so much! God… you’re alive… you’re really okay…”
Carmilla was shaking, harder and harder with each second. Carmilla never trembled, and all Laura could think was that her terrible vampire roommate was anything but okay.
“Carm… you… you were dead. How are you here?”
“I clawed my way up out of Hell.”