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It partly started because of the fans. Even before debut, it was apparent fans liked it when they touched each other, fooled around. It made them look closer as a group. It was normal for idol groups to perform fanservice and be touchier in front of fans.
Chan relayed the news to them on a sleepy drive home after their music show performance and explained it all to them. Changbin listened to the rain patter rhythmically on the windows as the mechanics of fandoms and shipping was unfolded before them. Even though they were all exhausted, limbs heavy and muscles tense, everyone was keeping an ear out. It was a strange topic after all, it was bound to pique interest.
“I know it’s a weird fan thing,” Chan had said, “But it’s a natural thing that always happens with celebrities. It’ll make our fans happy and management have been pushing it too. Because we always describe ourselves as a family.”
Perhaps some members looked at Chan with concern, probably Jeongin.
“Don’t worry,” Chan reassured them. “We don’t need anything extreme, we do skinship naturally at home anyway. I’m just telling everyone to be aware of your body language and what you’re doing in front of the fans in this context.”
Then he’d explained it to Felix in English, with a lot more sniggering and giggling. Clearly the two of them knew more about the topic.
“Who do you think’s the most popular ship?”
“Isn’t it obviously Felix and Changbin-hyung?” pointed out Hyunjin. He was sitting next to Changbin, leaning on Changbin’s shoulder. “Because you kissed hyung on the show.”
Changbin remembered the moment. It had been funny at the time, but the presence of the cameras made it more plastic and fake. He remembered not quite being able to look the middle-aged cameraman in the eye after, feeling slightly ashamed.
There were some squawks and laughs at the memory. They’d all seen the clip and teased the two of them relentlessly for it, although it was mostly aimed at Felix.
“You chose me because I’m better than Minho-hyung, right?” said Changbin as Minho hissed at him like an angry cat. “Because hyung’s so comfortable to be with?”
Felix flushed slightly. “Well, I wasn’t as close to Minho-hyung at the time.”
Minho bared his teeth at Felix jokingly.
“Is that what you thought?” he said with an underlying threat. “I never thought that.”
Hyunjin chuckled and Changbin could feel the vibrations of his laugh against his own chest.
Seungmin chose this moment to jump in, but his timing was off.
“I saw that Minho-hyung and Jisung are a big ship too. Because you held hands in the show.”
The atmosphere went a bit wonky then and a weird silence dropped on them. Changbin knew why. It had been a moment of friendship, support, when they were fighting to debut but fans interpreted it as romantic.
“We’re not that touchy though.” Jisung retorted, cutting through the silence. “Not like you and Jeongin.”
“Hey,” protested Jeongin, “I don’t let Seungmin-hyung touch me. I’m the one pushing him away!”
It appeared it was now a competition where the losers were the biggest ship.
“If we’re talking about touchy,” said Chan thoughtfully, “Isn’t that Hyunjin and Changbin?”
Everyone turned to look at the two of them on the backseat. Hyunjin had dozed off, slumped across Changbin, a hand thrown loosely between Changbin’s thighs.
“What?” said Changbin, feeling unnecessarily defensive.
That was just the way their friendship worked. Changbin had his role as the easygoing hyung who was easy to tease and he accepted that with no problems. Him and Hyunjin always had a teasing back-and-forth vibe between them. It could almost be called flirty, but some friendships just had those nuances.
Chan wasn’t one to talk either, always trailing after Felix like a lost puppy.
The car ran over a dip in the road and Hyunjin mumbled some drowsy nonsense, eyes fluttering open to see everyone staring at him.
He nuzzled further into Changbin’s collarbone and shut his eyes again with a sigh. If Changbin rolled his eyes at Chan and proceeded to fix the wayward strands of Hyunjin’s hair, there was nothing to make of it.
*
Changbin was half-splayed on the bench in the practice room, zoning out when a large weight on his knees forced his eyes open. It was Hyunjin, plopping himself onto Changbin’s lap, a big tangle of lanky limbs.
“I was trying to rest, you know,” said Changbin, but he made no attempt to turf Hyunjin off. Instead he snaked his arms around Hyunjin’s waist, pulling him closer to him. “And I’m sweaty.”
“Well, so am I, so it doesn’t matter,” replied Hyunjin playfully, turning around to mash his sweaty forehead against Changbin’s.
Changbin groaned and tried to wipe his face. Across the room, Seungmin was watching them quietly. He gave Changbin a meaningful glance but the meaning never reached him because Hyunjin wriggled off him and sat down on the bench beside him like a normal person, only to lay his head down in Changbin’s lap.
*
Jisung brought it up again before their first fan-sign, to try and break the tension. It was unrealistic because Changbin had seen all their fans at their survival show, but there was a collective feeling of doom amongst them. That no one would turn up to see them and they would stride onto stage to be met with empty seats and dead silence.
“Let’s see which combo gets the loudest cheers,” Jisung announced.
“Only if there’s a prize,” said Minho immediately.
“No chores for a week?”
Everyone found themselves agreeing, even Chan – it was a good way to boost fanservice without things getting weird.
Changbin was paired with Felix, to no one’s surprise. And when they won, Changbin couldn’t help but feel some kind of disappointment. Maybe in the fans, maybe at himself. He couldn’t be sure.
*
Changbin was lying on Hyunjin’s bed, propped up on his elbows between Hyunjin’s legs. Hyunjin was lying on his back, scrolling through his phone.
“Did you know a lot of fans ship both of us with Seungmin?” he’d asked.
“That’s interesting,” Changbin replied absently and popped his head up at Hyunjin, in front of the phone in his face. “Your lips are so pretty.”
“Yeah, yeah, you always say that,” said Hyunjin petulantly, probably because Changbin ignored him. “You’re gonna touch them again?”
Changbin traced his thumb over Hyunjin’s lips in reply, feeling the warm softness of them. He used his finger to flick at Hyunjin’s bottom lip.
“Of course, they’re so pretty I can’t resist,” said Changbin jokingly. Jeongin barged into the room in the middle of his sentence and gave the two of them his classic bug-eyed stare then retreated from the room.
“That was weird,” Hyunjin commented, tracing his tongue over his lips and Changbin tracked the movement with his eyes.
“He must be going through puberty,” agreed Changbin and reached his finger up to press down on Hyunjin’s lips again. They were just too soft.
Hyunjin let out a little sigh of contentment and they stayed like that for a while, until Changbin dozed off, using Hyunjin’s belly as a pillow.
*
“My best feature is my lips which Changbin-hyung likes,” said Hyunjin in the interview. “Every night he comes into my room and-”
“Kisses them?” interrupted Jeongin and all of Stray Kids burst out into laughter.
Hyunjin turned around in panic to look at Changbin who had an awkward grin fixed on his face.
“No! Not kisses! We don’t kiss!” blustered Hyunjin hurriedly. “Hyung says my lips are beautiful and he touches them with his finger - like this!” Then he gave a quick demonstration.
Changbin was beginning to realise what he did sounded kind of weird out loud and without context. It wasn’t like that was the only reason he touched Hyunjin’s lips! He just liked being with Hyunjin and the skinship naturally follows.
It didn’t stop there. Hyunjin kept bringing it up. After that interview, he’d worriedly gone over to Changbin.
“Hyung, was it OK to say that on camera?” he said, looking a tad guilty. “I didn’t mean for it to come out weird.”
So Changbin hadn’t been the only one thinking that.
“It’s fine,” he replied, “The fans will love it.”
So it kept coming up.
“And there’s Changbin-hyung who comes onto my bed every night to touch my lips.” Hyunjin said in another interview. “I think that’s why they’re so beautiful.”
It was even in Two Kids Room.
“He tries to hug and kiss you,” said Chan. Hyunjin nodded fervently.
“That hyung, he’s a bit weird…he comes and gives me kisses.”
Even Changbin brought it up himself in a live.
“When I saw Hyunjin for the first time, I thought his lips were really beautiful.”
It almost seemed normal now.
So during their sleeping live, Changbin didn’t stop himself running his finger over Hyunjin’s lips. It was just fanservice, right?
*
They were at the gym. Hyunjin watched Changbin go through his routine. He didn’t really work out himself because dance practice was enough to keep him in good condition but it was fun to watch Changbin exercise. And his muscles were cool to watch. They’d flex and bulge and just looked really cool. It was why Hyunjin kept squeezing them whenever he got the opportunity.
“How much are you lifting?” asked Hyunjin.
“I can do seventy to eighty kilograms easily,” bragged Changbin, “And if I try really hard, ninety. Ninety on a good day.”
That got Hyunjin thinking.
“Hyung, do you think you could lift me up?”
Changbin actually considered his suggestion seriously and gestured at Hyunjin.
“Come on then.”
“You’re actually going to do it?” exclaimed Hyunjin in surprise.
Changbin looked confused.
“Isn’t that why you asked me?”
That was Hyunjin ended up being bench-pressed by Changbin. He was lifted right into the air and Changbin wasn’t even breaking a sweat.
“You can bench-press me,” muttered Hyunjin under his breath after he got to put two feet to the ground again. “That’s kinda hot.”
“What?”
Hyunjin flushed deep pink. “Nothing.
*
Hyunjin sneaked a hand into Changbin’s shirt yet again. Changbin yelped as he felt cold hands on his chest.
“Stop it!” he cried, louder than he meant. Shit, he forgot the live was still going. Beside them, Minho looked seconds away from bonking both their heads together.
“Just get married,” he remarked at them. Changbin stiffened but Hyunjin didn’t take notice of the comment.
Instead Hyunjin squeezed Changbin’s arms. “They’re so big,” he crooned, caressing the biceps and suddenly Changbin felt his stomach tighten. Pleasantly.
He wasn’t sure if that was how things were meant to work. Hyunjin was surely just doing it for fanservice.
That was right, he reminded himself. That was how the whole thing had started, after all.
*
Minho pushed their faces together.
“Go on, kiss.” He said mercilessly. Somehow, he seemed serious about the whole thing.
Changbin let Minho guide their faces together without resistance, just mild anticipation. He’d done it enough times with Hyunjin. They always played that little game when SKZ Talker was being filmed. Between them, they’d take turns leaning dangerously close to each other and puckering their lips, waiting for the other person to turn around. It echoed in his head again, good fanservice.
Changbin wondered if they were really about to kiss like this. The idea was not that strange to him. So when Hyunjin pushed Changbin away, shrieking, Changbin almost felt disappointment.
*
They were live and Hyunjin couldn’t maintain eye contact with him.
“Come on, just a few seconds!” said Changbin. He sounded exasperated.
Hyunjin was truly trying his hardest though. But he couldn’t look Changbin in the eye at all without a nervous laugh wiggling out of him. It was Changbin-hyung’s fault – his gaze was too strong. It made Hyunjin feel light and unanchored, like a balloon that would drift away if you let go.
*
“Changbin-hyung? I can’t imagine a world without him.” Changbin watched the recording and his grip on the phone tightened.
He finally understood. It wasn’t just fanservice on Changbin’s part.
*
Hyunjin’s long hair was radiant and beautiful in the sunshine. Changbin badly wanted to run his fingers through the blond locks. He didn’t know why he was holding himself back. Normally he would have gone ahead and mindlessly done it. But now he was aware of his feelings, he was self-conscious.
If Hyunjin noticed Changbin’s lack of teasing lately, he didn’t mention it. They kept the same vibe going on camera though but somehow it felt wrong to continue after it was just them.
*
“Come on, let hyung give you a kiss!” said Changbin in his aegyo voice, chasing after Hyunjin. It was after the performance and they were tidying away in the dressing room. The 00 line scattered immediately.
He targeted Hyunjin first and pursed his lips at Hyunjin making kissy noises. Hyunjin laughed and slapped playfully at Changbin. Changbin didn’t end up chasing after anyone else.
At the dorm, Changbin kept it up. “Hyung’s coming for kisses!” he yelled.
He found Hyunjin hiding behind the bathroom door. Changbin shut the door, the two of them in the bathroom.
“Hyung’s gonna kiss you,” he threatened and he grabbed Hyunjin’s forearms and lifted his hands in a gesture of surrender, pressing them to the tiled wall. It made Hyunjin look vulnerable. Defenceless.
He was basically wall-slamming Hyunjin like in a film.
“Hyung’s really gonna kiss you, right on the lips,” teased Changbin, drawing closer. He wasn’t quite sure what to do now. He never got this close with this game usually. Hyunjin said nothing but stared Changbin with defiance although Changbin was pinning him to the wall.
“Go on, then.” He said quietly, then a huge blush bloomed across his cheeks.
A giant wave of heat hit Changbin and his heart began banging like a drum.
“I’m-I’m gonna do it,” he said weakly, suddenly unable to look away from Hyunjin’s lips. He’d pressed them, stroked them a thousand times but they looked different now, faraway and untouchable.
“Kiss me then,” said Hyunjin lowly, voice hoarse.
Oh.
Changbin finally went through with his threat and stretched up on his tiptoes to plant a shy close-mouthed kiss on Hyunjin’s lips.
“How was that?” he said uncertainly.
“I could barely feel it,” said Hyunjin, with a nervous smile.
Where was his confidence coming from? Changbin felt like his legs would give out any moment.
“This isn’t about fanservice, is it?” asked Changbin, feeling incredibly dumb. But he had to make sure.
Hyunjin stared.
“What do you mean?” he said, a hand lightly cupping Changbin’s cheek. God, Changbin had just gone to heaven and died. “I wouldn’t touch you like that just for fanservice. If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t have done it.”
Glorious relief washed through Changbin. Hyunjin really liked him. Had he too been pining after Changbin for months?
“You mean it?” he said, shy all of a sudden. Hyunjin nodded eagerly. “I was worried, you know. That it was just…for the fans.”
“Never.” Hyunjin said, looking Changbin straight in the eyes, voice steady. “Hyung, I’ve been hoping you would notice. But you’re so dense sometimes.”
“Hey,” protested Changbin weakly. Hyunjin giggled at that and Changbin found himself melting.
“Can you crouch down?” he whined and Hyunjin bent down. Perfect.
Changbin dove in again and this time let himself feel the imprint of Hyunjin’s lips, the plump top and bottom lip soft against his chapped ones. He opened his mouth to tug at them and feel their shape and taste Hyunjin. It went on for quite a while until there was a knock on the door and they jumped apart.
“Can whoever’s in there hurry up?” asked Felix, “I really need to go.”
Hyunjin and Changbin looked at each other for one long moment then unlocked the door. They traipsed out hand in hand without a backwards glance, missing Felix’s wide eyes.
Once they were in Changbin’s room, the door firmly shut behind them, Hyunjin slammed himself into Changbin.
They made out furiously, taking turns to press each other against the wall, before falling together onto the bottom bunk.
“Why didn’t we do this earlier?” gasped Changbin breathlessly, peering up at Hyunjin who was crouched over Changbin. His lips were pink as ever and kiss-swollen, parted and slick.
“Well, we can make up for lost time,” said Hyunjin with a huge grin. Then he leaned in again.
That was unfortunately the position Chan found them in when he came to call the pair for dinner.