Chapter Text
It's that same dream again.
That same motel from the dozen times past - maybe more - that Junhoe finds himself in, standing in front of a door with a spiral pattern instead of a number. That same feeling of keys in his hand, reassuring in its shape even though Junhoe hasn't held a physical key in... he doesn't even know how long. The world is all digital now, with passcodes and fingerprint locks, and it's always the feeling of metal in his hands that enables Junhoe to recognize he's dreaming.
He's dreaming. This motel, this spiral, this door, this lock he's opening with a deft flick of his wrist - they're all in his dream. And like all those times before, the door swings open with a familiar creak. All part of the ritual of his subconscious.
What's never the same is the room that lays beyond.
This time, it's his dorm from university. A cramped space, barely big enough for two. The bunk beds are to the right, the bottom one messy and unmade while the top one is immaculate. There's a desk at the far end pressed against the wall. Should be a window there, he thinks faintly. Should be a window overlooking the quad. But there's no window, this isn't really his dorm.
There are posters, too. Of bands and movies. His eyes slide over them. They don't feel important.
What's important is the shifting on the bed. The blanket being thrown back and Jinhwan sitting up slowly.
"Hey," Jinhwan greets him, voice rasp with sleep. "You're back early."
"Hey," Junhoe greets back. "You're... here."
Jinhwan rubs at his eyes. "Where else would I be?"
Not here, Junhoe thinks. Not anywhere I can reach you.
"It's raining, huh?" Jinhwan says, looking out the window. The window that wasn't there before.
Junhoe isn't bothered. This is a dream. He's not surprised it's raining, either; it always rains when he sees Jinhwan's face.
"We should get dinner," Junhoe says. "Before it gets too late."
Jinhwan nods. He gets up and he's wearing one of Junhoe's shirts, the one that hangs off him like a tent, and they're in that barbeque place two blocks down from Junhoe's old apartment that serves perfect cubes of beef on skewers. Jinhwan puts a couple of them on the grill. The smell reaches Junhoe's stomach before his brain, and he realizes he's hungry.
"I hope the food doesn't get wet." Jinhwan is focused on the meat. Junhoe looks up and sees that it's still raining. He's soaked, Jinhwan's soaked, but the grill is smoking and their barbeque smells delicious. Jinhwan turns the skewers to cook the other side, waits a minute, then offers one of them to Junhoe. "You get the first bite. To celebrate your new job."
"How do you know that?" Junhoe asks. "I haven't… I haven't told you yet. I haven't seen you in forever-"
That was the wrong thing to say. Not because it offends Jinhwan, but because it's too lucid a thought. Too grounded on reality.
The dream blurs, like water getting into Junhoe's eyes. He reaches for Jinhwan's hand to hold as long as he can. But it's futile. His vision fades to blinding light-
-and he sits up, gripping his twisted blanket tightly in his fist.
"I was just about to wake you," a voice says, startling him.
It's Yunhyeong peeking into the room, wearing the pastel blue apron Bobby got him for his birthday. "Hyung."
"Breakfast is almost ready," Yunhyeong continues with a small smile. "I grilled some beef. Thought you could use the extra perk today." Yunhyeong lingers for a moment. Like he's not sure whether to leave. But Junhoe must have looked as okay as he's ever been because Yunhyeong nods and goes back to the kitchen, leaving Junhoe to reorient himself in his bedroom in their shared apartment, back in the real world.
A framed picture of himself and Jinhwan sits on the desk by the foot of his bed, carefully positioned so it’s the first thing he sees when he gets up everyday. It was taken almost three years ago when they rode the Ferris wheel at Lotteworld. Jinhwan is smiling brightly, looking ethereal in the sunlight, while Junhoe looks constipated.
It used to inspire a lot of complicated emotions.
But not today. Today, Junhoe wants to throw it as hard as he can against the wall.
It's 7:22am on the day Junhoe's supposed to start his new job while his caring hyung has a delicious breakfast waiting for him, but all he wants to do right then is burrow beneath the covers of his bed and dive back into a dream.
"You never make coffee for me," Junhoe grouses, taking his seat at the table. His face is still damp from a hurried wash at the bathroom sink.
"Because you don’t need it," Yunhyeong points out. He’s scooping rice into two bowls. The grilled beef strips and the fried eggs are already on the table. "The last time I made you coffee you couldn’t sleep until the day after."
Junhoe frowns, both at the truth and at the memory. Yunhyeong’s coffee press taunts him from the sink. Junhoe and caffeine are not friends but Yunhyeong’s coffee just smells so good. "Maybe I need it just this once."
Yunhyeong puts their rice on the table. "You really should reconsider."
Junhoe does. He arrives at a compromise. "Just this once," he repeats. But not of Yunhyeong’s coffee. There’s still water in the kettle, warm enough for another cup into which Junhoe pours a sachet of instant coffee mix. Instant coffee is exempt because it's barely coffee in the first place. Or the cheap kind that Junhoe buys, at least.
His roommate in university had very strong opinions about coffee. Junhoe imbibed them just as something harmless to be passionate about.
"Rough night, huh?" Yunhyeong teases, eyes smiling as he watches Junhoe over the rim of his cup.
Junhoe scowls at nothing. "Rough dream." He takes a sip. He doesn’t know what actually wakes him up - maybe it’s the smell, or the sweetness, or maybe it's the taste, or the warmth - but he blinks and the world grows sharper, like a video shifting to higher resolution. It's like waking up a second time. And as far as things to see with better vision goes, Yunhyeong's face is definitely one of the better ones. Not that he'd ever tell him that.
"I figured." Yunhyeong leaves it at that. He takes his chopsticks and digs in.
"Dreamed about him again," Junhoe continues. "Wasn’t prepared for it. But I guess I never am, huh?"
"Hard to prepare for a dream," Yunhyeong agrees around a mouthful of rice and eggs.
Junhoe takes his own chopsticks and follows Yunhyeong’s example. Dreams are dreams. Beef and rice and eggs are real. "I guess I still kinda miss him." He doesn’t even have to feign the casual tone anymore. "I wonder if that’ll ever change."
Yunhyeong shrugs. "It’s okay to let yourself miss him, you know?"
"I know, I know, it’s just-" Junhoe sighs. He takes a spoonful of rice and chews thoughtfully. "It’s just… not a big deal, really, I’m sorry I even brought it up."
"Alright." Yunhyeong picks the best slice of meat from his plate and puts it on Junhoe’s rice. "If you feel like talking about it, I’m always here to listen."
Junhoe smiles. It came easily, too. "I know. Thank you."
He lets the silence seep in. Yunhyeong checks his phone for news, for messages, for whatever else, while Junhoe feeds himself on automatic. Just as Yunhyeong always teases: the only time Junhoe’s ever quiet is when he’s lost in his own world.
It’s always the same motel, but the rooms are always different. He remembers one time the door opened to the most impressive bathroom he has ever seen, even if the only things Junhoe can recall are the blue marble tiles and the hot tub he can swim laps in.
"Excited for the new job?"
Junhoe refocuses on Yunhyeong, bowl now empty and phone on the table. He must have spaced out longer than he thought. "And a whole lot more nervous."
"You’ll do great." Yunhyeong grins. He smiles like an angel even when he teases like an imp. "Maybe make friends this time, though."
Junhoe laughs at that. "I’m friends with you. That’s already more than I can handle."
"And Bobby," Yunhyeong reminds him.
Junhoe grimaces. "Don’t remind me. Jury's still out on that one." It earns him a chuckle. Junhoe's stubborn. Yunhyeong knows this, and so does Bobby.
They’re putting their dishes away when Junhoe steels himself to ask. "Hyung?
"Yeah?"
"Do you miss him too?"
Yunhyeong stays quiet long enough for Junhoe to wonder if he’s offended. Like maybe it’s okay for them to talk about Junhoe missing Jinhwan, but Yunhyeong’s feelings are only his and he wants it kept that way. Or how dare Junhoe even ask that question, of course Yunhyeong has healed now, he's a well-adjusted adult. But before Junhoe can apologize, Yunhyeong sighs heavily, deeply, and pats Junhoe’s shoulder before walking away to take a shower. It leaves Junhoe, somehow, with the comfort that even the happiest person he knows still feels the emptiness Jinhwan left behind.
But now, healing can wait. Or Junhoe likes to think he’s as healed as can be.
The fact is this: Jinhwan is dead.
A related fact: it took Junhoe a year and four months of therapy to accept the truth. That Jinhwan… isn’t coming back. And that was a huge hurdle to get past. Junhoe somehow held in his heart the unshakeable conviction that one day there would be that familiar knock on his door and Junhoe would yell at him to just come in, he knows the code, why won’t he just come in? And Jinhwan would oblige and remind him that knocking was the polite thing to do before entering a space that wasn’t his.
Not even being present at Jinhwan’s funeral dampened that belief. Which was… a problem. Hence, therapy. And moving in with Yunhyeong, because Yunhyeong knew the man who took Jinhwan’s loss the hardest wouldn't want to be left alone. One day he'll feel ready to talk about it and pull himself together again, but that day will come sooner if he has a friend who can help him through the rough.
And he was right.
It’s two steps forward, one step back. But at least it’s not the other way around.
"I am so glad you decided to sign with us," Junhoe’s new supervisor Kim Hanbin welcomes him at the lobby of Seoul Technological Institute. "Honestly, if you didn’t? I’d have hunted you down and… I dunno, either begged you to or knocked you out and strapped a pen to your hand and forged your signature. One of the two."
Junhoe laughs. Hanbin’s brand of humor is… strange. Definitely something to get used to. They’ve had the time. "See, I was afraid you’d go with the latter option and I didn’t want to risk it. Can’t say I regret it, though."
"It’s early days yet," Hanbin agrees with a grin. "It’s good to see you again, Junhoe."
Hanbin’s mood is contagious. "Glad to see you too, hyung." Junhoe means it, too.
If anyone had asked Junhoe years ago where he thought he’d end up working, a tech lab wouldn’t even have crossed his mind. Yet he just entered his identity in SeoulTech's formidable security system, and he was handed an ID card, and someone helped him scan his finger print, and no one’s kicked him out yet.
Junhoe can’t believe it either.
Granted, he’s not here as a scientist because there’s absurd and there’s absurd. No one in their right mind would entrust Junhoe with the tail end of a theory.
No, Junhoe has been in business operations his whole career. He’s … not actually sure what he’s supposed to do here either.
"That’s easy enough to explain," Hanbin says as they sit down for an early lunch in one of the company’s cafeterias. "Look around you. What percentage of the crowd do you think are scientists?"
Junhoe follows the instructions. "The lab coats are a dead giveaway but I know that’s just a stereotype. So… all of them?" Hanbin’s high-five confirms Junhoe’s guess. Either that or he’s amused at Junhoe’s thought process.
"Close enough. Though that’s not actually a good thing in the long run." Hanbin continues his spiel seamlessly. "Don’t get me wrong, isolation works great for directed progress, and there’s merit in being surrounded by one’s peers. But these days? Science doesn’t fund itself. Okay so far?"
Junhoe nods slowly. "I heard the word ‘fund’. That’s kind of related to what I used to do."
Hanbin nods encouragingly. "Business and science are tied to each other in very interesting ways."
This part Junhoe knows. "Business funds the development, science builds or finds something to sell. Highly simplified but that’s the spirit of it, right?"
"Exactly. It’s getting harder and harder to be a scientist purely for the sake of science these days. Progress may be infinite but the budget definitely isn’t. So our beloved company is taking the proverbial next evolutionary step: fill a niche and propagate. But for that, we need a translator. We can provide the development. We need someone who can propose how the company can commercialize it."
"Ah." The syllable of enlightenment. Junhoe gets it now. "You need a business analyst."
"If that’s what it’s called, yes." Hanbin’s smile turns… complicated. "Jinhwan-hyung said you were the best."
Junhoe had been trying hard to avoid thinking about how he and Hanbin knew each other. But maybe it’s inevitable when the groundwork of their relationship would not have existed if it wasn't for Jinhwan. Hearing Hanbin invoke his name lays it open, plain as day: Hanbin was Jinhwan’s roommate’s friend, which somehow morphed into Hanbin becoming Jinhwan’s friend too. It was impossible for Junhoe and Hanbin to be strangers given how close Jinhwan was to both of them.
"Well." Junhoe takes a deep breath. "Guess I’ll have to prove him right, then."
The rest of his first day goes by in a flash. They run into the rest of the team on their way to lunch, Junhoe does his best to remember their names, then all of his effort is flushed down the drain by the onboarding process he has to attend for the rest of the week.
Friday comes, his orientation ends in the afternoon, and before he knows it he’s making his way to the underground labs where the team apparently spends most of their time.
"Perfect timing! We’re about to do a dive, you can see what the team actually works on," Hanbin says over Junhoe’s phone. "We’re in the Parapsychology department, basement level five. There's a golden brain the size of a cow at the entrance of the hall, can’t miss it. Well, you can but I don’t see how you could. Look for the Synchronicity lab, you'll see signs everywhere pointing the way, it’s the door with the cracked panel. Don’t even ask how that happened."
Sure enough, Junhoe just follows the signs hanging from the ceiling and finds exactly what Hanbin described. Hanbin lets him in and the first thing Junhoe asks is, "So what happened to that door?" It earns him a laugh from everyone, two of them even high fiving each other.
"Told you," a woman sitting at one of the computers says smugly. "Never been wrong yet. You all owe me a beer." She’s not wearing a lab coat. None of them are.
A guy with glasses from the other side of the room shakes his head. "I don’t know how you do it, noona. Maybe you should be the psychologist instead."
It earns him an indignant "Hey!" from the tall man still typing on his laptop. Chanwoo, Junhoe thinks. He’s sure because during their run-in at the cafeteria Chanwoo looked at him like he already knew what made Junhoe tick and Junhoe did not like that at all.
Junhoe looks at Hanbin, who’s laughing quietly like he deals with this everyday.
"They like to guess how people will react the first time we invite them down here," Hanbin explains. "Don’t worry. You’re not the first one who asked about the crack upon entering the lab. Hyunyoung-noona has statistics on her side."
"Don’t spill my secrets, boss," says Hyunyoung.
"Right." Junhoe glances around. There should be another girl…
"The others are on their way down here." Hanbin must have seen him looking. (But… ‘others’? Junhoe counted only four people at the cafeteria, not including Hanbin.) "We’re gonna walk you through the actual mechanisms next week. Just watch for now. Write your questions down - I’m sure you’ll have tons of them - but try not to interrupt us. This takes a fair amount of concentration. Hey, Chanwoo, get Junhoe a pen and a notebook, he doesn’t have his laptop yet."
They all look mostly about the same age but the team follows his directions promptly. Chanwoo brings a pen and an empty notepad to Junhoe, Hyunyoung pours all her focus back on her computer, and the guy in glasses brings his laptop over to a whiteboard to make his way down a checklist.
The lab is almost all electronics so Junhoe assumes their projects must be digital. Or at least has very few physical components. There are some stacks of papers, both loose and bound, on a few desks around the room, but most of the mess is on the walls. Or, as it turns out, the walls are covered by enormous whiteboard panes which are in turn covered in untidy handwriting and disorganized Post-its. The guy in glasses - Dongyun? Donghyun? Junhoe’s brain attempts unhelpfully - colonizes a section of a board and starts scribbling. Except for the one wall at the far end of the room, which is uniformly dark gray and completely spotless. The lack of nearby equipment gives Junhoe the impression that the area is off-limits even without any physical obstruction.
All of those are within Junhoe's expectations. The one thing in the room that he can't figure out is a glossy white dome right in the center of the lab. About five meters across, Junhoe notes, with the highest point maybe about shoulder-height. His shoulder. Or Jinhwan’s height, his brain supplies with a silent chuckle.
Hanbin's beside it now, tapping on the plain surface. Spots of green light follow his fingertips.
The lab door opens. Junhoe turns his head to see two more people join them: the missing member of the team, and... Bobby. Which shouldn’t have been unexpected. Junhoe knew Bobby worked for SeoulTech - in fact, Bobby was the one who told Yunhyeong that SeoulTech had an opening that might fit Junhoe’s skills. Junhoe just thought they'd run into each other at the cafeteria or someplace else. Not in the lab where Junhoe will be working.
Bobby must have sensed him staring. "Gu Junhoe," he says, approaching with that cocky gait that irks Junhoe. "Hanbin didn't tell me he's making you hit the ground running. Did you amaze him with your output yet?"
Junhoe smiles awkwardly. "I just finished orientation earlier today. He could end up disappointed for all I know."
"I’m confident in my people skills," Hanbin says, still preoccupied with tapping on the dome like he's entering some sort of code.
"You work for him too?" Junhoe asks.
Bobby shakes his head. He’s not wearing a lab coat either. "Work with him and I’m heavily involved in his project, but I’m not part of his staff. I used to report to his friend when he was still in the Theoretical Physics department. Then our project got upsized into an entirely new department a couple of years ago. Lots of promotions all around. Hanbin’s old team are all supervising their own projects now, but he decided to bring his strengths to Parapsychology instead."
"Ah." Junhoe might have known that before. He’s not sure. He forgot a lot about people over the years. "And you? Leading your own team now, too?"
"Fuck no." Bobby laughs like Junhoe just cracked a joke. "I saw what responsibilities my old boss had to put up with. And what Hanbin’s dealing with now. That is not the life for me."
"And we’re all thankful for it." Hanbin joins them. "I remember the one time Jia-noona put you in charge when she went on vacation and Youngjae was on paternity." He scratches the side of his neck. It pulls at a fine silver chain necklace that’s weighed down by a single cube pendant smaller than half of Junhoe’s thumbnail. Junhoe doesn’t know why it caught his attention. Maybe because he thought Hanbin wasn’t the type to wear jewelry.
"Worst three days of my life," Bobby says breezily, but Junhoe still hears some deep relief beneath the glib. "I did not know what to expect leading a team but it was definitely not that. Still. Grateful for the experience if only to reinforce the fact that no fucking thanks."
"We all live and learn," Hanbin comments in a flat tone. "Your team would get away with way too much while you’re overworked trying to do everyone’s jobs." He looks at the clock. Junhoe sees the shift from chat-mode to work-mode. It’s something Jinhwan was so amused about. "Hyunyoung-noona, how’s the imager program?"
"We’re good," Hyunyoung calls from her desk. "If Bobby’s mindscape is within threshold then we shouldn’t need to recalibrate."
Hanbin nods. "Donghyuk?" (Close enough, Junhoe thinks.)
Donghyuk is back at his desk and staring intently into one of his monitors. "Mindscape program loaded with no issues. We’re just waiting for the dive."
Another nod. "Chanwoo?"
"Brainwave monitor is running nominally. Ready to sync with the diver."
"That’s my queue." Bobby pats Junhoe’s shoulder. Junhoe clamps down on his instinct to recoil. Bobby’s a friend, he reminds himself. "Watch closely. I’m sure you’ll have a lot of questions."
"Boss said the same thing." Junhoe doesn’t know if Bobby heard him. He watches as Bobby enters a gap in the dome that wasn’t there before. That must have been what Hanbin was attending to a while ago. Inside it, Junhoe glimpses what is possibly the most comfortable armchair he can ever imagine, like the pinnacle of technology was used to design the object of ultimate comfort. Bobby settles in, the gap closes, Junhoe wonders if it feels as claustrophobic as it looks from outside.
"Heeyeon-noona?"
"Bridge readings are all normal."
"Alright then." Hanbin takes a deep breath. "Begin synchronization phase." He goes to his desk at the far end of the room, opposite but facing the empty gray wall. His six monitors are displaying green lines squiggling from left to right, glances at each one and doesn’t comment. Junhoe supposes green is good.
"Connected," says Heeyeon. "Initiating sleep simulation… results are green. Confirm that diver is in a semiconscious state?"
"Confirmed," says Chanwoo.
Heeyeon continues. "Synchronizing the Bridge with diver… results are green at ninety-eight percent. Cleared for dive."
Chanwoo takes over. "Brainwaves registered, semiconscious patterns are normal… all results green. Cleared for dive."
"Sculpting the mindscape," says Donghyuk. "Results are green, initiating load… Diver is loading… results are green. Cleared for dive."
Hanbin exhales deeply. He presses his hand against a white panel on his desk, fingers stretched and palm flat. As with the dome, green light outlines the area he’s touching. "Initiating dive."
Instantly, Hyunyoung follows up with, "Imager activated."
Two things happen at the same time.
"Whoa," says Junhoe as a flash of light fills the room.
The first thing he notices is that the dome loses its opacity. Completely. What used to be just a smooth, glossy portion of a white sphere is now completely transparent, leaving only a thin suggestion of near-invisible glass where it used to be. Inside the clear dome Junhoe can see Bobby asleep in the high-tech recliner. He’s surrounded by a faint green tinge with no source Junhoe can discern.
The second thing is that the gray wall turns into a display of an empty mall in such high resolution that for a moment Junhoe’s sure he’s looking out the door of a shop on the ground floor of an atrium. He can’t tell which mall it is; he’s not a mall guy and there have been more and more of them lately. The skylight looks stunning, though, with its crisscrossing steel beams and uneven panes of glass breaking out the night sky beyond into a puzzle of stars.
Junhoe sees a hand reach up like it’s being inspected, which means-
"Boss. Are we seeing things from Bobby’s eyes?" Junhoe’s not one for educated guesses but this one is obvious enough even for him.
"Bobby’s eyes are closed," Hanbin answers with a small smirk. "But yeah. Crudely speaking, I’d say we’re seeing the forefront image in Bobby’s mind as he dreams."
Junhoe gapes in awe, eyes back on the screen. "Holy shit. Can we talk to him?"
"No. That might wake him up. But that dome is soundproof so there’s no need to whisper. I’ll give you better answers later, write your questions down. Donghyuk, give him the signal."
"Got it, boss." Donghyuk types intently on his console.
Now that Junhoe’s paying attention, Donghyuk’s station has a lot more… things than Junhoe’s used to seeing on a desk. Most of them seem like input devices, like keyboards reinvented several times over. Chanwoo’s looking intently at four monitors, each one showing various lines and shapes in green with some very rare yellow, but he’s not otherwise doing anything. Same with Hyunyoung and her three monitors, though she’s focused on one while her hands rest on alert above her keyboard. Heeyeon, for her part, only glances at her three screens every once in a while between long stretches of watching Bobby’s perspective look around on screen.
Donghyuk taps his last key with a loud flourish. "Signal deployed." On screen, the lights in one of the shops in the third floor flickers. Bobby’s perspective shakes up and down for a second. Junhoe realizes he must have nodded.
He heads for the escalators.
Hyunyoung leans back against her seat. "Oh, he’s taking the long way."
But it’s strange. Despite the bright lights and the polished floor and the fancy architecture, Bobby’s excursion reminds Junhoe of the horror games he never got to finish. With every step Bobby takes Junhoe half expects a zombie to lunge out and maul him from out of nowhere.
It’s the silence, Junhoe tells himself. And the emptiness. Malls aren’t meant to be silent and empty.
It doesn't take long for Bobby to get to the right floor. He enters the shop with the flickering light, which steadies as soon as he steps over the threshold. It’s a hobby shop, Junhoe realizes, with how the store is laid out and the various posters on the walls and the displays hanging from the ceiling. But even with the startlingly clear resolution on screen Junhoe finds that he can’t actually make out any of the individual items beyond vague suggestions of shape, size, and color.
Which makes sense. This is a dream. Fine details never made it into his dreams, no matter how lucid he was.
Bobby browses the shelves. It’s almost like he’s actually shopping.
"Are we sure this is the right sector?" Chanwoo asks.
"Yeah," answers Donghyuk calmly. "I double-checked. The plant should be there, somewhere."
Junhoe wonders if he heard that right. "Plant?"
"Green, leafy things? You must have seen some of those," Hanbin mutters, distracted. "But nah. Our counterparts in Krakow planted an artifact that Bobby’s trying to look for. Hence: ‘plant’. None of us know what it actually is in order to avoid data contamination. But… it’s there. Bobby just has to find it."
"How can he find it if he doesn’t know what it is?"
"He’s dreaming," Hanbin reminds him. "You know how things don’t make sense in dreams but things happen anyway? Like... you know things without knowing how you know? Bobby can invoke that in this state. He’ll know it when he sees it."
A dream hobby shop is the perfect place to plant something when nobody knows what it is.
Junhoe hopes it won’t take long. He’s getting kinda hungry.
Bobby’s gone through all of the stacks now. Judging by the way he still keeps looking around, the plant hasn’t made itself known yet.
Heeyeon raises her hand daintily. "We’re sure the other team’s not just pulling our leg? This could be a negative confirmation test."
"Could be," Hanbin mutters to himself.
One of Chanwoo’s monitors beeps softly once. "I think he found something." On screen, Bobby’s looking at a flat expanse of wall at the very back of the shop. Chanwoo’s attention is all on his monitors now. "His scans are showing elevated focus."
Hyunyoung cackles, playfully but with an edge. "Well! We know how special that is for Bobby."
If Junhoe didn’t know he was watching a dream, what happens next would have convinced him he’s watching an exceptionally rendered movie.
Bobby raises his right hand, fingers outstretched, and gestures at the wall like he’s pushing the air away. The wall shatters like glass, revealing bright white light behind it. Bobby performs a twisting motion with his hand, which the shards of wall follow to form a pentagonal spiral leading into the light.
"How the fuck-" is all Junhoe manages to say.
"It’s a dream," Hanbin reminds him absently, but it's not like Junhoe forgot. He knows. But knowing still doesn’t prepare him for sudden warps of reality.
The spiral tunnel stabilizes. Bobby steps up, steps in, and rises off the ground until he’s floating gently dead center of the tunnel’s diameter. He levitates forward at walking pace, attention solidly ahead.
Hyunyoung tuts to herself. Junhoe hears muttered words that sound like "showing off" and "need to upgrade the hardware".
The tunnel opens to a gigantic gray room that Junhoe finds impossible to get his bearings in. There are still traces of the mall in this space’s brutalist design - like escalators and walkways and the occasional indoor bush - but they’re all over the floor and walls, and if Bobby looked up Junhoe’s sure he’d see stairs and walkways on the ceiling too.
Bobby doesn’t seem concerned about the architecture. In the center of the room, elevated just at his level, is a faint red glow. There’s something in the center of the light. Something small. Bobby floats closer and Junhoe realizes it’s a computer chip.
"That’s the one," Hanbin says, shifting his weight between his feet. "Figures that when they said they’d hide it they meant we'd need to reconstruct the dreamscape to find it."
Bobby takes the computer chip in his hand. The glow cools to blue.
Hanbin breathes easier. "Alright. Begin extraction." Then, to Junhoe, grinning proudly. "Did you actually write anything down?"
Junhoe pushes his impressed disbelief aside. "Give me ten minutes and I’ll have a page full of them."
Extracting Bobby turns out to be a prolonged way of waking him up with a sequence similar to when they were booting up the experiment. The dome turns opaque once more, the screen goes gray, the various monitors around the room toggle out of their squiggly green lines. The gap opens and Bobby emerges looking like he had the nap of his life. He and the scientists convene at one of the meeting tables where they studiously take notes about what he can remember about the dream. Junhoe hangs back at one of the empty desks to jot down his observations and initial ideas before they fade away.
It’s all still so esoteric, and Junhoe’s job is to transform the experience into something marketable.
The day ends too quickly, with everyone powering their screens down and packing their laptops into their bags.
"I hope you're hungry," Hanbin tells Junhoe. "This group likes to eat."
Junhoe’s welcome dinner is at the galbi place close to Junhoe’s old apartment. Hanbin had asked for ideas, Junhoe volunteered, and Hanbin agreed that yes, they did serve the juiciest pieces of meat he ever had the fortune of putting in his mouth. That was enough to convince the rest of the team to give it a try.
Now, plied with good food, a fair amount of beer, and the sense of accomplishment after a productive week at work, the talk inevitably turns to Junhoe and what he thinks so far.
"It’s definitely groundbreaking," Junhoe says to expectant smiles around the table. "I don’t know enough yet to make substantive proposals but that imaging technology by itself can already make waves in the entertainment industry." He pauses for Hyunyoung’s victorious ‘ha!’ like she’s been telling everyone the same thing all along. "Like. Movie theaters today are already pretty good at portraying depth on screen but it’s still held back by small aberrations and distortions that can break the immersion experience. What you have in that lab… I felt like I could literally step into the screen and be part of what’s happening in there."
"I would just like to say," Hyunyoung announces proudly to the group, "that Junhoe is a perfect addition to this team and the rest of you can all suck. it."
Chanwoo takes a sip of his beer. It’s amazing how he could compress so much taunting energy into such a small action. "He’s still learning about us. I’m sure he’ll change his mind soon enough. Especially when I walk him through my biometry tech."
"Incidental," Hyunyoung sneers, but it’s all playful.
Donghyuk takes a perfectly grilled cube of beef and puts it on Junhoe’s plate. "Just wait until I show you what my mindscape program can do. Actually… Boss! We should let Junhoe dive at least once-"
"Why dive when I can show him his biometric data in real time?" Chanwoo interrupts.
Hanbin leans back in his seat. He looks content, even proud, when he drains his glass. "You raised those two well," Bobby says from beside Junhoe.
"How about Heeyeon-noona?" Junhoe asks. Donghyuk and Chanwoo’s argument evolves further. "What’s your role in the team?"
Heeyeon smirks confidently. "I designed the bridge."
"The dome thing," Bobby clarifies for Junhoe.
Heeyeon nods. "It’s the single most advanced piece of technology in that room. So. Don’t really need to show it off."
"Heeyeon noona trained with one of the smartest engineers in the lab," Hanbin informs Junhoe. "Yun-hyung taught her a lot of tricks."
"That’s why he’s so bitter you pirated me away from his project."
"Eh. He’ll get over it. He owes me a favor anyway."
Bobby refills Junhoe’s glass. He pours beer like an expert. "Aren’t you gonna ask what I do?"
Junhoe supposes he has to at some point. He’s heard Bobby talk about his job with Yunhyeong several times, but Junhoe always just tuned him out. "I thought you’re not part of the team?"
Bobby picks out a strip of pork from the grill and lets it dangle from his chopsticks. "They hire my services often enough that I’m an honorary member. I’m in their lab maybe one or two days a week. So." He raises the meat to Junhoe’s mouth.
Junhoe doesn’t think it’s cooled enough, but Bobby looks so earnest that Junhoe indulges him anyway. He’s right. "So like. What’s your place in the team, then?" he asks, trying not to grimace as he chews.
"My team are paranauts." Bobby sees the blank look on Junhoe’s face. "We’re sort of… the playtesters of the paratechnology department. The test drivers. I support other projects in the company too, but Hanbin’s is my main assignment. Which is great! I get to sleep at work."
"That’s exactly why I requested you," Hanbin teases him. "Nobody can sleep at work better than you can."
"I’m glad to be recognized for my skills," Bobby agreed with a chuckle.
Junhoe feels like he should be taking notes again. "So like… what exactly is our project for?"
Hanbin raises a toast to Junhoe. "First of all, good job for saying ‘our’, I like the sense of ownership. Second…" Hanbin addresses the rest of the table. "Who wants to brief our new teammate?"
"So how versed are you with psychology?" Donghyuk jumps in right away.
"Knew it," Chanwoo comments. The rest of the team laughs in agreement.
"I took a Psych 101 class in university," Junhoe says. "I passed, but that’s it."
Donghyuk nods. "Right, so-"
"So we’re exploring the nature of the shared unconscious," Heeyeon intervenes. Donghyuk yelps an offended "noona!" while Hyunyoung puts more food on his plate.
Junhoe frowns in the effort of remembering. "I think I remember that. That's the one with the archetypes, right? No, wait, that's 'collective unconscious'. It sounded like an interesting principle."
"Not exactly the same, but it’s a good starting point," Heeyeon says. "The collective unconscious was pioneered by Carl Jung as the common unconscious mind genetically inherited by all humanity. Which… has its place in some branches of psychology, but ultimately it’s a theoretical concept as of now."
"Right." More memories of Junhoe’s classes resurface but not enough to add to the conversation.
Heeyeon nods and takes a drink. Donghyuk seizes the opportunity. "The technology we built is based on that concept, except that we expanded on it enough that it’s no longer the same. So we’re calling it the 'shared unconscious'. See, despite the name, the collective unconscious still ultimately refers to individual manifestations of the unconscious from a collective human template." Donghyuk grins excitedly, like sharing knowledge is the best thing in the world. He talks like a professor. Junhoe wouldn’t find him out of place in a lecture hall. "It doesn’t actually talk about a shared mental space between individual minds. Our project changes that."
Junhoe processes the words quietly. Then the penny drops. "Wait." He puts his chopsticks down. "Wait."
Donghyuk radiates enthusiasm. Junhoe finds himself wanting to go back to the lab and see everything again. "We found a space that individual minds can enter through a dream. A shared space when we’re unconscious. Hence: shared unconscious."
Junhoe gapes. "Holy fuck."
"Exactly," says Chanwoo. "Mind you, it’s not every dream that happens in the dreamscape."
"Shared unconscious," insists Donghyuk.
"Most of the time we dream in our individual unconscious," Chanwoo continues, "filled with nothing but the contents of our own minds. But the actual dreamscape-" Donghyuk frowns irritably "-can be shaped. Manipulated. And these manipulations can be manifested in other people’s dreams."
"That’s what we were testing earlier." Hanbin takes the last pieces of meat off the grill and turns the heat off. Nobody’s eating anymore. "It’s part of a series of experiments to prove that the dreamscape-"
"Shared- never mind, I give up," Donghyuk mutters to himself. Hyunyoung sticks her tongue out at him.
"-really is shared. They planted an artifact-"
"The computer chip," Junhoe clarifies.
Hanbin nods. "Yes, that. There’s a lot more nuance there, they didn’t plant it as a computer chip. What they planted was a dream artifact that could unfold into knowledge. It just manifested as a computer chip in Bobby's dream."
"I like technology," Bobby says simply.
"The fact that Bobby found it adds another data point that corroborates the hypothesis, but the test isn't complete yet. Now it’s up to Bobby to decode what’s actually stored in that artifact."
"It’s not instantaneous?" Junhoe asks.
"It’s not a conscious transfer of information," Donghyuk reminds him. "We can’t even transfer rational information, like numbers or names or… anything specific. Or at least, not yet. Maybe in the future? But right now it’s a lot like… remembering more and more details about a dream you had."
Bobby takes their pitcher of beer and pours the remains into his glass. "It’ll happen on its own over the weekend. Is he allowed to join the confirmation sync on Monday?" he asks Hanbin.
"Junhoe’s part of the team now, so yes." Hanbin stacks his plates and glass neatly. "Donghyuk has a point: it would help a lot if Junhoe experiences it too. We’ll see when we can schedule your dive if you’re up for it. The sooner, the better."
Junhoe feels the excitement fill his lungs.
Bobby pats his shoulder. "Think about it carefully, though. Dreams can be fickle. You can learn a lot about yourself that you never wanted to face."
Saturday comes with Junhoe waking up past noon and wondering if getting out of bed is even worth it. His initial answer is 'no', but that's just base impulse. It takes fifteen minutes of repeating that he only went to the office this week for him to muster enough willpower to sit up and throw his blanket off.
Jinhwan's picture on his desk feels like an encouragement. A comforting routine. Junhoe heads for the shower.
The thought bubbles up fifteen seconds into his shampoo: he hasn’t cared that it’s Saturday in a while. He hasn’t cared that he needs to make the most of his day since…
Well. Since Jinhwan hyung.
It’s been a year and a half of days blending into each other with the barest of routines. A year and a half of cycling through the gym, therapy, and home, with the occasional trips to the supermarket when he lets Yunhyeong cajole him into doing something different. He didn’t care about his days. Didn’t see the point of them.
That's not how he feels now. And he doesn’t want to go back.
Junhoe rinses his hair. The memory washes off like bubbles of shampoo.
"What’s on for tonight?" Junhoe calls out to the kitchen.
"Either something with explosions," Yunhyeong answers loudly over the sizzle of oil, "or something with giant monsters."
Junhoe thinks about that. "You know, the latter usually means the former, hyung. That’s not a lot of choices." It’s a stark difference from last week’s romance criteria, and the 'something poignant' the week before that.
"You pick, then!"
"I want fight scenes," Junhoe decides. Which means action movies. Which could also include explosions and giant monsters. Top of mind, Junhoe remembers one movie that can satisfy all three criteria. "Hey, hyung, how do you feel about rewatching one of the classics?"
Sunday night is movie night. Rituals are important, especially personal ones. And one of the few rituals Junhoe holds close to his heart is movie nights with Yunhyeong. What started as a way for Yunhyeong to inject some dopamine into Junhoe’s life two years ago became one of the only constants Junhoe held on to as a lifeline - a rare source of comfort that he knew was always going to be there.
It gave him structure. Something to look forward to when he needed it most.
Yunhyeong comes back with a bowl of fries and a plate of fried chicken. The smell hits Junhoe right in the gut.
"Ugh. Marry me, hyung." Yunhyeong’s laughter is one of the purest sounds Junhoe has ever heard, a sound Junhoe wouldn't mind hearing over and over again.
"Someone has dibs on that," Yunhyeong says, putting their snacks on the coffee table, "but you’re first in line if he doesn’t push through with it. Since you asked so nicely and all."
"Oh wow." Junhoe reaches for a drumstick. He yelps and drops it right away. "Hot."
"Teach your appetite to wait, man."
Junhoe wipes his fingers on his shirt. "You waiting for Bobby to propose already?"
"It’s too early for that." Yunhyeong’s cheeks tinge red. Not much, but it’s there. "We’re just enjoying each other’s company for now. And we both have things we want to cross off our lists before getting into something serious."
"He’s lucky you’re willing to wait for him. He joined our team dinner last Friday, by the way."
"Yeah, he mentioned." Yunhyeong ruffles Junhoe’s hair like he’s five years old. Or maybe a dog. He joked several times that Junhoe seeks attention like a labrador retriever. "He also said you’re warming up pretty nicely to your teammates. Did you make any new friends?"
"You’re asking like I’m a kid on my first day of school."
"I’ll be honest: it does kinda feel that way."
"Hey!"
"And I’m a very proud hyung." Yunhyeong reaches out to pinch Junhoe’s cheeks but Junhoe swipes his hands away laughing. "Man, I miss starting something new. The excitement. The possibilities. The things you can get away with if you're careful."
Junhoe scrunches his nose. "The awkward introductions. The many new things you have to learn. The wonder if things are going to work out."
"There’s the eternal optimism that you’ve become known for."
Junhoe pouts petulantly.
"Maybe I should start a new hobby or something. Since my lovely baby brother is gonna get busy." Yunhyeong hums in contemplation. "I wonder if Bobby’s open to skydiving."
"Holy shit, that’s what you came up with? I retract my marriage proposal!"
"Nope. No take backs."
Junhoe feigns judgment. He knows his face lends well to communicating disdain. "Better Bobby than me, then! Poor guy. He has no idea what he's getting himself into. Maybe I should warn him. Since we're starting to be friends and all." He enters his movie idea for the night into the search bar.
Yunhyeong takes a chicken wing, now cool enough to handle. "Pacific Rim? Huh. Good choice."
"Can't go wrong with a classic." Junhoe grins and presses play. "Meets all the criteria and it’s easy to watch."
Rituals bring structure, and structure brings comfort. Sometimes the most comforting thing to do is laze on a couch with a close friend and watch giant robots fight monsters.
He’s about to climb into bed when the framed picture on his desk catches his attention.
The first thing he sees everyday.
Junhoe takes a deep breath, then another, and turns the picture away.
"So, some good news!" Hanbin takes the seat across the break table. "InfoTech’s ready to issue your laptop since you completed the orientation. Is that coffee?"
Junhoe shakes his head. "Hot chocolate. Want some? I have another packet in my bag." He’s seated by the table right beside the door. There are bags or purses on the work desks but none of the people who own them are present. Maybe there are morning rituals Junhoe needs to catch up on.
"Ah, thanks but I’ll pass for now. I have a standing coffee break with an old teammate every Monday morning. Which reminds me." Hanbin sits straighter. "Orientation covered general company rules, right? Wait, of course they did. Well, in addition to those there are also lab-specific rules, and one of ours is no food or drink beyond the red line." He points to the tape encircling their table about two meters away. "That includes snacks of any kind. And water. I know it sounds strict but the bridge has some extremely sensitive sensors and we don’t want even the tiniest risk of crumbs or spillage. Okay?"
Junhoe nods. "I read the rules. They’re taped to the door." Junhoe points over his shoulder. "Hence why I’m having my chocolate here at the break table. Where’s everyone?"
Hanbin shrugs. "Somewhere. Monday morning is usually social time. Not company policy, per se, more like... company culture. Helps people recalibrate after the weekend, sort of easing back into work mode. It’s also everyone’s chance to catch up with friends or acquaintances from other departments. We encourage collaborative thinking so that means opening avenues to share ideas."
"Ah. Guess I’ll have to make friends, then." Junhoe taps a finger against his tumbler. "Is there more good news?"
"Right. Yes." Hanbin opens an email on his phone and shows it to Junhoe. "We’re seven hours ahead of Krakow, which means we were already off work by the time they reviewed and responded to the initial dive results we sent last Friday. I scheduled Bobby’s debriefing sync first thing when they come in. That’s four in the afternoon our time. Which means…" Hanbin swipes to his calendar app. "We have a few hours for you to try a dive. Nothing as complex as Bobby’s, and realistically the most you can do in that time is to calibrate an isolated mindscape anyway."
"Calibrate?" That doesn’t sound fun.
"Donghyuk’s mindscape program is very sensitive. Bobby’s calibration won’t work for you."
"I don't want to add more work for Donghyuk. I’m sure he has tons of things to do."
"Nah. It’ll be good for him. It’s been a while since he calibrated someone. He can do with the refresher." Hanbin’s phone beeps. "Nine thirty… we still have about half an hour before work really starts. Do you want to join me for coffee at the micro-canteen? I’m meeting Choi Youngjae, if you remember him."
Youngjae, who works for SeoulTech. Jinhwan’s old roommate. The one who introduced Jinhwan and Hanbin in the first place. Of course Junhoe remembers him.
Junhoe looks up from his hot chocolate and sees the caution in Hanbin’s eyes. The guarded sadness. It’s a gentle offer of kindness, he’s just not sure how Junhoe will take it.
Junhoe isn’t the same broken man from when Youngjae saw him last.
He drains the last of his chocolate and meets Hanbin’s gaze straight. "Haven’t seen Youngjae hyung in a while. It would be great to catch up."
There’s suspiciously too much relief in Hanbin’s smile. "Good. Because I do think his son is cute and all but there’s only so many baby pictures I can take, so thank you for taking the hit!"
"Wait- that’s not-"
"-and look!" Youngjae squeals, swiping to another video of little Yoojoon. "His first ice cream! He has such a sweet tooth, I’m gonna have to keep him away from candies when he gets older." Junhoe watches the baby grab the ice cream with his bare hands and press it hard against his mouth. The video shakes, almost unwatchable, as Youngjae-hyung’s laughter escalates.
"He’s cute," Junhoe repeats for the fourth time in seven minutes. He still means it, but… he’s usually careful to keep a distance from babies and their enthusiasts. "Adorable, really."
Youngjae swipes at his phone once more. "And look at this one, he looks so natural dressed as a king-"
"I think that’s enough for one day," Hanbin interrupts, setting Youngjae’s caramel latte on the table. He settles into the last vacant seat.
"Aww!"
"No, he’s cute!" Junhoe insists. Youngjae takes one look at Junhoe’s expression and laughs. "Adorable," Junhoe says again, feebly.
"Alright, alright," concedes Youngjae, putting his phone back in his pocket. "You’re not having anything?"
Junhoe shakes his head. "Caffeine and I aren’t friends."
"Wise choice. Don’t get into the habit. It’ll ruin your life." Youngjae drinks deeply and aah’s in satisfaction. Junhoe notices a familiar silver chain around Youngjae’s neck, weighed down by the same silver cube. "It’s too late for me and your boss, we’re bad examples."
"The worst," Hanbin agrees after a long draft of his americano. His own necklace is inside his shirt, but Junhoe can see the chain looping around to the back of Hanbin’s neck. "We’re hopeless."
Huh.
Youngjae takes out a box of sugar cookies from his backpack. "Homemade by the wife. She saw a cookie decorating video that she couldn’t wait to try. Have some!"
Hanbin helps himself to a strawberry-shaped one. "How’s Suzy-noona? Academic life treating her well?"
"Depends on her mood when you ask her. Most of the time she says it’s great. But not when she’s grading papers. She says papers are the worst part of teaching. But the university is keeping her happy, especially with how well her new book is doing." There’s no mistaking the pride in Youngjae’s voice. "Broke into the bestseller list last week. I had no idea so many people were interested in highly simplified theoretical physics."
"So elitist," Hanbin jokes.
"You met Suzy, right?" Youngjae asks Junhoe.
"Couple of times." Junhoe remembers finding her incredibly pretty. Intimidatingly pretty. "Didn’t get to talk to her, though."
"Ah, that’s too bad. Maybe when her schedule lightens up a bit we can have you guys over for dinner. You can meet Yoojoon too so he can see a handsome face for a change."
"I’ve met Yoojoon," Hanbin says, indignant.
Youngjae drinks more coffee. "Yeah, you have."
Junhoe feels bad for laughing. Just a bit.
"More importantly," Youngjae continues, still smirking, "it’s wonderful to see you here, Junhoe. I didn’t believe Hanbin when he said he got you to interview for his team. Which was a mistake, I should have listened to him so I could snag you for my project instead."
"I don’t know why I’m even friends with you," Hanbin tones in, offended.
"It’s been great so far. Really thankful for the opportunity." Junhoe means every word. "Although I never thought I’d end up in a technology institute, you know? I’d always been in the world of business and finance."
"Much more marketable skills than what a lot of us here have," Youngjae points out. "And Hanbin only hires the best, so I’m sure you fit right in." He leans in, all conspiratorial. "If he enters his harridan mode, let me know, okay? We’re opening our own business analyst position soon."
"Youngjae." Hanbin sounds so unimpressed.
"Actually." Junhoe clears his throat. He’s dredging up some memories. Ones that he used to just keep buried. "I wanted to thank you, Youngjae-hyung. And uh. Apologize. I know I promised I’d help sort through Jinhwan-hyung’s things when he… y’know. But I just disappeared on you."
Junhoe didn’t know it was possible for Youngjae’s face to grow kinder. "It was a difficult time. For a lot of people, but especially for you. I’m just glad the Junhoe that Jinhwan-hyung was so fond of is back. I know he would have been proud to see you here too."
Junhoe drinks Youngjae’s words slowly, lets the warmth pool in his chest and lift a lingering heaviness from his mind.
It’s strange because he already knows Jinhwan would have been proud of him, he knows Jinhwan would have been right there celebrating with him the moment Junhoe heard the good news. But the affirmation from Jinhwan’s closest friends is what Junhoe needed to hear so he could believe it himself.
They stop by the InfoTech main office for Junhoe’s equipment. Hanbin even waits for him while the tech guy sets up his laptop’s profile and security.
"This part I wasn’t looking forward to," Junhoe says, getting used to the weight of his new backpack on their way back to the lab. "It’s too small to carry my gym stuff in. Guess I’ll just have to carry my duffel bag on workout days too."
Hanbin sighs wistfully. "Man, I miss having dedicated time for working out. My workload varies so much every week that it’s hard to get used to a schedule."
"The supervisor life isn’t as glamorous as it appears, huh?"
"Hah, I wish it had glamor! But no, it’s all meetings and reports and more meetings and more reports… I don’t know how my old boss did it. He made it look glamorous somehow. Wish I knew where he is now so I can ask for tips."
They walk past the giant golden brain, take the first right turn, then the first left, and at the end of the hall is the cracked door with ‘Synchronicity’ embossed in bronze above it.
"How did that door get cracked?" Junhoe asks. "Nobody actually answered me."
Hanbin chuckles like he's reliving a fond memory. "Get Chanwoo drunk sometime. It’s not his proudest moment. We requested to have the panel replaced but it’s currently low priority since it didn't actually compromise the door's integrity." He lifts his badge to the scanner, waits for the beep, and lets them both in. Everyone’s already at work with… whatever it is they're doing. Except for Bobby, but Junhoe supposes that’s normal since he’s really from another team.
"Anything on fire?" Hanbin asks the room at large. No response. That’s a good thing.
Hyunyoung takes her glasses off and rubs the side of her forehead as they pass her desk. "We’re preparing for the sync this afternoon. The imager program is fine, but I just reviewed the metadata from last Friday’s dive and I really need to figure out how to trim these simulation files down. I can’t figure out how to do it without sacrificing fidelity."
Hanbin nods thoughtfully. "How urgent is it?"
"Not yet. For now, at least. The mainframe can still handle it but it’s never too early to start guarding against file bloat. I'll keep working at it but I can't promise I'll find an answer."
"Alright. Let me know if you need help, okay?"
"Will do, boss."
Junhoe’s desk is beside Donghyuk’s. He remembers it was full of stacked papers last week. Now it’s clean and bare. And smells faintly of lemon-scented disinfectant.
"Hi!" Donghyuk greets him.
"Hey," Junhoe responds with notably less enthusiasm.
Donghyuk grins. He’s very friendly. Junhoe doesn’t do well with practical strangers being this friendly to him right away. "How was your weekend?"
"It was okay." On the other hand… Junhoe does need to make new friends. He can’t keep burdening Yunhyeong with his nonstop chatter, and here's someone who's making it easy to have a conversation. "I just went to the gym. Hung out at a mall. Uh. You?"
Donghyuk shrugs like there’s nothing special to talk about. "Oh, the usual. Partied on Saturday, woke up lost and confused on Sunday." Junhoe’s eyebrows raise high. "But hey, I managed to get back home in time for a good night’s sleep before the work week started again. And I found my credit card eventually, so. Nothing too wild."
"You and I have very different definitions of wild."
Hanbin comes back from his brief catch up with Heeyeon. Chanwoo follows at his heels. Behind them, Junhoe can see the dome - the bridge - already has its door open. "Do you two have any call outs for the sync?"
"I’m all good," says Donghyuk. "Mindscape worked perfectly."
"And I never have anything to call out," says Chanwoo flatly.
"Right." Hanbin pats Junhoe’s shoulder. "Donghyuk, you’re right. Junhoe needs to experience a dive so he can do his job properly. I know it takes three days to do a comprehensive calibration. How much time will we shave off if we’re not going to expose him to the full dreamscape in the first place?"
Donghyuk blinks as he processes the question. "If we’re not going to load him into the shared unconscious then we can calibrate his isolated mindscape in, say… two, three hours. I mean, the mindscape profile won’t be ready by then but the compiler will have enough data to generate the whole thing by tomorrow."
Hanbin glances at the clock. It’s half past ten. Plenty of time. "Chanwoo, how long to get his biometry into the system?"
"Three days at least," Chanwoo answers shortly. "And that’s under controlled conditions. One afternoon of readings just won’t be enough to get Junhoe’s healthy state range." He taps a finger loudly on Junhoe’s desk. "But if Donghyuk’s not going to load him into the dreamscape anyway, I can just use the base range we collected from the paranauts. It’s not commonly used but it’s within protocol for an isolated dive."
"Then that’s your focus for the day." Hanbin’s phone beeps. "Goddammit. I need to be upstairs. You guys need anything from me?" The scientists and Junhoe shake their heads. "Alright. You know how to reach me." And with that, he’s off.
"I am definitely not meant for that career path," Donghyuk says with a laugh. He turns his chair to face Junhoe. "Looks like you get to sleep at work today."
Junhoe grins gamely. "I knew this was a great place to work for."
The bridge feels claustrophobic in its opaque state, and it's definitely too small for Junhoe to stand straight in. But he’s right about one thing: sitting in that chair brought Junhoe to levels of relaxation that he never knew were possible.
They could make serious money selling these.
"When I count to zero," he hears Donghyuk’s voice through a speaker by his ear, "the bridge will apply a series of vibration stimuli that will bring you to a semiconscious state. Your sense of time will be off track since we’re still calibrating. You know how you can dream an entire day’s narrative in a thirty-minute nap? Kind of that same logic but in reverse."
"Lucid dreaming, right?" Junhoe asks out loud.
"Yup. Chanwoo and I will do the work in the background. Just… do what you normally do when you dream. But keep it clean, okay? Even if Hyunyoung-noona isn’t imaging or recording it."
Junhoe grimaces. "You’re disgusting."
"Three," is how Donghyuk responds. "Two. One." Junhoe takes a deep breath. "Ze-"
He’s sinking through a pitch-black sea.
Maybe that’s why they call it a dive. A part of Junhoe remembers that he can’t swim and yet he doesn’t feel panicked at all.
He looks around at the expanse of blackness. The light from above isn’t bright enough to illuminate the deep. He doesn’t know what he’s sinking through, what he’s sinking into, or even if there’s anything below him at all. Maybe he’ll just be sinking forever. He can’t remember how long he’s already been sinking for.
And yet…
And yet, there are others here. Around him. Just out of sight, hidden in the dark. Or hiding, perhaps? Did the difference even matter?
Junhoe gathers enough of himself to form a coherent thought: "Maybe I don’t want this after all."
"You’ll be fine," says Jinhwan’s voice. Is he hiding out there somewhere? Or did Junhoe just hear that in his own head? But this is all in his head, he reminds himself. This is… an experiment. A controlled dream.
He remembers the lab. He remembers the fancy chair.
Maybe it wouldn’t feel as scary if he wasn’t alone.
"Hyung?" he calls out. Aloud or not? He can’t tell.
"Hey," Jinhwan answers him, sounding closer than before.
"Hyung, I’m scared. Can you stay with me, please?"
"Of course."
A hand reaches out from the shadows, followed by a heavily tattooed arm. Junhoe reaches out for it and grips tight. The dark pulls back just enough to show Jinhwan in front of him, eyes warm and smile reassuring.
Another part of his mind thinks maybe he shouldn't be relying on Jinhwan again. Reminds him that he was doing so well these last few days, and this definitely feels like a step backward.
Junhoe shoves that voice to the back of his mind.
"Stay with me, hyung," Junhoe asks.
"I will." It sounds like a promise.
Imperceptible time passes. Junhoe doesn’t know how much further he sinks. The other presences in the dark persist long enough that they no longer bother him. He doesn’t know how long he keeps holding Jinhwan’s hand, but at least this Jinhwan doesn’t insist he let go because he needs his hand to do other things.
Something tugs at him. Like a physical sensation of being gently disturbed.
Jinhwan looks up at the light above. "I think they want you back out there."
Junhoe follows his gaze. "I don’t want to."
"You should," Jinhwan says firmly.
"I don’t want to." Junhoe's stubborn. Everyone knows this. He looks back at Jinhwan. "Come with me?"
Jinhwan chuckles. "Are you still a kid, Gu Junhoe?"
"If I say yes, would you come with me?" Another tug, much stronger this time. Junhoe grips Jinhwan’s hand tighter and wills himself to rise from the deep. There’s no sense of speed in this sea, but it still feels like he’s reaching the surface far faster than it took him to reach the depths. "Stay with me, hyung. As long as you can."
Jinhwan doesn’t say anything. But he doesn’t let go, either.
The light grows closer and closer, not growing any brighter but keeping more of the darkness at bay.
He feels an emergence, a surfacing, a sensation of his head breaking through water-
Junhoe opens his eyes to whiteness all around. Not light. Whiteness.
The dome. The bridge. Right.
"Junhoe?" Donghyuk’s voice prods from the speaker.
"I’m awake." His voice doesn’t sound as groggy as he feels. He just wants to stay in this chair forever. "Can we extend the calibration or something?"
Donghyuk laughs knowingly. "That chair, huh? I tell you, I’ll take that over my bed any day. But you have to get up, man, we’re done with your calibration."
Junhoe huffs in disappointment. He doesn’t know how he does it but somehow he finds the will to step off the recliner and walk, hunkered down, out of the gap. Heeyeon, whose desk is right beside the bridge, flashes a wordless smile at him before continuing with her work.
He finds Bobby waiting for him at his desk.
"How was your first taste of a dive?" Bobby asks. He sounds eager, like introducing a friend to a shared hobby, but his eyes look… guarded. Cautious, maybe. Or wary.
Junhoe doesn’t know how to answer that. He hasn't experienced anything like it before. "It was… something." It's like his head is stuffed with cotton. He looks at Donghyuk. "Did everything go okay?"
"Huh?" Donghyuk doesn’t even look up from his screen. "Yeah, we got the data we need, I’m queueing the mindscape program to run overnight. We should have a working mindscape tomorrow for a real dive."
"Chanwoo," Bobby calls out across the room. "How’s Junhoe’s biometry?"
"Within baseline, hyung," Chanwoo answers.
Bobby nods. He looks at Junhoe again. More open now. Maybe he was just worried. "Did you bring anything back from your trip?"
"Ha ha," Junhoe says instead of actually laughing. He sits heavily on his chair and rests his head on his desk. "I kinda feel really tired for some reason." Bobby presses two fingers against the side of Junhoe’s neck. Checking his temperature, probably. Junhoe would have snarled at the physical contact but the warmth of Bobby's hand feels comforting.
"That happens sometimes after a dive," Bobby reassures him. "It’s partly a stress reaction, partly psychosomatic. That chair is insanely comfy but it doesn’t change the fact that you were stuck in a semi-conscious state for hours." Hours? Junhoe glances at the clock. It’s just past three in the afternoon. "Plus, you missed lunch. So."
"Fuck. Lunch. Yeah." He raises his head and looks back at the bridge. The gap is closed once more. "Chanwoo said my biometry was normal, though."
"Chanwoo’s equipment stopped reading you the moment you got out of the chair. He can’t measure delayed reactions. Maybe you should head home." Bobby looks serious. "Get some rest. You just went through something completely unfamiliar, you’re allowed to process it."
It sounds so tempting. "Don’t we have that sync at four?"
"It’s not a big deal." Bobby dials Hanbin on his phone and puts him on speaker. "Hey, Bin? Junhoe just finished calibrating."
"Good." Hanbin sounds harried. "Fuck I hate Mondays afternoons specifically. Everything normal?"
"Donghyuk and Chanwoo said everything went well. I think Junhoe should take the rest of the day off, though. Speaking as your paranaut."
"Right. Should we bring him to the clinic?"
"No need," Bobby insists. "He just needs time to process. The first dive isn’t easy for anyone, even if it’s just for calibration."
Hanbin hums thoughtfully. "That is true... Alright. Can I speak to him?"
"Boss," says Junhoe. He sounds weak and he hates it. "I can stay."
"Hearing you now? I agree with Bobby. Do you feel good enough to go home? Should we get a cab?"
"Um." Junhoe thinks hard about the question.
"I’m getting him a cab," Bobby decides for them.
Junhoe doesn’t remember the ride home. He knows he got into a car, and there are vague recollections of dozing off repeatedly in the backseat. Bobby must have given the driver the address.
His next solid thought is trying to remember the code to his apartment and keying it thrice before he gets in.
Everything from the door to his bed is just a blur. The last thing he registers is his head hitting his pillow.
It’s the same dream again.
That same motel from the dozen times in the past - maybe more - that Junhoe finds himself in, standing in front of a door with a spiral pattern instead of a number. That same feeling of keys in his hand, familiar in its shape even though Junhoe hasn't held a physical key in-
He’s dreaming. He runs his fingers through the key's cuts, taking comfort in its roughness and jagged edges.
Like in countless dreams before, Junhoe inserts the key and turns the knob in one motion. The door swings open with a familiar creak to-
It’s his bedroom. In Yunhyeong’s apartment. Looking like Yunhyeong bugged him into cleaning with the bed being made, the floor empty of discarded clothes, the stuff on his desk arranged in neat little rows. A fresh breeze wafts in through the open window.
The door closes behind him.
"Have you actually learned to clean up after yourself?" a voice asks, all too familiar in its texture and cadence.
Junhoe turns around. Jinhwan is here. In his bedroom. In his dream.
Jinhwan looks around some more. "No, come to think of it, all this tidiness has Yunhyeong written all over it."
"No," Junhoe says. "I clean up now, hyung. I’ve learned since… Since you."
Thunder booms, loud enough to startle them both. Junhoe looks at the window, shut tight to keep the pouring rain out.
Jinhwan walks over to Junhoe’s desk. Inspects the picture of himself and Junhoe on the Ferris wheel, him smiling brightly while Junhoe looks like he’d rather be anywhere else. "You really didn’t have to go on this with me. But I appreciate that you did anyway."
Junhoe recalls the horror of realizing Jinhwan would not be deterred from climbing into that gondola with a see-through floor that would be lifted eighty-five meters from the ground. It was a defining moment of how he knew Jinhwan. A defining moment of how he felt about Jinhwan. "The hanwoo beef dinner you treated me to made the experience worth it."
"Did it really?"
"No. But." Junhoe smiles shyly. "You kissing me after did.."
Jinhwan laughs brightly. "I wanted to kiss you when we were at the peak, actually. But you looked like you were dying whenever you looked down. I didn’t want to associate that moment with our first kiss." He puts the picture back down. Then, thoughtfully, turns it so it faces Junhoe’s bed. "There. So my smile will be the first thing you see when you wake up."
Junhoe loses his cheer at that. Because even in this dream he remembers why he turned the picture around. Because seeing it every day just kept hurting him over and over again.
"I miss you, hyung," Junhoe whispers. He doesn’t know if Jinhwan heard him. "I miss you so much."
Maybe he did. Jinhwan looks at him, fondness in his eyes, and says-
"Are you okay?"
Junhoe’s eyes startle open.
Yunhyeong is sitting on his bed, his face heavy with concern. "Sorry, I thought you were awake, I heard you talking- Bobby called me and said you weren’t feeling well."
"I’m…" Junhoe sits up and rests his head in his hands. "I’m okay, I was just… I’m okay, hyung. Sorry for worrying you."
He feels Yunhyeong ruffle his hair. Softly, gently. "I’m gonna make dinner. Rice porridge?"
"I’m not sick, hyung."
"Okay." Yunhyeong stands up. "Lamb chops?"
Junhoe beams brightly at him. Or at least as brightly as he can muster. "Sounds tasty. I’ll be there in a minute to help out." Yunhyeong squeezes Junhoe’s shoulder softly before leaving.
Fuck.
That dream can go fuck itself, it felt so real.
Junhoe curls up into his knees and focuses on breathing. Deep breaths to anchor himself, stabilize himself, bring back the better place he worked hard to reach.
It was just a dream.
He doesn’t know how long he takes - definitely longer than the minute he said he’d need - but eventually he feels ready enough to raise his head to Jinhwan’s bright smile.
He realizes what he’s looking at.
The picture of Jinhwan smiling bright as the midday sun while Junhoe looks like blood drained from his face.
He’s looking at it from his bed.