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Huaisang sits at his desk chair and studies the boy in his bed. He was nice enough. He offered to pay for dinner even though Huaisang invited him out, and he insisted on paying for the taxi back to Huaisang’s apartment. He didn’t fuss about condoms or boundaries or anything, and all things considered, Huaisang could almost see himself dating the guy. Kit. A nice name, a nice boy. Huaisang will have to let him down gently. He might even try to come up with something more than the it’s not you line, even if that’s the truth.
It’s not Kit, or any of the other boys Huaisang has brought home in the last year and a half. They’re just not him. They’re not Jiang Cheng, and it’s not their fault.
Outside, the wind picks up and a spray of rain clattering along the awnings shakes him from his daze. He shivers in the sudden cold, but he can’t quite bring himself to get back into bed.
The boy shifts and turns over, reaching for Huaisang, and when he finds the bed empty, he wakes and sits up.
“Hey.” His voice, like everything about him, is warm and gentle. “Are you okay?”
“Mmm,” Huaisang responds, not trusting his voice.
“Do you want me to go so you can get some sleep?”
“No.” Huaisang clears his throat before he continues. “No, stay. I just didn’t want to wake you while I tossed and turned.”
“Okay.” He smooths out the covers. “Do you want to come back to bed? Since I’m already awake? Not,” he rushes on, and Huaisang is charmed to see in the dim light that filters in from the street lamp that Kit is blushing, “that I have any expectations. It’s just, you won’t wake me up. Since I’m, y’know, already awake.”
“Okay.” Huaisang stands. He had put on an old hoodie when he got up, and he pulls it over his head and tosses it aside. Kit tracks the movement hungrily, but he makes no move to touch Huaisang when he gets into bed. Huaisang smiles as he climbs into bed and settles over Kit’s waist. He bends forward, strands of his long hair falling around his face. Kit tucks one behind Huaisang’s ear. Huaisang leans down and kisses him. He ignores the tap and sigh of the rain, ignores the thudding of his own heart, and smiles at the boy beneath him.
“I meant it,” Kit says, even as he holds onto Huaisang’s waist. “I don’t have any expectations.”
“Will you take what I’m offering?” Huaisang asks.
“Oh, fuck, yes,” Kit says, rising up to meet him in a kiss.
It’s alright, Huaisang thinks. He’ll just be very careful about what he offers this boy. He can pretend for just a little longer. And then Kit rolls Huaisang onto his back, and he can stop thinking entirely, at least for one more night.