Chapter Text
Like every other lunchtime, I sit in the library.
Hey, it’s like my sanctum. It’s the only place where I feel like I can be myself, it’s the only place where I feel comfortable.
Not outside, in the playground, with the other kids. Not at home, with my parents who keep on encouraging me to play with the other kids, be more sociable.
Excuse my language. I shouldn’t say ‘kids’, after all, I am already sixteen, and I wouldn’t say that people of my own age are ‘kids’. Maybe the term I shall refer to them in the future should be… ‘adolescents’. That doesn’t sound so bad.
Anyway, like I was saying the library is my safe place. No one bothers me here, and I can spend tons of time getting lost in the books that surround me. Call me a nerd all you want, but books are awesome. Fiction or non-fiction, I read them all. The good thing about fiction is that I can escape reality for a very long time, placing myself in an imaginative world, whether it be with dragons, superheroes, or fairies. Really, I like them all. And the good thing, I guess, about non-fiction is that you build a huge database of random information that is really interesting. Like, hey, did you know that a year in Venus is longer than a day? Or, um, did you know that polar bears can eat as much as like 85 penguins in one meal? That’s a lot of penguins, now I come to think of it. I feel a little bad for them.
But the sad truth is: who cares? No one wants to know how many calories you lose if you bang your head against the wall for an hour. Well, in case you do want to know, it’s 150. But yeah, no one cares.
But that doesn’t stop me from finding all about these small things. Hey, it’s my source of amusement! It’s a lot better than what kids, ahem, adolescents these days do in their free time. They just spend all their time on their phones, it’s kind of sad. One day, they will all be wearing glasses like me. And then the meanies can no longer make fun of me for having four eyes or something. That just makes no sense anyway, I don’t even get why that is a thing! Having glass in front of your eyes does not make you have extra eyes. Having four eyes would be quite cool, I suppose. If I ignore the fact that it would make me look like an absolute freak, I will have like what, 5 times more vision. Plus, I will get to see what’s behind me, so I can see whoever’s sneaking up behind me for an RKO or whatever those cool kids call them. Not that I have ever got RKOed before, thankfully. I know it’s a thing because I see the jocks doing that on other jocks sometimes. Sometimes it is just for banter, and they don’t do it with intent to hurt. Other times… just ouch. I stay far away from them, some of them can be quite mean.
Oh, I just realised that I have not introduced myself yet. I’m Lexa. Lexa Woods. I am sixteen, and I am currently in eleventh grade, or junior year of Arkadia High. I have finals coming up next year, and while I should be revising and consolidating all the content well before the exams start, I just don’t feel the need to. Like, I know all the stuff already. It just comes easy to me, I guess. I think that it’s pretty cool how I can take one look at the board and memorise everything that is on it in an instant. People, like my parents, say that it is photographic memory. I say that it is just me being awesome. Okay, I am being narcissistic. Truth is, I am really shy. I don’t really talk to new people, because it doesn’t usually go well. And plus, while I may pride myself and compliment myself a lot in my internal monologues like the one I am having right now, my self-esteem is kind of low in school. I know, you may be thinking: how does that even make sense? Well, I’m not that popular. But that’s okay. Sometimes, being by yourself is the best way to go. You don’t want people stealing your credit when you do something that is worthy of mention. Like… when I won that maths competition last year. Yep. Came first place in the whole state.
The sad truth about school is, while you get top marks in every exam and become the smartest person in the school, it comes at a great cost: you are at the bottom of the social ladder.
It’s not like I don’t like people, I do. It’s just that I’m normally too scared to approach them. And they don’t approach me, because they just think that I’m a nerd who wears glasses, who spends all their day in the library reading. Oh dear, I just described myself.
Anyway, yeah. A friend would be nice. Yes, I do talk to some people on a somewhat regular basis, like I talk to Raven sometimes because she is also quite smart, but there is no one that pops to my mind if I ask myself: ‘Who is your best friend, Lexa?”
Okay, enough about me. Lunchtime is about to end, so I take one last look at my test paper that I got back last period: 98%. I mean, I still came top of the class by a long way, it was a super hard maths paper that stumped everyone but me, and I think that the person who came second was Raven Reyes, who got like mid 70 percent. I am still kicking myself for that simple mistake I made. How could I have thought that cosec theta was one over cos theta? It’s obviously one over sine theta. I’m so stupid sometimes.
I put my water bottle in my bag after tucking all my books and sheets inside as well, and I make my way out of the library, making sure to go the right way which basically allows me to go around the first-floor corridor, where all the people hang out. It’s not like they are bad people or anything, it’s just that going past so many people converged in one area makes me nervous.
I was so concentrated on getting out of the library, adjusting my bag straps on the way, that I don’t realise that there was a bulletin board right in front of me. I walk straight into it, and hit my head straight on the metal. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I can be extremely clumsy at times. Like, I tend to drop things on people’s feet. When they look at me incredulously like there’s something wrong with me I normally just give them a meek, apologetic smile and get the hell away from there. Maybe that is one of the factors contributing to why I don’t like to be around so many people at one place: there is more chance that I will hurt them, and I don’t want to hurt people. It makes me sad. But the thing is when there is no one around me to hurt, I tend to hurt myself instead. Like now. I remember one time last year when I tripped over my own feet on the pavement and I hit my head straight on a lamppost. Now that hurt like a bitch. Luckily, no one was around or I would've been the laughing stock of the whole town. My head had been throbbing so hard that I was forced to sleep on an ice pack that night. That was not a very good idea, because in the morning the whole bed was wet and dripping. I guess being book smart doesn’t mean that you are smart in life. I am learning, though. People learn new things every day.
When I finally recover from my brief injury, I take a look at my watch. It is currently 2 o’clock in the afternoon on Thursday, meaning that the school football team is about to have a game. The posters were all over the school over the past few days, advertising the event, because today we are playing our rival school, Maple Hills. Not that it needs any advertising, however. I had been looking forward to this game since last week. These matches normally take place during everyone’s free periods, and normally the library geeks stay in their library and do their thing there, I attend every game.
Now you may ask, why? Because there is someone on the football team that I like. Now she doesn’t know that I like her, maybe she doesn’t know that I exist in the first place, but she is drop-dead gorgeous. I don’t think that I have ever managed to get to talk to her before, because she does humanity subjects and I do sciences so we do not share any classes, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t have a crush on her.
Her name is Clarke Griffin. She is the captain of the football team and plays attacking midfielder, so she is basically the engine behind the whole team. She takes all the set-pieces, she takes the penalties, she sometimes scores but more often she makes key passes and assists. She is absolutely amazing, I am so proud of her.
I make my way to the school field where the pitch is. It is a home game, so I can see all the cheerleaders from my school cheering on the football team on the sidelines. I spot an empty seat next to the aisle where all the players will come out, so I sit there. It’s a good seat, and plus, there aren’t many people around me, so that no one will shout in my ear when someone scores. That has happened in the past, and I am pretty sure that I couldn’t get rid of the consistent buzzing that was in my ear for hours to come.
I hear the studs clacking on the floor before I see the players. The two teams made their way to the pitch in two separate files. Since Clarke plays quite high up the pitch, she is one of the last people in the line.
I see strands of golden hair before I see her. And when I do, just… ah. The way her shiny red uniform clings to her curves, the way her bright cerulean eyes sparkles under the sunlight, the way the tendrils of blonde hair flutters slightly in the breeze… she is literally my definition of perfection. She is so pretty. She's way out of my league though, but it doesn't mean that I can't admire her, right?
As she walks by me, I try to send a message telepathically. I have read some studies that claim it works, and some that say it doesn’t, but it can’t hurt to try, right?
Please notice me, Clarke, please, just look my way.
Clarke’s head turned, and for a brief moment, her eyes met mine. My senses shut down as soon as we made eye contact, and despite the cheers around me, all I can make out is electric silence.
She gives me a warm smile before she turns back around and walks onto the pitch, warming up with her teammates.
Did she really just smile at me?
It’s not until the whistle blows, signalling the start of the game, that I move a muscle.