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Joshua’s feet tapped down onto the roof near silent, and his hands lingered just a moment too long before letting Neku go, his wings disappearing into nothing.
The sounds of the city night were far away from the two of them. Even the hum of the fluorescent shop signs nearby felt muted, as if the roof top was a completely separated reality.
Neku spun slowly, looking out into the pulsing city below, feeling the breeze catch his hair in playful tussles as Joshua quietly moved to stand beside him.
Somehow, the rainbow of lights moving across his skin and eyes made Joshua look ethereal. Neku could almost see how he was a god.
He led him to the edge of the roof, before kneeling in front of the ledge where there was nothing but blank concrete. Out of nowhere, a box of paint pens clattered near Neku’s feet as he sat beside Joshua, who was holding a box of his own and peering into it, considering.
“painting on a roof, huh? Can’t say this is the worst idea you’ve had.” he scooped up the other box, assuming it was his and watched as Josh eventually pulled out a white and started lightly sketching a curve.
It was honestly mesmerising, watching Joshua’s hand move in small, elegant movements as his drawing took shape; a white curve, followed by brown and yellow and grey and Neku found himself suddenly looking at a bowl of ramen and Joshua staring at him expectantly.
“Well? Haven’t you wanted to put your mark on the city, dear?”
“This isn’t really the same thing; it’s us doodling in paint pen on a roof. Not painting a mural where everyone can see…”
Joshua’s hand gently stroked his cheek “Dear, dear Neku. Do you see every draft that precedes a finished painting? Hear every take before the finished song? Of course not, those invisible steps are what lead to the whole, and without them, the finished piece would not exist or be nearly as wonderful.” Joshua nudged the box in his hand “And even if no one else sees them; I do. And I am Shibuya’s eyes.”
A hand covered his eyes “Close your eyes, and think about what you’d like to say now, in this moment. Then show me.” Neku closed his eyes and felt Joshua’s hand lift.
What he wanted to say…
Unbidden, he thought about the Game. A week of stress, of fear, upset… and the good. Learning about himself, making new connections, expanding his horizons…
Neku opened his eyes and eyed the wall. Too small. So he turned and started drawing behind him instead, white lines slowly taking form in a shape that had haunted him since his revival; the skull.
Joshua was quiet, had stood to watch Neku work, and his eyes when they roamed over the finished product were unreadable.
At a first glance, the harsh contrast of the white against the dark roof, the night, seemed jagged and hard. Edges ended in hard lines, a clear separation between the paint and the concrete below.
And yet, the texture of the roof pushed through. The skull and the roof were separate, but not entirely. Neku watched Joshua’s face, hoping he’d understand; like his metaphor earlier, the UG and the RG needed each other to exist together.
(He just hoped his own needing hadn’t slipped in; Joshua didn’t really need to know just how much Neku had relied on that ‘maybe’, until they had met again. Though knowing Joshua and his lax ideas of what constituted ‘private thoughts’, he probably already knew.)
Eventually, Joshua’s lips twitched, not quite a smirk but calling it a ‘smile’ would have been too generous. “Using my own words against me. I suppose I should have seen this coming, you aren’t stupid after all.”
“And I’m going to hold you to them.” Neku shot back, with a confidence even he was surprised by “If you try to ghost me again, I’m going to make myself the biggest pain in your neck until you stop it.”
Joshua just raised an eyebrow, and Neku felt his face warm contrary to the chill of the night. He turned sharply and hoped it was too dark and poorly lit for Joshua to see his flush, and walked quickly over to where Josh had drawn his first scribble and pulled out a yellow.
He’d mindlessly drawn about four musical notes, of varying type, before Joshua caught his attention looking far too pleased with himself for the (admittedly kind of cute) green pig noise he’d drawn. And then frowning when Neku responded by aggressively drawing a thick red ‘X’ through it.
“Why, Neku I spent time on that.”
“And I hated fighting them.” he huffed in response “We both know if you really didn’t want me to do that, you could have stopped me.”
As soon as it had appeared, Joshua’s frown disappeared with a small giggle and he pulled out a pink, starting to draw a series of disconnected shapes, and Neku relaxed a little and sat on the ledge to watch him, moving his legs at Joshua’s request.
Neku’s gaze eventually drifted out into the city night, watching the cars and the fuzzy forms of far away people moving through Shibuya like it’s blood. He was so caught up in watching, he didn’t notice Joshua had stopped drawing until he felt him lean against his arm on the ledge next to him.
“Being up here really does make you see things from a new perspective, doesn’t it?” Joshua said softly, his face suddenly glowing with light from his phone “How each individual, even though you can’t see them clearly, contributes to Shibuya’s whole.”
“They kinda look like ants.” he admitted quietly “From up here… it’s hard to see them as anything significant. I can see how you… lost sight of things, if this was the only way you’d interacted with Shibuya for years…”
Joshua’s weight on his arm increased “Well, now I have a rather stubborn connection to that world that has made it quite clear that he isn’t going to let me lose sight of it again.” Neku felt himself smile as Joshua moved to look at him “Not that Sanae would let me hear the end of it either, if I cut off contact with you.”
“I guess I’m just that charming.” he meant it as a joke, but it came out a lot softer and more sincere than he’d intended, even subconsciously moving closer to Joshua’s face.
Joshua paused. Just for a moment, before replying “I suppose you are.” and moving forward the last bit to meet him for a kiss, both their eyes sliding closed.
It wasn’t exactly electric, or mind blowing, or anything like what he’d heard gushing girls squeal about. It was just… nice.
Nice to feel Joshua’s warmth against him, nice to feel the way they shifted as if they were one, hands bracing against each other. Nice to watch the distant lights play in Joshua’s eyes when they parted.
“Red is a fetching colour on you” Joshua reached up to gently press a hand against one of his burning cheeks “especially here.”
He didn’t know how to respond, so he turned in Joshua’s embrace to look out over the city once more. Joshua started to hum, quiet at first, but growing slowly louder when Neku realised it was Shibuya’s song.
He closed his eyes and let it sink into his body, rocking along with Joshua as his hum turned into voice, then something else , not quite instrumental. A hand rose to cover his eyes when he tried to open them.
This is as much as I can get away with for you.
So Neku settled back into his grip and listened, until the song slowly faded. Not ending, but growing quieter and quieter until his ears were again filled with the faint buzz of fluorescent lights, and distant people.
It was surprisingly hard to open his eyes again. Shibuya’s song, coupled with Joshua’s presence and the late hour, made him aware of just how tired he actually was now that he was still and couldn’t ignore it. He felt himself starting to sag in Joshua’s arms.
“I suppose I should get you home, Dear. It is rather late for you.” Neku felt Joshua scoop him up and start walking “I promise you, this isn’t the most comfortable place to sleep. But you just keep those pretty eyes of yours closed, you’ll be home in bed before you know it.”
The sound of wind drowned out anything else Joshua had to say.
When Neku next opened his eyes, it was to daylight, a box of paint pens on his bedside table (with the white almost completely used), and a note with four words; see you again soon.