Work Text:
“What are you smirkin’ at Poppins?” Jamie asked, reaching out to tuck Dani’s bangs behind her ear.
“Oh I’m just thinking about how my girlfriend, who works so hard to be all tough and British and hard around the edges, spent however long, growing a moonflower in secret, just to tell me she’s in love with me.”
It had been hours ago now, when the love of her life had entered their flower shop and told her they had a problem. It had turned out not to be a problem at all, unless you considered a totally amazing woman being in love with you a problem.
The hours since Jamie’s confession of love had been filled in bed punctuated by breathy declarations of love. There was more than likely a trail of discarded clothes between their front door and their bedroom, but if Dani was honest she couldn’t remember much other than the overwhelming sensation of breathy moans escaping Jamie’s lips. Lips that had seemed to be everywhere all at the same time.
They were lying in bed still, Dani on her back, Jamie leaning on her side, using her elbow to prop herself up so that her face hovered distractingly close to the blonde’s.
“Well, first of all, I am tough, thank you very much. And British, I don’t really have to work hard at that. And second of all, I wanted you to know that to me you’re worth the effort.” Jamie smiled shyly down at her girlfriend.
Dani felt a rush of emotion, and she grinned widely at the brunette even as her eyes swam with unshed tears.
“But a moonflower, that takes a long time to grow. You had a full on plan.”
“What are you gettin’ at Poppins?” Jamie asked, grinning in a way that let Dani know that she knew exactly what the blonde was trying to get at.
“Well I’m just saying,” Dani was getting flustered now. After all this time Jamie still had a knack for making her blush like a schoolgirl with a crush. “You must have had this planned for a while. You didn’t just wake up today and think ‘I’m in love with Dani.’”
“No, you’re right, I didn’t.”
Dani waited with baited breath, not wanting to interrupt her girlfriend, but also desperate to know the answer to her unasked question.
“Are you asking me when I first realised I was in love with you? Cos I’m sorry to disappoint ya, there wasn’t an exact moment that I could pinpoint for you.”
“Oh.” Dani did feel slightly disappointed, and she felt her own face fall of its own accord before she could stop herself from reacting.
“Don’t look sad baby,” Jamie whispered softly as she leaned closer to push their foreheads together. “There wasn’t an exact moment, because it was, it is, a million little things that made me fall in love with you.”
“Oh yea? Like what?” Dani asked as she felt a mile return to her own face. She could never stay upset for long in Jamie’s presence.
“Well for one, the fact that you still can’t make a cup of tea to save ya life, even though I’ve shown you what feels like a hundred times.” Jamie laughed softly as Dani threw her look of mock surprise.
“You wound me.” Dani joked as she joined in on the brunette’s gentle laughter.
“I don’t know Poppins, I guess it’s the fact that you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met. After everything you’ve seen, everything you’ve been through, not only are you still standing; but you’re still the kindest and most positive person I’ve ever met.” Dani had to fight the urge to argue with her girlfriend, Jamie had been through a lot too, and in Dani’s eyes she was the brave one of the two of them.
“It’s the way that you hate getting up early but you do it every single morning so that I don’t have to open the shop on my own. Or the way that even when I’m grumpy and being a complete ass, you’re so determined just to make me smile. I’m also pretty fond of the way that you snuggle so far into the bed on cold nights that you look like a floating head, or maybe-”
Dani surged forward suddenly to meet Jamie’s lips with her own, effectively cutting the brunette off.
“Or maybe it’s the way that you love to cut me off during my monologues by kissing me so fiercely that it pushes every thought but you out of my head.” Jamie said when they finally pulled apart. Dani’s hand had found its way to the back of Jamie’s neck and she used that leverage to pull the brunette back into another searing kiss that left them both with heaving chests and flushed faces.
Sometimes Dani just couldn’t help herself. Jamie’s touch was so intoxicating, sometimes it felt like if she didn’t kiss her she would explode.
“What I was tryin’ to say, until I was so rudely interrupted is that, I can’t pick a precise moment when I fell in love with you, it kind of happened slowly and then all at once. I can’t really remember what it felt like to not be in love with you.”
After all this time, Jamie still had a way of taking Dani’s breath away, using only her words. Dani was struck, and not with the first time, with the feeling that this was how it was supposed to feel when you were in love. It was the feeling she had been searching for her whole life, she’d found it and the thought of losing it absolutely terrified her.
“Was there a moment for you then?” Jamie asked, pulling Dani out of her reverie as she settled back down on her side.
“Remember when I first told you that I saw Edmund all the time? That he was haunting me?” Dani swallowed heavily, her reflection had been safe to look at for a long time now but that time of her life still haunted her. She distinctly remembered that the more she felt for Dani, the heavier her guilt had felt, a weight on her chest that she carried with her every day and manifested itself increasingly frequently until Jamie had helped assuage her of it once and for all.
“Yea Poppins, of course.” Jamie lifted Dani’s hand and gently brushed her knuckles across her lips.
“Well, you didn’t think I was crazy. You listened, and you believed me and you offered to beat him up for me.” Dani smiled, the memory still so fresh in her mind despite it being over a year ago. “It meant so much to me. That you didn’t think I was crazy and you wanted to protect me, you wanted me to feel safe. I’d never felt that safe in my whole life. I’d never felt so seen in my whole life.”
Dani looked down shyly, even after everything the two women had shared she still felt self conscious telling Jamie how much of an effect she had on her from the very beginning.
“That’s when you fell in love with me? Dani I was basically a complete stranger.” Jamie laughed disbelievingly.
“You were never really a stranger. Not to me anyway. Even the first time I met you. Well I never really met you, so I guess the first time I was in the same room as you.” The memory was so clear in her mind, the instant feeling of familiarity, the overwhelming sense of being both extremely comfortable and incredibly nervous in the presence of someone who should have felt like a complete stranger.
“What do you mean we never met? We didn’t know each other and now we do, that kind of means we had to meet at some point Poppins.”
“Not officially. You do know you never introduced yourself, and no one else bothered to introduce you either. You swaggered into the kitchen, with dirt smudged on your face, and I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen and you straight up ignored me. And then you and Owen started joking around with the kids and the moment had passed but I was pretty much already obsessed with you.”
“Honestly, I was just trying to play it cool. I saw you walk on to the property and I thought you were gorgeous. I was actin’ all cool because I wanted you to think I was this mysterious and cool groundskeeper. On the inside I was experiencin’ some extreme gay panic over the incredibly cute American girl sitting at the dinin’ table.” Jamie blushed slightly.
“Well mission accomplished.” Dani smiled and placed a chaste kiss on the brunette’s lips.
“I actually can’t believe this is my life sometimes. I never thought I would get to be this happy. I thought that my borin’ little life in Bly was as good as it got. And then you came along and made me happier than I ever thought I deserved.” Jamie’s voice was quiet and barely above a whisper as if she was confessing a deep dark secret and Dani felt a rush of appreciation that she got to be the person to keep Jamie’s heart and secrets safe.
“You make me so happy that I feel selfish sometimes, because I don’t know how long I’ve got and I don’t want you to stay just to be dragged down by me.” Dani hadn’t meant for the words to come rushing out, but it was a thought that she had been carrying around for a long time and she knew if she didn’t get it out now, she never would. She needed Jamie to know that if this life of waiting for the other shoe to drop was too much for her, Dani wouldn’t blame her.
“I promised ya I’d keep you company while you waited for your beast. One day at a time. On your good days, and your bad days and all the boring days in between, I’ll be here.” Jamie dropped several soft and reassuring kisses on Dani’s face. “I stay because I want to, Dani, because I love you, and I love the life we’ve built together. If you think I’m leaving any time soon, then you’re more nuts than I thought.”
Dani felt her eyes fill with tears, and she forced them shut, trying to stop them from spilling out onto her cheeks.
“Well I didn’t realise the thought of me stickin’ around would be so upsettin’. I guess I’ll just see myself out.” Jamie joked as she gently brushed the tears from the blonde’s cheeks.
Dani let out a watery chuckle, and felt her face break into a smile. Jamie never failed to cheer her up. As the brunette drew her lovingly into her arms Dani let the tension release from her body and was confused for just a second at how silent it seemed in their small bedroom. Was it always this quiet in their apartment?
The silence was almost instantly broken by a rumble of Jamie’s stomach.
“Hungry?” Dani asked, quirking an eyebrow at her girlfriend.
“Absolutely famished, to be honest.”
“Should we order a pizza?”
“You truly are the perfect woman.” Jamie said as she got up and glanced around the room for something to to wear into the kitchen.
“We should get a phone in the bedroom, so we can order in without you having to leave me here all alone.” Dani whined.
Jamie laughed affectionately as she pulled on Dani’s pink fluffy robe. The same fluffy robe that she had made fun of Dani for buying, but seemed pretty fond of wearing around the house on cold nights.
Jamie leant down and kissed Dani’s forehead before making her way towards the kitchen to call in their order and Dani was instantly hit by how silent it was again. How had she never noticed how quiet this room was? She felt like she was missing something, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on, and it she grew increasingly uncomfortable until she couldn’t stand it anymore.
She pulled one of Jamie’s flannels off the chair next to the bed and padded down the hall, following the sound of her girlfriend’s voice.
Jamie looked up when she came into the room, sweeping her eyes appreciatively over Dani standing in the kitchen dressed only in one of her flannel shirts.
As soon as she wrapped up the call, she was all over the blonde, lips at her neck, fingers calloused from years of hard labour catching slightly at the soft skin of her thighs. Dani felt her face split into a huge smile, butterflies erupting in her stomach as she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s neck.
“The usual delivery guy is off sick, so I have to go pick it up. I’m just gonna pop down the street and grab it.” Jamie said, her voice muffled from where her face was buried in Dani’s neck.
“Do you want company?” Dani asked, pulling away from the brunette, holding out her pinky finger, a wry smile on her face.
Jamie giggled, an honest to god giggle, before holding out her own pinky and linking it with Dani’s.
“I’d love some.”
As Dani followed Jamie down the hall, their hands intertwined, Dani put her finger on the strange feeling she had, the unusual silence she heard. It was peace. For the first time in a year, the beast inside of her was silent. As Jamie glanced over her shoulder and flashed her a crooked smile, so full of love and adoration, Dani felt hopeful that maybe she had more time than she could have ever hoped. They were taking it one day at a time, and she was going to use every day to prove to Jamie she was worth the effort.