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One of these days when I come back to you, remind me how I kissed you so gently...
The melancholic tunes that the bar always played filled the air. Umber walls created an atmosphere that almost felt like home. Tonight, Bar Lupin seemed to be cozier than usual. One of the seats were occupied by a tall brunette man of about twenty two years of age. Another occupied by a man who had rusty red hair. Both of them had a glass of amber whiskey placed in front of them. The brunette named Dazai picked up his glass and held it in his hand whilst closing his eyes. "What shall we toast to tonight?" he asks the man sitting next to him.
The man with rusty red hair who was older than the first replied, "Perhaps our meeting after such a long time? I'm not sure, anything is fine I guess."
"Ah what a wonderful thing to toast to, it truly has been a while." Dazai chuckles.
They both raise their glasses and clink them together in unison. The man with rusty red hair named Oda Sakunoske took a short sip of his whiskey, however Dazai seemed to hesitate. But in the end he thinks why not? He follows suit after Oda or as he calls him "Odasaku". The brunette puts his glass back down on the counter and leans back a little whilst shoving his hands into his sand colored trench coat pockets. There's a meaningful silence between the two for a while. Each of them taking in the beautiful melancholy of the bar and each other's company.
"So what have you been up to?" Odasaku finally asks breaking the silence. "Oh not much, just joined the Armed Detective Agency, became a detective and the likes." the brunette smiles leaning back forward. "I see...things are working out then?" Dazai smiles as if to feign optimism but for this one person before him, it was a little easy for him to see the pain behind it. "For the most part, yes."
"What else did you do besides "just joining the Agency and becoming a detective" ?" he asks but it's hard to sense the amusement in his voice when he speaks in monotone. "Well not long after that I found...an orphan named Atsushi who was on the brink of starvation at a riverbank. Then I invited him into the Agency and so now he's also a detective." Dazai chuckles a little at the end. "Seems like you've been taking my advice." Odasaku says before a taking another sip of the amber whiskey.
Dazai's eyes hold this special fondness in them, a special fondness that never appears in his eyes before anyone else. "I try." he says.
"You don't just try, I know you do, and you make it your duty to do so."
The detective smiles at this and drinks some of his own whiskey. This seemed like the only time that his tense muscles seemed to relax. He didn't have to put on an eccentric act when with Oda, he could let his mask fall even if it was just for a while. "You make me sound like a saint." Dazai laughs.
"Perhaps you're not a saint, but you're not a bad person either, not anymore."
Dazai's eyes widen very slightly at his words. "What makes you think that?"
"You're not a saint...but at least you're a little bit better."
Dazai doesn't say anything, he just takes a sip from his glass.
"And the fact is...you're trying."
The brunette feels his heart become heavy, has he ever felt such a feeling? It almost overwhelmed him. Ah yes, he did feel such a feeling before...
It was when Odasaku died, right in his arms. His heart dropped and it felt so very heavy but then it was a gruesome feeling.
However, this time around it wasn't "gruesome" but rather...a mix between happiness and sadness? He couldn't quite place it and felt as if he was drowning in this foreign feeling. It's more of a longing. A longing to hear such words of validation from the only person who could give it.
He sighs and orders another glass of his usual after it ended up empty. "This is the first time I've ever seen you actually consume the alcohol." Odasaku says with slight amusement lacing his voice. "I just felt like doing so tonight."
The two spent the night chatting away and making up for lost time. It's been years since the brunette genuinely loosened up and didn't have to fake everything. But all good things must come to an end.
He sees his phone on the counter vibrating meaning that someone was calling him. He found it rather annoying. The ice in his whiskey glass was melting gradually just like the scene where Odasaku and him were conversing. Everything went black but he could still hear the ringing of the cellphone.
His eyes open to see a bland white ceiling. The ringing of the cellphone didn't stop, not just yet. He blinks a few times and then sighs, he reaches for his cellphone on the desk beside his bed and just has he does, it stops. He's annoyed, after all he was awoken from a deep sleep which he rarely ever gets. The brunette realized that it was all just a dream. That meeting at the bar with Odasaku was all just a dream. The ringtone of his cellphone seemed to call him back to reality.
Truly reality is just so cruel. But he's accepted that. But somehow his heart...feels lighter? A tad bit lighter than what it was. Has he ever felt this feeling before? No, not this one. His heart had always been dark and heavy, weighed down by the chains of life's atrocities. He smiles a little at the foreign feeling. He'd rather much drown in this than in the suffocating heaviness. But he realizes again, he has to return to reality, where there is no Odasaku, at least in a reality where he's not alive. Is he destined to lose everything dear to him? He thinks perhaps he is.