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“Thank you for coming,” Jungkook said softly, as they headed down the stairs.
Jimin nodded, setting his sunglasses on the top of his slightly-not-short-enough black hair. He knew it wasn’t enough to get him pulled aside or fined, but it was still longer than he’d gotten used to.
It had been maybe two months since Jimin had been back from his service, and his city still felt unrecognizable.
“Where do you want to go first?” Jungkook asked, leaning closer to him.
“You’re my guide for the day, Jungkook, why don’t you pick,” he said gently.
Jungkook gave him one of those wide, beaming grins that showed too much teeth. “Flowers. Always flowers first,” Jungkook said.
Jimin nodded, and followed his lead. “How are classes going at Sungji?”
“We’ve been out for a while, with the demonstrations,” Jungkook said with a shrug, sticking his hands deep into his pockets. “But I’m sure I’ll be back in the fall once we’ve said our piece.”
“You really shouldn’t talk about that so openly,” Jimin said softly, taking a look around them. There were always police on the street now a days, it seemed. “That’s just asking for a grenade to the back of the head.”
“Oh, I know,” Jungkook said, and gave a look to the next police officer he saw. The police officer, whether too bored or too distracted to notice, let them walk by unimpeded.
Jimin rolled his eyes, smacking Jungkook lightly. “When did you turn into such a little brat?”
“I guess since you left,” Jungkook said. “And I’m not really so little anymore, huh?”
“Just because you’re taller than me doesn’t mean I can’t destroy you,” Jimin said, unable to play the strict older hyung for too long. “C’mon.”
The two of them continued walking down to the small shopping district in the middle of town. Jimin heard from his parents that things were starting to slowly bloom from the cracks between the austerity of the last few years. He was surprised to find a few things in color. He saw the sapphire blue and light pink hanboks folded neatly in the first window. His hands drifted across the silk fabric.
“Do you already have your outfit for Chuseok?”
“We… don’t have that color for men,” the vendor said. Jimin turned to look at the ancient old woman bent double over her sewing, her eyes looking disdainfully at both of them. Jimin gave her a withering glance and sighed, settling his hand down on a black one instead.
“Mmm, don’t worry about it, Jimin -- I can still fit mine from last year, it was big,” Jungkook said, and then grabbed his hand. Jimin was surprised. He startled as Jungkook pulled him forward. “I think the florist is over here,” he said.
The stalls and booths and kiosks all moved around from week to week, with the vendors fighting over the best spots every morning. There were a few permanent shops that were pre-set, and one of them was a small flower shop that washed that whole side of the market with color.
“Beautiful,” he said, walking towards the store with renewed determination.
Jimin followed, leaving the hanbok alone for now as Jungkook led them to the small shop, and opened the door.
Sitting at the table was someone Jimin barely remembered. But he remembered the last day he had seen them.
~*~
“You mean you don’t sell cherry blossoms?” Jungkook asked, already in full pout before the florist even finished their first sentence.
“Those fall off of trees, so they don’t make for very good floral arrangements. You should trust me. You need ones that are still on the stem. ”
“What if I get you some on the branch still?” Jungkook had asked, when he was barely old enough to see over the countertop. Jimin sighed and pushed him back down. He wasn’t scared to get beat, not really, but he really didn’t want to have to explain it to his father, either.
“Jungkook, c’mon, let’s go.”
“Look, I can pay for a bouquet, but it needs to have winter hazel in it,” Jungkook said.
The florist scoffed. “Winter hazel? Fine, it’s going to be a tragic bouquet,”
Jungkook only smiled. “I’ll take my chances.”
~*~
“Tulips,” Jungkook said, surprising Jimin. “A bunch of white, but can you add maybe some red ones too?” Jungkook said.
“That seems a little relaxed, even for you,” Jimin said gently looking at the flower.
“Well, they’re not for me. We’re going to read the names of the people who have been killed during the protests.”
Jimin sighed. The florist seemed to hesitate as he got to work on completing the order.
Jimin took the opportunity to pull Jungkook aside. “Maybe… we could just buy some flowers because they smell nice? Because they’re beautiful?”
Jungkook looked down, thrusting his hands deep into his pockets and letting a few locks of dark hair obscure his eyes. He looked too big and too small at once and Jimin felt his heart squeeze just a bit.
“I get it, though… I do,” Jimin tried. “I just want… I just want you to be safe.”
Jungkook sighed. “Jimin… I want to show you what I’ve been working on. I figured you’d want this for me… that you’d want me to do something that I could believe in,” Jungkook whispered.
“Yes but… not so loudly.”
Jungkook sighed. “The whole movement is about awareness. We can’t sit in the shadows anymore.”
Jimin wanted to tell him a lot of things. He was a kid playing at war against a government that did not care about him. These university students still didn’t know anything about being in that kind of world was like.
But he had always wanted Jungkook to find his own passions. “Look, I get it. You can be loud about it. Just maybe keep an eye out for who is watching, okay? That little hanbok lady looked twitchy.”
Jungkook fought off a smile, but nodded anyway.
“Just… be careful. That’s all,” he said. “For me? For this weekend?”
Jungkook looked up at him, and Jimin saw softness break out where hardness had been. “Alright. But you’re paying for everything.”
“I always do.”
~*~
They had found a quiet place in a back alley to eat, where only a few people would come and check on them every once in a while out of the windows. Jimin sat close to Jungkook as they ate, picking out of his bowl as often as he picked out of his own.
There was a quiet familiarity with being this close to Jungkook. He was bigger than Jimin, and Jimin found his body was warm and easy as he curled in against him.
“I don’t understand why you didn’t order enough food. Why do you have to take mine too?”
“You should respect your elder’s wishes, Jungkook,”
“Yes, hyung,” Jungkook teased, before eating the last dumpling and stuffing it into his cheeks.
Jimin rolled his eyes, pushing against him hard.
“Ow, ow!” Jungkook said. “You’ve got such bony little fingers.”
“Yeah you keep messing with me, you’ll see what these bony fingers can do,” Jimin said with a laugh.
“Well, you are the hyung. If you wanted more food, just buy more next time.”
“And you think I’m made of money?” Jimin said, going into full pout now. “You think I just waltzed out of the army and into a job making millions of won a day?”
“Well… yeah.”
Jimin rolled his eyes. “I’m a junior executive. It’ll be a bit before I can buy you heaping bowls of meat. It’s dumplings for now,” he said with a chuckle.
“Do you like it? Your job so far?” Jungkook asked honestly.
“Mmm… it’s alright but it’s not really exciting. It’s a lot of hard work. A lot of business calls for my seniors and a lot of paperwork. But if I make friends with the right people, I’ll move up in the world,” Jimin said.
He hated the way he sounded. It didn’t seem to mix with who he was. Before all this he’d just liked… he just liked helping people. He wanted to find a way to make everyone’s lives better. But he’d been basically given this job after his time in the army. He’d needed to do something and his brain couldn’t… settle down.
“But do you like it?”
“I’m not sure. Ask me later,” Jimin admitted. “I think I will.”
Jungkook didn’t seem satisfied by that answer. “I can’t get a straight answer out of you sometimes. It’s frustrating. My Jimin was never like this,” he said softly, picking at the last few noodle bits in his pot. “Never kept things from me,”
“Jungkook…”
“Hyung… what happened to you?”
Jimin closed his eyes, pulling his sunglasses off and running a hand through his hair, tossing it this way and that, as if the easy answer would fall out. “I don’t really wanna talk about it,” he said after a moment.
“You promised we’d always talk about everything. You told me that before you left. While I was rubbing your shaved head.”
“I just feel useless,” Jimin said finally. “Like… we did all of that stuff so far away… and it was for nothing. The country isn’t better. No one feels safer. Everyone just runs scared.”
Jungkook nodded. “It’s just made things worse. It feels like there’s eyes everywhere,” he said gently.
He pulled Jimin into an embrace, tangling their bodies together so that Jimin was sitting between his legs. “Here… let me help you, hyung,” Jungkook said.
He looked up and around the windows, and then ran his hands through Jimin’s hair, massaging his scalp lightly as Jimin felt his eyes well up.
“There are,” Jimin said. He’d seen a few people walking past them already. Jungkook was a bit more oblivious but Jimin picked up on everything, saw everything. “Are you sure no one’s following you? Making sure you’re not acting up?”
“I want to be able to do this in the street, hyung. I want everyone to know. I don’t want to keep finding back alleys and dusty hallways. I want to…”
Jungkook trailed off then. Jimin could fill in the blanks easily enough. He shook his head and pulled away. “Not… yet. Not for us, Jungkook.”
Jungkook’s shoulders tensed and he looked away after a moment. “You didn’t care before.”
“Well, before I didn’t know. I just half-knew, really. But when I was away,” Jimin still flinched away from the real terms. “When I was surrounded by all those people talking about women like they were just objects and property I realized how far we really had to go before any of that is reality. No one has any rights right now… let alone us,” Jimin said gently.
“That’s why we have to fight it,” Jungkook said. “We can’t just let them murder us in the street for raising our voices,” Jungkook said. “We’re going to be protesting soon. A big one. A lot of us have gotten together to try and get them to stop using tear gas on us. There’s this… this Catholic organization that’s going to help. They’re taking pictures and spreading it and everything. If we can make enough noise, then maybe we can shame them into--.”
“Are you kidding me?” Jimin said, his eyes widening. “Are you crazy? You could be killed!”
“It’s the only way, Jimin hyung,” Jungkook said, pulling him closer again. He planted a soft kiss on Jimin’s forehead and Jimin felt his shoulders relaxing even as he grew more paranoid. “If we can’t protest peacefully… then nothing will ever really change. And we’ll never be able to just… be.”
“Jungkook. There are people who do this behind closed doors… after you graduate we can move in together… be roommates. And no one can really control what we do then,” he said. “Why can’t you be patient?”
“I shouldn’t have to love you behind closed doors. Come with me, please?”
Jimin sighed, and shook his head. “Jungkook, it’s not that simple. If some reporter takes a photograph of me it could get printed and I could lose everything. We all could.”
Jungkook stood up, brushing his pants off. Something had shut off inside of him and Jungkook had finished the conversation. “Fine. It’s fine. I’ll see you around, Jimin-hyung -- I’ve got to get back to homework.”
“Wait… Jungkook, please?”
“It’s always wait with you,” he said with a sigh, and turned to walk away. “Find me when you’re tired of waiting too.”
~*~
Jimin sat in his apartment, sipping a glass of wine as he watched people move through the street. Everyone seemed to be in a rush to get home. They poured out of the bus all at once, as if some force had kicked them all out. He knew what the real answer was though -- they had been wedged in there so tightly that as soon as the doors open at least the first five people had gotten pushed out just to make way for people to get off the bus.
Jimin took a longer sip of wine.
It had been a long day at work -- he had almost gotten into a fight with a co-worker about them slacking off and had been so disgusted with himself afterwards that he’d sat in the bathroom for another five minutes to calm down.
Jungkook was right and wrong. He wasn’t really the same anymore, was he? But was that such a bad thing?
He ran a hand through his hair as he slumped down lower in his chair. Jungkook wasn’t normally the one for the silent treatment, but it had been at least two weeks since he’d seen the kid.
But Jimin didn’t want to give in. It was fair to want to continue their relationship in secret, right? To protect himself?
He’d never seen the way that people had stared at them in the past. When Jungkook launched himself into Jimin’s arms or when he’d almost kissed him in public. Jimin had to lean forwards, so it just looked like they were talking.
Jungkook had been mad, but Jimin had managed to calm him down. He’d had other friends that had been attacked for doing similar acts in public. That’s why he was always careful. He wished Jungkook could see it.
But he could be too brash, too headstrong. Maybe going away would help Jungkook, but maybe it’d just make things worse.
“Ahh,” he said softly to himself, closing his eyes and setting his wine glass down on the floor.
But Jungkook had always been bold. Even when they were young.
As the afternoon slipped away to evening, Jimin put on his radio, and let the soft ballads pull him into a half-asleep state.
~*~
“Jimin… Jimin Hyung ,”
Jimin looked down at Jungkook, his eyes wide and slightly watery as the air raid sirens screamed, echoing off the walls. He had still been in his school clothes; he hadn’t even bothered to change out of them.
“I’m sorry Jungkookie,” he said softly.
“Come on, we gotta get inside,” Jungkook said, and tugged him inside his house. His parents weren’t home.. They’d just gone to the store a few minutes before to pick up their dinner when the worst of it had started.
They heard the whistles and shouts as people started to yell at people on the street, forcing them into their homes or close buildings that had been made into evacuation shelters.
Jimin and Jungkook ran upstairs, hiding under the dining room table in the living room. The radio being on only added to the chaos of the room but neither boy dared to get out from under the table, out of fear of some threat coming to find them not where they were supposed to be.
“It just scared me,” Jimin said softly, shaking his head. “I forgot it was the 15th.”
“It’s okay,” Jungkook said, even though he could still see Jimin starting to pant, hyperventilating a bit.
“It’s just so loud,” Jimin said with a shake of his head. He’d already had a headache at the start of the day from running around too much and this was just making it worse. He curled in on himself, making himself smaller than he already was. “Why does it have to be so loud?”
“It’ll be over soon. Only twenty more minutes right, Jimin hyung?”
“I know. What if this is the time?” he whispered to Jungkook. “What if they crawl through the tunnels and start shooting again?” Jimin said softly.
“Then… we’ll fight them. All of us all together,” Jungkook said. “That’s why men go to the army, right? To train on how to stop them. To keep us safe.”
“What if it’s not good enough?” Jimin said, his eyes watching the street empty. “What if--”
“I’ll protect you,” Jungkook said. “I won’t let anything happen to you,” he said.
Jimin watched him, head pounding as the sirens blared again. “We’ll protect each other.”
Jungkook nodded, a warm smile on his face. “Yeah. And as long as we stick together we can do anything,”
Jimin nodded. “Right,” he said softly, forcing himself to believe in it, to believe in Jungkook.
“But… how do you know?”
“Because you make me feel like I can do anything,” he said with another shrug, before he set his head down on Jimin’s shoulder.
Jimin looked up at him and smiled. “Really?”
“Yeah. P… people always think that you’re fragile. But you’re not. You’re the strongest person I know, after my parents.”
The sirens sounded less angry now. Or maybe Jimin was just able to block them out.
“I’m not.”
“You so are,” Jungkook said firmly. “And I can prove it.”
“How are you going to do that?” Jimin asked, looking at him.
“We’re going to go outside right now. And we’re going to face whatever comes.” Jungkook said.
Jimin watched him and gave a small smile. “Okay.”
The two boys walked outside, careful to use the back stairwell to climb down to the ground floor and into the small public garden that was adjoined to their apartment building. They saw a few eyes on them, but Jimin and Jungkook paid ithem no attention.
Jimin winced against the noise, but he wasn’t afraid anymore.
“On three, we’re gonna scream,” he said.
“Yeah,” Jimin said, squeezing his hand firmly. “One…”
Jungkook nodded. “Scream at them, show those assholes up north you’re not afraid. Two…”
“Three…” Jimin said.
And then they both started to scream, the harsh and defiant scream of people who didn’t want to be afraid anymore. They both went as long as they could, taking turns to breathe as they kept shouting.
And finally, all at once, when they both had screamed themselves hoarse--the sirens stopped.
Jimin smiled, pumping his tiny fists in the air in celebration.
Jungkook laughed, plopping down and sitting on his butt in the wet grass.
“See? I told you,” he said with a nod.
“Hey… Jungkook?”
“Yeah Jimin-hyung?”
“...thank you.”
Jungkook gave him a warm smile, and then a fierce hug. Jimin relaxed into Jungkook’s arms, and let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.
Jungkook slowly rubbed Jimin's back, squeezing him tightly. “Jimin… I’ll always be there for you when you need to be reminded how brave you are.”
~*~
“Jungkook!”
Jungkook turned surprised to hear someone call his name so sharply.
He looked down back out of the window to see a figure running towards him.
Jungkook paused, and turned to the rest of his group, who were staring at him oddly.
“Um, guys… I’ll be back, can you give me like two minutes?”
“Yeah, that’s fine Kook,” his roommate said. “Just try to meet up with us at the next block okay?”
He nodded, and then turned around to finally be able to make out Jimin.
“How’d you know I was going to be here?” Jungkook asked.
“Your mom is smarter than she lets on. She already knew where you were going. She’s a wreck by the way,” Jimin said with a shrug.
“She respects my decisions. She’s just scared,” Jungkook said.
Jimin nodded. “I know. She should. You’re right.”
Jungkook laughed. “That is not what I expected to come out of your mouth,” he said.
Jimin grinned. “Well, I have to keep you on your toes,” he said.
“What made you change your mind?” Jungkook asked.
Jimin hesitated for a moment, looking down at the sidewalk and its many cracks. “It’s summer now. Do… do you remember when we went to the florist shop? Right before I left? You asked for cherry blossoms and winter hazel.”
“I realize now that I don’t know the first thing about flowers,” Jungkook admitted, blushing.
Jimin smiled. “Well.. flowers bloom in different seasons. We may both not be flowering at the same time… but we’ll both get our chance to bloom. Winter hazel and cherry blossoms,” he said, pointing at the two of them. “Maybe it’s just not my time yet. But… it’s yours. So… I’ll follow where you lead. And I’ll protect you.”
“We’ll protect each other,” Jungkook said.