Chapter Text
Fuck, Xue Yang thought to himself.
He was sitting against the inside of a battered shed, Xiao Xingchen leaning on him with his head resting on his shoulder. The other man’s breathing was ragged and shallow, every shuddering gulp of air grating against Xue Yang’s heart.
It seemed the nightmares had returned. They never stayed away for long, despite his best efforts to make Xiao Xingchen forget about their situation. It couldn’t be avoided today.
They usually stayed on the outskirts of the city; it was too dangerous closer towards the center. Here, Xue Yang could make supply runs while Xiao Xingchen stayed relatively safe, hidden away from the horde of undead roaming downtown. But just because they hadn’t had an encounter in a while didn’t mean that they could let their guard down.
It was early morning when he heard the pounding of footsteps coming down their street. Immediately alert, Xue Yang opened his eyes and saw the worn face of his companion still asleep beside him. Silently moving to the window, Xue Yang peeked out to see a man sprinting away from a large pack of zombies that were at least twenty in number.
The man was tall and had a long stride, but the zombies were faster and gradually closing in. The man looked behind himself to see them gaining on him and abruptly turned toward one of the houses lining the street.
It was the house they were currently occupying.
Fuck! You could have fucking picked any other house. If the zombies don't kill you, I swear I will. Xue Yang glared at the edge of the window where the man moved out of his field of vision.
But no matter how much he wanted to slit the man’s throat, there were more important things he had to take care of. Namely, getting Xiao Xingchen far away from here before the zombies noticed their presence.
“Daozhang, get up. We need to leave now,” Xue Yang whispered, giving the sleeping man's shoulders a quick shake before grabbing their bags and clipping the bulkier weapons he had taken off to sleep back onto his belt.
“What happened?” the other man asked, already standing at his side. They always slept in their gear so that they could leave at a moment’s notice.
Glancing him over, Xiao Xingchen looked calm on the outside, but Xue Yang could see the fear in his eyes. “Some shithead led the pack here. Into this house. Of all the houses on the block, he just had to choose this one,” Xue Yang gritted his teeth to explain as the sound of fighting and crashing furniture came up from the first floor. “Wait till I get my hands on you bastard. I'll make you regret ever being born,” he seethed under his breath.
“Should we help him?” Xiao Xingchen asked, tone laced with worry.
His companion was too kind and naive. Left alone with no supplies, it was a miracle that he survived the first wave. If Xue Yang hadn’t found him, it was likely that he wouldn’t have even made it out of the building he was trapped in, at least not while living.
“No. There’s too many of them. He has no chance and we won’t either unless we go now.”
“But-”
The door to their room slammed open and quickly closed.
Shit, I got complacent and forgot to lock the door.
Harsh panting suddenly accompanied them, and they both whipped their heads toward the sound. The man was turned around, fingers fumbling with the lock. His face and clothes were splattered with blood.
“You bastard, you led them-”
“Zichen,” Xiao Xingchen interrupted. He was staring at the man, eyes wide in surprise.
“Xingchen,” the man returned, looking equally shocked. “You’re safe. How…?”
Xue Yang moved to stand in front of Xiao Xingchen when the other man took a step forward. “Back. Away,” he growled, an obvious threat. He didn’t care if they knew each other before. There was something about him that immediately set him on edge, and it had nothing to do with him leading a horde of bloodthirsty zombies into their house and endangering their lives.
“A-Yang, it’s okay. He’s my friend,” Xiao Xingchen hurried to explain, a gentle hand lightly pulling his elbow back.
Eyes reflecting a hostility that matched Xue Yang’s own glared back at him. “He’s not coming with us. He doesn’t deserve to live after what he did to you.”
“Xingchen, you have no idea how sorry I am,” the man ignored him, looking over Xue Yang's shoulder to address Xiao Xingchen. “I’ve regretted leaving you ever since we parted. I went back for you after it was safe, but I didn’t- I thought- I’m relieved to see you’re safe-”
“Shut it,” Xue Yang interrupted. “You knew what would happen if you abandoned him with nothing to defend himself with and you did it anyway. Do you know what state he was in when I found him? How scared he was? How he cried and begged for forgiveness from a man who left him alone to die?”
A stricken look passed over the man’s face.
“A-Yang…” Xiao Xingchen said in a small voice from behind.
“It’s because of me that he’s still alive. I saved him. I’ve been protecting and taking care of him. You don’t get to pretend to be sorry and take him back like you never abandoned him.” I won’t let you. He’s MINE.
Two warm hands cupped Xue Yang’s cheeks and turned his head to the side, drawing his gaze over to where Xiao Xingchen was looking back at him with a tender smile on his face. He leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together, and closed his eyes.
“A-Yang, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered the promise softly, a secret just for the two of them. “I love you.”
“Xiao Xingchen…” Xue Yang closed the short distance between them and kissed his companion, staking his claim on the other man for the world to see. Xiao Xingchen was more in control of his emotions but no less passionate with his response.
When they pulled apart, both slightly breathless, Xue Yang grabbed his hand and Xiao Xingchen laced their fingers together. The indignant look on the intruder’s face made this whole situation just a little bit better.
“We need to leave. I’ll go first. Jump out after me, alright? I’ll catch you.”
The inhuman groaning and hissing was growing louder by the second. The zombies were getting closer. There wasn’t much time before they reached this room.
“I know. You always do,” Xiao Xingchen nodded, giving his hand a squeeze. They had done this many times before, and Xue Yang had never once let him fall.
Hearing the other agree, Xue Yang opened the window and scanned outside to check that it was clear before jumping down and rolling out of his landing. He immediately turned back toward the window and held out his arms for Xiao Xingchen to jump into.
“I hope you stay safe,” Xiao Xingchen said. He sincerely meant it too.
It would be a lie to say he hadn’t felt any pain or resentment when his friend left him, but he never would have met Xue Yang otherwise. As cruel as it had been, Xiao Xingchen also saw it as a blessing in disguise.
“Xingchen, wait-”
“I have to go now. Goodbye, Zichen,” he cut off his longtime friend, an air of finality ringing in his words. Then he jumped out of the second story window and into awaiting arms. The protective strength with which they wrapped around him made Xiao Xingchen feel safe and secure.
He took a moment to nuzzle into the crook of Xue Yang’s neck, inhaling his familiar scent as he regained his footing. As soon as he had done so, they released their hold around each other and took off at a run. There was no time to lose if they wanted to make their escape before they were noticed.
As they hopped over the fence into the neighboring yard, they heard several loud thuds, followed by the crack of a door being forced open. The noise came from the second floor.
“Zichen!”
Xiao Xingchen wanted to turn around and make sure that his friend had escaped safely, but he was stopped by Xue Yang’s hand grabbing his own and pulling him into a sprint.
“Don’t look back,” Xue Yang said, squeezing his hand and speeding up.
Blinking back the tears that were starting to gather in his eyes, Xiao Xingchen could only nod and keep his head forward. He knew what was probably happening back there. There was no need to confirm it.
The two didn’t talk as they ran from the horde, moving as fast as they could while trying to keep their footsteps as silent as possible. Xue Yang took them along deserted streets and through empty alleys until they left it all behind while Xiao Xingchen trustingly followed after him, their hands never separating.
Eventually they came to a stop far from the little residential area where the zombies had appeared, even further from the city. It would be harder to pick up supplies from here but it was safer. And that was all that really mattered to Xue Yang, keeping Xiao Xingchen safe and away from the danger.
“We should be far enough away here. I don’t think they’ll be able to follow our scent this far,” Xue Yang said after he led them inside their new temporary residence, though it was more like a shed or a shack than a house. It was just a single room with a few miscellaneous items scattered around. They would have to leave again in the morning.
But they had been running and hiding for most of the day on an empty stomach. Xue Yang was used to physical activity and missing meals but his companion wasn’t. Even though Xiao Xingchen refused to say anything, Xue Yang could see that he was exhausted. They needed a place to rest for the night and there were no other buildings in sight, so this would have to suffice for now. It was especially dangerous at night since their vision would be impaired and using any sort of light would just draw unwanted attention.
Xiao Xingchen collapsed on the floor, lying spread eagle as he tried to catch his breath. His legs were sore and prickly from running for so long. He didn’t think he’d be able to stand even if more zombies appeared.
Finding nothing of use in the room, Xue Yang used a chair and the few boxes lying around to jam and barricade the door. They weren’t heavy or even that sturdy and they definitely wouldn’t hold out if someone, or something, was determined to get inside.
Xue Yang wasn’t satisfied with the result, but it was the best he could do with the available resources. Finished, he pulled Xiao Xingchen up and helped him move to sit against the far wall. “Sleep. I’ll keep guard,” he gently ordered. “We’ll change location and find some food tomorrow.”
The shed didn’t have any windows for Xue Yang to keep watch from, so he sat next to Xiao Xingchen, using his hand to guide his companion’s head down to rest on his shoulder. The other man didn’t protest and let himself slump against his body. Xue Yang softly stroked his head and listened to his heavy breathing slowly settle. When it seemed as if he had fallen asleep, he turned his head to the side and pressed a kiss to Xiao Xingchen’s temple.
I won’t let you get hurt. I won’t let anyone take you from me.
Xue Yang leaned his head against the other’s and closed his eyes. He stayed alert though, concentrating on the sounds around them. If he heard anything suspicious, they would leave immediately.
Xiao Xingchen’s sleep was fitful, often mumbling incoherently and the occasional muscle spasm preventing him from falling into a deeper sleep. He woke up several times throughout the night. His head would jerk up and he’d look around their surroundings with wide eyes before Xue Yang directed them back to himself. Xiao Xingchen would eventually calm down after a few minutes, during which time Xue Yang would reassure him that he was safe, he wasn’t alone, no one would hurt him.
Once he was calm again, Xue Yang brought Xiao Xingchen down to lay his head on his lap. He held his hand to reassure him of his presence, their interlaced fingers resting above his companion’s heart. With his free hand, he ran it through the bangs that had fallen into Xiao Xingchen’s eyes, pushing them away from his face. There was always a furrow between his brows, and his mouth twisted down in a slight grimace.
It was dawn when he heard it. The dull thud of footsteps in the distance slowly growing louder. Xue Yang tensed as he counted at least ten pairs of feet. Whether it was a careless group of humans being recklessly loud or a fearless swarm of zombies, he couldn’t tell.
He gently pried his hand from Xiao Xingchen’s. The other’s grip was like a vice around him. It hurt Xue Yang to have to let go, but he needed to investigate the possible threat.
“A-Yang…” It came out almost as a whimper. Xiao Xingchen was still asleep and his hand immediately twisted into his shirt, knuckles turning even whiter than his already pale skin.
“Shh, I’m here. You’re safe,” he whispered, hoping his voice would pierce through his nightmare.
Mindful of Xiao Xingchen’s head on his lap, Xue Yang carefully set him down on the floor and then slowly stood. He silently took the four steps to the front of the shed and cut a small hole in the wall. Looking through, he saw something infinitely worse than a group of idiots.
Bodies in various stages of decomposition, some with missing or disfigured limbs, dirty clothes hanging off their frames like rags, it was unmistakably a horde of zombies. And their lifeless eyes were locked on the shed.
“Daozhang,” Xue Yang said urgently.
The sky was starting to lighten. Any attempt to escape would be easily spotted, though that wasn’t even an option seeing as how there were no windows and the only door in the shed was directly facing the zombies.
“A-Yang, what’s wrong?” Xiao Xingchen asked, trying to put up a brave front, but Xue Yang could hear the anxiety and alarm in his tone.
“They’re coming.”
“Wha-” the other man stiffened. “How many? How long do we have? Let’s go! I’m fine. I can run!”
“We won’t be able to run from them. They’re already too close and they’d see us the moment we step out. We have to fight.”
Xiao Xingchen just stared at him, frozen in place by terror. Seeing him so scared, Xue Yang couldn’t help the rising guilt and anger at himself. If he had chosen a different location, they wouldn’t be in their current situation, about to be surrounded and overpowered with no escape. Excuses about wanting to let Xiao Xingchen rest were beside the point. It wouldn’t have been difficult to carry his companion. At least their lives wouldn’t have been in danger right now. The blame for this situation rested solely with him.
“Damn it! How did they find us so fast?!” Xue Yang kicked the wall, and some rubble fell from the ceiling. “Fuck, fuck, FUCK!”
He looked at his still-frozen companion. Xiao Xingchen was much more scared than he was. Xue Yang had to get it together. He couldn’t afford to lose focus, not right now while their lives depended on him.
“Shit! Ok. Here, take these. Don’t hesitate when you shoot,” Xue Yang handed the fear-stricken Xiao Xingchen all his guns and their remaining ammunition and ushered for him to stand in the corner furthest from the door. “Aim for their kneecaps. It’ll slow them down so I can finish them off,” he said seriously, eyes boring into the other’s.
Ah, I wish I could take away all your fear and pain and protect you from the world. I would rather take on all your suffering than see you get hurt.
“We’ve practiced this. You know how to do this. I believe in you,” he stressed, pouring everything he felt for the other man into those last four words.
Xiao Xingchen stared at him with wide eyes, tears brimming but refusing to fall. He gave a single nod then surged forward, pressing their lips together in a desperate kiss.
“I believe in you, too.”
Xue Yang grinned. “Don’t worry, Daozhang, I won’t let them touch a single hair on you.”
He moved the boxes that had been propped against the door to make a barrier around his companion. It was far from a good defense, but it was all he could do. Then he moved to stand between Xiao Xingchen and the door, putting some distance between them so the other man wouldn’t get caught in the impending fight.
“Get ready. They’re coming.”
Xue Yang adjusted his grip on the machete that he’d picked up at one of the previous homes they occupied. It was a good thing that he had because zombies couldn’t be killed with a gun. At best, it could only hope to slow them down. Now they at least had a fighting chance.
I’ll be damned if you think I’m letting any of you get past me.