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Buck knew he was going to marry Eddie when they kissed for the first time. He knew even before that kiss, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Eddie. And with Christopher. But during that time, they were just friends or more like desperately convincing each other that they were just that, ignoring the romantic tension between them, and telling everyone who noticed said tension as well that their relationship is just very platonic. Well, that was bullshit. When they finally got a grip and made their relationship official, surprising no one, Buck just knew that he had to marry Eddie one day. Originally, Buck didn’t think much of marriage, only considered it to be a piece of paper, but that was before he had Eddie. But being with him made him oddly romantic. He wanted to symbolize how much he loved that man and express his wish of staying with him until they died by that. They behaved like a married couple already anyway, bickering like an old couple that’s been married for 50 years while working together smoothly like two halves of one body. Now he wanted to make it official after two years of dating.
There was no one in this world he loved more than Eddie (well, and Chris. He also loved the 118 and Maddie and her baby but you know, Eddie is special.) and he wanted to show how off much he loved him, full of pride, to the entire world. He wasn’t too sure if Eddie wanted to get married again, after everything that happened with Shannon, so he made some comments about getting married for a second time at Maddie and Chimneys wedding, to see what Eddie had on his mind about remarriage. Fact is, that he thought it was truly wonderful to get a second chance at love and everyone, who has the opportunity, should take it. That was the one thing Buck had to check before finally asking Eddie the question.
The other thing Buck had to do, was talking to Christopher. It was important for Buck to get the little guys blessings before he asked Eddie. After all, marriage would make him the official step-father to Chris. He already kind of saw himself as Christopher’s dad, so did Eddie and so did all of their friends. And he knew how much Chris loved him but he didn’t want to overwhelm Chris by not talking with him about it first. Luckily, Chris was somehow more excited about the whole marriage topic than Buck was.
“And then you are going to be my dad? Officially?”, Chris had asked him with his big shining smile and Buck just nodded. Christopher called him Dad already anyway, but the boy was clever and understood the concept of becoming a step parent, at least in front of the law, through marriage.
“That is so cool! We’re going to have a big party, right?” Buck laughed and ruffled through Chris’ hair.
“I have to talk to your dad about this first, after he said yes, but you know me, I would love to have the biggest wedding party this city has ever seen.” Christopher seemed just pleased with this response.
“Are we done now? I kinda wanna continue playing among us.” Chris said and Buck rolled his eyes. He was totally becoming a teenager.
“Yes, but one last thing Chris, no word to your dad. Do not mention weddings, engagements, rings, not even cake in front of him. I really want it to be a surprise that catches him off guard.”
“I promise I won’t say a word.”
Christopher stayed the only person who knew what Buck was planning to do. He had to fight the urge to tell the whole team all the details, every single day but he couldn’t risk someone accidently telling Eddie or making him suspicious because everyone would look at him with that kind of look where you just can’t not get suspicious.
He asked for the day off when he planned to do it, to prepare everything, saying he had a dental appointment and had to pick up the new closet they had ordered for Chris. Since he had no good excuse to also convince Eddie to take the day off, he just hoped that the shift would be smooth and easy so Eddie didn’t come home too tired. Being the romantic he was since he met Eddie, he planned on asking him with tons of candles and roses in their backyard. It was cliché but he knew Eddie secretly loved it when Buck was doing some romantic gestures.
“Edmundo Diaz, would you do me the honor and become my husband?” Buck stood in front of the mirror in their bedroom, practicing how to ask Eddie. “No that’s way too formal…Eddie Diaz, will you marry me? Boring. God this is hard.”, he mumbled and run a hand across his face. It was just a single, simple question. He never thought it would be this hard. But to be fair, before he met Eddie, he didn’t think he would ever ask someone this question. “I could compare him to the sun or something. Or is that too cliché?” God he is really freaking out, alone, with just his reflection in the room. Pathetic. Maybe he should just improvise, tell Eddie how much he meant to him, make him tons of compliments and then add the marriage question at the end. Simple plan, not easy to mess up. It should go just fine. Internally he just waited for someone to ask him what he loved about Eddie because there was just so much so he didn’t fear not coming up with anything when he was in front of him. So, improvising it is.
He wanted to fix his hair and change his shirt before preparing the rest of the things he needed for his plan. He already dropped Christopher off at his Abuelas house, put on a clean jeans and most importantly, already put the ring box in his back pocket. Everything went according to plan, yet he was nervous. You don’t ask the love of your life to marry you that often. Taking another deep breath, he picked up his phone from their bed to check if his time management was still going well. To his surprise, when he unlocked the phone, 24 missed calls appeared on the screen.
24.
24 calls from Hen, Chimney, Bobby and even Athena. None from Eddie. Immediately, a bad feeling spread through his body and he felt like someone was clutching his heart. With shaking fingers, he tried to return one of the calls, when Hen’s name popped up on the screen. While taking a shaky breath, he accepted the call. Just because he feels like something bad has happened, it doesn’t mean it has to be true. It simply can’t be true. Not today.
“Please, don’t say what I think you’re going to say.”
“Buck, listen I’m so sorry.”, he heard Hen say with her soft and clam voice, but he easily noticed how dreadful worried she sounded.
He felt like puking. “Hen, what happened?”
He only heard the most important facts during the rest of the call. The only thing on his mind, the only thing he could focus on, was Eddie. He never left the house as fast as when Hen finally hung up.
Buck knew the direction of the hospital Eddie was in way too good for his own liking. He was usually a good and safe driver but right now, he was breaking so many tempo limits, driving over yellow lights, only seeing the road before him, blending out everything else. Sometimes, time doesn’t feel real, like when you are driving at night or when you are at the airport in the early morning hours. Neither did it feel real now. The clock in the car told him, that only 10 minutes have passed since he got the call, but he feels like it’s been 10 hours and yet he’s still so far away from Eddie because of the goddamn L.A traffic.
He doesn’t fully know what happened, only grasped that there was a building, only Eddie was inside. Then it collapsed. That he was unconscious, had blood in his mouth, but was alive. God, he wanted to reach the hospital so bad, he wanted nothing more than to be there for Eddie, to hold him and feel his heart beat. Buck knew the risks of being a firefighter and that it wasn’t so unlikely that one of them wouldn’t make it home one day. But Eddie was always so careful and Buck was always there by his side, ready to protect him from all harm and vice versa. They hadn’t had an injury for so long and now Eddie is in the hospital. Buck felt guilt wandering through his body. He wasn’t there today, to have Eddie’s back and now he’s hurt. Of course he couldn’t have prevented the building from collapsing but maybe the outcome would have been different.
Walking into the waiting area of the hospital, his nose immediately filled up with the penetrating and way too familiar smell of disinfectants. He saw Bobby and the rest of the team sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chairs, their tears gleaming in the dark fluorescent lights. They looked so disturbed, Buck had to swallow before walking towards them.
“Buck.”, Bobby said an gave him such a sorry look, his eyes full of pity. Buck wanted to scream. He didn’t want them to look like this at him. He was okay (at least physically, he admitted to himself) and Eddie was not. But instead of screaming, he allowed himself to cry. At first, only a few tears rolled down his cheeks, but when Bobby but his arms around Buck, to pull him into a hug, he started sobbing.
He felt his tears wetting Bobbys uniform, snot coming from his nose and he started to let out weird noises. But he didn’t care. It was like he was in some state of shock before he got here, oddly numb and now just wants to sob his heart out. He was with his family and god, he needed this. Soon, he also felt the arms of Hen and Chimney around his body, making him feel so thankful for his chosen family. That he found people, that will cry with him in a hospital waiting room.
After some time, they let go of each other, when Buck’s tears stopped running down his face, leaving him with red and puffy eyes. “I wanted to propose to him today. I wanted to marry him and now he might be dead.” Buck said and he felt like his heart was breaking again.
“Oh Buck.”, Hen whispered and gave him another sympathetic look.
“Listen Buck, there was nothing we could have done to prevent that from happening. Eddie was just about to leave the building, when the first floor collapsed. We were just there to help some teenagers, who thought it would be cool to skate through an abandoned building, risking some broken bones in the process. We had no idea it could just collapse like that.”, Bobby calmly explained Buck the situation.
“I know. I’m not blaming any of you I just-“ Buck sunk down on one of the chairs, burying his face in his hands. “I just want to know if he’s alive, or if he has any major injures like a spinal injury or if there is any major brain damage or if he’s in a coma or something. Some firefighters were buried under more and only had some scratches, others never woke up again. I need to know because it’s tearing me apart from inside not knowing if I will ever return to our house with him by my side. God, what am I going to tell Christopher? That both of his parents died before he even went to high school?”
“Buck, he was alive when we pulled him out. His breathing was weak but he was breathing. He’s not dying.”
“Maybe not. But you know what brain damage can do to a person. Fuck, I need him to be okay. I can’t do this without him, Bobby.”
“And you won’t have to.”
They continued to wait in silence, Buck jumping out of his chair every time a Doctor passed them by. To make it even worse, the box with the engagement ring was pressing lightly into his skin, since he sat down. It was supposed to be one of their most special days, instead it definitely went down as one of the worst ones so far.
After what felt like hours, a Doctor called out Eddie’s name and Buck jumped up. “I’m Evan Buckley, his-“, he stopped himself before saying boyfriend. He knew hospital policy and how few rights you had when you were just in a relationship. “Fiancé.” Technically, this wasn’t even a lie. They would’ve been engaged by now.
“Ok Mr.Buckley, first of all Mr.Diaz is alive. He is pretty banged up, his left leg is broken, a tibia fracture to be specific. It will take around 6 weeks to heal. He also suffered a concussion, but it’s very mild. There is also a broken rib, which caused the most trouble, as the rib punctured the lung, leaving Mr.Diaz with a pneumothorax. We were able to apply a thoracic drainage. He is expected to make a full recovery, with no permanent damage. He is still asleep from the anesthetic but you can go sit with him, if you want.”
Buck felt like letting out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding in. Eddie would be okay. There was so much he felt in this exact moment, so much relive and love and hope, but he couldn’t think about that now, no. He just wanted to see Eddie.
Entering the hospital room, he slowly closed the door and silently pulled a chair to Eddie’s bedside, trying to not make too much noise. He needed to rest. Taking a closer look at Eddie, Buck felt like crying again. He looked worse than he imagined, but he was okay.
He was okay. He kept repeating this to himself, as if it suddenly wasn't true anymore, if he stopped doing it.
There were several bruises and cuts all over his body and beautiful face, that was hidden behind an oxygen mask. A big cut on his forehead was taped and his leg was in a cast. Carefully, he took Eddies hand in his, stroking the back of it with his thumb.
“Can’t let you out of my sight for one day.”, he whispered and his lips turned into his fondest smile, that was reserved for Eddie, and only for him. He continued to caress Eddies hand, whispering sweet nothings when he noticed Eddie stirring in his sleep.
“Eddie?” He dropped Eddies hand and instead moved his own hands to Eddies face, when the man he loved slowly opened his brown eyes and god, Buck was so thankful to see them again.
“Hey, hey, it’s fine you’re fine. I’m here.”, he said and Eddies lips turned into a weak smile.
Eddie took off his oxygen mask. “Buck.”, he whispered and weakly raised his hand again, but this time to touch Bucks hand that still had Eddies face in them.
“Yeah babe, it’s me. I’m here with you.”
“I thought I was dying.”
“But you didn’t. You said you would never leave me, and you never fail to keep a promise.”
Eddie lightly started laughing, but that quickly turned into a cough.
“Easy baby. You injured your lung, but it’s okay now.” Buck said and moved the oxygen mask over Eddies mouth again.
“I’m okay. Where’s Chris?”, he asked with a raspy voice, after having calmed down from the coughing attack.
“At Abuela's house. Shit, I haven’t told him yet I was just…I was so afraid.”
“Me too. It’s okay. Its probably late and he’s only missing out his dads being so in love in a hospital room.” Eddie took off his oxygen mask again, but before Buck could protest, he asked “Can you give me a kiss? Please.”
And who was Buck to say no to his injured man? So he did what he was asked to, giving Eddie a long kiss. It felt quiet good to do so, after fearing that he could never do that again.
“Go to sleep babe, I will be here when you wake up. You need to rest.”
“Lie down with me?” Eddie asked softly, his eyes already closed. Again, Buck just couldn’t say no. So he carefully climbed into the hospital bed, trying to not rip out any of the IV’s and to not touch the casted leg or the broken rib. He slide up a bit, so Eddie could rest his head on his chest, and put on arm around him. “I love you, Eddie.”, he whispered, pressing a quick kiss into the soft, brown hair. “Hm love you too.”, Eddie mumbled, before falling asleep again.
Buck fell asleep as well, wondering where he was for a second when he woke up, when he remembered everything. He felt panic rising up inside of him, but then he felt the weight of Eddies head on his chest and when he looked down, big brown eyes looked back at him.
“Hi.”, Eddie whispered.
“Hi.”, he answered, bowing his head down to give Eddie a kiss.
“Bobby was here. He said he called my Abuela. She’s coming with Chris after school.” Eddie told him and Buck internally thanked Bobby for doing that.
“That’s good. I miss having my family complete.”
“It’s only been a day.”
“Yes but it was one horrible day.”
“Why was Chris at Abuela’s anyway? I know you had stuff to do but by now he is used to being home alone for some hours.” Eddie asked and Buck rolled his eyes.
Yes, yesterday was horrible, but at least Eddie was so tired that he didn’t ask any questions Buck didn’t have a good excuse for. So he decided to go with the truth.
“Well, this is not how I planned to do it but anyway. You nearly died yesterday. Losing you is my worst fear and it nearly happened. I love you so much Eddie and I hate seeing you in pain. I hate that I couldn’t protect you and I kinda want to beat that building up for hurting you. You and Chris, you are my family. I never loved like this before and I want to spend the rest of my life like this.” Eddies eyes grew wider with every word Buck said. “I had it all planned out, that’s why I dropped Chris off at Abuela’s. I was going to ask you to marry me, Eddie.”
By the time Buck finished, they both had tears in their eyes.
“Yes.” Eddie suddenly said and Buck gave him a confused look. “What?”
“Yes, I want to marry you Buck. Yes, thousand times yes.”
“But Eddie…no that was not how I planned it. Definitely not in a hospital bed. I didn’t even ask you correctly.
“I don’t care. I love you and I want to marry you.”
Knowing how stubborn Eddie could be, Buck decided to stop discussing with him. It didn’t went to plan anyway.
“Might as well make it official then.” Buck stirred around in the bed, to get a grip on the ring box in his pocket.
“Eddie Diaz, if you would do me the honor and become my husband.”, he said while opening up the box, revealing the simple, silver ring to Eddie. Their initials and the date of their first kiss were carved in on the inside. Buck slowly took the ring out and put it gently on Eddies bruised finger. He looked speechless.
“I love it. I love you.”
Buck took Eddies fingers in his and gave a gentle kiss to his boyfriends fiances hand. They were still scared and bruised but they would be okay.