Work Text:
You don’t notice when things happen slowly, especially when they’re happening to you. When slow change surrounds you, it doesn’t look like change at all, it appears normal.
That was how Riley found herself sleeping in the early hours of the morning, instead of those in the evening. She didn’t know how or why the change happened it just did, some nights she got in bed early enough but stayed staring at the ceiling for hours on end, after enough of those nights she just stopped trying altogether.
The thing with sleep deprivation is it affects you in ways you don’t notice right away, like getting rid of your impulse control. When asked how she slept last night, or how she was doing, Riley never answered ‘badly’ or ‘tired’, she answered ‘fine’, on impulse. The impulse wasn’t to lie, it was to hide her dismal sleep because she didn’t need to get anyone concerned about her. But another thing about sleep deprivation is that it messes with your thought process, and when hiding something, it makes you sloppy.
Mistake number one of Riley’s was the text. She didn’t remember what it was about, only that the other’s had been discussing something and had gone to bed, but she had only checked her phone and seen the messages around two. Without thinking about it, she had responded to them. She thought nothing of it until the morning when she got texts like.
Maya: riles you ok?
Lucas: Riley get sleep pls
Farkle: Riley, that is a terrible time to be awake at.
And instinctively she replied:
Riley: I was just going to the bathroom don’t worry abt it
Because sleep deprivation meant that instinct ruled her and instinct said to hide.
Mistake number two was makeup, a lack thereof. Dark circles aren't always noticeable, especially if they develop slowly enough, and they’re not a thing friends notice right away.
Of course, if your friends are someone like Farkle it’s noticed earlier than usual, it’s pointed out to your friends in a worried tone, and you’re asked about them. When this happens to Riley, she shrugs it off, like they’re a new thing, and her friends believe her because why shouldn’t they? Maybe Farkle’s suspicious but he’s not going to accuse Riley, the good one, of lying, because why would she lie?
It’s a question Riley asks herself because the last thing about sleep deprivation is it losens your grip on reality. Riley didn’t think about the lies at first, it's safer not to question instinct, but without sleep, spare time stretches and sometimes you start thinking while awake, your brain starts trying to process, as it usually would when you're asleep, and you're there, an intruder in your own brain's processes, and you realize you’ve been lying so much. And if you’re lying so much, so easily, are you really a good person anymore? A good friend, to be lying so often? The thoughts spin and spin and spin and sleep doesn’t come, until Riley finds herself in history class.
History class is always comforting for her, she suspects that’s because her dad teaches it and she’s surrounded by her best friends, the people who make her feel safe, so as her dad lectures on about something she feels her muscles relax, her eyes drift closed, until…
“Riles!” Maya is shaking her, eyes wide, because her best friend just fell asleep in class, out of the ordinary enough, never mind that it was in her father’s class.
“Hm?” Riley raised her head, blinking sleep out of her eyes, only then realizing that she had fallen asleep. “Shoot, sorry.”
She turned her attention to the board where her father shook his head. “Class dismissed,” he pointed to Riley and her friends. “Bay window.”
So that’s where they went. All entering through the window, except Zay who still insisted on using the door.
“Riley, when was the last time you had a full night’s sleep?” Farkle asked.
“I sleep!” Riley argued, it was supposed to be defensive but Maya’s hand was in her hair and it was just so nice that she might doze off again except wait, no, that’s what got her into this trouble in the first place, so she shot up, almost knocking herself off the bay window, except Lucas grabbed her and held her steady until she regained her balance.
“No one’s saying that you don’t sleep, we’re just saying that maybe you don’t sleep a healthy amount,” Lucas said.
“I-“ Riley’s instinct was to lie, to hide it, but after last night she couldn’t do that either.
“Riley, when was the last time you got a full night of sleep?” Farkle asked.
“Uh,” Riley didn’t know, shoot. “I’m sure I’ve gotten one before,” she said, finally.
Lucas tensed behind her and Maya’s fingers froze for a moment before continuing their stroking.
“You don’t know?” Lucas asked. He sounded angry, which really had Riley thinking that maybe she was right for lying in the first place.
“I-”
“Lucas,” Maya hissed. “Not helpful, you either control your temper or you get out.”
Lucas sighed. “Sorry, Riley, I just, I want you to be taking care of yourself.”
“We all do,” Farkle said.
“I am!” Riley argued. “It was just a slip-up.”
"Riley, was it a slip up because it was a slip up? Or was it a slip up because we saw?" Smackle asked.
Riley stayed quiet and that was all the answer her friends needed.
“Riley, that isn't a slip up,” Zay said. "You know it isn't."
“I lied," Riley admitted, as if they didn't already know, "To your faces, I’m a horrible friend!” Riley blinked back tears.
“Sweetie, you’re not a horrible friend,” Maya whispered something to Lucas and Riley found herself being picked up.
“Lucas!” It’s barely a protest, Riley was so tired and Lucas was comfy.
Maya bounded over to the bed and Lucas placed Riley next to her. “Riley, you’re going to catch up on sleep now, and we can figure out how to make sure it stays that way in the morning.”
“It’s three o’clock, how am I supposed to go to sleep at three o’clock?” Riley asked
“We’ll help,” Farkle promised, slipping in next to Riley.
Lucas and Zay looked at each other before shrugging, this was not the weirdest thing they’d seen this friend group do, so they too joined the cuddle pile forming on the bed.
"You coming Smackle?" Zay asked.
Smackle looked at the pile and sat carefully down next to Farkle.
“This okay, Riley?” Lucas asked.
Riley looked a bit overwhelmed, it came with the territory of functioning on minimal sleep. “I think so.”
“Well you let us know if it’s not,” Maya said, “And we’ll find another way to get you to sleep.”
When Cory came in to check on his daughter he found her and her friends sleeping in her bed. Riley curled up between Maya and Farkle, Smackle sitting next to them-glasses still on, Zay and Lucas at the foot of the bed, curved around the group at the top. He beckoned to Topanga who smiled and took a photo. Then they closed the door. He didn’t even chase Lucas out.