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"God this is a shithole, why do we come here again?" The pair had shuffled into The Hogs Head in an attempt to escape the swiftly falling snow outside, forgetting how grimy the palace could truly be. Sat in a corner on rickety stools, James and Sirius couldn't help but to stare at the disgusting mugs filled with dusty and gritty butterbeer. Neither particularly wanted to drink it, but they had spent money and couldn't help but to keep drinking to make the experience worth it.
"Because now that Harry's at Hogwarts we don't want to cramp his style by going to the Three Broomsticks, even though we both wish we were there instead," Sirius grimaced as he downed the rest of his drink, wiping at his mouth in disgust, "plus, it's filled with the rest of those heathen students we have to teach all week long, and I don't aspire to spend more time with them than I have to."
James snorted into his mug at that, completely agreeing with his best friend, it was enough that he had to deal with them everyday at school, he didn't need to spend his free time in the near vicinity of them too. James couldn't help but to reflect on his previous job, before Harry was born and he'd been an Auror, chasing after criminals and kicking ass (although there was a lot of paperwork involved too, something he did not appreciate). He had loved his job, feeling completely fulfilled as he kept the Wizarding World safe, with Sirius at his side, they had been one of the best teams in the Ministry.
After Lily left though, he couldn't keep putting himself in the line of fire, he had to make sure that he was there to raise Harry and make sure he grew up in a loving and stable home. So he quit, taking a teaching job at Hogwarts as a Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. He hadn't expected that just a few short weeks later Sirius would join him at the school, unable to work with anyone other than him at the Ministry. Sirius took up the position of History of Magic professor, finally giving the students an accurate and full education that they desperately needed, he also somehow managed to make it fun, which baffled James. He was just so glad that his best friend was there with him, right at his side.
"Do you remember when we first went to Hogsmeade? You spent the whole time flirting with Rosmerta," Sirius snorted, nodding his head as they both began to laugh, "I still can't believe how much she let you get away with!"
"Like when she gave me that Firewhisky in fourth year and we all got pissed on the Quidditch Pitch," Sirius began to howl with laughter, shaking in his seat as he barely got the words out, "and like an idiot, me and you decided to streak across the grounds!"
"Minnie's face was a picture! She didn't know what to do!" The dingy and dim pub filled with their laughter as the pair hunched over in the corner, shoulders shaking as they drunkenly leaned against one another.
"Merlin, we were hellions in school, this is definitely some kind of karma isn't it?" James nodded, considering it. "Ah well, more drinks?"
"Best get the Firewhisky out if we're heading down memory lane!"
~oOo~
They were both completely drunk as skunks, struggling to hold one another up as they made their way out of The Hog's Head, arms wrapped around their shoulders in an attempt at maintaining balance and stability. Heading through Hogsmeade on the way back to Hogwarts, the pair managed to hold themselves upright on shaky legs.
"I've missed doing this Prongsy!" Sirius slurred his words, as his head lulled to the side, before coming to rest on James' shoulder.
"I've missed this too Paddy! Merlin being responsible sucks!" James rested his head atop Sirius' wild mane of curls, nuzzling his face into his friend's hair, seeking comfort from the fuzziness in his head.
"Ughh, responsibility! Sometimes I wish we were young again, fun and free and only sixteen," Sirius sighed as thoughts of everything he had missed out on due to adult responsibility overwhelmed him, "Merlin those were the days!"
"You used to go off at all hours and come back with lipstick stains on your neck and shirt," James snickered as Sirius smirked, a slight blush staining his cheeks. "I was completely obsessing over Lily."
"As per usual, and you loved her so it was understandable! I was just some wannabe rebel trying to piss my parents off," Sirius had come to terms with the fact that a lot of his actions, from underage drinking to promiscuity, stemmed from a need to rebel. His home life had never been great, leading to him constantly trying to separate himself from his family and the Black name.
"You know, I don't think I loved her as much as I thought I did," he was contemplative, yet sorrowful as he spoke. Trying to make sense of his own tumultuous thoughts that had been brewing for so long, lingering on the periphery of his subconscious. "I think I was in love with the idea of being in love."
"Prongs, that was some moving shit right there, but don't sell what you had together short. You definitely loved her, and she gave you Harry," Sirius was firm in his words. "I may hate her for leaving you, and leaving him, but she gave you that boy and you adore him. At one time, you adored her too."
"That's true. I suppose I just sometimes feel that there are things I should have gone for in life that I didn't, because I didn't want to make the same mistakes, you know?" His voice was hoping, pleading for Sirius to understand where he was coming from. Sirius swallowed, trying to contain the words that just wanted to blurt out. He knew exactly what James was talking about, hell, Sirius had held in his true feelings for almost fifteen years.
"Yeah, I know what that's like," he breathed in deeply, readying himself to just stay quiet and listen to James' problems. Without thinking, or realising, he opened his drunken mouth. "Fuck it! You know what, I'm going to tell you something, and it's going to change everything about our friendship, including the way you view me as a friend."
"Paddy, nothing you say will make me think less of you, you know that" James blinked slowly as he gazed into Sirius' eyes, trying to ignore the pull between them, the temptation that constantly made him want to reach over and place a smacking kiss on his pale lips.
"Alright, I fucking love you James Potter!"
Both froze, unable to comprehend that he had actually blurted it out. They were suddenly both sober, no longer feeling the effects of the Firewhisky they had drowned themselves in earlier that day. James could barely make his mouth work, struggling to get the words that he so desperately wished to say out of his mouth. Sirius, noticing the gormless look on his best friends face, turned his head away, trying to contain the emotions that were filling him up, the disappointment and mortification at having blurted out his biggest secret.
"You-you what?" Hope swelled within James as he desperately needed Sirius to reaffirm his confession, needing to know that he wasn't hearing things.
"I love you, I have for a long time! Hell, that's the reason I left the Ministry. I couldn't cope with not having you there, and I know that you probably don't feel the same way, and that Harry wouldn't like it, but I just needed to finally let it out."
"You know, Harry's spent the last five or so years trying to convince me I should ask you out, I just didn't think you would be interested in me." It was said in such an offhand manner, that it took Sirius a moment to realise what James had just confessed to. He couldn't believe that they had both spent years pining for one another, only to never realise it nor make a move until they were completely drunk out of their minds.
"I should have just snogged you senseless years ago!"
"I mean, there's nothing stopping you from doing it now you know?"
Lips slammed against lips as the pair fumbled to keep one another upright without separating themselves from the tangled mess of limbs they had created. Neither could bare the thought of letting the other go after waiting so long to be so close. Gently separating, forehead resting against forehead as whiskey breath mingled between them, neither could picture a better way to end an evening.