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the rain pounded down on the roof of loona’s dorm, waking up a sleep deprived hyejoo. it was early, maybe five. the morning sun threatened to peek it’s head through storm clouds but decided against itself, sinking back into the gray sky.
everyone else was still asleep. hyejoo just so happened to be the unlucky one to wake up due to loud claps of thunder. she wished the environment woke someone else up, even if it was selfish for her to think. she just wanted someone to talk to. better yet, she wished she could go back to sleep. that would be the best case scenario.
hyejoo slinked back under her blanket, trying her hardest to block out the sonorous thunder and flashes of bright lightning. she tried putting the pillow over her ears but the sounds of rain still followed her. it seemed a meek two hours of sleep would be all for that night as hyejoo tossed and turned in bed.
“can you stop making so much noise? i’m trying to sleep,” an annoyed sooyoung said from the bottom bunk. she seemed to have the rain blocked out of her ears just fine. maybe she was awoken by the storm as well and hyejoo wasn’t making it better.
“sorry,” hyejoo weakly responded. she felt bad for interrupting sooyoung’s sleep. the same sooyoung who she hasn’t been on the best of terms with. hyejoo sighed, shoving her face deeper into her pillow. why can’t she just sleep? she wished she could just close her eyes and rest for an eternity. it was awful.
her three to two hours of rest a night was catching up with her. her lack of sleep was even present during practice today. she held back the other members and it made her feel awful. hyejoo was letting everything get to her and she was afraid she was just going to burst with all these negative emotions. hell, she basically already did with sooyoung.
the girl turned onto her side, staring at the blank wall ahead of her. a little bit of light was beginning to filter in through the windows. it was barely enough to see, however. the clouds blocking the sun rays made it so the windows got limited light. it made hyejoo upset as she couldn’t even stare at the wall for a couple hours before collapsing from exhaustion. it was so frustrating.
“hye,” a voice from the bottom bed spoke. “are you ok? go to sleep.”
hyejoo cursed sooyoung. she wished she could just go to sleep. everything would be so much more simple. still, she was stuck laying in bed with thousands of negative thoughts swimming through her mind. she hated every single second of it.
“what’s wrong?” sooyoung gently asked. her leader sounded genuinely concerned for her. even after she lashed out at her. hyejoo wondered how sooyoung could be such a good person.
“i just have a lot going through my head is all.” hyejoo wasn’t lying but she wasn’t telling the full truth. it felt like she was lying but not just to her fellow member but also to herself.
“ah, well, i’m coming up, ok? i hope you don’t mind.” sooyoung slipped out of bed and climbed the small ladder to the top bunk. there, she saw a disheveled hyejoo, prominent bags under her eyes as well as half closed eyes that just won’t shut. the younger girl looked awful and sooyoung just couldn’t have that.
“hyejoo-ah, what’s wrong?” sooyoung wrapped her arms around hyejoo’s frame, cuddling the youngest. “don’t lie to me this time either.”
hyejoo felt her mouth go dry as she let the guilt wrack her sleepless mind. she was going to come clean, no doubt about it, but she felt like her problems were just burdens. the yyxy girls had other issues like learning the new choreographies they were given or memorizing their lines. even what they were going to eat was more important. hyejoo’s sleeplessness and deteriorating mental health were at the bottom of the list of worries.
“sorry, unnie,” hyejoo began. “i don’t think i want to talk about them.” sooyoung snuggled closer to hyejoo who smiled weakly at the older’s warmth. she felt safe in her leader’s arms, as if they were made to protect her and the other members of their subunit.
sooyoung gently squeezed hyejoo in her arms, mumbling something along the lines of ‘it’s ok. tell me when you’re ready.’ before drifting off back to sleep.
hyejoo stared at sooyoung’s sleeping figure for a little while, studying her features. sooyoung was an ugly sleeper, she thought to herself. her thought made her laugh a little, her body feeling heavier than usual. her lids also felt a bit too heavy. maybe she was going to get more sleep after all.
the rain was still pouring but the thunder and lightning had ceased to exist. the rain alone made a comforting sound that hyejoo felt herself drifting off to. she internally thanked sooyoung for being a source of comfort. even if she didn’t do much, her skinny arms around hyejoo’s waist made everything feel alright.
the sun never came out that morning. only later did it appear just before disappearing again. still, it made an effort to look through the gray clouds that painted the skyline and expose itself to the world. hyejoo admired that. how the sun could be so open if even for just a second. It was so honest that it inspired her. It made her think that maybe one day she could look past the gray skies too.