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Castiel would never admit it, but he never saw it coming. You would think that after all of the years he has endured this pain, he would recognize it right away. However, that is not the case here. He didn’t, and really, he only has himself to blame for not noticing the signs when they first started.
It was only small things at first...
He walks into the kitchen and finds his husband and daughter giggling quietly while eating animal cookies. Cas’ heart melts. They adopted the sweet blonde into their family the year after they got married. Her biological parents had died in a car crash when she wasn’t even two years old; luckily Claire wasn’t with them at the time. Cas and Dean had already gone through the whole qualification process for the foster to adopt program, and were the first couple called when the accident happened. They both instantly fell for the young girl. Dean claimed it was her bright blue eyes that did him in, saying they reminded him so much of Cas’. Cas said it was the happy smile that drew him to her in the first place. Claire had already gone through so much at such a young age, yet she smiles an adorable gummy smile that just shines with pure joy. He made a pact with himself right then and there to always do whatever he can to keep that smile firmly on his daughter’s face.
As he stands in the doorway watching the two most important people in his life, he feels like he has succeeded in following his pact so far. Claire is now eight and is growing up way too fast for his liking. He wants her to stay his little baby girl for as long as possible.
Dean whispers something in Claire’s ear while holding a pink sprinkled cookie which causes the little girl’s nose to scrunch up before she giggles. The sound is the sweetest sound that Cas has ever heard (a lot better than the screaming she did a few years prior). When Dean catches sight of Cas he quickly eats the cookie and looks at him with the most innocent look a full-grown man could possibly possess.
That should’ve set Cas’ internal alarms blaring immediately. His husband only ever makes that face, with his slightly pouty lips and sparkling Disney princess eyes, when he knows he is doing something Cas wouldn’t approve of. That exact look has gotten Dean out of a lot of trouble with his husband many times. Luckily, Cas has mastered the puppy dog eyes so he gets out of equal amounts of trouble. Really, the two of them just can't seem to get mad at each other and tend to allow some things to just be let go. Like the fact that Cas always forgets about his wet towel on the floor in their bathroom. Or Dean forgets the dirty pot on the stove when it's his turn to do the dishes. Or when they are at the local farmers market and Cas catches sight of the booth selling honey even though they have two jars at home already. Or even when Dean gives their daughter sugar at night when Cas already told her it was too close to bedtime. Claire’s own puppy dog eyes don't help matters either. Cas already struggles to tell her no when he needs to, and if you add in Dean’s pleading looks, there isn’t a single power in the universe strong enough to deny them anything.
The next sign that Cas missed started as a normal day of grocery shopping. He decides to take Claire with him since he has the day off and Dean has to report to the school to get his room set up for the start of classes next week.
They are walking through the parking lot and all of a sudden Claire starts snapping her fingers. Cas didn’t even know his daughter knew how to snap. When he asks her where she learned how to do that she just says her daddy taught her. It didn’t seem too suspicious at the time since it was something Dean would teach his kid. As they walk through the store, Cas observes e Claire looking around a lot more than she normally would. He assumes she is curious, a natural characteristic of her age. Claire looks both ways around corners before walking out of the aisle, the whole time snapping her little fingers. She looks high on the shelves, stretching up onto her tippy toes, as if she is searching for something, still snapping. Cas asks, but the only response he gets is something along the lines of ‘hungry hungry hippos’. Which he is almost certain is a board game for kids. Probably something else Dean told their daughter about. As they finish up and are walking back out to their car, the snapping starts to annoy Castiel.
“Claire, why do you keep snapping your fingers?” he asks, probably much harsher than is necessary, but listening to continuous snapping and not snapping himself was a bit beyond him at the moment.
“To keep the hungry hungry hippos away,” Claire responds simply, as if the answer made complete sense.
“What do you mean, sweetie?” Cas asks much gentler this time.
“Snapping scares away the hungry hippos so they won't eat me!” his fiery eight-year-old daughter states.
“And who told you that snapping would do that?” he knows for a fact who it most likely was, but he doesn’t know why.
“Daddy.”
“Claire, honey, not everything your father says is true, you know that right?”
The young blonde rolls her deep blue eyes, “Of course I know that, Papa.”
“That's good. I don’t think you have to worry about hippos here okay? I can honestly say I have never seen a hippo at the grocery store,” Cas says, hoping they can move on without the continual snapping of fingers.
“Well, duh!” Claire rolls her eyes again. “It's ‘cause of all my snapping!”
She continues the walk to the car, snapping her fingers as she goes, leaving Cas to watch her with a shocked expression on his face. What on Earth did his husband tell their daughter to convince her to snap everywhere she goes? All just to keep the “hungry hungry hippos” (that don't even exist!) away. Cas shakes his head in exasperation before following his daughter to their car. He makes a mental note to ask his husband later that night to convince him to tell Claire that she doesn’t have to worry about hippos all of the time. Somehow, that note gets lost in the flurry of activity that night. Dean brings home their favorite take out for dinner and a surprise cupcake for Claire and a different (very not child-friendly) surprise for Cas once their little girl is asleep in her bed.
Cas can’t really blame himself for missing that warning sign either, considering his level of distraction
The third sign really should have been obvious. How he missed it, he still doesn’t know.
Cas is sitting in their comfy breakfast nook drinking his coffee and reading the local newspaper one Saturday morning. It’s the end of summer, the last weekend before Dean goes back to work full time and their little princess joins him for her first day of third grade. They did manage to get her into Dean’s class, which will be good for both of them. Probably not so good for Cas, but that's okay, he can handle their shenanigans. Maybe they will wear each other out before they even get home and Cas won't have to deal with them. It's unlikely, but a man can dream.
“Papa, what's your favorite animal?” Claire asks, when she climbs into the little nook to sit next to him.
“Hmmm that's a hard one, I love a lot of animals,” Cas answers honestly. He works at a zoo for a reason. “If I had to pick one it would probably have to be the tiger.”
“Tiger!” Claire exclaims before bouncing off the seat in search of something.
Cas watches her go with amusement in his eyes. He has no idea what his daughter is up to (probably nothing good), but she's cute and he loves her enthusiasm. With nothing else to distract him, Cas goes back to reading his morning paper.
A few hours later, the three of them take a walk to the park, trying to soak up the last of summer. Claire is running up ahead while Dean intertwines his fingers with Cas’. It’s moments like these that Cas is reminded of how amazing his life has turned out. He has a gorgeous husband who loves and adores him and the most amazing little girl. Cas won’t lie, some days they both drive him absolutely crazy, but most days are just like this. Peaceful, comfortable, and happy.
The two men settle on a nearby bench, hands still clasped together, while Claire joins a couple of other kids playing. Dean gives a small smile and courtesy wave with his free hand to the other parents spread around the park. Cas closes his eyes and takes everything in. He can hear the slight breeze whistling through the trees, the birds chirping all around them, and the laughter of young kids chasing each other.
“Daddy! Papa! Watch me!”
Cas cracks open his eyes, squinting at the bright sunlight before focusing on his daughter at the top of the slide. When Claire sees that she has their attention she moves to lay on her stomach with her arms by her side. She wiggles just enough until she starts sliding down. Cas’ heartbeat kicks up a notch as he watches his precious daughter fly down a slide headfirst with no way to stop herself. He holds his breath as Claire hits the bottom of the slide and somehow manages to gracefully slide off without hurting herself. His breath flows out of him in a steady stream as he relaxes. A gentle squeeze to his hand brings his attention to Dean and notices he has been clutching his husband's hand in a near-death grip. He loosens his hold and offers an apologetic smile, Dean just smiles back with a fond expression on his face telling Cas it’s okay.
“Papa, did you see?” Claire asks excitedly as she runs up to them.
“I did! That was quite amazing,” he tries to sound enthusiastic to cover his near panic attack.
“I was a pen-gin!” his daughter exclaims not even caring she mispronounced the animal.
Both men laugh quietly and Cas smiles at the beautiful girl in front of him. “Yes, you were a penguin. A very cute penguin!”
“Daddy said there are pen-gins at the zoo and I’ll get to see them soon,” Claire continues to babble. It’s a reminder for Cas that he gets the pleasure of having his entire family with him on field trip day this year. The thought brings a gummy smile to his face and he can’t wait to share all of the animals with Claire. Of course, this wouldn’t be the first time they’ve brought their little girl to the zoo, but each time Claire acts as if it is. Running from exhibit to exhibit, pointing at all the animals with the brightest smile on her face. Cas could spend a lifetime watching her explore the zoo and never get tired of it. He shakes his head gently and brings himself back to the present.
“... waddle do without you, remember?” Dean asks their daughter. Cas missed the first part of the conversation so he’s not quite sure what they’re talking about.
“That’s right!” Claire exclaims, clapping her hands excitedly. “And eye of the tiger!”
Dean chuckles, “Yep, you got it sweetheart.”
Claire beams at her father then runs away to play with the other kids again. Dean settles back on the bench and gently squeezes Cas’ hand. They spend the next half hour watching their daughter run around in comfortable silence. Cas really loves these kinds of days.
The next few weeks fly by. Cas leaves early for work after sharing morning coffee with his husband. Then Dean and Claire head off to school for the day. When the day is over Cas will pick up Claire while Dean finishes up and then they all have family dinner later that night.
Pretty soon it’s almost October and field trip day has finally arrived. Claire has been buzzing all week waiting for this day. The poor girl amped herself up too much to the point where the night before she had trouble falling asleep. By the time she did fall asleep, it was already two hours past her normal bedtime. The next morning Dean and Cas are woken up before their alarms by a very energetic eight-year-old climbing up onto their bed and jumping around until they both were clearly awake. Dean manages to get her to settle by pulling her into their cuddle pile until the alarm goes off. Cas uses the extra time he usually spends laying awake in the morning to make chocolate chip pancakes for everyone. Dean gives him a big chocolaty kiss in thanks before hauling Claire and her messy hands to the bathroom for a quick wash. The three of them say their goodbyes and head their own ways only to be reunited a couple hours later.
Cas is standing at the gates with Gabe and Charlie once again waiting for Dean’s third-grade class to file into the zoo. He sees the kids make their way towards the zoo officials and his eyes lock onto a little girl with blonde curly hair in the front. She has a giant smile on her face and is practically bouncing up and down. Once their eyes meet she takes off running for him. When she reaches him and stops a few feet away he crouches down to be at eye level. He is met with a pair of very excited bright blue eyes and the biggest smile he has ever seen.
“Whale, hello there, Papa!” She exclaims.
Cas looks at her in shock before rolling his eyes. He looks at the adorable girl in front of him and sees a bright smile that rivals her fathers. How he didn’t see this coming he has no idea. With a small shake of his head and a small smile of his own, he replies back to the little girl.
“Hello Claire.”
“I see our daughter beat me to it with the puns today?”
Cas looks up and sees Dean looking at the pair with a fond look on his face. Standing back up the zookeeper does his best to glare at the teacher and is met with a very satisfied grin in response.
“I should’ve seen this coming,” he admits quietly.
“Yeah Cas, you really should’ve. It’s not like we were hiding it very well either,” Dean replies with a happy smile.
That’s when it hits Cas. All the small things over the last couple of months. The cookies. The snapping. The animal questions. Cas looks down at his daughter then back to his husband. Both wearing matching smiles that melt Cas’ heart.
Apparently, today is going to be a very very long day and he really should have known better, but it whale all be worth it to see those twin smiles directed right at him.