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You stood hesitantly as you stare up at the ominous looking structure before you. You swallow the lump in your throat as you look over at the two boys standing next to you. Bill and Ted both look up at the haunted house with big, goofy grins plastered across their faces. Neither of them seemed the least bit bothered by the idea of going in--if anything, they seem excited. While you on the other hand...
"Why don't we just go to the movies instead?" You suggest, smiling hopefully as you try to mask your nerves.
"What's wrong babe, you're not scared are you?" Bill asks, smirking as he raises an eyebrow at you knowingly. He comes over and and throws an arm around your shoulders.
"N-no!" You lie, looking over at him. "I just thought the movies sounded like more fun, that's all." You pout.
"Don't worry y/n; we promise we'll protect you." Ted says seriously, putting one hand over his heart and raising the other up over his shoulder. After a second, the air of chivalry fades and he goes back to grinning at you with his usually bright, dopey smile. You sigh, looking between the two of them.
"You promise you won't leave me?" You ask.
"Babe, we swear; it would be most heinous of us to leave you alone when you are so clearly perturbed by the sight of ghost and ghouls." Ted replies.
"And you won't try to scare me?" You ask.
"We would never do something so totally bogus." Bill says with a crooked smirk. You squint at them both, then sigh.
"Fine." You groan, giving in--it was hard to say no to them.
"Excellent!" They say in unison as the air guitar.
You and the boys get in line, a mess of nerves as you get closer and closer to the entrance of the building, until it’s finally your turn to go through. You carefully step through the threshold and into a long, dark hallway, Bill and Ted on either side of you. Of course, they let you take the lead; clearly enjoying how scared you were. You inch your way down the corridor, eyes darting from side to side as as you approach the first room.
Before you make it, someone in a wolf costume bursts through the dark wall. You screech, practically jumping into Ted’s arms as the two boys laugh, totally unfazed by the creature’s sudden appearance. The monster disappears back into it’s hiding place in the wall, and you’re left shaking as you enter the first room, gripping onto Ted for dear life.
The room was dark and covered in cobwebs. You peer around, looking for the next jump scare.
"Watch out babe, you never what totally heinous thing might jump out next." Bill teases. As he says that, two people dressed as spiders jump out at once. You scream, holding onto Ted’s arm. They come at you, making like they’re going to grab you.
“Nopenopenopenopenope.” You repeat as you run away, hiding behind Bill.
The boys both laugh as you hold onto the back of Bill’s shirt, letting him lead you through the room. The spider creatures slip back into their hiding spots, allowing you to exit into another room.
This room looked like a dungeon, with bodies in cages spread around and corpses suspended from chains. You had to weave around the bodies and cages to make in to the other side, and you knew at least one of the bodies was going to be a real person--but which one? You whimper, gripping Bill’s arm like a vice as you walk through the room.
“This room is most grotesque.” Ted comments, seemingly unfazed by the disgusting props as he pokes at one of the hanging corpses.
“I have to concur Ted my friend; most grotesque indeed.” Bill says, smiling as you pass a cage with a nasty looking body in it. Your heart racing, you wait for it to jump up and scare you--thankfully, it stays still. Just a prop, you think, sighing in relief.
“Yeah it’s totally nasty, so can we just get out of here please?” You beg. The body you just past suddenly jumps up, reaching out through the bars. You screech, running forward. The body in the cage in front of you grabs for you as well, cutting you off. You scream again, nearly fall trying to avoid the corpse’s grip. Ted catches you, smiling down at you as you grip onto his chest. The two of you maneuver around as the undead creature continues to reach for you.
You make it to the door, your heart threatening to jump right out of your chest if it beats any harder, with Bill following close behind.
“Is it over yet?” You whine.
“No way! Plenty more to see babe!” Bill says, smiling over at you. You groan, but are cut off as another actor in a skeleton costume pops out of the wall. You scream and run down the dark hallway, leaving the boys behind. Another skeleton pops out of the other side of the hall, and you screech and run into the next room alone.
This room is made to look like a butcher shop, with blood everywhere and slabs of meat suspended from the ceiling. There’s a table in the center of the room with a disemboweled body on it.
“Groudy.” Ted says behind you, and you jump; he hadn’t been there a second ago. You turn around a smack him on the chest.
“You scared me!” You snap.
“Oh, sorry ‘bout that.” He say, his usually dopey grin on his face.
The three of you make your way through the room, waiting for something to pop out and scare you. The thing on the table is nasty looking, but it’s just a prop. So are the chunks of meat hanging from the ceiling. You don’t let down your guard--there has to be something.
Just as the thought crosses your mind, a wall moves in the corner of the room and a large man in a pig mask and bloody butcher’s uniform comes out; brandishing a rusty butcher’s cleaver as makes his way towards you.
“Ohmygodhomygodhomygodohmygod.” You cry, grabbing both boys and holding onto them for dear life. They just smirk as you pull them toward the exit.
“That was totally gnarly dude!” Bill says as you make it to the next hallway.
You had to disagree.
You and the boys make your way through the rest of the house in a similar fashion. There would be a creepy, themed room, where you were always completely terrified; while Bill and Ted seemed to be totally unfazed by it all. They’d smile and laugh as you got the crap scared out of you--the actors all focusing their attention on you since you were clearly the easiest target. Until finally--finally--after what seemed like an eternity in hell, you made it to the end.
You take in a deep breath as you exit the haunted house.
“Freedom!” You yell, smiling as you throw your arms out wide. “Ugh, finally! That was awful!”
Before the boys have a chance to respond, a wolfman pops out from around the corner, snarling at you. You scream, your guard down for the first time that night, and fall to the ground. The wolfman runs away, leaving you shaking with fear and rage as the boys laughed above you.
“Ugh! I hate this place!” You yell, slamming your fists on the ground like a child.
“What? No way! This place is great! We totally gotta come back here next year!” Bill says as the two of them come to help you up.
“Why can’t we ever just go to the movies?” You whine.
“But what if it’s a scary movie?” Ted asks.
“Great idea Ted!” Bill says. “We should go tomorrow!” You groan, and the boys start to laugh.
Seeing them laugh, you can’t help but laugh too--even if you weren’t totally looking forward to being scared again. You link arms with both of them and head out; the three of you walking away with smiles on your faces.