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Hyukjae rarely felt drained from group activities. He enjoyed them. They made him feel alive and motivated and even if he was tired, back in the group or around people, he normally experienced some kind of energy boost that oust away every exhaustion he might have suffered under before.
However, today was different. He had been filming all day for their Super Junior TV sequence “Living Together” with Yesung and it had been fun, really. He and Yesung had gotten along so well and even though Hyukjae couldn’t deny that he had indeed felt a little tense before the shoot, his worries had dispersed the moment he and Yesung had sat down in the car and had automatically eased into their usual banter.
Hyukjae hadn’t been able to suppress his giggles or wide smiles at the prospect of spending time with Yesung under the created rules and within this setting. He had started to feel improperly comfortable with their situation.
Yet, after they arrived back at the room where they were supposed to stay over, and after the staff took their cameras and equipment and finally left them alone so they could settle down for the night, Hyukjae felt tiredness rush over his bones and he collapsed onto the couch the second the crew walked out of the door.
Yesung disappeared into the bathroom and Hyukjae rubbed his hands over his face, his eyes slightly stinging. And while Yesung was gone, he started to realize how much this day had demanded from him. His attention had been on Yesung all the time, registering every single movement, responding to every payback or attack, memorizing every smile that was cast his way, sensing if he ever crossed the line with his mocking.
Hyukjae was aware that his crush on Yesung had taken on ridiculous dimensions and when they had been chosen as one of the couples for Living Together, he had had trouble to decide between reacting completely aghast or ecstatically excited.
Hyukjae let his back fall against the cushions on the couch, his head tilted back, eyes wandering to the ceiling and his hands resting on his thighs. He slowly allowed the one thought he had avoided all day, all week, to creep into his mind.
Sleeping next to Yesung.
Sleeping in the same bed as Yesung. Using the same blanket as Yesung. Waking up next to Yesung.
Hyukjae groaned, letting his head fall forward, focusing his gaze on his hands and how they were rubbing over his legs, displaying the turmoil going on inside his body and mind.
He lifted his head to glance over at the bed. It was a double bed, but it still appeared to be intolerably small from Hyukjae’s point of view. How on earth was he supposed to sleep in there without accidentally touching Yesung?
Maybe the worst of it all was that Hyukjae knew it should not be a problem. He had slept side by side with Yesung so many times. They had been lying next to each other on surfaces with much less space than this bed provided and it had never been a problem. Yet, now it was, it was for Hyukjae since military service had ended and apparently everything had changed for him regarding his feelings for Yesung.
And if he told Yesung that he would spend the night on the sofa? Out of politeness? Hyukjae almost chuckled, there was absolutely no reason for him to make this offer. Hell, in the end it would make Yesung suspicious and his hyung would start asking questions.
Hyukjae stood up and began pacing through the room, his hands stroking over the blue hoodie Yesung had bought for him earlier. What was taking the singer so long anyway? Again, mind you. Hyukjae was just about to yell for his hyung as he heard the door of the bathroom open and shortly after, Yesung was strolling into the room, obviously ready to go to bed.
Hyukjae froze on his spot and stared. Stared at Yesung clad in black sweatpants and a white tank top, his blond hair looking soft even if a little frizzy, probably due to the bleaching.
“Is something wrong?”, Yesung’s eyebrows furrowed slightly as he noticed the intense gaze of his dongsaeng.
“What? No. No, everything’s fine. I just didn’t know you’d already get ready for sleep.”, Hyukjae replied, inwardly shaking himself back to focus on something else than Yesung’s fair white arms and the delicate but clearly visible biceps of his hyung.
“Oh, yeah, it was a long day and I’m feeling pretty tired actually. Do you want to stay up for a while longer?”, Yesung inquired.
“Uhh, no. I’m sleepy as well, so going to bed sounds good to me.”, Hyukjae responded, his head instantly screaming over the last part of his sentence.
Yesung smiled gently and Hyukjae pulled himself together, nodded shortly, before paying the bathroom a visit as well.
When he came back, Yesung was sprawled out all over the couch, a thin blanket covering his legs and his eyes focused on the display of his phone in his hands. Hyukjae threw him a quick glance, before pulling down his pants and slipping out of the blue hoodie, leaving him in only a t-shirt. He then sat down on the bed to shed his socks as well, his gaze rising when he was done and meeting the one of Yesung.
“Are you coming to bed or what?”, Hyukjae asked dryly and Yesung’s eyes widened.
“I- uhh, I thought I’d stay on the couch?”, the singer answered hesitantly and Hyukjae could suddenly make out a faint blush rising on the older one’s cheeks.
“What? Why?”, Hyukjae responded dumbstruck which made the light rosé on Yesung’s skin increase.
“I dunno… I thought maybe you’re more comfortable with me sleeping here.. also, I probably wake up way earlier than you do and then I might disturb you and…”, Yesung was rambling, they both noticed it and all of a sudden Hyukjae realized that this day would end with the ugliest feeling in his chest if Yesung wasn’t lying in bed next to him. Despite all his nervousness, Hyukjae registered now that sharing a bed with Yesung was the part he had been looking forward to the most out of all the activities of Living Together.
“Don’t be ridiculous.”, he heard himself speak. “You can’t sleep on the couch, it’s too rigid and will hurt your back.”.
Hyukjae watched how Yesung swallowed heavily, but then his hyung stood up from the couch, carrying the thin blanket with him and moving around the bed until he was positioned on the opposite side of it and slowly let himself sank down onto the soft surface.
Their backs now turned towards each other, Hyukjae felt a light shudder run down his spine. He tried to shake it off, pulled the covers back and slid underneath them, resting his back against the headboard.
Yesung watched him attentively and followed him a second later, though, he only used the thinner blanket from the couch to cover himself and Hyukjae almost rolled his eyes, but he didn’t say anything.
Yesung began talking about their day and what was about to come tomorrow and they both started to relax, Hyukjae sinking further into the cushions, listening to Yesung’s voice and adding something to the conversation from time to time.
Soon his eyes got heavy and at some point they fell shut. Hyukjae was from now on only humming consensually to the things Yesung was saying without really registering their content.
Yesung noticed his dongsaeng drifting off into a light slumber beside him and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as Hyukjae’s head collided with a soft thump against the wall behind him.
“Hyukjae-ah.”, Yesung’s voice was soft and caring. “Come, lie down fully and get some rest, you’re dozing off already.”.
Hyukjae jolted awake for a second, immediately denying that he had been sleeping, but following Yesung’s orders anyway, snuggling under the duvet and burying his face in the pillow.
After turning off the remaining lights, Yesung couldn’t help himself but reach out and comb Hyukjae’s hair carefully out of his eyes, before brushing against the younger’s cheek for a second.
Hyukjae flinched at the touch, Yesung’s hand was ice cold and the dongsaeng blinked himself awake again.
“Hyung. You’re cold. Please, let’s just share the thicker blanket, you’ll freeze with this thin one over night!”, his eyes glued to Yesung’s face, Hyukjae made sure that despite the darkness the older one could clearly see his puppy dog eyes.
Yesung shifted with slight uneasiness, but then he nodded. “Okay, yeah, it’d be nice if we could share.”.
Hyukjae frowned, what was up with his hyung tonight? Why was he getting so shy every time they talked about their sleeping arrangements? Somehow the strange behavior of Yesung made Hyukjae forget about his own worries of sleeping next to his hyung.
Without further ado, Hyukjae grabbed the covers, lifted them up and gestured for Yesung to climb underneath them as well and the older one complied right away, though not without mumbling “I could also grab a hoodie.”, but Hyukjae just ignored him.
When they were both seated comfortably under the warm blanket, Hyukjae suddenly realized how close they were to each other. He was sure Yesung could feel the heat radiating from his body and Hyukjae swallowed around the lump in his throat that had appeared with his discovery of their proximity.
Hyukjae cleared his throat. “Better?”.
“Yeah…”, Yesung nodded, his blonde hair spread over the pillow beneath him.
“Good.”, Hyukjae smiled and when he felt the butterflies erupt in his stomach at the sight of Yesung smiling back at him in the dark, body so close and eyes so deep, the dongsaeng whispered a hasty “Goodnight.”, before turning around and facing the room instead of Yesung.
It took Yesung ages to calm his racing heart and to finally relax his strained muscles. He was lying on his back, facing the ceiling and he was painfully aware of Hyukjae’s body being so close to his side, feeling the other’s warmth under the covers even though they weren’t touching.
He was still a little cold and was pondering for half an hour by now if he should get up and pick up a hoodie to finally stop freezing and maybe be able to eventually drift off to sleep. But he didn’t fool himself, he would probably still be unable to fall asleep even if he did reduce the cold, simply because Hyukjae dreaming so close beside him made his heart beat heavily in his chest and sent his thoughts racing through his mind.
Yesung wasn’t able to pinpoint the exact moment he realized his adoration for Hyukjae differed crucially from the one he cherished for his other dongsaengs, but it had been a while since he noticed something about his feelings changed. After Hyukjae had returned from military service, the affection Yesung felt for his dongsaeng had increased to an extent that he couldn’t ignore it any longer and even though he covered up his despair quite well, when they had been chosen as couple for Living Together, he had absolutely feared the day of shooting this episode.
However, it had turned out to be a rather joyful time. Hyukjae and him had been so comfortable with each other and a small smile crept onto Yesung’s lips as he let parts of the day pass again in front his inner eye.
A shudder drew him out of his thoughts and he fumbled for the thick duvet to pull it higher up and to cover his freezing form. Yet, as he reached for the blanket, he suddenly noticed that it wasn’t coating his body at all. Indeed, only from his knees downwards the thicker cover was keeping him warm, the rest of his figure was only protected by the thin blanket from the couch.
Yesung scoffed. This was typical. Hyukjae offering him the thicker duvet and acting oh so caring, just to eventually keep the warming sheets all to himself. Yesung’s scolding gaze wandered over the bed towards the peacefully dreaming young man.
“Just you wait.”, Yesung muttered threateningly under his breath and slowly he moved onto his side, leaning over his sleeping dongsaeng. He grabbed the covers on the side of Hyukjae that was further away and in one swift motion he dragged the covers away from his dongsaeng. Yesung turned around with the blanket, snuggling into it while lowly chuckling, being satisfied with himself and his successful mission.
Hyukjae woke up immediately as a strong tug made him slightly jolt on his spot and the warmth of the sheets suddenly disappeared. For a moment he didn’t react at all, just stared into the dark until his body began to shiver from being exposed to the cold air in the room.
“Yesung?”, he croaked out. “Did you just steal the blanket from me?”, he really wasn’t sure if he imagined it or if the cover just vanished because Yesung was moving around in his sleep. His hyung didn’t respond though and as his mind slowly shook off the haziness of sleep and as the cold crept into his bones, he realized Yesung did indeed rob him of the duvet. Hyukjae huffed.
“What the hell?”. This ungrateful hyung. Hyukjae had insisted on sharing the covers, had convinced Yesung to come to bed as well, instead of staying on the uncomfortable couch and that was the gratitude?
Hyukjae flopped onto his back with another annoyed huff, his arms crossed over his torso. He glanced over at Yesung, only to be met by the other one’s back, his figure thoroughly wrapped inside the thick blanket.
But Hyukjae wouldn’t be Hyukjae if he did not come back at his hyung with an at least equal sassy act.
He smirked devilish and with a completely exaggerated attack, he threw himself onto his hyung, ripped away the covers, practically flew around on the bed to drape the blanket around his torso and legs and making it therefore impossible for Yesung to just tear the sheets away from him again.
“Hyukjae!”, Yesung yelled out darkly, the force of his dongsaeng’s tackle turning him onto his back once more. The freezing cold instantly sought Yesung out and he started shivering right away.
Yet, Hyukjae just smiled to himself, eyes closed and feeling pleased with himself, he listened to Yesung growling under his breath and waited for a revenge to happen. However, his hyung didn’t move or display any new intentions of fighting Hyukjae for the sheets. Hyukjae could barely suppress a chuckle at his obviously sulking hyung and he began scooting backwards until he was pressed against Yesung’s side. Though he didn’t stop there, on the contrary, Hyukjae started pushing against his hyung, shoving Yesung further and further to his side of the bed.
Yesung was resting on the mattress with folded arms and pretended to be affronted while letting Hyukjae bring him slowly but surely to the edge of the bed until all of a sudden, Yesung realized how he was losing his balance. Without having the chance to grab more than the blanket, which was still wrapped around Hyukjae, he crashed onto the floor. A helpless yelp escaping his mouth while he was pulling the sheets and almost Hyukjae along as well.
“Ouch.”, Yesung exclaimed from the ground. Half of the blanket draped around him, he looked accusingly up at Hyukjae, whose head had popped over the edge of the bed to glance down at his hyung.
“Hyung? What are you doing?”, the younger man asked, a full innocent frown on his face.
“What am I doing? You shoved me!”, Yesung’s voice had gotten louder and he points his forefinger angrily at his dongsaeng.
“I just wanted to get a piece of the warmer blanket you oh so kindly offered to me earlier, only to keep it all to yourself anyway, you brat!”, Yesung scolded the younger one.
Hyukjae’s eyes widened a little. “What do you mean? You stole the covers from me!”, he defended himself, pushing his lower lip forward into a pout.
“I did, because you didn’t share it in the first place!”, Yesung retorted, changing into a sulking mood as well.
“But I didn’t do it on purpose! You could have just woken me up and asked for me to give the blanket back.”, Hyukjae was full on pouting by now and Yesung sighed.
“Fine. Maybe I could have just asked.”, the older one gave in and Hyukjae’s expression instantly turned into a victorious grin.
Yesung huffed when he spotted it. “Could you at least help me up now? It’s cold on the floor.”, he snarled at his dongsaeng and the younger one stretched out a hand, triumphant smile still in place.
“Come here, old man, I help you up.”, Hyukjae said patronizingly. He didn’t catch what Yesung was muttering under his breath as a reply, but the older one let himself be pulled up by Hyukjae anyhow.
When Yesung was safely seated in bed again, thick blanket spread over his and Hyukjae’s figure and both lying on their backs, Hyukjae murmured a “Goodnight.” once more and let his eyes fall shut.
Though, only for a second because in the next moment a pillow hit him straight in the face.
“HEY!”, Hyukjae shouted, sitting up, pillow falling onto his lap and he turned his scandalized expression against Yesung.
“What the hell was that for now??”, he demanded briskly and Yesung just laughed at him.
“That’s for the ‘old man’- comment from before, dongba!”, Yesung’s smile was gloating.
Hyukjae looked at him, gaze reproachful. “Completely exaggerated reaction!”, he stated miffed, while positioning himself on his knees.
Yesung was just about to speak up as Hyukjae grabbed the pillow, lifted it from his lap and threw it at Yesung in an act of revenge.
“YAH!”, Yesung’s muffled yell was hearable under the cushion and Hyukjae started giggling like a teenage boy.
“Didn’t expect that, huh?”, he said mockingly and while he was still sneering, Yesung sat himself up as well, pillow in hand, ready to let it fly again.
Hyukjae’s eyes widened for a split second, but he reacted fast and reached for his own cushion, meeting Yesung’s next attack midway in the air.
“You can give up right away! You’ll never defeat me in a pillow fight, old man.”, Hyukjae teased his hyung and flung his pillow and himself at Yesung in a swift motion.
Yesung sitting upright, but not like Hyukjae on his knees, tumbled backwards from the sudden weight of his dongsaeng collapsing on top of him.
“Oof..”, Yesung let out as the air got knocked out of him. “Are you crazy? Get off of me, you’re heavy!”, the singer exclaimed with shallow breathing.
“I am not heavy!”, Hyukjae declared, moving the pillow a bit to the side, so he could peer into Yesung’s eyes.
“You are, if you let yourself drop down on me like that!”, Yesung replied, his eyes finding the one’s of Hyukjae.
Hyukjae swallowed, there faces were only inches apart and he could feel Yesung’s chest rising in a strained motion below himself. His eyes were glued to the eyes of his hyung and Hyukjae knew, he knew he should say something, anything, to not stretch out the silence between them. To not let the playful ambience switch into a different one, into a tense, loaded atmosphere.
But he couldn’t. He stayed in his position, lying on top of Yesung, staring into the eyes of the older one until Yesung cleared his throat carefully.
“Hyuk-ah..”, but the singer wasn’t able to continue speaking because suddenly Hyukjae found back to his senses and abruptly tried to get off of Yesung.
His movements hasty, he attempted to lift his body off his hyung, but failed spectacularly as his legs got tangled in the sheets and he just crashed down onto Yesung again, kneeing Yesung in the thigh and causing his head to bump against Yesung’s chin.
“Owww!”, Yesung cried out in pain.
“I’m- I’m sorry.”, Hyukjae stammered, blushing furiously and feeling like the most stupid person on earth. He made another effort, this time to roll himself off his hyung and onto the other side of the bed, but Yesung’s hands grabbed him by his upper arms.
“Don’t move.”, the older one growled warningly and Hyukjae froze on the spot.
Yesung’s intense gaze bored itself into Hyukjae’s eyes. “What exactly were you trying to do there?”.
“I- I just wanted to get off of you…”, Hyukjae replied, his voice suddenly faint and wary.
“By giving me hundreds of bruises?”, Yesung asked with narrowed eyes.
“N- no, of course not.”, Hyukjae’s voice was straight out timid now and he felt the need to shift in uneasiness on top of Yesung, his knee colliding with Yesung’s crotch accidentally and the older one sharply pulled in air between his teeth.
“Oh god, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”, every color left Hyukjae’s face and pale with shock he stared at his hyung, who’s gaze had gotten darker.
“That’s it.”, Yesung stated and without further ado, he pushed Hyukjae by his arms onto the other side of the bed, their legs getting even more tangled in the two blankets and the singer was now hovering over his dongsaeng.
Yesung’s blond hair fell over his face, his naked arms propped up on both sides of Hyukjae’s head and the necklace he was wearing dangled over the white tank top. Hyukjae went rigid and gaped at his hyung above him, at those deep and dark eyes which sparkled in between the light strands of hair.
Yesung held the gaze of his dongsaeng and for a moment he pondered what Hyukjae might be thinking right now, but then he felt the younger man shift below him and the eyes of the rapper started to jump between Yesung’s eyes and lips and the older one noticed the change in atmosphere immediately. He registered the confusion, the denial and the longing in the his dongsaeng’s gaze.
Later, Yesung wasn’t sure what had given him the courage, but then and there he slowly lowered his head, not fully diving in, but just enough so that his wisps of hair tickled over Hyukjae’s forehead and that their noses almost brushed against each other.
He could feel how Hyukjae sucked in air and held his breath as he came so close to his dongsaeng’s face.
“Hyukjae-ah.”, Yesung whispered and warm air puffed against Hyukjae’s mouth. Though, the younger one was unable to react in any form, just his eyes were blinking rapidly and Hyukjae wasn’t sure, but the beating of his heart could just be strong enough for one to see on the outside.
Yesung moved even closer and when he spoke the next time, his nose was actually brushing against Hyukjae’s.
“Please stop me, if I’m misreading this completely.”, Yesung breathed out before closing the gap slowly, pressing his lips in a soft and careful manner onto Hyukjae’s. A kiss so light and chaste that Hyukjae almost didn’t realize it was happening, but his lips started tingling at the touch and his eyes stared up at Yesung in absolute shock while the one’s of the singer closed themselves.
Yesung pulled back when he noticed that his dongsaeng didn’t respond to the kiss and opened his eyes again. Resignation and bitter understanding mirrored in his gaze. The look in the other’s eyes awoke Hyukjae from his paralysis and as Yesung was already about to move away from his hovering position, Hyukjae reached out for Yesung’s neck, resting his hand at the back of his hyung’s head and adding a light pressure to get Yesung to come closer again.
“Do it again.”, Hyukjae whispered and for a second disbelief flashed through Yesung’s eyes, but then he let Hyukjae lead him closer to the younger’s face again and this time they both let their eyes fall shut as their lips met in a second gentle kiss.
Hyukjae lost himself in the feeling of Yesung’s lips against his, how his own lips gave way under the pressure of the one’s from his hyung. How their lower lips glided against each other, causing a shudder running down his body and making his legs shift restlessly.
When the singer slowly slid his tongue over Hyukjae’s bottom lip the younger whimpered and opened his mouth hesitantly, the contact of their tongues causing Hyukjae to feel dizzy. He wanted to hold on to Yesung’s upper arm, to steady himself, but as he reached out, his hand was shaking so much that it was impossible for him to really grab the older one’s arm.
Yesung seemed to sense that something was up and he detached his lips from his dongsaeng’s, his eyes looking questioningly at the man beneath him.
Hyukjae let out a shaky breath. “I’m nervous.”, he stated without further explanation and Yesung couldn’t help the tiny smile sneaking its way onto his lips.
“It’s alright. I’m too.”, he smiled reassuringly.
Yesung rolled himself off of Hyukjae, lying down beside him. “We should try to get some sleep anyway, tomorrow will be a long day as well.”.
Hyukjae nodded and they entangled the sheets to both slip underneath them. For a few seconds silence filled the room before Hyukjae soundly cleared his throat.
“Hyung?”.
“Yes?”.
“Can I.. can you.. oh for fuck’s sake.”, Hyukjae groaned, annoyed at his own stammering.
Yesung laughed low and heartily. “Do you want to come closer?”, he then asked sweetly and Hyukjae couldn’t help but blush a little.
Without replying anything, the younger one scooted over and Yesung turned him around, so that Hyukjae’s back was pressed against Yesung’s chest and additionally Yesung looped one arm around his dongsaeng’s middle, pulling him even closer and burying his face in the younger one’s neck, smelling his scent.
Hyukjae closed his eyes, his breathing began to even out and his body started to relax in Yesung’s hold.
“So…”, his hyung whispered from behind. “I can make you nervous, huh?”.
Hyukjae groaned. “Shut up, hyung.”.
Yesung’s low laugh filled his ears one more time and prickled over his skin.
“Goodnight Hyuk-ah. Sleep well.”, and a soft kiss was planted on the spot between his neck and shoulder.
Hyukjae sighed, snuggled deeper into Yesung’s embrace and waited for sleep to come and pick him up.