Work Text:
Tears on her face she woke up trying to not bother Henry who is sleeping peacefully next to her. Another nightmare has spoild her night. Therefore she goes outisde to breath the fresh air of the night.
This is only when she went outside of the castle away from the sight of anyone that could see her that she finally allowed herself to cried. She had all her life prevent others to saw her in misery this day will not come now not after everything she went throught. What is wrong with her she thought ? Doesnt she have all she had wanted in her life ? freedom , someone that love her and her happy ending ? She is also leaving in unfair luxuary life. What does she keep thinking about the wrong memories ?
This is not that easy. Everything that she had except, all her dreams and hopes since she was small are nothing compare to what she endure each days. the nighmares are there along with the flashback. she felt alone and at the same time cannot be able to trust others.
When she look at herlself in the mirror , Henry told her that she is the most beautiful and strong woman he had ever see in his whole life. all she see is a maid. He told her she deserve the world she think the contrary. its like her self esteem has been broke by the glass of her own glass slipper but she did not realized it. Then they are moment when he wants them to share time with her in the royal living room. she is trying to go at this place but the fireplace bring her bad memories. but how can she told him he is gonna find her ridiculous !
Sometimes when the ballroom is full of people lauging and talking she is there physically but not specially in the present feeling a strong sense of sadness in her. That's when she began to hates herself ! yes she hates herself so much ! everything is fine , everything is alright and Henry is happy. They are happy ! she knows it she is sure of it ! but she is sad...melancolic , she hates the expression on henry face when with a soft worried tone he told her " are you alright my love ?" she saw his worried eyebrow way too much in a week. its break her heart to see him with this expression on his face. he doesnt deserve it.
she feel so guilty. guilty of all the worries she put henry throught. Perhaps he would have be better with another woman ? A princess ? Sometimes she feel a lot , sometimes she feel nothing. as if she far away from her own emotions or her own body. Others days she just feelt dizzy and extremely sad. When she is doing something and Henry comes when she didnt see him she jumped and this is after seing his face that she realized that he only mean to give her a gently touch or a gently kiss. At home it was not like that no one was so soft with her. one day she explained it to Henry and with this very comforting smile he reply " but you home is there now with me and my father my love". that's in that moment that she reconnected with the present because Henry , her adorable most kind husband that she love very much has always the right words at the right moments.
When she is alone in her bedroom she is scared when he leave. Is someone gonna lock me in there ? all of these in mind she allow herself to cry but only small tears. she hates tears. she always hate them and makes herself a promise to prevent them. the only day she cried was when her step sister...or more her step mother made her step sister torn her mother dress. the wind in her hair apeasing her , she looked at the sky and see the beautiful stars , for one moment since month she feel relaxed. its like she can sense the presence of her own mother and her father. When suddenly she noticed a visitor.
He is satting on the fresh green garden of the night , depressed and lonely just like her. Now that she remind herself some guest did stay in the castle to pass the night. So she began to chat with him maybe she can be useful ? its look like he need to talk. just like her she think. She go to talk to him at the beginning the visitor did not talk that much and was the whole contrary of friendly but after he open his heart a little more that's when she find out that not only the visitor is more friendly that what he seems to be but :
just like her his family has break his heart.
just like her his family has always leave him the scraps of family meals.
just like her his family has always putting him down.
just like her he has all his life be bossed around.
just like her , this is same sex family member that had opressed him during his whole life his brothers and father.
just like her step mother, his father has fail to his duties.
he cannot count the number of times object where thrown at his face or he was used as a object of mockery. silly pranks played by his brothers and bullying visciously caused by his too much severals brothers. only one brother was nice to him. he was not enslaved but his fathers makes special rules for him. such like needed to achieve more task that his brothers to satisfied him or asking him to take cares of his dozens of niece and nephew when they have maid to do it.
The visitor know exactly her pain as being reject by people who they genuinly cares. the stab it is to have never receive love or affection from them but only intimidation and sarcasm. he knows how it felt to have the feeling to mean nothing to be as good as something you throw away without any values. just like her he want all of this to be a secret. only a secret he had make her promised and she had understand it. pity is the last thing he want.
Behind his mask He is desperate like her. she see by the scars on his wrists than his gloves cant hide that they had different way to cope about their environment. He talk about his nightmare how he sleep with keys with him fearing his brothers may locked him as they had play stupid prank to locked him into places several times before. one time they had told him a surprise birtday present was in a room in the catacombs he was still small and has pass his 9th birthday alone locked in catacomb this is at the end of the day that his panicked mother and nice brother find him.
She told him be kind and have courage to appease him but the visitor do not agree with her . Have courage and be kind is something that only exist in fairy tale according to him. the more he talk about the dynamic in his family the more she relate and the more she understand. The rottten apple just like her has only be one and only one. When he said how much he hates his brothers and how much he wish to win his father love back that he had never got since being a small boy. she get it even better.
The strength she find to forgive Anastasia she wish the visitor were having it too to forgive his brothers. She is sad when the visitor told her he regret some of his horrid past actions she had hear about. She is sad because the visitor wants to redeem himself so much but to the wrong person. The one that has always putting him down and mistreat him : his father and not the person he wrong with his errors of the past. She wants to shake him . She wants to told him to stop being so stubborn and she is so frustrated how can someone manipulative can be at same time so manipulated ? How can he not see what she had always see. That him and his brothers are the same victims of a terrible tyranical narcissict sick person just like it was for her and her step sisters. With a weak and sad smile she come to the distrubing realization : but how can the visitor see what she see when his past actions are suppose to show him that he is a guilty criminal and his father a victim of his bratty last son. She sight a part of her angry has he not do what he do wanted to much to prove himself to his family everything would not be so complicated and he will see the truth. he will see that he has nothing to prove them because they are wrong about him and had always be wrong about him. he could have escape them just like her by the weeding his kind brother was planning for him.
She looked at him in his big sad green eyes and noticed that he is just like her lost like a broken soul who at her difference still leaving with the person that makes his life hell. its like his eyes are a reflection of her owns that she see each morning on the mirror. she had hear about him being a mirror reflecting people emotions and now everything makes sense. he had feel so much that he can sense everything around him. maybe his heart is the whole opposite of being frozen but condemn to all the time feel too much the emotions surrond around him reflecting them as if they went directly trought his heart ? He had not finished bitter and angry at himself he still had thousand and thousand story to tell. she maked herself a promise she was going to help him !
She finally sobbed when he talk about everything that she felt. on the inside and on the outside. She was not strange she was not alone ! There was someone out there who was feeling what she was feeling she just didn't knew it would be someone who she had always see as the whole opposed of herself. Prince Hans westergaard of the southern isles last son of the king of the southern isles who attempt regicide against arendelle crown 2 years before.
the two broken souls of the royal garden who were at the same time very different but similar , for they enjoyed very much the compagny of each others decided to stay until the sunrise. and for the first since a long time they enjoy with each others a perfect night.