Archive of Our Own ^beta

There was another one today. Taeyong reached into his locker and picked up the small, carefully folded note lying atop his neatly stacked books. His cheeks felt warm already. Every day that week these notes had been appearing in his locker. When he got the first one, which simply said, You have beautiful eyes , he’d thought it had been some sort of mistake. Maybe it had been left in one of the books he’d borrowed from the library, and fallen out somehow. But there was another note the next day ( You don’t smile a lot in school but when you do it’s the prettiest smile in the room ), and the next ( Your laugh makes me happy ). Taeyong had to admit it probably wasn’t an accident. But he couldn’t imagine what else it was instead.

He leaned close into his locker and unfolded the newest slip of paper. The scar near your eye reminds me of a rose. It’s perfect. Taeyong swallowed, his cheeks burning. He touched his scar absently. He had never liked it. When he’d been younger he’d been embarrassed of it, hated when kids would stare at it or ask him about it—there wasn’t even a cool story behind it. Now he’d mostly grown out of that, but he certainly didn’t think it looked nice. It was a scar, a flaw, and maybe he’d learned to accept it, but that was all. It’s perfect. Taeyong shoved the note into his pocket and closed his locker sharply, shaking his head to clear it as he hurried to his next class.

All through math class, Taeyong was more out of it than usual. Math wasn’t his favorite subject in the best of times, and he tended to space out easily, but today was even worse and the teacher had to call his name more than once to try to get him to pay attention. But Taeyong couldn’t stop thinking about the notes. He hadn’t worried about them terribly before today. He wasn’t very preoccupied with things like who thought he was cute. According to his best friend Doyoung, there were girls who would linger at their class just to look at him. Taeyong had never really believed that was true, but when the notes started, he wondered if maybe Doyoung had been right and one of those girls had decided to make a move, albeit a very mysterious one.

But today’s note had startled Taeyong more than the other ones. The other ones were sweet, but he realized that up until today part of him had still been thinking they’d been intended for someone else. Today’s note was personal. It couldn’t have been for anyone else, and it made Taeyong start to seriously wonder who could be sending them. He tried to look around the room, wondering if the note-writer was there with him, watching. But everyone else seemed focused on their work. He frowned and tried to focus on his own. 

..….

“Wanna walk home together?” Doyoung asked as they left their last class of the day.

“Can’t, I joined that Public Speaking elective, remember? It’s starting this afternoon.”

“Oh right, I forgot about that. Why’d you join that anyway? Isn’t that full of all the kids aspiring to be like, politicians and stuff?” Taeyong shrugged. He hadn’t thought about that, he just needed another extracurricular and it seemed like something worth being good at. “It’s run by Jung Jaehyun, right?” Doyoung asked. Taeyong nodded. “Yeah, I’m telling you, this is some 'future leaders of the world' type of thing, Yong. I’ve never seen a student body president take his job as seriously as Jung does.”

Taeyong laughed. “Well, guess he’ll be good at leading this club then, won’t he?”

“Sure, although you might die of boredom. You should have just joined the debate team with me. Then you get good at speaking and you get to argue with people!”

Taeyong just shot him an amused look as they peeled away from each other with a wave, Doyoung heading away through the front doors, and Taeyong turning back to find the club’s classroom.

Only a few kids were there when Taeyong arrived. He found a desk and sat down, fidgeting a little, saying awkward hellos to the other kids there. He knew them but wasn’t friends with any of them. Students continued to trickle in in ones and twos, and then Jaehyun entered, carrying a stack of books and a laptop. Taeyong watched him smile and say hi to everyone as he started setting up in the front of the room. Now that Taeyong considered it, Jaehyun really did seem like a politician, extremely friendly and warm to everyone, but a little hard to read. He was handsome enough to be a politician too, Taeyong thought, watching as he bent over the laptop, his hair swaying over his forehead and into his eyes. They’d been in the same class in their first year of high school, but Taeyong didn’t remember him looking the way he did now.

Finally, Jaehyun stopped typing and looked up, beaming at the dozen or so students in front of him. He had a dimpled smile that flashed easily across his face, like he was used to showing it to people and he was used to people smiling back. Taeyong caught himself from smiling back himself and realized Jaehyun had started speaking. “…is really useful actually, whether you end up giving speeches in front of enormous crowds or not. But there’s a lot more to it than just being brave enough in front of an audience…..”

The fall sunlight slanted through the windows, and the school fell under the hush that it always seemed to have after the day ended, no matter how many sports teams were practicing or clubs were meeting. Taeyong listened to Jaehyun’s smooth voice and wasn’t bored at all. 

...…

“Hi, I’m home!” Jaehyun called, taking the stairs two at a time and yanking off his school tie as he went. His bedroom door was closed before his mom even had a chance to say hi back. He dropped his backpack on his chair, and face planted across his bed, digging his fingers into the blankets. He tried to replay everything he’d said in the Public Speaking club meeting back to himself. He’d been replaying it the whole bus ride home. He didn’t think he’d embarrassed himself but some parts were a blur. Mostly the parts where he’d made the mistake of looking at Taeyong.

Jaehyun groaned, the sound muffled into his mattress. As the leader of the club, and the kid who’d thought of starting one for public speaking in the first place, he was used to facing an audience, making everyone feel like he was speaking straight to them, all the usual tricks. But every time his eyes flicked over to Taeyong, he was afraid his brain would short circuit. He was just so beautiful. He could still remember the first time he’d seen him, walking into class on the first day of high school, taking the desk right next to Jaehyun and giving him a small but perfect smile. Jaehyun hadn’t even managed to say hello. He supposed it was for the best they hadn’t been in the same class again after that year, because his grades certainly would have suffered.

Jaehyun realized he was starting to smother himself and turned his face to the side so he could breathe. His eyes fell on a small notebook lying on his desk. His cheeks warmed. He hesitated, then rolled out of bed and grabbed the notebook and a pen, and began to write. Your voice is smooth and warm, it’s as beautiful as the rest of you. He stared at the note in front of him. Every time he wrote one he couldn’t quite believe himself. 

He’d written the first one a week ago, just scribbled it one day in the cafeteria when he’d been watching Taeyong eat a few tables away and noticed his eyes, how big and dark they were, how they closed tight when he laughed hard. He’d left for class early after that, while the halls were still empty, and when he walked past Taeyong’s locker he didn’t really think before slipping the note inside. He just wanted Taeyong to know, somehow, how lovely his eyes were. He hadn’t meant to write any more notes. But he had, every day since, and every time, he told himself he was just doing it to make Taeyong happier, to make sure he knew he was perfect. If there was a part of him that wanted Taeyong to find out who wrote the notes—if there was a part of him that wanted Taeyong, period—he tried to ignore it.

Jaehyun folded up the note and slipped it into his backpack to bring to school tomorrow. He pressed his cool fingers against his hot cheeks and sighed. 

......

“So, are you now committed to a life of politics?” Doyoung slung his arm around Taeyong’s shoulder. It was early and the hallways were full of kids greeting each other and lingering before they had to go to class.

“You never know,” said Taeyong. “Anyway, it was kind of fun.”

“Really, a club led by Mr. Perfect Jung Jaehyun was fun?”

“Doyoung, you literally strive for perfection in everything you do, stop being bitter.” Doyoung laughed easily. “Anyway, um, what do you know about Jaehyun? I don’t mean the Mr. Perfect part, I mean, in general. Like who’s he friends with?”

They reached Doyoung’s locker and Taeyong leaned back against the cold metal while Doyoung rummaged around for his books. “Isn’t he friends with everyone? The whole school loves Jung, seriously.”

“I guess,” Taeyong frowned. “He is always with people. It’s just, always different people….” He was talking half to himself. “Has he ever dated anyone?”

“Huh?” Doyoung looked up from his locker suddenly. “How would I know that?”

“Isn’t that weird though? All the other popular kids it’s like… everyone knows who they’re friends with and who’s dating who, even if we don’t care about them at all. But I can’t think of who he’s friends with, and I don’t think he ever dated anyone. I feel like people would notice if he did.”

“I mean, you’ve never dated anyone and no one noticed that.”

“No one knows who I am, Doie, of course they didn’t notice. And I’m gay, I’ve accepted that high school is not going to be the peak of my dating life.”

“Hopefully, because if this is as good as it gets for you, wow....” said Doyoung.

“Your faith in me is inspiring.” Taeyong rolled his eyes. “Actually, that reminds me. Someone’s been writing me notes.”

“Notes?” Doyoung closed his locker and they started walking again, slowly amidst the crowds of students. They still had time before the bell.

“Yeah, like, love notes or something. They keep showing up in my locker.”

Doyoung grinned. “I told you girls are always checking you out. I knew it.”

“Yes, you’re always right, I know. Anyway, that’s why I never really thought about it at first. I didn’t want to pursue it just to let whoever she is down. But now… they’re really nice, the notes. I’m getting curious, and I feel like I should at least thank the person, right?” Taeyong didn’t say that the idea of the notes stopping one day without him ever finding out who was writing them made him feel surprisingly sad.

“Does this mean you want to investigate? Oh my god, we should totally investigate.” Doyoung actually clapped his hands. “We should set up surveillance on your locker.”

“We have classes to go to….”

“Well, so does the note-writer, right? So if we watch your locker between classes we should be able to find them. I can’t imagine she's running some high tech operation just to leave notes in your locker, Yong.”

“Yeah… I guess we could try that.” The thought of catching his admirer with Doyoung watching made him feel a little weird already, but he was curious. They entered their class just before the bell and agreed to rush to start spying on Taeyong’s locker during their first break.

And then they rushed there for the next break. And the next. All day they spied on Taeyong’s locker at every opportunity, but they didn’t see anyone drop a note in. And yet, when Taeyong opened his locker at the end of the day, there was another note. Your voice is smooth and warm, it’s as beautiful as the rest of you. Taeyong’s face felt warm, especially when Doyoung, reading over his shoulder said simply, “Wow.” It wasn’t common for Doyoung to be speechless. 

......

Jaehyun arrived early before the next public speaking club meeting, set his things up quickly, and then dropped into the teacher’s chair and stared out at the quiet, empty classroom. His stomach was already fluttering at the thought of Taeyong showing up, at the thought of being in the same room as him again for a whole hour. He groaned and scrubbed his hand over his eyes. He was being completely pathetic.

He had already left a note in Taeyong’s locker earlier that day, when he’d slipped out of his history class for a moment. But he found himself pulling his notebook out of his backpack now, rummaging around for a pen. He stared at the paper for a moment, remembering the way Taeyong had covered his mouth with his hand earlier in the cafeteria, when he’d burst into laughter with his mouth full of food. Jaehyun had just started to write, Your hands ar— , when the classroom door opened. Jaehyun almost dropped the pen in shock, and snapped the notebook closed. For a moment he’d forgotten where he was.

Taeyong stepped into the room and Jaehyun swallowed, frozen for a split second before he shoved the notebook deep into his backpack. His heart was pounding. “H-hey.” He cleared his throat, smiled widely, tried again. “Hey, Taeyong, you’re early.” This time his voice was steady.

Taeyong gave a small smile back and dropped into a desk with a “Hey.” Jaehyun tried to think of something else to say but it was hard since Taeyong had ducked his head to check his phone and without his eyes on him Jaehyun found himself staring at the line of Taeyong’s nose and the curve of his lip, the way his hair fell over his forehead. Taeyong put his phone down and looked up so suddenly Jaehyun didn’t have a chance to look away, and once their eyes met he found he couldn’t quite make himself. There was a flicker of uncertainty across Taeyong’s face, a slight widening of his already wide eyes, but then he blinked and smiled and Jaehyun wasn’t sure he’d seen anything there at all. “So,” Taeyong said cheerfully. “What’s planned for today?”

Oh right. Jaehyun was in charge of this club, and had indeed planned today’s meeting thoroughly that afternoon. If only he could remember what the plan was. “Oh, well, first—“ Thankfully, since Jaehyun’s mind was still struggling to switch from the Taeyong track to the Public Speaking club leader track, the door opened and three more kids piled noisily in, greeting them both enthusiastically. Jaehyun’s brain had a chance to click back into place as he and Taeyong broke eye contact and looked towards the door. He let out his breath and grinned at the other students, slipping back into his role of Jung Jaehyun, Student Body President who got along with everyone. He couldn’t tell if this filled him with relief or disappointment. 

......

By the end of the following week, Taeyong was ready to give up on his short stint as a spy, but Doyoung was sure they were close. They’d been lurking out of sight around the corner from Taeyong’s locker at every break, even through lunch, and one of their teachers had even pulled Doyoung aside to ask if he had something going on that was making him need to use the bathroom so much. But even after days of spying, Taeyong was firmly convinced they hadn’t seen anything suspicious. Doyoung, meanwhile, had compiled a list of prime suspects that he was sure were seen too often around Taeyong’s locker to be a coincidence. “I’m telling you,” Doyoung told Taeyong, for the tenth time, “Hyejin is the one. Her locker is nowhere near here, but she’s around your locker every day! She even leaned on it yesterday! And I heard her say she thinks you're cute.”

“You did not,” said Taeyong. They were walking home from school. It was Friday and Taeyong was desperately looking forward to a break from reconnaissance missions.

“Well, I could have. She probably said it, at some point, since she’s been leaving you love notes.”

“No, she hasn’t been. Her best friend’s locker is literally next to mine, Doyoung, which I keep telling you. They’re inseparable, hence, Hyejin leaning on my locker. Calm down.”

Doyoung sighed. “I just can’t believe we don’t have any leads.”

This, Taeyong agreed with. Despite their complete dead end, the notes had still appeared, every day without fail. Taeyong had started checking his locker compulsively, trying to pinpoint the exact time the notes were left, to see if that could give them a clue. But the notes appeared randomly, sometimes already there in the morning when he arrived, sometimes not there until the end of the day, or they’d show up any time in between. Before Taeyong had thought about finding the note-writer, he hadn’t worried much about the notes. They made him smile, and maybe blush, or feel a little funny, but that was it. Now he thought about them all the time. It was as though since he’d decided to find the writer, he couldn’t go back to his easy enjoyment of the anonymous notes. He really wanted to know who was writing them, but he was sick of playing spy for nothing.

They reached Doyoung’s street and said bye, Doyoung promising to spend the weekend coming up with a better plan. Taeyong sighed but couldn’t help but smile as he waved and headed on towards his own house. He slipped his hand into his pocket, felt the crumpled edges of that day’s note. I know I left a note about your eyes already, but every time you look at me I get lost in them. Taeyong hadn’t shown this note to Doyoung, just told him he found one at lunch so they could stop the day’s surveillance, since they’d once again missed the culprit. Sometimes he didn’t want to share them. He could still remember the way his stomach had dropped when he'd first read this one, thinking to himself, It’s from someone I’ve looked at, someone I know. He still couldn’t think of who it could be. But recently, he’d started feeling a nagging sense of disappointment every time Doyoung would suggest another suspect, always a girl. Taeyong didn’t really expect it to be a boy either, and he tried to remind himself that these were just silly notes that didn’t mean anything. He just wanted to thank the writer, and end this, for both their sakes, before the notes got too personal and embarrassing.

But late at night, he’d started letting himself wonder, what if the notes were from a boy? How would it feel, to have a boy think about him that way? He hadn’t really liked anyone before, not in any serious way. There were plenty of boys who were cute, or nice, or funny, but he didn’t let himself develop even a crush, and it was for the best, as most of these boys sooner or later would be seen walking down the halls hand-in-hand with a girl. But now he started to let himself wish, just a little, that the writer might turn out to be someone he could actually like back.

And for some reason, on some of these nights, just before he’d fall asleep, he would think of Jaehyun, his warm smile and low voice, his perfect posture as he’d stand near the teacher’s desk and talk to the club members, the way he smelled when he passed too close by Taeyong’s desk. And he would wonder, What if?

......

On Monday when Taeyong arrived at school, he was torn between anticipating the next note and already being tired of spending every free moment crouched in the hallway to spy on his locker. He couldn’t think of any other way to catch the note-writer, short of skipping class completely and staking out the locker all day. Maybe he’d just never know who was sending the notes. It wasn’t like finding out would make much of a difference in his life anyway. At least while he still didn't know, he could imagine it to be anybody he wanted sending him sweet words.

Doyoung was running late that day, which almost never happened, and he rushed into class at the last second and slumped into his desk, out of breath. When the teacher turned his back he leaned over and whispered, “Any notes this morning?”

Taeyong shook his head. “Not yet, and listen, I don’t know if we should keep—“ But the teacher turned around at that moment with a sharp look, and at their first break Taeyong found himself hurrying after Doyoung to the usual corner where they ducked out of sight and took turns keeping an eye on the locker.

Of course, nothing happened. “Doyoung, I don’t know if there’s any point still doing this. They’re clearly not coming by during any of our breaks. We can’t keep doing the same thing forever and just expect it to suddenly work.”

“But it could suddenly work, things suddenly work all the time! Everything doesn’t work until it does!” They were rushing to their next class, having stayed in the hallway as long as possible, and Doyoung seemed to think speaking faster would help him move more quickly.

“Stop trying to be wise,” Taeyong laughed. “Seriously, what’s even going to happen if we do find them?”

“You meet your true love and live happily ever after?” Taeyong gave Doyoung a dark look. “Okay, okay, fine, we can stop. The note-writer wins this round. But still, tell me when you find the note today, okay? I swear there’s a way to crack this, Yong, I’ll figure it out.”

Taeyong was pretty sure Doyoung just couldn’t let go of something once he set his mind to it, even something silly, but he nodded and agreed to keep checking his locker as much as he could, to try to pinpoint the time the note arrived.

But there wasn't any note that day. Or the next. Or the day after that.

On the afternoon of the third day without a note, Taeyong had resigned himself to never solving the mystery of the note-writer, and, even worse, never getting another note in his locker. He realized how much he’d started looking forward to them each day. But he supposed it wasn’t that surprising that they’d come to an end. Now he could only wait and wonder if the writer would ever approach him.

Doyoung, however, had other plans. Taeyong was just about to push open the door to leave school and head home when his friend nearly tackled him from behind. “I know what we need to do!” He hissed excitedly.

Taeyong managed to recover his balance without concussing himself against the doors and turned around. “What?”

“To find the writer. I’ve solved it!” Taeyong just stared blankly. Doyoung took a breath. “You haven’t gotten notes this week right? So, what if it’s because the writer hasn’t been here? We just need to see if someone’s been out of school for three days in a row, and mystery solved!”

“Doyoung, seriously, we talked about this, they clearly just gave up, or got tired of leaving the notes, or something. They just stopped. And we’re terrible detectives anyway.”

“Well, maybe, yeah, but we might as well check right? I mean what if someone really has been out this week? And then… then when they come back, we could see if the notes start up again! Maybe you’re right and no one’s been absent these exact days. But… it’s worth a shot isn’t it?”

Taeyong bit his lip. A very small voice had started wondering if maybe this would be the solution. Maybe the case wasn’t totally cold after all. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to get his hopes up. “How can we even find out who’s been absent, anyway?” He asked, because focusing on the logistics seemed simpler than wondering about everything else.

“You forget I worked in the school office last year. There was a lot of making copies, which was below my talents really, but I also helped transfer a ton of school records onto the new online system. The same system they enter attendance on now. The point being, I know my way around the school records. So you’ll just have to distract a teacher or two with your endless charm and we’ll be all set!”

Taeyong didn’t have the same confidence in his charm as Doyoung seemed to, but he could tell by the light in his friend’s eyes that he wouldn’t be letting go of this idea any time soon, so he followed him back down the halls to the school’s main office.

Luckily, miraculously even, when they entered there was only the office assistant at the front desk, and one teacher in the back. The teacher was busy making copies with her back to them, and Doyoung nudged Taeyong to show that he only needed to distract the woman sitting in front of them. “What should I say?” hissed Taeyong through his teeth.  

Doyoung made a complicated series of facial expressions that were entirely unhelpful and started edging towards one of the empty computers. Taeyong sighed and approached the woman at the desk, who looked up as he got close. “Hello, do you need help with something?” She smiled.

Taeyong tried to stand to the side so she had to turn towards him, away from Doyoung. “Um, yes, well, I was wondering if you could… explain to me… about clubs?” Taeyong considered what had come out of his mouth. He supposed clubs were on his mind because Public Speaking was meeting again the next day.

To the woman’s credit, she kept smiling warmly as she asked, “What about clubs, anything specific?”

“Oh, yes, right, uh, how to start them? Yeah, I’m interested in maybe starting a club. My fr—I mean, someone I know started the Public Speaking club? And I’m in it but I think I might want to start my own.” He thought that sounded plausible.

“Okay, sure,” the assistant said. “Well you’ll need to have a teacher advisor, first of all. And then you need to fill out a proposal form. I can grab one for you—“ She started to stand and turn away towards the back of the office. Taeyong could see Doyoung crouched over at one of the computers. The teacher in the back hadn’t moved from the copy machine, but if the assistant took another step she’d see him.

“Uh, wait!” Taeyong blurted out. The assistant turned around, surprised. “I have one! I have a, er, proposal form, already. So, hmm, what comes next, I guess?” If Doyoung didn’t finish soon Taeyong was going to start plotting his murder.

The assistant sat back down uncertainly. “Well, your teacher advisor would go over the proposal with you first, and then they’d have to discuss with the principal and the extracurricular committee, figure out the budget if there's any supplies you need, if students would be interested enough, if there’s space to meet, things like that.”

“Oh, okay.” Doyoung was still at the computer. What was taking him so long? “Are there a lot of people trying to start clubs?” Taeyong was scrambling for questions.

“I don’t know the exact number, but since it’s the start of the school year there are probably a few. Mostly people start clubs around this time. Of course, most clubs are continuing from last year, or have been meeting for years already. Now, didn’t you come in with your friend? Is he starting the club with you? Where is he, anyway?”

“Hello!” Doyoung chirped brightly, appearing suddenly beside Taeyong. Taeyong pressed a hand against his chest to make sure his heart was still beating. He wasn’t cut out for this. “Sounds like we have a lot of work to do on this proposal, don’t we Taeyong? We should go, thank you so much for all your help!” He was speaking very fast, and then he grabbed Taeyong’s wrist and started pulling him out of the office. The assistant raised her eyebrows as they left.

They hurried down the hall, Doyoung’s hand still clamped around Taeyong’s wrist even when Taeyong tried to pull away and slow down. “Doyoung, why are we walking so fast? Did you find anything? Wait!”

“Oh my god, oh my god,” Doyoung was mumbling under his breath excitedly. But he didn’t stop or turn around.

“Where are we going?” Taeyong asked, exasperated and starting to feel nervous.

Finally Doyoung burst through a door into an empty classroom and whirled to face Taeyong, fixing him with an intense stare. He eventually seemed to catch his breath enough to speak. “So, a lot of people were absent this week.” Doyoung raised his eyebrows expectantly.

Taeyong couldn’t keep the annoyance off his face. “Please don’t tell me that’s all you found out.”

“I’m not done,” Doyoung said.

“What do you mean you’re not done? You stopped talking!”

Doyoung ignored Taeyong’s outburst. “There was only one person who was absent all three days.” He paused again.

Taeyong tried not to ask but almost immediately his curiosity won out. “Who? Doyoung, you’re killing me, please just tell me.” Doyoung hesitated and this time it occurred to Taeyong that maybe he actually looked a little nervous himself. “Who is it?”

“It’s… Jung Jaehyun.”

Taeyong stared. 

......

Jaehyun lay on his back and stared vacantly at the ceiling. After three days sick at home, his fever had broken, but he still felt weak and sorry for himself. He’d been sleeping so much that now he couldn’t fall back asleep. He tried to close his eyes and will himself to drift off. He had to go back to school the next day. He thought he felt well enough, but if he stayed awake all night he knew it would be rough. But the next day Public Speaking was meeting again, and he didn’t want to miss his once weekly chance to spend time with Taeyong. Sure, they’d barely really spoken beyond polite hello's and comments about the famous speeches they’d been studying. But it was still so much better than just staring from across the cafeteria.

Jaehyun dragged himself out of bed to get a glass of water. His parents were already asleep and the house was quiet and dim. He could hear the wall clock ticking and the faint whirring of appliances as he entered the kitchen. He filled a glass and then stood there, leaning against the counter, drinking. He felt like he’d barely stood up since he’d gotten sick, and the dark kitchen was somehow comforting.

His thoughts, as they always did, drifted to Taeyong. He remembered their first year of high school. Jaehyun had sat diagonally behind Taeyong and could still picture the exact angle of his ear and the side of his face that he’d been able to see every day. Jaehyun’s family had just moved that summer, so, unlike the other kids, he didn’t know anyone from middle school. He wasn’t sure he really spoke to anyone for that whole first month.

And then one day the teacher announced they’d be doing a project with partners, and after a minute during which the class erupted into high-spirited chaos and Jaehyun sat dreading the moment when the teacher would notice he didn’t have a partner and assign him to work with someone who’d probably hate him, Taeyong had turned around and said, “Hey, wanna work together?”

Jaehyun hadn’t even known Taeyong knew who he was, and in his memory he gaped at Taeyong for a full 5 minutes, although he probably didn't do anything quite that weird, because they did end up working together, and they got a good grade, too. And suddenly Jaehyun was talking to Taeyong every day, having entire conversations with him, laughing at the weird things he did, and sometimes, even better, making him laugh. Jaehyun had thought he’d liked Taeyong just from staring at a sliver of his face all day, but that had been nothing compared to actually getting to talk to him. And now, for the first time, Jaehyun had someone to say hi to in the hallways, who’d ask how he was doing, and even eat lunch with him sometimes.

Jaehyun finished his water and put the glass down on the counter quietly. He wondered if Taeyong even remembered working together. He wondered if Taeyong remembered hanging out with Jaehyun that year at all. They hadn’t stayed close after they stopped being in the same class. Jaehyun had gotten to know a lot of other kids by that point, although he was still a little bewildered sometimes by how that had happened. He wondered now if the reason he’d ended up throwing himself into every extracurricular he could find was because he wanted to force more people to talk to him the way Taeyong had while they’d worked on that project, and he couldn’t think of any other way to do it. Whatever the reason, it had worked, and suddenly he was saying hi to everyone, and he was always surrounded by people at lunch. He supposed Taeyong probably just didn’t know that when Jaehyun said hi to him, he didn't mean it the same way he did when he said hi to everyone else.

Jaehyun sighed and shuffled slowly back to his room, lying down again. He felt more tired now, even from that small exertion of energy. He glanced over at the bedside table, at the neatly folded notes lying there. One for every day he’d been out, and one for the next day when he’d go back to school. He wondered, not for the first time, if he was just being silly, writing these notes without any hope of Taeyong ever knowing who they were from. And even if Taeyong did find out, as much as Jaehyun imagined that happening, as much as his heart beat faster at the thought, he knew in real life it would just be mortifying and make things awkward. He groaned and stared back at the ceiling. Maybe he should stop with the notes. He'd just give these last few, and then he’d pull himself together and stop. 

......

Taeyong stared into his locker. It was lunchtime and the hallway was full of noise, but he barely registered it. The notes were back. And not just one note, but four. Were these really from Jaehyun? Had he really been the one writing these words the whole time? And had he really left all these notes today, to make up for the days he’d missed? Taeyong leaned his forehead against the edge of his locker, trying to clear his head. The back of his neck was hot as he reached for the notes and unfolded them one by one. Your skin is like honey. The way your nose scrunches when you laugh is adorable. Your hair looks so soft and shiny. And the last one, Just looking at you makes me feel better.

When Taeyong made it to the cafeteria, he scanned the room quickly for Jaehyun, but didn’t see him. Maybe he was still out, maybe he wasn’t the writer after all. Taeyong’s thoughts felt scattered and he tried to ignore the way this possibility made his heart sink. He hurried over to where Doyoung was sitting and dropped into the seat across from him.

“Hey, do you know if Jaehyun’s in school today?” Taeyong asked before he even was fully seated.

Doyoung looked up in surprise. “Yeah, I saw him earlier, why?” Then his eyes widened and he dropped his voice to a whisper. “Wait, did you get another note?”

“I got… four notes,” Taeyong mumbled. He hoped it wasn’t obvious how much he was blushing.

“Oh my god,” Doyoung hissed excitedly, “He wrote you notes while he was out! That’s so cute, I’m gonna die.”

“Doie…” Taeyong groaned. “Seriously, we don’t even know for sure it was him, calm down.”

“It has to be him, Yong,” Doyoung said seriously. “All the clues point to Jung Jaehyun, evidence doesn’t lie!” Taeyong pressed his hands against his cheeks to try to make them cool off. Doyoung didn’t seem to notice. “You should ask him. I mean it, ask him! If it’s not him, he just won’t have any idea what you’re talking about, so no harm done right? And if it is him….” Doyoung started making kissing noises until Taeyong threw a wad of napkins at him and he burst into laughter. But then the laughter cut off abruptly. “Look,” Doyoung whispered. “He just came in.”

Taeyong turned around and saw Jaehyun walking towards the food counter, talking to a few kids as he always was. He ran his hand through his hair but it felt back into his eyes right away. Even from a few tables away, Taeyong could see the dimples creasing his cheeks as he grinned at something the boy next to him had said. He really was handsome. Just looking at you makes me feel better. Taeyong could feel his heart doing weird things in his chest.

When he made himself turn away, Doyoung was looking at him closely. “You want it to be him, don't you?” Taeyong couldn’t bring himself to say anything. It was too hard not to worry that their extremely amateur investigation had just led them in the completely wrong direction. He didn’t want to get his hopes up for nothing. Doyoung didn’t seem to need Taeyong to answer to know what he was thinking, though. “Yong, don’t worry, just ask him about it, seriously. I’m not even teasing, but if it was him writing the notes, that means he clearly likes you. A lot. So talk to him and make sure.”

Taeyong managed to nod. He’d see Jaehyun later at Public Speaking, he figured he’d be able to ask him about it afterwards. If he managed to survive the hour-long club meeting first, of course. 

......

By the time the school day ended, Jaehyun had a headache pulsing steadily behind his eyes. When he’d woken up that morning he’d felt fine, better than he had in days, and ready to go back to school. But now all he wanted was to go home and sleep for the rest of the week. Or, that would have been all he wanted if it wouldn’t mean missing Public Speaking and the chance to talk to Taeyong again. That was worth enduring the headache for another hour. Jaehyun hoped he didn’t look as tired as he felt as he entered the classroom.

Everyone else was already there, but his eyes, as they always did, went straight to Taeyong. Oddly, Taeyong’s own eyes widened and he looked away quickly. If Jaehyun’s head had been clearer, maybe he would have wondered more about it, but as it was, he just gave his best smile to the rest of the group and started setting up his things at the front of the room.

The only way Jaehyun managed to survive the hour was by making the rest of them do all the talking, which was at least easy to disguise as helpful practice given the nature of the club. He sat in his chair and tried to focus, but his thoughts were getting hazier. He’d taken medicine during his last class but it didn’t seem to have helped much. He found himself thinking more and more about curling up in bed and less and less about the kids around him. Well, less and less about most of the kids around him. He was doing a worse job than ever keeping his mind off Taeyong. He found himself staring at the other boy more than once, and it wasn’t the usual quick glances he allowed himself, no, he was openly staring, completely forgetting himself and everyone else in the room.

But today, for some reason, Taeyong kept looking back. The first time Taeyong’s eyes darted over to Jaehyun’s, he got so startled he almost knocked his laptop off the teacher’s desk in front of him. He could feel himself blush, but of course he forgot himself again soon enough and his eyes drifted back to Taeyong. It almost felt inevitable at this point, for him to seek out the smooth angles of Taeyong’s face, the slouch of his shoulders over his desk, his long fingers twirling his pen, the veins smoothly tracing over his forearms. The shine on his lower lip after he ran his tongue over it. This was especially distracting, and Jaehyun lost himself again, wondering what it would feel like to touch those lips, wondering what they would taste like. 

When Jaehyun finally remembered himself and looked up, Taeyong was already looking back at him. Jaehyun felt his stomach drop but couldn’t quite make himself look away. He wondered how long Taeyong had been watching him, if he’d been able to tell that Jaehyun had been staring right at his mouth, if he thought that was weird. He didn’t look like he thought it was weird. After an endless moment, Jaehyun forced himself to turn away and tried to follow the conversation the other kids were having. He thought he could feel Taeyong’s gaze lingering on him, but when he shot a glance back at the other boy, he was bent over the book in front of him, mouth moving as he quietly recited the speech printed on the page. 

......

Taeyong fiddled with the zipper on his backpack to make it look like he was still packing up his things as the other kids filed out of the classroom. Jaehyun was still behind the teacher’s desk where he always sat, and Taeyong kept his head down. Jaehyun had looked tired during the whole meeting, but Taeyong tried to ignore the voice telling him that maybe today, right after Jaehyun returned to school, wasn’t the best day to confront him about the notes. If he didn’t do it today, he wasn’t sure he ever would.

The last two girls finally left, and when Taeyong glanced up he saw that Jaehyun was hoisting his own bag over one shoulder and turning towards the door. “Jaehyun,” Taeyong called. Jaehyun turned and faced him, his dimpled smile on his face as usual, although his eyes still looked sleepy. “Um, I have a question.”

“Okay?” Jaehyun prompted when Taeyong didn’t keep speaking. “Were you confused about something we talked about today?”

“Someone’s been leaving notes in my locker,” Taeyong said on a rushed exhale.

Jaehyun’s eyes widened. “Oh?” Taeyong tried to read his expression but he couldn’t tell if the look of surprise was because he’d just gotten caught or because he had no idea what Taeyong was talking about.

“Is it… you?” Taeyong could hear how soft his voice sounded, strange and hesitant even to his own ears. He wished he could have sounded more like he didn’t care so much about the answer.

Jaehyun didn’t say anything for a moment, and Taeyong was ready for him to say “No,” or maybe “What?” But then he turned his head to stare at the desk beside him. When he spoke, his voice was even softer than Taeyong’s had been. “Yes.” Taeyong blinked. He hadn’t really thought this far ahead when he’d imagined this conversation. Jaehyun turned back to him and kept speaking, his voice a little clearer. “I’m really sorry if it made you uncomfortable, I know it was… weird to do that. I just…” His voice was trailing off again and Taeyong found himself leaning closer just to hear. “I wanted you to know… how beautiful you are. But I’m sorry. I’ll stop.”

Taeyong just stared for a moment, and was only jolted out of his stunned silence when Jaehyun shifted his bag higher on his shoulder and started to turn away towards the door again. Without thinking about anything except how badly he wanted Jaehyun to stay, Taeyong stepped forward and grabbed his hand. “I liked the notes,” Taeyong said. Jaehyun’s palm was very soft and warm under his fingers. “Really. I… I saved them all. I just didn’t expect it to be a boy writing them. I didn’t expect it to be you.”

Jaehyun glanced down at where their hands were still intertwined. “Is it a problem, that it’s me?”

Taeyong shook his head, even though Jaehyun was still looking down and couldn't see him. He stepped closer without really thinking. His heart was beating so hard he could hear the blood pounding behind his ears. “No. It’s not a problem.”

Jaehyun looked up then and Taeyong thought he shouldn't have stepped quite so close. He could see Jaehyun’s eyes flitting back and forth between each of his own, could see the shadow his lashes made against his cheeks when he blinked, could see the delicate flush that spread over his skin. Taeyong didn’t think he’d ever looked at another person’s face this closely before. His gaze dropped down to Jaehyun’s lips. He didn’t realize he’d been leaning even closer until Jaehyun’s hand suddenly pressed into the center of his chest and Taeyong rocked backwards, startled.

“I’ve been sick…” Jaehyun was mumbling. Taeyong wondered for a moment why Jaehyun was mentioning this random piece of information, and then he realized and felt his cheeks grow warm. Jaehyun’s hand was still against his chest, and Taeyong could feel the heat of it as though it were against his bare skin. He knew Jaehyun would notice how fast his heart was beating.

“Oh, right, sorry.” Taeyong cleared his throat and took a step back, dropping Jaehyun’s hand at the same time as Jaehyun pulled away from his chest. “I don’t know what I was thinking,” he managed to laugh.

“Don’t say sorry,” Jaehyun said, a small smile on his lips. It wasn’t his usual grin, and Taeyong couldn’t help but think that maybe this was a smile Jaehyun didn’t show to just anyone in the hallways. His dimples still showed faintly, and even though his eyes still looked tired Taeyong thought the smile seemed to reach them. “Do you want to walk out together?”

Taeyong nodded and followed awkwardly as Jaehyun headed out of the classroom and down the hall towards the front doors. “How are you feeling, by the way?” Taeyong asked. “I knew you’d been out, I should have asked before.”  

“I’m okay. Kind of tired. And, well, I wasn’t expecting today to go this way.” He smiled again at Taeyong as they walked through the doors and down the steps in the darkening evening, as if to reassure him that he didn’t mind the unexpected turn of events.

Taeyong had to admit he felt the same. Even though he’d been the one planning all day to ask Jaehyun about the notes, he hadn’t really expected to be right. And he definitely hadn’t expected himself to almost try to kiss Jaehyun. He wondered what would have happened if Jaehyun hadn’t been sick. Would he have come up with another reason to push Taeyong away?

As though he could hear Taeyong’s doubts, Jaehyun’s hand suddenly slipped into Taeyong’s, his fingers curling warmly over his knuckles. Taeyong glanced at their hands, and then up at Jaehyun, who was already looking at him, smiling gently like before. They walked like that until the bus stop. “See you tomorrow, Taeyong,” Jaehyun said. Taeyong gave a small wave and continued walking down the street towards his house, feeling the sweat cooling against his palm where their hands had been pressed together a moment before. 

......

Jaehyun didn’t feel fully himself again until Monday, after spending most of the weekend just sleeping and eating. As Jaehyun rode the bus to school on Monday morning, he was excited to see Taeyong again, but he didn’t quite know what to do next. After being found out—which he still couldn’t believe had happened—he hadn’t been able to bring himself to leave Taeyong a note again on Friday. He just felt too exposed. They had also barely run into each other on Friday, passing in the hallway only once, and Jaehyun was starting to doubt everything that had happened in the empty classroom the day before.

Almost as soon as Jaehyun walked into the building on Monday, though, he spotted Taeyong. He was far away down the hall, hurrying somewhere even though classes didn’t start for some time, but Jaehyun’s eyes went to him immediately, recognizing his hair, his walk, his posture. He knew he couldn’t go through another day like Friday. He already had butterflies in his stomach just from seeing him walk down the hall. He wanted to see him up close, to talk to him. He wanted Taeyong to lean towards him again like he had in that classroom, and do whatever he’d been about to do if Jaehyun hadn’t stopped him.

So when lunch came around, Jaehyun got his food, scanned the room carefully, and then before he could hesitate walked straight to Taeyong’s table and sat down next to him. “Hi.” Jaehyun smiled as cheerfully as possible.

Taeyong was sitting with Doyoung, his best friend, as he always did. Doyoung looked a little surprised, and Jaehyun didn’t miss how his eyes went questioningly to Taeyong, but he said “Hi,” back and didn’t seem to mind the additional company. Jaehyun tried not to think about the possibility that Doyoung knew about all the notes, and the even worse possibility that Doyoung had even read them.

“Hi,” Taeyong also replied after a moment. When Jaehyun looked at him his cheeks were very pink. Jaehyun badly wanted to kiss them but he turned away and filled his mouth with food instead. Of course, as soon as he did, Taeyong spoke again. “Are you feeling better?”

“Mhmph,” Jaehyun managed. He swallowed without chewing properly and winced, but hurriedly covered it with a smile. “Yeah, I am, thanks for asking.”

It was quiet for a moment. Jaehyun took another bite of food because he didn’t know what else to do. “I’m gonna, uh, get seconds,” Doyoung said suddenly, standing up with his tray. He hurried off and the silence between them continued for a beat.

Jaehyun looked down at his food. Just say it. “Uh, well, now that I’m better, I mean, I’d really like to kiss you.” He heard a strangled sound and looked up to see Taeyong coughing, his cup of water in his hand. Jaehyun reached out awkwardly to clap him on the back, a little worried, but Taeyong recovered his ability to breathe and turned to stare at Jaehyun.

“Here?”

“What? No, not here. I just mean... in general, I’d like to, sometime, if you want….”

“Oh, right. Okay, yeah. Yes.”

Jaehyun found himself smiling widely, without even trying for once, and he couldn’t quite get it under control when Doyoung came back with another tray of food, glancing back and forth between Jaehyun’s smile and Taeyong’s still pink cheeks. 

......

When Taeyong got to his locker after his last class of the day, Jaehyun was there waiting for him. Taeyong had been held up talking to the teacher, and the halls were already emptying out, so Taeyong could see Jaehyun standing there from all the way down the hall. 

“Hey,” Taeyong said as he approached. “Of course, you know where my locker is.”

Jaehyun straightened up from where he’d been leaning against the lockers. “Seriously, did the notes make you uncomfortable? Please tell me if they did.” 

Taeyong laughed. “No, they really didn’t. They were nice.”

“You know,” Jaehyun said thoughtfully, stepping out of the way as Taeyong opened his locker and started rummaging around inside, “I never asked how you found out it was me. I didn’t tell anyone, so…?”

“Oh.” Taeyong was grateful for the barrier the open locker door made between their faces. “Well, you were absent, and the notes didn’t come, so we—I mean I—kind of…. guessed.” He didn’t think going into the full extent of his and Doyoung’s investigation was a good idea. Especially considering most of it had consisted of hiding for hours in the hallway for nothing, which was just embarrassing at this point. 

Suddenly the locker door swung shut. Taeyong leaned back, surprised. Jaeyun’s hand was still against the closed locker door and he was standing very close. Taeyong realized with a nervous twist in his stomach that, for the moment at least, the hallway was completely empty. “Um, Jaeh—?” 

"I'm glad you figured it out," Jaehyun said, and then he leaned in and kissed him. 

Taeyong’s brain took a moment to catch up with what was happening. He hadn’t been expecting Jaehyun to just go for it in the middle of the hallway like this. But here he was, in the hallway, and Jaehyun, popular, always smiling, slightly mysterious Jaehyun, was kissing him. And kissing him well, like he meant it.

Taeyong’s eyes were still open and he was trying to look out of the corner of his eye to make sure the hallway was still empty. But then Jaehyun’s hands came up to his neck, and next thing he knew he was being pressed back against his locker. His eyes closed. It no longer seemed very important if the hallway was empty or not. It no longer seemed important where they were at all. Taeyong had only kissed someone once before, in middle school during a game of truth or dare, and now he was wondering if that could even be classified as a kiss. It didn’t seem possible that one word could encompass two such different experiences. Jaehyun’s lips were very warm, and then his tongue, when he slipped it into Taeyong’s mouth, was even warmer. Taeyong could feel the metal of the lockers behind him, and in front of him was just Jaehyun, all of Jaehyun, the smooth firmness of his body pressing against his own. His heart was pounding, and he could tell that Jaehyun’s was too, like an echo he could feel instead of hear.

Jaehyun finally pulled back, breathless and flushed, and ran his thumb softly over Taeyong’s lower lip. Taeyong realized he’d fisted his hands in Jaehyun’s shirt so tightly it had come untucked. He let go quickly and tried to smooth his shirt back down, until he realized he was running his hands over Jaehyun’s waist and stopped hurriedly, his cheeks hot. Now that his surroundings seemed to matter again, he was glad the hallway was still empty and quiet. Jaehyun leaned forward again and kissed his cheek, leaving his face close for a moment. Taeyong could hear how fast he was breathing.

Taeyong finally squirmed away a little so he could turn around and open his locker again. He could barely focus on what was inside, but he managed to pull out the last book he needed and shove it into his bag. He felt warm fingers slide over the back of his neck and shivered before he could help himself.

“Your neck is red.” Jaehyun’s voice was so low Taeyong almost shivered again. He could hear that Jaehyun was smiling even without seeing his face.

Taeyong closed his locker and turned back around. “Well, your ears are red.” Jaehyun laughed and Taeyong couldn’t help but smile at the warm, infectious sound. He thought back to the first ever note he’d found in his locker. He would never have guessed things would turn out like this. That he’d be here again weeks later, standing in the exact same spot, being kissed, really kissed, up against the locker where he’d first unfolded a slip of paper and read those words, You have beautiful eyes.

Jaehyun took Taeyong’s hand and they started walking towards the front doors, and then out into the sunny afternoon. “You know,” Taeyong said, “Just because your secret note-writing was discovered doesn’t mean you have to stop writing them.”

“Oh, is that so? What about you? I’ve never gotten a single note.”

“That’s not my thing. You created a brand, you have to stick with it.”

“Hmm,” Jaehyun looked like he was thinking hard. “I don’t know, I was already running out of things to say.” He sighed dramatically but it turned into a laugh when Taeyong let go of his hand and shoved him.

“What do you mean, ‘running out’!?” 

Jaehyun kept laughing, dodging away from Taeyong and running backwards down the street, until Taeyong started chasing him and he turned around to run away in earnest. Taeyong was just catching up to him when he suddenly stopped and turned back. Taeyong couldn’t slow down and slammed into him, hearing Jaehyun make a sound somewhere between a grunt and a laugh as he stumbled backwards. But even as he did, his arms were wrapping around Taeyong in a tight hug. "Wait, I thought of another note," he said. "How about, 'When you run you look like a little gremlin.'" 

"No!" Taeyong struggled but Jaehyun didn't let go. 

"What?" Jaehyun laughed. "I mean it in a good way! Like, a very cute little running gremlin. Or what about this, 'When you eat, you look like a chipmunk.'" He pinched Taeyong's cheek. 

Taeyong narrowed his eyes and grumbled, still stuck in Jaehyun's embrace but finding it hard to even pretend to mind. “Ha ha. You weren’t really running out of things to say, right?”

Jaehyun's smile softened. “You’re right.” He kissed him, even though they were both still out of breath. “I could write you a thousand notes and still have more to say.” He kissed him again. It was a little clumsier this time, since now Taeyong was smiling too, feeling slightly idiotic for how easily he’d melted, but melting all the same.