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In this universe, your soulmate can feel glimpses of your own feelings. You may experience immense joy that brings on the brightest smile to your face and high energy that courses through your veins, while your soulmate may experience your joy as it fills their body with energy and strength. The feelings may not always directly translate the same way, but it’s enough for both persons to know they are connected. This is how they would know you are alright.
One long afternoon at the Kuroo residence, scattered papers and opened notebooks laid forgotten, as steady and calm tones grew into more rash and antagonizing as two voices started to overlap one another in volume. Kuroo Tetsurou was in a quick discussion over Japanese literature homework with Yaku Morisuke, while Kai Nobuyuki sat in between them, supposedly moderating. Final exams were approaching and the third years of Nekoma High School decided to have a study group, which later turned into a heated debate between the volleyball club’s captain and libero— a seemingly ordinary day for the cats.
Then suddenly, Kuroo felt his heart drop to his stomach. He let in a sharp intake of air as the feeling of heat crawled up his stomach and flickering white flames constricted his throat. He couldn’t seem to catch his breath, the air in his lungs seemed to escape through his mouth as soon as he opened them. Agony washed over Kuroo’s face as he struggled to fully understand what was going on. His fight only grew as it was etched onto his furrowed eyebrows and the clenching and unclenching of the jaw, his skin shined with a light sheen of sweat and warm cheeks glowed red— with every gasp he took, it was as if it would be his last.
Yaku and Kai were startled by this abrupt pause and rushed to ask their friend what was happening. Kai reached out for his phone with the intention to call Kenma and ask him if he knew anything about Kuroo’s condition. But Kuroo grasped Kai’s wrist with a firm grip that halted Kai’s movements. With a shake of his head and a dark look on Kuroo’s hazel eyes, Kai got the message. Kuroo knew nothing medical was wrong with him, rather there was something bad happening to his soulmate.
“They’re in pain,” Kuroo chokes out his assumptions as it was not an unusual occurrence. “I think they’re having a panic attack.”
It was the most likely scenario given that the erratic breathing and uncomfortable tightness in his chest was something common when his soulmate would experience such episodes. However, as Kuroo felt more pain, he knew that whatever you were really feeling was worse. Kuroo’s throat started to feel scratched and coarse as if he had screamed for hours until his breath ran out. He started feeling white-hot pain in his chest and the utmost painful urge to pass-out, he almost believed his own heart would give out any minute. These were the most intense emotions that he had ever felt from his soulmate, Kuroo was overcome with worry for what his soulmate was actually feeling and what prompted these emotions to surface.
Anger started bubbling in his own chest at the frustration of wanting to make you feel better. He kept stifling his own groans at the pain and the pounding at his head that just kept growing with every second that passed, without even realizing a few hot tears had escaped from his eyes. ‘ Why do you have to be so far away? I don’t know what else to do, but I want to help you! I will find you alright! Please stay strong! Please hang in there for me!’ Kuroo wanted to scream and yell out his pain and do something about his helplessness, but he couldn’t. He knew it would only make you feel worse. He tried so hard to fight the pain, his own heartache, and yours. He tried to project happier feelings and think happier thoughts. Anything to reassure his soulmate that they were not alone in this world, that they were not alone carrying this heavy burden— so that his soulmate would know that he was there.
He clutched at his own chest, wanting to hold his heart as if he could hold yours and protect it, care for it— to make the pain go away. Kuroo kept declaring in his head, ‘You’re doing so well. You are so strong. I'm here. I’m right here with you. You’re safe. Please remember, I’m here. I love you’, he knew none of his words could really be heard by his soulmate but what else could he do?
Separated soulmates were defenseless to this matter. These circumstances were something out of their control, but only Kuroo and his soulmate could handle and cope with what they could. To Kuroo, the pain felt as though it lasted for hours, but it had only really lasted for a few minutes.
As if Kuroo had just finished holding up the entire world on his shoulders, he let out all the oxygen and inhaled deeply as to calm his beating heart. With shaky but steady breaths Kuroo’s breathing suddenly got better and he could finally see straight. Yet, a dull headache lurked at the back of his head, creeping onto him, waiting for the exhaustion to set in, but it wavered on.
Yaku and Kai looked at Kuroo in anticipation, waiting for their friend to let them know he was alright. The male in question let out a couple more deep breaths while reaching out, laying a hand on both of his friends’ shoulders; as a signal of thanks— ‘thanks for being here’. This small gesture was enough to let them know that the worst was over, but Kuroo kept his head directed towards the ground. The once intense debate seemed to have happened long ago, but at that moment, the captain wished that he wasn’t there at all, rather he wished so much to have been with his soulmate. If his friends were able to be here for him, he should have been there for you. Familiar warmth spread to his own eyes and nose, a sign of fresh tears coming up, but Kuroo exhaled the feeling away and lifted his gaze to the ceiling, glared at it as if he was daring it to collapse right then and there.
The universe was a cruel thing to have not made finding your soulmate easier. Some could even say that it was even more daunting to have this connection through each others’ feelings. It lets you know if your other half is going through a rough time, but it becomes a reminder that your other half is utterly helpless; unable to do anything to console and comfort their soulmate except to carry their pain with them. Kuroo puts the fiercest gaze on his face, claiming to his friends, to any deity that could hear him, to the universe, even— vowing to himself and a golden promise to you that you will find each other, in this life or the next.