Archive of Our Own

In the few hours bordering between the last Friday and Saturday of summer vacation, Jeongguk came to three very important realizations;

1. Beer tasted like piss at the first sip, but then your senses dulled out the more drunk you got and it didn’t taste so horrible afterwards.

2. Khalid’s voice was like melted coffee-flavored chocolate slowly trickling into your ear canal and filling all the crevices there but in a good way and not in a holy-shit-this-might-fuck-up-the-two-braincells-I-have way.

3. Any idea sounded marvelous when you were drunk off your arse.

Jeongguk was teetering on the precipice between being awake and asleep, his ears catching the occasional snippet of whatever deep shit™ the other three were discussing. A small overturned beetle was wriggling on the ground just next to his feet. It lacked a leg, and the remaining ones were uselessly wriggling in the air. Gently, he nudged it with the tip of his toe, and it scuttled away the moment it was upright.

He glanced up, finally tuning in to his surroundings. Hoseok had slid so far down his chair that his butt was barely hanging on the seat and he was staring up at the ceiling of the barn, seemingly lost in thought. Jimin and Wheein were heatedly discussing something or another- earlier, it had been the country’s political state. He’d zoned out when they’d transitioned to the Very Intellectual Topic of whether or not George from Curious George had a tail.

“... You know what sucks?” Vaguely, Wheein whine-slurred. “It’s like... Like girls, y’know... Girls are fuckin’ hot, man.” She paused and hiccupped. “Like, hot damn... But it’s so-” here she hiccupped again, “- man, it’s like so uncool when you see all those- hic- chicks on Twitter, yeah? Those girls who are like, I’m not like other girls... Fuckin’ slut-shaming propaganda.”

She took a swig from her bottle and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, widening her eyes. Jimin nodded seriously.

“Like... Wear what you want, honey; it ain’t that deep. Just don’t go- hic- bitchin’ about the girls who wear what they want.” She finished by tipping her head back and gulping down the contents of her bottle.

“Is this about Hyejin again?” Hobi sighed, giving his twin a half-hearted glare.

Jeongguk exchanged a look with Jimin. Wheein had nursed a massive crush on Ahn Hyejin, the hottest girl in school, right from the moment she had her Big Lesbian Awakening back when in the seventh grade. Over the years, they’d been subjected to hearing about Hyejin’s gorgeous hair, eyes, lips, nose, ears, shoulders, nostrils, etc., courtesy of Wheein at a minimum of sixty-eight times a day.

It had been expected to fizzle out by high school, since the decisions made at twelve were usually the ones that made you want to change your name and move to a different continent when one grew older (see: their intense goth phase in middle school, where they only wore black, listened to the same two Evanescence songs on loop, and thought very quietly whispering the word ‘fuck’ made them badass).

But Wheein, despite having grown out of her Amy Lee-esque attire and hair extensions, had definitely not grown out of her crush on the vice-captain of the cheer squad. In fact, despite her having roughly the athleticism of a rheumatic patient, she’d persisted on going for cheerleader tryouts, just so her lesbian arse could see her crush in a cute preppy skirt and crop top.

(She hadn’t made the cut unfortunately, but afterwards, Hyejin had personally come up to her and told her that she thought Wheein wasn’t half bad, so she considered it a win.)

The thing was, Hyejin had a reputation- and even though Wheein didn’t mind with her sex-positive attitude, most of the school still knew Hyejin as the school’s ‘slut’. The girl in question was rumored to have gone through the entire football team in a week, and from Wheein’s annoyed rants whenever she returned from the girls’ restroom, they knew that the rest of the girls in school loved making digs at Hyejin. That never stopped the boys from calling, though- Hyejin was pretty, and she knew it very well.

Wheein puckered her lips. “Not entirely,” she managed, shrugging. “But kinda, yeah.”

“Knew it,” Hobi declared loudly, with the enthusiasm of someone having discovered Narnia, or the cure to cancer.

“But that- hic- ain’t the point,” Wheein stressed. “Like, you guys don’t get it. You’re... Boys...”

Her voice trailed off in a way that usually implied some sort of dumb idea was coming into fruition in her alcohol-addled brain. Sober Wheein was prone to dreaming up the most harebrained schemes. Drunk Wheein was previously uncharted territory, but Jeongguk had the sinking sensation that they were about to find out just how bad her ideas were.

“You’re boys!” she declared excitedly, her eyes gleaming.

“That’s what society tells me I am.” Jimin nodded solemnly. “But am I really?”

“No, wait!” She nearly fell off her seat due to her excitement- and downing two full bottles of beer probably didn’t help, either. “What do you guys think about crossdressing?”

Jeongguk put his hand up in the air- though it might’ve been his foot, everything was too blurry around him to make out clearly. “Personally, I believe that clothing has no gender and- ow, fucktard, that hurt!”

He scowled at Jimin, who’d just chucked an empty can of Pepsi at his head. Jimin grinned, high-fiving Hobi.

“Guk’s right,” Wheein spoke up, stopping their laughter immediately. “What I was thinking is- like, people... Hallowe’en’s coming up, yeah?” When the three boys nodded like little obedient ducklings (it had been long since accepted the fact that Wheein, as crazy and irresponsible as she was, made a better leader than any of them), she beamed. “And you know Chan’s always gonna throw a huge party!”

“Chan’s parties are lit.” Hobi inhaled his Pepsi before lugging the empty can at Jeongguk’s head. He really needed better friends. “Dude manages to round up the whole school.”

“Exactly!” Wheein snapped her fingers and pointed at her twin. “And you know how the girls always wear ‘slutty’ costumes- stop smiling, you fucking pervert,” she hissed at Hobi, who raised his palms in defense. “You know what? We shouldn’t de-sexualize the girls’ costumes.” She slammed her fists down on her thighs and the rest of them collectively winced- they’d been on the receiving end of Wheein’s ‘friendly’ punches more often than not, and that had to hurt. “We should over-sexualize the boys’!”

They blinked dubiously at her, and she clicked her tongue impatiently.

“I wanna see boys in fishnets, garters, thigh-highs, corsets-” She held out a finger for each, wiggling them like jazz fingers. “Think about it! A fuck-you to all the slut-shamers out there!”

“Great plan, sis, but how’re you gonna manage convincing all the guys in our school to go to the biggest party of the year looking like replicas of early-2000’s Britney Spears?” Hobi cocked an eyebrow.

Jeongguk couldn’t tell if it was the angle of her face, but it suddenly seemed to darken, only the whites of her teeth glinting menacingly. He involuntarily gulped. “Oh, I wasn’t talking about all the guys in our school, brother dearest. Just three.”

...

“Another first of September, another year without my Hogwarts letter.” Jeongguk fell into step besides Jimin as he walked into the school.

“Sucks to be you,” he muttered, sounding distracted.

Jeongguk narrowed his eyes at the older. “Are you even listening to me right now?”

“Sure, sugarplum.” He rolled his eyes. “You were being a nerd and whining about your nerdiness not being acknowledged by the High Order of Nerdom. Again.”

“Fuck you-” Jeongguk began, but Jimin cut him off with a squeal.

“Yoongi Hyung!” He abandoned Jeongguk immediately, running halfway across the hall.

So this was how Mufasa felt when Scar flung him off that rock.

Jimin ran up to his boyfriend, throwing his arms around the senior’s neck and sending him staggering backwards, but managing to keep his arms around Jimin anyway. Despite the sting of betrayal, Jeongguk couldn’t help but smile at the elated expressions on both of their faces.

Though not as intense as Wheein’s pining over Hyejin, Jimin too had been crushing on Min Yoongi for quite a long time. Yoongi was the captain of the school basketball team, and after much reassurances that they would help Jimin procure a plane ticket to Timbuktu should he be rejected, he had managed to confess to the senior a few months ago. Fortunately, Yoongi hadn’t been immune to Jimin’s charms, and the two ended up dating- and doing much more, about which they all (unwillingly) heard from Jimin.

Jeongguk’s smile turned to a wince as they began sloppily making out in the hallway. A few of Yoongi’s teammates wolf-whistled, and Yoongi flipped them off before his large hands came to rest on Jimin’s hips, pulling him closer.

“Y’all gays disgust me.”

Jeongguk looked up, grinning when he saw Hobi standing in front of him, Wheein right behind him. Hobi jerked his chin towards Jimin and Yoongi, who had (thankfully) stopped making out; but what they were doing now- soppily gazing into each other’s eyes- wasn’t all that less nauseating. “Fuckin’ nasty, man. I can feel my breakfast coming up.”

“I wonder what they talk about.” Yoongi whispered something into Jimin’s ear, the latter giggling immediately afterwards.

“Believe me, I’ve heard it, and you don’t wanna know.” Hobi fake-gagged. He threw his shoulders out and plastered a cocky smirk in his face. “Baby, you know what shines brighter than my new Nikes?” he said, imitating Yoongi’s gruff voice. He slipped into a breathy lisp right afterwards. “What, Hyungie?” He winked before leaning closer, caging Jeongguk against the locker. “Your eyes, baby.”

“And that’s why you’re going to die alone, you shitwipe,” Wheein snapped, smacking her brother on the head with a rolled-up notebook.

“Tell that to the ladies all over me.” Hobi grinned, popping his collar. “Man, sticking with you gays really ups my sex appeal.”

“You’re disgusting.” Wheein shook her head. “Begone, uncouth bastard! I don’t want to see your ugly face anymore.”

“Wheein, darling, my sweet sister,” Hobi said seriously. “We’re twins. My face is just as ugly as yours.”

He hurriedly clammed up when he saw telltale signs of her temper rising. Nobody messed with Jung Wheein when she was pissed- no doubt Hobi knew it better than anybody else.

“Alright, it’s off to Economics we go!” he said hastily, yanking her by the wrist. “See you later, Arts kid!”

Jeongguk shook his head in amusement as they disappeared among the throng of students heading to their respective classes. He had first period History- a class he shared with Jimin, but by the looks of it, he didn’t seem to be detaching himself from Yoongi anytime soon. Jeongguk reached into his locker and took out his battered textbook- he always had the worst luck of getting the most ancient textbooks handed down to him. Whoever owned this book before had delighted in doodling penises on the noses of literally every person in the book- his annoyance was justifiable, it was rather distracting when you were learning about the Second World War and Mussolini had a large hairy dick inked smack in the middle of his face.

Jeongguk finally managed to yank his notebook out from the dangerously slanted pile in his locker, but the time and precision that was required for such a Herculean task meant that the hallways were empty by then (Jimin had left a little while earlier, hand-in-hand with Yoongi, calling out, “I’ll save a seat for you, Jeonggukkie! Remember we have dance practice afterschool!”).

He had just rounded the bend when he ran smack into somebody.

Years of having practice as a dancer meant that his balance was perfect, and he managed to stay on his feet. The other guy wasn’t so lucky, though- there was a distinct thud, accompanied by the clatter of what seemed like the entire contents of the stationary aisle falling like rain around them.

He heard a groan, and it was then that he looked at the source of the sound.

Jeongguk saw a messy black-haired head attached to a dark face, owl-rimmed glasses slightly askew on an angular nose. He had landed on his butt and all of the papers and his pens and pencils were scattered around.

He groaned again when he saw the mess.

“Shit, sorry.” Jeongguk finally remembered his manners, crouching down immediately. The boy looked up, looking slightly like a deer in headlights.

Kim Taehyung. Jeongguk knew of him, but he didn’t know him in particular- at any rate, he did Science, so they’d never shared classes. He was a quiet kid who’d gotten a scholarship here from some school in Daegu, and was rumored to be crazy smart.

“Uh...” Taehyung stammered, quickly lowering his gaze when Jeongguk’s eyes met his. A slight redness crept up his neck and onto his cheeks. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” Jeongguk shrugged, handing him a few pens I’d collected. Their hands brushed, and he flinched at the contact. Unintentionally, Jeongguk took note that his hands were huge- where Jeongguk himself could hold only about seven pens max in a hand, he could easily hold a dozen. “It was my fault anyway.”

“Nah, I- I should’ve kept my eyes ahead of me,” he brushed it off. His eyes were still trained on the linoleum.

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better, Taehyung.” Jeongguk gave him the last of the papers he’d collected- hastily, because seeing all the equations Taehyung had written in his loping handwriting was making him slightly dizzy.

His head snapped up so fast he might’ve gotten whiplash. “I, uh... Okay, Jeongguk,” he gulped, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously.

Okay, but why did Jeongguk’s name sound so good coming from Taehyung’s mouth? His deep voice and slight accent made it sound a lot sexier than it was.

Jeongguk got to his feet, holding out a hand for the other boy. Taehyung’s much larger one easily dwarfed his, long fingers curling around Jeongguk’s daintier ones, and he stood up. “Thanks again.” He dropped his hand the moment he steadied himself.

“Like I said, don’t mention it.” Jeongguk smiled. “I’ll see you around?”

He gave a tentative nod, and Jeongguk spun on his heel and made his way to class.

Jeongguk was well over ten minutes late, and everybody’s eyes flickered to him when he pushed the door open. The seat next to Jimin was empty, and he muttered out an apology to the teacher before sliding into it.

He had barely sat down when Jimin slid a small note over, bearing only one sentence in his almost unintelligible script.

y r u smiling??? he’d written, and Jeongguk had no honest answer.

...

Riverdale High had football. Hogwarts had Quidditch. The sport Jeongguk’s school went rabid over was basketball.

Almost every Friday of autumn saw a game being held between their school and those considered worthy rivals, and they would go whenever there was a home game. Jeongguk went in the name of school spirit, Hobi went for the food and drinks, Wheein went for the cheerleaders (mostly for Hyejin, of course), and Jimin went for-

“MIN YOONGI!” Jimin hollered himself hoarse. “LEE CHANGMIN! JEON JINWOON! LEE HYUNG HYUNG-NIM!”

“Shout a little louder, bro- I think there are several people in China who might’ve missed that,” Hoseok commented, munching on a hot dog. He winced when Jimin whacked Hoseok with his homemade sign, which a teacher had made him keep folded for the rest of the game (it had read MY MAN CAN HANDLE BALLS ON THE COURT AND OFF, WHAT ABOUT YOURS?).

Jeongguk turned his attention back to the game. Their team was doing great- Yoongi made an excellent captain, and the rest of the team were so in sync it was almost scary.

The cheerleaders went wild when Yoongi threw the winning shot, screaming and hugging each other and waving their pom-poms in the air- but nobody was as feral as Jimin. He practically tore out of the stands and onto the field. Yoongi, who’d been hoisted up by his teammates, nearly broke his neck in his hurry to get down to Jimin.

Hobi shook his head. “One of these days they’re gonna vacuum their faces off, and then we’d have a real problem, boys.”

“Ah, young love in all of its glory,” Jeongguk agreed. The members of the other team looked flabbergasted as Yoongi dipped Jimin, never once detaching their lips. “All of its spit-slicked, sweaty glory.”

Jimin was tagging along with Yoongi and the rest of the team to go celebrate at the nearest McDonald’s and the twins’ dad would come to pick them up, so Jeongguk was left to drive home alone.

He put his phone on shuffle, wincing when Fergalicious began playing at full volume. The few stragglers in the parking lot immediately turned to look at him. He had never wished harder for an Invisibility Cloak.

Thankfully, the roads were mostly empty so whatever that was left of Jeongguk’s dignity was safe. He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, driving past the friends and couples that were making their way along the road.

But then he’d passed even them, and for a moment, it felt like it was just Jeongguk, his dusty Nissan sedan and Nelly Furtado(’s voice)- until he saw someone staggering along the pavement.

He would’ve thought it was a drunk, but they were carrying what seemed like a massive box. When the figure passed under a streetlamp, it illuminated messy dark hair and round glasses.

“Hey, Taehyung,” Jeongguk called when he drew level to him. The other boy’s head whipped around, terrified. “Christ, are those books?”

He glanced at what Jeongguk had presumed to be a box but was actually a tower of massive books. “Yeah, I, ah, I’m coming from the library- thought I’d get a bit of light reading done,” he admitted sheepishly.

“That’s light?” Each of the books would’ve been at least a thousand pages easily, and he had four. “Where are you going? D’you want a lift?”

He hesitated. “I-I don’t want to be a bother.”

“It’s not like I’m going to be carrying you, Taehyung. I promise I won’t take you off and kill you, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“He assured, hiding the knife behind his back.” Taehyung’s eyes widened, as if he hadn’t meant for it to slip out. “Oh my gosh, sorry-”

Jeongguk couldn’t help it. He giggled.

Taehyung’s eyes widened even further. Jeongguk managed to quell his laughter, leaning over to open the door. “Hop on in. I’m headed the same way.”

To put it gently, it was awkward watching Taehyung struggle to get into the seat with his books in his grip. He dropped two of them at two separate times and dropped all of them when he was trying to get the last one, and bonked his head on the door as well. Jeongguk didn’t have to look at him to know that his face was flaming,

“Sorry.” He sounded like he wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and die.

“It’s not a big deal,” Jeongguk assured him, and changed the subject to save him from further embarrassment. “What are you reading?”

“Oh, uh, these...” His laugh came out slightly high-pitched and Jeongguk saw him wince out of the corner of his eyes. “They’re. Um. Anatomy mostly.”

“Ah, I forgot you were a Science kid!” Jeongguk glanced at the books, from where a skinless man was staring back at him. He quickly looked away.

Taehyung visibly relaxed at this. “Yeah, they’re for Biology. We’re doing the nervous system, and I decided to get a little more reading done.”

“Smart.” The lighting was dim so Jeongguk couldn’t be too sure, but Taehyung seemed like he might be blushing.

He could hear Taehyung’s breathing over the muted sounds of the Wheatus track that was playing. The streetlamps cast a dull orange glow on the older, his hair almost looking like flames licking around his face.

“We’re here.” His voice was so quiet that Jeongguk would’ve missed it if his eyes weren’t already looking at Taehyung’s stupidly plump lips.

He was no doubt considering it a victory that he got off the car without as much trouble as he had getting in, only nearly tripping over his shoelaces once.

“Thanks, Jeongguk.” He smiled.

“Don’t mention it.” Jeongguk’s voice came out a bit choked.

He waited for Taehyung to walk up his driveway before shifting the gear back into ‘drive’, his own house being a little further off.

All the way, Jeongguk tried to ignore the nagging reminder at the back of his head that Kim Taehyung had the most gorgeous smile he’d ever seen.

...

There was a lot to be said about the expression ‘time stood still’. People used it when they saw their crush for the first time, or when a scandalous secret was revealed and everybody was waiting for the shit to hit the fan.

For Jeongguk, time stood still when it was the last period of the day.

The clocks in school must be bewitched to work at a thousandth of the speed they should be. It was maddening, alternating between staring at the teacher’s face as they droned on and on about something you couldn’t care less about, and the wretched clock that didn’t seem to work at all.

He was nearly drooling on his desk when the bell rang at last, putting all the students out of their misery. Jeongguk didn’t bother listening to what the teacher was still prattling on about. She had an hour to get this bullshit over with, jokes on her if she thought they’d give her a minute more.

Jimin, who had English Lit last period, was out before the rest because their teacher had been absent and the substitute hadn’t known what to do with them. He was already on his way to the diner the four of them usually hung out at after school. The twins had skived off but Wheein had texted to say that they’d be joining too (and reminding Jeongguk to not polish off all the fries before they came. He made no promises).

After a quick detour to the loo (because Jeongguk had emptied half his water bottle in hopes to stay awake in class, to no avail), still trying to keep up with the animated conversation happening in the group chat, he heard the distinct sound of something- or someone- hitting a locker, and he doubled back to the corridor he’d just passed.

As expected, there were three boys crowded around a locker, jeering at someone on the ground. Jeongguk rolled his eyes, stalking over to them. They were three jocks from their year- Choi Myungdae and two of his dimwitted cronies, probably bullying a ninth grader because the poor kid dared to sneeze around them.

“Hey!” Jeongguk called out. He didn’t have a very good plan, the only thing running through his head being don’t get hit, which was quite a weak plan but it was all that he had. Though definitely not on the scrawny side of the spectrum himself, Jeongguk was just one guy against three basketball players, and he didn’t fancy having his face beaten into a pulp. Myungdae never messed with their group, but he didn’t want it to start now.

“Jeon.” Myungdae grinned sleazily. “Hey, what are you doing out here?”

“I was just passing by, Myungdae.” Jeongguk forced himself to smile at him although he’d rather have puked. “Thought I heard something here, came to investigate. Who do you have there?”

“Oh, this?” Myungdae leaned against the locker. “We were just having a little fun with him, weren’t we, Kim?”

To Jeongguk’s horror, he saw Taehyung slumped against the locker, looking rather worse for wear. He glanced up momentarily, and Jeongguk was hit by a wave of panic when he saw the pleading look in his eyes.

“Oh, Taehyung, there you are!” Jeongguk exclaimed faux-brightly, and a hint of confusion passed over Taehyung’s face. He wracked his two brain cells for a lie- fibbing on the spot was Jimin’s Slytherin arse’s forte. He put his faith in the fact that Myungdae had all the brain cells of a jellyfish. “I have your books with me!”

Taehyung wasn’t the only one who look baffled at this. Thankfully, he cottoned on quick enough, and nodded suddenly. “I, uh, thanks.”

“Shut up, Kim.” Myungdae kicked him immediately, and then turned to Jeongguk. “And what books are you talking about, Jeon?” He arched an eyebrow. “Thought you were an Arts kid.”

Dammit, he was smarter than Jeongguk had given him credit for. “Er, they’re for my cousin,” Jeongguk lied himself silly. “She’s starting her A. Levels next year and wanted to get a head start.”

“She coming here?” Myungdae arched his eyebrows. Jeongguk wanted to punch him in the face. “Well, if she’s anything like you, I don’t think we’ll have any complications; will we, boys?”

Jeongguk cringed at the overly enthusiastic nods the two gave their leader and hid his disgust with what he hoped was a coy smile. “Would you mind awfully if I took Taehyung off your hands now?” He made his eyes look wide and pouted for good measure, the expression Wheein called his ‘anime girl face’ and Hobi and Jimin called his ‘I have explosive diarrhea face’.

Myungdae frowned. “Aw, but we didn’t have our fun yet.”

Jeongguk snuck a glance at Taehyung. He was watching the scene unfold apprehensively, and Jeongguk’s heart clenched. “C’mon, Myungdae.” Jeongguk forced a laugh. “Surely there are other ways someone like you could have fun?”

Myungdae smirked (of course he did). “What are you suggesting, baby boy?”

Jeongguk swallowed back the bile rising in his throat. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I’m holding you to that, Jeon.” Myungdae’s flirting sounded more like a threat. “He’s right, boys. Come on, shit like this ain’t worth our time.”

Jeongguk winced when they each aimed well-placed hits at Taehyung, who only curled up on himself further. Jeongguk waited for them to disappear before he crouched down next to the older boy. “Hey, you okay?”

He mumbled something, keeping his eyes focused on the floor.

“Taehyung?” Jeongguk gnawed on his lip, scanning Taehyung’s body for any signs of injury. “Hey, they didn’t hurt you, did they?”

“No.” Taehyung’s eyes were still focused on the ground. “It’s just... You always wind up having to help me. Thanks, and sorry.”

“Geez, you apologize way too much.” Jeongguk nudged his shoulder, trying to lighten the mood.

The corner of his lips quirked up, just a smidgen. “Sorry.”

Jeongguk nudged his shoulder, biting back the urge to ask Taehyung if he was alright again when he winced. “Need help getting up?” he asked instead.

He shook his head. “No, I can manage.” He winced again as he got to his feet.

“So why were you at school this late?” Taehyung’s hair fell in soft curls over his forehead, the longest strands brushing the collar of his uniform. Jeongguk was hit by the sudden urge to run his hands through it. “At the library?” he guessed. Taehyung’s sheepish grin was answer enough. “Out of curiosity, what’s your favorite book?”

Jeongguk could imagine Jimin and the twins laughing their stupid arses off at his attempts at communication. His only saving grace was that Taehyung was even more awkward than he was.

“You’ll think I’m a dweeb,” Taehyung said mournfully.

Jeongguk pressed his palm against his chest. “I, Jeon Jeongguk, promise Kim Taehyung that I will not judge him for his taste in literature. Unless it’s, like, Twilight, or Fifty Shades. In that case I’m definitely judging you.”

His face twisted in an almost comical way, and he shook his head at once. “Oh, hell, no! Too misogynistic for my taste.”

Jeongguk grinned. “I do love a woke man,” he quipped. Taehyung’s face was flaming, and Jeongguk was so, so fond.

His phone buzzed again, and Jeongguk bit back a curse at the message (a photo of a sad-looking fry, captioned we saved this one for u, courtesy of Hobi). “Ugh, I have to go. My friends are assholes. I’ll see you around?”

Taehyung’s smile could end wars and cure cancer. “I, uh, yeah!”

. . .

When Jeongguk was a young boy, his father did not take him to the city see a marching band.

However, he did take Jeongguk to a dance class.

His dance teacher had been a spindly man he privately believed to be a vampire, who spent less time actually dancing than imparting pretentious words of wisdom to his students. One of his favorite quotes were, ‘Dancing is a refined art that employs the movement of the body to express a tale, not as obvious as the written word and smoother than the painted’.

That being said, Jeongguk wasn’t entirely sure what sort of tale Jimin and Hobi were trying to express by slut dropping to Kung Fu Fighting. A few of the other dancers were sitting around, either videoing on their phones or cheering them on.

“Guk!” Jimin cheered when he spotted Jeongguk in the doorway. “Hey!” He stopped dancing and walked over, lifting his shirt to wipe away the sweat from his forehead.

Hobi was still aggressively twerking, a look on utmost concentration etched on his face. He finished with a perfect split, his hands raised high in the air. He rose to his feet and dramatically bowed to everybody who was applauding him.

Practice started out with warming up before they got into the choreography. Jeongguk stretched back until he felt his tendons straining, pushing himself as close to the limit as he could. The dancing room was right next the basketball court, and even over the sound of the Zumba tracks Hobi insisted on playing while they warmed up, they could hear the heavy thuds of the basketball and the players’ footfalls.

The choreography wasn’t too difficult, and Jeongguk could navigate his way through most of it by muscle memory. Of course, this allowed ample time to think of other things, such as bright smiles and messy black hair.

The thing about having a thought was that you couldn’t really unthink it, and then it lead to others- thoughts like dark eyes behind square-rimmed spectacles; shockingly large, veiny hands; and plump, slightly chapped but still utterly kissable lips.

Wait.

Jeongguk lost his footing and went tumbling to the ground. Everybody else abruptly stopped what they were doing and rushed over. Yongsun, one of the senior dancers, held out a hand. “You okay, kiddo?”

“Yeah, ’m fine- just missed a step.” Yongsun accepted this without a second thought, but Jimin and Hobi, who knew Jeongguk better than anyone and just how good of a dancer and bad of a liar he was, raised their eyebrows disbelievingly. “I’m alright, really! Sorry for messing it up- let’s continue.”

“We’ll start from the top.” Jimin clapped his hands together, and everybody went back to work.

Both the basketball team and school brass band shared the locker room with the dance team. Unsurprisingly, Jimin leapt into Yoongi’s waiting arms at once. Standing awkwardly to a side was Namjoon, a wiry guy that played the trombone.

He was also a Science student.

Jeongguk’s brain made several connections at once, all of them leading up to: HE PROBABLY KNOWS TAEHYUNG ASK HIM ASK HIM ASK HIM ASK HIM.

Which, of course, was a wonderfully idiotic idea, so of course he went along with it. When Hobi excused himself to hit the showers, Jeongguk took this as a golden opportunity.

As casually as Jeongguk could- which really wasn’t casual at all- he caught Namjoon’s attention. “Hey, Namjoon Hyung.” Jeongguk plastered on his most innocent grin, the one he reserved for whenever he was trying to convince his mother that he certainly did not spend the entire afternoon in front of his gaming console. “Band practice alright today?”

Namjoon looked more than grateful to have a distraction from the aggressive snogging that was going on next to him. “Yep.” He subtly inched away from Jimin and Yoongi. “Dance, too?”

“Yep.” When Namjoon looked like he’d decided that that was the extent of their (quite painfully awkward) conversation, Jeongguk panicked. “So how are things these days? Exams being nigh and all that.”

“A bit exhausting, but nothing I can’t handle.” Namjoon was also a scholarship kid- his IQ was insane, and he was top of his grade every year. “But I have help, so that’s good.”

“Seokjin Hyung?” Namjoon’s boyfriend and student council president, also consistently on the honor roll and second to only Namjoon marks-wise.

“Nah, this kid in your year, Taehyung.” Bingo.

“Taehyung?” Jeongguk pretended to be busy with his duffle bag.

“Yeah, ’bout this tall, messy black hair that’s always in his face- I’d tell you about his voice, but he rarely talks so I doubt you’ve heard it before.”

“Oh, yeah, Taehyung.” Jeongguk zipped and unzipped his bag repetitively. Namjoon, bless his soul, remained as oblivious as ever. “Yeah, I know him. How’s he helping you, though?”

“I give him my notes- he copies them down in neater handwriting and gives them back. Honestly, if the kid wasn’t so damn good at science, I’d suggest he go into cryptology. Even I can’t read my notes sometimes.”

Jeongguk twisted the straps of his bag between his fingers. “Wow, he sounds smart.”

“He is.” Namjoon nodded vigorously. “He’s so enthusiastic, too- I always considered myself a hard worker, but he might just rob me of that title. I’m worried for him sometimes, though- he’s a bit on the shy side, and as much as he loves to bury himself in his studies, I’m not sure if it’s good for him.”

Well, he can bury himself in me if he’d like, and- whoa. Whoa, where did that thought come from?

Namjoon was still talking, but this time it was some factoid about crustaceans that was maybe halfway to interesting and Jeongguk would’ve listened at any other time, but he was still desperately trying to wonder where that pesky little thought had popped into his head. Jesus H. Christ, he’d only ever interacted with Taehyung a grand total of three measly times, and his thoughts were already spiraling into the gutter.

He blamed it on Jimin.

Thankfully, Hobi had returned from the shower, and Jeongguk took it as his cue to get cleaned up himself. Namjoon looked slightly disappointed that he hadn’t been able to fully discourse about the life cycle of a hermit crab, but his spirits seemed to lift when Jeongguk reassured him that he’d be happy to listen at another time.

Jeongguk stared at the cracked tile on the wall (someone had drawn a startlingly accurate caricature of Donald Trump on it, complete with a phallus in place of a nose. He briefly wondered if it was the previous owner of his History textbook, or if there had been a group of vandals obsessed with organ transplanting, specifically penises into faces). He scrubbed his skin so hard it went red.

Pure thoughts, Jeon, pure thoughts.

When he stepped out of the cubicle, the locker room seemed empty, and he walked over to his locker, subconsciously humming Fancy under his breath.

Someone suddenly shouted, “Jeongguk!”, and he nearly jumped out of (red, rubbed raw) skin. Clutching a dry t-shirt to his chest, he turned around. Hobi and Jimin were standing behind him, hands akimbo and grinning like idiots.

“So Kim Taehyung, huh?” Jimin piped up, and Jeongguk raised his middle fingers skyward in response.

...

Jimin’s birthday-bash-slash-sleepover was practically a tradition at this point. At age eight, it involved barricading themselves in Jimin’s room the moment everybody else left to binge Step It Up, armed with Kit-Kats and Coca-Cola.

At eighteen, they’d upgraded to the derelict barn in the Parks’ yard, Euphoria and shitty booze- but the Kit-Kats were still voted relevant.

Jeongguk wasn’t drunk (yet), but a pleasant haze had settled over his mind. Jimin and Wheein were having yet another existential debate (their topic of choice: was Maddy or Kat the badder bitch? Tune into tonight’s very special episode of Girls vs. Gays to find out!) and Hobi was trying to see how many Kit-Kats he could fit into his mouth in one go.

“Gukkie!” Wheein’s whine broke through the low hum of whatever episode was playing and Hobi’s disappointed grumble (he’d only managed six). “You’re the tie-breaker here! Please tell this poor misguided fool that Kat is a fucking queen.”

“She was a bitch to Maddy!” Jimin argued heatedly. “Maddy. Deserves. Better!” He hit his fist against his palm with each word.

Jeongguk didn’t miss a beat with his answer. “Neither, my queen is Jules.”

There was a silence, and then Jimin made a noise of approval.

They were all crowded around Jimin’s laptop, sprawled on the dingy mattress they’d dragged here at one point last summer. The October chill felt outside wasn’t felt in full blast inside- all the same, Jeongguk was thankful for the comforter Mrs. Park had insisted they take with them.

He reached for the bag of Kit-Kats, frowning when only an empty wrapper came into his grasp. He scowled at Hobi, who gave a sheepish grin, his chocolate-coated teeth on display.

“Speaking of bad bitches,” Wheein suddenly piped up. “We still need to decide what you guys are gonna be for Hallowe’en. Only nineteen days left, lads.”

This snapped Jeongguk out of his haze quite effectively. “Wait, what? I didn’t think we were actually gonna go along with this!” He looked at Hobi for support, who shrugged in a what-can-you-do? sort of way.

“My dear, sweet, stupid little Jeonggukkie- when have I ever had an idea that we didn’t go along with?” Wheein asked with the air of someone speaking to a particularly petulant child. “Besides, you were all game for it two months ago!”

Jeongguk sucked on the inside of his cheek and squared his shoulders. “I was under the influence,” he mumbled. But then Wheein brought out the big guns- her damn puppy eyes- and he was a goner. “Ugh, fine. But only on the condition that you woman up and confess to Hyejin, for god’s sake!”

“Oh, believe me.” Wheein’s eyes gleamed wickedly. “I plan to.”

“Yoongles wanted us to match this time,” Jimin added. “So, we’d better make a decision fast.”

“Nineteen days is enough time to make a choice, Jimbles.” Wheein sniffed. “Even though you have horrible taste in favorite characters.”

“In eighteen days,” Hobi corrected. “Happy birthday, Jiminie.”

“Doggy pile!” Jeongguk cried, and they all smothered Jimin in a massive group hug.

“My ass is vibrating,” Jimin declared, making them all back off. He fished his phone out of his back pocket and a disgustingly soppy look immediately overtook his features. “It’s Yoongi Hyung,” he announced, albeit unnecessarily.

Jeongguk worried at his lip, tuning out the twins’ obligatory noises of disgust as Jimin began to coo into the receiver. He hadn’t given a thought to what he’d be for Hallowe’en since he hadn’t expected Wheein to bring it up again. Wheein had an abundance of bad ideas all the time. Trust her to go along with the worst.

“I can practically see the gears turning in your head,” the woman of the hour herself spoke, nudging his side. “Penny for your thoughts?”

Jeongguk sighed. “I just don’t know what I’m gonna go as.”

Much to his surprise, she laughed. “Neither do we, dumbass! We’re just gonna go with the flow, see what we can afford with our meager allowances. Or,” she paused, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, “are you trying to look pretty for somebody? A little birdie told me that our ickle Googie-kins has a wee crush.”

Jeongguk gave Hobi a withering look before tackling Wheein to the bed, tickling her sides. She shrieked, her legs kicking wildly in the air.

“Stop, stop- ‘m gonna pee myself!” She gasped for breath. “Okay, fuck, fine. I won’t tease you.” She waited until Jeongguk was settled back in his original place before giving him a shit-eating grin. “Aw, you’re blushing.”

“Fuck off.”

So on Monday morning, the group chat was flooded with texts from Wheein; hourly reminders to meet her at the school gate the moment classes were over to go on the shopping spree. As the school day gradually drew to a close, Jeongguk found himself dreading the last period for the first time in his life.

Wheein was already in the driver’s seat of the bright blue Volkswagen beetle (affectionately named ‘Jessie’) the twins co-owned. Both of them were notoriously poor drivers, and Jeongguk wasn’t surprised to see a fresh dent on the side that wasn’t there the last time he saw Jessie.

Jimin was sitting in the backseat- neither him nor Jeongguk were stupid enough to call shotgun whenever the Jung siblings were driving- strapped so elaborately to his seat that he looked like he was part of a Shibari fantasy. “I’m not taking any chances,” he whispered, just so Jeongguk could hear.

Wheein turned around in her seat, her smile almost menacing. “Ready, boys?”

The boys gulped.

After the most terrifying eight and a half minutes of Jeongguk’s life- during which around sixty-two traffic rules were violated, his entire life flashed before his eyes and a brief moment where he mourned the fact that the soundtrack to his near-death experience was a Pussycat Dolls record circa 2007 + the twins’ manic laughter + Jimin’s and his high-pitched screaming- they stepped out into the parking lot of the local mall.

Well, Hobi and Wheein did. Jimin and Jeongguk more or less slithered out of the seats, both decidedly green.

Naturally, Wheein paraded them all over the mall and went to every single store to check out the opportunities before dragging them back to the first one they entered.

An entire section was dedicated to Hallowe’en-themed merchandise- from decorations to candy to some weird gloopy-looking slime shit in a barrel that Jeongguk did not want to know the purpose of.

“Costumes!” Jimin exclaimed gleefully, darting off to the section. Hobi followed close behind, but Wheein frowned at the obvious division of the costumes into two sections.

“For women and for men.” She scowled darkly. “Does it really matter if a girl goes as a swashbuckling buccaneer or a dude wears a tiara and a frilly pink dress? For fuck’s sake, I thought the entire point behind Hallowe’en was to pretend to be someone else, even for a couple hours!”

“It is kinda stupid.” Jeongguk prayed inwardly that Wheein wouldn’t be forcing any of them into tiaras and frilly pink dresses. When she showed no signs of cheering up, he forcefully dragged her to the women’s section- deliberately avoiding the atrocious Disney Princess-themed monstrosities (he loved Jasmine, but he didn’t want a bralette in his future).

Besides, Wheein wanted them to be as provocative as possible. Butt bows and puffy ball gowns didn’t exactly scream ‘fuck me’.

Jimin was dithering between a halo headband and a devil’s horns one, frowning as he weighed his two choices. “Go for the devil one.” Jeongguk gestured to the sparkly red one. “That way you can pair it with black fishnets and leather. Besides, don’t miss the golden opportunity of letting Yoongi know you’re horny.”

“I ought to punch you for that godawful pun.” Jimin kept the horns anyway. “See anything you like?”

“Nah.” Jeongguk sucked his cheeks in. “I’ll just have a look around- maybe I can pass off as a vampy vampire with silicon fangs and a cloak.”

“You’re not gonna get off that easy,” Jimin deadpanned. “Besides, Gukkie, you gotta wear something that shows off that tiny waist, them thick thighs, that glorious Jeon-booty of yours!” He slapped Jeongguk’s butt to prove his point, making him yelp. “C’mon, show the world what you hide underneath those baggy sweaters and loose jeans you wear.”

Jeongguk sighed. “Fuck. Fine. Where’s Hobi, anyway?”

“Right here, dolls.”

Jimin’s jaw dropped, and when Jeongguk turned around, he could see why.

Hobi was decked out in a full slutty witch getup, the black silk hugging his muscular body. A long cloak trailed behind him. He had black stockings on his legs, complete with a garter belt. A pointy witch’s hat on his dark curls and a pair of dangerously heeled stilettos completed the look.

Jeongguk frowned at the obvious bulge in the costume where his dick was. Hobi scoffed.

“I’m gonna wear shorts or a skirt over this- my dick can’t breathe.” He grabbed his crotch. “If I tucked it in further, my dick would literally be in my own asshole. I’m not even sure if that’s considered masturbation or not.”

“Hey, Guk, you find out what you’re- whoa.”

Wheein halted in her tracks and gave her brother a once-over. Hobi, being Hobi, jutted his ass out and put a hand on his hip, assuming the pose of a slightly constipated supermodel.

“Nice work, bro.” Wheein grinned. “Mum and Dad are gonna be so proud of us.”

“This better be worth being grounded for a lifetime, sis,” Hobi warned before strutting off to the changing rooms, blowing a kiss at one of the sales assistants (the poor boy looked ready to bust a nut).

“What were you saying, chica?” Jimin turned back to the criminal mastermind herself.

“Well, I was actually gonna ask Guk if he found a good costume yet.” When he shook his head, her grin widened... Almost threateningly. “In that case, have I found the perfect one for you! Ta-da!”

Jeongguk took one look at the offending article of clothing in her hands and decided that he would never again, for as long as he lived, let Jung Wheein take the reins.

. . .

Surprisingly enough, Wednesday, the thirty-first of October, dawned like any other day. Jeongguk woke up five minutes before his alarm rang and briefly wondered if it was too late to develop a severe case of pneumonia, but the alarm blared before he could weigh out all the pros and cons.

Jeongguk dawdled, getting ready for school, hoping he’d be late enough so the others couldn’t corner him. What were the symptoms of double pneumonia? He drove as slowly as he could without being cursed out.

A door slammed, and Jeongguk paused just in time to see a slightly-more-frazzled-than-usual Kim Taehyung bolting out of his house and onto the side walk- as usual, he was cradling half a library in his arms.

Jeongguk honked when he was just behind him, and Taehyung jolted. He lowered the shutter. “Get in, stranger.”

The same Wheatus song that had been playing the last time was on the radio again. Jeongguk cranked the volume up, and Taehyung’s lips curled up.

“Thanks for the ride,” Taehyung broke the silence. Jeongguk tried not to think too hard about other connotations of that statement. “I missed the school bus- thought I’d have to run my way to the school. Though I might’ve passed out two blocks down.”

“Oh, don’t be so harsh on yourself. I’m sure you would’ve lasted three blocks, at least.”

Taehyung snickered. “I wouldn’t be so hopeful if I were you, I get out of breath going down the stairs.”

Don’t worry, I’ll do all the work.

They reached school ten minutes before the bell rang (drat). Jeongguk’s heart skipped a beat when Taehyung stepped out and the soft morning sunlight illuminated his face in all the right places. It created the illusion that he was glowing from within. Since he was perpetually slouched in on himself, it hadn’t been obvious, but Jeongguk realized how tall he really was.

Taehyung’s (distractingly prominent) Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat.

“You coming to the party at Chan’s?” Jeongguk asked before he could awkwardly shuffle away, selfishly wanting to keep him just a little bit longer.

An odd expression settled over his face, as he was having a great internal debate. “Totally.” He chuckled nervously. “’Course I’m gonna be there. Why- why would you think otherwise?”

“Great!” It took a bad liar to recognize another. Taehyung’s face was redder than a tomato. “Who are you gonna be?” He gulped, and Jeongguk decided to save him his misery after a very pregnant pause. “Gonna be hungover all day tomorrow, unfortunate that Hallowe’en fell on a Wednesday.”

“Yep! Hallowe’en, yeah!” Taehyung nodded, albeit a little too enthusiastically. “Um... I haven’t decided yet.”

Jeongguk stared blankly at him. “Taehyung. Today is Hallowe’en.”

He didn’t think it possible, but Taehyung turned even redder. “I’ve been... Busy?” he squeaked. “But- but I’ll totally be there! Yeah! Chan’s place! Today!”

“Tonight,” Jeongguk corrected.

“Yep, that’s what I meant to say,” Taehyung said quickly. “Tonight. Yeah.”

He had slouched over again so they were eye-level, but his eyes were anywhere but on Jeongguk’s face. It was so tempting, the urge to coo and pinch his cheeks. Jeongguk resisted with great difficulty.

Sadly, he couldn’t ignore the buzzing from his phone any further- it had been vibrating for the past few minutes; the other three were flooding the group chat, and Jeongguk had barely caught sight of one of Hobi’s message on the lockscreen (which read: WE CAN SEE U LOVER BOY U AIN’T SLICK).

The rest of the day flew by in a blur- Jeongguk barely remembered making his way from one class to another before he was driving to the Jungs’s. Jimin was in the passenger seat, his feet thrown up carelessly on the dashboard and messily devouring a cheesy burrito. Jeongguk had a hard time keeping his eyes on both the road and the cheesy strings he strongly suspected Jimin might wipe on the seat.

Wheein whisked them upstairs to her room the moment they were inside. She had all the costumes with her, and Jeongguk took a deep breath when he saw them lying out neatly on her bedspread.

“Change wherever you want.” She was already halfway in her vampire getup (her fangs were glow-in-the-dark. Jeongguk thought they were immensely cool, and was intensely jealous). “Come back here for makeup. Hobi’s in his room, getting ready- last I checked, he’d gotten his dick stuck in the zipper and was mourning his inability to procreate. Good riddance, if you ask me.”

Jeongguk opted for changing in the bathroom, sighing at his reflection. The white corset hugged all his curves- a bit uncomfortably, too; he spent a good few minutes adjusting his penis so it wouldn’t tear through the fabric on the off chance he popped a boner. Identical white stockings to the black ones Hobi had were on his legs, and a lacy white garter belt as well. A sheer skirt and ballet flats completed the look.

Jung Wheein was an evil, evil woman.

“Lookin’ good, Jeongguk.” Jimin nodded in approval. Unlike Jeongguk, he’d left almost nothing to the imagination- red corset, stylish black fishnets and leather ankle boots. The headband was placed on his ruffled black hair, and two batty wings were strapped around his shoulders.

“Yoongi’s gonna nut.” There was no doubt about it- Yoongi looked like his dick would burst when Jimin was in sweatpants and a t-shirt with an unidentified stain on the middle; he’d probably spontaneously combust at this.

Jimin tittered. “He’s gonna fuck me so good, with his big, fat-”

“Okay, okay; TMI.” Jeongguk made a face and waltzed into Wheein’s room. “Make us pretty, Wheein!”

She was already brushing eyeshadow on her brother’s face. She wolf-whistled when she saw Jimin, but her grin dropped when she saw Jeongguk. He already knew what was coming.

“Do I have to?” Jeongguk stuck out his bottom lip and tried to make his eyes look watery. Wheein barely batted an eyelid.

“Jeongguk. The rest. Now.” Her tone left no room for complaint. Jeongguk’s shoulders slumped and he stomped over to her bed. With one last look of disgust, he grabbed the bunny ears and cottontail.

“Goddamn, I dunno if I wanna wreck you or wrap you up in fluffy blankets and keep you safe from the world.” Hobi grinned. “You look adorable.”

Jeongguk tugged on one of the satin ears and made a face. The corset was already riding up his ass.

They piled into Jessie. All the time Jeongguk couldn’t help but wonder what his poor mother’s reaction would be if his body was pulled out of a wreckage looking like a discount Playboy Bunny. Hobi took the wheel, and Wheein cranked up the volume to Lady Marmalade, because she was Satan and enjoyed seeing Jeongguk suffer.

Jimin should’ve given her the devil horns.

Chan’s house could be identified from a mile away. They heard it before they saw it- the heavy bass of a Krewella track made nearly the whole neighborhood reverberate. Did police not exist on the swanky side of town?

The bouncer (one of Chan’s friends, the Thai kid who called himself Bam-Bam because people butchered his actual name) could barely stutter out, “Beer money,” when he saw them. And despite Jeongguk’s mortification at possibly being considered someone who engaged in bestiality, he couldn’t stop the grin spreading on his face when he felt Bam-Bam’s eyes on his back.

“Alright, boys.” Wheein had to holler to be heard over the heavy EDM. Jeongguk’s teeth were rattling in his skull. “We came, now we see, then we conquer-”

“Wheein, girl, don’t turn around just now,” Jimin interrupted.

So of course Wheein turned around.

“Holy shit, is that Hyejin?” Jeongguk narrowed his eyes. “Wheein, the two of you, you’re-”

“- Wearing the same outfit,” she whispered, her face drained of color. “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed.” She hid her face in her hands and Jeongguk put his arm around her, pulling her into his chest.

“Ah, fuck,” Hobi swore. Jeongguk looked up.

Ah, fuck indeed. Hyejin was walking over.

Surprisingly, she didn’t look annoyed or ready for a catfight. On the contrary, she looked... Flattered?

“Hey.” Wheein jerked at the sound of her voice. She turned around to look at the other girl, her eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

Jeongguk stomped on her foot, and she shut it immediately.

“I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m Hyejin.” Both Jimin and Hobi snorted, which they both covered up (albeit poorly) by coughing. “You know, from cheerleader tryouts? You’re Wheein, right? And Hoseok, and Jeongguk, and Jimin- love your outfits, by the way!”

Wheein looked like she might faint at any given instant, so Jeongguk stomped on her foot again. “Uh, I, er- yeah!” she said, her voice a little too high-pitched. “That’s me! I’m Wheein! Yep!”

Another awkward person came to Jeongguk’s mind, and he craned his neck over the crowd of students- partly because he didn’t want to die of secondhand embarrassment, but mostly because he wanted to see if Taehyung hadn’t chickened out.

Hyejin giggled. “I just wanted to say that you pull off that look really well.” Her hooded eyes trailed over Wheein. “I love your eyeliner, too- I can never get the tips right-”

And oh, fuck; because if Wheein hadn’t exploded of the proximity before, her internal organs were no doubt incinerated when Hyejin actually held her face in her hands and peered closer to inspect Wheein’s eyes.

“You have really pretty eyes,” Hyejin said quietly, and the boys took it as their cue to leave.

Jeongguk giggled once they were safely out of earshot- not that either Wheein or Hyejin seemed to notice anyone outside of their bubble. “Well, at least one of us is gonna get laid tonight.”

“Make that two.” Yoongi materialized suddenly, donning a stark white t-shirt and trousers, a gold band around his head and two feathery white wings sprouting from his back.

Yoongi, however, only seemed to see Jimin.

Jimin gave his boyfriend an aptly devilish grin and sauntered over, his hands clasped together as if in prayer. He leaned closer to Yoongi’s ear, but Jeongguk still heard him as clear as day when he said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”

Yoongi growled and wasted no time in yanking his boyfriend away, leaving the other two shellshocked in their wake.

“Wanna get drunk on spiked punch?” Jeongguk agreed wholeheartedly, and they pushed passed throngs of sweaty high school students over to the snack table (Jeongguk was almost sure they passed a girl in a Harley Quinn costume hardcore making out with one dressed as Catwoman- and that was the sort of wholesome content he wanted in his life).

Their costumes earned more than a few looks, most of them confused, but there were a few hostile-looking glances and even more predatory ones. Jeongguk pressed close to Hobi anyway.

They were slowly getting intoxicated on vodka ’n’ fruit juice, five feet apart because they weren’t gay (well, Jeongguk was, but Hobi was in the grey area where he made plenty of remarks about sucking Zayn Malik’s dick but also had fooled around with enough girls to change his name to Casanova, so).

That is, until the first girls came up. Lalisa Manoban, the Thai exchange student, as Harley Quinn, and her best friend Jennie as Catwoman.

“Love the costumes.” Jennie jut her hip out. “Wanna dance?”

Hobi nearly choked on his drink but managed to convey his wholehearted (and wholedicked, no doubt) agreement. When Lisa turned to Jeongguk, he managed a wan smile.

“Sorry, ladies. I-”

“He’s gay,” Hobi supplied helpfully. “But I’m not. I’m very, very straight. Sickeningly so.”

Lisa and Jennie shared a look before turning both of them turned to Hobi. “More of you for us then, big boy.” Lisa pat his chest. “C’mon, I love this song!”

Hobi gave Jeongguk an apologetic look when they pulled him out to the dance floor, but his expression changed when he realized he was sandwiched between two of the prettiest girls in their grade. Jeongguk snorted into his drink at his look of awe.

. . .

Jeongguk was to humming the lyrics to Alessia Cara’s Here when another girl came up to him, interrupting him right when he got to I’d rather be at home all by myself, not in this room.

“Hey.” She smiled, flashing a set of pearly white teeth. “Look, I’m gonna cut to the chase here- wanna dance and then fuck?”

“Sorry.” Jeongguk forced a smile on his face as he parroted what he’d been telling various girls for the greater part of the last hour, “but I’m gay. My friend isn’t, though, and I’m sure he’d be happy to grant your wishes.”

She blinked. “Where?”

Jeongguk turned to the makeshift dance-floor, where Hobi had at least five girls surrounding him. Apparently, boys dressed as slutty witches were the new fetish, take note. “That one.”

Her frown disappeared immediately. “Sweet! Thanks, bunny boy! Hope you get dick tonight!”

She patted Jeongguk’s bicep before darting off to join the gaggle of girls around Hobi. They made space for her easily in their pre-orgy foreplay, and she gave him a thumbs-up when her back was satisfactorily pressed up to Hobi’s front. Jeongguk reciprocated the gesture, but his smile dropped the moment she looked away.

When he saw another pair of vaguely female figures approaching him, he sighed. “I’m not sure if he can accommodate more, but you can go over to the guy in the witch costume-”

“Jeongguk?”

Jeongguk’s scowl dropped. “Hey, you two look good!”

Yongsun and her girlfriend Byulyi beamed back at him, bedecked in matching leotards printed with hearts and spades. Delicate crowns rested on their heads.

Jeongguk shook his head. “Queen of Hearts and Queen of Spades.”

“Rabbit.” Yongsun cooed at him. “We came over because you looked so sad and lonely.”

Jeongguk winced. “That obvious?”

“You looked like a kid who lost his mother at Wal-Mart,” Byulyi explained. “A very cute kid, though. Love the ears, they make you look like even more of a bunny than you already are.” She poked one of them, her eyes shining as it sprung back into place.

“And the stockings, too- where’d you get them?” Yongsun peered down at his feet. “Ooh, cute shoes!”

Namjoon and Seokjin (the Kings of Clubs and Diamonds) appeared a little while later, Namjoon doing a double take.

“Damn, Jeongguk; didn’t think you had it in you.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Jeongguk, and Seokjin promptly slapped him upside the head.

But then they got drunk, and a giddy Yongsun dragged her friends, albeit their protests, to dance. And despite it being rather funny to watch Seokjin and Byulyi immediately beginning to chicken dance to Nicki Minaj, and rather sad to see Namjoon’s flat ass trying to twerk, it got old after a while.

And Jeongguk was alone again.

He had just decided to leave, breaking stereotypes be damned, when a soft voice said, “J-Jeongguk?”

Holy shit.

Jeongguk had the biggest grin on his face at the sound of Taehyung’s voice, and seeing him in the flesh made him even giddier.

His mouth was agape, a faint blush on his cheeks, but his eyes were respectfully trained above the belt. “You look...” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Wow.”

Jeongguk laughed, his eyes settling on the dark cloak he’d pulled around himself. “What are you? Zorro?”

Taehyung pulled the cloak even tighter around his body, face flushing. “No, ah, you’ll think I’m a dweeb.” He backed away slowly.

Jeongguk pouted. “Oh, come on, Taehyung- you’re not naked under those robes, are you?” The tiny devil perched on Jeongguk’s shoulder- who looked a lot like Jimin, now that he came to think of it- added, not that you’d be complaining.

“No, but-”

“Surely it can’t be more embarrassing than this.” Jeongguk gestured to himself. Taehyung glanced at him before tearing his eyes away to focus at a point above his forehead, gulping.

The momentary distraction was enough for Jeongguk to push his hands away and yank the cloak open (it required embarrassingly little force, Taehyung having the upper body strength of a blade of grass). When Jeongguk saw the familiar red-and-gold striped tie, his eyes instinctively trailed upwards to Taehyung’s head. Taehyung flinched when he brushed his bangs back, and Jeongguk’s eyes fell on the lightning-bolt-shaped mark.

“Fifty points to Gryffindor.”

His eyes, which had been squeezed shut for this long, flew wide open. “You’re- you’re okay with this?”

Jeongguk gaped at him. “Are you kidding me? I love Harry Potter!”

“Ohmygod,” said Taehyung eloquently. “It’s my favorite book!”

They were halfway through discussing The Cursed Child (spoiler alert: both of them agreed it was shit) when something touched Jeongguk’s butt.

To be more specific, he someone squeezed it.

He wasn’t left in the dark for too long. “Damn, your ass is a wonderland, Jeon,” Choi Myungdae breathed into his ear.

Jeongguk turned around, not even feigning interest this time. He tried to push Myungdae away- but years of strenuous sports and being an all-round asshole meant that he didn’t budge an inch.

Unlike Taehyung, Myungdae didn’t bother being respectful with his staring. He stepped closer to Jeongguk, so close he could smell the alcohol on his breath. Jeongguk wrinkled his nose.

“C’mon, baby; why don’t we go upstairs?” He was dressed as an NFL player. How completely unoriginal.

Jeongguk wanted to barf. “No thanks, Myungdae-”

“Oh, playing hard to get? I like the feisty ones, they’re always better in bed-”

“He said no.”

Shit.

Jeongguk had completely forgotten about Taehyung standing right there. When Myungdae’s gaze shifted from him to Taehyung, his demeanor changed entirely. “What did you say, you little piece of shit?”

For Taehyung’s sake, Jeongguk prayed that he’d remain silent- he could deal with Myungdae being a creep, but if Taehyung got into the middle of it-

“I-I said,” Taehyung gulped, “he said no. And- and you should respect that.”

Kim Taehyung, you goddamn fool.

“Oh yeah?” By now they’d garnered the attention of several of the students around them- though Jeongguk realized with a sinking feeling that most of them were watching with interest. “And what’re you gonna do about it, faggot?”

It would’ve been interesting any other time, Myungdae’s use of the f-word, considering he was fondling Jeongguk’s arse moments prior. But this instance was far from interesting. Unless Taehyung was Korean Clark Kent under all his baggy clothing (somehow Jeongguk doubted it, considering his arms were no thicker than drumsticks), he’d get his ass pummeled to the ground- and not in a good way.

“I’m gonna beat your ass, Kim,” Myungdae snarled.

It was kind of impressive (and maybe hot, too. And stupid- God, so stupid), the way Taehyung held Myungdae’s steely gaze. “Y-yeah? I’d like to see you t-try.”

“Oh, you’re asking for it now.” Myungdae cracked his knuckles.

Taehyung’s eyes drifted to Jeongguk. Jeongguk shook his head, pleading him to back down.

“Hit me with your best shot.”

. . .

“In hindsight, maybe you should’ve asked him to hit you with his second-best shot.”

Taehyung groaned from his spot on the toilet seat. His head was tilted back to keep the blood from trickling down his face.

Jeongguk sighed, rifling through the contents of Chan’s bathroom cupboard in his search for a first-aid kit. Shampoo, face wash, an extra-large bottle of cream that he did not care to know the use of- and then his hand seized a small box. Bingo.

Jeongguk placed the box on the counter, taking out some ointment for bruises and a few cotton wads. Taehyung was morosely staring at the ceiling, and he felt a stab of pity for the older boy.

“Not gonna lie though, that was really brave.” His head snapped forward, eyes widened. The very next second, he winced when blood dripped into his agape mouth. “You standing up to Myungdae.”

His eyebrow quirked up. “Even if I nearly got a concussion?”

Jeongguk allowed himself a snort. “Especially because of that. Myungdae’s like six feet of pure rock-hard muscle, Tae. Not many people can take him in a fight.”

Taehyung hid his face, and Jeongguk held himself back with great difficulty from cooing at the blush that rose on his cheeks.

“Alright, make some space, coming through.” He pushed Taehyung’s legs close together, perching on his lap. Taehyung’s thighs were so bony they felt like a pair of monkey bars.

“W-what are you doing, J-Jeongguk?” he gasped, leaning back in his seat.

Jeongguk rolled his eyes. “I’m gonna get you cleaned up. You look like you got hit in the face with a Bludger.”

He blinked once, twice, then said, “Holy shit, you’re perfect,” in a tone that implied he hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

This time, Jeongguk was the one who was blushing.

He dabbed at the blood on Taehyung’s face, applying ointment around his nose. As far as Jeongguk could tell, it wasn’t broken- just one punch from Myungdae and Taehyung had keeled over like a blade of grass in a thunderstorm- but his skin would definitely bruise.

Jeongguk had been so focused on his work that he didn’t hear Taehyung muttering something under his breath until Jeongguk leaned closer to swab at Taehyung’s cheekbone.

“Dying kittens, naked grandmas, Kim Jong-Un.”

“Uh... Taehyung?” His eyes flew open and Jeongguk gave him a quizzical look. “What are you saying?”

“N-nothing!” he exclaimed, all too fast. Jeongguk narrowed his eyes, leaning closer with the intention of intimidating him by staring into his eyes.

And then he felt it.

His eyes wide, Jeongguk glanced down at Taehyung’s crotch. Sure enough, something very interesting was happening down there.

And it was a big something.

It was silent for a moment- Jeongguk out of sheer shock because holy shit Taehyung must’ve been a solid eight inches, maybe even nine; Taehyung in mortification.

And then he began apologizing profusely.

“I-I’m so sorry! I promise I didn’t mean to think of you that way, but you were so close and I’ve never really been in this position before and-”

“Taehyung, hey.” Jeongguk clamped his mouth shut with the hand that wasn’t holding the gauze. “It’s fine, really. I mean, it’s a natural reaction. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

Taehyung’s eyes were watery. “I just don’t want you to think that I only think of you like that,” he whispered.

Jeongguk struggled to keep his composure for Taehyung’s sake, although on the inside, his bitch of a mind was screaming ONLYONLYONLY SO HE THINKS OF ME IN OTHER WAYS. “Wanna get out of here?”

“But- but the party, and your friends-”

Jeongguk clamped his mouth shut again, purely to shut him up and definitely not because Taehyung’s lips were soft and nice to touch. “This party sucks balls, and my friends are all getting laid. Besides, I want to hear more about your theories on the Marauders. We never really got to discuss the obviously homoerotic tension between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.”

The goddamn sun was nothing compared to Kim Taehyung’s smile.

Once they were outside, however, the sheer idiocy of Jeongguk’s plan hit him. Here he was, a teenage boy dressed as a freaking discount Playboy bunny, outside in the middle of chilly October at nearly midnight. He shivered, the cold air hitting his bare limbs and making him rattle nearly down to his bones.

“Oh, fuck.” The next he knew, he was engulfed in a cozy warmth. Jeongguk looked down at the cloak around his shoulders that hung down to his ankles.

“But you-” he protested, staring at Taehyung’s thin white shirt that was no match for the temperature outside.

“I’ll live.” The tips of Taehyung’s ears and nose were already beginning to turn red, and visible puffs of air escaped him when he breathed.

“God, you dumb chivalrous Gryffindor; c’mere.” Jeongguk wrapped the cloak around both of them, their bodies pressed closed together now. Jeongguk’s bare thighs were pressing against Taehyung’s. He tried not to think about that too much and instead focused on the cold air that was now hitting his bare ankles. Still, better that than the risk of Taehyung developing hypothermia.

They hobbled awkwardly on their way to the little strip mall nearby, their hands brushing together every once in a while. The heat from Taehyung’s body and the flow of chatter they kept up on their way made it all the more bearable. It was still a relief to walk into the warm air conditioning of the twenty-four-hour diner.

There were only two other customers inside- two boys, younger than them by the looks of it- one was dressed as Sherlock Holmes, the other as-

“Malfoy,” Taehyung blurted.

The boy in the Slytherin robes looked up, his mouth agape. His eyes flicked to the scar on Taehyung’s forehead. “Potter.” He gave them a lazy grin. “Look, Minnie; it’s my arch nemesis.”

Sherlock Holmes (Minnie?) rolled his eyes. “He nearly took his own eye out with his own wand; I wouldn’t be too worried.”

Malfoy let out an affronted gasp. “Seungmin, you’re not supposed to say that-”

Jeongguk and Taehyung left them to their bickering, taking the booth across from them. Taehyung, ever the gentleman, insisted that Jeongguk keep the cloak to cover his modesty- and Taehyung, ever the klutz, tripped over thin air on his way to the opposite seat.

They ordered the greasiest, cheesiest burgers available and were nothing short of animalistic in the way they dug into their food. Jeongguk nicked some of Taehyung’s fries when he wasn’t looking, but he was pretty sure Taehyung had gotten to his chicken nuggets.

Jeongguk was nibbling on the edge of a stolen fry when a shadow fell over them. Malfoy was standing next to their table, fiddling with the edges of his robe. Holmes was nowhere in sight.

“You guys are an adorable couple,” Malfoy blurted, and Jeongguk nearly choked on his fry. Malfoy, oblivious to almost having caused Jeongguk’s death, prattled on. “If- if you don’t mind me asking, how did you- know? Know you liked each other?”

Jeongguk was still recovering from his near-asphyxiation. He expected Taehyung to have undergone a similar fate, but then-

“I-I’ve liked him for a… for a pretty long time. Since I first came to school, actually.” Jeongguk peered up at Taehyung, his mouth hanging open. The older boy had his gaze firmly focused on his lap. “He’s- Jeongguk, he’s perfect in every possible way. It’s hard to not like him.” Here he laughed. “He’s so gorgeous, inside and out, and when he’s with me…” Taehyung finally looked up, his eyes meeting Jeongguk’s. “When I’m with him, he makes me so happy.”

Taehyung looked away. Jeongguk kind of wanted to cry.

Malfoy was crying. “Hashtag relatable,” he sniffled, and Jeongguk was momentarily distracted by the crippling fear he felt for the future generation. “Fuck, I’m sorry.” He used the back of his hand to wipe his snot away. “You guys are so fucking cute and I’m so jealous.” He held up his booger-covered hand in a salute. “Hashtag goals.”

Taehyung didn’t look at Jeongguk afterwards; not when they were paying the bill, not when Holmes came out of the restroom and told Malfoy about the caricature of Lord Voldemort with a phallic nose graffitied on the door, not even when they walked outside and Jeongguk held out Taehyung’s cloak.

Jeongguk’s heart was beating out of his ribcage. His mind kept replaying what Taehyung had said in the diner. Taehyung had his arms crossed over his chest, refusing to join Jeongguk under the cloak.

He came to a halt under a streetlight. “Stop. Taehyung, please.” Taehyung stopped in his tracks, his back still turned towards Jeongguk. “Look at me.” Jeongguk closed the distance between them, reaching out and gingerly touching Taehyung’s jawline. “Did you mean what you said?”

Taehyung took a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry, I- I know I shouldn’t’ve sprung it on you like- like that. I-”

Jeongguk stepped closer until the tips of his ballet flats touched Taehyung’s feet. “Did you mean it, though?”

“Yeah, but what difference does it make-”

Jeongguk fisted the front of his shirt and yanked him down, slotting their lips together.

The night was cold but heat exploded from where Taehyung’s lips were on his to the bottom of Jeongguk’s toes. He angled his head and slid one of his hands around Taehyung’s shoulders, the other resting on the back of his neck. Hesitantly, he felt Taehyung grip his hips.

Jeongguk pulled back when Taehyung muttered something against his lips.

“Dying kittens, naked grandmas, Kim Jong-Un.”

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk gasped, trying to feign horror but he couldn’t stop himself from laughing. Taehyung looked sheepish but joined in eventually. His hands were still resting on Jeongguk’s hips, their bodies close. “For the record, you make me feel really happy, too.” He pulled the cloak around both of them. “I’m in crush with you.”

Taehyung smiled so wide Jeongguk’s heart hurt. “I- I’m in crush with you, too.”

This time, on the walk to their houses, when their hands brushed together, Jeongguk intertwined their fingers. Taehyung walked him right up to his doorstep.

“Good night, Jeongguk.” Taehyung reached up to hesitantly brush a strand of hair away from Jeongguk’s face. The younger leaned into his touch, his eyelids fluttering shut at his gentle caress.

“Good night, Tae.” Jeongguk couldn’t resist kissing him one last time.

Once inside, Jeongguk watched him through the curtains. Taehyung was still standing in the driveway, the ghost of a smile on his face. He touched his lips. “Yes!”

Smiling to himself, Jeongguk leaned against the door. He touched his own lips.

They still felt warm.