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Standing in the water, feet barely submerged in the ocean waves that stretched up onto the sand. Wasn’t he somewhere else just a moment ago? The gentle sounds of the waves lapping to shore seemed so distance but he was there at the beach, no where else. He stared at the sea, sight searing into the endless blue far beyond his understandings. Seagulls flew into view and yet he should have been able to hear them long before they came into view. No, this wasn’t the right place to be. He was somewhere else than here.
“Benrey?” He blinked and the scene vanished within the small second his eyelids closed and opened again. “Of course you’re back. What did I expect.” The voice came from behind his back. He may not have been on the beach anymore but now he was back where he was meant to be with the person he was meant to be with, Gordon. Benrey turned to face him but offered no explanation or any words in fact. He may have been back with the group physically but his mind was left behind questioning why there was a moment free from the walls they walked through. Everyone else focused on getting out for the most part giving Benrey more of a push to think about the sudden memories that rose from deep within him. He just lagged behind letting the others lead him.
Benrey really couldn’t understand why he was remembering the beach after his first ‘death.’ Yes, he remembered that trip. even recalling how Gordon brought food for the two to share, but why was he seeing those times as if he was there once again? Well, how could he not think about any times he hanged out with Gordon after the two were reunited just before the Resonance Cascade occurred. Benrey was encouraged even more when he was treated like a stranger. He had to remember the times since Gordon apparently forgot.
Did Gordon forget? Was he just purposefully treating Benrey like a stranger? Could have been thanks to his powers that he used more freely than before, especially his non eternal deaths. Gordon must have just been intimidated by everything going on and by Benrey.
“Hey! Watch where you’re-“ the shouting was caught off, no longer reaching far enough to catch Benrey. In his haze he didn’t see everyone else spread out, exploring the other ways to go first leaving Benrey to continue on his path right into danger. Now he was dead once again thanks to a trip wire. It was only a matter of time before he died again during the circumstances.
This wouldn’t be the last time he died but he did hope it would be the last time the beach clogged up his mind. He couldn’t keep trudging through this, he’d die much more often than he really would have wanted to. It wouldn’t be simple to ignore though, especially when his death was met with the beach once again, this time on the dry sand with the making of a sand castle in front of Benrey. Gordon and him started the castle together but Gordon has stopped to return to their stuff wanting to sit for a moment and munch on some snacks. It was nice and warm and peaceful and just everything that Black Mesa wasn’t even if Benrey could find some good during these trying times. He almost didn’t want to go back but just like last time the beach return to the form of the walls.
Now back, Benrey really had to ignore his feelings. He had to accept that Gordon broke their relationship and now didn’t feel the same way no matter what Benrey tried to say. He had to move on, giving Gordon the same energy he received. Maybe after they got out he could remind Gordon of the days just like the one spent at their picnic at the beach.