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Cold. It’s the first thing he notices. He can feel it.
It’s December, his memory provides, it’s normal that it’s cold at this time. He’s outside, though. This isn’t normal. Why is he outside?
Maybe he’s dreaming. Yeah this must be a dream, right? But It’s... confusing.
It is dark, that’s the second thing he notices. Night, presumably. But it could also not be too late, it’s winter after all, the sun sets pretty early this time of the year. But is this even real?
It’s cold, he thinks again. Too cold. A cold pretty impossible to ignore, that type of cold that seeps into your bones and crawls up your entire body until all you know is to shiver. Or even colder than that.
Why is it so cold?
It’s also that cold that makes you tired, exhausted even, but you know it’s wrong. Falling asleep in the utmost cold is never a good idea because the worst could happen. When it’s this cold, as soon as you open your mouth a fog of steam comes out. But there’s no steam here. What’s this kind of cold?
Oh. He’s lying down.
There’s snow around him. Why lying down on the snow, though? And how did he get here?
This must be a dream, or a nightmare for that matter. He doesn’t remember getting here, he doesn’t remember any of this.
His vision finally gets accustomed to the surroundings and it isn’t as dark now. The moon is high in the sky and its white light filters through tree branches reflecting on the candid snow, creating what could be a suggestive and beautiful scenery in another moment, wasn’t he feeling so lost and confused. How is he here? Did he walk into the woods and tripped maybe knocking his head? But why?
The sky is pretty. It’s clear, but it’s still really cold. Too cold.
There is no way he walked into the woods in the middle of the night, with this cold and not even wearing a jacket, Jimin would never allow him.
Jimin.
A shiver.
Oh God, where is Jimin? Why isn’t he waking up already?
He sits up. This looks, feels, too real for it to be a dream or a nightmare. And yet he’s not scared, or worried, or sad, or anything. He doesn’t feel anything besides the cold, he’s almost void.
No one seems to be around, which is bizarre. He’s alone. As he looks around he notices it, where his head was lying on the ground, the snow is red. A beautiful crimson red making the ice flakes of the snow sparkle like rubins under the cold light of the moon that reflects in Taehyung’s eyes.
The snow is completely damp there, turned almost into a mush. He has no doubt to what the red substance is, the strong smell of it being almost nauseating. It’s the mixture of water and blood.
Whose blood though? He was literally lying on top of it just a few seconds ago but if it’s his blood then shouldn't he feel something? Some kind of pain or maybe dizzy?
He touches the side of his head, damp hair of course, but no trace of a wound. He does the same to the other side, same result.
He frowns.
What is going on?
He’s not injured, he figures, after a short self check up and it makes sense considering he’s not in pain. Then where is this blood coming from?
Right in that moment the sound of muffled bells can be heard in the distance, breaking the loud silence that was surrounding Taehyung. It rings as an alarm in his ears, and in his mind too, loud enough to wake him up from this apparent daze. His eyes widen with realization. He knows where he is, and he knows why he’s there.
But it can’t be.
This is not a dream. And now he’s scared.
He should not be here. He should not be here, at all. He was only supposed to go out and take some fresh air trying to calm himself down before the big day.
He should be at his wedding.
The realization hits him so hard his head starts pounding.
They’re waiting for him, they all must be waiting for him. How long has he been gone? It wasn’t this dark when he went out, the day was just staring, coming to life with the first lights of the dawn. It gives him a hint of how long it has been.
The bells ring four times and then change their tone. Four in the morning?
He stands and rushes towards the always more feeble sound of bells still playing in the distance. He’s running but it feels weird, like he’s not actually where he is or better, he’s only there physically. His mind is somewhere else, following the image of a man projected into the realms of his memories. It’s Jimin, it’s always Jimin.
But his face is unclear, blurred almost, like out of focus.
He panics.
He can’t stop to ask himself what it means, but he’s scared. Not for him, but for the love of his life. What will happen now?
It’s then that he remembers what happened. It’s not a clear memory but he knows he walked out of his room because he couldn’t sleep, he was not sharing it with his fiance because they couldn't see each other before the wedding. He walked out of the house and he must've not noticed how far he went because he was not paying attention to it, too focused on trying to memorize the vows to the best of his abilities, hoping not to panic and mess up everything in the end.
As he was preaching out loud the promises meant for Jimin to hear, his poor hearing didn't notice someone looking at him from behind a tree. And when the sting happened on his neck it was too late for him to react. It all was too fast for him to even catch his breath and he fell unconscious.
The pain on his neck is gone. And there is no wound, but the blood on the snow he saw a few seconds ago reminds him that it happened and that indeed, it was not a dream.
Someone turned him into a vampire.
He’s heard stories about it, according to local folk tales these creatures roam around this land looking for prey that unfortunately stumble on their way. It’s what makes this little village so characteristic. But Taehyung would’ve never thought those stories had truth in them. And that was a mistake.
He’s approaching the same village now. The village Jimin chose around a year ago to live what he said was going to be the most beautiful and memorable day of their lives. They had been waiting for this day since college years, when they first met so randomly in a store and could tell the person they had been in front of was going to be the one. They had felt it, sparkles and all the rest.
It doesn't occur to Taehyung how short it took him to run up from the middle of the woods to here and how his breathing has not even laboured whatsoever. His mind too clouded with dread.
He doesn’t stop there, he reaches up to where he knows the other should be.
It’s an old characteristic european house, now used as a venue for celebrations. It’s there Jimin and Taehyung chose to celebrate their wedding. It reminded them of the cozy life they could experience every day with one another, the promise that they wouldn’t need anything more than that. Ironically now, it’s there where he finds Jimin.
There is no need for him to get inside, he can hear loud and clear from where he’s standing on the bridge right outside the house. The lights are off and only one room is bright.
He knows that’s where Jimin is because he can see him through the window, he knows it’s his fiance because he can hear him cry.
He’s not just crying, he’s sobbing, he’s devastated. He sounds desperate but Taehyung has never heard him cry like this, not even after he buried his childhood pet and couldn't sleep properly for a whole month. His sobs now sound hoarse, exhausted, like that’s all he’s been doing for a long long time. Every new sob rips a piece of Taehyung’s heart. Every new sob kills him a little bit more.
He was waiting for him, they all were waiting for him.
But he knows he cannot go inside, the strong sting in his throat making it very clear that it cannot happen any longer.
He won’t ever be able to be with them, with Jimin. Ever.
A new sob can be heard, and another piece of Taehyung falls to the ground. Lost in the cold.
They were supposed to be happy for eternity, probably dancing around this time to the notes of some cheesy song that Jimin loves so much. They were supposed to keep dancing, to be together forever and always. But as Taehyung’s soul is falling to pieces so is that future, that dream.
“Maybe in another life, Jimin.” He promises, “I’m sorry.”
In another life their hearts will be hunting for each other, they will be able to find themselves again and merge as a sole. But even Taehyung knows that’s not more than a beautiful dream, a happy ever after they were robbed of. Held between heaven and hell, he has no escape from this.
It’s still cold, and he’s cold. If this is a type of cold he can feel because of his newfound condition then he’s sure Jimin can feel it too, for one. Not for the same reason but because their souls are connected and they always will be, but that doesn't make him feel any better.
He can’t leave, he feels stuck where he’s standing. Feet sticking to the ground and eyes looking at Jimin who is still desperately crying, calling for his name. Taehyung’s heart shrinks with his partner's sorrow. He sees him surrounded by people, vanely trying to console him, they turn their faces every once in a while but he can’t seem to understand who they are. He can’t recognize them or maybe his tunnel vision is not allowing him to decipher their voices or their shapes. He can only focus on Jimin, always him.
Sweet, beautiful Jimin.
The love of his life, always and forever.
He aches with the thought this is the last time he’ll be seeing him, but what he has been given can’t be forgotten, or forsaken. He’s a monster now and will remain as such.
He’s not allowed anywhere near people, let alone his most important one.
Not a choice, a reality.
As if Jimin will be able to hear him back, Taehyung opens his mouth to speak again.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I love you, Jimin.”
His words getting lost in a cold night, unheard.
“I’m yours completely. Yours, as we go over.”