Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I stare across the table towards Keegan, his pale blue orbs looking directly back into mine. We are currently sipping on coffee, awaiting orders of what to do next. He is being persistent as always – wanting to know more about Ghost. Wanting to know more about Soap and Price, my partners in crime, as he calls him. I never speak of them, though. It’s too painful, and it feels like a life-time ago that I was with them. Fighting alongside them for freedom and for the rights of the good. That was in the past. This was now. There was a new fight brewing and I needed to be ready. I glance back at him when I hear his mug hit the table, “Can you at least tell me how you survived?” His voice is low, and scratchy. Even when he yells, it sounds like a loud whisper. I love his voice, almost as much as I loved John’s.

More gently than he did, I set my cup down. I enfold my hands on top of the table, “By being a dedicated and trained soldier. I was trained by the best any Military could offer, and I’ve eluded death more than once. I guess it’s just my luck.”

He grunts, letting me know that answer wasn’t good enough. He hated not knowing everything, but I am a closed book. I smile lightly, my mask only pulled up enough to reveal my lips so I’m able to drink. “Wipe that smug look off of your face, Alias.” He flicks a crumpled paper my way.

“Well, stop asking questions you’re not getting the answer to.”

“You could be a little bit more honest with me,” he stretches his hand across the table, but I retract my hand to my side.

“You’re not even honest enough to show your face, Keegan.”

Keegan looks at me, knowing that statement meant ‘checkmate’. Just as he sighed, Merrick walks in – Hesh by his side. He eyes both of us, Keegan making it look like he was reaching for the last doughnut. “As your commanding officer, Keegan, I order you to give me that doughnut,” Merrick jests.

I watch him as he rolls of his mask slowly, revealing the light stubble around his rough lips. He nearly stuffs all of the glazed doughnut into his mouth. He ends up coughing half of it out, and gets laughed at by all three of us. “Too much for you, Keegan?” Hesh chuckles.

“You’d know all about how to lose a gag-reflex, Hesh. Long before I would,” Keegan coughs out after getting a sip of his coffee.

Merrick and I laugh even louder as Hesh grumbles angrily under his breath. Merrick ushers Hesh out of the room, something about late for something buried underneath his laughter. I have one final giggle before I noticed Keegan’s stare. Blushing slightly as I pull my mask down, “You two in one room is too much.”

He shook his head as he stood, “Come on, before they come back.” We walk out of the kitchen and into the living room area. Standing in front of the window, an entire wall long, we stare out into the night sky. Here, we can see three times as many stars as people can in the city. It’s gorgeous out here, minus the fact that people are trying to kill us.

I stare blankly into the shinning night sky, “Nothing compares to the beauty of a full-lit night sky.”

Keegan glances at me, “You’re such a woman.”

“I would hope so, since I’ve been told I’m a woman since birth.” I lightly chortle. He takes a side-step closer to me, but I blatantly ignore it. Keegan may be cold-hearted, but he has a soft-spot for me. It’s unclear of why he has, but it happened. Neither of us has seen each other’s face, besides our lips. I can’t get close to anyone like that again, not after losing John. It would hurt way too much to lose someone else like that. I zone off just enough to not realize his arm around my shoulders. As a sniper, he could hear anyone coming from a mile away. I let my eyes trail up his chest to his masked face, which is facing away from me. “I should be heading to bed,” I pull away from him, “you should be too.”

He turned towards me, his shadow casting over my small stature. “Sure,” I see his eyes glance away, “sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t,” I lightly place my hand on his shoulder, “I’m just tired. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He was quiet for a second, and I figured that meant it was time to go. As I turned to walk away, I felt his arms lightly lock around me. Embracing me into a hug, something he’s never done before. Confused, I lightly wrap an arm around him. The blood underneath my skin heating up – like it did when John hugged me. My heart like a humming-bird and my stomach like a butterfly’s wired cage. Rejecting the feeling that was consuming me, I push him away. He gave me a strange look, and I realize I pushed him a little too hard. “You could’ve just said let go.”

“I’m sorry, Keegan,” My mind is frazzled, “I didn’t mean it in a negative way.”

“Because being shoved away isn’t negative.”

“I’m so—“

“Just save it, Alias. I won’t hug you, and next time I make you uncomfortable – just tell me, alright?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” I walk around him, “you just don’t understand.”

“No one understands you. We’ve all let you in, and you won’t let us in.”

I stare down at the ground, “Goodnight, Keegan.”

“Goodnight, Cassidy.”

I walk away towards my room, the hollow feeling I always feel returning. Being toppled by guilt for betraying John. He may have passed on, but I gave my heart to him when I let him slide the ring on my finger. The tip of my right index finger brushes over my blue and white plated engagement ring, concealed by my glove. I glance over my shoulder, Keegan’s hands are in his pockets and he’s still facing towards the window. Now culpability of pushing him away bites at my inner-being. I’m being haunted by my old life, and it’s interfering with me moving on. John was my love, the person I feel deeply in love with. But… Keegan was making his way in. Whether I liked it or not.

Chapter Text

(If you’re unfamiliar with my writings, pure italic writing means a dream)

I’m sitting dead center between Soap and Ghost, they’re arguing about who’s final kill that was on Ghost Recon. Dunn and Roach are sitting at my feet, also arguing. Not about whose final kill that was, but about how it was the other’s fault that they lost. I rest my head on Soap’s shoulder, causing him to look down at me. His lips press lightly against the top of my head as he kisses me, “As I was saying, Ghost – I got the kill with my sniper.”

“Yeah, because you’re a bloody hard-scoper,” Ghost growls.

“Why are you two mad? You guys won!” Roach’s bottom lip forms into a pout as he crosses his arm.

“I know, you guys should be celebrating.” I watch Dunn as he stands up and stomps off.

“Well, since I lost here,” Roach now stands, “I bet I can beat Ghost to the snickerdoodles!”

“In your dreams!” In an instant, Soap and I are alone.

His big arms coil around me, pulling me in towards his chest. Where I felt safe, and secure. The only place I knew I’d never be hurt. He was my protector, my lover and my boyfriend. I couldn’t get any happier or have a better life. “How are you feeling today, darling?”

“Well rested,” I mischievous smile places across my face, “after last night.”

I watch as the same naughty smirk forms, “It was tiring, I suppose.”

“It lasted a couple hours,” I bite my lower lip.

I hear his deep chuckle, “Aye that it did.”

Pulling myself up his body a little, I’m now making eye contact with him. I press my lips lightly against his, and his arms lock around me tighter. I see the guys come in, but I don’t stop. Shutting my eyes, to make it look like I never saw them come in. Something is different; I don’t remember it going like this. They’re not mocking us. Soap’s lips go cold. I open my eyes, and Soap’s face has blood on it. The exact same pattern as when he died. My throat belts out a loud scream as I shove him away. Shooting my eyes around the room, and I see it all again. My brothers, the way they were the last time I ever saw them. Covered in blood, cold and dead. Simon isn’t wearing his mask, because I have it now. I hear groaning at the foot of the couch, and I crawl over slowly. “S-Soap?”

His hands grip onto my shoulders tight, hurting me in the process. I let out a loud yelp. His chilling icy stare sees through me, his skin pale and losing its color. “I love you… I always will…” Just like when he died.

“No, Soap. I won’t lose you again,” No matter how much it hurts for me to move my arms, I grip his face. “Just stay with me.”

“Move on.”

“W-what? What do you mean move on?”

“I’m gone, you know that. What are you waiting around for?”

“No, you’re not! You’re still here! You’re in the living room right now!” I scream at him, tears pouring down my cheeks.

“I know you loved me and I loved you, but it’s time to let me go.” I feel his limp hand wrap around my ring finger.

“No! Stop talking like that!” There’s gravel in my voice. I wrap my arms around his shoulders as tight as I can, and he goes limp. Completely limp. I feel us roll off of the couch, and he lands on me. I keep screeching at him to wake up and to get off of me. My throat is so raw, and my body aches like the day Soap died. My wails turn into whispers, and my tears turn into nothing.

I’m being shaken as my eyes tear open. I’m drenched in freezing sweat, but my body feels like a furnace. All I see in the blur of my tears is Ghost’s balaclava. I just had a horrible nightmare, I’m still on base. I wrap my arms around him tightly, burying my face into his chest. I begin to sob uncontrollably, letting him pull me into a snugger encirclement. I feel him pull me back so he can lean against the wall, which he usually does. His fingers runs through my hair, I don’t remember Ghost ever doing that. I force my eyes open, Ghost’s completely shaves his chest. Why is it lightly hairy all of a sudden? I gradually look up, and that’s not Ghost’s pattern. That’s Keegan’s pattern. That was a nightmare. A nightmare of my reality. My arm wipes my tears away, as I try to pull away from him. I’m still tired, so I’m weak. “It’s alright, Alias,” his voice even more rough due to fatigue, “I got you.” I don’t want him to have me. I don’t want him in my room. Yet, I do want him in here and to hold me. After last night, I don’t push him away. Instead, I curl up to him – pulling my blanket with me. After pulling some of the blanket over his own shaking body, he looks down at me. “Do you want to talk about it?”

My throat is so dry, “No,” I managed to croak out.

He grabs my bottle of water of the table.  Instead of him offering it to my hand, he puts it to my lips. I look up at him, and he’s looking back at me. Like a scared animal would eat food from your hand, I gently sip. Once I stop, it’s like he knows, and he sets it back on the table. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” I don’t look at him, “just a bad dream. Don’t worry about it, Keegan.”

We sit there in silence for a good long while. All I hear is light breathing, and I close my eyes to picture Soap. I can hazily make out his features, his biceps, his chest and his smell. No matter what we were doing that day, he always wore the same cologne. I was yanked from my illusions when being pulled onto the bed. My face is against his chest, his arm pulling the blanket to cover me up. I wanted to tell him to get out, but I loved the way it felt as he held me.  The worst part was, I wasn’t picturing Soap. I wasn’t trying to imagine anything – it was just Keegan. “If you ever want to talk about it, I’m right here.”

I nod lightly as I began to doze off.

-Morning-

When my eyes finally creak open, and the first thing I’m greeted to is Keegan’s light snoring. I always thought he was loud snorer. I wake him as soon as I sit up, and he yawns. I have no clue what to say, but he does. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” I rub my eyes. It just dawned on me; I’m not wearing my mask. He finally wipes the sleep from his eyes, and he’s staring at me. I cover the left side of my face, and jerk my body to turn around. The raised scar on the left side of my cheek, making half of the ‘Joker’ smile decorates my face, all the way up to my cheek. I got during WWIII, and I feel ugly because of it. The bed moves as Keegan comes closer to me. He pulls me to face him, and my hands continue to cover my cheek.

Keegan pulls my hand away from my cheek, “You’re beautiful. Even with this scar.”

My eyes finally shoot up to his own, “Thank you.” I see him rolling up his mask, to show his lips. I crawl out of bed, stuffing my hair into a messy pony like every morning. “Let’s go get some breakfast, yeah?”

He stands up out of my bed, and solemnly nods. He watches me slip my untied boots on while he rolls down his mask. I yank my mask down, no one has ever seen below my bottom lip. That’s why no one knew about the scar. Beside Elias, but he swore he’d never speak of it. Merrick has already made breakfast, just like every morning. Logan sits across from me at the table, his black hair messy from sleep. “Are you awake yet, baby-bro?” Hesh teases as he sits next to him.

“Bite me,” Logan’s voice is less harsh than the rest of men.

Merrick sets down a stack of pancakes, while taking a seat himself. He looks directly at me, “Holy shit, Alias. You look terrible.”

“How can you even… I have a mask on, you moron.” I snap.

“Because of your attitude, you just bitched yourself out of seconds.”

“I’m not even hungry,” I push my plate away.

“TOTALLY MINE!” Logan goes to stab my pancakes, but Keegan pulls the plate towards him. His fork clanks against the metal table.

“For one, it’s a glass plate, dumbass. For two, Alias needs to eat.”

“But she doesn’t want it, she forfeits her food.”

Keegan pushes the plate in front of me, “Eat, please.”

“I don’t want it,” I stand from the table, “Logan can have it.”

“Alias…”

I leave the room to be alone for the time being, I curl up at the corner of the couch. My subconscious has never been so active in dreams about John. I usually hear what I want to hear, not what I know is the truth. I want my Soap back, and my brothers. I want my daddy back and my uncle. My tears roll down my cheeks, and I slide my engagement ring out of my pocket. I marvel at it, and just wish it was the day Soap slid it on. I hear shuffling behind me, and I see Hesh, Logan, Keegan, Merrick and Elias all trying to hide behind one corner. Pushing each other, saying they were first. I sigh heavily, “What do you want now?”

They all topple over one another and lay on the floor for a moment. Murmuring things about how they were just walking this way to get something, or that this was the way to their room. Keegan pushes Logan off of him, and dusts himself off. “I got worried when you stormed off without eating.”

Elias takes a seat next to me; Keegan sits on the other side of me. Logan, Merrick and Hesh all sit on the floor. “I feel like Mother Goose…”

“Tell us a story, then.” Hesh has never been more obvious, “Like… about… a past…”

“I think what my idiot brother is trying to say is you’ve been with us for a year. You haven’t told us anything. What are you hiding?” Logan is even blunter.

“Damn it, Logan. You don’t just ask people what they’re hiding.” Merrick lands a good smack on the back of his head.

I throw my head back as I sigh, “I’ll give you a summary.”

They all scoot closer, “Only if you want to, of course.” Elias tries to hide his giddiness.

“It started in two-thousand-eleven. I was placed in my first unit; I was under the command of my Uncle Price. My father could no longer work the field due to a leg injury in nineteen- ninety-six. There I met three of the greatest men I’ve ever known, excluding you guys, of course. Lieutenant Garth ‘Gaz’ Ravensdale, Staff Sergeant Gerald Griggs and…” I linger off, and I can feel Keegan place a hand on my shoulder. Letting me know if I wanted to stop, I could. “Sergeant John ‘Soap’ MacTavish… Well, war takes lives. Gaz and Griggs died on the bridge, while we were going after Zakhaev. Soap and I thought Price died, but he didn’t. In two-thousand-sixteen, I was a Lieutenant. Soap was a Captain by now. Two more great men came into my life Lieutenant Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley and Sergeant Gary ‘Roach’ Sanderson.”

“That’s why you didn’t like Riley at first, he reminded you of Ghost.” Hesh pieced together, all on his own. I’m secretly proud.

“He’s the owner of the mask you wear, right?” Merrick is still eating an apple.

I nod, “Shepherd killed them both. For no reason, just to look like a hero. Thus, also creating World War three. Price, Soap and I were disavowed. As you know. We survived… Until we tried assassinating Makarov. Soap was stabbed in the chest by Shepherd, and he pulled it out to save Price. He used it like a throwing knife and got the fucker right in the eye. We were blown out of a building, and Soap was crushed under debris. The wound opened, created another wound and he died of blood loss. Right in front of me, I heard his last words. Finally, we killed Makarov and Price went missing. I don’t know if he died or not. My father was caught helping us and was executed for treason. Because of spiteful, evil men – in the blink of an eye I lost all my brothers. I lost my father. I lost my uncle. I lost… my fiancé… Just like dust in the wind, their lives blew away. But, just like the desert – I still remain.”

“If you don’t mind me asking… which one was the fiancé?” Logan was so quiet.

“The badass who pulled the knife out,” Merrick threw the core to his apple away, “so obvious.”

They looked to me, and I nodded. “Soap had proposed to me a little bit before WWIII. We were to be married December of two-thousand-seventeen… but he died October of that year.” I pull out my engagement ring, “Its white and blue, just like the Scottish flag…”

Nobody says anything, and I stand up. I just walk out of the room to let that all sink in. Maybe Keegan will understand everything I said now. Walking into the living room area, I set my hand against the glass. I didn’t get to be alone long, but this time it was just Keegan. He stands next to me, “I understand the way you acted last night,” he looks at me, “You haven’t let go of him yet.”

I shake my head, “It’s been four years, I know. I try to let go, but I can’t. I just want you to know, it’s not you.”

“Is it because he’s more ‘badass’ than me?” He mocks the tone Merrick had said it in.

“Not really,” I laugh slightly, “You actually share some traits.”

“Like?”

“You’re both snipers. I met you both at the rank of Sergeant.”

“Ooo, we’re just twins.”

“You’re American and he was Scottish.”

Keegan chuckles lightly, turning his body towards me. “Just to let you know, even with your scar – you’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Also the smartest and kindest…”

I blush slightly, and I feel his hand hold the left side of my face. My face begins to heat up slightly, “Thank you…”

“The only one to make me act like… something other than a soldier…” He moves closer to me, my heartbeat picking up rapidly. His other hand places on my waist – the butterflies in my stomach start. I hear something get knocked over in the next room, and I jump back a good five feet. Logan comes in, and eyes us. He just walks over to the table, picks up a book and backs out of the room. Our eyes make contact, and I turn away from him. I quickly jog back to my room, shutting the door behind me. My whole body is shaking, and I feel horrible. I was lusting for him to move closer, to put his hands on me. God, I should be ashamed. Yet, I didn’t. I shouldn’t feel like this for Keegan. My heart said different, my stomach said different and so did my body. I was forced to sit down, my heart didn’t decline and my stomach never stopped flipping. Now, all my brain was filled with was Keegan – running his hands all over me. Touching me in places that he shouldn’t, and my mind just kept going. The direst part was… I liked it. 

Chapter Text

It was late at night, and Logan was in my room. Sitting backwards in my computer chair, and we’re just hanging out like normal. Logan reminded me a lot of Roach – that’s why I bonded with him more quickly than everyone else. He’s the youngest; he’s only twenty-five. He steals the cookies I make just as swiftly as Roach – but he doesn’t get as far with them. Hesh can keep up with him. It’s an awkward silence, because we can hear Keegan and Hesh yelling at each other. We’re not sure about what, but all we can make out of it is they were betting on some kind of sport and one of them wasn’t paying. His chocolate brown eyes scanning across the floor, twisting back and forth slowly. I was lying back on my bed, tossing a tennis-ball up and down. “So, who do you think is going to win the argument? I got bets goin’.” Logan jokingly says, poking fun at their argument.

“I got fifty on Keegan – he’s a lot bigger than Hesh,” I lightly smile to myself. I keep thinking about Keegan in ways I shouldn’t. I caught him in his boxers, with Logan and Merrick. We were going to paint Hesh’s nails since he passed out on the couch, and the nail polish was in the bathroom. He didn’t lock the bathroom and he hadn’t put his night pants on. Ever since then, I’ve been picturing him – standing there. His skin still went from the shower, his thick biceps and broad chest. Mirrors all steamed up, but he still had his mask on. I guess he puts that on before anything, because every time he showers – mask is always wet for a while afterwards.

“All bets are final!” Logan calls out a little too loudly. A few minutes later, Merrick slips his way into my room.

“I don’t know where the war is worse, in here or out there.” He rubs the back of his neck, “They heard your remark, Logan. They didn’t think it was as funny as I thought it was.”

“Hesh is going to kick my ass later, isn’t he?”

“Probably.”

All three of us sat uncomfortable in my room, Elias was out like a light in his room. He’s learned how to ignore their bickering. Like an old married couple, he says. It was finally broken by, “HAVE FUN SLEEPING ON THE COUCH, YOU ASSHOLE!” Hesh hollers, followed by the slam of a door.

Hesh refused to share a room with Logan and picked Keegan instead. Bad mistake, I guess. Elias and I have our own rooms. Logan stands up, “I think it’s time for bed, Merrick. How about you?”

“Alright, but this time you sleep in your bed.” Merrick mocks as he walks out.

“You’re such an asshole! I don’t share with you!”

All alone, I sit in my room. I’m curious if Keegan actually went to the couch, or if he’s picking the lock. I let my hand rest on the cold handle, twisting slowly. The door creaks open, catching Keegan’s attention. He’s on one knee, and trying to pick the lock to the bedroom door. “Uh… hey.” He mutters.

We haven’t spoken since he put his hands on me, and that was three days ago. I keep telling myself the feelings for him will go away, if I just think of Soap. If I just remember the way it felt when he kissed me, when he held me… when he loved me. When he called me his love, his darling, his fiancé – the person he loved. All I try to do is think of Soap, but it doesn’t work. Trying to picture him instead of Keegan no longer holds out either. Price was right; their faces do fade from our memory. The only thing I have no trouble picturing is Soap’s eyes, their eyes are exactly the same. I glance up from the floor, “Hey…”

Keegan stands up, and he awkwardly rocks back and forth. His throat clears, “May I sit in your room until Hesh calms down? I’m not dumb enough to sleep on the couch; I know what you guys do.”

I slowly nod, stepping back from the doorway. He came in and sat down on the edge of my bed. I lay back down how I was before, “So… How have you been?”

“Disappointed since someone I consider a close friend won’t talk to me,” It’s kind of hard to hear him, since he’s facing away from me.

“I’m sorry…”

He scoots close to me; he’s sitting in front of my hips on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry for touching you and making you uncomfortable.”

Sitting up next to him, I sigh. “It wasn’t anything you did,” I don’t dare look at him; “it’s something I’m doing.”

“What exactly are you doing?”

I reach to my journal, and pull out one picture. I show him it; it’s Soap – standing in full wet-gear. It was the day we took the Russian Oil-Rigs with Ghost and Roach. His eyes scanned over the picture in confusion. “I won’t let him go. No matter how much I try, I always feel guilty if I think of someone else like that.” I put the picture away, “It’s not fair to you.”

“Guilty?”

I look down at my lap, “When I… think of you like how I used to think of John… When my mind brings in thoughts it shouldn’t.”

Keegan turns his body towards me, “I understand,” he then stands, “I’ll leave you alone.”

Before he grabs the handle, I grab his arm. He looks back at me and I pull him back to where we were sitting. “I don’t want that at all.”

His hands place on my thighs, “I don’t want to make you feel like that.”

“But I don’t want to push you away.”

Keegan’s eyes rest on the picture of Soap, Ghost, Roach, Sandman and I on my desk. “He’s better looking than me anyway.”

I frown slightly, while pulling off my mask. Placing it down on the table, I look back at him. “I wouldn’t know.”

“Yeah… it doesn’t matter.”

It’s quiet for a moment, and I finally get up the courage to do something I’ve wanted to. I grab the ends of his mask, and he’s watching me. I start pulling up, and he wraps his hands around my wrists. I think he’s trying to tell me not to, but I don’t listen. Pulling up slowly, I see his lips. A little more, and I can see his nose. With one quick pull, I have his mask in between my fingers. I stare at him, and I never pictured him like this. His hair is raven colored, and his eyebrows are well-kept. He has some scars on his face, not as noticeable as mine is. His facial hair is light; it’s decorated across from the top of his lip and down to his chin. “Keegan…”

“I know,” he pulls his face out of my hands; “I’m not the most attractive person.”

“No, that’s not it.” I put his mask by mine, “You’re actually… really… attractive. I never thought of you looking like this.”

“Oh, so was I supposed to be ugly?”

“No, nothing like that.”

Keegan puts his hands on either side of me, but he’s not looking at me. I feel my body being leaned on, and before I know it – I’m in between my bed and him. His eyes stared directly into mine, and my body started shaking. Not from fear, but from desire. I pull his face closer to my own, my heart going a hundred miles per hour. He placed his lips against mine, and it felt amazing. It shouldn’t, but it did. His hands began to prod at my body, running up and down my waist. I wrap my left leg around his torso, and he pushes me towards the top of the bed. He wasn’t supporting himself anymore, I was completely pinned. The room felt like it was no longer there, and it was just us. Our kiss heated up even more when I felt his tongue slip into my mouth. I felt so dirty, but I loved every second of it. Before it went too far, he pulled away.  We just lay there, him enfolding me into his arms. We didn’t say another word; we just let our eyes say what we needed to say.

-Two Months Pass-

The morning sun seeps into my room through my blinds, landing directly on my closed eyes. Squinting my eyes, I shield the sun away with my arm. Keegan’s arm is wrapped around my torso and one of his legs is over mine. I lay my hand on top of his, and he stirs slightly in his sleep. His lips brush against my cheek as he kisses me. “Good morning,” his voice still groggy from sleep.

“Good morning,” I roll over to face him. He has this almost loving smile on his face as he looks at me. I return a light smile, to be polite. His fingers run through my hair as his other hand grabs mine. I kiss his forehead, “Shouldn’t we get to breakfast?”

“Not unless you want ridicule first thing in the morning,” he sits up, rubbing his eyes.

“Ridicule?”

“They obviously know I didn’t sleep on the couch, or in my own room. I didn’t sleep in with Merrick, Elias or Logan. Where do you think they think I’m at?”

While I sit up, I try to tame my wild morning hair. “I completely forgot about that.”

“So, we can just sit in here for a little while. Until we have to go out there.”

“There’s not going to be any food left… Logan is a fatass…”

“I’ll make us something,” he pulls me to him, “better than anything Merrick could ever make.”

“Are you sure about that? Merrick is really good.”

“…Somewhere in his category, then. Something somewhat close to how he cooks.” Keegan rolls his eyes, “Then don’t eat. Forget I offered.”

“No, I still want food,” I nuzzle my face into his neck.

“Don’t pull the adorable shit.”

I laugh while my face is still buried into his neck, “I’m not pulling anything.”

The buzz of the intercom catches our attention, “Would the two love birds be bothered if we asked them to put their clothes on and join us in the briefing room?” Elias is trying not to laugh.

I stand up, grumbling under my breath. While slipping on my boots, I pull on my mask. Keegan is pulling my hair back for me – that’s so sweet of him. We quickly walk through our safe house, and into the briefing room directly next to Elias’ room. Slinking in, everyone looks at us. These Cheshire cat smiles decorating their faces, “We didn’t have sex, you assholes,” I gripe.

“That’s neither here nor there at the moment,” Elias chuckles, “What we’re in here for, is this.” He flips on a projector, and the location of the area we were looking at was oddly too close to us. Our eyes look to him, “I’m unsure of what is in this place, but it’s heavily guarded by Russians and the remainder of the French Resistance from WWIII.”

“So, it couldn’t be Rorke,” I sit down, “They’re not part of the Federation, right?”

“I want to know what’s in there, in case they are enemies of us. Better safe than sorry,” he flips through another slide, “I’ve been watching them for quite some time and they’re not exactly as advanced as us.”

“Do they even know we’re here?” Hesh asks.

“I don’t believe so; there has no attempt from them to reach us.”

“That’s good, right? We don’t have to start another battle if they’re neutral.” Merrick is still studying the slide closely.

“We just have to make sure they know where their loyalties lie,” Elias is stern, “We’re paying them a visit tonight. Might as well get ready.”

I look to Keegan as we walk out of the briefing room and his arm snakes around my waist. “I don’t know if this is a good idea, but we can be ready.” He’s pushing me towards my room, “But… I think something else is in order.” As soon as he shuts the door, he unhinges my bra. This seems like a great way to get ready.

Chapter Text

All five us are in one jeep, Elias in passenger, Hesh driving, Merrick in the very back with Logan – Keegan and I are in the middle of all of them. He’s holding my hand on the seat between us. We’re driving up towards the safe-house, but we’re parking about a klick out. I still don’t think we should sneak in with guns, that’d give off the wrong impression. Making them think we’re the enemies. It’s a quiet ride, since Merrick and Elias got into an argument before we left. Yelling about how they shouldn’t do this, but Elias wanted to do this and he’s in charge. Stupid little things like that. All the while, Keegan and I were waiting by the jeep. I was pinned by him against the hood as his hands glide up and down my thighs. Having an intense make-out session, as Logan describes it. He had walked in, Keegan’s hand trying to go up my shirt, but it was blocked armor. Letting us know he was in the room by whistling really loudly, shouting for everyone to get in here. He’s such a bother sometimes.

It’s only been two months since Keegan and I started something together, and it was like a wild fire. Everyone knew from the day after we first kissed that something had happened. We slunk out of my room around seven, the usual time we’d run into each other in the hallway. No one was in the kitchen; they were all in the living room. So, the first thing they see is us. Normal, right? Well, it would’ve been – if we had put on the right mask. He was wearing mine, and I was wearing his. They stared at us for a good while, before Logan fell off the back of the couch laughing. Merrick finally let us know we were wearing each other’s masks, and we tried to say it was a joke. That didn’t work, they knew something had happened. So, it’s been out in the open for a while. Keegan placed his hand on my thigh, and Logan leaned forward. “Elias! Keegan and Alias are trying to have a quickie in the jeep!”

I brought my hand back and slapped him upside the head. Keegan just glared at him, “We were not,” he said through gritted teeth, “I was just placing my hand on her thigh, stupid.”

“Potato – po-tat-to.” Logan said, mindlessly.

“Would you three knock it off?” Elias turned around, “We’re almost there.”

“If we keep arguing, will Hesh turn the car around?” Merrick asked, dejectedly.

“No, I’ll speed up.”

Keegan grabbed my hand, before squeezing it lightly. I was on Merrick’s side with this, there was no reason for us to go after them, but Elias was our commanding officer. Hesh pulls off to the side behind some bushes, and we all get out. “This would be perfect for Alias and Keegan to be left alone,” Logan snickers.

“Look, Logan,” Keegan turns around, towering over Logan. Logan looks up at him with a dumbfounded look. “I know you’re still a virgin and you’re trying to live vicariously through me, but you’ve got to make it less obvious.”

Merrick, Hesh, Elias and I have hushed laughter while Logan stutters for a response. “I am not a virgin!”

“Quiet down, Logan.” Elias takes point, and we walk in formation behind him. Merrick brings up the rear, I’m in the middle – Logan and Keegan on either side. For once, Keegan isn’t sniping. It’s a miracle. As we get closer to the base, we notice it’s not as protected as we thought it would be. We slip in through the gate with ease. “Something isn’t right,” Elias mutters.

“Or, maybe they figure since they’re not pissing anyone off – they can sleep at night.” Merrick argues.

“Shush,” I point up to the top floor. There are three males on the balcony – no weapons.

“Do we take them out?” Logan asks.

Elias shakes his head, “They’re not armed. That’d be plain murder.”

We make our way to the main building, and the door isn’t even locked. Cautiously, we check from room to room, but there’s not a soul in sight. At the last room, we can hear voices loudly chattering. Some laughter and no hostility. “They don’t sound hostile, can we just go?” Hesh looks at Elias.

Elias looks at him, and Hesh nods. We stack up at the door, before Keegan pushes it open. We walk in, our guns held up high. Little did we know they had guns, because they all grabbed a gun off the table in front of them. My heart stops, and so does my brain. This isn’t real. I’m at home, and asleep. “Hey,” A British voice growls, “Thas’ my mask.”

As the voice makes his way towards me, Keegan steps up to protect me. “I suggest you back off, or I’ll blow your brains out.”

“Is that a fact?”

Keegan nods, and then slams the butt of his gun into his nose. The tall Brit hits the floor, and his friends have a problem with that. Elias steps forward, “Who are you people?”

“Who are we?” Yet another British voice, “We should be asking you, this is our home.”

“Do you work for the Federation?” Hesh aims at the one on the floor.

“Who the fuck is the Federation? Are you guys loony?”

Before anyone else can get in another word, the door on the far left side of the room opens. Merrick and Logan direct their attention there. The three entering men grab their pistols from their holsters, “What are we missin’ here, lads?” The tallest Scottish male asked.

At that point, I couldn’t breathe. I started to shake, and my attempts to take in any breaths could be heard in the silent room. Keegan put his gun on one of his arms, and grabbed my jaw. Looking him dead in the eyes, “Are you alright, Alias?”

“Looks like your soldier is an idiot.” One of them spats.

“Ghost,” The last Scottish man asks, “Ain’t that your mask?”

“Yeah, but the bloody idiot hit me in the nose,” Ghost spats, “Not the quivering bitch one, but the bigger one.”

I can’t think of anything to say, in the room I’m in are all my dead brothers. My father. My uncle. …Soap… I don’t even look at them. I’m in some kind of dream, and the next time I look at them – I’m going to see their corpses. “Can I ask why you guys are here?” My father, MacMillian, asks.

“Do you work with the Federation?” Elias aims at him.

“What the bloody hell is a Federation?”

“See? They don’t even know who they are,” Merrick looks at Elias, “We can go.”

“Whoa,” Ghost stands, “Not with my mask, you’re not. How’d you even get it, you little cunt?”

I feel dizzy, and my vocal chords no longer wish to speak for me. Keegan shoves Ghost away, “Say one more thing, and every one of your little buddies are going to die.”

Soap walks towards us, with each one of his steps echoing off of my ears. He stops next to Ghost, “Let’s try to be friendly, mate. I’d hate to think what I would have to do to you.” Soap looks at me, “Give ‘im his mask back, you little thief.”

Keegan looks closer at him, and his eyes widen. He now looks at me, and he understands why I’m acting like this. Why I look so freaked out and scared for. “Alright, Alias,” he holds my shoulder, “Give the little whiny cuntmuffin his mask.”

My hand shakes as I grab my—Well, Ghost’s mask. I can’t get my hands to stop shaking enough to be able to pull it off. “Today, you little wanker!” Soap yells at me. That’s the first time I’ve ever had him yell at me. It didn’t help me anymore than it should have. Steeling my arm, I slowly pull up. My pony tail lands in between my shoulder blades, and I swear the room died for a minute. No breathing. No threats. No heartbeats. Just all of us, standing in complete and utter silence. Soap’s expression goes from angry, to pure shock. “C… Cassidy?”

Ghost looks down at me, “Oh my God… I’m such an asshole… and an idiot…”

Soap locks his arms around me, and I also wrap mine around him. I feel a tear hit my cheek as I bury my face deeper into his chest. My father walks towards me, and hugs me from behind. The Ghosts just stand there, unsure of what to do. “I thought I’d never see you again,” Soap’s voice is quiet and shaky.

“I thought you were dead,” I push both of them away, “You’re all supposed to be dead.”

“I can explain…” MacMillian mutters.

-10 Minutes Earlier-

Soap’s arms are placed on the railing of the patio; he’s staring out into the night sky. All he was thinking about was how Cassidy was doing. He had made up his mind that she was alright; she went home and was safe. Still wearing their engagement ring, while guilt suffocated him. They should’ve told her they were alright. Her family, and himself – her fiancé shouldn’t have lied to her for so long. MacMillian said she wouldn’t understand. There were creaks along the boards of the patio as MacMillian and Price made their way towards him. They had just gotten into an argument, and he came out here to cool down. Price places a hand on his shoulder, “We did it for her.”

“No you didn’t,” he jerks his shoulder away, “You did it for you.”

“Lad,” MacMillian spoke soft, “I know my daughter better than anyone else on this planet, and she wouldn’t have been able to understand this. On top of that, she’d be pissed that we lied to her for so long.”

“I think she’d be happier that we were alive,” Soap hissed, “If you lost your memory, we were supposed to be married two months after I ‘died’.”

“She’s fine, I know she is. Cassidy, my baby girl, is my life. She’s always going to be my life, and I know deep in my soul she’s fine.”

“Yeah, she’s fine…” Price uttered.

 “Oh, she’s fine alright,” Soap shoves them both away, “and moved on, and doesn’t love me anymore. Is living an outlandish life thinking that her family is dead, and has nightmares constantly. Yeah, she’s just great.”

“Sometimes you have to let the ones you love go,” Price shoves his hands in his pockets.

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Soap growls, “You got to see her last, and she thinks you’re alive. She’s not going to go get a new uncle.”

“We all love her, and care for her. I would love to be back with my daughter right now, but this is our hand right now.”

“Why didn’t you try to convince the Military to do this with her if she ‘died’?”

“Because,” MacMillian pulls out a cigar, “I knew she’d be alright.”

Soap put his elbows on the railing, and sighed. His sight bore into the quarry below them, and his mind raced for Cassidy. Four years felt like a lifetime. A lifetime ago, he was engaged to the love of his life, his soulmate. A lifetime ago, he was happy. He wanted to tell her that the Military had arranged to relocate him after his ‘death’. After Price, Yuri and Cassidy had left his body – he hadn’t passed on yet. Within five minutes, they had him in a chopper and started giving him medical attention. Cassidy was so distraught, and it was hard for him not to tell her he was alright. An order is an order, he supposed. “What if the new man she loves doesn’t treat her right?” His throat starting to close from holding in tears, “What if he isn’t good enough for her?”

“I raised her right, lad. I’m sure that the man she moved onto treats her like the Princess I raised her to act like.” MacMillian places a firm hand on his back, “She’s not stupid enough to date someone who treats her like garbage.”

Price clears his throat, “I’m sure she’s happy, no matter—“Price is cut off by a loud thud, “What was that?”

“I don’t know,” MacMillian steps towards the door, “but it can’t be good.”

-Present-

“You mean to tell me that you were all fine? That you were always going to be fine?” I shove my father even harder this time, “You didn’t even try to tell me?”

“Sweetheart—“MacMillian begins.

“Don’t even try to ‘sweetheart’ me,” I growl, “All those tears I didn’t need to shed. All those nightmares that meant nothing, the grieving I didn’t need to grieve. Did anyone in here even think of me once? Instead of just themselves?”

“I did!” Roach’s hand raises up high, “Remember that time that I needed to tell you something really, really, really important and Ghost kept on yanking me away? I was trying to tell you, but they were like ‘no, Roach, she’ll never understand’!”

I push my way up to Soap and look him directly in the eye. One tear rolls down my left cheek, “Our wedding? Did it mean nothing to you?”

His hands grab mine, “That day meant the world to me.”

“Apparently not,” I rip myself out of his reach, “not as much as you think, at least.”

“I was under orders—“

“A wise man taught me and taught you that some orders are better not carried out. After Ghost and Roach, had died – if you don’t remember. Four years ago. We were disavowed and on the run. Did you have a problem not following orders then?” Soap just stares at me, not speaking. “Or when Gaz got his brains blown out? Or when Griggs’ neck was nicked? Or when Soap was crushed and bled out? Or when my father was executed? Or when my Uncle abandoned me to go be with my friends and family without me?!” I shove Price so hard that he slams his back hard into wall.

MacMillian grabs my wrist, “Now you listen to me, young lady,” That’s the first time he’s said that to me since I was young, “I did this for your own good. I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t be able to handle it, like you aren’t now. You know that I love you, I’ve always loved you and you’ve always been the center of my universe since your cunt of a mother ran off. I knew out of all of us, you’d always be fine. You’re stronger mentally than the rest of us, and you think quicker than even me – your old man. I knew you’d find your way back to us, because after all, you’re a MacMillian by blood and almost a MacTavish by marriage. Stop acting like a little brat, we’re fine, and you’re fine. If you do continue to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like one. I will throw you in time out faster than you can say, ‘but I’m an adult’! Do you understand me?”

“Not to make anything worse but… I was only nicked on the side of my head with the bullet, my brains remained in my cranium,” Gaz mutters from the back.

I probably look like any child that has just been reprimanded by their parent, embarrassed and angry. I nod slowly, “Yes, sir…”

“Good,” He locks his arms tightly around me, “I missed my baby girl.”

Soap looked between Keegan and I. The entire time this was going on, and he never stopped standing in a defensive state. He jerked his gun up when my father grabbed my wrist. He put two and two together. Keegan joined by my side, and Soap followed. “I take it, you’re her… boyfriend?”

Keegan nodded slowly, “Yeah, you’re her ex-fiancé? Or fiancé? I’m not sure how to put that, since you faked your death.”

Soap’s teeth grits slightly, “I just wanted to let you know that I’m fine with you two dating.”

My old friends and my family all erupted with the same thing, “WHAT?”

“Cassidy moved on, and he doesn’t seem like a bad guy. I’m not going to demand they break up just because I’m back in the picture.” Soap puts his face in front of Keegan’s, “The moment you fuck up though – I’m going to be right there. Any little thing you fuck up – I’m always going to be there, ready to take her away from you.”

Keegan moved his face closer, “Over my dead body.”

“That can be arranged if you hurt her.”

“I’d like to see you try; do you know who the Ghosts are?”

“Nowhere near superior to Task Force One-Four-One”

“Oh, yeah? How about we take this outside then? I’d love to bust your teeth in.”

“I don’t know about that, lad,” Soap cracks his knuckles, “I’m a bit bigger than ya.”

“Strength is useless if you don’t know how to use it.” Keegan set his gun down.

“Crushing your windpipe sounds about right.”

“Knock it off, you morons.” Ghost shoved them both away. “If anyone ever comforted Cassidy for anything, it was me.” Ghost picked me up and I just kept looking around in a daze. “This here is my midget, anyway.”

“Um, no,” Merrick grabs me, “she’s my midget now, ‘mate’.”

“As long as she’s my mom slash cookie maker, I’m fine.” Logan crosses his arms.

“Oh, no motherfucker!” Roach stomps towards him, “She was mine first!”

MacMillian and Elias kept starting at each other, “She’s been like a daughter for the past four years, so… You kind of gave that up when you ‘died’.”

“That’s my baby girl, mate,” He towers over Elias, “Ever see what a provoked Lion can do if you try to touch their young?”

“Have you seen what a 50. Cal Eagle can do to a man’s face?”

“Bring it.”

Gaz stared down Hesh, “I don’t know why, but I don’t like you.”

“Maybe because she’s my little buddy and is remaining my little buddy? So, fuck you.”

I was being yanked about like a rag doll, still trying to piece my mind together. Shaking my head harshly once, I grumble. “If no one shuts their damn mouth, I’m going to start ripping your lips off and duct-taping them to a fucking wall!”

The room dies down for the second time, “Cassandra Esmeralda MacMillian.” MacMillian says sternly.

“Shut it,” Ghost and Merrick place me down. I straighten myself out, fixing my uniform and tightening my pony tail so it goes up higher. Everyone is standing straight, looking directly at me. “My past and present are in the same room, the Ghosts are my family and the One-Four-One is my family. Keegan is my boyfriend; Soap is my ex-fiancé. You all need to get along with each other, or I’ll just leave every last one of you.”

“Yes, ma’am…” Resonates through the room. I rub my arms with my hands, shooing away the chills. Soap and Keegan keep making gestures to each other about what they’ll do, but I couldn’t care less. I just hope Soap understands that I’m with Keegan, because… Well…

He can be possessive.

Chapter Text

I’m sitting on the couch in the One-Four-One’s base, reading over some book of my dad’s that was lying around. Something about how to tactically use Reinforcements that are more than a klick out. Unsure of what everyone else is doing, I really don’t want to move. For the past two weeks, it’s been so tense. Whether it is Logan and Roach having knock-down-drag-out fights for my love and cookies, or Ghost and Merrick trying to one up each other at something. Elias and my dad trading stories, trying to scare the other one away from me. I think the worst is between Soap and Keegan. They just glare and trade insults. What worries me more is yesterday, Soap was waiting for me outside the shower. I tightly had the towel around me, and he just kept asking questions about what I had been doing for the time we were apart. While his eyes scanned up and down my figure, biting the corner of his lip when he listened for my response – a look I know all too well.

I can’t say it’s been easy resisting him. He was the first man I ever laid with. He was my first everything. My memory has been refreshed of how he looks, but not under the clothes. Thank God. It’s hard enough not giving in and letting him have me. I look up from my book just to stare blankly at a wall as my thoughts begin to rise and… heat. Those eyes undressing me every time he looks at me. Those hands rubbing together under the table, or gripping his jeans tightly – wishing they could run all over me. That icy, hair arising stare that he gives me when no one is really paying attention. I stared off just by lightly smiling to shrug it off, and then scooting to Keegan. But now… I look at ground, biting my lip and secretly moaning on the inside. Or when he sneaks up behind me when I’m alone somewhere, whispering with that… sexy, rough voice – straight into my ear, his breath so warm and goose bump raising. I dig my nails into my thighs, squeezing my eyes closed. The man I tried so hard to forget is remembered so easily.

My body shoots up when a loud thud echoes through the room. I glance over to see Soap dropping his ammunition box, he probably went shooting. Our eyes meet, and I don’t know what to do. I let my thoughts frazzle me so much, and I completely forgot I was out in the open. “What are you doing by yourself?” Soap walks over, glancing around, “No guard dog?”

I pull my knees towards my chest as I sit up, “N-no… I don’t know where Keegan is.” I watch as he sits down.

He sits against the arm of the couch, “Shame, my ammunition just got refilled.”

“Soap,” I retort sternly. I don’t call him John; I feel it’s kind of inappropriate, since no one else calls him John.

Soap rolls his eyes, “That whole Soap nonsense is getting pretty annoying.”

“I could call you Captain MacTavish,” I begin to thumb through the book again, “If you want.”

“Whatever you say, Lieutenant MacMillian.” I don’t answer him, I just continue to give the illusion I’m ignoring him. The couch creases inwards, and his finger pushes down my book. “How about John,” he inches up between my legs. He stops his face close to mine, “you know I love it when you called me John…”

I push him slightly, but his shoulder only barely moves. “Soap, I explained to you I’m with Keegan.”

“So,” he comes closer, “didn’t stop me when you were dating Dunn.”

“Soap.”

“Don’t you remember?” He’s on top of me now, “The little Sergeant that came into my unit, fooling around with the Ranger boy? Sneaking off to see him every night, thinking no one noticed.”

My breathing quickens, “S-Soap, stop.”

“I noticed. Not only that, I noticed you. How much I wanted to believe you were naïve like the rest of the new bunch, but you weren’t. You were different. You knew what you were doing. So much better than the rest of that sorry lot. So skilled, so meticulous… And wasting her time with a Corporal. Not only that, a Yank. A murse. I didn’t understand what you saw in him, or why you were fooling around with him. I still don’t.”

“I told you. He was sweet, and funny and—“

“And so easily forgotten once I got my hooks into you.”

“Not true!” I try to cross my arms, “he cheated with a nurse.”

Soap puts his mouth next to my ear, “After I got you.” My skin goes pale at the memory. Coming into his office, on a day off – expecting to have a conversation about how I was fitting in well to his unit. A short while after entering, I’m being thrown on top of the desk – my blouse and shorts unbuttoned. Him poking a prodding at every inch of my skin. I had never even done… I had never even seen. Him making me feel things I had never felt before, wonderful feelings.

“You need to get off of me,” I squirm, my face turning red.

“Let me think, you liked…” He sinks his teeth into the nape of my neck, making me squirm even more.

“Soap, this isn’t funny.”

“Neither is ignoring me like you don’t want me.” He sits up, taking a relaxed seat like nothing happened. “I know you still yearn for my touch, darling. I can see it in your eyes. In your cheeks. And… even more when you squeeze your legs together, and make up the excuse you seem to forget I taught you, that you need to use the restroom. Don’t you remember? To get sneak off to fool around, because you’re just so… aroused.”

“Shut up.”

“I know you’re not getting all hot for Keegan.”

“I said shut up, Soap.”

“Admit it them.”

“BE QUIET!” I pick up a pillow and slam it on to his face. His muffled laugh his heard as he effortlessly rips the pillow from me.

“What’s wrong, Cassie?” He glides his hands down my sides, “Guilt again?”  My eyes bare deep into his own orbs, anger swirling inside of my stomach. That stupid smirk, the smirk that he needs to get rid of – I hate it so much. The taunting look that he’s right, and I’m weak for him. I’ve always been weak for him. Within in an instance, I press my lips firmly against his. To get rid of that stupid, stupid, stupid smirk. His hands lower to my bottom, and he grips me tightly. I feel my back place against the floor, Soap’s full weight on me. The kissing heats up more than I’d like to admit before I realize what I’m doing. I turn my face away from him, and inch my way out from beneath him. Pulling my knees to my chest, he sits up with a big smile on his face. “I told you.”

“Shut up, Soap.” My arms cross tightly.

“Oh, Cassie, Cassie, Cassie…” Soap’s voice holds so much taunt, “you still want your fiancé. How shocking.”

“I am with Keegan,” I stand up.

“And I still want you,” he follows me in suit, “I’m always going to want you.”

“That doesn’t matter,” I look to him, “I’m dating Keegan, and I’m not longer engaged to you. You died, remember? You left me.”

“In all fairness, you left me.”

“Because you died!” I roar at him, shoving him forcefully.

Soap chuckles as he barely takes a step backwards with each of his boots. His left hand rose to show the engagement ring, pristine and clean. The diamonds and topazes gleaming into my pupils with the aid of the light’s reflection, built in to a solid silver band. I place the tip of my index finger lightly against the cool band, tracing of the ridges of each of the individual jewels. My hand reaches towards my neck and I hook a finger around a thin chain. Emerging from under my shirt are Soap’s Dog-Tags and my matching engagement ring. My heart begins to drown from the repressed feelings I have for him. That I’m always going to have for him. He walks forward, barely leaving any space between us. “I love you, Cassidy. I’m going to always love you. I don’t care what anyone has to say. Not even you. You can’t just expect me to abandon the feelings that I shared with you. I can’t just drop everything because you happened to move on.”

I stand there for a good moment while I think of a retort, “You did abandon me.”

His hand tightens at his side, “I didn’t want to. I had to if I wanted to have the help. If I thought they’d still help me if I told you – I would have.”

The door slams from the entrance, “ALIAS!” Merrick screams, “GHOST IS A FUCKING CHEATER AND A PIECE OF SHIT!”

The door opens and slams again, “SAY THAT TO MY FACE, MATE!”

My leg extends back to get away from Soap. The two of them come barging into the living room area, covered in sweat and dirt. “What did you two do?” I ask.

They stand there, eyeing us. “Doesn’t matter, what matters is what you two are doing? Where’s Keegan?” Merrick questions.

“I don’t know.”

“Soap is just taking back his fiancé from your idiot friend.” Ghost spat.

Before Merrick can reply, Keegan joins to room. He looks dead straight at me, “Cassie?”

“Yes, Keegan?”

“What’s goin’ on?”

I heavy sigh, “Soap and I were having a conversation, Ghost and Merrick came barging in because Ghost’s an apparent cheater… Where were you?”

“Working on my shooting,” he places his L115 against the wall, “what were you two talking about?”

“How I’m a giant jackass and she never does anything wrong.” Soap mutters, dejected.

“Sounds about right…” Keegan makes his way over to me. His arm snakes around my waist, and he tightly pulls me to his side. “You are a jackass.”

“I’m the jackass who had my ring on her finger, so bleh.” Soap crosses his arms, sticking his tongue out.

“So mature.”

“Mature enough to get a woman engaged to me.”

"But not mature enough to be honest with her, and not mature enough to keep her."

Soap rolls his eyes, and turns towards the narrow hallway. “I have a M14 calling my name for a cleaning,” his orbs glance to me, “a lot of things do.”

“What was that?” Keegan takes a step.

“Oh, um… You’re a moron or something rather.” He disappears into his room.

Keegan looks at me, “What did you see in him?”

“A bigger man than you,” Ghost growls, trudging towards the showers, “Probably in many ways.” The door slams.

We all stand there for a good moment, until the kitchen door swings open. Roach and Logan walk out, covered in eggs and flour. “Logan started it, Cassie!” He runs, diving for my legs.

“Oh, bullshit!”

I pull myself away, strolling off to the balcony. Keegan’s soft steps follow after, his arms wrapping around my waist. The wind wraps around us, and we don’t say anything. He knows I’m not in the mood to talk.

…

Alone in my room, I sit and think about the conversation with Soap. I’m in the Ghost’s base, but I’m thinking of not going back to the One-Four-One’s for a while. I mean, I know my dad’s over there and all, but Soap is there too. He’s been getting more possessive and clingy as the days go by and I don’t know what to do anymore. I shake my head, standing up from my bed. A nice shower will do wonders for my thoughts. My hand grips my night clothes as I proceed to my own shower. Walking by my open window, I try to walk by and close it. I don’t hear it click, but it looks closed – so whatever.  Shutting the door behind me, I set my clothes on the sink and reach into the shower. I turn the single knob, waiting for the water to heat up. I slide my pants off, then my shirt – but I stand there for a minute in my underwear. I think I hear something. I open the door quickly, and take a glance around the room. I just shrug it off, and seal the door again. I finish undressing and I hop into the warm shower. It feels good to let the water sit on my neck, the steam filling the room. I stick my head under the shower-head, but pull away swiftly. Did the door just shut?

I peek my head out, and tightly grip the curtain. “Soap! What are you doing here?!”

Standing there in his tight blue jeans and no shirt, “Was in the neighborhood and I thought you could use the company.” He drops his shirt on the floor, “You used to love having me in the shower with you.”

“That was before the engagement was broken,” I reach for a towel, “way different.”

He enfolds my hand in his, walking to the shower. Sliding off his pants, I pull away. “What’s wrong, Cassie? It’s just a little shower fun, nothing drastic.”

I stumble back, placing my hands behind me, “Soap, we are not doing this.” Squeezing my eyes shut, I hope he comes to his senses. The curtain closes, but I feel his hands on my sides. Gently, my eyes ease open. I’m left to stare at his chest, my eyes not wanting to take a good look around. Knowing what the inevitable was. “We can’t do this.”

His fingers place under my chin, forcing me to make eye-contact. He places his lips so delicately against mine, leaning against me. My fingers wrap around his wrist as much as possible, pulling his hand away from my chin. I take a moment to let everything process, letting my eyes trail over Soap—No, John. This is John. His lightly hairy chest, the left side decorated over his heart with a tattoo of the Scottish flag. The now healed scars on his side and chest. The war riddled body of my ex-fiancé, bare in front of me – in the shower. His hands place firmly on my hips, and I look up at him. Water trailing down his face, “Yes, Cassie?”

 My hand runs my fingers through my hair, pushing it out of my face. I search my brain for something to say, but I’m pretty sure it’s just making a buzzing noise. The same noise when a radio-station’s tower messes up. We share another long stare, my heart races and I feel dirty inside. I want Soap to have me. To do things to me. Not Keegan, my boyfriend. Soap, my ex-lover, ex-fiancé – someone that I’m no longer with. He leans in again, but not to kiss me. My back is against the semi-warm tile wall, Soap’s rough skin against my own soft flesh. I let tips of my fingers drag against the stubble of his facial hair. His eyes follow my hand, up my arm and they stop on my chest. Something he hasn’t seen for four years. Something he claimed before any other man could, but still was in a fight to be able to claim it again.

“Mo ghaol, I’ve missed you.” Soap buries his face into my neck. His hands run down from my hips, on to my backside. I run my own palms up his back until my arms are hooked under his. (My love)

Nibbling gently against my neck – I want it. I want him. Now. “Oh mo Dhia,” my breath is more audible than my voice, “I missed you too.” (Oh my God) I pull his face towards mine, pressing my lips aggressively and passionately against his. This feels so wrong, but so much more right. I can feel him grip me in between my thighs, he teases me. I love how he teases me. His hand pulls back and forth, only giving enough force for me to slightly feel it. We both freeze when someone knocks on the door, “Y-yeah?”

“Hey, Cassie, it’s Ghost.” He pauses for a moment, “’Ave you seen Soap? We can’t find ‘im anywhere.”

“Ghost,” I clear my throat quietly, “I’m in the shower.”

“Yeah, but before you got in the shower, did you see him?”

Soap is chewing on my neck, “No, I didn’t. I’ve been alone since I got back from your guy’s house.”

“Do you know where he might be?”

I want to punch Soap in the head so bad right now, “Uh… Price? My dad? His room? You know he loves his alone time.”

“Ah-huh, or in the shower with you.” Ghost taps on the curtain. I don’t say anything, Soap is just staring at the wall. His hand reaches in, shutting off the shower. He then tosses two towels in, while we wrap ourselves, he locks the door. Ashamed, I step out. Casually, Soap follows. Before saying anything, Ghost turns the shower back on. Probably to cover our voices, “So, Cass, when did you finally come to your senses?”

“This… I don’t even know how this happened.”

“This happened because you still want me, just as bad as I want you.” Soap glances at me.

“Soap, do me a favor and string your towel up a little higher. That may do something for Cassidy, but it doesn’t do anything for me.” Ghost pinches the bridge of his nose, “I won’t say anything to anyone, but midget, you may want to think about what you really want.”

“She wants me, she knows she wants me, but she won’t let go of Keegan.”

“Whatever she may want, she shouldn’t really be in between like this.” He pushes Soap clothes to him, “Even though her rightful place is with the One-Four-One.”

I rub my face with one hand, “Just get out. Both of you. I need to be alone.”

Ghost goes out of the window first, “Let him get dressed first.”

I sit down on my bed, watching Soap dress. My head falls into my hands; I can’t believe he almost did this again. He almost got me to have sex with him while I was seeing someone again. I almost fell for it. Again. Soap kneels down in front of me, pulling my arms toward him. He kisses me again, just as passionate as in the shower. “While you’re thinking, remember, I still love you, Cassidy. I still want to marry you. I still want a family with you. There is no other woman on this planet that will ever be as beautiful, as sweet, as loving, as funny, or as sexy as you to me. You are truly my soul mate, the love of my life. Keegan can’t say all of that. Keegan wasn’t there for you before you were broken,” His hand cups the side of my face, “I’ve been with you for seven years. He will never, ever, ever, love you as much as I do. Because I don’t love anyone else, I only love you.”

My eyes water slightly, “Why’d you have to do this?”

“I needed you to know all of this; I needed to remind you of who loves you. I always loved you, I always will love you.” He starts walking toward the window, “Those may have not been my real last words, but they will be the last thing I ever say that’s worth mentioning.” I can’t see him after he drops down. I sit there in my towel, confused and guilty. My heart beats for Soap, and I can’t change that. Though, I still feel things for Keegan. I never thought I’d ever have this kind of decision. Honestly, I’d rather have the decision of going into a crumbling house or going down a storm drain.

Chapter Text

In the dead of night, I creep out to the living room. Keegan is still up, and I need to let him know everything that I’m feeling. His eyes look to me, a smile lightly fading in. Taking a seat next to him, I grab his hand. “Yes, babe?” He turns to me, placing a hand on my knee.

“Keegan, you know I’ve been… frazzled since finding out the last four years of my life has been a lie…” I gaze into his eyes, “I’m really confused.”

“About Soap and I?”

“Exactly that…” I stand up, “I still feel love for Soap, but I feel love for you too. I don’t think it’s right, and I really, really, really care about you. I’ve never been so lost in my life.”

Keegan wraps his arms around me from behind, “Do you want to be with… that?”

“No,” My hands place on his, “He had his chance, and he lost it. He should have been honest with me. You’re honest with me.”

“Yes, I am,” His face brushes against my neck.

“So… I should be honest with you…”

“Oh, God.”

My hand still wrapped around his, I lead him back to the couch to sit down. I take in a heavy breath, “Something happened last night…”

“What…” Keegan is slightly flinching.

“You have to promise me that you’ll keep your temper.”

“…Kay…”

“Last night, when I was in the shower… Soap kind of… joined me… a little.”

“WHAT?” He quickly stands, “What do you mean he joined you?!”

“You promised!”

“You were in a shower, naked, with your ex!”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!”

“What all happened in there?”

“He snuck in, and we just kind of… kissed… a little… sort of…”

Keegan’s eye twitches and he bolts out of the door. Merrick and Hesh walk out of their rooms as I begin to chase after. “Whoa! What’s goin’ on?” They chase after the two of us. The four of us run towards the One-Four-One base, and I think I know what he’s going to do. I try to run faster, but my legs just won’t let me.

Keegan kicks the door open, “Where is that motherfucker?!”

Ghost automatically stands up, “I take it Cassidy was honest with you?”

Before he answers, Soap walks into the living room. Keegan tackles him to the floor, “How dare you!” His fist slams into Soap’s face.

Head-butting him off, “She was my fiancée first, you over-grown cunt!”

The two of them begin to share blows, hard ones. Each time a fist landed, you heard it. I run in between them, pushing them a part. “Knock it off!”

Soap wipes blood from his nose, “You gotta choose. Here and now.”

Keegan nods, “Is it me or him?”

I look to my dad who is walking towards me, “They’re right, Tweedy. You need to let one go, and after this little fight – it’s gotta be now.”

My eyes dart to the floor; I can’t look either of them in the face right now. I’m going to stand by what I told Keegan, “I’m sorry…” I look up to Soap, his expression pleading for me to tell Keegan goodbye. Then I look to Keegan, who has the same expression. “Soap, I’m sorry, but… I’m with Keegan. You had your chance, you weren’t honest with me.”

Soap’s icy stare moved from me, then to Keegan, and finally his gaze fell into me. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She was choosing this little punk over him? This guy knew nothing about Cassidy; he didn’t go through any of the shit that he had endured with her. His fists clenched his jaw locking together as he inhaled sharply. He did not give up everything that he had in his life for this. No, he had thrown away his military career, his life, everything in order to keep the woman before him safe. Now he was losing that too, and to a yank no doubt.

He shook his head incredulously. “No Cassidy, you can’t just justify it with that. You are going to choose this rebound through everything I sacrificed for you?” His teeth ground through bitter anger. He took a step to her, his gaze never fading from her own. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me anymore.”

“John..” I mumbled, before dropping his gaze.

“Tell me you don’t love me anymore, that you don’t want me, and I will gladly fuck off and let you go frolicking with this Yankee bastard,” Soap’s finger jutted towards Keegan, “Tell me that he is your world and that everything I gave up for you wasn’t good enough, and I will  leave you be.” His nostrils flared through his rough breathing.

MacMillian stepped towards the brutal captain before placing his hand on his shoulder. “I think you need to back off and take a few breaths, mate. You might say or do something you might regret.”

“The only thing I fucking regret is letting you and Price talk me into ‘dying’ for the better fucking cause! Because it wasn’t a better fucking cause! The world went to shit anyways! I have lost everything! I’ll be damned if I will give Cassidy over too!” Soap violently shrugged the older man’s hand from his shoulder before placing his hands upon Cassidy’s shoulders. “Fucking tell me what I want to hear,” his voice was a low growl, his nose inches from hers as his eyes dug into hers, “do it.”

I stare back into his swirling typhoons as I choke down what’s left of my heart, “John… It’s not that I don’t love you, it just…”

“Just what?”

“You lost me due to dishonesty. I’m always going to care about you, but I’m with Keegan. I moved on, I don’t know how many times I can tell you that. There is nothing more I can tell you, so I’m leaving now.” I push his arms away from me, before walking straight out of the building. Hesh, Merrick and Keegan follow behind me, the door’s slam echoing through the dark night.

As we walk along the deserted, dusty trail – I fight tears away from my eyes. I will not let them spill over; showing how much pain this has caused me. “Why didn’t we ask to borrow a car or something?” Hesh whines.

“Because they would’ve said no, “Merrick cracks his knuckles, “seeing as how our little Keegan stole their Cassidy away.”

“Shut it,” Keegan holds my hand, “are you alright, babe?”

My eyes don’t move from the ground, “Peachy.”

“It means a lot, you doing that finally…” he mutters, “Let’s me know you’re serious about us, and it makes me happy.”

“I’m glad you’re happy.”

“You’re not?”

I sigh heavily, “I want to be with you, and I really, really do. So, that’s what I’m going to do. It doesn’t make letting go of John, someone I was with for almost eight years, someone I was engaged to, any easier on me. I’m sure it’s going to hurt for a couple of days, but I know where I stand on this. Our relationship doesn’t deserve to be cut short because I find out they’re alive. Our word is our bond, in a civilized society, that’s all we really have. Without that, we are nothing more than monkeys.”

“Wise words, my child.” I hear MacMillian from behind.

The three of them jump, but I’m used to him sneaking up on me. “How long have you been following us?” Merrick asks.

“Since you left,” he walks past them, “I’m proud of you Tweedy.” Walking with me, he grabs my hand, pulling me away from Keegan, “If you don’t mind, I need to have a discussion with my little girl. She’ll be with you momentarily.”

“Sure thing, Mr. MacMillian.” Keegan mutters, walking ahead with the others.

“Yes, dad?” I glance to him as we slowly follow.

“I don’t think any less of you for choosing this path, alright? I love you no matter what you do, and if you really think you want to be with Keegan… I’m just glad you’re still in my life again.”

“I know you don’t…” I let some tears escape.

“Why the tears, young one?”

“Because I still feel this pain in my chest, and I don’t know why.”

“Soap is going to have a place in your heart for all eternity. This has been written into your brain for seven long years. It’s going to take some getting used to, just calling him a friend again. When and if he ever wants to be a mature adult and accept your friendship, but I can’t guarantee that will be any time soon. All that matters is your Uncle and I still love you very much. We will do our best to accept Keegan as your boyfriend, and will not pressure you with anything about Soap.”

Our conversation dies down for a moment, before I clear my throat. “Who would you have wanted me to choose?” My voice is very quiet.

I watch as the man who helped give me life stares off into the distance, this is the look of his thoughts meshing together. The look I’ve known for as long as I can remember. Whether it was asking if someone could spend the night, or asking him what plan B is – it has never changed. “Honestly, my dear, I know I’m supposed to say who ever you love, but I would’ve wanted you to choose Soap. Not because he’s one of our own, or because Keegan’s a Yank. But because of the life you two were building together. The wedding, the family, the love – the dreams you two shared, and wanted to follow through with. He loves you, he’ll love you while you’re with Keegan – he’ll probably love you until the end of time.”

I nod, “I understand what you mean, daddy…”

“We don’t even know if this Keegan thing will last, so I’m not getting really into it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Cassidy, you have been with him for what, two months? That’s hard to pit against two years of friendship, and seven years of a relationship. He hasn’t even seen all of you yet, has he?”

“No, he hasn’t, but-“

“But nothing, I will take it more seriously as time goes on. As it stands now, I’m not really putting too much thought into what’s it going to be like having an American son-in-law.”

“Alright,” I stop at the end of the stairs, “I love you, dad.”

MacMillian wraps his arms tightly around me, squeezing me into him. “Good night, sweetie, make sure to get some sleep.”

I walk up the steps, glancing over my shoulder to see my dad begin the walk back. My hand glides along the railing until I walk in. The three of them are still waiting there for me, probably wondering what my dad had said. I walk right past them, into my room. Locking the door, I just collapse onto my bed. I don’t know if the decision I made was wrong or right, but all I wanted to do now was sleep. Tomorrow will be better.

Chapter Text

Forced by Price and MacMillian, I am in the One-Four-One’s house. We’re all going to have a nice dinner together, the Ghosts and One-Four-One. Keegan and Soap, Merrick and Ghost, Logan and Roach, Hesh and Gaz, Elias and MacMillian – everyone is going to be nice. We’re going to have dinner, and a chat. Nothing more. Elias is currently explaining what’s going on to the Ghosts back at our house, but I don’t really believe it’s going well. MacMillian and Price are doing the same for the Task Force. My arm aches as I continue stirring the mashed potatoes on the stove. I don’t know why I have to be the one to cook everything. My dad said because it’d be best if I wasn’t there for the explanations. That’d I just get caught up in the middle. Placing the lid back onto the pot, I turn around and take a seat back at the table. Now I need to dice the vegetables for Griggs’ stupid sauté. The door swings open, and in comes Soap. He probably didn’t even know I was in here. I haven’t seen him for two or three weeks. He hasn’t wanted anything to do with me – because of picking Keegan over him.

Soap’s seemingly tired eyes notices me when he shuts the fridge. Clenched tightly in his fist is a bottle of Scotch – not even opened yet. I let my eyes trail over his face for a moment, before I go right back to cutting the vegetables – my eyes fixed dead straight on the knife. I hear glasses clank behind me, trying to give the impression that’s he’s not going to drink that bottle himself. The hair on the back of my neck rise as the impending torment of tension permeates our beings. But I feel as if he’s looking at me, as if his stare was burning into my back. I let the sliced bell peppers slide into the bowl where all of the contents for the sauté will go. My hand reaches for the bag of spinach, but my fingers barely touch it – and it lands on the floor. I try to scoot my chair back to pick it up, but I notice Soap’s hand wrapping around the bag. I let myself turn around to look at him, his hand resting against the back of my chair. “Thank you,” my voice barely croaks out.

“Yeah,” I watch as he unscrews the cap to the bottle. He stands there for a moment, staring down at the knife in my hand. I didn’t notice how I’m holding it, the black handle creasing my palm as the tip of the blade points towards him. “Going to try and finish what other’s started?”

“No,” I set the knife down, “I didn’t mean to have it pointed towards you.”

“Your subconscious did,” he spits back at me, acid coating his words.

I stand up, “You are so full of shite.”

“Oh, I’m the one who’s full of shit? Not the one who threw away seven years of love for some stupid five-month relationship? Are you really sure about that?”

“Oh, get off it.”

“I’m not on anything, dearest.” Soap sneers as he unscrews the bottle to the Scotch.

“You’re on some childish kick is what you’re on,” I rip the bag of spinach open, the contents spilling all over the bowl and partially on the table. I sweep them in with the rest of the leaves as I start to violently dice tomatoes. How dare he have the nerve of saying that I wanted to kill him. Now, I kind of want to.

A hear a small chortle behind me as he pours himself a glass, “If that makes you feel better about you being a moron, then so be it.”

“Nice way to talk to someone you apparently love, you fucking knob.”

“You mean the one who chose some Yankee-Doodle-Dandy over me?”

“Roach and Griggs are Americans too, you stupid muppet.”

Soap shakes his head, placing his glass down, “They earned their One-Four-One wings.”

“Whatever you say,” I stand up, walking over to the stove. I pour the vegetable into the pan next to the mashed potatoes. Flicking on the light to the oven to check on the roast, surrounded by potatoes and onions. I still feel Soap barring into my being, but I try to ignore it as I push the sauté around. He stomps out of the kitchen, giving me a minute to breathe. This was a bad idea; I knew it was from the get-go.

I hear the front door open, hopefully meaning the Ghosts were finally here. Keegan walks into the kitchen, looking me over. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I mutter as I look down at the food.

“Are you sure?” He holds me from behind, “You seem upset.”

“It’s nothing new, I assure you.”

“He’s being quite the prick still?”

“Understandably, yes.”

The timer goes off for the turkey, so I slide on oven-mitts. I pull it from the oven, stabbing a meat thermometer deep into its breast. Says it’s cooked. I walk the turkey out into the dining room, to find it as dead as can be. I place the turkey in the middle of the table, Keegan following behind me with the mashed potatoes and sauté. We both sit down, both groups just staring at the food. Roach glares at Logan from his spot, nibbling on a piece of bread.

MacMillian looks around, “Well, this food isn’t going to eat itself, now is it?”

Elias nodded, “Yeah, so why don’t we get to eating?”

As everyone served themselves, there was an unbelievable tension building up in the middle of everyone. Soap just stabbed his turkey with the fork over and over, glaring deeply into Keegan’s being. Keegan, trying to avoid any more confrontations for the sake of myself, simply ignored him out right. Like he wasn’t even there.

We all began to eat in silence, there wasn’t much to say that wouldn’t start something. Everyone had a vendetta against someone, even the usually cheery and happy Roach. I had never seen this side to him until now, I didn’t even know the boy could hold grudges. But he held a huge one against Logan, well, really against the entire Ghosts for breaking up ‘his happy family’. As he put it.

After a while, Soap stood up and just left the table. Food, drink and all. Slammed his hands hard enough to cause Hesh’s drink to spill all over his lap. “Thanks, fucker.” He growled as he began to pat his pants with napkins.

“Like he doesn’t have a reason to be pissed?” Gaz asked, pointing his fork at Hesh.

“Maybe he should learn to act like a fucking adult instead of a spoiled child,” Merrick chimed in, pushing his plate away.

“Or maybe you should all mind your own fucking business?” Ghost looked at them, “You fuckers ruined everything we had.”

“Ghost,” Price sternly stated, trying to stop it.

“We don’t fucking like any of you, MacMillian doesn’t even like Keegan for fuck’s sake.”

“Excuse me?” I say, glaring daggers at Ghost.

“Oh, daddy didn’t tell you?”

“Shut it, Ghost. Before you say something you’ll regret.” MacMillian warned.

“Nobody, and I mean nobody in this house likes your new friends, Cassidy.” Ghost looked dead into my eyes.

“Like that matters?” Elias looked at him, “We care about her and you care about her. Starting this isn’t going to help anyone with anything.”

“Maybe she should just kick you guys to the side?” Roach looked at them, “We had a great thing before you guys showed up. We were all happy and had each other when the world didn’t have us. Tell me, did you back the three of them when they were wanted for treason? We sure as hell did.”

“We didn’t know the whole story, we stayed out of it.” Merrick stated matter of fact.

“So, if they had sent you guys after them, you would’ve obeyed?”

“But they didn’t.”

“You would’ve.”

“None of that matters now, does it, Gary?” I ask.

“No, I really think it does. I really think all of them should go kick fucking rocks. They don’t know you like we know you. They never will.” Roach stood up so fast, his chair fell over. He didn’t bother picking it up as he left the table.

Gaz and Griggs looked at their ruined plates, before both standing up and leaving to their separate rooms. Logan and Hesh stormed out the door, saying they would wait in the car for everyone else to finish up. To finish what? Food was all over the table, no one was hungry in the first place. Elias and Merrick left the table soon after, leaving MacMillian, Ghost, Keegan, Price and I all looking at each other.

I look at my dad, “I told you this was a horrible idea.”

“We had to try something to make everyone stop acting like assholes, now didn’t we?”

I stand, “Nothing ever will.” Walking out of the door with Keegan on my heels, we get into the car.

It’s silent drive back over, everyone upset about something that happened with dinner. I stare out the window, trying to get my mind off of it. But it seemed almost impossible to do. Everyone hated each other and it was all my fault.

Chapter Text

I wake up with my being drug down the hallway by my hair, unsure of who’s doing it. Trying to scream, my mouth taped shut tight. I try to get a good look at who’s doing this, but I can’t. Slung into the room on my knees, facing directly in front of Keegan. Elias, Merrick, Hesh and Logan were all tied up too, the boys facing their father. “Now, we could start this without Keegan’s new girlfriend, now could we?” It’s Rorke. It can’t be.

“Leave her out of this,” Elias growled, “She wasn’t even with us when this all started.”

“Oh, but she is now.” Rorke stands in between Keegan and I. I’m the only one of the prisoners that have their mouth taped shut. I feel the tip of Rourke’s pistol jabbing against my left temple. “But, you’re right, we should just get rid of her, huh? Kind of blocking our boy time together.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Keegan threaten.

“What are you going to do about it?” The room is silent, until Rorke shoots me through the back of my calf. I fall over in pain, biting my tongue in the process.

“You son of a bitch!” Keegan tries to move, but falls over. His head next to mine, “You’ll be alright, Cassidy, just look at me.”

“That would be too easy,” He rips me up by my hair, my blood pooling around me. His head nods once, “Take her to the car, will you?”

“No!” Keegan is inching on the floor, same with Logan. They’re trying to do something, but I’m not sure of what.

----

MacMillian looks around, “Anyone else hear a gunshot?”

Soap comes from around the corner, M4A1 on his back and an MSR in his hands. He starts running towards the door, but Price stops him. “You can’t go kill the Keegan boy.”

Soap looks at him, “No, there’s someone there. A bunch of people.” He argues.

“Nice try, Soap.”

“For fuck’s sake, they just shot Cassidy in the fucking leg, you morons!”

MacMillian stands up, “What the bloody hell are we waiting for? Let’s go!”

Ghost peeks out from his room, “Wha’s going on?”

“We need to go help Cassidy and her friends,” Price grabs his ACR.

“Oh, shit. Gaz! Griggs! Roach! Loaded for bear, let’s fucking go!”

The One-Four-One run from their base, climbing in the two trucks they have. They peel out, looking at all the infantry in front of the Ghosts’ base. Guards speckled around the perimeter. “Never thought we’d be doing this again.” Roach states from the back seat.

“Surreal, isn’t it, mate?” Ghost asks.

They pull of the side, sneaking their way up the flanks. Soap, Price and Gaz on one side, Griggs Roach and Ghost on the other. MacMillian is hanging back to provide sniper support. “See anything, Mac?” Price asks.

“This fucker is yanking my daughter around by her hair, not much more. They all of them on their knees or they’ve fallen onto the floor trying to get Cassidy away.”

“Told you they wouldn’t keep her safe,” Soap spat.

“Now’s not the time to be yanking each other a part,” Gaz looked over at him, “we need to get Cassidy out of there. Before they kill her.”

“Oy, they’re movin’ her! Out the left side, you need to stop them before they do!” MacMillian sniper begins to ring out like crazy, hostiles dropping left and right.

Soap and Price move quickly as the other’s suppress the hostiles from even noticing their presence. By the time they get up there, they’ve already thrown Cassidy in the back. A trail of blood leading up to the door. The driver speeds off before his friend can get in the passenger’s seat. “They’re moving!” Soap tries to shoot out the tires.

Price grabs the gun, “You’re not careful, they’re both go over the cliff side.” Turning around, he sees another vehicle, “We’re going to trail them, you guys make sure those yanks don’t die.”

“Be careful, Price,” MacMillian warned. Not for his safety, for the safety of the planet. Because if Cassidy died, no one would be safe. Makarov would eat his heart out.

Soap got into the driver’s seat and Price got in the passenger’s seat. As he sped off after the car, Price knocked the windshield out to prevent it from cause any other issues. The man before them drove erratically, swerving left and right. Price leaned out of his window, attempting to shoot the tires, or even the man himself.

“Aye,” Soap gripped his wheel tighter, “Get in, old man. We’re doing this my way.”

“What are you— “Before Price could even finish, Soap sped forward. “Lad, be careful about what you’re doing.” He gripped his seat, his protégé clearing going off a deep end. Maybe literally. “Watch the fuckin’ cliff, boy!”

“Hold on!” Soap rammed into the back of the car, sending them both swerving towards the cliff. Both cars went over, to be caught by a ledge, Soap wasn’t sure was there or not. He thought he saw it. The two of them climbed out, immediately shooting the attempting to flee driver.

He yanked Cassidy’s door open, she was lying on the roof the car, not responding.

---

I taste blood, a whole lot of it. This driver has gone fucking nuts, apparently. I’m being thrown all over the back seat, my head hitting every which way. “Slow down, you bloody slogger.” I mumble from behind my tape. He glances at me through the driver’s aid, before turning abruptly, slamming my face into the door.

My mind isn’t being taken off the Ghosts, they’re all going to die. How did we not hear anything? God, I hope they’re all right. Maybe the One-Four-One heard the commotion. But would they even try to help? Even if I was over there, my father and Price no doubt. But what of the others? They must hate my guts.

Something slams into the back of us, and I try screaming as I see us going over a cliff. I try to brace for impact, but how can I? I’m basically hog-tied over here. The car slams into the Earth, causing me to bounce around like a fucking rag-doll.

I space out for a moment, hearing the door open. I fully expect Keegan to be pulling me out of this mess. They cut the tape from around my legs, pulling me out by my arms. I can’t see anything, my hair all over my face. Someone is holding me bridal style, I highly doubt that it’s Keegan. He’s not this big.

Brushing the hair out of my eyes, I look up to see Soap. His worried eyes that I’ve seen so many times. His heart beating against my arm. “Are you alright?” Voice shaken.

Gently, he peels the tape from my mouth, blood spilling from when I bit my tongue. “R-Rorke, he shot me in my leg.”

Price bandages it up as quickly as he can, “It’ll be fine, I’m sure you knew that already.”

Soap never puts me down, except to help me back up to street level. Then he sweeps me back up, I think he just wants an excuse to hold me. Not that I really mind it, my leg really hurts. Price lets them know that they have me and I’m safe. That we’re close by, but, by Soap’s fault, they were stranded.

Meanwhile this is happening, Soap is trying to pull my hair back away from my face. Something he’s had to do since I’ve known him, or getting a strand of my hair out of his mouth or somehow up his own nose. He glances over to see Price arguing with MacMillian, probably about how he let Soap ram them with his daughter in the car.

For a small moment, he kisses me gently. With tape residue around my mouth and blood still on my lips. Not caring about any of that, he pulls away. I think Price might have seen him, I’m not exactly sure. “They’re on their way,” Price assures, looking at the two of us. “I take it what I just saw stays between us three?”

I glance at him, “Everyone hates each other enough, at the moment. Plus, with Rorke knowing where we are, we have bigger things we need to work on.”

“Who’s Rorke?” Soap asks.

“The leader of the Federation, if not the leader, he is very high up. He used to be one of the Ghosts, but Elias had to choose to either save him or the rest of their men. He let Rorke fall into a flooded city and looked for weeks. They never found him, and now he’s back. They broke him. If they can break him, they’re going to be able to break anyone.”

“Then I think we need to get you away from them,” Soap starts walking up the street.

“I’m not just going to abandon them like that.”

“What are you going to do?” Price asks, “Limp around, shooting?”

Sighing, “I can’t just desert them in their time of need. They need me, which means I need all of you.”

“Out of the question,” Soap readjusts me.

“And if I go back?”

“Oh, you’re not.” Soap smiled down at me, “After this? You really think your dad is just going to let you waltz right back over to the people who couldn’t even protect you?”

“So, I’m guessing that you think we’ll just leave them to their own devices and they’ll vanish. You and I will get back together and everything will be just one big ol’ party?”

“Not exactly like that, but I’m glad you’re finally seeing things my way.”

“Not happening, Soap. You know I can’t just leave them like that. You know my dad can’t just leave men behind either. If that means defying him and you to help them is the only way to get any help, then so be it.”

“We’ll just see, won’t we, darling?” Soap winks at me as a truck pulls up. My dad nearly falls out of the passenger seat, gripping his arm. “What happened?”

“I got shot in the arm, but that doesn’t matter,” he pushes my hair back, “Are you alright, my Princess?”

“As good as I can be.”

Keegan gets out of the car behind them, he runs up to us and hugs me as best as he can. Trying to take me out of Soap’s grip, “I got her now,” he almost growls.

“Haven’t you played any video games?” Soap simply walks around them, “The savior carries the Princess, as MacMillian just called her. So, why don’t you get back into your little jeep and we’ll follow, Luigi.”

Keegan’s never looked so mad in my life. “I always hated Mario.” He grumbles, walking back to his car.

Chapter Text

Soap sets me down on the couch of the One-Four-One base, my medical bag in my lap. “Dad, come here,” I start pulling out things.

MacMillian sits down next to me, removing his shirt. He was shot in the upper arm, “How the hell did all of that happen?”

“Our alarm didn’t go off for some reason,” Elias was wiping some of the blood off his hands.

“Cassidy could’ve died,” Soap growls at them, gripping the back of the couch behind me.

“Don’t you think we know that?” Hesh asks, tying his boot.

“She would’ve been just fine here, but no. You guys couldn’t even keep her safe.” Ghost is acting like a child.

“Oh, bullshit,” Merrick barks, “You guys couldn’t even be honest enough with her. Do you know the hell she went through?”

“Shut— “Ghost began.

“Do you?!”

“I’m pretty fucking well aware of the pain she went through, you fucking moron.”

“Oh, he’s the moron?” Logan stands from the floor, “How about ya’ll are the morons? Couldn’t even keep yourselves safe. Yet, somehow, we’re the morons.”

“Shut your mouth, you bloody wanker,” Gaz stares them down.

“At least one of us doesn’t think it’s fucking Halloween!”

“Shut the fuck up!” I scream, trying to suture my dad’s arm. “You all need to grow the fuck up and think about what the fuck just happened. Rorke fucking knows where we are, he knows that you’re helping us. Think he won’t come after you guys next?”

The room is quiet for a moment, nothing being audible except for my dad muttering under his breath. He’s always hated needles, said it was like being stung by a bee over and over. “Then we should leave.” He looks at me, “Say goodbye to your little friends.”

“That’s not happening, dad,” I bandage his arm.

“You don’t have a choice.”

“Oh, but I do,” I start to fix my leg, “I’m an adult and I’m not just going to abandon them in their time of need. If you guys want to, I’m not going to stop you.”

“You couldn’t even remember to take the roast out of the oven, and you think that you’ll be good to do this?”

“I forgot about the roast because you all were suffocating me,” I look at him, “You taught me an ally is an ally and we are to help them any way that we can.”

“Tweedy— “He looked at me.

“Any way.”

Looking down at the floor, he rolls his shoulders. “Fine.”

“Are you serious?” Soap asks.

“We can’t just leave them to die, y’know?”

“But they have Military help,” Soap countered.

“But you guys don’t,” I bandage my leg, “They’re going to come after you, after they murder us. They saw you help us; you think you’re going to be safe?”

“We can leave this area.”

“Then leave, you bunch of fucking cowards.” I stand, Keegan wrapping an arm around my torso. “You all flee, it’s what you’re good at doing to me, anyway.”

The room falls completely silence, the acid of my words hanging in the air to coat my former unit. That might have been a little bit too harsh, but it’s true. They left me alone and the Ghosts are all I had left afterwards. “I am not a coward,” Roach mutters, picking at a loose thread on his sleeve.

“That’s the way it is?” Ghost asks, looking at me. “You blackmail us into helping these wankers? Isn’t that a little low of you?”

“Not at all,” I shoot daggers right back at him, “What’s low is you guys were soldiers at some point and your willingness to just give up on allies who need support is astonishing. I thought the One-Four-One was there for anyone who needed their help. How are they so different from the Marines or the Rangers?”

They have nothing to say as they look at me, my father shaking his head slightly. “I’ll help you, Tweedy.”

“I will too,” Price nods to me.

“Alright,” Griggs stands, “I’m in your corner as well.”

“I’ll help!” Roach jumps up.

The three stubbornnest people in the room don’t say anything, just sharing looks with one another. Soap looks to me, wanting nothing to do with the Ghosts, but everything to do with me. “I guess I’ll be of assistance.”

“I guess I’m kind of inclined to now,” Gaz adjusts his hat.

Ghost sits there, his arms crossed like a stubborn child. Wanting so badly to just let everyone else take part and for him to ignore it like nothing was there. He couldn’t, not wanting Cassidy to think he’s a cowardly prick. “Right then,” he looks at us, “Guess we’re back at the helm.”

“Just like the old days!” Roach cheers.

“The Military won’t know of us helping,” MacMillian states, “They can’t.”

“No worries,” Elias looks over at him, “We’ll just say you’re loyalists or something along those lines.

“What are we up against?” Price sits down.

“Something on a larger scale,” I examine my watch, “Not exactly Makarov big, but more like Alejandro Rojas big. Or Roba. But they’re highly trained and ready to die for Rorke. Rorke is ready to kill all of us at the drop of a hat. We’re going to be evenly matched.”

“So, our approach?” Gaz asks.

“We hit them in the heart,” Elias points on a map, “With everything we’ve got.”

“And what do they have?”

“A lot,” Logan is honest, “But if two of you would accompany me, we can take one of their tanks.”

“I’ll help with the tank,” Griggs assures.

“Got me there too.” Ghost nods.

“Then the rest of us sneak in the back, they start from the front and we hit them while they don’t know we’re here,” MacMillian says, “Kill them all, weaken them. Then make our way to this Rorke fellow.”

“Sounds like we have a plan,” I smile.

Chapter Text

I stare blankly ahead of me at all the screens I’ll be behind. I’ve never been in charge of everyone before, being Baseplate to a degree. My leg injury is too severe to be able to go out into the field, so that leaves me in charge of everything. This is my dad’s job, Elias’ job, even Soap’s been in the seat before.

“Daunting isn’t it, darling?” MacMillian places both of his hands on my shoulders, “you’ll do fine, Princess. It’s not as hard as it looks.”

“What if I screw up? It’s not like a simulation, dad, these are real people. This is your life, Price’s life, Soap’s life…,” I glance away, “well, you get the picture.”

“Your dad’s right, Alias,” Elias leans in the doorway, “you can handle this. It’s just like when you’re out in the field, but instead of providing cover, you’ll be providing everything we need. You can do this.”

MacMillian’s eyes glance over his shoulder, “Aye, baby girl.”

“Goin’ to take charge, midget?” Ghost pokes his head through the door.

I inhale sharply as I go into our briefing room, papers shaking slightly in my hands. If anything bad happens, I’ll be responsible for anyone who gets hurt or even worse. The gravity of this weighs so heavy on my shoulders that I think they’re both going to pop out of their sockets. This was more than being in charge in the field, this was being the field.

At the front of the room, I can feel every single pair of eyes while I pretend to shuffle the papers. I’ve never been above my dad, or Price, or Soap, or Elias. But here I was, taking their seat because they’re able-bodied. Why couldn’t Rorke shoot me in like the arm or something? I can work through that pain.

“So, uh,” I finally look up, “We’ve had some of the other soldiers loyal to the Ghosts watching the compound where Rorke is supposed to be. They’ve seen him enter the main building, but never leaving the area. So, unless he leaves between now and when we get there, Rorke is there.”

Stepping backwards to show the multiple photos we’ve gotten, “There’s four smaller buildings around the compound, the main building is where Rorke should be. This isn’t some makeshift place either, this is their main base. They’ll be more defensive than normal, keeping that fuckface hiding in the middle building safe.”

“Since Logan, Ghost and Griggs have repossessed one of their tanks a couple days ago, they’ll be assigned to building one, north east corner after shoving the tank down their throats. As for the other corner of the front, I think it’d be best for Roach, Merrick and Hesh to handle that building.”

“Wait, why do I get sandwiched by them?” Roach raises his hand.

“Gary,” my voice stern, “not the time.”

“Fine….”

I clear my throat, “Since the last two have to be done the quietest, I chose the six I felt were the best for that.”

“I’m quiet!” Hesh argues.

“Oh, yeah, totally. You didn’t blow Merrick and I’s covers a few years ago because you sneezed. Man, you’re so quiet, we should call you Hush,” I snap.

“Point taken…” Hesh mutters.

“Elias, Price and Gaz with take the building south east,” I point on the map.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Price puts his hands up, “why not have Mac, Soap and I together?”

Sighing heavily, they want me to be in charge and they’re complaining all the way.

Gripping a pen in my hand, “Uncle Price, I mean this with all the love in the world, but since their building is so far out, they’ll be leaning on sniping. Soap, dad and Keegan are better shots than you are.”

“Bloody bullshit!” Price stands up, “I taught everything that boy knows!” His finger points at Soap.

“Student becomes the master, eh?” Soap smiles as he leans back in his chair.

“AM I IN FUCKING CHARGE OR AM I NOT IN FUCKING CHARGE?!”

Price slowly sits down, “Alright, alright…”

I run my hand through my hair, “Last building, I already said who’s doing what. If there is any switching or trading places, I will end every last one of you.”

“This is a solid plan, darling,” MacMillian looks over the board, “and I’m not saying that because I’m part of the best team.”

“Best team? We stole a fucking tank!” Logan shouts as he stands up.

I watch as the men argue with each other, every single one of them. Why they’re better and that their team is the best, talking the others up to support their arguments. I don’t know whether to be annoyed or happy they’re somewhat getting along. Kind of teetertottering it, honestly.

“I’m glad we’re all settled,” I clasp my hands.

No one even bothers to look in my direction while they get louder, causing me to shake my head. I slip out of the room, back into the room with the monitors. Not only will I be taking care of them, but I’ll be also handling every other solider as well. The vehicles, the plan, arranging pickups and drop offs. The whole thought making me dizzy.

“You’ll do fine,” Soap’s voice startles me slightly, “I was anxious when I had to do it.”

“Really?” I look at him, “you sounded so confident.”

He chuckles, “Well, I couldn’t sound like my voice was cracking or something. It really is easier than it looks, especially since we’ll control the soldiers who are helping us directly.”

My hand rubs against the back of my leg, “I hate that I’m going to be stuck here while you guys go and have all the fun.”

“I’ll bring you back a souvenir, love.”

I don’t look at him, “Thanks, I suppose.”

“I’ll make sure we don’t grab the same thing,” Keegan walks over to us, “can’t clash either.”

Rolling my eyes, “I hope you all bury your emotional bullshit during this.”

“Always,” Soap stands up, “we never treated each other better while out in the field together, no matter how much we love each other,” he saunters out of the room.

My mind gets caught on how ‘love’ wasn’t past tense, even though he was right. I still love him, and I’m always going to. It’s hard not to, but I still care very deeply for Keegan.

His sight is on the doorway, “You didn’t put me and him together for a reason, right? Like this is supposed to make us best buds when we get back?”

“No, I just know you two and my dad were the best call for that. I wish everyone would just take what I gave them. I know everyone’s strengths and weaknesses.”

“I think it’s just mixing us all together; it could be a good thing if everyone else saw it.”

“Nah, this is like mixing Skittles and M&Ms. No matter how careful you are, it’s going to suck,” Ghost jokes from the doorway, “and yes, I’m kidding. We gotta get going, not a whole lot of time.”

Keegan nods once, “I’ll see you when I get back, babe,” he leans down to kiss me.

“Not in front of Cass, Keegan!” Ghost mocked, hiding his face with his hands.

Sighing extremely loudly, Keegan walks towards Ghost. He stops to look at him, “I hope you’re aware of how much I hate you.”

“But we could be bffs! I already have my own mask and everything.”

“I fucking hate you,” he pushes Ghost out of the way.

I couldn’t help laughing at the two of them, “Gonna come kiss your troops good luck?” Ghost spins me around in the chair.

“Why are you acting weird?” I ask as I stand.

“Break the tension honestly,” Ghost mutters, “it’s been a bit for us. You know, the whole war thing. It’s like riding a bike and all, but it doesn’t mean I’m not a little anxious.”

“How cute, Simon,” I giggle as I step around him.

“Piss off.”

Everyone is all geared up and ready to go. Standing in their little cliques, which is adorable. They look like teenagers, really annoying teenagers, whom I still love. Even my dad and Elias are joking around with each other. Keegan and Soap were being civil, I think. I can’t hear their conversation, but they’re not yelling at each other which is enough.

I turn the lights on and off quickly to get their attentions. “Be careful, please. I know you’re all grown, and think you’re tough, but you’re not invincible. Also, remember, while you’re out there, you’re not the One-Four-One. You’re not the Ghosts. You are a band of brothers who need to stop Rorke from fucking things up more than he already has.”

“Of course, darling,” MacMillian adjusted his sniper on his back.

Roach mockingly starts a round of applause, and all the other assholes join in on it because they’re all dicks. “Best speech ever, mom!” He sniffles.

“One for the books!” Merrick raises his water bottle.

“I hate all of you so much.”

“Now, now,” MacMillian settles them down, “this is not me being a smartarse, okay, Tweedy?”

“Yeah, what?”

MacMillian stands up straight, raising his hand towards his face to salute me. His hand lingers, next to his eyebrows. Technically the highest ranked in the room, everyone else follows him. All of them genuinely saluting me, waiting for me to dismiss them.

Smiling lightly, “Dismissed,” I drop my salute.

With nothing more than I nod, I watch the group exit the building. As the footsteps become silent, I take my place behind the monitors again. It’ll be some time before the party really pops off, but I’m still getting relay from the scouts we sent out. Mixed in with other soldiers getting supplies together and going over the plan again.

The main monitor in front of me pops up, showing me my boys’ locations on the map. Along with the side chat channel we have just for us, not the other soldiers. Seeing their names on the screen is heavy on me, knowing that if I planned one thing wrong, they suffer the consequences of my stupidity. 

Logan, Griggs, and Ghost are in their own heli, going to where they stashed the tank a few days earlier. The splitting now showing on the monitor, their three locations different than the others. Soon enough, the others will split from each other. When the split happens, it makes my anxiety heighten.

The group gets smaller and smaller, further, and further away from each other. I know the compound isn’t huge or anything but knowing they’re not all together to cover every inch of their bodies made me feel sick in a sense. Four groups of three people, my family, my friends, and everything that I live for.

“Hey, mom?” Roach’s voice asks, “you forgot to pack our lunches.”

Furrowing my brows as they laugh, “I also forgot to mention that I’m sending you all into foster care when you get home.”

“What the fuck did I do?” Griggs is heard next, “I know you probably couldn’t see it, but I wasn’t laughing, mother.”

“Oh, bullshit!” Logan is still laughing, “you have tears coming from your eyes, dickwad.”

“Tears of you guys talking to mom like that,” he fakes an obnoxious sniffle.

Sighing loudly, “Can you guys focus now? I can’t give you away if you don’t come back to me.”

“She’s right,” Soap agrees, “fun time is over, we’re getting close.”

Chapter Text

A good amount of time has passed, the party is now on going. All of them are finally back together, kind of. They’re all on the compound, anyway. It’s reassuring to hear them working together over the net, watching out for each other calms me down a tad. Dad and Soap were right, though, this is easier than it looks. It’s not easy, but it’s not as hard as I thought it would be.

[Logan’s POV]

“Ahaha! Eat shit!” I yell as I run over one of the fleeing soldiers, “can’t outrun me, asshole!”

Ghost is up on the MG, “Told you we need to stop giving him sugar, Griggs. Little bloke can’t handle it.”

Griggs stifles a laugh, “I’m not the one who supplies it.”

“Yeah, Griggs doesn’t eat Candy Corn, Halloween boy.”

“Eh,” Ghost pauses, “I don’t eat that candle wax either. Rather you say Circus Peanuts than that gross shit.”

Griggs is quiet for a moment as things start to get dicey on our end, the RPGs are appearing more frequently. We’re not far from the transfer point. We pass this tank to another group of soldiers, and then the three of us take their jeep and head to the building we were assigned to by Alias.

Quickly pulling up behind the building the other soldiers are waiting at, the six of us all trade places. They get the tank and now we have the jeep. We’re running a few minutes behind schedule, it doesn’t sound like a lot, but it actually is. We’re just lucky we’re not too far from the action. I can’t wait, by the end of today, Rorke will finally be dead.

“You guys think everything is going okay?” I look from the passenger seat.

Before they can answer, there’s a loud explosion from Hesh's side. Well, where they’re supposed to be. My heart starts racing because Hesh is over there, what if that was them getting blown up? Or they got caught?

“ROACH, YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN WITH THAT GRENADIER, BUDDY!” Merrick’s voice shakes slightly.

My heart slows down at Hesh’s laugh echoing through, “That was amazing! He damaged one of their helis with a fucking grenadier!”

“You owe me fifty bucks, Hesh!” Roach chortles next, another explosion being heard in the background.

“Calm down with that,” Ghost hops over the fence, “we’re at our position, be mindful of that and don’t fucking kill us, Roach. I know the crazy shit you know how to do; you can measure your dick later.”

“Knew you’d know what his dick would look like,” Soap shoots, very surprisingly.

The com system erupts with laughter from the other soldiers, and yes, MacMillian is laughing as well. “FUCK YOU!” Ghost yells.

“Boys, boys, boys!” Alias’s voice echoes through, “can we save the joking when you’re not in the position to be fucking murdered?”

“Oh, I’ll murder that fuckin’ poof later, don’t you worry,” Ghost growls.

“Pretty sure she’s proof I’m not,” Soap retorts, before grunt, “OW!”

“Mind my daughter’s words, boy,” MacMillian growls.

I have no idea what poof means, and I figure it’s not the time to ask. Not when I’m within Ghost’s reach, and not when Alias can hear me not focusing as hard as I should be. Though, if it’s good, I’ll have a new insult to throw at Hesh!

[Merrick’s POV]

I thought having Logan and Hesh together was a handful, but this fucking Gary kid is somehow more nuts! This whole time, I thought he was a little chihuahua that somehow got mixed in with a bunch of rottweilers. Nope, he’s just as insane, if not more to a degree, as the rest of the One-Four-One. I’m going to get blown up if he’s not a little more careful. Or Hesh needs to stop making bets with him.

Someone who refers to Alias as being a mom figure would have to be a bit mad, I suppose. Maybe that’s where he got it from? Alias is pretty crazy when it comes to explosives too, just more careful about it.

“So, who taught Roach about explosives?” I ask.

“Mom and dad!” Roach quips, looking over at me.

“Dad?”

“I told you to stop calling me ‘dad’, Roach,” Soap sounds irritated.

“But dad,” Roach fakes another sniffle, “why won’t you love me?”

“Because you’re overbearingly annoying, Gary.”

“I wanted to put him up for adoption,” Gaz chimes in, “but mom said no.”

“Anyway!” Roach continues, “if you think I’m insane when it comes to explosives, you haven’t seen Captain MacTavish with his C-Four!”

“He’s right, though,” Griggs answers.

I’m more eased by the fact that everyone in the One-Four-One survived him, Soap and Alias, so I think our odds are pretty high for being just fine. “Alias, when can we start moving in on the main building?”

“It’s a fortress right now,” she pauses, “from what I’m hearing, they’re dug in deep. Sandbags, trenches, if they added a drawbridge, it really would be a castle. They’re not getting through, so I want to hold off on sending you guys until all of you are able to get in. I don’t think they’ll get in without you guys.”

“Think they knew we were coming?” MacMillian asks.

“Nah, I’m looking through bodycams. This was set up in a hurry, the sandbags, anyway, but those trenches are real trenches. Not the kind that gets dug quickly either. The holes are paved with concrete. They were ready for anyone to do something, we’re just the lucky ones.”

“Holy shit!” Hesh calls out, making me turn around.

Roach yanked him to the floor with him, a barrage of bullets almost peppering him. “They have snipers on our side, top of the building, crouched down,” he relays, “can you guys take them out?”

“You fucking saved me, dude,” Hesh’s voice quivers slightly.

“Brothers, remember?”

All three end up falling off the roof, plummeting below and with a luck, the three bodies fell on some of the other soldiers below, distracting them. “We got them, right?” Keegan asks.

“Hell, yeah you did!” I’m amazed by the sync effort, “you three should go out for synchronized sniping. Bodies hit the other soldiers too.”

“Couldn’t have done that with Price,” MacMillian jests.

“Oh, fuck you, Mac,” Price growls, “bet that you took out the closest person, you dinosaur.”

“Fuck you too.”

Keegan and Soap are actually laughing together, which I’m sure Alias is happy to hear. “He did!” Keegan laughs louder.

“Fucking dinosaur,” Soap cackles, “called your dad a fucking dinosaur!”

“The two dinosaurs and the two jackasses are certainly behaving more like children, than our actual children.” Alias comments.

“Speaking of dinosaurs, you okay, dad?” Logan snickers.

“I didn’t even do anything!” Elias retorts.

“Don’t worry, you’re not doing anything now,” Gaz shoots.

“I’ll remember that, Gaz.”

“Well, I’d hope you’d be able to remember that. Memory going already?”

Somehow, we’re all able to joke and bicker as we fight to kill Rorke. Moving seamlessly as we make fun of each other while taking out anyone in our way. I gotta say, having them around makes things a bit more fun and a lot easier. Instead of just us five going through, we have another seven highly trained soldiers. Mowing over everyone in our path. They’re more helpful allies than any other we’ve had.

[Gaz POV]

I slide down behind my cover as I reload my rifle. Not going to lie, I though there’d be a little more resistance. It seems everyone else has run into walls, but here we are, picking off a handful of idiots. Literal idiots. They didn’t even notice us taking them out one by one, since they thought they were getting shot by people outside the building. Took out four before they realized we were behind them.

“Wait,” I begin as I reload my rifle, “who are the kids?”

“Well, which side are we talking about?” Cass asks.

“What do you mean which side?”

“My little Ghosts or my little One-Four-Ones?”

“One-Four-Ones.”

The com is quiet for a moment, “Technically, you all are. Excluding Soap, dad and Price.”

“How is Soap not a kid?! He’s just as immature!” Griggs argues.

“Because it’d be super fucking weird to call someone I had sex with my kid, Gerald.”

“Oh, God…” Keegan mutters.

“Sorry, Keegan…”

Soap’s trying to stifle laughter, I can hear it clearly. It’s funny though. “Exactly, that would be weird,” his voice is tight from holding it in.

“See?! That does make Soap dad!” Roach jests.

“Got a point,” Keegan answers, “that does make you their ‘daddy’, Soap.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Soap snaps, “don’t give that boy ideas.”

“I’ll stop off to get you a ‘best dad’ mug for your birthday, Soap,” Ghost laughs, “maybe I’ll hand paint it.”

“And it’ll be fun to shoot during target practice.”

“Mom, can we live with you instead?” I snicker slightly, “daddy is just so mean to us.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Logan buts in, “that makes Keegan step-daddy.”

Everyone laughs extremely loudly, hearing Keegan stutter through their voices. “They’re your problem now, Keegan,” Soap chokes out through laughter.

“Oh, no, motherfucker,” Keegan retorts, “that makes you step-daddy to the Ghosts’ kids. Now, they’re your problem.”

“I’m confused, does that make Mac a grandfather?” Merrick asks.

“Leave me out of this, I’m too young to be a grandfather,” MacMillan defends himself.

“More like too old,” Price chuckles, “face it, they’ll be wondering why they have a dinosaur in their lives.”

“Too young? You were on Cass and me about you wanting pups from us for a literal year. Making your want loud and clear, as I recall,” Soap adds in.

“Nobody asked you, you ass.”

“What the fuck does pups mean?” Hesh talks for the first time in forever.

“Kids,” Cass simply answers, “pups is just another way to say kids where we’re from.”

“Eh, I don’t call kids pups,” I argue.

“You’re not Scottish, Gaz.”

“And? I still- “a bullet grazes my upper arm, “motherfucker!”

“Gaz?” Cass’ worried voice asks.

I look at the graze, and it’s not bad. It hurts like a bitch, sure, but I’ll live. “I’m okay,” I grab a wrap from one of my pockets, “just a graze, I promise. Not even a deep one either. You guys get him?”

Elias nods as he helps dress my wound, “Price got him dead center of his forehead.”

“We’re through our building, dear,” Price is reloading, “everyone else?”

“Ah, we’re still dealing with our building a tad,” MacMillian reports.

“We’re good to go,” Ghost states.

“Yeah, mom,” Roach begins, “we’re all done here too.”

“Okay,” Cass goes silent for a few minutes, “the other three groups, go to the main building and help the rest break through. As for dad, Soap and Keegan, you guys get there as soon as you can. We’re going to burn through all our ammunition if we continue to let the regular soldiers fight the way they are.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I half-way joke, “on our way.”

“Be careful, you’re going into the forest.”

[MacMillian’s POV]

I look over at the two boys I was placed with, very awkwardly too. I know they sound like they’re getting along, but the two are arguing with their mics off. Every little step, the other thinks that the other did something wrong. It’s extremely annoying, but I don’t know what to do outside of my own looks. They need to pack this bullshit up and focus.

“I could’ve made that shot,” Soap glances over at Keegan.

“Then why the fuck didn’t you take it?”

“Thought I’d give you a chance to shine,” he spits, “regretting it now since we’re last to finish.”

“Well, gee,” Keegan slides behind cover, “how nice of you. I’ll be sure to tell Cassidy how much you helped me.”

“Don’t try to use her as a threat, you dick.”

“Her? You mean my girlfriend?”

I look over at Soap, who’s eyes could be on fire with how much that comment bothered him. I know how much he loves my daughter, what he’s gone through with my daughter, what he created with my daughter, and how he’d do anything to have her back.

Them using her like that is starting to piss me off, treating my Princess like she’s some trophy to be won. I know she’s quite the catch, I guess. She’s beautiful, smart and an extraordinarily strong woman. Gets all that from me, of course.

The small conversations I’ve been having with her, I picked up on something. Might be nothing, but when I hear her talk about Keegan, it’s nothing close to how she’d talk about Soap. Even at the beginning of their relationship, her tone is different. The way she conveys her ‘love’ for him seems… phoned in.

Maybe I’m just over analyzing our conversations, which I’ve done a few times. Partially my job to be hypervigilant and I don’t know how to turn that off. She mentions how she care for him, and I’ve heard her tell Keegan she loves him, but it’s not sitting right with me. It’s just… off.

When she and Soap first started dating, when she’d talk about him, she’d have this stupid smile on her face. Going on and on about how sweet he was, how smart he was and how cute he was. Those conversations make me shudder when I really think about them, because she would just go on and on and on and on until I finally told her to shut up about him.

Did she listen? For about ten minutes before she found a way to go back to talking about him. This went on for almost a year, much to my dismay. Everything she spoke about laced him all through her being, the two entwining within each other’s lives until they couldn’t mesh any closer.

With Keegan, though… that tone isn’t on the same level. She doesn’t gush about him for hours; she doesn’t talk about how he makes her feel and she rarely brings him up at all. I know it could be that she’s older, but she wasn’t a teenager when she and Soap met. She was an adult in her twenties and so was he. So, the puppy love excuse doesn’t cut it.

It could be that she didn’t date anyone else before Soap, so I only got used to him. Not really used to him, but I had to accept that they were in love with each other. You could clearly see it when they were together, the way they looked at each other said it all. It was like their eyes could’ve become hearts if they were in a cartoon, and I do mean every time. So did their body language, written all over the two love-struck idiots.

When I look at her with Keegan… I mean, you could somewhat see they were together. If she showed the same love towards him, it wouldn’t bother me. If she’s happy with him, then she’s happy with him and I had to suck it up. I can’t bar her from dating him, and he’s not a bad lad at all. I’ve been really trying to accept him, talk to him more, get to know him more and do everything I could to ease my daughter’s stress.

As I said, I could be over thinking the whole thing. Reading in between the lines when they hold no hidden context. I’m sure if she didn’t love him, she would’ve gone back to Soap in a heartbeat. She didn’t, she’s still with him and I just have to trust her judgement. I can’t help but notice the looks he still gives her, and the looks she tries to hide towards him.

Soap was a broken mess for years, knowing that she was out there. She was still alive, and alone. We couldn’t even find him for a while on the day they planned to marry on. He just wanted to be alone because of how much pain he was in. They were in the middle of planning, deep planning too boot. The day comes, there’s no dress, there’s no tears, there’s nothing for him.

When I finally did find him, up in a fucking tree by the way, I tried to comfort him the best I could. I brought up how I didn’t have my daughter either, that I actually was looking forward to giving her away. Walking her down the aisle, arm in arm, handing her off to him. That I felt beyond comfortable doing that because I knew that they loved each other.

Which didn’t help, unfortunately. I then had to listen to his rage filled tangent for twenty minutes. Retelling me everything that I already knew, everything that he’s yelled about before and  I kept my mouth shut the entire time. Flashing the ring at me, bringing up the proposal and he had the right to be mad. Still, it was annoying.

“Would you get the fuck out of my way?” Soap asks Keegan, shoving past him into the main building. The others actually broke through, and we’re all near each other again. They’re going to hear these fucking idiots going back and forth. At least I’m not suffering alone anymore.

“I knew you two weren’t getting along,” Price looks over his shoulder, “hiding it well, I suppose.”

“Not my fault he’s fucking useless,” Soap growls, “should’ve kept Price with us. This asshole was missing every other shot.”

“Oh, why don’t you eat a fucking grenade,” Keegan shoves him back.

“After you, Princess.”

Roach rolls his eyes, “Glad we agreed to stop joking around on the com. Mom doesn’t need to hear this.”

Ghost shakes his head, “How are we doing this? They’re going to come check the basement sooner or later.”

I roll my shoulders, “We move together, we have no idea what’s waiting for us. But the fucking bickering between you two ends here. Do you fucking understand me?”

Soap glances away, “Yes, sir.”

Keegan is glaring, “Yeah, sure. As long as he shuts the fuck up, I’ll shut the fuck up.”

“God, you two are acting like a pair of fucking women, I swear,” Griggs mutters as he takes point.

Chapter Text

[Chapter Thirteen]

[Keegan’s POV]

I hate this fucker; I hate him so fucking much. I can’t wait to tell Alias that we gotta ship out after this, for something not Rorke or Federation related. Then we can finally move the fuck on, and she can come visit her other friends, family, and this stupid asshole occasionally. He doesn’t deserve her; he broke her heart and I’m in the middle of fixing it. He needs to fucking accept that.

Alias is mine now, I love her, and she loves me. He can kick himself as much as he wants to for letting her go. This over entitled little prick thinks that he’s allowed to just take her back. Well, too bad, Soapy boy, she doesn’t want to go back to you. This is something he needs to get through his thick skull.

Soap kept making comments that really pissed me off. Of course, he doesn’t say that on the com, but he made it in passing. Most of them out of her dad’s earshot, doesn’t have the balls to talk like that to him. Especially the whole dad joke thing, after she made a point of stating they had sex. Which isn’t a surprise to me, I think the worst thing he said was, ‘anything that she does that you like, just remember I taught her that’. It’s gross.

And of course, God shows that he hates me too because I’m pinned with this prick. Things kind of went from okay to fucking garbage. We’re split, and the resistance waited inside. Those outside? Nothing more than bullet sponges, I suppose. I figured this was going to get more difficult since the Federation soldiers are trained by Rorke himself.

“Fuck!” Elias calls out, “they shot my fucking hand!”

“Dad?!” Logan is pinned with Gaz.

I watch as Roach quickly crawls towards Elias. Apparently, Alias was teaching him medical education for him to deal with smaller injuries. “Don’t worry, Logan, I’ve got it.”

“Thanks Roach…”

“You still good to shoot?” MacMillian asks.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Darling,” he peeks around his cover, “you have a medical transport?”

“What? Why? Who got hurt?” Alias’ tries to hide the panic in her voice.

“Nothing huge, but Elias’ hand is out of commission. He can’t shoot, he needs to get out of here.”

“Y-yeah, we’ve got a vehicle out the west entrance. Couple smaller helis to bring the more severe injuries closer to me. We’ve got the outside of the compound secured, so just quickly get out there, Elias.”

Elias looks around, “You guys make sure that fucker dies, okay?”

“I’ll shoot him twice for you, dad,” Hesh tries to joke.

There wasn’t a retort as Elias made his way safely and quickly out of the building. They’ve got the higher ground, we try to suppress them for someone else to move up, but we can’t get them all preoccupied.

“Even with the help of the supposedly dead Task Force One-Four-One, you idiots still can’t get me,” Rorke taunts through a loudspeaker, “I mean, come on. One of the deadliest task forces within recent memory and they’re this awful.”

“Oh, fuck this guy,” Ghost’s teeth sound grit.

Roach glances around, “How’d he know that?”

“I don’t know,” I mutter, “I hate this dude.”

“This is hilarious, they’re just so bad. I thought the remaining Ghosts were a laughingstock, but One-Four-One is giving them a run for their money.”

“Oh, yeah?!” Griggs yells, “stop hiding like a little bitch, then!”

There’s no retort, probably because he can’t hear us. He would’ve answered that if he heard it, which would’ve been great. Griggs had a point; we’re fighting and he’s hiding. He’s talking shit about us, but he’s playing victim to all of his soldiers. He’s such a douche.

I can see Merrick hiding with Griggs, he keeps looking over the barrier. “Don’t even try it, Merrick, you’re in the middle. You won’t get near where we need to go.”

“I can make it,” Merrick looks at me, “we can’t wait around forever. Just all of you cover me, alright?”

“No, it’s too risky,” Ghost warns next, “you get shot out there, you’ll be open to more than one shot.”

“Merrick, please listen to what they’re saying,” Alias speaks for the first time in a while.

“Don’t worry, I got this.”

Merrick isn’t going to back down, so I ready my sniper. I glance at Soap, “You take the left side of the balcony, and I’ll hit the right. He’s going to do this no matter what we say.”

Soap glances back, “Sounds like a plan.”

“Lad…” MacMillian says, “if you get hit once, you’ll get hit multiple times.”

“Just cover me!” Merrick shouts, anger laced through his words, “we gotta do something!”

Shaking my head, “On three… One… Two…,” I adjust my sniper, “Three!”

Merrick bolts over the barrier he was hiding behind, running right through the middle. Just like we said, he gets hit in his knee, “Shit!”

“Jesus,” Ghost quickly slips around his own barrier. We’re able to keep them off of Ghost, at least. I catch one not being covered; my bullet hits him in the chest as his bullet knocks Ghost over slightly. “Fuck! My fucking shoulder!”

Ghost is able to tug Merrick out of the line of fire, “Next time, how about you fucking listen?!” He yells at Merrick.

“G-Ghost,” Roach is panicked, “is it bad? How bad?”

“Merrick and I need to get out of here, but I can’t get him out by myself. Not with my fucked shoulder.”

“I got him, just get over here carefully,” Gaz is closest to the door, “my graze hurts like a bitch and firing my rifle is nearly impossible with the pain.”

Watching them hobble out makes me realize that we’re getting thinner and thinner. They’re going to pick us all off until we’re all too hurt to fight. There’s something we need to do but running out like Merrick did could be a death sentence. If I hadn’t seen that guy, he could’ve killed Merrick.

“Ooo, down four! How about we call this a draw, huh?” Rorke laughs.

“The fucking cameras,” Roach growls, “they know exactly where we fucking are because of those fucking cameras.”

“What cameras?” Price asks.

“They’re in the top corners, three behind me. We need to get rid of those, or else they’ll always know what we’re doing and what we’re planning. I just noticed them after Ghost got shot.”

The rest of us scan over the ceiling and I feel like a fucking retard. They’re not even hidden, though I suppose we were busy with not getting shot. All of us are able to take them out, and hopefully that’s it. “Well, now you guys are just cheating. I’ll give it to you since you’re handicapped.”

“Can we find out where the fucking speakers are?” Hesh snaps, “I hate this arrogant douche.”

The barrage of bullets stops, probably because Rorke can’t feed them where we are or what we’re doing. We can’t risk us all again, and I really fucking hate to say this, but Soap and I could probably get through. We’re closest to the door, so if they suppressed them long enough, he and I could get to Rorke.

“Roach, do you think you could slip through?”

Roach peeks over his cover, “Yeah, I think so. Why?”

“Soap and I… We can get over too with the minimal damage. The three of us could get through while you guys distract the morons up there.”

“Why do you need me?”

“If someone gets hurt out here, they can get out. If Soap or I get hurt, we don’t have anything we can do. You have basic medical training, right?”

“I guess.”

“Please be careful,” Alias once again chimes in, “I already got four of you over here, and I don’t want to have more over here. We need to end this stupid fuck.”

Soap looks at me, “On three… one… two… three!”

The three of us quickly scramble to the door, the top finally being able to be distracted by us since they can’t see our every move. Miraculously, the three of us get through. I don’t know if they saw us or not, but hopefully they can keep their attention. Sharing a look between us, all we do is nod as we take off towards where Rorke should be.

[Roach’s POV]

I’m trailing behind Soap and Keegan towards where Rorke is hiding. There’s only one place that he’d hide, and I’m starting to think that they haven’t realized we got through. There’s no one standing in our way, the halls eerily empty. For someone who’s hiding like a punk ass bitch, it’s insulting that he’s in charge of anyone.

All I know is Soap and Keegan’s hate is suffocating me. They’re STILL going back and forth and it’s just so embarrassing to hear my superior acting this way. I know Cass is going to be so fucking pissed if she finds out, or she somehow is able to hear it. Though, I think if she could hear it, she would’ve ended it then and there.

We haven’t heard anything from the others, outside of calling targets. I kind of want to turn it off, but I know we can’t because anything and everything can happen. It’s still a little distracting.

Finally reaching the door where he should be, my heart starts racing faster. I can’t wait to kill the fucker for shooting Cass in the fucking leg. I want him dead, and I want him dead now. Yanking her by her hair, tying her up and almost killing her made my blood boil so bad that I’m starting to feel like I’m getting a fever.

“Do you want to kick the door in, or should I?” Keegan snaps, “since you get off on being the ‘hero’ and all of that.”

“Well, you gotta show off for Cass, like usual,” Soap spits back.

“Jesus fucking Christ, could you two shut the fuck up?” My last nerve being struck, “can we remember what’s he done? He shot Cass, Soap. He yanked her around by her hair and hurt her. We can fucking end that cunt and you two can’t shut the fuck up for two minutes.”

The two share a glance, “He’s right… stack up.” Soap is on the left.

Keegan is second, and I’m behind him. Soap kicked the door open, and we busted in. No one was in here, a window open. He snuck out the fucking window, how did Cass not fucking see that. “He’s gone,” I mutter.

“What the fuck do you mean he’s gone?!” Elias still has his headset, “where the fuck did he go?!”

“No one has left,” Cass says, “I’ve got sight around every inch of this place. We would’ve seen him.”

“There’s an open window,” I look out it, “can you see me?”

“Yeah, you’re looking out of the window. I would’ve saw that asshole.”

Keegan kicks a trashcan, “If you just moved faster,” he looks at Soap.

“Me moving faster?” Soap shoves him back, “you missed every other shot, I missed none.”

I grip the bridge of my nose, “This is just fucking great. All that effort, all that ammo, all that planning out the fucking window. Literally. What do we do?” I keep tuning the two of them out behind me, waiting for Cass to think of something. To figure out where he went, because she sees everything around us.

“There’s no way he’s gone. Is there another room he could be in?”

“No, solid room. No other way, other than the window.”

“…I guess we’ll just have to camp out to see him leave. He can’t hide there forever; I even have soldiers tossing the place outside. Looking for anything.”

“That’s all we can do… everyone okay?”

“In quite a bit of pain, yes, we are,” Ghost mutters, “this sucks. I took a shot to the shoulder and he’s still gone. How?”

Sighing, I listen to the others speculate on what could have happened. My brain wants to shut off so bad because I needed him to dead. We needed him dead, and now he’s out and about. No trace left behind.

Their arguing breaks through, and I spin around on my heels to yell at them. The world slows down the moment I do. Rorke pops out behind the desk and is able to get a shot off. Soap shoved Keegan out of the way of the bullet, him getting hit instead.

“Asshole!” Keegan screamed at him, unloading his entire pistol into him.

“SOAP!” I run to him, almost tripping, “Oh, God…”

“Soap?! What happened to Soap?!” Gaz screeches into the mic.

I place my hand tightly against where the bullet hit him, and I think it went through. That’s good, it’s not stuck in him. The bullet struck Soap on the right side of his chest, “C-can you breathe?”

Soap is dazed, “I… I think…”

“Roach…” Cass is struggling to stay levelheaded, “w-what happened?”

“Rorke shot him, but Keegan killed him. We need to get him to you; we need people at the window. You should prep the room.”

“I-I can-“

“Go,” I hear Elias, “I can handle this, you go prep the room.”

Chapter Text

Staring down at the screens for a moment as I see multiple soldiers rush over the side of the compound where the window is. My ears are buzzing again, just like the last time Soap got hurt. The building when he ‘died’.  

I worked as hard as I could to fix him, to save him. My entire being had my dying fiancé’s blood on it, no matter how much I pressed against his chest, it didn’t stop. Seeing the wound on his front hip, all of the crimson dripping off the table. Breaking as I saw the pond of blood under the table, knowing no matter what I did, I was going to lose him.

Elias slightly pushes me away, “Go set the room up, he’ll get here in time, okay?”

“Yeah, Cass,” Ghost pulls me with his good arm.

Shaking my head to gather my thoughts, “Right, right, can you and Gaz handle bringing that black footlocker into the back room? That has everything I need.”

“Course, c’mon,” he pats Gaz’s shoulder on the way out of the room.

I need to pull myself together, it’s not going to be like last time. He’ll be fine, Roach didn’t sound panicked either.

As I start getting everything ready, “Roach, how bad?”

“Right side of the chest, not lung shot, bullet went clean through. Might have to put him under, but that’s at your call, mom.”

“Can you see the exit wound?”

“Yeah,” that’s Keegan, “straight through, but it might’ve caused some damage to his shoulder blade. Can’t lift his arm.”

“Thanks, when you get here, Roach, I need you to be ahead of him. You’ll need to help me, okay?”

“Way ahead of you, Mac, Price and Griggs will be carrying him in. See you in a few.”

Glancing up, Gaz and Ghost set the box down, “Should we just get out of your way, now?” Gaz mutters.

“Just keep a look out for them. Make sure they get him in here.” With nothing more than a nod, they leave the room.

As I set everything up, I try to push all my panic out of my brain. The shot isn’t bad, at least, from what I was told.

Something else keeps pushing up, why the fuck can’t that man stop getting himself hurt? Every other time there’s a group project, something happens to him. How many times have I had to save him? How many times did I have to keep myself together as I worked fast to fix whatever happened?

The entire time I’ve known John, I’ve been right behind him with a med kit. For minor things, and major things. I’ve sewn him up a handful of times and yet, he doesn’t understand to try to be more careful. Which is hard, I know, you can’t control things out there. But if he could just take a small break, I’d really appreciate it.

You’d think after me nagging him for so many years, he’d be more mindful. Then again, it’s never his fault, is it? He’s protected people, even Yuri, which I never understood.

Price had to keep me from murdering him, and I almost did murder him. Seeing his life slipping from his eyes as I throttled him on the floor, I wanted to see it gone. Squeezing so tightly that I could feel my hands getting cramps, but it just made me squeeze harder.

I haven’t thought about that fucker in years, I didn’t accept his little story. Poor little Yuri, Makarov betrayed him too, boo-fucking-hoo, my fucking fiancé was dead. Soap was dead and it was all his fault.

I reminded that little maggot every day what he did to me. What he took from me. What he took from the entire world. He took the love of my life, my soulmate, one of the most dedicated soldiers I had ever met.

I’d even wake him up in the middle of the night, if I was awake from my nightmares, then that little fuck was too.

Drilled it in at every corner, at every turn, at every waking moment of his life. The moment Price wasn’t around, for the first few weeks, I’d try to kill him.

Choking him, coming at him with a knife because we didn’t have bullets to waste, shoving him near high cliffs. I wanted Yuri dead, and knowing Soap didn’t actually die… I still standby what I said and what I did. Not a single regret because he still lied to us.

My darkest moment, the most nefarious thing I’ve ever done, I did to him. After that explosion as we chased after Makarov, he got pinned to a part of rebar. Price went after him; I was standing next to Yuri.

Sure, I could’ve gotten him up easily, with minimal pain. I wasn’t giving Yuri that, I needed him to feel how my own stomach felt when I lost Soap. To feel all the pain his treachery caused me.

Twisting him to make the metal rip his skin, shredding it so nicely as each one of his cries bounced through my ears. I never took joy in hearing wails and screams I’ve caused in my life, but I did when it was him.

The new coat of his blood trailing over the dried, and flakey bits from what happened before. Seeing the flesh split apart with every pull was satisfying.

Tears streaming, the droplets cleaning some of the filth of war from his face. His wrists in my hands as I pulled as I hard as I could, in the wrong directions.

The directions that wouldn’t free him, the directions that caused him so much agony that his screams turned into scratchy nothings. Almost like you could hear the blood vibrating against the hoarse, damaged throat.

It was like I was in autopilot; I couldn’t stop.

I’m torn from my thoughts as Roach runs into the room, which I still set up as I was lost in my memories. Right behind him is Soap, who’s still conscious as he set down before me.

Another flash goes over my eyes, but it’s not from the night I lost him. It was when Shepherd stabbed him, my hands were pressed so hard against where he removed the knife, coating my entire hands with his blood.

I held his head on my lap the entire flight to India, where Nikolai was taking us. He kept coming in and out of consciousness. My hand on his chest, not only to place pressure, but also to be able to feel his breathing. Every breath was felt under my palm, keeping me calm, keeping me in control because I knew he was okay.

[Roach’s POV]

“Can you explain to me why this happens so much, Soap?” Price asks, looking down at his protégé.

I glance up as I finish putting the makeshift bandage on the exit wound, “Maybe we talk about that later?”

“I’m curious as well,” Mac carefully leans Soap back, “you’d think with my daughter’s incessant nagging, it’d get through to you.”

“Mac,” Soap mutters, “I have two additional holes in me right now and I’m in extreme pain. Can we please talk about this later?”

He shakes his head, “Fine, but I want answers later.”

My eyes go to Keegan, whose mask is removed. The other two Ghosts also took their masks off. He’s glaring down at his lap, upset. Probably because Soap just took a bullet for him, which I’m sure pisses him off. It’s not my place to say anything, but Keegan is selfish.

Not just because I want Cass to go back to Soap, just in general. All I’ve heard him say was that she’s ‘his’ and that ‘she’ loves him. Like she’s property, it makes me mad.

I’m not sure how old he is, but you don’t refer to your significant other like that. Even Soap didn’t say that, however, his jokes are a little too much sometimes. Though, that’s pretty much over with, given that we are with Mac.

Soap hates Keegan with a burning passion, more than I’ve ever seen him hate someone. The moment it became clear that Cass had moved on, Soap’s dislike bar exploded.

A few days after we were all brought back together, he was all over her. In ways he could get away without anyone taking notice. Unfortunately for him, I missed nothing. Cass too.

I witnessed and heard what happened in the living room, the same day that Ghost told me about what he saw. How he caught Cass and Soap in the shower together, and he expected me not to believe him.

Our Cass, our loyal Cass, was cheating on Keegan with Soap? Sounded absurd! Told me not to get mad about it, whether it was being mad at her or thinking that he was lying.

Once he explained what happened, and the long walk he had with Soap back home.

Ghost tried scolding him for putting her in the middle like that, manipulating her into that situation. Soap stood his ground that she wanted him, not only in there, but in every way he had her before.

That he had to be blind not to see it between them, her actions speaking on her own lust for him. That he couldn’t understand why she was wasting her time with Keegan, and even asked Ghost to give him a reason that he saw. Of course, Ghost couldn’t.

So, when he finished his story, I told him about what I heard. I was in the kitchen, pulling out the stuff Cass uses when she makes cookies. I figured that she was here, no shame in asking her to make some.

Thinking that I’d have a higher chance of getting a yes if all the ingredients and the measuring stuff were already out, she’d say yes. What I didn’t expect was what happened.

My hand was on the push door when I heard a loud thud, so I peeked. Cass was sitting on the couch, Soap walking over towards her and sitting on the arm of the couch.

I could hear what they were saying, her sarcasm towards him and his annoyance towards her. For a sniper, he wasn’t very vigilant, because I saw him look around after she went back to her book. Didn’t see me.

Next thing I see is him getting on top of her, and I thought about running in to stop it. Waiting to hear her yell or scream at him, she didn’t.

They continued into the conversation, and I felt a tad upset about hearing how she cheated on Dunn with him. I didn’t know him until I met them.

Overall, I didn’t really care about that, given that Dunn was an absolute cunt the last time I saw him, so oh well. He cheated too, probably first.

Soap didn’t seem bothered that she was in a relationship, which is kind of gross.

Cass shouldn’t have done that to Dunn or almost Keegan. She’s such a strong woman, I don’t get how Soap can get through her. I kind of understand Dunn since she never loved him. Never said she did either. I’ve heard her tell Keegan she loves him.

I guess when someone is your first love and someone you wanted to marry, you give in to it. She gave into him, on the couch, in the shower, and any other place they may have messed around at. Not saying there’s more, but I don’t know.

While he could get her to do that, she could always control him. They both knew how to work each other, how to get what they want. Them being in sync with one another is what made our Task Force untouchable. Love’s really weird.

They go back and forth for a moment, kind of childlike, if I’m honest. Her attempting to quiet him with a pillow, only for him to take it from her with no issue. Then she kisses him, and I mean really kisses him. Her hands cupping his face and all.

Soap was able to get her on the floor and I had no idea how far they were actually going. I’ve unfortunately caught them a few times in my life, still scarred. The others too. The couch was in the way, so I was panicking.

Cass wouldn’t do something so dumb as to have sex in the open, especially since Keegan wouldn’t have been the worst person to see it.

Mac or Price could’ve walked in, and Soap would’ve been murdered then and there. Same with Soap, while Price no longer scared him, Mac sure as fuck does.

Mac scares all of us. He may be the oldest, the guy is still a fucking tank. He’s insanely tall, not to mention still lifting weights. He also holds more experience than all of us in the field.

He could seriously hurt all of us, Ghosts included. I’ve seen him go after people, I’ve seen his ‘interrogation’ techniques and I’ve seen the ways he’s threatened Soap.

While I was able to sigh in relief to see Cass getting away from him, the door behind me opened. Logan was coming in, going into the living room. They were both still on the floor when he did, and I couldn’t let him see that.

He’d tell everyone what he saw and what they were doing. I couldn’t let him do that; I couldn’t let him make even more problems.

So, I improvised. As soon as I heard him, I picked up an egg and threw it against his face. How those two didn’t hear him yelling at me about it, I’ll never know. I guess the conversation was taking all of the attention.

Grabbed the flour, threw the entire bag at him. We went back and forth throwing stuff at each other and were finally stopped by Ghost and Merrick.

That’s not all I’ve seen, either. Those two still look at each other the way they always have. The two of them were together for two years before I met them, and they hid it well… in uniform, anyway.

We all went on leave with each other a bunch of times, and during those times, those two couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Super gross, by the way.

I’ve seen the touches he gave her, more liberal with it when the Ghosts were nowhere to be seen. Those nights stopped after she chose Keegan over him, understandably.

I don’t know if I was the only one who was catching all of it, but no one else has said anything. Or maybe it’s because I’m the sneakiest in the unit. I’m the smallest guy in our group, not a secret, but my specialty is reconnaissance.

And no, I’m not letting Cass skate on any of this either. She’s at fault for things too, but I’m more lenient on the things she’s done recently. I mean, she did think everyone she loved, and her family were dead for four years, I wouldn’t be okay after that.

I’m sure all of this is extremely confusing for her, including the Soap stuff. Those two were together for like, eight years. Had Keegan met her while she was still with Soap, he’d never, ever have her. Those two were about to get married.

I think maybe Keegan knows that, and it bothers him knowing that he was a rebound. Sure, four years later rebound, but a rebound. To me, anyway.

We finally land to bring Soap to Cass, and I bolt ahead of everyone. My hands were filthy, so I’m ripping my gloves off as I get to the sink.

Accidently turning the hot tap on full, “Fuck!” I scream, ripping my hands away from the boiling water that just burnt my skin.

I push through it to finish washing up my hands, almost running into them putting Soap in the room. Cass tries to give me a smile, but it drops the moment Soap is set down.

“So, I may or may not have gotten a little hurt, love,” his voice quiet as he tries to be funny.

“This is so out of character for you,” she banters back to him, “first time for everything, right?”

“Oh, of course, aingeal,” he winks at her. (Angel)

She finishes removing the wraps I made and takes a few moments to access the severity of his injury.

Her eyes turn to worry, “W… we need to put him under, the ligaments connected through the scapula are torn pretty badly. I need to stich them back together…”

I look at Soap, and back at her. I know she’s terrified to put him under, that maybe he won’t wake back up. Maybe he’d finally leave her, it was written all over her. Her hand shakes as she grabs the mask to put him under with general anesthesia.

He looks at her, “I’ll be fine, darling, I promise.”

She grabs his hand, “Tha gaol agam ort.” (I love you)

I see him squeeze her hand, “Tha gaol agam ort cuideachd.” (I love you too)

Placing my hand gently on hers, “He’ll be fine,” pressing the mask against Soap’s face, “just a small surgery, mom.”

As she finally switched into medic mode, I’m able to see Keegan standing in the doorway. As he notices me noticing him, he steps out of the room and shuts the door.

I don’t know what they said, and I don’t think he does either. But like I’ve said, you could read the love between them hundreds of miles away.

Chapter Text

[MacMillian POV]

That Keegan boy keeps pacing, like he actually cares about Soap. Tweedy and Roach have been back there with him for two or so hours.

All up and down the living room, nonstop. It’s annoying me, but I don’t know how to say it without pissing someone off. Ah hell, my daughter does it all the time.

“Can you please sit down or go pace somewhere else?” I rub my temples, “the sound of you walking is really annoying.”

Keegan stops, “What language do you three speak?”

“Scottish Gaelic. Why?”

“What does…” he looks up as he thinks, “tha… gowl a gram ort?”

“Pardon?”

“It sounded like that.”

I share a few glances with Price, trying to figure out what the fuck this boy was on about. Trying to figure out what the hell he was attempting to pronounce.

He sure as hell butchered the language, and I already have a hard time translating Gaelic to English anyway. Now that boy has sputtered out nonsense.

“Something like… tha gaol agam ort?”

“Exactly that, what does that mean?” Keegan sits down next to Elias.

Oof, Tweedy, did you really say that within ear shot of this boy? I know Soap is injured and everything, but you’re not with him this time. Every time before, sure, you were, but not this time.

“Uh… she said it, or he said it?”

“Why does that matter?”

“The, uh… context of the words.”

“She did, then he said it back with something else.”

God damn it, Tweedy, you’re getting such an earful from me when the moment it’s right. After Soap explains why he can’t stop getting hurt. The two of them and their behavior sometimes drives me nuts. Leaving me to deal with everyone else that’s confused by you two.

“It can’t be firmly translated to English, but it’s just away of saying… God will protect you. So, Tweedy said that and Soap replied that God will protect her too.”

Roach finally walks through the room, pulling off the latex gloves on his hands. “So, everything is fine. Cass is just waking him up, but he’s okay.”

“Can we go in?”

Shaking his head, “No, Cass is still finishing up the wrappings, getting him awake. She slipped out of medic mode into irritated mode.”

“Ah, shite…”

“Wait, what?” Logan asks, looking over at Roach.

Ghost clears his throat, “When Cass goes into medic mode, as her emotions drop down, it makes her incredibly irritable. Like, she’s going to hurt your fucking feelings if you don’t leave her alone, irritable. Best to wait until she’s finished the small work.”

“Yeah,” Gaz mutters, “she can be really fucked up sometimes…”

///

Cassidy’s POV

Soap is able to sit up, “Am I all in one piece?”

Glancing over my shoulder, “For once.”

“…I should stop talking, shouldn’t I?”

“How the hell did you get hurt again?”

“…damn.”

“John.”

He sighs loudly, “Rorke caught us off guard, so I got shot. The end.”

Crossing my arms as tight as I can, “Off guard,” shaking my head.

Soap grabs my arm, tugging me over to him. Part of me wants to shove him and tearing him a new one, but I could’ve lost him. Actually, lose him, and the thought scared me down into my very depths.

The door is solid, no window and I’m sure Roach let them know I was in irritation mode. So, no one would be coming in, even the Ghosts. Dad would’ve made sure they understood not to come in here.

He’s still holding onto my now uncrossed left arm, the arm that he can raise tucks some of my hair behind my ear. My messy ponytail falling apart strand by strand, feeling some of my hair on the back of my shoulders. Falling apart like I’m about to, lump in my throat and tears burning at the back of my eyes.

All I can do is stare into his eyes, those beautiful glaciers that took my breath away almost a lifetime ago. The way the white on the very edges of his iris trickles into the blue to form cracks. Still able see how he looked before Operation Kingfish caused that nick across his left eye.

A stir of emotions wraps through my stomach, swirling straight up my throat and into my head. One side of my love for Soap and the other side for my love of Keegan. But I know which side is stronger, was it for the time? I can’t tell, and I can’t really hear my brain fighting for Keegan.

Instead, it goes to every time I almost lost him and how that very idea made me crumble inside. The passed four years being a waking nightmare as I tried so hard to move on and tried so hard to forget who he was. Forget what he meant to me and who he was. To make it somehow easier to trudge through life without my soulmate.

Soulmate. I remember when Price went missing, and I had nothing left. No fiancé, no dad, no uncle, no family. Being the only survivor hurt on levels I never knew I could hurt. Losing everyone topped the pure agony I felt when I lost Soap, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to breathe without causing misery.

And I thought it’d been enough time. That four years was a big enough buffer to allow myself to fall for Keegan. Two or so years of him wanting me, something I knew, but I just couldn’t let go of Soap. I had to force my heart to let go of Soap’s so I could move on and try to live a less fractured life.

Yet the moment I know he’s alive again, my heart decided to do whatever it wanted and latched onto his again. Keegan deserved a fair chance, I had feelings for him, and we were happy with each other. Everything started to level out, the nightmares fizzled out for a while too. I was making progress.

Soap wrapped his good arm around me to hug me, my arms going around his shoulders. Little droplets roll down my cheeks, “Uh, love, not so tight,” he says, “my shoulder.”

“Oh, right,” I pull away, sniffling slightly.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” I run my wrists under my eyes.

“I may be a little delirious from the anesthesia, but I know what tears are,” he grabs my chin.

I can’t help it; I cup his face and press my lips against his. He lets go of my chin, his arm coiling around my back. This was something I wanted to do for the last four years and I’m beginning to realize that it was still in the back of my mind… even with Keegan.

It made me feel so awful, since he deserves something better than me. I was so entangled with Soap while we were together that a piece of me was torn away with him. Leaving me damaged and broken. Keegan deserved someone who isn’t broken, who isn’t fragmented.

The door opens, “Ah, for fuck’s sake with the both of you!” MacMillian sternly shouts, hand gripped tightly to the doorknob.

I take a huge step back from Soap, “Everything good, Mac?” Price looks around him.

“You two are so childish sometimes.”

“In English, Mac.”

MacMillian shakes his head, “I need to speak with the two of them,” he slams the door shut.

“Yes, dad?” I mutter, looking at my feet.

He jams a chair against the door, “Are you dating that Keegan boy or what? I’m trying to get to know him, but then I turn around and something is happening between you two.”

Soap cleared his throat, “Whatever is going on between us is up to her. If she wants to be with me, I’m here. If she doesn’t… I’ll still be here, waiting.”

“I… I don’t know,” I sit down next to Soap, “I thought I wanted to be with Keegan, but… something about him almost dying again…”

MacMillian leans against the wall, “Tweedy, you need to figure this out.”

“I’m trying,” I start crying again, “I really am. I know it’s not fair to either of them, but I just…”

“Let’s speak figuratively,” he looks at me, “two pathways. You have Soap on one side and Keegan on the other.”

“Dad, that’s not helping.”

“You can only pick one. You spend the rest of your life with that boy and the other one is no longer in your life. Who can’t you live without?”

Soap looked at me and then at my dad. His eyes look a little lost right now, trying to stay completely awake for this. Though, you could see the drowsiness slipping into his head and his eyelids fought to stay up.

For the longest time, after accepting that I had to live without John, that I could live without him. I didn’t have a choice then; he was gone, and I started to cope with not having him with me. Keegan slipped into his role when I finally moved forward a step and decided to take my life off pause.

But now that I had him again, I don’t know if I could deal with losing Soap and coping to life without Soap.

Chapter Text

Soap’s POV

I’ve been coming in and out of sleep for the past three hours, the red clock on my side table baring two am at me. It’s been a few days. I’d finally get settled, fall asleep and then I’m jolted awake by my stupid shoulder. It hurts so damn much, even with the pain meds Cassie gave me. Never realized how much I sleep on my left side, facing right just felt wrong.

After that talk, Mac basically commandeered her, saying she was staying here, but she’s in his room. He and Elias got into it slightly about him taking her from their living room. Mac told him point blank that she’s his daughter, he helped create her and he raised on his own. That no matter how long Elias felt he had over Mac, that at the end of it all, her name is Cassidy MacMillian, not Cassidy Walker.

Cassie didn’t protest it either, I don’t know if it was because she knew she didn’t really have a choice or because she just wanted some room to breathe. The moment we came out of the operating room, you could feel it again. Even after everything we just did, that small pulling of her started in slow.

At some point, Ghost heard Keegan and Merrick talking about leaving. Taking Cassie with them because they needed to move on. With Rorke dealt with, they were needed elsewhere and that elsewhere is where Cassie’s going. He and Mac were outside my door, thinking I was asleep.

Most of it was Ghost talking Mac out of going over there and setting them all straight. That he had told him this to make him aware that they’re planning on leaving soon and since they automatically expect her to just go. That it took everything in him not to slam Keegan’s and Merrick’s heads together as hard as he could, but he didn’t.

Then Roach came in with Griggs to check on me, and I pretended to be knocked out. Which I fucking should have been if the stupid pain meds didn’t stop working. Roach was exacerbated over how things are going, that he thought after they all worked together that everyone would be civil. Even if they weren’t, Roach decided that he’d still be civil.

Griggs told him it sounded like a good idea, to be the mature ones. So, Cassie would finally see how much she didn’t belong with the Ghosts and that she belongs with us. The One-Four-One, who was still being amicable with those ‘jackasses’. Their immaturity will be their downfall.

I just feel so bad for her, that she’s in this place to begin with. All I want is for her to be happy, but with all of this going on, I know she’s not. The only shield she has is Mac because he even told Price to fuck off for the night. That man has been very patient with all of us, and you could see it slipping into nothing.

Not when his Princess was being treated like an object, constantly stressed and on the verge of crying sometimes. His ‘da’ side was coming out, and it was coming out hard. He blew up at every single one of us, including the Ghosts when Cassie was sleeping way back in his room. Even though he didn’t yell, you could feel the room vibrate.

That made everything even more tense, but he made it very clear that he was done. He was done putting up with everyone, that he was done seeing his pride and joy being miserable, he was just done with all of it. That she comes before every last one of us, that his duty was to protect and nurture her. He didn’t ‘give a flying fuck’ about how any of us felt about her, that what he says is end all and be all.

Elias didn’t take to it at all, accusing him of suffocating her. Suffocating an adult who’s old enough to make her own choices and take care of herself. If she wanted to go with them, the right thing would be to let her choose where she goes. That it was a little uncomfortable with how much he babied her and that the Ghosts had made her stronger.

And let me tell you, that was the exact wrong thing to say to Major General Vince Tevis MacMillian. We just call him Captain still because it was just more natural to us, but his official ranking was Major General. I’ve never seen that man’s normally bright emerald eyes almost go pure black; his fists bawled up so tightly.

That’s when Mac threw them out, literally throwing Elias against the door. Telling him that he does NOT dictate anything when it comes to Cassie, and that if he even THOUGHT he had any sway on her – then he was more stupid than he thought. Really thinking she’d choose them over him, not us, him.

My attention turns towards my bedroom door as it creaks open, what the fuck does he want? Keegan quietly steps into my room, shutting the door behind him.

Rolling my eyes, “How about you try to come kill me when it’s an even fight, you fucking yank.”

Keegan crosses his arms, “Had I come to do that, you’d already be dead, you fucking Scot.”

“The fuck are you here for, then? I should let you know; Mac will be able to sense you’re here. And a word to the wise, I’d stay out of his way.”

“Why’d you take the shot? I just want to know if it’s vanity or pettiness,” he grabs a chair from my desk.

I scoff, “Piss of until the morning. I’m exhausted and in pain. I don’t feel like talking right now.”

“Just tell me why so I can leave.”

I take a moment to sit up, “Because, unlike you, I want Cassie to be happy. If being with you makes her happy… then I want her to be happy. Even if it’s not with me.”

Keegan stares at me for a moment, “You’re so full of shit.”

“I tell you why I did it, and you’re going to say that I don’t know why I did it. What’s the point of this conversation?”

“You really did it for that? Hard to believe,” Keegan shrugs, “not after all those inappropriate jokes you kept making.”

“Oh, come off it, funboy,” I point at him with my good arm, “either take my honest reason, or fuck off. Actually, just fuck off either way.”

“Like I said, it’s hard to believe.”

“Look, I’ve known Cassie for twice as long as you. I’ve been through hell with her more times than I could count. I’ve seen her at her best, I’ve seen her at her worse, I’ve seen her confident, I’ve seen her broken. I have seen her in every emotion, state of mind and more. And I want to just see her happy, if it’s with you, then I have to deal with it.”

He says nothing, still looking at me with the same stupid expression and the same stupid eyebrow raised. I’ve never wanted to punch this fucking asshole more in my life, just because he’s calling me a liar.

I take a sip of water, “Even if she’s happy with you, though… she’ll never be as happy as she was with me. And I think you know that” my smile pulls to the left, “and that’s why you’re such an unbearable cunt.”

Roach had talked about that with me a few times, and for once the boy was making sense. He was speaking the truth; she and I were going to get married. If we never were separated, this Yankee-doodle-dandy would never have her.

“Excuse me?” He sits up quickly.

“You have to know, in wherever you keep your intelligence, don’t know if it’s in your head or in your ass, that if she and I never separated, you’d never have a chance. I think you know deep down that you’re just a rebound. She and I weren’t just dating, we were engaged. Planning a wedding, planning our life.”

“Yeah, I know about that,” he grins lightly himself, “and you fucked that all up, didn’t you? You’ve known her longer, but I knew her when she was rebuilding herself. When she was healing from what you and all the other jackasses in here did to her.”

“Those jackasses are her family and friends but keep going if it makes you feel good.”

“You want to talk about knowing her in pain? You should’ve seen what you did to her, the pain you caused, the nightmares you’ve caused.”

“And I completely take responsibility in that,” I snap, “what we did wasn’t fair to her. We all know we hurt her, and we all feel like pieces of absolute shit for what we did. But you want to know something?”

“What?”

“At least we acknowledged our wrong doings. We’ve apologized to her over and over again. While knowing that no matter how many times we do, it’ll never fix everything. We apologize when we need to, we accept our responsibilities. Something you and your phantoms don’t seem to do.”

Keegan scoffs loudly, “What are you going on about now?”

“She’s been such a miserable wreck because of you guys. We pretend to like you when she’s around, be civil, just so we can take some stress off her. Then you guys come in, acting like cunts, making her stress. She’s been on the verge of crying at almost any moment of the day because of your team. We play ball, you don’t.”

“You guys start it.”

“The fuck we do,” I throw my blanket off me, “your lot starts this shit. Mac told us to not cause issues when Cassie is around, and we obey him. That’s his daughter, even if the demented prick with you guys thinks he can even look at where Mac stands.”

“You watch your mouth,” he stands.

Laughing, “Then watch mine as I explain everything to you. The One-Four-One is where she belongs. She belongs with her father and her uncle. She belongs with men that have cared for her in ways you guys never could. Her best friends, her ‘son’, and honestly, she is my soulmate.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Because we always put her first. If for some reason she does want to go with you guys, we won’t stop her. We love her on a level you guys never can. You’re too selfish, thinking about what you guys want, not what she wants. Not even noticing how depressed she’s been, how deflated she’s been.”

Keegan remained quiet as he racks his brain to see if he did notice. Which he hasn’t, sometimes she goes into those moods. Never really gives a reason, but it happens from time to time. It was normal… wasn’t it?

“Cassie has always had those moods swings,” he tries to say confidently.

I can’t help but laugh again, “Cassie does not have mood swings to this degree. And before you even say it’s because of what we did, when she’s over here without you guys – those mood swings don’t happen.”

“And I’m supposed to believe you?”

“You just stated that the normally chipper Cassie is just melancholy all the time over at your guys’ place when it’s not that way when she’s here. So, yeah, you kind of admitted to not knowing the difference.”

“Face it,” my hand rubs my shoulder, “she belongs here. We’ve all seen her rebuild herself, and we stepped back when needed. Whether you want to believe it or not, she does. What we did caused her a lot of pain, and we are trying to make up for it.”

“Without all the shit we went through, I am willing to bet that we’d be married, and she’d be pregnant by now. Settled down, in love and finally having a life outside of the military. All of us would be together like the family we are. Your sorry lot would’ve never met her, you’d never would’ve been blessed with even holding her.”

Keegan crosses his arms again, trying to find a rebuttal for any of that. He can’t, but he needs to find one. Cassie would come with them, since she and Keegan are still together, anyway. This Scot didn’t know what he was talking about, he didn’t even know her after four years.

“If you say so,” he turns to leave.

“It’s not about if I say so or not,” I lean back, “next time you’re heading over here without her, make sure you pay attention to how she looks before she sees you guys.”

“Whatever, and just so you know,” he looks back at me, “think of me slamming the door.” It squeaks shut.

Whatever you say, you idiot.

///

MacMillian’s POV

I glance over at my daughter, who was fast sleep in my bed. I’m in the recliner, the telly on very low so it doesn’t wake her. My mind won’t shut off, I’m fucking pissed at everyone right now. Making my Princess feel this way, sucking the life out of her. She doesn’t deserve this, and I can’t handle seeing her like this.

I can’t believe I actually thought that we’d all be on good terms with each other after doing that OP. It changed nothing, just them trying to swoop Tweedy away now that Rorke’s gone. The pure disrespect towards me… I can’t tolerate it anymore. If they think they’re going to just up and leave with MY child…

Tweedy’s my everything, I’m not just going to let her go again. There’s no way she’s picking them over at least me. Growing up, it was just us two and it’s always been us against the world. Those men, especially Elias are going to find out when I’m pushed over the edged. I’m taking that fucker out first.

I’ve tried to stand by to let her be an adult, but not when she’s like this. This is new, mainly because all she had romantically is Soap. Now there’s that Keegan boy. All she needs to do is figure out who she can’t live without. I mean, we all know, but she has to be the one to say it.

I remember that call with her, the one where she told me Soap had died. A lot of it I couldn’t understand because of how hard she was crying, and with all the heaving I thought she was going to pass out. I didn’t know what suffering was until I heard that call, what heartbreak really sounded like.

Broke my heart to hear her like that, and hearing Soap died hurt too. She just kept asking me why, how could he leave her, how was she supposed to go on without him. She didn’t even remember her without him, and it broke into all the ways she was going to murder Yuri. No matter what I said and no matter what Price said. That once Makarov was finally gone, Yuri’s following.

There’s no way she’s going to be able to deal with not having him again. Didn’t matter back when he was ‘dead’, she had no choice. She had to learn to be without him, and it almost destroyed her the first time. Now that he had almost died again, Tweedy’s telling Keegan goodbye.

“What was that?” Tweedy sits up abruptly, panicking as she looked around.

“Nothing, sweetheart,” I sit on the edge of the bed, “everything is fine. Go back to sleep.”

Her hand brushed against her forehead, wiping some of the sweat off her. I don’t know what she was dreaming about, but it had to be a doozy. “A-are you sure? I swear I heard something.”

Shaking my head, “I promise, it’s nothing,” I grab the glass of water from the table next to her, “just calm down, have some water.”

Tweedy’s hand trembled as she drank, her eyes still darting around. I’m not sure if this is a ‘normal’ PTSD moment or if it’s the stress from everything else. I’ve basically barricaded her in here so she could feel comfortable enough to sleep.

She sets the glass down, “I swear I heard something…”

“Everything is okay,” I gently push her to lay down, “you know I’d tell you if it wasn’t.”

“Okay…” she pulls the blanket up as she rolls over to sleep on her side.

My hand rubs her back slowly, and I wish I could just take everything from her. I’d sell my soul to Satan if it meant I could carry her pain.

Chapter Text

Keegan’s POV

I slam the front door hard behind me, stomping off towards the kitchen. As I enter, for some reason, they’re all at the table, drinking coffee. “How’d that talk go?” Merrick asks, sipping from his mug.

“I don’t get what Cass sees in him,” I sit down at the end of the table, “he’s such an ass.”

“Why’d he take the bullet?” Logan picks at his toast.

Rolling my eyes, “Because he knows that I make her happy, and he just wants her happy,” I try my hardest to mock his accent.

“Sounded more like Ghost,” Merrick shrugs.

“On top of that, he said that we’re the reason she’s upset and miserable. That we start it, while they’re trying to abide with what Mac says.”

“Mac,” Elias growls lightly, “I get that, that’s his daughter, but he vanished on her. I’m the reason she was even brought back into the military. He had his chance, that whole house had their chances.”

“What does he mean ‘start it’?” Hesh raises an eyebrow.

“He said that their house doesn’t start or say anything when Cassie’s around. That they’re all doing what Mac said, play ball, play nice and all that jazz when she’s around. They’ve totally started it.”

“Bullshit.”

“Yeah, that stupid shit about rugby being better than football was their fault.”

Logan glanced at his brother, “No, Merrick started that after Roach brought up Soap’s favorite team.”

Merrick looks at him, “Right…”

Elias places his mug down, “Alright, fair enough. But MSR being better than Lynx was Ghost’s fault.”

Hesh looks up, “No, I think Cass was talking about her preferred sniper and when Soap agreed, Logan told him he was just copying her for brownie points. Ghost brought up how Soap was just picking the better of the two, when he actually likes using the fifty-Cal barrette.”

“Well, Mac going after dad was Mac’s fault,” Logan countered.

I looked at him, “No, Elias made a comment about how Mac raised her. I even found that a little out of line.”

We all avoid eye contact with each other, the more I thought about it, the worse it gets. That asshole was right… we do start it. How’d we get so immature like this? It was just something about them that made me so mad. From the moment we all met, there’s been a massive amount of static.

Even when we were working together, it took everything in me not to shoot Soap. Before the jokes. Working together seemed like maybe it’d be good for all of us, that we’d learn to deal with each other. Finally feel level as equals.

That’s not what happened, everything went back to how it was before. At least… we did. Maybe that’s part of the reason they just seem more irritating now. They weren’t going at us, acting like they were better than us. In reality, they just stopped participating in this and it felt insulting.

Cass changed too, after she had to sew that idiot up. She felt more distant to me, pulled more towards him. But that’s just because she’s a medic, he got injured and so she has to check on him. Other than that, she has seemed… lower than normal. Constantly low, but how am I supposed to believe that she’s not like that with them?

I’d have to take that idiot seriously, believe that he isn’t just full of shit. For all I know, she’s probably just sleeping or something when she’s over there. I have to assume that, since she sleeps over there now, all the way back in Mac’s room. And from what I heard; Mac keeps watch at night. Making sure no one comes in, not even Price.

“How about we do some recon tomorrow morning?” Hesh finishes the last of his coffee.

“Recon?”

“Cass is eating breakfast there tomorrow, so how about we go and see how she acts without us? See if she really is all smiles without us being there.”

Logan looks at his brother, “I suppose we could…”

…

Cassidy POV

My nose twitches as a familiar scent wafts into my dad’s room, pouring in from under the door. A smell that I haven’t smelt in a long time, fresh coffee beans and the special pancakes he makes me. Mixed in with cinnamon, honey instead of syrup and topped with pitted cherries. Laced in with sausage and bacon, my stomach nearly yelling more at the scent of the pancakes.

Walking down the hall, voices already coming from the kitchen. Hushed, probably because MacMillian told them to keep it down until I was awake. Everyone was listening to him extremely close lately, just like when we were in uniform.

Rubbing my eye as I walk in, “Finally!” Roach throws his hands up, “Morning, mom! Can we have pancakes now?!”

A laugh escapes me, “Uh, sure, why not?”

MacMillian nods his head for me to sit, “I told the sorry lot that you get the first pancakes,” he sets them on the plate in front of me.

“Thank you, da,” I smile as I pour some juice into my glass.

“How’d you sleep, Cass?” Gaz asks as he puts a few pieces of bacon on my plate for me.

“Really good, actually. I only woke up because I smelt the food.”

Soap sits down next to me, “That’s a sure-fire way to wake you, love.”

“No one asked you,” I jest, watching as dad drizzled honey across my pancakes.

He mocks me under his breath as he grabs his own food, the rest of the team digging into their own plates. It’s been a while since I’ve seen this, the way these animals tear through food. How Roach won’t look up from his plate for a solid five minutes. Depending on the food, Gaz will try to steal some from Price’s plate when he’s looking over the newspaper.

Ghost would have whatever book he was reading at the time directly in front of him on the table, his plate above it. Having to adapt it this way to make sure that Roach doesn’t try to pull a Gaz on him and try to steal his food. Especially when bacon was on the menu. Griggs would flip through one of his car magazines, holding it in one hand, his arm wrapped around his plate as he propped it on the table.

Course MacMillian would either read the newspaper, or paperwork that he was trying to catch up on. Since there’s no paperwork, he was actually reading one of his military training books. Probably biding time until Price is done reading it over so that he could have his turn. Which would be after he finishes his food.

Soap and I would usually talk to each other, even if the others liked to pretend no one was here to talk to them. Which I can understand, the didn’t want to talk and eat first thing in the morning.

Sipping some of my juice, “How’s your shoulder doing?”

“Eh,” Soap wipes his mouth with a napkin, “still hurts like hell, but not as bad.”

“I can give you some pain meds after you eat.”

“I think I’m becoming dependent on those,” he looks at me, “don’t want a repeat of morphine back in Credenhill.”

Slowly chewing my first bite of pancake, my mind drifts towards that life. That life that felt like a hundred lives ago to me, an almost dream like feeling. After the bridge when we lost Gaz and Griggs.  Soap and I were pretty beat up, and the only two survivors from that endeavor. Going after Zakhaev, saving the US from being hit by multiple missiles and stopping WW3… for the moment.

My arm was broken, few ribs cracked, cuts galore, bruised like I had been dropped kick seven thousand times and a handful of other minor injuries. Soap biggest injury was his femur, he had cracked ribs, a few broken, sliced up and bruised more than I was since he was closer to the tanker. He was back between Price and Griggs. I was up further, crouched down behind a barrier with Gaz.

Somehow, I was thrown back further than Gaz had been. The edges of my vision closing in with white haze, my lungs trying to find air that wasn’t full of gas, smoke, gun powder and blood. Knowing my arm was broken as I stretched it, trying to find my side arm. Must’ve been thrown from me after the tanker threw me.

Soap and I got to see Griggs take that bullet to his neck. Watching as he tried to pull Soap behind cover, stopping to shoot to thin out the approaching Ultranationalists. There were way too many for us to handle, even before the tanker exploding. I still remember seeing the little spray of blood from his neck as he toppled over, causing Soap to do the same.

I remember just praying for Gaz to not move, to just lie there and maybe they would ignore him. Trying to inch towards him so he could hear me, that somehow if I was an inch closer, the ringing in his ears would just magically stop and he’d hear me tell him not to move. Then he wouldn’t move, and everything would be just fine because they would think he was already dead.

That’s not what happened though. That’s not what happened at all. Instead, I got to watch my best friend deliriously sit up to get his bearings. Not knowing that Zakhaev himself was walking towards him with a few of his men, executing anyone he saw moving. As Gaz sat up slightly, not even seeing the gun pointing at him before the trigger was squeezed. His blood pooling below him, and no tears would escape my eyes. I don’t know why, but at that moment, they didn’t.

From where I was positioned, I couldn’t see Price. The only other person I could see was Soap, who was still staring in Gaz’s direction. Until his attention was turned to his right, and that’s when I saw Price’s M1911 slide towards him from behind the debris that blocked my sight of him. As quickly as the gun was slid, that was as quickly as Zakhaev, and his guards hit the ground.

And Soap didn’t have to tell me that something was wrong with Price, I could see it in his eyes, in his face. He would later tell me that they were beating on his chest, something that is only done as a last resort given how damaging that is to the sternum and a few other areas of our chests. If that doesn’t work, and there’s no defibrillator, that’s all that can be done. So, we both assumed he was dead too.

We both ended up in the same base and it was hell for us. But, even while in a perpetual hell we crawled through every waking moment of our lives at that point, we had each other. As long as we had that, we were going to be fine. Fine enough to point out the wrong we were doing to ourselves, no matter how uncomfortable it was for us to call each other out on it.  

I was hurting myself by not talking about it, not expressing how much pain was swirling around inside me. How losing Gaz, who was my best friend, who I could confide in, who I was comforted by, one of the most wonderful people I ever met was shot in front of me like he was nothing. That Gareth Ben Ravensdale didn’t mean anything, he didn’t even deserve to be acknowledged before he was executed.

That my uncle, who began helping my dad raise me from when I was five and onward, also lost his life on that bridge. In a way he didn’t deserve to die, with all he did in his life, with all he did in his military life, he died in a way so offensive to me that I didn’t know whether to be despondent or beyond pissed about it. Even though I wouldn’t want him to die at all, but he merited so much better.

Soap was patient about it at first, even if I wasn’t talking, he was near me. Which was really nice, given we didn’t know each other very long. Nevertheless, of the time, we were still close and closer after the bridge. He would sit with me, or if I were laying down, he’d lie with me. Sometimes he’d play with my hair, or he’d rub my back. Just small things to let me know that he was there for me, that even if he didn’t have the same milage as them, that he was here for me.

And he called me out first. A month went by with me acting that way, not talking, sulking and just trying to disappear from the world. Even when my dad came to visit, Soap mainly filled him in on what was going on with me. I spent my days hiding, sleeping, clutching my journal that had photos of them or just staring blankly at the ceiling or a wall. Just to cease existing for as long as I could because I couldn’t exist with the pain my being.

MacMillian was going to be gone for a few months, little to no contact with me the entire time. The longest time I wouldn’t hear from him as an adult, which did hurt, but I couldn’t put that hurt above what already existed inside me. He had told Soap about it, showing that he was upset himself because he wanted to spend his last week with me, but I wouldn’t come out of my room.

So, what does Soap do? He comes barging into my room, flips the light on and rips the blanket off me after I tried to hide under it. Same with the pillow I tried to use too and grabbed the journal from my hand. He rarely yelled at me, but boy, did he fucking yell at me. Telling me that he knew that it hurt that they weren’t here, that he was upset too and that he’s tried to be here for me as much as he could.

That he cares about me more than any other person on this planet, and all he wants is to see me heal and be happy. That he was buckled in no matter how long it took for that to happen, but he knew that if I didn’t suck some of it up now that I would just be making everything worse for me.

Asking why, I sounded like an angsty teenager when I think back on it and it makes me cringe deeply inside. He told me that if I stayed in here and didn’t go spend time with my dad that I’d end up hating myself. That Mac was going to be gone for months, probably no emails, no phone calls – nothing. Grabbed my chin to look at him, telling me he lost Price too, Cass, he lost him too.

I remember feeling so selfish about not even considering my dad’s feelings. Though I didn’t audibly cry, I held my hand out to Soap so he could take me to wherever my dad was at. Soap’s smile did help a little bit, I think that’s around the time I began to realize that I had feelings for him.  That there was just something different about him, that he cared about me in a way that made me feel different. In a way no one else did.

Led me to the rec room, where Mac was waiting on the couch for me. His grin brightly lit up the room as he stood, his arms stretched out wide open and when I hugged him, wrapped so tightly. As always, feeling safe and impenetrable when he hugged me. That nothing could hurt me because he could guard me from any angle, ready to slit anyone’s throat. And we spent the rest of that week together.

I ended up calling Soap out a few weeks later, because it turned out that while I was sulking, pretending I didn’t exist, it was unnoticed by me how much he was using the on-site morphine auto-injector. After that little intervention between him and my dad, I brightened up… sort of. Not so much of a ray of sunshine or anything like that, probably more like a tea candle lit in a cave two miles underground.

But I was paying more attention, and suddenly his ability to be as lethargic as me was making sense. Not saying it wasn’t because he didn’t care about me or…. Though it wasn’t stated then, he’s said time and time again that he already loved me at that point, it was because he was abusing morphine.  

My suspicions took a day or two of reminding my body how to function again, but it was still fairly quick. He didn’t want to do much, other than just do what we doing before. The stuff he didn’t want me doing, though now he wanted to continue doing it? I told him no, that we needed to get up and get moving again. Needed to get back on track because we weren’t going to be injured forever.

A few more weeks down the line, he would slur every now and again, then the whole having the attention span of a goldfish and constant fatigue. Even if we didn’t even do anything that day, just wanted to nap. The thing that outed him completely to me was when we were watching a game of rugby together.

Sitting alone in the rec room, a new game on the screen and here he was, with me and not getting excited. Jonathan Lyall MacTavish III not excited over rugby??? Since when?! That was the biggest alarm bell that screamed through my mind, watching as the body snatcher-esque type person sitting next to me not emoting. Our favorite team scored, I cheer loudly, and he doesn’t. Well, not loudly.

I slapped his leg hard, making him look over at me. The final calling card were his eyes. Though at that point, I had only studied them for a few months, I could still tell the difference. Normally, those gorgeous lakes frozen over with snow, the small white cracking starting a few centimeters from his irises until it blended in with the white of his eyes.

Instead of seeing those amazing glaciers, there was a small hint of the very ends of the cracks and instead of a lake, there was a fucking black hole from his dilated pupils. Chalking that up with all the other behaviors, including him being snippy with me over nothing lately, I knew he was addicted to and abusing morphine. I had to catch him doing it, though.

So, I told him that I’d be busy all day, said I was needed to help with some small paperwork my dad would usually do. He was out on maneuvers still, but I helped him enough to be able to do some of it without him. Which was bullshit because I don’t have that ranking. And if he wasn’t so out of his mind on morphine, he would’ve been able to call bullshit on me. In that, I got more proof that he was doing what I know he’s doing.

While he thought I was doing that, I was actually hiding back in a corner in the area the auto-injector was. Squeezed in tightly into a small cabinet that had no door on it, though was in a dark part of the back of the room. There wasn’t a whole lot over there so no one really looked over. It was pretty much empty, so it made the perfect hiding spot.

Within the six hours I camped there, which was nothing compared to when I’m out in the field, he used that thing ELEVEN times. ELEVEN. I kind of pondered how he was even able to function at this point, and I became worried that he was pumping himself full of that stuff. I’ve always hated auto-injectors and I still hate them till this day.

The last time he left, I waited in front of him until he came back again. I wasn’t letting him get a twelfth dose. Instead, he was going to get my foot buried up his ass while I bitch his ear off into a new dimension. So, he walks in, sees me, and since he’s pretty smart – he put two and two together.

I pointed towards the door, my journal tightly in my hand as he backed out of the building. But I kept pointing, escorting him all the way to the place we usually hide from everyone else from. And I show him all the stuff I wrote down, how many times he used it, showed how the times got shorter and shorter because it was getting built up in his system, so he needed more and more of it.

It all came down to if I ever saw him use that injector, or I suspected he was on morphine when he didn’t need it, I was drop kicking his ass into the sun. That I would be forced to report it as someone who cares about him and as a medic because overdosing on morphine is a possibility and I didn’t want him to end up overdosing.

I had to put up with some bitchiness from him, but I’d rather put up with that, than to have nothing to put up with at all.

“Caaasssiiieeee,” Ghost waves his hand in front of my face.

Shaking my head, “Sorry, I kind of spaced out.”

“Kind of?” Griggs looked at me, “you stared at Roach for so long he thought he was in trouble.”

Roach glanced up from his plate, “I’m not in trouble, right? Because if I am, it’s Ghost’s fault.”

“What the fuck?” Ghost turned his head.

“I’m just saying if something did happen, it’s you who did it.”

“It was not! It was Gaz.”

Gaz coughed slightly on his milk, “I haven’t left my room in days, what do you mean?”

“That explains all the missing tissues,” Roach snorted slightly.

“Did you steal my lotion, Gaz?” Griggs sets his magazine down.

Price nearly spits out his coffee, Mac grabbing the newspaper, “Hey, I still need my turn there, John!”

Laughing through coughing, “S-sorry, it’s too early for all this.”

We all collectively laugh loudly, Gaz glaring at each and everyone of us on our own. My hand covering my mouth, so I don’t end up spitting the pancake out while laughing, Price still trying to breathe. Ghost snorts a few times, like he does when he laughs hard enough. That in turn makes Roach laugh even harder to the point where he’s not even making any noise. And Soap’s loud is louder than all of our laughs, except dad’s. You can still hear his accent with it too. Griggs had his face buried in one of his arms on the table, his fist lightly hitting the table beside his head. 

The table finally calms down a little bit, my wrist wiping the tears off my face from the laughter. “Are you guys done yet, you bunch of fuckers?” Gaz asks, flicking some butter at Roach’s face.

Griggs lets out a long breath, “Yeah, I think so.”

Dad is skimming the newspaper, “I have one question, though.”

“Yes, da?” I take a drink from my orange juice.

“Griggs,” he peers over the top of his newspaper, “why do you have so much lotion in the first place?”

The comment reignites the entire table again, this time Griggs is the one who’s scowling at everyone. Even dad’s laughing, his and Soap’s laughter mixing almost into one, solid loud laugh. Gaz leans back at his holds his stomach, he’s always had a belly laugh. God, I forgot how much I missed this. How much I love this.

Chapter Text

Cassidy Meeting the Ghosts

Sitting quietly next to Elias as he drives me towards the rest of the team, my forehead placed against the window. My eyes following the raindrops slipping down, trying to prepare my mind. It’s been a long time since I’ve stepped onto the field, but I don’t know what else to do. Where else was I supposed to go?

Nothing. I have absolutely nothing left. Everyone that I loved and cared about are gone. The people I relied on, my family, my friends, my everything left me behind. Protected me to keep me alive with their own lives and knowing that was an agony that I didn’t know was possible. Something I didn’t know I could still function through, thinking that I’d just… do it.

Just put a gun to my temple and blow my brains out at home. And I really thought about doing it, I really did. I have nothing. But I know that I couldn’t do that to them. They sacrificed themselves, their lives for everyone else, for me and I knew that if I committed suicide, all of what they did would be slapped in the face.

And I know that they would never forgive me if I did that. My dad would probably disown me if I did it, Price too. I know everyone would’ve lost all the respect they had for me, especially Ghost. He was in this position before, after Roba killed his mother, brother, sister-in-law and nephew. He kept moving, even if he left ‘Simon’ behind to keep ‘Ghost’ alive.

I could never do that to my dad, be such a disappointment. He taught me that you fight until the end, that you never give up and that if you have to go down, you go down swinging. Me decorating the wall with my brains isn’t me going down swinging, that’s me giving up. Going against everything that he raised me to believe, my morals, my code and I didn’t disrespect my dad when he was alive, and I’ll never disrespect him even when he’s… gone.

Soap… there are four extremely hard distinct levels of grief for me. There was the gouging of my stomach for Roach, Ghost, Gaz and Griggs. There was hard stabbing in the center of my head for my dad. A shockingly burning feeling through my neck for Price. Then there was the complete evisceration of my heart for Soap, the contents thrown into a vat of salt and acid. Still smoldering inside my chest, the pain horrendous enough for me to want to crack my ribs open to get it out of me.

All of them tearing my body apart at once, wanting to dig my nails through my skin, rip my veins out to get the venom out. Crack my skull to tear my brain out, to rip my nervous system out so I couldn’t feel any of this. I didn’t know what pain was until now, and how much more emotional pain kills you. Liquor stopped chasing it away a long time ago, and now doesn’t even touch it.

“You good, Alias?” Elias nudges me, “we’re here.”

I shake my head to get my past out of it, “Yeah, just… lost. In thought.”

“Understood, don’t forget about your mask,” he shuts his door.

My thumbs run over the balaclava in my hand… Ghost’s balaclava. I don’t think he’d mind if I used it, I held onto it and I need one for my new… team. I inhale sharply before pulling it over my head, making sure I tuck my ponytail under it in a way where it’s not uncomfortable. I don’t know how Ghost or anyone else could wear these all the time. It’s so claustrophobic.

I’d rather wear it though, instead of showing the scar running up my cheek. The scar makes me feel so ugly, and so broken. Elias said he’d never mention it to anyone, that I’d be the one to choose whether anyone saw my face or not. Making it clear that I’d have my own room, my own space and that the other members would have a clear understanding of that.

Walking in behind him, I hear a bunch of laughing and chatter coming from the living room. Just so much noise of other people makes me want to turn around and run, but I need to get over that. It’ll be fine, just some adjustments, some time and… forcing of myself, it’ll work out.

“Alright, guys,” Elias clasps his hands loudly, “I’d like you to meet Alias, our newest Ghost.”

Everyone in the room, except one person, has their masks off. Their faces welcoming me with light smiles, something I don’t return. They won’t know that I’m not, but I can’t force myself to even try under the fabric hiding who I am and who I was.

“Nice to meet you!” One shoots up from the ground, “I’m Logan, Elias is my dad,” his smile bears too much of a resemblance to Roach, but I still know how to turn off my emotions. The way his eyes still held so much innocence, though his right side of smile is higher, Gary’s left side was higher.

“I’m the older brother, Hesh,” Hesh waves from his seat, “don’t mind my baby brother, he’s a little special.”

“Bite me,” he snaps back.

“Both of you, shut up,” Elias warns.

“I’m Merrick,” he stands to walk over to me, “nice design on the mask. Where’d you get it?” He held his hand out.

I force myself to grab it, “Was a friend’s.”

“A fri-,” Merrick begins, but I think Elias shot him a look, “it’s very nice,” he mutters.

The last man in the room, the only other one wearing a mask, walks over without saying anything at first. His steps in such a way to remain silent, the walk of a sniper. Sure, soldiers are taught to walk quiet, but snipers’ walk was almost like we were floating. The way the rest of his body moved as he walked, it was extremely close to… Soap’s… if I didn’t know any better… I’d think it was him…

“Keegan,” he holds his hand out to me, “welcome to the Ghosts,” his voice was scratchy, and low.

“Thank you,” I had to force my hand out again.

Falling silent, the Ghost team shifted awkwardly. Like most people did when I was around, between the other soldiers, even my superiors. It’s like I gave off some sort of vibe, the vibe saying that I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing in a uniform anymore. That I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing as I wander through what’s left in my life, the shattered memories mocking me as I hid from them.

Some barking broke through, a German Shepherd running into the room, “There you are!” Logan rubs the dog’s stomach, “Alias, this is Riley, he’s our attack dog, we even hav…”

He continues to talk about the dog, but my mind muted after hearing Riley. I can’t hear their names said by other people, even if it’s not talking about them. “Where’s my room?” I cut Logan off.

Elias looks at me, “All the way down the hall… are you okay?”

“Yeah… I just want to unpack my things.” Even though I try to make my voice less monotone, I can’t. Not right now.

“O-of course,” he steps out of my way.

My hand wraps tightly around the strap to my duffle-bag, squeezing to the point I was digging my nails into my palm. Even though I want to run to my room, I walk calmly down the hallway. Quietly shutting the door, making sure it’s locked, I drop my bag on the floor.

The room was basic, had a bed, a desk, a chair and a closet. Nothing out of what I’m used to, at least I have a lock on my door and people know to leave me the fuck alone. On base, not so much, but Elias promised everyone here would leave me alone if I was in my room.

Opening the door to the closet, I step in and shut the door behind me. I slide down as I almost rip the mask off of me, my eyes flowing like rivers and my lungs felt like they were on fire. My body shakes as I place one of my hands firmly over my mouth, I thought that leaving the base would be a good thing. That maybe it’d help ease my pain not being on an actual base.

Turns out, I can’t escape from the pain at all. Leaving the base doesn’t work, sleeping doesn’t work, drinking doesn’t work – nothing works. I just want it to stop for a few minutes, just let me breathe for a few minutes. But it doesn’t stop, and it never will.

Meanwhile

Elias POV

I stare towards where Alias walked off too, letting out a small sigh. Don’t get me wrong, I knew this would be difficult for her. I don’t know the whole story as to what exactly happened, but I know how many people, and their roles in her life, she lost. Even with all that said, she’s still an extremely trained soldier.

Letting her get discharged would’ve been a disservice to the Military as a whole, letting all that talent go to waste. She needed somewhere to go, and I could work with what she was going through. I explained that to these idiots, well, I guess my sons are the only idiots, and they still decided to be stupid.

“So, uh… is she okay?” Merrick asked, and I snap my eyes to look at him.

“Do you guys remember that little talk we had about her?”

“Yeah,” Keegan had his arms crossed as he leaned against the back of the couch, “which is why all I said was welcome.”

Logan rubbed the back of his neck, “Oh… the whole… everyone died thing…”

Hesh cleared his throat, “I may have forgotten about that. It’s not like we did anything, though.”

“She’s just going to be a little bit… off for a while. In the meantime,” placing my hands behind my back, “just be a little gentle with her. She’s a good soldier, and she can be sweet once she’s comfortable.”

“So, that means no asking stupid questions about any of it,” Merrick warned over his shoulder towards the Walker boys, “we don’t know anything about that, do you two understand?”

“Yes…” they mutter.

“Exactly,” I nod once in agreement, “and if she’s in her room, you don’t disturb her, either. For anything.”

Keegan looked at me, “Are you sure she’s up for any of this? If she’s hiding in her room, it sounds like maybe she still needs to work on some things.”

“She’s up for it,” doubling down, “Alias just lost her father, uncle, fiancé and the rest of her team. So, she’s going to be a little quiet, reserved and may need to be alone for a while, Keegan.”

“I get all of that,” he lowers his voice, “I’m just saying that maybe the Military isn’t for her anymore.”

Stomping up to him, “I need you to focus on what I’m saying. Lieutenant MacMillian is one of the best soldiers I’ve ever seen, she’s a medic, can do technical things, and is one of the best snipers I’ve seen in a long time. I thought you’d be happy to have someone to talk to about all that scientific crap when it comes to snipers.”

Keegan raises an eyebrow at me, “Understood.”

“Good,” I cross my arms, “are we all on the same page now?”

“Yes, sir,” Merrick nods once, his eyes glanced at Keegan.

“Got it…” Logan doesn’t look up from rubbing Riley’s stomach.

“Yeah,” Hesh sighs, “I don’t know how I’d be if I lost you, or Logan, or any of you.”

“That’s my point,” I mutter, “like I said, she just needs to time. Soon enough, you guys will see Cassidy for who she is. And she’s a real nice girl, believe me, pretty upbeat… when she’s not upset…”

“Can’t wait,” Keegan looks off to her room.

Chapter Text

We all take a seat in the living room, we just got back from staking out the One-Four-One’s place… and they were right. I haven’t heard Cass laugh like that in a long time, and certainly not over here. They had no idea we were watching them, yet what Soap told me was actually true. And that… I can’t decide if I’m pissed or miserable.

Cass was happier over there because when she’s over here, she’s just neutral. Not sad, but no where near how cheerful as she used to be. I thought maybe it was a result of everything we went through, dealing with Rorke, but there she was… acting like normal Cass. With them, and never us. Why didn’t she act like that with us anymore?

If that Scottish asshole was right, it was because we couldn’t let our grudge towards the One-Four-One go. We’ve tried, but there was just something about all those jackasses that rubbed us the wrong way. On the other hand, they have her biological father, her uncle and… her fiancé. Friends too, but those three were a bigger pull than just friends.

And then that whole thing about how I would’ve never been with her if they weren’t separated, because they would’ve been married. It just… it makes me mad, but at the same time… she still has her engagement ring… I saw it around her neck a few days ago, but I didn’t ask her about it. I don’t know if she’s always had it on her and I never noticed, or if she just started wearing it again.

Soap is one of the most annoying, frustrating bastards I’ve ever met in my life, and I’ve hated him from the get-go. He’s just so egotistical, and the jokes he would make about Cass made my blood boil. Yet, for some reason, Cass fell for him. For eight years, they never broke up once, and they were planning a wedding. How? What did she see in that prick?

We never talked about their relationship outside of a few minute details here and there. She said he was the first person she ever fell for, and she was in her twenties when they met. That there was no other person on the planet that made her feel the way he did. Their friendship moved quickly, only knew each other for a handful of months, then, boom. Their relationship started… at her move.

…Was Soap just that way to me because… he was supposed to be with her? Was I really just a rebound, a second choice because the first choice was no longer a choice? That’s the way it’s feeling to me, because since that dick has been back in her life, I felt her pulling away from me. It was slow at first, and it felt like it stopped when she chose me over him.

Then he goes and gets himself shot, and it ramps up. I thought her being around him all the time was to take care of him, but he should be at a point where he can take care of himself. Was Cass realizing that she wanted to be with him again? Wanting to go back to being Soap’s fiancé and not being… my girlfriend?

“Well, that sucked…” Logan muttered, “guess he was right…”

Hesh had his arms crossed, “I haven’t seen that smile from her in a long time. I can’t even think of the last time I saw it!”

Merrick shook his head, “So… what does this mean?”

Before Elias goes to speak the door opens, “Hey guys,” Cass walks in, smiling. Not her real, bright smile, just the one we’ve been given… not the one the Task Force gets…

“Hey, babe,” I smile as she walks towards me, “get enough sleep?”

As she sits down next to me, “I think so,” she kisses my cheek, “what’s going on, though? You all look… upset.”

Elias clears his throat, “We just got news that we’re being moved,” he’s able to hide his irritation from what we saw, “so, we’re heading out in two days.”

Cass looks down, “Oh, we are? Where to?”

“Not sure, we’re heading to another base,” Merrick explains, “then they’ll figure out where we’re going from there.”

“I figured this would be happening… you know, after dealing with Rorke,” she looks at me, “just thought maybe it’d be a little later.”

I shrug, “Order are orders. How are you going to break it to the others?”

Her eyes shoot down to the floor again, “I… I’m not sure…”

“Well, they just left you without telling you, you could do it to them,” Hesh suggests.

“Hesh,” Elias’ tone is sharp.

“I… I’ll still be able to keep in contact with them…”

“You can, and we’ll be off on another adventure,” Logan leans back, “instead of having to live in hiding.”

“I know, but… that’s still my Da… and my uncle… my friends… it’s going to be hard for me.”

“We could always go with you, or at least me,” I wrap my arm around her shoulders.

Elias stands up, “Or we could just go talk to them, keep you out of the middle this time,” his voice makes it sound more like an order for her to stay here, rather than just offering help.

Cass looks at him, “A-are you sure?”

“Course we’re sure,” he grabs the car keys, “we’ll be right back.”

All of us immediately follow him, though I give Cass a kiss before I walk through the door. “Should we be the ones doing this?” Merrick asks, “shouldn’t she break this to them?”

“No,” he climbs in the driver seat, “I want them to understand that this is her choice, and she’s already accepted going with us. You heard her; she knew.”

“But things tend to get violent when we’re there without her,” Logan leans forward, “we’re going to keep our cool, right?”

“Have to,” Hesh assures his brother, “just like we have to make them understand that she wants to leave with us.”

“I still think she should have come with us,” Merrick mutters.

Nothing more is said as we get out of the car and climb the steps up to the door. I don’t think this is going to go very well, since it never does. But telling them that Cass made her choice to leave them behind is probably going to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Elias knocks on the door, “Oh, hey,” Roach peeks out, “…mom should be with you guys, is she okay?”

“Yeah, can we come in?”

Roach raises an eyebrow at us, “Err… I guess...?”

“Uh, why are you guys here?” Gaz asks from his chair, “Cass should be with you.”

Merrick clears his throat, “We figured we should be the ones to tell you that we are being pulled somewhere else.”

“And Cass is coming with us, by her choice,” I cross my arms.

We wait for them to start yelling back at us, issuing threats… but they don’t. They just take turns looking at each other, “Um… you understand why we have a hard time believing you, right?” Ghost raises an eyebrow.

Griggs rolls his eyes, “We already knew about it, just didn’t know… that she’d pick to go with you guys…”

Soap walks into the living room, “Eh?”

MacMillian doesn’t look at him, “Apparently, Tweedy decided to go with them.”

“…She did?”

“If we believe them,” Roach nods towards them, “but they know how mad mom would be if they came over here just to lie to us.”

“I see…”

I can’t tell if they’re fucking with us or not, they seem genuine. We came expecting a battle, a screaming match, and we just get them… calm… and in understanding? That’s not who we’ve been dealing with this whole time, who are these people?

“We can see her before she leaves, right?” Ghost’s voice is extremely quiet, almost hard to hear him.

Logan glances around, “Yeah, we’re not leaving for two days. We just thought it’d be easier on her if we were the ones who let you know she chose to leave with us.”

The room becomes quiet again, “Could you guys leave?” Price asks.

“Yeah…” I mutter, this was not what I was expecting… and it just made me question everything even more than I was.

Chapter Text

I try to stop my sobbing, but I can’t. I don’t know if I want to go with them, or if I want to stay… well… I know I want to stay… but I can’t do that to them. To Keegan. They never lied to me; they were there when I had nothing. The others seemed to get by well enough without me… so it wouldn’t be so different, at least they had a way to call me, right?

There was that pull again, not just to Soap, either, but for my family. My friends, I didn’t realize how much I missed all of them until now. I missed having my dad with me, I missed all of the love they gave me, and I missed giving them all the love I have for them. I love the Ghosts too, though, so I keep getting stuck.

Soap’s healed up enough for him to deal with his injury on his own now… so there was no excuse I could think of to keep us here just a little longer… I’ve never been in this kind of position before and I hate it with every fiber of my being. This sucks so much. I feel anchored to both sides, ripping me into two. Kind of wish it could… then they’d each keep half of me…

Wiping my nose, my mind races with so many different thoughts, that I can’t even keep up with them or really sort them out. My life was flipped upside down four years ago, and it’s been flipped upside down again. It was so hard the first time, and now it’s harder the second time. What do I do? I know the One-Four-One will respect my decision… but I…

I hear the door shut again, and I straighten myself up as fast as I can. To hide how much I’ve been crying, to hide how much this is hurting me. Quickly running into my bathroom and shutting the door quietly. Something to give me more time to calm down, collect myself and pretend everything is fine. Something I’ve gotten used to…

Meanwhile…

[Soap’s POV]

I slide down onto the couch, “I can’t… do we really believe them?” My heart hurts so much, I thought… I thought she was falling for me again; it was all there. The way her voice was, the way her eyes were looking at me, I really thought that she was on the cusp of leaving that prick…

Roach had his face in his hands, “We know she’d be really pissed if they lied,” his voice muffled, “so why would they risk doing that?”

“We should talk to her,” Mac finally looks away from the door, “make sure this is what she really wants, not that those assholes are pressuring her.”

“Wouldn’t that go against what you told us to do?” Ghost scratches the arm of the chair, “to let her do what she chooses?”

“But this…” he stops, “…I don’t get how she’s picking them… she’s my Tweedy, lads…”

Price pats his shoulder once, “Neither do I…”

“Can’t we say anything?” Gaz asks, “just a little bit?”

“What would it do?” Griggs glances over, “besides… I don’t want to stress her out anymore…”

“And in a way… it’s our fault…” Ghost mutters, “maybe this is our karma. We lied to her, we left her behind… it’d make sense for her to leave us behind too…”

My throat tightens, “We did… didn’t we? We didn’t have a choice.”

Roach stands up abruptly, “Doesn’t matter,” he starts walking towards his room, “none of this matters,” we hear his door slam.

Griggs looked over his shoulder, “Never seen him storm off before.”

“What do we do?” I look to Mac again, hoping he’d know what to do. Cass is his daughter, there has to be a way.  

Mac has his eyes locked on the door again, “What can we do?”

Gaz clears his throat, “We can go talk to her, just to make absolutely sure this is what she wants to do.”

“Then she might get mad that we can’t accept what she chose, and that we should be the last ones to say anything,” he counters, “I know how my daughter’s mind works to some degree.”

“We’re just stuck, then?”

“Aye… we are…”

That Night

[Roach’s POV]

I quietly climb out of my window, we tried taking the higher road with these people, hoping that would make her see we were the better choice. Instead, they’re still going to take her with them. I know mom doesn’t want to go with them, there’s no way she’d choose them over us without them applying some kind of pressure to her. I’m not letting her go again without a fight.

Who cares what Mac says? All of this could’ve been avoided if we just told her what was going on, and just swore her to secrecy. No, we didn’t do that, and maybe this was karma. I’m not above trying to make karma go fuck itself, though. I’ve got one attempt, and I’m not really going against what Mac said. I’m going to level one on one with Logan, he’ll listen.

Sure, he might be one of those assholes, but I know that he’ll listen to me. And I’ll make him see what they’re doing, if I can just get him to admit that she never really said yes herself. Because, again, I refuse to believe that mom is choosing to leave all of us behind. She was already sick of the Military bullshit four years ago! Why would she choose to keep doing it?!

I heard her talk to Soap about it! She said that after everything was done, that her and Soap are not renewing their contracts. That they’re out, planning their wedding – their lives together and getting away from this. She was ready to settle down, get married, have kids and finally relax outside of the stressful life the Military provided. How did Soap forget that?

Keegan can’t give her any of that, he’s too selfish. Not only that, but I also know he’s not ready to give up that kind of life. So, the good thing, if he really loved mom, to do would be to let her go. She wants to just have a calm life, and she’s finally being given that chance all over again. She needs to take it, how is she not seeing that? She’d be a great mom too!

She has baby names written in her journal, her and Soap were just about done with their planning. All of us had our roles in their wedding, they had the date set. All they had left to do was book a venue, hire catering, and boom! Wedding day! Followed by their honeymoon throughout Europe! Then they’d finally come home and begin to build their family.

That’s what I want for mom. I want her to be happy, and I’ll be the one to tell the truth and say it with my whole chest. That group can’t make her happy, they won’t even take her needs into consideration! How can you make a person happy if you don’t even know what they want for themselves? She was so excited for that life; a life she deserves after all the things she’s gone through. I’ll make those asshats understand that much.

I knock on the front door, “Uh… what’s up, Roach?” Hesh asks, looking at his watch, “Cass is asleep already. Back at your place.”

“I’m not here to talk to her, I’m here to talk to Logan,” I kind of want to say everyone, but I don’t.

Logan pokes his head out from the living room, “Oh, about what?”

“Something,” my eyes glance to Hesh, “privately.”

“If this is about Cass leaving, then I don’t need to talk to you.”

“Fine,” I snap, “I’ll talk to all of you assholes about that.”

Merrick walks out of the kitchen, “Excuse us?”

I stomp into their living room, where they seemed to be all located. Turning off the TV, “You guys have to be the most selfish group of soldiers I’ve ever met.” I keep my legs from shaking. Usually having the others to step up, have the bigger voices, the more noticeable muscles – I needed to try to hone their power in.

Keegan sits up, “We’re the selfish soldiers? Not the ones who lied to her?”

“My God, play a different record,” crossing my arms, “I’m talking about now.”

Elias is glaring at me, “And what is it we’re doing that’s just so selfish?”

“For not realizing what mom really wants, and you’re even more self-centered than I thought if you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

Logan shares a look with his brother, “Talking about…”

Shaking my head, “Mom has been sick of being in the Military for four years, at the least, so I’m having a difficult time believing that she’d still want to continue that with you guys. She was so ready to get out of it the moment we dealt with Makarov. Before everything went to shit, anyway.”

Elias scoffs slightly, “Then why did she agree to come with me in the first place?”

“Gee, I don’t know,” I mock slightly, “maybe because she had no where else to go? Maybe I’m reaching.”

“Don’t talk to my dad like that, dude,” Hesh warns me, but I don’t care.

“I’ll talk to him how he talks to Mac, and another thing,” I go back to Elias, “you’re kind of a shit dad.”

Logan jumps up, “Take that shit back and leave. Before I hurt you.”

“How would you feel if Mac tried taking Logan or Hesh away from you?” I ask, “what would that do to you? Because that’s what you’re doing to Mac. You’re taking his only child. How about you leave Hesh or Logan with us?”

He stares me down for a moment, but it doesn’t phase me one bit. Between Ghost’s, mom’s, Mac’s and Soap’s glares, this dude has nothing on theirs. Saying nothing as I wait for a response from him, but if I’ve learned one thing, if someone takes a long time to respond, it’s because they don’t have a good answer.

“No answer?”

“It’s not the same thing.”

“Yeah, it is. If it’s okay for mom to leave Mac behind, then it’s okay for Hesh or Logan to leave you behind. Fair is fair, pick one to leave here. If Mac’s okay with it, and since you insist, you’re the better parent, you should be over the moon to let us borrow one. So, pick.”

As Elias breaks eye contact with me, I take it as I win that point against him. “And Keegan,” I turn to him, “you’ll never be able to make her happier than we can.”

“Oh, please,” he smirks, “I’m sure we make her happier than a bunch of liars.”

“Oh, really?” I lean forward, “So, when do you plan on proposing to her?”

Merrick looked on from the kitchen doorway, “Why would that be necessary right now?”

“Not talking to you, bud,” nodding at Keegan, “when are you going to propose?”

“I don’t know why that’s any of your business.”

I let out a loud laugh, “Holy shit, you guys really don’t know her, huh?”

Logan sits back down, “What are you on, Gary? Where’d these balls come from?”

“These balls came from me needing to speak up for mom,” I snap, “all she’s wanted for so long was to get married, settle down and have kids. That she even has some baby names in her journal, her wedding was planned, and she was so eager to start that part of her life. And that’s something you can’t give her, Keegan.”

Keegan looks back at me, “And you know that how?”

“Alright, when’s the proposal happening?” I ask again, “are you not renewing your contract? Ready to have kids? The whole nine yards? Because that’s where mom’s life is at right now. Is that where you are? Or are you just going to throw that to the wayside, so Keegan gets what Keegan wants?”

“C…Cass hasn’t mentioned any of that.”

“Is it that she didn’t mention it, or you never asked? There’s a difference.”

There’s no answer from any of the Ghosts, and none of them are making eye contact with me. They never asked her any of these things, never brought up her dreams to her. These dickweeds have been dragging us for a single lie we told, a big one, but a single one. At least we care about her, her feelings, her dreams and her desires.

I cross my arms, “You guys want to sit on your high horses and look down at us. At what we did. We have apologized so many times to her for doing that, and she’s accepted them a thousand times. We understand how much pain we caused her, and we have been working to try to drag some of it away from her, but you’re worse than what we did.”

“How’s that?” Keegan still won’t look at me.

“Because we consider what she wants,” I lower my voice slightly, “we know what she wants. I can still remember how much smiled when she was planning her wedding, a smile that I’ve never seen replicated at any other point, we—”

I’m interrupted by someone banging on the door, “Uh oh…” I guess… someone noticed I left… Please don’t let it be Mac…

Chapter Text

[Ghost’s POV]

Where in the flying fuck did my Gameboy go? I already asked everyone, and everyone said they didn’t have it. I’ve even gone through their rooms! …and I found some things that made me wish I never even looked in the first place, so I guess that’s my punishment for that…

Roach. I know he denied it over and over again, but I know he’s hiding it somewhere. Was it in his room when I tore through it? No. But he’s got a handful of hiding places, probably ones that I don’t even know about! I’m going to shake him upside down until he tells me, just like back on base. Might feel a little nostalgic.

I knock on his door lightly, since it’s close to Mac’s. Whom still has Cass back there and told us not to bring any of it up to her. He wants… the last two days with her to be calm and wants her to remain happy until she leaves us. Which I still call bullshit on, but an order is still an order, after all. Uniform or not, I still respect that man.

“Open the door, bug,” I harshly whisper.

Something is off, there’s no noise, no shuffling around, can’t even hear any breathing. Handel’s  unlocked, which is also odd. Roach usually doesn’t leave his door unlocked, even if he’s in his room. Says it’s to keep people out, and by people he means me, and I wouldn’t have to break into his room if he’d leave my stuff alone.

Quietly, I open the door, “Roach?” I flip the light switch on.

There’s no Roach, though. I look into the closet, still no bug. As my eyes glance over the room, his window is open. Why would… oh, great. Roach, in all his dumbass glory, snuck over to the other side. And I say dumbass glory, because he’s probably getting his ass kicked right about now. Ugh, guess I better go pick him up.

Jumping down from his window, I don’t want to have anyone see me go through the front door. Everyone’s sleeping schedule is really fucked up right now, especially Soap’s and Mac’s. I can’t even remember the last time Mac slept, and Soap’s pretty much been drifting between lying in complete darkness in his room or pretending to watch TV in the living room.

Soap was so convinced that Cass was coming back to him, that she was just about to break up with Keegan. Hell, I was too, honestly. Those two were acting like they were together again, just minus the affectionate stuff. Their annoying inside jokes, Cass’ giggle laugh, the laugh that only Soap can get her to make, and they were always next to each other. Didn’t physically touch each other, but still.

But then she turns around and chooses to go with them, and that’s not making any sense to me whatsoever. Cass and I were close back then, considered each other best friends, and there is no way that she’d make this choice. Because she’s not stupid and going with them is really stupid. It just drives me fucking nuts that I can’t tell her that to her face.

Cass and I are very blunt with each other, we always have been. She needed to be blunt with me when I was still acting like a numb jackass when they brought me into the One-Four-One. I didn’t appreciate it very much at the time, but I understood why she had to do it. Ever since then, we’ve had no issues being assholes to each other when the other one was being an idiot. And going with them is an idiot decision.

 She belongs with us, no matter what those wannabe me’s think. Roach said that he was done being the bigger person, and that he was going to stoop down to their level. What that completely means, I have no idea, but he seemed determined in what he said. For the one that’s supposed to be quiet one of us, he’s over here disobeying Mac.

I bang on the door and as soon as it opens, I shove my shoulder into it. Knocking over Hesh, I run into the living room. …And he’s okay. Roach rubs the back of his neck as he stands in front of their TV, and the Ghosts… look like us after we get scolded by Mac or Price. What the hell did he say to these people?

“Roach,” I walk over, “what’s going on?”

Roach looks at me, “telling these jackasses what they need to hear. Even if no one wants me to say it,” he crosses his arms, “and I’m not going back until I’m done.”

“What do you mean no one wants you to say it?” Hesh asks as he rubs his back, “thanks for launching me from the door, asshole,” he nearly spits at me.

Ignoring what he said, “Mac wanted us to keep out mouths shut about our feelings on Cass leaving us. Wanted to keep her stress free and wanted to spend what time he has left with his Princess in a happy mood.”

“We couldn’t even talk to her about it, so I’m taking the next step to tell you guys how fucking selfish you are.”

“Right, right,” I pause, “can you tell me what chapter of the dumbass list you’re on?”

“Wedding planning, the kids stuff.”

“Oh, the wedding planning. Remember Soap sending us to pick up the sample bouquet?”

Roach snickers, “And we ended up grabbing the wrong one, gave it to him…”

“And he yells, ‘they’re meant to be violets and blue bells, you muppets!’ right in front of Price and Mac?”

The both of us start laughing, “Wait, wait, wait! Remember when we all demanded a kid name?!”

“Oh, my God, the look on Soap’s face was one of the best things I ever saw,” I hold my stomach slightly.

“How many pups do you think we’re going to have?” Roach mocks Soap’s accent.

“Only five, sir!” We shout at the same time, and Roach wipes one of his eyes as he lurches forward.

The two of us look at each other, and then glance over at the Ghosts. They’re all just staring at us, I think we both forgot where we were for a moment. It was like getting lost into the great times before everything went to absolute hell. And it made me realize so much more of why Cass belongs with us.

I clear my throat, “Look, man to man, Keegan,” making eye contact with him, “if Shepherd wasn’t a cunt, you and Cass would’ve never met. Let alone be together. The two of them would’ve married in December twenty-eighteen, and I would think there’d be at least one kid at this point in time. And that’s just the way it is.”

“But that’s not how it went,” Keegan shoots back at me.

“They would’ve been married in June of twenty-sixteen,” Roach crosses his arms.

“Would’ve been?”

“Oh, right,” I glance up as I think, “they were discussing just eloping. Giving up the whole wedding thing, no dress, no flowers, - just a simple signing on papers and that’s it. Didn’t happen, though. Soap said no.”

Logan raises an eyebrow, “Because he wasn’t ready?”

“Nope,” Roach shook his head, “because he knew what having a wedding meant to mom. How much planning she put into it, every little minor detail. And she was very detailed, all the way down to wanting her invitations spritzed with cinnamon.”

“Even though he didn’t care about all of that at all. All he cared about was Cass being content, and it ends in the two of them being married. If she wanted that huge wedding, the ballgown, all the flashing lights, photos and everything else, that’s what he wanted too. Because he loves her, and all he wants is for her to be happy.”

“So, he said no, because he wasn’t going to let her throw that away. Mom even pestered him for a few weeks over it, about how the wedding wasn’t important, and she changed her mind. When she didn’t, and he knew she didn’t. He held firm, and she was happy he did… until, you know, everything kind of… blew up.”

My mind starts wandering off to those memories again, “The part that I don’t understand, well, I don’t understand a lot of this, is her choosing to stay in the Military. Cass has been done with all of this for years, and now she has a chance to finally be free of it again… and she turns it down? I don’t care what bullshit you try to sell us, that makes absolutely zero sense.”

“That’s what I said!” Roach points at them, “She’s been in the Military nearly her entire life, she grew up on bases, she grew up with Mac, she became a soldier herself, she was there when Zakhaev was taken down, she and Soap built a Task Force together and by the time Ghost and I met them, she was sick of it! Openly!”

Merrick is staring me down, “Well, she chose to come with us.”

“Oh, gee, really? You mean someone who doesn’t have anyone left decided to go with people so they wouldn’t be alone? My God, that’s just so fucking abnormal, somebody call the fucking news.”

“They don’t care about her, Simon,” Roach glares out in front of him, “they care about themselves. ‘She still came with us, that’s not how it turned out, why did she stay enlisted, why should we take her fe…’ wait, that last bit isn’t something you dicks do.”

“Yeah,” I start walking towards the door, “I picked up on that,” I turn around, “just always remember something, every last one of you is second fiddle to the rest of us. And Keegan, you’re a fucking rebound, no matter how you try to twist it to make yourself feel better.”

Roach nods with me, “I’m so glad you’re going to just make mom push her dreams of at least wanting children out the window. Women don’t have their entire lives, but if Keegan wants to continue to drag her around, that’s on him.”

“Adios, twats,” I slam the door shut behind us, “what the fuck were you thinking? Coming over here by yourself?”

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, “That I wasn’t letting her go without a fight this time,” he looks at me, “…I don’t wanna lose her again…”

“None of us do, but I don’t know how to get to her about it.”

“I may have… rattled a beehive earlier today…”

“Eh?”

Roach nods towards our home, “When Soap was pretending to watch a movie on the TV, I was sitting behind the couch. I told him that if he gets a chance with mom alone, that he needs to spill every last feeling he has. Until he runs out of words.”

“That’s why he was lying so weird,” I look back at him, “I thought his shoulder was bothering him again.”

“I figure if Mac isn’t budging for whatever stupid reason, Soap would. I told him about what I was planning to do, and he said he’d tag along if he wasn’t still injured. So, I figured he’d be next in line to get her to really listen.”

“Good call, mate.”

“Wait…” Roach stops walking, “how’d you even know I left?”

I cross my arms, “Where’s my Gameboy?”

“I DON’T HAVE YOUR FUCKING GAMEBOY, SIMON!”

Chapter Text

[Soap’s POV]

I stare at the ceiling, nothing on the telly was even remotely entertaining to ignore. So, being in the dark, at night in my room, usually people will leave me alone. There’s no reason to check on me anymore, my shoulder is fine, it’s still uncomfortable, but fine. Which is great because I want everyone to leave me alone.

Cass was acting like Cass again; I haven’t even heard her mutter his name in a few days now. Before them telling us that she chose to leave with them, which is why I’m confused. It was like when she was over here, the other side didn’t exist at all. Like it was back when things made sense, when she was Mac’s daughter, Price’s niece, Roach’s ‘mom’… my fiancé…

Then it was like a sick joke, and someone ripped the rug out from under all of us. We hit the floor, looking around at each other, beyond confused and trying to make sure we all heard the same thing. And we all refuse to believe that Cass herself made this choice, even Mac, but he told us that he didn’t want to risk never seeing or hearing from her again.

I’ve spent the last four years worrying about her, wondering if she was okay, where she went, if they discharged her… from the only life she ever knew… I even clocked Price in the face the moment I saw him without her. That he just left her behind to come back to us, I would’ve done more if Gaz and Ghost hadn’t intervened. He argued they would never let him completely clear his name, but she kept her nose clean enough. Still didn’t talk to him for a few weeks.

Every anniversary we shared, the day we met, the day we first kissed, the day we got together, the day I proposed and the day we were supposed to get married… I spent by disappearing to just be alone… because the only person I wanted to spend those days with wasn’t here. Cass wasn’t there to celebrate beside me, like all the times before… part of me wants to ask if she remembers that this is the eleventh anniversary of the day we met.

But I don’t know if that would upset her, or not. Mac didn’t want her upset for any reason, so I’ve chosen to bite my tongue about it. Not like I have much of a chance, anyway, not with him locking her up tighter than Fort Knox. He won’t even let Price enter that room after Cass has said her good nights to everyone. At that point, she is no longer here.

My eyes are caught by a silhouette, one that I know very well, and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen her hair neatly brushed out. How’d she get out of Mac’s room? It makes me be extra quiet to see if I can hear him talking to her, but there’s nothing. All I can hear is the wind rustling the surrounding trees, and some normal nature sounds you hear around forests.

After a good five minutes of hearing nothing outside and feeling no footsteps coming from inside. I carefully slip through my own window that leads onto the balcony, not wanting to use any of the doors in case someone is in the living room. I just want a few minutes to talk to her alone, before… you know… she leaves.

As I walk towards her, an almost silent creak from the wood sounds from under my foot. I see her sniper instinct slip in, and she immediately turns around, “Oh… hey, Soap. Is something bothering your shoulder?”

“No, I just thought you might’ve wanted company,” I rest my forearms on the railing, “if you don’t, I can leave.”

She smiles, “Your company is always welcome, you know that” she does the same as I did.

We both stand there, saying nothing. There’s so much I want to say to her, but all of it would piss Mac off if he knew I said any of it… then again… Roach somehow grew some bollocks and marched over to their side on his own to tear them in half, and here I am, being a coward. Out of all of us right now, he seemed to be fighting the hardest. Probably because he goes into a panic mode before the rest of us, but it’s working in his favor at the moment.

He said at this point, we’re at DEFCON two, and we needed to stop it from becoming one. That playing nice, trying to be the bigger people, all of that wasn’t working, so we all need a different approach. So, he decided he’d sneak over to their side to point out what they were doing, which he called selfish, douchey behavior. Then told me if I had a chance to talk to Cass alone… to let everything out. Show all my cards and keep talking until I can’t form anymore words.

I hesitantly grab her hand, taking a moment to see if she pulls away. Cass’ eyes glance towards our hands, and then towards me. Looking only from my peripheral, hoping if we don’t make direct contact, she wouldn’t pull away. “John?”

“Remember how’d you just lean against me, and ask what day it was?” I squeeze her hand, “and you wouldn’t move until I could remember what it was?”

She smirks, “Yeah, and how long did it take you most times?”

“Longer than it should’ve,” I clear my throat, “so… do you know what today it is?”

Cass looks out in front of her, “…Credenhill. When we met… eleven years ago…” finally making eye contact, “and you remembered before me?”

“That’s all I focused on,” my eyes glance over her head, “after… after the separation, I fixated on things I should’ve fixated on when we were together. Stuff that I didn’t think was all that important…”

“…Like what?”

“All those dates you liked doing something small for, and I somehow kept forgetting. I should’ve been on top of those just as much as you were, since it was for both of us. I should’ve helped more with the wedding planning, instead of just coasting through it because I figured it was just something you wanted…”

“You didn’t want to marry?”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” I grab her other hand, “I meant the wedding itself. All I cared about was your happiness, and as long as at the end of the day, you were Cassidy MacTavish, the details didn’t matter to me. I should’ve been more involved with the planning.”

Cass swallows hard, “I mean, you helped in your own ways. The theme of white and blue came from my engagement ring that you bought. And there wasn’t reason for you to find a tux since you’d be in your class A’s… Ghost, Roach, Price and my dad were in the same boat… at least you corrected the things people got wrong.”

I small laugh escapes me, “Blue bells and violets. Cinnamon, not chai because they’re not the same thing. Ballet veil, not Chapel veil, because you don’t want an overlap on your dress. You’d think professionals would know that” I pause after I see her eyes watering.

“God, all of that doesn’t even feel like it happened,” she squeezes her eyes shut, “but I held onto all of it so much, even after everyone was gone. For so long, I held onto memoires that hurt so fucking much and I couldn’t understand why I kept doing that to myself.”

“I didn’t either, but I think I know now,” placing my fingers under her chin to make her look at me, “and I keep doing it. Because as long as I had those memories to get lost in, that pain could be placated. I still do it too.”

I glare over her head, towards where those bastards are, “Even while you’re over there with those… people… that’s all I’ve been doing.”

Cass glances back, “At least you guys don’t insult them,” she shakes her head, “and… I understand that John… I do… but… it’s complicated.”

Cass pulls away from me to look towards where the Ghosts stay, and it drives me crazy. “It’s not complicated,” she doesn’t turn around, “I can read you better than anyone else on this planet. I know when you’re shutting down, and why you shut down.”

“I am not shutting down,” she mutters over her shoulder.

“The fuck you’re not,” I try to curb my tone, “I didn’t call you out on it when you chose that fucking bastard over me, but I’m doing it now. You are shutting down, so if you’re over the fucking moon with them, why do that?”

She doesn’t answer me, “If Keegan is just so amazing, this fucking irreplaceable prick, you tell me why you don’t act with him the same way you acted with me?”

“How would you even know how I acted with you?” Cass turns around, hands firmly on her hips.

“Because when we were together, you were always all over me – we were always all over each other. You never had any issue saying how much you love me, in fact,” I take a few steps towards her, “I’ve never heard you say you love him in front of anyone. I’m sure if asked everyone else, they’d have the same answer.”

Her eyes shoot to the floor, “If you are so in love with him, then explain to me why you still wear your engagement ring around your neck? Not just your engagement ring, but also my dog tags.”

“Because… they’re mine.”

“The engagement ring, sure, but not my dog tags.”

“You don’t get to tell me what’s mine and what’s not after you…” her voice breaks, “after the separation. You don’t get what happened to me.”

“I kn-“

“No, you don’t!” Cass screams at me, “I have never felt a worse fucking pain in my life, outside of thinking my dad was dead,” she’s stomping towards me, “I have so many fucking nightmares about that day, over and over. More than any of the other ones. Every time I try something else, and it ends the same!”

She heaves slightly as tears almost pour down her cheeks, “I got to be covered in my fiancé’s blood, after seeing him being blown out of a fucking church. Watching the trail of blood follow us, like a fucking broken sand-timer. Trying so fucking hard to stay focused on not dying myself, to not focus what was going on in front of my fucking eyes.”

“You get carried off the basketball court, put on a table,” I watch as she gestures in front of me, “Yuri trying to stop blood from one area, me trying to stop blood from another. All of the blood, pooling under the table and…”

Cass lurches forward slightly, “…and that was it. You were gone… my fiancé… my best friend… my soulmate… just… gone… you left me behind, when you promised you wouldn’t,” she finally looks at me again.

Her emeralds turned lime green, per usual when she gets this upset, her cheeks soaked in tears. Hair slightly frazzled, breathing quick and broken. She’s waiting for an answer, and I’m looking for the one that won’t make her stomp away from me. If you want to get through to Cass, your best bet was to do it when she was raw.

“Cass…,” I try to grab her.

She backs up slightly, “Cass nothing,” she runs her wrist under her eye, “you promised. Then I get completely deserted by everyone and have nothing left.”

This time, I grab both of her upper arms tightly, “You know how you didn’t want me to leave you? How much it hurt?”

“Yes,” she’s not looking at me.

“…then understand I’m having that same pain of you leaving me,” I make her look at me, “I don’t want you to leave me behind.”

Cass finally looks at me again, “It’s… it’s not the same. I can still…”

“You and I both know that something will come up and suddenly, they’ve lost our contact. Look me in the face and tell me they won’t do that,” I bring my face closer to hers, “you can’t, and you know that. They want you for themselves, and no one else.”

“Cass, you belong here. With all of us and I know you know that. On top of being specifically with us, I know full well you don’t want to keep being in the Military. That’s all you’re going to get. What about pups? What about marriage? Is Keegan ready for all of that?”

“We’ve never talked about it…”

“I can firmly say that he isn’t ready for any of that, but you are. Our lives are in stages,” I release my grip from her arms, “Keegan isn’t at that stage, or he wouldn’t be pushing forward to move on from… that cunt who shot me, I forgot his name. It sounds like he’s still committed to being in the Military.”

“But I know what stage you’re at, because we both came to that stage together. We built up our lives for seven years together, our goals were shared, and we both came to the conclusion that we were both done with the Military,” this time I grab her hands, “that it was time to leave because we both were ready to settle down, get married and have children. Isn’t that the life you want?”

Cass looks at her hands, “Of course that’s the life I want, but things aren’t that simple,” she puts her hand up when I go to answer her, “the complication is I’m still contracted.”

“Contracted?” I ask her.

“Military obligations?”

“No, I mean, you’re leaving because you’re contracted, not because you want to stay with Keegan. Because you haven’t mentioned that asshole once, I brought him up.”

“Well… I-I… I never…” She glances away after I raise an eyebrow at her, “it’s not…”

“Then what is it, love?” Bringing my tone down, “it’s not what?”

Cass looks towards our house, “I spent so much time trying to push all of you into one corner of my mind, a place that I didn’t visit. Thinking it was better that way because I was trying to find some way to move on, to get the pain to stop. And I kind of got to that place to where I could function, where I could interact with other people without needing to walk away with no notice.”

“Then when I finally get there, you guys show up in my life again. The whiplash was so nauseating, and I thought I was in a dream for the longest time. But after spending so much time with all of you… I remembered how much I missed all of you, even the annoying shit you guys do from time to time. I missed giving my love to all of you and missed getting the unique love that only you guys could give me.”

“But then I have to think of the Ghosts, who were there for me when everyone else was gone. Elias reached out when they were getting ready to discharge me but put in a good word for me. They accepted me with open arms… when I had nothing else. Not to mention being contracted…”

Tears start running down her cheeks again, “Then I look at all of your faces again, and… it makes me feel like I’m home. I hear your voices, your laughs, and it’s like that dark corner I stuffed all my memories of everyone in now has a spotlight on it… and that’s okay because I have you guys to relive those memories with.”

I wait a few moments to see if she’s done talking, “Cass, that’s because we are your home. We are your family. None of us thought we’d ever see you again, thinking it’d just be us. Then when we finally saw you… we were so excited to get that part of our lives back,” running my thumb across one of her cheeks, “the brightness, the unconditional love. None of us want to go back to not having that.”

Cass stares at my chest, “…If I could give you guys that, I would, but I can’t. When I signed that new contract, I had no one, and was operating on the knowledge that you guys were gone. Just like you guys couldn’t tell me about all your bullshit, I can’t turn around and tell the Military never mind.”

“Could just go MIA,” I look at the kitchen window, and I’m pretty sure I saw some silhouettes.

“They wouldn’t let me do that.”

“The Ghosts…” muttering bitterly.

Glancing over her shoulder, “…I want to stay here with my family. My dad. My uncle. My friends…”

Trying to hide the hurt, “Friends, huh?”

Her eyes shift back to me, and we hold contact. It slightly takes me back to the first time we met, how we both stood there for a moment, just staring into each other’s eyes… plus the mocking of Gaz, which was super annoying, but still.

“For now… I don’t know what we are…” she pretty much whispers.

“Fair enough…”

Chapter Text

Griggs’ POV

I’m quietly sitting in the living room, only having one lamp on next to me. I have no idea how long I’ve been out here, but I’ve been working on a letter. If Mac won’t let us talk to her, some of us were thinking of somehow sneaking her our letters. It’s the only plan that we have left, because those assholes aren’t going to change anything.

Here we were, finally having Macy back with us, everything felt somewhat normal. Then we see what’s tied to her, alright, we’ll try to get along, right? Like they’re our stepfamily or some shit, and boom. The stepfamily is a bunch of jackasses, and we got into a tug of war match over her. Not on our call either, they started it.

Everything was put together and unfolded so fucking fast, it made my head spin. I thought that was the craziest shit I’ve seen… but then they tell us Macy is leaving us? Absolutely fucking not, I don’t believe a word those dicks said, and no one else does either. Macy was ours again, it was like older times, there is no way she just turned around and marched the other way.

She was so much happier over here, man, why the fuck can they not just fuck off out of her life? Out of all our lives! Don’t you have some fucking work to do?! Ya’ll can go be the Ghosts without her, ya’ll can survive, I promise. If not, well, that’s not my problem and you fuckers aren’t a problem anymore. Either way, problem solved.

A crumpled-up piece of paper bounces off my temple, “Hey, what the fuck?” I turn to look.

“Twentieth fucking try,” Gaz shows his empty notepad, “I just couldn’t get through listing every single thing wrong with every single one of those twats. Then I couldn’t stop listing all the ways that this decision is fucking stupid.”

“I’m on ten,” my eyes gaze over my paper, “not doing much better myself.”

Gaz sits down across from me, “Cass isn’t making this choice,” he crosses his arms as he leans back in the recliner, “this doesn’t make sense. I’ve known Cass for literal years, and even though I can’t decipher down to the point say, Soap and Mac can, I’m still decent at it. Knowing that much, Cass isn’t leaving of her own accord.”

“Maybe you and I could sneak over to their side,” I let my notepad fall to the floor, “threats work sometimes.”

“Yeah, no,” he rolls his eyes, “tried that avenue. Price and Mac told me that if we hurt them, they could make themselves look like victims.”

“I said ‘threat’ not ‘injure’.”

“Oh, same thing.”

A small snort escapes me, “I won’t lie, I’ve kind of wondered how my fist would feel buried into Hesh’s face.”

“You and me both,” he sighs.

Some light noise comes from the hallway, so we both button our mouths. My boot slips my notepad under the couch, Gaz nonchalantly kicks his crumpled piece under the side table. “Price?” I question.

“What’s the rope for?” Gaz raises an eyebrow.

Price looks down at the rope, “Can’t decide.”

“Decide?”

“My first thought was maybe tying up Tweedy,” he drops it on the coffee table, “realized how one, she’d probably fight back, two, Mac would somehow know I was about to do it before I even did it, and three, they’d probably know we’d have her.”

“So, obviously, my plan B was just to tie all of them up, pack up and leave. I’m sure they’d get found,” he peeks through the blinds, “probably before they died.”

I blink once, “Yeah… none of those sound-like good ideas.”

“Which is why I’m still here,” he crosses his arms.

Gaz slinks down in his seat again, “Any other ideas? Non-crazy ones?”

Price rolls his eyes before plopping down onto the loveseat, but hops back up, “What the bloody hell just hit my back?” He digs through the cushion for a moment, “is this that stupid fucking thing Ghost has been looking for?”

“Yeah, that’s his Gameboy alright,” Gaz snickers.

Price grips it tightly in his hand, “I’m hitting him in his face with it,” he walks towards his room, “at least I’ll be hitting someone.”

The two of us shrug our shoulders as we follow behind him, Ghost has been up all of our asses for the last week looking for that thing. None of us had it after all, his lazy ass probably had too much to drink and left it buried in the loveseat.

“Where is he?” Price flipped the light on, and the room is empty.

Gaz glances towards Roach’s door, “Think he killed him?” He pokes the door slightly, it creaks open. Light was already on, but low and behold, that window is open.

“Oh, great,” Price leans out slightly, “Mac’s going to lose his shit if those two did anything. Man has nothing to lose, and this is the time everyone wants to test him?”

“Think Soap went with them?” Gaz looked over Price’s head.

“I don’t think so,” opening the bathroom door just in case, “you need to use the tree to climb down, his shoulder is still a little fucked. I know the dude’s strong, but I don’t see him being able to swing himself from this window, that far into the tree – only being able to use one hand to swing and grab.”

“Those twats didn’t invite me?” Gaz shakes his head, “takes Ghost with him, but not me. Rude.”

Not completely acknowledging what he said, “So… should we be doing anything?”

Price spins Roach’s computer chair around, “We wait for them to come back.”

“…and then…?”

“We remind them of what Mac told us,” Gaz leans against the wall, “hopefully before he notices something’s off.”

All I can do is shrug as I lean against the bathroom door, my eyes fixed on a photo Roach has on his bedside table. It was a photo, had to be when they were all on leave due to their clothing, but it was of him, Macy, Soap and Ghost standing in an archway. Macy was getting a piggyback ride from Soap, her arms wrapped around the top of his chest in such a way so she could place her cheek against his. Ghost, without his mask, his shoulder against the wall next to him, and Roach on the other side of Soap, his back against his wall and the bottom of one of his shoes against the wall as well.

I’ve never paid attention to any of the photos he’s had in here, but… I think it was subconscious, even before we had her back. Ghost and Roach knew her in a way that I and Gaz didn’t, no matter how much he denies it. They had more personal pictures with her, sure, we all had photos together when we were apart of each other’s lives, but they had more off time to spend. I never went on leave with Macy, Gaz did a few times.

Come to think of it, as I gaze around the room, he probably has the most photos up than all of us. Not that that’s a whole lot, but it was still more than us. It’s a mixture of his time before the One-Four-One, though there were more One-Four-One-time memories hung up. Not sure of the time period of the soldiers I don’t recognize, however, they might be part of the One-Four-One memories. I just don’t know.

The one hanging above his bed was of him and Cass, it had the nicest frame too. When I first met the dude, I thought that he had a romantic thing for her. Made me uncomfortable knowing full-well who Soap was with. But I couldn’t check if I was right or not because Ghost said nothing for weeks. Absolute weeks. Freaked me out from time to time, how would you react if you walked into a room, and there’s a six-two Brit sitting silently in the corner.

But when Ghost finally came around, I asked him about it. Brought up how it gave the vibe that Roach was into Macy, but the conversation didn’t go further than that. The moment that left my lips, Ghost was on the floor, laughing his ass off. Got Roach’s attention, so he comes into the room to see what was going on. Ghost tells him that I thought that he ‘had a thing for Macy’.

Roach had looked at me with furrowed eyebrows, assuring me that he looked at her like a mom. That there was undeniably no romantic feelings between the two, and the suggestion made him uncomfortable. Told me about how he and Ghost helped set up Soap’s proposal to Macy before everything went to shit, and that thought I had was long gone by the time that conversation finished up.

The photo above his bed looks like it was a selfie the two took together, given the angle that it’s at. Roach’s arm is over her shoulders, assuming his hand was holding the phone that took the picture. Macy was side eyeing him, though her smile was from her trying to keep a straight face as Roach made an over exaggerated, toothy smile. Wonder how long that was before everything crumbled from underneath their feet.

Our attentions shoot towards the window, Roach immediately seeing all three of us before he pulls himself up, “Okay, shh…”

“Hurry up!” Ghost harshly whispers, seeing Roach get raised slightly.

The moment Roach’s boots hit the ground, “Get the light,” his voice demanding, yet still quiet.

Ghost gets on his knees, “Stay low…”

“What the fuck did you two idiots do?” Price snaps.

Roach starts through the door first, “Soap and mom are on the balcony,” he moves slow, “maybe he’s going to fix this.”

“How the hell did Cass get around Mac?” Gaz asks, a question I was going to ask too.

“Don’t know,” Ghost whispers over his shoulder, “but it’s just them. We saw Cass out by herself, was going to climb up ourselves, but then we saw him. If Mac won’t do something, Soap will.”

The five of us are very quiet as we sit below the bay window, luckily the weather has been so nice, both side windows are cracked slightly. Ghost had a point, Soap was definitely second in line when it came to Macy’s emotions, no matter how much it annoys Price from time to time. Father, daughter bond is strong, and so is a fiancé bond.

“I held onto memoires that hurt so fucking much and I couldn’t understand why I kept doing that to myself.”

“I didn’t either, but I think I know now, and I keep doing it. Because as long as I had those memories to get lost in, that pain could be placated. I still do it too. Even while you’re over there with those… people… that’s all I’ve been doing.”

 “At least you guys don’t insult them and… I understand that John… I do… but… it’s complicated.”

“It’s not complicated. I can read you better than anyone else on this planet. I know when you’re shutting down, and why you shut down.”

“I am not shutting down.”

“The fuck you’re not. I didn’t call you out on it when you chose that fucking bastard over me, but I’m doing it now. You are shutting down, so if you’re over the fucking moon with them, why do that?”

“Those are not the emotions I meant, Soap…” Roach mutters, his fingers rubbing his temples.

“No, no, I think this is good,” Ghost looks up, “gotta get her pissed to get her to listen completely when she’s quiet.”

“At a time like this?”

“Last chance, mate.”

“If Keegan is just so amazing, this fucking irreplaceable prick, you tell me why you don’t act with him the same way you acted with me?”

“How would you even know how I acted with you?”

“Told you.”

“Because when we were together, you were always all over me – we were always all over each other. You never had any issue saying how much you love me, in fact… I never heard you say you love him in front of anyone. I’m sure if I asked everyone else, they’d have the same answer.”

“I mean, he’s not wrong,” I try to open my soda quietly.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Price looks at me.

“Gaz is over there eating fucking gummy-bears, and I can’t have a soda?”

“Ooo, pass some over here,” Roach holds his hand out.

 “If you are so in love with him, then explain to me why you still wear your engagement ring around your neck? Not just your engagement ring, but also my dog tags.”

“Because… they’re mine.”

“The engagement ring, sure, but not my dog tags.”

“You don’t get to tell me what’s mine and what’s not after you…” I think we all heard her voice break, “after the separation. You don’t get what happened to me.”

“I kn-“

“No, you don’t!”

When Macy screams, it makes me choke on my drink, Ghost nearly chokes on a gummy bear and Price is staring at the hallway. “Oh, shit…” Roach mutters.

Mac, who definitely heard Macy, his daughter, his Tweedy, scream and we heard him immediately. It was like we blinked, and he appeared in front of us. His eyes burning into us, “Where in the fuck is my child?”

“Uh…” Gaz mutters, “well…”

“I’m going to wring that boy’s neck,” he’s able to make out their shadows through the curtain.

As he turns towards the front door, Roach jumps onto his back. It… it doesn’t really do anything, besides make Mac turn his head to look at him. He’s five-ten, Mac is six-four, what the fuck did he think was going to happen? Roach looked at us, mouthing ‘help me’. Which we need to do, it sounds like Soap is getting through to her… painfully.

Ghost grabs Mac’s arms, “Sir, I respect you with every ounce of my being, but…”

Gaz stands in front of the door, “Let Soap do this. Let him fix this. I know that he’ll get the truth out of her, it’ll work.”

“If we let him do that, then we’ll never hear from her again,” Mac is still staring at Roach, and I’m trying not to laugh, honestly.

Price shakes his head, “We let her go, then we never hear from her again. Mac, you can’t believe that they won’t sever her contact with us. Elias is trying to take over your role already, remember?”

That comment makes his shoulder’s tense, “I know what that fucking wanker is trying to do.”

“Soap will get her to stay,” I nod towards the window, “I know he will. Just give him a chance to.”

“Get off,” he mutters towards Roach. As soon s he slides off his back, Mac finds his own spot in between Gaz and Price.

“I have never felt a worse fucking pain in my life, outside of thinking my dad was dead. I have so many fucking nightmares about that day, over and over. More than any of the other ones. Every time I try something else, and it ends the same!”

“I got to be covered in my fiancé’s blood, after seeing him being blown out of a fucking church. Watching the trail of blood follow us, like a fucking broken sand-timer. Trying so fucking hard to stay focused on not dying myself, to not focus what was going on in front of my fucking eyes.”

“You get carried off the basketball court, put on a table. Yuri trying to stop blood from one area, me trying to stop blood from another. All of the blood, pooling under the table and…”

 “…and that was it. You were gone… my fiancé… my best friend… my soulmate… just… gone… you left me behind, when you promised you wouldn’t…”

We all exchange looks; Macy never explained any part of her grieving with us. Not to any degree but it hurt, she cried, and it really destroyed her. But there were never details and hearing the way she dealt with Soap’s made me feel guilty, and probably the others. Hearing the matter of fact agony she went through dealing with just one of us was so… gut wrenching.

“Cass…”

“Cass nothing, you promised. Then I get completely deserted by everyone and have nothing left.”

 “You know how you didn’t want me to leave you? How much it hurt?”

“Yes…”

“…then understand I’m having that same pain of you leaving me. I don’t want you to leave me behind.”

“Or how about any of us, asshole?” Ghost asks towards the window.

“Shut the fuck up,” Roach throws a gummy bear, “this is between them.”

“…and us…” Gaz sips his drink.

“It’s… it’s not the same. I can still…”

“You and I both know that something will come up and suddenly, they’ve lost our contact. Look me in the face and tell me they won’t do that. You can’t, and you know that. They want you for themselves, and no one else.”

“Precisely,” Price glances at Mac.

Mac sighs, “Look, I don’t know what the fuck I’m meant to be doing. I get I’m usually the one on top of things, the leader, the backup planner. Understandable, but this is something else, this isn’t the fucking battlefield I’m used to. I’ve never had my own daughter used as a shield and partially a weapon against me in my entire life.”

None of us say anything as we see Mac’s stare go off into space, “You guys could never understand what I’m going through, Tweedy is and always will be my entire world. Without her… nothing mattered. Nothing. Everything was so dark for so long… then I finally get her back, the light finally returns to my eyes… and those fuckers are trying to rip it right back out of my retinas.”

“Cass, you belong here. With all of us and I know you know that. On top of being specifically with us, I know full well you don’t want to keep being in the Military. That’s all you’re going to get. What about pups? What about marriage? Is Keegan ready for all of that?”

“We’ve never talked about it…”

“Spoiler alert,” Ghost swallows a handful of chips, “he’s not. Roach and I can confirm.”

“Assholes…” Roach glares in the Ghosts’ direction.

“Eh?” Mac asks.

“…We probably could all confirm…” Ghost wipes his mouth, “if he was, he wouldn’t be pressing forward with their next assignment.”

“I can firmly say that he isn’t ready for any of that, but you are. Our lives are in stages. Keegan isn’t at that stage, or he wouldn’t be pushing forward to move on from… that cunt who shot me, I forgot his name. It sounds like he’s still committed to being in the Military.”

“But I know what stage you’re at, because we both came to that stage together. We built up our lives for seven years together, our goals were shared, and we both came to the conclusion that we were both done with the Military. That it was time to leave because we both were ready to settle down, get married and have children. Isn’t that the life you want?”

“Of course, that’s the life I want, but things aren’t that simple,” there’s a pause, “the complication is I’m still contracted.”

“Contracted?” All of ask, almost at once. Contracted, fine, can’t get out of that… but if that was it… it wasn’t Keegan.

“I fucking knew that she didn’t love him,” Mac stares towards where Macy is, “never heard her say it once. Couldn’t get her to shut up about the twit she’s talking to. Knew I wasn’t losing my touch in that department.”

“Contracted?”

“Military obligations?”

“No, I mean, you’re leaving because your contracted, not because you want to stay with Keegan. Because you haven’t mentioned that asshole once, I brought him up.”

“Well… I-I… I never… it’s not…”

“Then what is it, love? It’s not what?”

“…Well?” Gaz glances at the window.

“I spent so much time trying to push all of you into one corner of my mind, a place that I didn’t visit. Thinking it was better that way because I was trying to find some way to move on, to get the pain to stop. And I kind of got to that place to where I could function, where I could interact with other people without needing to walk away with no notice.”

“Then when I finally get there, you guys show up in my life again. The whiplash was so nauseating, and I thought I was in a dream for the longest time. But after spending so much time with all of you… I remembered how much I missed all of you, even the annoying shit you guys do from time to time. I missed giving my love to all of you and missed getting the unique love that only you guys could give me.”

“We missed you too,” Ghost smiles lightly, “however, I don’t know what annoying shit that I personally do, but I do agree everyone else does annoying shit.”

“Oh, right,” Price grabs Ghost’s Gameboy out of his pocket, “this says different,” he bounces it off his forehead.

“Ouch! …where was it?” He rubs his forehead.

“In the couch, you drunk,” I shake my head.

“Huh… didn’t think to check there.”

“But then I have to think of the Ghosts, who were there for me when everyone else was gone. Elias reached out when they were getting ready to discharge me but put in a good word for me. They accepted me with open arms… when I had nothing else. Not to mention being contracted…”

“I mean… you don’t have to,” Roach sips from his soda, “but I know why you think you have to.”

 “Then I look at all of your faces again, and… it makes me feel like I’m home. I hear your voices, your laughs, and it’s like that dark corner I stuffed all my memories of everyone in now has a spotlight on it… and that’s okay because I have you guys to relive those memories with.”

“Then stay here,” Price mutters.

“Can we just yank her through the window, and act like we’re not home?” Roach looks at everyone.

“Worth a shot,” Ghost goes to open the window even more.

“Shut it, both of you,” Mac warns the two of those idiots.

“Cass, that’s because we are your home. We are your family. None of us thought we’d ever see you again, thinking it’d just be us. Then when we finally saw you… we were so excited to get that part of our lives back. The brightness, the unconditional love. None of us want to go back to not having that.”

“…If I could give you guys that, I would, but I can’t. When I signed that new contract, I had no one, and was operating on the knowledge that you guys were gone. Just like you guys couldn’t tell me about all your bullshit, I can’t turn around and tell the Military never mind.”

“…Fair point…” Gaz sighs.

“Could just go MIA.”

“They wouldn’t let me do that.”

“The Ghosts…”

 “…I want to stay here with my family. My dad. My uncle. My friends…”

“We were right!” Mac harshly whispers, “there was no way she wanted to go with them. I knew she didn’t.”

I sigh contently, “At least we know she wants to stay here… even if she can’t…”

 “Friends, huh?” Damn. I heard the hurt in his voice.

“I prefer the term ‘son’, so I get it,” Roach mockingly sniffles.

“Fair enough…”

“Now we have hard proof, what can we do with it?” Gaz crosses his arms.

Mac looks down again, “Nothing… contracted, remember?”

Even after we’ve been proven right, that Macy does want to stay here… it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t have the choice to stay here, and the irony is she’s being taken away the same way we left… by the Military’s orders…

Chapter Text

Keegan’s POV

Elias decided that we should all sleep on what those two assholes said to us last night, but I haven’t even nodded off. Some of the things could be considered points, but it’s hard to give them any credit, given where they came from. I already folded enough to take Soap at his word, but now I have to try to take Ghost AND Roach at their words? Ugh.

Cass and I haven’t discussed things beyond our relationship as being boyfriend and girlfriend, since we haven’t been together for very long. Never really discussed a future, didn’t seem to be the right time… but all of this has made me think about the big picture and it’s… painful… for me.

I could never deny the mothering part of her, between Logan and especially Roach, that’s one of her core attributes. She’s always had that part of her showing, but none of us really got a big taste until we met the One-Four-One because Roach calls her ‘mom’. Everyone else over there acts like him calling her that was normal, and she has more patience for him… even more than she has for Logan.

Has she mentioned having her own kids from time to time? I mean… she has, but most people plan about having kids, and know if they even want any. I can’t verify Roach’s claim that she has baby names written down anywhere, but it’s not out of speculation. If she’s able to give that mothering comfort to adult men, then she probably has a lot to give to her own birth children.

And that’s where the pain starts for me… I can’t see myself having children any time soon… or even at all. I’ve played with the thought from time to time, having a little piece of me running around for me to take care of, and for a little bit, the thought is fun. Then I think about the pregnancy, the birthing, the sleepless nights, the diapers, an eighteen year commitment… then suddenly, I’m good not having any.

While thinking on that, I’m reminded of the chat we all had during the Rorke thing. About how Soap and Cass were openly talking about… pups… they called them. Mac letting the then engaged couple aware of his wants of grandchildren, and Cass was beyond ready and happy to give not only Mac grandchildren, but to give Soap children. Soap, while not ready, was still happy to create a family with her.

Then that conversation just brought more, and more other mentions to the forefront of my mind. She had mentioned kids on so many other occasions, some was before we were together, some lightly nodded to after we got together. Was she testing the waters? Seeing which way I was leaning when it came to a family? Maybe…

My mind shifted to the marriage part of it, and that seemed more doable. If she and I did get married, it’d just be a wedding, right? Then we just go back to business… a business she didn’t want to be apart of anymore, if I want to believe Ghost and Roach. I’d be dragging Cass through a life that she didn’t want to live anymore… and it made my stomach sink.

Soap was ready to leave all of that for her, ready to give her his name, ready to give her a family, give her everything and anything she wanted… he gave her to me, if us being together made her happy… all he wanted was for her to be happy, and if it wasn’t with him in the picture, he accepted that. They all did, but he did first.

As much as I want to hate that Scottish bastard, there’s a part of me that can respect him. Soap, even if I despise him, is a selfless person when it came to Cass. She could probably tell him to jump through a roaring fire, and he’d do it. She could drag him through hell, into the darkest of tunnels, and into places that no one knew existed… and be there, smiling with her.

And I was already folding at just the thought of having a kid. At the thought of no longer being a Ghost, no longer being in the Military, this was the life I wanted. It’s something I can’t let go, this was what I was born to do, and I had never even thought about leaving it behind. Especially not now, with Rorke dealt with, being able to move forward…

Was Roach, right? Was, at least me, being selfish? If Cass did want to leave the Military, have a wedding and create a family… was I just standing in the middle of that? I’m starting to feel like I am, simply because I can’t tell myself that I could give that to her. Maybe the marriage, but the kid part was just… something that I can’t see any time soon.

I tried to comfort myself by trying to justify Soap’s willingness to settle down was due to him being older… but, recently, I found out that we’re the same age. I’m even a few months older… So, there goes that excuse… and that’s really all I had. I know what Cass wants out of life… and it’s not the same thing as what I want out of it, and it’s tearing my heart in half.

I love Cass very deeply, and the thought of letting her go made me nauseous… but I’d feel even worse dragging her through a place she didn’t want to be in just to keep myself happy. That side was where she wants to be in life, out of the Military, able to settle down and just… live. Without stress, without the thoughts of constant death, to be able to spend time together, and live the rest of their lives together in peace.

And that’s something I can’t give her…

[The Next Morning]

We’re all sitting at the kitchen table, and I’ve been staring blankly into my coffee. In a few hours, we’re meant to drive over to their side to pick Cass up since it’s time to go. I sat in her cleaned-out room for some time last night, all of her things are in the bag by the door, leaning against my own. Ready for me to grab for her, to throw into the back of the car, and pick her up from her family and friends. Thought I’d be more excited about this, but I’m not.

All I did last night was stew in my own thoughts, and they were all awful. I can’t convince myself that I’m not being selfish when it came to her needs. Cass wants peace, I want to fight, she wants quiet, I want excitement... and that leaves us in a place where neither of us could end up happy together. Either I’m unhappy by leaving the Military to give her the family she wants, or she’s unhappy staying in the Military and still longing to build her own family. Wrong time. Wrong place. And my heart’s broken.

“We need to let her go,” I finally muster up to leave my throat.

Hesh pushes his coffee from him, “So, we’re just believing those two?”

“They could just be lying to make us think she’s not happy,” Logan looks at me, “they’re not above doing that.”

“Why would they risk making her upset?” I counter, “do you honestly think they’d risk that?”

“…No…”

Elias shakes his head, “I still think they’re lying; I don’t get how you’re buying into what they say, Keegan.”

“Because I’m not going to make her life miserable,” I slam my cup down, hearing a small crack at the handle, “I stayed up all night last night, thinking everything over. She’s mentioned kids to me so many times, not to mention marriage in general. I can firmly say that I don’t see myself having kids any time soon, or ever.”

Gritting my teeth, “I’m not going to lead her into a life where her needs and my needs will never be met. I love her too much for that…”

The table is silent again, since they leaned on what I think we need to do. I know what we need to do, and that’s to leave Cass with the people who can give her what she needs… and that’s the One-Four-One… not us. It’s putting my heart into a blender right now, but I’d never forgive myself if I forced her into a life, she wasn’t happy in. This is what is best for her… without me.

Merrick clears his throat, “…So, this is it?”

“What about the contract?” Logan looks at his dad.

“Logan has a point.”

“You do realize if you hold on to her like you’re attempting to, I’m not backing a single word any of you say,” I look up again, “you wanted what I thought was best. The contract can be gotten around with a simple MIA or KIA during the Rorke ordeal. Not like next of kin is going to be a thing for her.”

“You thought about all of it, huh?”

“I thought about what was best for Cass,” clenching my fist, “what she deserves. The life that she deserves is with the only people who can give her that, and it’s not us. We’re all going in a direction that her happiness isn’t in, and I’ve accepted that. If we’re all trying to do that, then leaving her with them is what we need to do for her, not our own comfort.”

“…But she’s a Ghost…” Logan mutters.

Merrick sighs, “Keegan’s right. If we drag her with us, we’ll be hurting her. They’re all out of this life, even if they weren’t ready, but she is. Her being with them is what we need to do. No matter how much it hurts us.”

Hesh’s eyes shoot back towards the table, “If this is really what we need to do… then we do it. As much as I think she should come with us, I don’t want to be a reason she dislikes any part of her life.”

Elias rolls his shoulders, “…I suppose I should go… doctor the paperwork…” he scoots his chair back from the table quickly, leaving the room just as fast. I get that he can see the soldier she is, how she was molded from birth to be in this lifestyle, but she could only do it for so long.

We all share looks with each other, tears burning at the backs of our eyes. It was like losing someone through death, a Ghost through death. But we all understand that we want her to be happy, all she’s done for us was give us love, joy, and everything in between. Now it’s our turns to give her the life she wants, even if it means we’re walking away from someone we love.

“Wish we thought about all of this sooner…” Hesh mutters, “then we could’ve spent the last two days with her instead.”

“We’ve had her for almost five years,” Merrick rubs his eye, trying to hide the fact a tear had slipped down his cheek.

“And they had her more than we have,” he glances over at him.

“…I’m gonna miss Roach… just a little bit…” Logan sniffles.

“Even if Ghost and I spent most of the time fighting,” Merrick chuckles slightly, “it was fun having someone to compete with like that. That Brit could keep up with me, even with it pissing me off.”

“I don’t know who had the better insults, Gaz or Griggs,” Hesh’s lips pull to the right slightly, “maybe Gaz, since he was using British insults.”

I can feel their eyes on me, “I can’t say that I’ll miss Soap, or any of that… but I can say one thing firmly about that asshole.”

“And that is?”

“I know Soap will take care of Cass in every way she needs,” my gaze shifts upwards, “and I’ll never have to worry about her being alright, or if she’s with the right people. As much as it makes me want to vomit as I say this, mostly from pain, the One-Four-One are the perfect people to leave her with. They’d never let anything happen to her.”

All we can do is share is a nod, our conversation dropped from the air the moment we hear Elias throw his door open again. He’s going to be pissed for the next few days, if not weeks, but he’ll get over it. He won’t really have a choice in the matter, but we’re going to understand all the snapping coming our way.

Chapter Text

All of us are siting in the living room, sharing looks with each other. The Ghosts will be picking me up within the next thirty or so minutes. I got to spend the last two days here… with my family, and I don’t want to leave them behind. But I have to, and they know that I have to.

I know we should start saying our goodbyes, but there’s a permanent lump in my throat that’s keeping me from saying anything. The pain hung in the air, all of us breathing the same oxygen, and I can’t help but wonder if they were having a hard time talking to. Those words again, having to say them again was just a lot.

Ghost clears his throat as he walks towards me, “I think you’re going to need this back, right?” He shakily holds his balaclava out to me, “because… you know… I don’t need it…”

Tears rush my eyes immediately, standing up to hug him, “Thank you, Simon,” my voice breaks.

His hugs were always something else, he squeezes extremely tightly, yet I never felt any discomfort. A sniffle comes, “You’re welcome, midget. Just make sure you don’t get it dirty,” he tries to joke. All of us tend to use humor to cope, whether with our own pain, the bullshit situation we find ourselves in, if it’s uncomfortable, we’d find a joke or two to make.

When he pulls away, I’m met with everyone else’s glassy eyes, all of us acknowledging that it was time to say goodbye all over again. Somehow this hurts more than before, more than when I thought I had lost them completely. My lungs are having a hard time taking any air in, my breathing noticeable.

Griggs made a slight shrugging gesture, his palms slapping against the sides of his legs, “Guess this is it again, Macy,” he tries to keep his voice strong, “when the… the contract expires, I hope that means you’re coming back to us… right?”

 My arms lock around him next, “Of course I’m coming back,” his cologne hits me in the face as his arms coil around me in return.

“You can leave the Step-Family at home next time, the whole blending family shit didn’t seem to work very well.”

The comment gets a small chuckle from all of us, “It really, really didn’t,” a small laugh escapes me, “you guys are too spoiled.”

“Is that right?” Gaz asks as he walks towards me, “If so, guess who made us this way, Cass?”

I can’t help but notice that Gaz is holding himself together, not a single tear has actually escaped either eye. The glassiness was there still, “I take complete responsibility in your guys’ attitude, but it doesn’t mean you have to act spoiled, now does it, Gareth?”

“Eh, where’s the fun in not being an twat every now and again?” He heavy sighs as he pulls me into his hug.

“There are times when you’re not a twat?”

“Touché.”

Roach finally stands up from his chair, a wobble in his knees. My mind tries to push out the sobbing I heard last night, after I snuck back into dad’s room after he went to the bathroom. Gary was having one of his anxiety attacks, Ghost and Gaz were doing everything in their power to try and ground him. Or even get him to quiet his crying, anything. The tears of, ‘I fought so hard for her to stay this time. Why do I keep losing everything over and over again? How is this fair, she doesn’t even want to leave. We know she doesn’t’ My heart breaks as it rushes through my ears again.

Roach stands in front of me for a moment, the river of tears I have under my eyes were reflected back at me as the light got caught on his cheeks. In take a sharp inhale as I pull him towards me, him almost folding to the floor, but he stiffens his legs. His hug feels like it’s going to crush my ribs, but I pretend that I don’t feel that. “You’re not allowed to make any cookies for Logan,” he mutters down at me, “you made them for me first, so I feel like I’m allowed to say that.”

I smirk at him when he pulls away, “I guess you have a point, Gary. I promise I won’t make him your cookies.”

“Thank you because he doesn’t deserve them,” he rubs his wrists under his eyes.

Not saying it out loud, but the last three are definitely going to be the hardest to do. Price steps up first, “Whether you’re making the choice to leave or not, and you don’t have to tell me. Because I know the answer,” he places a hand on my shoulder, “we will always be here for you. When you come back, or you need help… we’re here. You know that, right, Tweedy?”

“Ye-ah,” it’s broken, “I know, Uncle Price, I know,” I hug him as tight as I can.

“And the masks we show up in will be so much cooler than theirs, that’s for sure,” Gaz quips, and he laughs loudly…

But when I pull away from Price, it’s him finally falling apart. Still in a slight hug with Price, I gesture for him to come join it. The three of us stand there, embracing each other. The three of us had a special bond together, before Soap, before anyone else in here. We worked together for a handful of years, no one else, not even dad.  So, I think it makes sense for him to share a hug with Price and I.

“I suggest half-face masks,” I inhale sharply, “more style.”

“As long as they’re not hooded, I’m in,” Griggs pats Gaz’s back once.

“I’m not cutting my mask, I hope you guys know that” Ghost clears his throat, chasing some of the emotion away, “it wouldn’t feel right on my face.”

“That’s Cass’ mask now, mate,” Gaz looks at him.

“Don’t you dare.”

Mac stands from his chair as he walks towards me, the other’s parting like the red sea. He and I hold eye contact for a good moment before he kneels down in front of me. His hands start attaching something to my belt, “You’re going to need this,” he pats it once.

I squeeze the handle tightly as it sits safely in its scabbard, the combat knife my dad has had longer than I’ve been alive. He never let anyone else use it, not even me… until now. It had his old commander’s name etched on one side of the scabbard, giving it to my dad the last time they saw each other. It means everything to him, and him giving it to me got a small heave from my core.

Grabbing both sides of my face, “I want you to remember everything I taught you, okay? Everything Price and I have showed you and told you, make sure you keep that all at the front of your mind. Things… things have changed in the short fourish years since any of us have been active. I know you’ve learned a lot with all of us, but… just be careful, okay? Be careful for me,” he finally starts to crumble the same way Gaz had, holding it in as best as he could.

“You know I will,” I hold his wrists as I try to find air again, “I’m always careful for you, I’m always mindful. I promised, remember? When I enlisted? That never changed.”

“I know,” he places his forehead against mine, “I know.”

I pull away from my dad, turning around to look at Soap. Walking up to him, our eyes never moving from each other. Every time I’ve ever looked in his eyes start to run through my brain, all the way back to the first time we met. All I can think about is how I’m walking away from him again, that I won’t see him again, at least, not for a long time. The thought makes me want to puke, but I don’t think anything would come from my stomach, I think it’d be my heart that hit the ground.

Making the small hop that I’ve always had to do in order for my arms to completely around his neck, and his arms go exactly where they go every time. Resting his forearms on the curves of my hourglass figure, and we stand there for a moment. Saying nothing, our breathing in sync, and the memories flood me again. The years we spent building together, the love that we shared, and everything in between rushes through my thoughts so fast that I can hear a ‘whooshing’ sound.

Looking up at him, my thumb runs over the scar on his left eye. Operation Kingfish is to blame for that, but I still can see him without it if I focus on his face long enough. His hand brushes my hair out of my face, the heartbroken smile he gives me mimics the one I had in the mirror this morning. Our conversation from last night plays in the background slightly, which is making it hard for me to find words to say.

Soap looks over my head for a second, “I’m sorry for not telling you about any of the Military things,” the only person who could understand what he’s saying is my dad, “I’m sorry for not paying attention to all of our important anniversaries, and I’m sorry for not giving you as much love as I thought I was.”

“I had to go find you in a fucking tree on the wedding anniversary, what do you mean not giving enough love?” Mac interjects.

“Da, please…” I mutter, “You gave me all the love I ever wanted, and more. No one on this planet made… makes me feel the way you do. Why were you in tree?”

“You know,” Roach raises his hand, “we did our stuff in English, and this is a family thing…”

Soap chuckles lightly, “Because I didn’t want to spend that day with anyone, but you.”

“Oh, the tree thing?” Ghost asks.

“Ghost.” He snaps.

“Sorry, sorry…” He mutters, “…Mac started it.”

Grabbing my chin, “I’ll be here waiting for you… whether that’s… just as a friend, or going back to being each other’s soulmates… I’ll be here,” he kisses my cheek.

Loud few honks get our attentions, all of them sighing almost in unison. “We’ll walk you out…” Price mutters.

“And watch you… leave…” Mac follows behind me.

However, he stands in front of the door before the men walk out, “Drop your weapons on the floor, I swear to God.”

“…Man…” Roach tosses his wooden spoon.

Gaz rolls his eyes as he tosses the pepper spray onto the table, “Who snitched?”

The others mutter as they toss their own weapons away, including Price. “I can’t take you people anywhere,” Mac walks through the door first.

Chapter Text

MacMillian’s POV

Before Tweedy even reaches them, Keegan directs her towards the other side of the house. We all share glances with each other, as we notice that Elias is carrying a duffle bag, when the others were not. I didn’t think we’d be left with these people, even if she’s just a raised voice away.

“Well-“ I’m cut off as Elias throws the duffle bag hard at me, knocking some air out of me, “what in the fuck was that for?” I shove the bag to Ghost, getting ready to clock this cunt.

“Cass isn’t coming with us,” Merrick makes eye contact with Ghost before Ghost threw it back, “Keegan is letting her know that.”

“Wait, what?” Roach looked at Logan, “what do you mean she’s not going with you guys?”

“We had Keegan make that call,” Hesh sticks his hands in his pockets, “At first, he really took what Soap had said to him as a lie, and we spied on you guys to see if he was right. If she was just… neutral versus happy at our house, and happy at your guys’ house. Which… he was right about.”

“Excuse me?” My eyes go straight for that boy, who is looking away from me. I told all of these twits that they were to say nothing about her leaving, and say nothing to them in general unless Tweedy was present.

“Then when Roach and Ghost basically barged into our home last night, telling us what we were missing…” Merrick muttered.

“Are you?” I now turn to look at Ghost and Roach.

“This is such a sturdy bag, don’t you think so, Roach?” Ghost avoids me just as Soap had.

“The stitching is nice,” Roach mumbles, eyes at the floor.

“Keegan finally came to the conclusion that he can’t give Cass what she wants,” Elias crosses his arms, “the whole marriage and family thing. She doesn’t want to be in the military anymore, she wants to live quietly. To get married. Have kids. The things Soap wants to give her… Keegan doesn’t want to leave the military, and he doesn’t want kids.”

Soap finally looked in my direction, “Yeah… that’s kind of… what she’s been waiting years for. Mostly the pups thing.”

“So, between those three mostly… Keegan has realized that Cass should be here… with you guys… and not us…” Logan ran his hand through his hair, “and we respect his opinion on it.”

“So, like… is he breaking up with her over there, or…?” Griggs glances in the direction those two went in.

“That, we don’t know,” Merrick shrugged.

“What about the contract?” I keep an ear open in my daughter’s direction, wondering if I’ll hear any crying.

“As far as the military is concerned, First Lieutenant Cassidy Esmeralda MacMillian was killed during the raid that ended Rorke,” Elias tightened his arms, “not like you guys are going to go questioning that.”

Our side all take turns looking at each other, wondering if this was really what was happening. Gaz unzips part of the duffle bag, and Soap was able to see… something… because he snatched the bag away from him, and violently zipped it back up. So, I’m assuming it was a personal item that he’d recognize, and now I want to punch him again.

Clearing my throat, “So, this is it, then?”

“Yeah,” Logan holds his hand out to Roach, “it was nice having a younger brother for a minute.”

“But I’m older than you,” he grabs his hand back, “by like, two years.”

“Felt like a younger brother to me, maybe because I already know how much it sucks to have an older one.”

“Oh, fuck you, Logan,” Hesh rolls his eyes.

Merrick chuckles at the two of them before extending his hand to Ghost, “You’re a fucking cheater,” he smirks, “and I’m saying it to your face.”

Ghost had his own grin, “And you’re a fucking sore loser, mate,” he pats his shoulder roughly once.

“Not sure what to say, man, but the soldier stuff was fun,” Griggs nudges Gaz forward,” isn’t that right, Gaz?”

“I’ll give that to you guys,” Gaz nods once, “you know how to get shit done. Probably the best joint operation I’ve ever been a part of, honestly.”

“Are you kidding?” Logan jumps lightly, “Stealing that fucking tank with Griggs and Ghost was a blast! Let’s steal another one!”

“I thought Merrick was going to piss his pants when Roach took out that helo with a grenadier,” Hesh holds is stomach as he laughs, “I’ve never seen so much fear on his face before.”

“The three sniper shots knocking them off the roof was pretty good,” Merrick punches Hesh’s arm, “haven’t seen anything like that before.”

“You guys ever need help,” Price flicks his cigar away, “you know how to reach us. We mean that, too. Being able to do something like that as some sort of recreational event for us was cathartically fun, if I might say so myself.”

“It’d be like us having our own hit squad,” Logan stretches slightly, “it’s good to know if we’re neck deep in shit, there’s people who can throw us a few ropes.”

I finally make eye contact with Elias, “I know we’ve had our differences, our insults, our… thrown punches, but I haven’t thanked you for what you did for my daughter.”

Elias’ arms drop slightly, “You’re welcome, I guess.”

“I mean it, though. For taking care of her for those four years. I don’t know what else she may have done if you hadn’t intervened, and from father, to father, I deeply thank you for taking care of her in my absence.”

“You’re welcome, Vince,” he extends his hand, “you trained her well. I thought it would’ve been a disservice to let someone of her caliber get discharged.”

I grip his hand back, but before I say anything, I see the other two returning to us. Tweedy rubs her eye slightly; Keegan was pulling his balaclava back on. His eyes glassy just as hers were, so I’m just going to assume that he did, indeed, break up with her. My gaze can’t help but look at Soap to see his expression, but the boy’s face is blank. Probably out of respect.

Keegan clears his throat, “I assume everyone is at an understanding of what’s going on… about what’s not going on… I mean…”

“Yeah, we do, lad,” I give him a singular pat on his shoulder.

Tweedy stood in front of the Ghosts for a moment, “I’m going to miss you guys,” her voice breaks multiple times.

Logan was the first to hug her, “I’m going to miss you too… and the cookies… but mostly you, of course,” he pulls away, “thanks for taking care of me.”

Her smile is light, “Well, you weren’t doing a very good job of it yourself.”

“You got a point,” he sniffles once.

Hesh takes his turn, “So, like, what do you do to get him to shut up, exactly? I’m going to miss you, and I’m going to miss the silence you used to give me.”

“It was the cookies, so now I’m going to be louder than ever,” Logan sticks his tongue out at his brother.

“…Man… it’ll be really weird without you, Cass.”

“It’ll be really weird without being with you guys too,” she fixes his hair slightly, “four years is just long enough to bond with someone.”

“Just barely,” Merrick takes his turn to hug her tight enough that he lifts her off the floor slightly, “Make sure you remind Ghost every day that he’s a fucking cheater for me, okay?”

“What the fuck?” Ghost laughs more than he actually talks.

“Cheater at what?” Tweedy coughs out slightly.

“Anything,” Merrick sets her down, “at anything at all. I’m going to miss all of our talks, Cass. It was nice having an adult conversation with three out of the five people I’m around.”

“Yeah, I can’t hold a conversation with Logan or Keegan either,” Hesh jests.

Elias shakes his head as he embraces her, “I know that… this is what’s best for you,” it sounded strained when he said that, “but they’ve offered to help us if we ever need it down the line. I assume that means you too?”

“Of course, Elias,” she smiles, “just give us a call.”

“And we’ll show up with our cooler masks,” Gaz nudges Soap slightly.

Soap looks at Keegan, “Thank you for, uh… helping Cass when she needed it and everything…” he clears his throat as he rubs the back of his neck.

Keegan returns a blank stare, “Yeah, you’re welcome, whatever… we need to get going.”

Tweedy gives Keegan one more tight hug, him placing his forehead against the top of her head. I can’t help but feel bad for the lad, but give him respect for doing what he thought was right, and putting Tweedy’s happiness before his own. Though, I’m just going to keep my mouth shut.

They pull away, “See you later,” she runs a wrist under her eye.

You could almost hear the hard swallow he just did, “Of course, Cass… see you later.”

Tweedy takes a few steps back from them, they all give one more group goodbye as we watch them get into their jeeps. A small wave, and we watch as their vehicles get smaller and smaller, until we can’t see them anymore. There’s a lot of sniffling coming from my daughter, and I put my arm around her to comfort her.

Keegan’s POV

My mask is bundled up tightly in my fist as I wait to see Cass come out of their home, just so I can… break up with her… and my heart just shattered for the millionth time today. There’s no way I’m doing any of that in front of them, so Merrick came up with the idea that they’ll let them know what’s going on, while I explain to Cass… what’s going on…

Her bright green eyes are glassy, her wrists swiping under each eye. Before she says anything, I gently grab her wrist and start pulling her in the other direction. “Keegan?” She clears her throat.

I hope I’m out of earshot, and I take a moment to look at her. How much I’m going to miss her, the freckles on her nose, her light voice, and the energy that felt so unique that you just had to know her to feel. And here I was, leaving her behind… but I have to. I can’t give her want she wants, and she can’t give me what I want.

Cupping her face as I take one last kiss, “Cass, you’re… you’re not coming with us, anymore,” my voice isn’t higher than a whisper.

Cass looks at me in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“You’re staying here, okay?”

“…Keegan?”

“I’ve been thinking about everything that’s been going on, and the future for us,” I’m holding both of her hands, “and… there isn’t one.”

She looks down at our hands, “…Are you breaking up with me, Keegan?”

My voice begins to crumble, “S-something like that. I stayed up all night last night thinking about everything, and our wants are too different. I know you don’t want this life anymore, and I think you know I don’t want to leave this life.”

“I knew deep down… I think that this is the life you were always meant to have,” she sighs, “guess I had hoped that maybe… one day… but I’d be holding my breath for that, wouldn’t I?”

“I can’t see myself doing anything else, I don’t think I’d make a good desk jockey.”

There’s a small smirk, “And I can’t see me doing all of this for much longer either. I’ve basically been in the military my whole life, and I can’t deal with it anymore.”

“And I have come to the conclusion that I don’t want kids,” I’m sure that’s the deal breaker.

Cass looks up at me again, “Never…?”

Shaking my head slowly, “I can’t see myself having kids at all. I don’t think that’s for me, but I know how important that is to you. So taking all of that into mind… we don’t have a future where we’re both fulfilled and happy… and I want you to be happy.”

I grit my teeth tightly, squeezing my eyes shut, “Soap is the one that can give you that… I can’t… that means that you need to stay here, with the One-Four-One.”

Cass gives me a light smile as she holds my face, “Everything I’ve ever said to you, I meant,” she waits until my eyes open again, “you are special, and I know that there’s going to be a woman for you. One that isn’t broken. One that can give you everything you deserve and has the same dreams as you do. And I don’t want you to forget any of that, okay?”

Tears run down my face, “Thank you, Cass… things are going to be… empty without you around. Who’s going to babysit Logan now?”

There’s a small laugh, “I’ll write down the cookie recipe, and you can hold that over Merrick too.”

“Oh, that’s going to piss him off,” some snickers slip from me, “he’s been trying to get that from you for four years.”

“Keep it close to the chest, though.”

“You know I will, pissing Merrick off happens to be a hobby of mine.”

“You guys can come back to visit, if you want,” she sticks the folded-up paper in my pocket.

I stiffen slightly, “Yeah… if there are any… pups… I hope you know that there’s a chance of us leaving Hesh or Logan behind to be babysat too.”

“Wouldn’t expect it any other way,” she kisses my forehead, “then instead of goodbye, this is a see you later.”

“Okay… see you later…” I follow behind her as we walk back towards the group.

The group starts saying their goodbyes, but everything is just so muffled to me. There’s some joking, the laughing… and I’m just so empty right now. I know what I’m doing is right, and this is the best thing I can do for Cass, but it hurts so much.

“Thank you for, uh… helping Cass when she needed it and everything…” he clears his throat as he rubs the back of his neck.

Thinking he was talking to me, “Yeah, you’re welcome, whatever… we need to get going…” I do need to get going, I need to get out of here.

Cass gives me one more tight hug, and I place my forehead against the top of her head. To just take her scent in one more time, and my eyes are stinging again. “See you later,” she wipes her cheeks again as she pulls away from me.

Almost choking on my own emotions, “Of course, Cass… see you later…”

I leave them behind slightly as they give their last goodbyes, and I get into the passenger’s seat. My stomach is trying to empty itself, of what, I don’t know, I haven’t eaten anything since yesterday. Merrick gets in our driver’s seat and drives off. “Figured you wouldn’t want to deal with Hesh and Logan right now,” he messes with the rear-view mirror.

“Thanks…”I rub my eyes.

“How’d you do it, though?”

“Do it?”

“Let Cass go,” he glances at me, “I’m not judging you in a harsh way, I get that sounded like me being an asshole. I had a hard time saying goodbye, how’d you do it?”

I think for a minute, “I knew she’d be happier if I left her behind, and that our love couldn’t save our relationship. We just want completely different things… besides… I don’t think she was ever really mine.”

“Don’t buy into that rebound bullshit.”

“Not in that way, I know she loves me… but she loves him more… and he can give her the love that she needs. My love isn’t that… and that’s pretty much it.”

Merrick pats my shoulder, “I told you; you weren’t a cold-hearted asshole all the time.”

“All the time?”

“I mean, you’re a dick sometimes,” he laughs, “we all are.”

“Oh, I’m a dick, eh?” I cross my arms, “Guess who knows the cookie recipe?”

“NO, SHE FUCKING DIDN’T!”

“YES, SHE FUCKING DID, MERRICK! I HOLD THE COOKIE RECIPE!”

“BULLSHIT!”

I grab my stomach as he loses his mind, yelling into the steering wheel. My phone rings, “H-hello?” I’m trying to catch my breath.

“Did we hear something about cookies?” Hesh asks, “Logan swears he did.”

“In the car behind us? Merrick, your voice travels,” still can’t catch my breath.

“CASS TOLD THIS ASSHOLE HOW TO MAKE THE FUCKING COOKIES, AND NOT ME!” Merrick shouts towards my phone.

“I KNEW I HEARD COOKIES!” Logan’s voice is heard.

I hang the phone up, pressing my hand against the pocket where Cass stuffed the paper. At least I can still have something of hers, and that something just happens to piss Merrick off. My heart is still trying to rupture, but… we’ll be okay… and she’ll be okay…

Chapter Text

Third Person POV

The One-Four-One go back into their home, Soap setting the duffle bag down by the door. Cassidy looked over the room, her palms twisting against her eyes. All the emotions that have rushed through her being within the last hour alone left her slightly fatigued. She had no idea that the Ghosts were going to leave her behind, and she doesn’t really understand what made them change their minds.

Her emeralds look around at the group, “So…that was…odd…” her eyes run over them slightly, “am I missing something?”

“Don’t think so,” Ghost chuckles slightly nervously, “but I know I am missing something. I’ll need my balaclava back.”

“Good to know your lying is still easy to spot,” she tosses his mask to him, “but given the number of emotions I have given today, and it’s not even eleven in the morning yet, I’ll ignore that.”

Mac sweeps Cassidy up, spinning slightly while holding her bridal style, “I still have my baby girl!”

“Da, you’re going to make me puke!” her laughter bounces around the room.

Setting her down gently, “I’m just happy you’re still here with us.”

“I know, I know.”

“Made us all cry for no reason,” Gaz teases, plopping down onto his recliner, “the nerve.”

Roach shakes his head at Gaz, “I’m so relieved  you’re still here,” he hugs her gently, “we’re all a family again. I told you we’d get it back, Ghost,” his darker green eyes glances in his direction.

“Uh, huh?” Ghost looks up from his Gameboy.

“You said we’d never all be together again,” he gestures to Cassidy, “and I told you we would be. I was right for once, and you were wrong.”

“Keep that ‘for once’ part deep in your memory, bug,” he rolls his eyes slightly.

“I will, and I’ll rub it in your face at any moment I can,” Roach overdramatically rolls his own eyes in return to his comment.

“Still childish as fuck, guys,” Griggs leans against the arm of the couch, “but I think that’s a permanent thing at this point in your lives.”

“That’s a lot of talk coming from someone that makes ‘help me’ noises when eating gummy bears,” Ghost fires back.

“Hah!” Gaz laughs exactly once.

Price places his arm across Cassidy’s shoulders, “Welcome home, Tweedy,” he kisses the top of her head, “Hope you’re ready to handle all of this twenty-four-seven again. Not to mention it getting more annoying with all of them knowing each other at once,” he mutters.

“Yeah, Ghost and Gaz get super annoying,” Roach looks over his shoulder as he looks through some movies, “nerdy shit too, mom.”

“Oh, my God,” Cassidy giggles at group, “I wouldn’t want this any other way.”

Soap continues to watch on from the corner, wondering what he should say. He didn’t know what Keegan had said to Cassidy, and with the ‘see you later’ thing, he wasn’t sure where he stood. Did they break up? He knew that he told her that he’d be okay with being a friend, but when he was being faced with that reality, it shatters his heart completely.

The other Ghosts had made mention that Keegan knew that he was the one that could give her what she wanted, but it didn’t come out of his mouth. Even with them doing what they felt was right, he had a hard time trusting that they weren’t setting him up somehow. Making it sound like they weren’t together, so that when he went to talk to her after they left, he’d look like an asshole still trying to get her affection.

Does he pull her aside and ask about it? What if he did break up with her, and she’s upset? She wasn’t acting super upset about Keegan directly, but with everything that just happened, he continues to just watch her. Let her make the decision, so that he doesn’t say or do something stupid.

Cassidy looked over her shoulder, finally making eye contact with Soap. Everyone else was getting wrapped up in other things, Ghost and Gaz were arguing over the game that was on the Gameboy, Griggs and Roach were looking through the movies together, while Price and Mac were figuring out what room she should be in. Mostly because neither of them know if she and Soap were going to be together or not.

She walks towards him, “Not happy or anything?” Her voice is low, not to catch anyone else’s attention.

A smirk appears on his lips, “I’m over the moon, but I don’t want to continue to bombard you with things,” he tucks some of her hair behind her ear.

Her hand reached down into her shirt, her pinky hooking the chain that held her engagement ring and Soap’s dog tags. Unclipping the chain part, she grabs his wrist to drop something into his hand. His eyes gaze over the engagement ring in his palm, trying to not lean any way emotionally. He didn’t know where this was going, if this was her just giving the ring back, or… if he could finally put it back on… where he knew it always belonged.

All of the stress on his shoulders dropped as Cassidy held her left hand out to him, “Thought you’d want to put it back on,” she smiles.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Griggs cuts through the quiet moment the couple was trying to have, “being all sneaky and shit, is that what I think it is?”

Soap dropped his head slightly, “…I hate it here.”

“Hold on,” Gaz hopped up from his chair, “you have to re-do all that, I missed it.”

“I don’t remember you re-asking, son,” Mac jokes as he turns around to look at the two of them, “I’ll let it slip by this once.”

Cassidy shook her head as she walked towards the middle of the group, “C’mon, John, we have a show to put on, I guess.”

As he follows behind, he pauses to glare directly at Griggs, “I love you too, Soap,” he winks, earning the finger from his former superior.

Soap glances around for a moment, “So, like… can I just slide the ring back on like I was going to?”

“Isn’t there supposed to be a whole kneel thing?” Ghost raises an eyebrow.

Price glances at Mac, “Ghost’s got a point, boy.”

“Ghost’s going to get my foot up his-“

“Didn’t you write something in your journal to read to her?” Roach asks.

Shaking her head rapidly, “He’s not reading that out loud to anyone here… it gets… personal…”

“How personal?” Mac crosses his arms.

Sighing loudly, Soap gets down on one knee, “This kind of took the whole… moment we were sharing with each other…”

“Yeah… kind of did.”

“Well, pretend we’re not here,” Gaz opens a bag of chips, Griggs’ hand going into it the moment it’s open.

The two just stare at each other for a few moments, smirks slowly making their ways onto their faces. She holds her hand out, “He didn’t ask yet,” Ghost’s mouth full of chips.

“Oh, my God,” Soap snaps in his direction.

“What? Aren’t you supposed to ask it? It’d be weird to just get down on one knee, and then try to cram the ring on their finger.”

“I’ve asked her before, she still had the bloody ring, mate.”

“Still should ask again,” Gaz reaches for his drink.

“It’s really hard to pretend you dicks aren’t here if you keep talking,” Cassidy shot her own glare towards the peanut gallery.

“Yeah, Simon,” sipping his drink, “shut the fuck up, mate.”

Sighing heavily, “Will you marry me, Cass?” Soap tries to push the feelings for the others from his mind, focusing only on his already-said-yes fiancé.

“That didn’t sound ver—”Roach begins.

“SHUT IT!” Cassidy yells in their direction, “this is a reenactment of his proposal, not a complete redoing. The way he proposed before can’t be done again, so this is the best you guys are going to get. The next person to open their yap is getting thrown out a window.”

“…yes, mom…”

Without further interruption, Soap is able to finally slide her engagement ring back on her finger. Her eyes trail over it again, it looked so much different when it was on her finger. The ring is an ebony angel wing ring, the center being a heart shaped sapphire and small moonstones fanning out from the sapphire. It always caught the light just right, no matter how it was positioned.

“Aww, that was just so emotional,” Griggs fakes some sniffles, “why can’t the original be done, exactly?”

Standing up, “It was a different time and place, it was before everything went to absolute shit. Right before the raids,” he looks at Roach and Ghost, who both look down at the floor.

Cassidy shakes her head as she places her lips against Soap’s, “And that’s a life we’re not talking about anymore, because those lives are gone, in a way. It’s…. upsetting to think about to a degree…”

“Yeah,” Ghost nods slowly, “never thought about just calling it a past life, honestly. It fits, though, for all of us.”

Roach stretched his back, “This is our new life, and it’s better than what we had before… to me, anyway. Gaz and Griggs fit in with us pretty well, and we’re all together this time.”

“Us? Who is us?” Griggs raised any eyebrow.

“The… legitimate One-Four-One?” Ghost seems unsure of his words, which is rare.

“Military sanctioned makes more sense,” Soap corrects, “the one that operated on the fact of you two no longer being… service members.”

“Ah, okay,” Gaz shrugs, “makes sense, but I can agree with Roach. This is better. No worrying, just relaxing, no one bothering us. It’s nice.”

Mac simply nods in agreement, “So, who’s ready for a movie?”

“What’re we watching?” Ghost sets his GameBoy aside.

Price is digging through the snack pantry, “Both types of popcorn, right?”

“I think we agreed on The Descent,” Mac walks towards the kitchen, “and yeah, lad, both.”

“Sweet! Horror movies beat all movies! I’ll grab the other chips!” Roach happily jogs into the kitchen himself.

“Guess that means I’m on drinks,” Griggs made his way in the opposite direction, storing most of their cold items in a smaller room next to the kitchen.

“Got the cast working,” Gaz finishes getting the movie ready, “I’m going to go help Griggs with the drinks.”

“You two got it?”

“Think so. Shouldn’t you be grabbing the candy, though?”

“Ah, right. On it,” Ghost makes his way towards where the bedrooms are.

Soap and Cassidy get comfortable on the love seat, her curling up to him as much as she possibly could. Her hand grabs the blanket hanging off the back of the couch, “Been while since I’ve seen this movie,” she pulls the blanket over the both of them.

Placing his arm along the back of the love seat, “I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen it myself,” he looks at her, “probably was whenever you watched it last. I don’t usually go out of my way to watch horror movies.”

“Because you’re a baby.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s it,” he snorts, “has nothing to do with me not caring for them much.”

“Course it doesn’t,” she smirked as she got comfortable.

All he does his shake his head once more, coiling his arm around the back of his fiancée. Taking a moment to let the feeling set in again, the way her love melted into his being, something he’s craved for the passed four years of his life. Getting a few small tastes here and there weren’t enough for him, so finally having the full effect back was exhilarating for him.

Her ears listened closely to the heartbeat of her soulmate, the light bumps drowning out anything else that could be making noise. Adjusting her head just slightly so that her ear could be directly against his heart, an act she did for their entire relationship. Cuddling with him, a warm feeling running through her being, and it was warm feeling that only Soap could make her feel.

Cassidy looked up at him, “Hmm?” His eyebrow rose at her.

“I love you, John,” her lips lightly touch his.

The smirk he had could be felt against her own, “I love you too, Cass.”

“Oh, get a room,” Ghost throws at couch pillow at the two.

“Alright,” Soap begins to stand up, giggling coming from his significant other.

“Don’t you dare,” Roach points sharply at them, “I can’t be scarred again this soon, so plant it.”

“Ahahaha!” His laughter was met by the pillow being thrown back at him.

She shook her head at the three, “Can you pass me some of those chips, Gary?”

“Course, mom,” he lingered his glare towards the former Lieutenant as he walked towards her, him handing her one of the bowls from the tray he had.

Gaz and Griggs return to the room, “Still drink Dr. Pepper, Cass?” Gaz holds up the can.

“Aye, still do.”

Soap gagged slightly, “Absolutely not.”

“I asked Cass,” he tosses the can, “not the boytoy.”

“Boytoy, mate? We can take this outside.”

“Or, we could just get ready for the movie,” Griggs tossed a can of Coke towards the Scotsman, “I’m sure Mac and Price would knock your heads together.”

Catching the can, “Fine then, it’s early.”

“Knock heads together?” Mac looks over everyone in the room, “what’s going on?”

“Gaz called Soap Cass’ ‘boytoy’, so he was going to clock him,” Ghost tosses some of the packaged candy towards the engaged couple, “but they’ve both decided to wait until later today. Can’t start swinging until after noon.”

Price raised an eyebrow at Mac, “Things never change, do they?”

“Would you really want them to?” He hands his daughter the couple’s bowl of popcorn, “this would get rather boring if these people acted their ages.”

“Act our ages? We do,” Gaz rolled his eyes.

“Don’t act like you didn’t just put Bugles on your fingertips, and try to scratch me,” Roach inched away from him.

“Alright, alright, everyone,” Mac plopped down on the bigger couch, “it’s movie time.”

“Which means button your yaps,” Price closes the curtains to get the glare off of the TV.

Griggs jokingly raises his hand, “Does that mean you too? You’re not going to say how you would’ve survived this, and done that, and did this…”

“They don’t even have the right climbing equipment,” Ghost mocked, “how were they supposed to go back up?”

“Or Mac,” Gaz snorts, “Why do they need a bloody book? It’s a cave.”

“Pen us in for the brawl later,” Mac glanced towards Roach, “I’ll be nice and let Soap go first against Gaz.”

“Yes, sir,” Roach faked a salute.

With the little back and forth settled, the group got comfortable for the movie before them. Just as if time never stopped for them, the family that the One-Four-One is, is spending time together. Their lives together, and for the first time in a long time Cassidy felt tightly at home. She loves the Ghosts with all her heart, and is going to miss them all dearly, but this group is her family.  

The lives of the One-Four-One, Bravo Six, and the sole Marine may be considered ended if the Military had been asked, and in a way, they were. All their ranks seemed to have fallen from their beings, only nicknames being held onto so dearly. Just as a family would be, and their family was complete for the time being. And none of them could’ve really asked for anything better, with all the cards they collectively had been dealt.

Even with all the torment, trauma, pain and pure suffering, this is the best thing they could have. While it may have took some years to get to this point, they finally had everything they would ever need. Broken, battered and scarred, the One-Four-One were reunited, and content with knowing that the rest of their lives would be shared with each other.