Chapter Text
Old man Ranpo, head of the Edogawa crime family, ran his empire out of an upscale restaurant/bar in Kawasaki. It was something of a cliche, but there were many practical reasons for that cliche. No one questioned people from out of town visiting the best restaurant in town, and of course, it would have discreet meeting rooms. He would have preferred to name it something other than Suginuma, but the name was something his father chose and it would be incredibly inconvenient to change it now. But really, why name a restaurant Heron Swamp? It was hardly appetizing and it wasn't a local geographic feature at all.
The downside to the practice was dealing with the occasional inconvenient guest. Thankfully shinobi generally stayed away, not willing or able to pay the prices for the food in his restaurant. Part of that was that Saginuma specialized in Tofu dishes, which was not as calorie dense as meatier fare. After all, shinobi tended to eat a lot to power their jutsus and avoided places with truly high end cuisine (not that Suginuma really qualified, but it was better than typical ninja fare), and things like presentation and ambiance were unimportant to them (Suginuma did have that).
"-place has the best tofu, Shikako."
"If you say so."
"Hn."
Unfortunately, generally was not the same as always, and the shinobi they did attract were the best paid and therefore most dangerous. That was the infamous Team Seven, minus sensei. Technically that was no longer their official designation, but the name had been retired, likely until one of the three natural disasters took on their own genin team.
The one that spoke first was Naruto Uzumaki, someone who Ranpo's every instinct insisted was a brainless idiot. However, the first time Uzumaki had visited Saginuma, he had been in the company of Jiraiya the Sannin, who despite his numerous public faults, had been a subtle and wily bastard. It would be exceedingly unwise to assume that Uzumaki was what he appeared to be on the surface. After all, he was still alive when many of his enemies were not.
The other two hadn't visited the restaurant before. The Shikabane-hime and the Last Uchiha. Ranpo didn't believe all the things the two had been said to do, but some were far too public to disbelieve, like shutting down a bijuu without taking a scratch. The Nara looked more like a traveling accountant than a person of mass destruction, right down to the ink stains. The Uchiha, on the other hand, looked about as dangerous as his reputation suggested.
Mari-chan asked them a series of hushed questions, though Ranpo knew what they would be: how many in their party, if they needed a private room, and so on.
"Nah, we aren't here on business!"
The Nara slapped the back of his head. "Indoor voice."
"How about a table with a view of the river?" asked the Uchiha.
Mari-chan froze for a moment. Normally Ranpo would have said it was hardly noticeable, but these were some of the most infamous shinobi in the Elemental Nations. "Pardon, but the only table available with that kind of view is in the middle of the room." Normally ninja disliked people approaching them from the rear.
"That's no trouble," the Nara said politely. Ranpo paled slightly. There were a number of possible reasons for her nonchalance. One was that they were here to start trouble and wanted open sight lines. Another was that they knew about Ranpo's personal seating preferences and wanted him close by so he would overhear them.
However, their conversation at first was only the usual banalities about the menu. The Uzumaki was of a mind to try a little of everything, while the Nara was trying to get him to pay attention to their budget. The Uchiha seemed intent on trying to find something a bit more meaty. Eventually the Nara noticed the tofu and tomato dishes and the Uchiha decided that he wanted to try them all.
Having ordered, the blond leaned back. "Shame about the Aoiya." Ranpo listened more closely. The Aoiya was run by one of his lieutenants with a penchant for the more unsavory side of the business. Or rather had been run. There had been a fire and said lieutenant along with three other of his higher ranked underlings had died. "They had some good pork, though some of the other things they had were kinda gross."
The Nara made a face. "I don't want to hear about that kind of thing ever again." Ranpo stiffened. Was this the message? His men said there wasn't any sign of foul play, just Sugita's usual cutting of corners, but a ninja could have faked it. Sure they had a chakra sensor run over things, but this was the Shikabane-hime. Team Seven could be talking about food, but they could also be telling him not to rebuild the drug business after they gutted the leadership of his drug runners.
"I'm surprised that one of Gato's old ships was on the docks," commented the Uchiha.
"You mean you're surprised that the crew tried to help with the fire," said the Nara. "He's been dead for years. I'd be surprised if more than a handful of the men on the ship worked for him."
The Uchiha snickered.
"What's funny, teme?"
"Just remembering the look on Gato's face at what Kako said right before he died."
The Nara rolled her eyes. "It wasn't right before he died. We had to kill a lot of his thugs first."
That made it far more likely that it was a message. Everyone knew that Gato was also big in the drug business. And didn't someone from Mist kill him?
Ranpo had gotten his men to run down the story of the death of Gato. The bastard had made the mistake of hiring Zabuza to kill a man being guarded by Team Fucking Seven. This was back when they were still green, so it wasn't as stupid as it sounded now, but to make up for it, Gato bragged that he wasn't going to pay Zabuza. So obviously, the Mist and Leaf ninja banded together and wiped out the short moron. How did that idiot ever get as powerful as he did?
Ranpo wasn't an idiot and heeded the warning. Unfortunately, some of his men were idiots. It would be one thing if they had just continued doing business. It was something entirely else when the morons decided attacking Team Fucking Seven was a good idea. It never ceased to amaze Ranpo how a group of people could decide to do something that no single person in that group thought was a good idea.
By all accounts Team Seven was on a food tour. Oh, Ranpo was sure that they were doing other things like maintaining contact with spies and, yes, spreading the message that dealing in drugs wasn't going to be tolerated in the future, but he couldn't think of many ways to annoy a ninja more than to attack them while they're trying to relax and being on vacation didn't mean they left their damn ninja magic at home.
"That was weird," Shikako said.
Naruto had his hands behind his head and rocked back on his heels. "Kind of nostalgic. Reminded me of Wave."
Sasuke prodded one of the fallen men with his foot. "Hn."
"Anyone make out why they were attacking?" asked Shikako.
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Maybe they'd be able to tell us if you hadn't frightened them into catatonia."
Shikako shrugged. "How was I supposed to know that the shadow bind/killing intent combo would be that effective on them? Gosunkugi could still talk after I did it to him. He didn't want to do anything except talk."
"Kako, you got a lot scarier since you were a genin," Sasuke said dryly.
"I'm hungry. Want to try that ramen stand?"
Shikako stepped behind Sasuke. "You mean the ramen stand that was destroyed in the brawl?"
It took a lot for Naruto to radiate killing intent. Sasuke could probably cut off Naruto's arm and they'd still be best friends. Technically speaking, this wasn't even killing intent. "I'm going to make an example of these guys." Naruto took out some paint and glitter, though from where Sasuke had no clue. Spending time around Shikako meant that he'd seen just about every method of activating a seal imaginable, and that definitely wouldn't have fit under his jacket. It's like when Naruto wanted to prank someone hard enough, the universe provided supplies so he got it out of his system faster.
"Let's try that Suginuma place again," Sasuke said to Shikako, knowing that what Naruto had in mind would only be humiliating and technically not harmful, even if he was radiating something very close to killing intent.
"The tofu and tomato soup was good." Shikako turned to Naruto. "We'll get a table."
There was a familiar puff of chakra as Naruto turned to join them. "I can leave the discipline up to my clones."
"Setting such a good example for Konohamaru," Shikako said with a laugh.
"Just trying to undo the damage Ebisu did. Did you see what they were doing when we left?"
Sasuke tuned out Naruto's rant about the horrors of Ebisu as a jounin instructor as they took a leisurely stroll to the tofu restaurant. It wasn't anything they hadn't heard a thousand times before. Actually, at two or three times a day for a year, that might be literal.
Naruto had started snickering as soon as they entered the restaurant. Sasuke took it as a sign that his clones had finished their chastisement. The trio got a seat at the same table as they did last time. Shikako had liked the view. Sasuke sometimes wondered if Shikako and Naruto realized how much they were bragging by choosing to sit in such exposed positions. Normally, he would say yes, but Naruto was an idiot and Shikako had these odd blindspots where she didn't realize what she was doing was impressive. Of course, they were the two most stupidly overpowered sensors on the continent at this point, so they did have bragging rights.
"So how out of control did you get, dobe?"
"Me? Out of control? Never!" Naruto snickered some more. "Let's just say that to get free they're going to lose some hair in some very sensitive places." Several people in earshot flinched at that.
"Didn't you swear off vengeance?" Sasuke drawled.
"This isn't vengeance. It's education." Naruto was the soul of innocence.
"The dead don't suffer. You can only kill a man once, but you can humiliate and torture them multiple times," said Shikako dryly.
"I'm just taking a personal interest in the well being of the people."
"What would Tsunade say?" Sasuke countered.
"Ah, the old lady doesn't have to know. We're on vacation! It's all personal business! Nothing to do with Konoha." Naruto did his stupid head bob thing. He might be Sasuke's best friend, but sometimes it was embarrassing being around him.
Ranpo had gotten the message that whatever Team Seven was doing here, they were trying to keep things separate from Konoha, so there was going to be plausible deniability built into any communication. Unfortunately, the message was still vague enough that he didn't know exactly what they wanted.
He had a much better idea after his men found what happened to the idiots. Each of them had been stripped naked and covered in what might be called pink paint and glitter, except that the paint didn't act like any paint Ranpo had heard of. It had hardened into something like plaster, just not as brittle. It took a lot of careful work to crack the surface without injuring the man underneath, and even then it stuck to any body hair, meaning that it was a mild nightmare for the sections applied to the pelvic area.
It definitely brought new meaning to what the Nara had said: "The dead don't suffer." Killing Sugita had been their form of mercy. Now they had moved on to "education." It made Ranpo, not desperate, but very concerned as to what they really wanted.
Sasuke would never admit it, but the tofu and tomato soup at Suginuma was almost exactly like what his mother made, and he had broken into the place to find the recipe twice now to no success. It wasn't arrogance for him to assume that it wasn't written down and the cook just did it by feel. Then he tried staking out the kitchen to use his eyes to learn the recipe. Unfortunately, it seemed like no one ordered the damn soup except for him.
Oh, he did find evidence that Suginuma was being used to run an organized crime ring (no legitimate restaurant would have that much coded information inside its walls), but they were on vacation, and it wasn't like it had anything to do with the soup recipe. (Just to be safe he cracked some of the codes and didn't find anything food related.)
It wasn't any question that Naruto and Shikako would help him by ordering themselves, but he'd be ribbed about it for years, unless he fessed up why he wanted the recipe. Yes, he could tell them anything, but he really didn't want to admit that he used to call it tototo soup, which was just embarrassing. They definitely wouldn't tease him for wanting to taste his mother's cooking, but the childhood name for the soup wouldn't be off limits. If he admitted the family connection, it was almost destined to come out. There was such a thing as being too comfortable with his team.
Actually, he might as well get it over with, because the longer he waited, the more likely it would be they would remember to mention it to Ino.
Team Seven had been by enough times that when just the Uzumaki and the Nara showed up, it sent alarm bells in Ranpo's head. Mari-chan had asked if their third would be joining them, and the Nara said she wasn't sure, but they would order him a bowl of the tofu and tomato soup anyways.
"Do you think Sasuke is going to get what he wants?" asked the Uzumaki after they ordered.
"He's too stubborn not to, but it might take longer than he wants. If he sees a white powder, it could be salt or sugar or something completely different."
The blond nodded and started talking about trade in Iwa, which Ranpo took note of. It sounded like they were serious about saying they were taking personal interest and the Uchiha was tracking the remaining drug supply at the moment. At least two of the drugs the family dealt with - that is, previously dealt with - could be described as white powders. It sounded like they wanted the inventory dumped in the direction of Iwa, which made sense given the rumors about the Tsuchikage having domestic problems now. At least they weren't insisting he burn it all.
Part of the success of the Edogawa family was that they didn't run protection rackets. They had customers that paid for protection, but it wasn't extortion. If you paid for protection, you got protection. The other way of doing things was only profitable in the short term.
Thus, a new gang moving in was something best nipped in the bud… or it would be if Team Seven hadn't utterly trounced them. Given that the morons had interrupted Team Seven while they were eating, Ranpo would normally chalk it up to coincidence, but not with the visits they had paid to Suginuma and the fact that they hadn't just beat the crap out of the thugs that had bothered them, but the leadership of the Usagi gang as well.
(Eight hours earlier
"Sorry about this, but we have a bit of an issue with rabbits."
"Usagi is my actual name!"
"I'd recommend changing it. Now this won't hurt a bit.")
They didn't destroy the gang, but the rabbits would be licking their wounds for a while. Now to figure out what Team Seven's angle was.