Work Text:
“People are good!”
“People are not to be trusted!”
She overheard variations on the same argument over and over again as she walked winding paths in Yiling villages, but each time could only sigh in disbelief.
In a-Qing’s experience, the only thing people invariably were was… people.
They went about their lives, focused on their own thoughts, worrying about their own petty little concerns. The inattention to what was going on around them was almost… admirable.
A-Qing, on the other hand, constantly had to keep in mind what others were seeing and thinking. Had to consider how effective her ruse was in any given moment. Constantly had to question whether any kindness she was offered was a trap. Or whether a gruff exterior masked a sweet interior. She had to notice the quiet person in the corner, to notice when someone pretended not to have received a dish. To spot if someone slipped a scrap to a street dog. She always paid heed to someone drawing the crowd’s attention, someone distracting most people, giving her an opening. She was constantly collecting information: which ways people might benefit her, and in which ways they might hurt her.
But she wasn’t convinced that those things meant anything when it came to being good or being bad.
Even her, for example.
She knew stealing was “bad.” That lying was too. But it was only when she did those things that she slept peacefully, belly full, satisfied from her day’s bounty.
One person’s loss could be her gain. She equally had to be sure another person’s gain wouldn’t be her loss. So was taking what they had truly selfish? Or was it relieving them from a misdeed to relieve them of the wealth they flaunted?
The chaos, the unpredictability, could be frightening, of course. There were nights where she hadn’t run into the right people. Hadn’t been able to pull off the right ploy. Nights where she had to run. To hope. To plead that she would get to her hiding places before they saw her vanish into them.
For a-Qing, every move was a gamble, but was also a chance she always took. For the risk of doing nothing was always so much higher, and the game was, after all, all she knew. Still, she had fun where she could. Revelled in a successful trick. Savoured a gifted treat. Tried to make the best bets she could, to understand her targets before approaching them.
But… she had taken a chance, walking into that sightless Daozhang. Something had told her he could be trusted, and a-Qing had long ago learned to trust her gut.
How was she to know, though, that for all he himself was trustworthy, that the Daozhang seemed to act as a magnet for precisely those who could not be trusted?