Work Text:
1.
Shit.
He found them. The letters.
He read them.
He threw up all over the bed. It fucked him up that much.
Why? Why did I do that? Why did I keep the bloody letters, why did I--
Why did I have to lie to him?
The clock was ticking. It was only a matter of time.
Two years… That bloody secret was kept for two years. And it never got any easier to bear with.
I have no choice anymore.
I’ve got to tell him.
2.
He refused to touch my hand… I hope he doesn’t hate me too much.
He’s still in shock. It makes sense. He probably just needs some sleep.
It’ll be alright. Everything will b
*
* *
I fell asleep on the sofa mid-sentence… I’ll go upstairs to see how Christopher is doing now.
Hopefully better than yesterday.
*
* *
Shit. He’s not in his room.
He’s nowhere in the house.
Toby’s cage is missing.
*
* *
He’s not in the garden either.
Jesus fucking Christ.
He… he can’t have gotten too far, right? Right?
Christopher can’t stand strangers or places he doesn’t know. He can’t be that hard to find!
3.
I went to the police station.
Apparently a neighbor had already called. She said… she said that Christopher told her he was going to London. To live with his mother. Because I had killed a dog and he-- was frightened of me.
My own kid! I never thought-- I never thought words could hurt this fucking much.
The police asked if the part about the dog was true. There was no point in lying. I told them.
*
* *
He managed to get to the train station!
Fuck, if the situation wasn’t… what it is, I could probably be proud of him. He even bought a ticket and got on a train!
He’s got a policeman with him. It’ll be alright.
4.
I can’t believe it.
They lost Christopher on the train. Which means they have to check every single station because who fucking knows where he is now!
…I wish I’d known just how bad this would get before I kept her--
…before I…
…God, this my own bloody fault as much as hers.
If anything happens to him… And the last impression he has of me is being frightened--
*
* *
He-- I--
I don’t even know where to start.
They found Christopher! At his fucking mother’s house!
…I went there.
Caused a ruckus at 2 am.
In the end I got to see him but he--
…he…
Shit.
Maybe I’ve lost his trust for good.
5.
It’s been so long… He has to stay two hours every day but he still refuses to even talk to me.
I’m not even blaming anyone anymore. I’m just… tired.
This can’t go on forever. I have to do something! I think-- I think I have an idea… I hope it works.
I don’t even care how long it takes. I just…
I just need my son back.